Your technology related job

Started as code monkey
As I climb higher on the ladder, I spend less time coding and more time in meetings and shit

it sucks

>>60097132
Develop and fix code made upon numerous layers of abstraction and without really knowing how things work.

Sit at home and wait for calls.
Nobody fucking calls.
Wish I had money.

>>60097190

Ever considered chaturbating?

>>60097132
> Writing fucking acceptance tests
> Pajeet writes production code (management told us not to implement it)
> Reviewing Pajeet's code
> It sucks
> WoW requires to write the link to the verification into commit message
> Look into it
> He did not run the tests I wrote.
> I say It needs the acceptance test.
> Says no
> Management approves
> I am removed from the reviewers
God damnit.

>>60097132
I play dwarf fortress and I sometimes write windows web services
But mostly I look after my dwarfs and read wikis

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>Come in 1 hour late
>Procrastinate with coworkers for about an hour
>Get assigned shitty 30 mins code / server patch tasks
>Spent the rest of the day shitposting/lurking

I WFH 2 day a week tho.
Damn i look being a latin america pajeet.

>>60097811
*days
*love

(fuck this keyboard)

IT Service Delivery and Change Manager

>Come into office, see pile of emails of what has gone wrong overnight
>Talk to people in the department, check on the Service Desk, get underling to make me a coffee
>Sit down and go through emails, raise new RFCs for weekly CAB
>Boss calls me, heaps a load of shit for me to do before project meeting
>Call 3rd party vendors and complain about what happened overnight
>Couple of project meetings
>Lunch with a supplier
>Project trackers, update calendar for scheduled outages, talk to devs about how much of a meme Agile is
>Chase Finance on releasing POs
>Go home

I work as a developer at a company where the lead dev is from India. Our entire product is developed by Indians, and me and two other in house developers' job is to fix their code when it breaks.

>>60097132
>being one hour late, no one gives a fuck
>make a double espresso
>read some HN and do some shitposting
>fuck is already 10 wtf
>check email for urgent issues
>fix one line of code, save millions to the company
>lunch time, mobilepost on /g/
>back to work, CTO calls: "hey anon, nice fix!" yeah whatever fuck off now let me shitpost, I have some important internet discussions to do
>shitpost even more
>it's 4pm already wtf implement those stupid features that we talked during the stupid weekly standup
>finish early, go back home, shitpost on the bus

>fly drones
>don't crash
>sell photos for thousands

> Lurk /g/ for the whole day
> Get money from parents
Best job ever

>>60097993
I can only dream of this level of job security

How do I become a code monkey with the least amount of effort

>>60098727
Become an intern through a placement agency

>IT
>Go to work
>Help boss out with whatever hes working on
>Shitpost
>Tell people to turn it off and on again
>Shitpost
>Tell people im sorry the server/their pc's are slow
>Shitpost
>Clean out a printer
>Shitpost
>Go home
>Shitpost
>Dump paycheck into shitposting more effectively

>>60097132
Try to port IoTivity onto new smart lightbulb. Repeat.

I spend my time blocking cries for help with "Make a ticket"
It's funny because usually they don't know how.

Look I already told you, I deal with the @#$% customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people, can't you understand that? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

>>60098755
How do I get a placement agency to accept me?

>>60097432
Pretty Comfy.

I come in, spend 30m making coffee, and then I spend the day working on mysql queries or java software, while shitposting on 4chan.

>>60098842
Just contact them and say that you have some skills, but want to get more experience, so you want to get an entry-level job somewhere. Or even contact companies directly who are hiring junior developers or similar and they might take you on board without a huge amount of responsibility

>>60098824
This sounds like 90% of my communication with our sales team

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>>60098879
I have no skills

>>60098980
Work on that shit, learn an in-demand language like java or C# and some frameworks or something and put together some projects

Service desk/sysadmin
Be on time to work
Take a call
Fix something remotely and smooth af
Take email
Open tickets for experts
Repeat ad infinitum

I'm great at my job, pay is ok and clients are mostly ok (corporate). Still I feel the urge to kill myself and set things on fire.

>>60098980
>Wants to be a code monkey
>Does not know any code
Leave now, thanks

BI Analyst

> talk with normies about their information needs
> write down requirements
> write some SQL and create visualization for dashboards
> spend some time helping people use a BI software
> analyze some data
> get feedback from people and improve existing reports

>>60099535
What do you use for visualizations?

I automated most of my tasks in the last 6 months. Our ticket volume is way down as a result. I barely work 2 hours a day. I work out and stretch in the server room.

>>60097132
I come late, leave early, and do almost nothing in between because everything is scripted.
The joys of being a sysadmin.

>reading old ASTM machine documentation for blood tests
>creating flow on IIB to improve production
>3 weeks of tests to justify the procrastination

>Install adobe reader

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>>60098779
Same, but with just a little less cynicism.

For now

>>60099588
custom ones in D3.JS

First four hours: reply to the questions of clueless business types on the scrum board
Lunch: optional
First half of the afternoon: actually work on code, unless if I have to answer questions from the QA that doesn't speak English or I'm in some meeting for a fucking insane business decision or I get pulled into a meeting that could be a slack question
Last half of lunch: work on code or do whatever I want because the client company isn't in the same country as us. Usually something that our company needs to survive because I'm the only one with initiative.
After work: return to my shithole apartment because I barely get paid more than an intern. If someone is in town from our client company I go out for a free meal, and if it's our product owner I try not to get too drunk or she tries to take advantage of me.

>>60097132
>wake up
>fap
>take a bike ride
>fap
>take call from client
>"there was a minor problem, it will be done tomorrow."
>write some code
>bike ride
>vidya
>fap
>sleep

Get in at 7am.
Check email. Chinese Junior has question which a freshman could have answered.
Surf HackerNews for 15 min while I have coffee.
Start work on requests made by customer.
Tech lead who is supposed to be the liaison with the client never elicits requiremets, thus we have constant conflicting requests.
Have lunch.
Play vita while I'm off for a shit.
Try to get Tech Lead to get clarification.
He's fucked off to play basketball.
Go home.

Boring job. Same shit everyday. Can't complain.

>>60100417
Actually not cynical at all, i fucking love it. If the paycheck was a bit better i'd never even consider leaving. But its fine for a couple more years until i get into a junior sysadmin job and become better paid and lazier

>wake up at 8:45
>wash face, brush teeth, put on adidas tracksuit because i'm fly as fuck
>arrive at work at 9 (i live one block away kek)
>check why over-night onedrive sync didn't work, network adapter on laptop shut down for no reason
>fucking hell
>replace two cameras with new ones (these have IR lights)
>"anon my computer doesn't work"
>fix it
>"anon my computer doesn't work" x23
>consider suicide
>13 pm
>set up new IP phones
>fuck around with VMware server
>go home to get lunch, maybe a nap too, perks of living close to your workplace
>14 pm
>go back and shitpost in 4chan
>18 pm
>get the fuck out of this place

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>>60100417
You wouldn't happen to be in the Dallas area would you? We could use a junior.

>>60101725
>>60100981
hurr durr I replied to the wrong post

>>60101725
Nah socal
Goal is a comfy sysadmin job up in norcal, thays why i dont want to get started as a junior until I move and start to plant my roots. Thanks though

>>60099009
Is C++ is good option or does that tend to be big bux companies?

- create tools for devs get their data into elasticsearch easier
- assist devs with properly formatting their data for elasticsearch
- work with logstash/filebeat/kafka/kibana/grafana/elasticsearch/graphite to find gaps in our monitoring
- work with puppet a bit and do general infrastructure stuff
- build general tools for others to use occasionally

Hoping I'll either get be a Jr. Data Engineer since I like exactly what I am doing at the moment. If not tooling engineer is good too. I just really hope I don't have to do the general "sit in front of zabbix" for 6 months as a Systems Engineer before I can because I really do not like Zabbix. I like programming and that's why I'm liking my current duties, I do a bit of both.

But I'm not going to complain if it's only a few months and I get paid at least the same as my internship. So tired of clocking in/out, can't wait for consistent pay.

>the day starts with a stupid meeting with everybody including guys from unrelated projects because our incompetent boss is pretending to follow the lean way. What used to be 5 min now is 20 min.
>boss assigns tasks to everybody (which most of the time is same as yesterday)
>its anon's turn
>anon has just finished a project and the client has been milked to exhaustion so they are unlikely to request new modifications.
>Anon is tasked with a legacy backend project despite being a mobile developer.
>the guy who did it left years ago and it doesn't even compile
>anon realizes boss has to pretend to have a task for everyone so as to not to look like it has free resources (some other people are overloaded)
>anon spends most of the time doing personal side projects while keeping the backend IDE open.

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>Come in
>Answer other's questions about stories
>Work with React until I realize how much async bullshit we've created and attempt to solve all problems with a clever design scheme
>Realize I just gotta fight through the pain and make it werk
>Finish story and realize there is nothing else to do
>Guys where is our shit
>They won't give us any requirements or necessary documentation
>Try to stare at the db until things make sense
>They don't
>What the fuck who designed this db
>Music bro asks for help with simple shit
>Scared for his job
>Stand up time
>Team marches off and we ask the scrum master if they've given us anything
>Negative
>March back to desk and stare at the db

2nd year CS undergrad. Didn't learn anything from school. No skills, nothing.
How do I get a job?

>>60104934
You don't with that attitude and skill set.

>>60098339
No shit? How does one get into this? Details please?

>>60097132

>Scrum meeting in the morning
>Research and resolve incidents & system defects
>Go to meetings
>Request deployments to environments
>Other misc tasks get thrown in
>Finally, the little bit of time left in my day is for writing code, and reviewing code written by coworkers.

>>60104944
:( Figured that much.

>>60104969
Lay on bed on right side.
Grasp penis in right hand.
Fap.
Post fap fantasy on /b/.
Repeat.

>describe your typical day at your tech/IT related job.

>get in at 0700
>brief at 0730
>execute CTO assigned missions during the day
>usually only 2 or 3 hours of real work
>1 hr lunch
>1430 debrief
>1530 turnover

Router/Switch guy, don't get a ton of taskings.

>Wake up tired as fuck every day no matter what because that's just how it's been all my life
>Arrive at work and shoot the shit with coworkers while I drink my coffee and start figuring out what fires we have to put out today
>Go back to office
>Update end user systems, check results of vulnerability scan, patch said vulnerabilities
>New sysadmin they hired comes to my office and asks me for help with basic shit like configuring software. Very awkward.
>Go make more coffee after he's gone
>Correspond with systems engineer on some updates I've been testing
>Reload some end-user systems that come back in, wipe some hard drives, maybe help someone set up some monitors since they come to my office instead of helpdesk sometimes
>Check accounts and shit on my phone every little while when I have some time
>Make instant coffee after lunch because it's 1pm and we don't have any made that late in the day
>Type up weekly report, send out some emails, if I have some free time study for cert exams
>Wrap up shit at the end of the day to have shit run overnight while I'm gone

tl;dr random IT shit all across the board

I like my job, overall. If I had to answer help desk calls I would probably quit though, that would move my job from "great" to "will kill myself within a week". Did helpdesk before, not going back ever.

also, I'm pretty sure I will be offered a job as a sysadmin soon. I don't think my title would be Junior, but would just be Sysadmin 1. I make about 50k right now in a low cost of living area.

What would you guys ask for? Not sure how much room I have to negotiate, I keep getting told by management that everyone likes me and they constantly get good feedback.

My only regret is that my undergrad degree is fucking useless because I was retarded

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>20 years old
>live with parents
>IT "Intern" at my mom's workplace
>$10.00/hr
>get in at 8:30 because openflex
>play oldschool runescape for 8 hours
>afk runescape while prepping new systems occasionally
>take breaks every 1-2 hrs for a quick trouble call of "help, scary yellow bar at top of Microsoft Office!"
>part time Uni for IT degree

Life is gud

I have no idea. I took a job for a huge pay raise, but the old guy I work with who has been there for years literally won't let me even sit on on some work.

I'm mildly competent at IT things. The fat fuck won't even let me learn the nuances of the systems. I secretly believe he won't show me around because he thinks he's training his replacement. DUDE, we're expanding like mad, thats why they hired me use me dammit!

I just sit in a cube and answer a half a dozen calls that amount to restarting IE. for 8 hours a day.

Even if something horrible goes wrong, it's all virtual desktops.

>>60106850
here

>>60107071
that sounds fucking cancerous, I want to die thinking about that

>>60097132
>Sit in a technical assitance center with thousands of clients.
>Literally not trained to do anything.
>when some calls simply say "we are looking into it"
>Play video games the entire night
I have to say, if it wasn't for the drug tests, this would be the job of champions.

>>60106850
Damn you americans with your money. That job would be about 30k€/y in my euroland even with hi-sec no-offshoring clients.

If the boss was ok I'd ask how much the other tru sysadmins make and ask that with a little bonus. If the boss was shit I'd check Job postings with pay mentioned and add a random "veterancy" amount.

>>60107088
My only concern is that Dude is going to be out sick or something, the network goes down, and i won't have a password to a router or something.

>go to work
>true personality would only get exploited
>fake personality engage!
>take orders from fake supervisor
>begin collaborating with colleagues using fake personality

I only show my true personality to my close friends.
Office environment === full fakery engage!

>>60107120
As a consequence of the type of work this is (or a benefit, depending how you view it), we effectively only hire American citizens. I think it generally results in people being paid more than you would in a similar cost of living area

I mean I'm sure it doesn't beat whatever big companies in California offer or something, but why anyone would want to live in the shithole of California I have no idea

Again you can rent a nice house with 3 bedrooms and a big yard here for like $900 a month, the cost of living is so amazingly nice

Software Developer
>Listen to solutions problems
>First-level support from Marketing Department
>Data migration from one campus management to another
>Both campus management sucks
>Stationed right in front of my head department's table everyday because no chair and table provided
>Student enrollment gone wrong
>Finance cares about only their own process, still uses UBS, complain about double work
>Head of Academic Departments want to bomb the new campus management system due to "muh timetable planning" which changes every semester for every intake and complains about how easy to do it in Excel

I work in geek squad kill me
>Get to work at scheduled time
>fuck around for an hour while guy I'm with prints jobs for the day
>listen to music in the van on the way to a job
>put the tv on the wall or set up the system or whatever it is
>repeat 3-4 times max, usually <2
>go back to store and get asked to fix demos and shit around the store
>can't do it cause no parts/cables ever
>sit around till it's time to go home
This counts right.

Level 1 service desk analyst

>wake up 10 mins before I have to leave
>rockup to work tired as fuk
>Sign in to the phone system
>Go through ticket queue and update any outstanding tickets
>Turn it off and on again all day
>Drive home in peak hour traffic
>Vidya till late
>Rinse and repeat

>>60097132
bad reddit show

>>60107380
Dude that's better than working Geek Squad where I did.

I was an "Advanced Repair Agent", one of the in-store guys in the back. I had to do so much bullshit not part of my job description, such as work the goddamn front counter because they NEVER staffed enough consultation people. I also had to constantly take phone calls and make phone calls because our single correspondence person only worked part time.

The actual repair work wasn't cancer, but doing everything outside of my job description was fucking awful.

>>60107416
I would love to do some actual repair work for customers. BUT we don't fucking do that we just send it to fucking to Toronto or some shit.

Most of my on site troubleshooting or repair is shit like "why can't I get my old ass amplifier and sound system to work with my brand new TV" "What do you mean it won't work you guys are supposed to make it work! What I gotta buy something what the fuck"

People are fucking stupid.

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>>60097132
>security analyst/network administrator
>work tickets
>firewall, IDS/IPS, log management, WCF stuff
>join conference calls for maintences and device changes
>work tickets

>>60107576
What kind of qualifications does that sort of job want?

When my contract's up in 2 years I'll have had 4 years experience working in a NOC servicing 80k people, with experience on Sidewinders, Palo Altos, Bluecoats, ASAs, and all sorts of Cisco devices.
What certs/degree should I pursue?

>code
> get up , go to the qt girl on next desk
> massage her
>go back to coding
....
>they like the massage and ask more of it

>>60107605
That would be enough to land you a job as a level 1 tech where I am, I can't tell you where that is though.

>>60107637
Gaaah, but I understand.
What's the pay like? City? Federal or nah?
I also have TS/SCI clearance.

Thanks a lot, by the way. I'm trying to weigh my options when it comes to re-enlistment or finding a civilian job.

>>60107656
Being ex military I would think you could do better than the starting pay where I am to be honest with you, especially with the clearance

>go to office right before standup
>attend standup
>browse the web
>go to lunch
>go to office gym
>do a bit of work
>leave

>>60097157
the feels; same here, job gets bored.
At least by now I'm still doing some sysadmin stuff.

>>60107677
You're probably right. I know there are $80k+ positions here in CO, or six-figure positions out in the DC/Maryland/Virginia area.
Those jobs come with the rigamarole of dealing with classified systems and information, but maybe it's worth it.

I suppose I could build up cash for a few years and then try to buy a house and find a more comfy low-key IT admin job, like at a school district.

>>60107656
Look on USAjobs.gov for civilian tech stuff to support green suits

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Tier 1 technical support for a large web host.
>Get there an hour early
>Work on unofficial replacement for our escalation tracker and/or screw with a copy of our 10-year-old ticketing system
>Shitpost to sysadmin friend/web transfer agent friend/customer service friend over IM
>Clock in
>Call: "No ma'am, WordPress is a CMS, not an email client"
>Request a break
>Call: "No sir, I can't fix your theme, please contact its developer."
>Call: "Push this button in cPanel. Problem solved."
>Get 15min break
>Call: "Okay sir, please hold while I get you in touch with my supervisor"
>Call: "Please check the tutorial on our site for this, sir."
>Supervisor asks why I haven't responded to more email tickets when all 30 tickets in the queue have someone working on them
>Call: "Oh, your domain is suspended. A different department handles that. Please hold while I transfer you."
>Go for 30min lunch
>Request final break
>Call: "Sir, please download this remote viewing program so I can show you where you messed up the email settings in Outlook."
>Call: "No sir, we do not have a backup of all 100GB of your mail."
>Call: "Thanks for holding. I have escalated this to Tier 2. The didn't find anything. Please hold while they keep working on it."
>Call: "I couldn't fix it in 10 minutes so here's a ticket number. We'll email you when were done."
>15min break
>Call: "No sir, I can't transfer you to Tier 4. We don't have that many tiers, and only Tier 1 accepts phone calls or transfers."
>Clock out
>Work on projects at desk
>Shitpost over IM
>Go home
>Maybe watch netflix
>Sleep

>>60097132
>meetings
>dealing with pajeet
>fixing shit
>no time for the fun features
>dealing with computer illiterates
>more meetings

It's fun

>>60097432

same. my fantasy sports teams have improved a lot since I became a professional code monkey. I also work on personal or healthy hobbies that aren't too obviously not work-related, recently stream of consciousness journaling.

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Everybody here cries about IT buy my life is pretty awesome:
>Work from home (75% on pijamas)
>Pretty stoned
>70% time basically free
>Earning much more than all my friends (muh suit job)
You have to be pretty normie to not enjoy the finest things of life.

>>60103123

c++ is usually high tech or aerospace shit around here. whatever javascript web dev is at exciting startup types, java is maintaining old shit, c# is easy and comfy.

>>60107863

not a coincidence that stoner states have all the IT companies

>>60105123
Can confirm
100% effectiveness
Hopes and dreams are now immortal

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>>60107380
>>60107416

Hello fellow agents. CA here, but my store treats me like an ARA all the time because there are only 3 competent people here.

>Go to work at scheduled time
>Huge line because neither the agents nor the blue shirts utilize the scheduler to set up reservations for people
>Clock in and deal with
>"I got a pop-up saying my PC is infected and to call Microsoft so I called the number and now they want $600 to unlock my PC"
>"I was just browsing Craig's List and definitely not watching porn and now my machine won't stop giving me pop-ups!"
>"My machine updated to Windows 10 WITHOUT ME WANTING IT TO a year ago and now it's running slow"
>"Do you guys fix broken phone screens? What do you mean, you don't!?"
>"Do you guys fix cracked screen TVs? What do you mean it wouldn't be worth fixing!? This Westinghouse cost me $400 just three years ago!"
>"Hey anon, we need you to blue wave the PC department even though there's a huge line here."
>"I want a fast PC! Woah, woah, woah, I don't need no 'Ess Ess Dee'. I'm not a GAYMUR!"
>"Is this $180 piece of shit with an Intel Atom, 2gb of RAM and 32gb EMMC storage good? No? I'm gonna buy this one!"
>"Why does my laptop keep telling me it has no storage available? It came with 32GB!"

My last day is tomorrow. Already have a better job lined up and I can't fucking wait to be out of here.

>Get to work at 07:30
>Open reddit
>Browse reddit until 10:30
>Go get lunch
>lunch from 10:30-12:00
>Browse reddit until 15:00
>Head home
>$32 an hour

There's some work and youtube in between those hours, but I hate my life and the pay is shit.

>>60108092

use the reddit time for self-improvement. cultivate some hobbies. learn some new programming languages or systems or whatever you want even if it's not really related to your work. your employer won't find out and i've never heard of anyone getting in trouble for this.

>Go to banks HQ downtown for 8AM
>Grab coffee and bullshit with the infosec guys for like an hour and half until they say they should start working
>Float around building talking to other people I'm cool with. Finally hit my desk in my office at 11 sometimes 12.
>Delegate some tasks to the code monkeys.
>Do my shit too but I'm usually done in about an hour and go to a meeting if there is one.
>Lunchbreak until 1 with this one dude from IT. We talk about video games and shit.
>We get back and carve out an hour or so playing CS:GO, Overwatch or Rocketleague together. Whatever we're in the mood for.
>Do a bit more work and do menial office labor such as small manager bullshit and making sure we have all the supplies we need.
>Basically dick around until 5 and dip.
>130,000 a year.

I don't think I've worked a real day in the past 4 years.

>sit around all night waiting for calls
>maybe 3 people call; 1hr of total work at max
>shitpost, read books, study, work on personal projects during the down time

Knowledge positions are pretty comfy.

software engineering manager

"typical" depends on the day of the week

is it monday or tuesday? MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS and lest i forget MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS

wednesday? shit is starting to heat up let's try and motivate my team also MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS

thursday? either shit's hitting the fan or everything is going better than expected. i might live to see next week. also MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS

friday? fuck all is going on time to catch up on our ticket queue. the one day of the week where i never have a meeting.

>>60108560
Sounds like my boss aka ICT Head.

>>60108560
How do you manage to go through probation or salary increment if it keeps up?

The academic I'm in currently doesn't have any career plans.

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Level 2 service desk analyst
>Arrive at work between 10 minutes early and 20 minutes late
>Make pot of coffee
>Check emails
>Send emails complaining about our monitoring not working properly again
>Send emails about how shit our clients sonicwalls have been set up
>Start taking phone calls and handling tickets
>Decently challenging junior sys admin shit
>Only been there for 5 months but feel like I'm pulling my own weight really well
Need to get off the help desk bros, I missed out on a junior sys admin job and settled for this one instead, working for one companies IT dept would be living the dream for me, I could actually script, automate and keep everything fully patched instead of just fighting fires all day

>>60097132

> spend weeks writing up inane docs for a new product
> dick around super slowly, go through inane meetings reviewing said docs
> break down tasks, estimate time to complete
> hand over to management
> literally spend three weeks doing nothing but LAN gaming and fucking off to lunch for hours every day
> management comes back, "looks good, but we need it in two months instead of six. If you complete it, we'll give you $10k to spend on office improvements".
> eh, I like a challenge
> busting ass every fucking day
> twelve hour days, six days a week toward the end
> at work until 2 A.M.
> stumble into work (lived across the street) at 9:30, late for the dumb morning meeting our P.M. insists on
> P.M. calls on me to tell everyone EXACTLY WHAT I FUCKING TOLD HIM YESTERDAY
> JESUS CHRIST, WHAT DOES THIS FUCKING RETARD EVEN DO HERE???
> deliver project ON FUCKING TIME
> continue to hear how upset P.M. is that I "disrespected him" by oversleeping after working UNTIL 2 FUCKING A.M.
> annual review comes up
> get docked for sloppy check-in comments on 10 P.M. of final days
> she's the one that insisted on the godawful architecture where we literally had to check in and automatically deploy in order to test ANY permutation of the code

Fucking cunts. At least we got an office pool table out of it. I proceeded to play about two hours of pool every fucking day and come in late as fuck until they laid me off.

Never, ever stick your neck out for your employer. Be ready to bolt at any moment.

>Wake up at 6:45, walk from bedroom into office
>Answer any urgent emails, queue up some scripts, then nap on couch until 9am or so
>Review logs, troubleshoot errors, generate reports etc. for a couple of hours
>Work is generally done by noon, so then I just crank the volume on my phone/workstation so I can hear it while I go do whatever around the house
>earn $60k and consider a second job / some other profitable hobby for extra cash, but ultimately spend most free time napping instead

>>60108776
>but ultimately spend most free time napping instead

You should probably try to get some regular cardio in.

>>60108824
>walk from bedroom into office
close enough

>>60108092
Wait. How do you post here if you only browse Reddit.
>>60108012
I have nothing to say, but I like your meatball picture.

I'm about to start my IT job on Monday. I have no idea what the fuck I'm actually doing, something about transferring clients data securely to the company or something. It's at one of the top 10 wealth management businesses and they are paying me 45k a year to sit at a desk. Sounds great considering I've been working at restaurants for awhile before this. I have a degree in mathematics so it's not like this is what I wanted to do, but it sounds pretty relaxing and stress free. Pretty excited to start and see if I like doing it, if not I'll just work for a year or two and move to the finance sector to actually use my degree.

>>60097930
>get underling to make me coffee

Is this normal? Even the CEO and the upper management in my company get their own coffee from the machine.

>>60109191
> Is this normal?
Not really, but in some companies it is. Don't work there.

I stay at home all day shitposting on /g/

>wake up at 9:30
>be at work at 10
>def-con 1 problems workers started at 5:30am
>Problems all fixed in under 30 minutes
>11:15 half hour lunch with work proximity associate (chemical Engineer)
>Bash co-workers all lunch
>Noon Boss leaves for 2 hour lunch
>Reddit
>Slashdot
>Digg
>Reddit
>DSL Report
>9to5Google
>Google News
>Reddit
>1pm Shop Controller asks me to to menial task
>1:15 Finish scripting task
>2:00-3:00 Watch task run listen to podcasts
>4:00 Shoot shit with work proximity associate on shop floor
>5:30 leave 30 minutes early because everyone went home at 4:30

>>60107399

Lived this life 10a-7p schedule made it better for me

>take train full of chinks and pakis to work
>get Starbucks because antifa keeps breaking their windows
>check emails
>pretend to care some bitch's 300MB excel sheet doesn't open in under a second
>explain to the new guy why they can't use hotmail to log onto their computer
>laugh when the database team takes down the network running queries or moving files during business hours
>browse aliexpress until I go home

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>>60097132
What do I need to get a basic-bitch IT job lads.

I just draw gay ass diagrams process flows and shit like that, Im a junior so.. then theres the pros that do the real work like the devs and the senior analysts that do the documentation and assurance project shit. I just do nothin really...... i want to getout

>>60097132
>09:00 - 13:00: JavaScript
>13:00 - 13:30: Lunch and contemplating killing myself
>13:30 - 17:30: Javascript

>>60109580
Do you have a degree or any certs?

Do you know what you're doing at all?

>>60097132

IT Admin for a SMB with around 100 users
>Drink Coffee
>shitpost here
>read news
>reset a password
>create user account for new person that nobody knew about
>restart your fucking computer and call me back
>shitpost
> rinse and repeat

I manage myself, $24 an hour, can't complain whatsoever. Nearing my 5 year mark so hopefully I can go anywhere I want soon. Spin up VM's and shit when i'm bored and learn something new.

>get to work at 10 or 10:30
>read the news
>lurk 4chan
>write some Python or C for 1 hour
>lunch (1 hour, during work hours)
>more 4chan
>if there's a lot to do, program some more for up to 4 hours; otherwise 4chan
>4chan rest of the day
>go home 4:30 or 6:30 depending on accumulated overtime
It's alright. If 4chan and watching videos gets boring I work on private projects or do uni work. Still debating whether I should install some games like Arx Libertatis on the work computer.

>>60097157
Motherfucker that happened to me too!

I just want to fulfil requirements (´･ω･`)

>>60107711
>>60111995
I asked for more pay, they gave me a promotion
Sure I've doubled my money since I started working, but I've pretty much halved my time doing actual work
Clients are the dumbest motherfuckers on the face of this planet

>>60099535
You guys are useful, but I'd hate to have your job.

>>60109111
Well, sometimes I go home.

>wake up at 5:30AM, start reading my emails to catch up on whatever work my colleagues in China/India/Germany/Ireland have done overnight
>start getting ready for my day in the hotel
>by 7:30AM I'm at breakfast, responding to email on my iPhone/iPad
>by 8:30AM I'm at the client, if the meetings didn't start at 8AM
>work on the various incidents my customer has opened along with other requests (technical/functional questions). follow up with people. make sure the project team and SAP keep any issues moving back and forth
>work until 6PM
>go back to the hotel
>get dinner
>back to hotel
>answer some more emails, work on powerpoints
>go to bed
And that's a typical day for a Support Engineer at SAP. Well, at least some of us. (Some roles are less travel, some roles are more.)

>>60108727
>10k for the office

I'd have declined. Fuck that. I have other shit I want to do, I don't want to spend all my time at the office.

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Software dev in the Health industry.

This image here is an example of an old Health data transmission format, called HL7 v2.3.

They're working on deprecating it and subsequent versions with a whole new standard called FHIR, which is based on modern technologies like XML, REST and JSON.

I get in, have a 15 minute stand up meeting, and then jump between various Health-based standards, web services and Message Processing Engines. There's also coffee with colleagues once or twice, plus maybe a couple 30-min or 2 hour meetings dispersed throughout.

It's not bad desu, but I fucking hate javascript and web dev. Oh, and working on Windows.

>>60112168
>SAP
Oh you poor bastard.

>>60112223
It's not as bad as people say, there's a huge amount of job security because companies need people with the knowledge, and the money is fucking excellent. I'm pretty happy working at SAP between the work culture, the benefits, and the paycheck.

>walk into office half an hour late every day without fail for the last 2 years
>have coffee with boss and talk shit
>check emails and remote into servers clicking random buttons and seeing what happens, hoping it fixes the problem
>fuck around with cool hardware in the office doing whatever dumb shit we can be bothered with
>recently been plugging LEDs into old UPS batteries and placing bets on how long they'll last
>occasionally buy broken shit from greys online and try to get it working and sell it / fuck around with it
>setup the odd website / server / workstation when I really have to

>>60112215
Well, it's not too bad.

I imagine it's not supposed to be read by humans, so it's fine. Just machines.

>>60112240
Yeah, i've heard the money is REALLY good.

As an IT guy, i see a lot of the employees here are SAP dudes. I don't know why but the only thing i see these guys do is fill checkboxes and input ramdom numbers. SAP might be the weirdest software related job i've ever seen.

>>60112311
To give you an idea, I joined SAP straight out of college.

$64,000 a year starting.
$100K/yr now (age 26).

Not in San Francisco or NYC or some area where all your money goes to rent either.

As far as what people do, it's odd. Saying SAP is like saying you "work with servers". You have your typical network/IT people, you have people who manage projects, you have the people that technically manage/upgrade the systems (BASIS), you have database experts, you have functional experts who know how to configure/work with functional areas like finance, materials management, etc... you don't *know* SAP, you know some areas of SAP, but SAP is a big ocean of knowledge. And with all of the acquisitions, new products, in memory stuff, etc. it's just getting bigger and bigger.

> Drag myself out of bed, fighting the urge to press snooze on all alarms.
> Do the morning thing
> Get to work
> Stare at screen & try to figure out what I was working on previous day.
> Remember I was busy fixing workspace... again.
> Resident autist had made a bunch of changes, breaking half the program... again.
> "Works here."
> As usual it mostly involves hardcoded paths to locations on his HD and a few undocumented DB changes.
> No sense in talking, he'll just get ultra defensive followed by rage mode.
> Wonder why nobody, like his parents, haven't killed him yet.
> Take a deep breath and remember they hired me to fix his shit.

Not getting paid enough though.

>>60112392
That's a fucking paycheck right there.

Also i think one of the reasons why SAP is a really good job money wise is that the market is not saturated like it happens with other jobs

When was the last time anybody told you "I work with SAP" or "I might start studing (insert SAP software here)"

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Basically I'm the irreplaceable beard guy in my company

>>60112584
the graveyard is full of irreplaceable people

>>60112580
>When was the last time anybody told you "I work with SAP" or "I might start studing (insert SAP software here)"
I work with SAP so wrong person to ask, lol. But yeah, it's not the biggest industry. Growing like hell though.

A lot of the major partners/consulting companies have massively ramped up their hiring out of college and university outreach/education to get younger people involved.

Also the median age of people working on SAP is pretty high. Most work on something else, then get sucked into SAP when their company starts implementing it or does some sort of upgrade project. Then you're in the world forever.

I went to a customer in February of 2016 across the atlantic ocean (in Europe). A customer contact and one of the people we brought over realized that they attended the same class relating to SAP software in 1993. Nineteen ninety three. And they're STILL both working on SAP software (one at SAP, one at a customer using SAP).

>>60112584
>irreplaceable
Lol

>>60112584
where did you get this comic of LITERALLY ME?

>>60097132

>Computer Programmer III
>$145k (super low COL because I'm in the middle of a non California desert wasteland, two hours from anywhere)
>Work for a large defense contractor
>Work with high level architecture for surveillance recon drone (can't really say too much)
>It's pretty hush-hush military shit. Had to get extensively background checked. Think of every feature you would want for intelligence gathering for a drone, and I promise we've got it.

>75% of the time I'm writing FUCKING UML (class diagrams, iteration sequences, requirements tractability matrix)
>15% of the time I'm writing code, all C. Half of this is unit tests.
>10% of the time I'm documenting where my time is being spent. This is not a joke.

Everything little thing I do has to have been documented, tested, and have a pull ticket submitted before it can so much as think of being part of the project. Then it goes through peer review, and unit test coverage. Then it gets pulled in. It's very bureaucratic.

Money is seriously good. I spend maybe 20k a year living in this ho-dunk desert town. After taxes and living expensive I put like 80K into my savings account. I figure when I reach 500k or 1Mil I can quit and live of the interest if I really want to.

>>60113301

And I forgot

>26 y/o
>Masters in CS
>Like 80% of the town population is men, mostly working for the same company I do

Interned at a large internet security company

>Steal parking spot right outside door
>Walk in at 9:00, make coffee with half a pack of carnations hot chocolate in it
>Look at email
>Start messaging friends
>Send email to boss about certain task I've completed, with an open ended questions at the end
>He replys "Thanks"
>12:00
>Go for lunch, then play pool with the other interns
>13:10, check email again, open /g/ and /ck/on phone
>Go around chatting with other interns
>Check email again
>Look at Perl script I was asked to modify, of course it has no documentation or comments and was written by a guy who left
>Leave at 17:00

Somehow wind up with the second best evaluation and an offer to return

>>60097132
>Disable alarm
>Open door with key
>Turn on PC
>Login
>Fire up Outlook and our Ticket System
>Check whats new
>Coffee.jpg
>Cigarete.png
>Start working on daily tasks
>Start working on Ticktes
>Coffeebreak.vector
>Continue working on Tickets
>Setup a new server with vmware
>Install some shit
>Cigarette.bat
>Yell at customer because he "deleted Google... again"
>Get home
>Smoke weed
>Turn on PC
>Shitpost on /g/

>>60113698
sounds like a wonderful life. I'll probably be doing the same once I graduate

>>60107711
>>60098779
>>60100417
>>60100981
all i have is a bachelors in IT from FSU and a 4 month internship at a major city's county IT department. how easy is it to get a help desk job i graduate in a week and havent applied for anything yet HELP

>>60099446
>>60098824
>>60099697
>>60107105
>>60107399
>>60107790
>>60108657
>>60111200
>>60113698

same question as >>60115454
I worked with switches and VMware during the internship worked a lot with active directory and took some networking&security courses, will that be enough to get me a job

>>60115454
Should be easy. Make sure you apply for an in-house it gig so youre not the equivalent of a pajeet phone monkey, and make sure youre extremely approachable during an interview. They look for people skills more nowadays for helpdesk since that filters out the autists.

>>60115667
I have great people skills I'm not worried about that aspect of the interview, do you know what technical stuff they would ask or expect of me?

>>60115643

You're already overqualified for entry level IT.
The issue is getting past HR if you don't have fancy certs and stuff.

Recently I was asked by one of our recruiters
>What is this SAP and why should I care that this guy has experience with it?
They were recruiting for a database related position.
We're a German company.

What I'm saying is:
Connections are just as important as actual skill.
Get some Xing or LinkedIn.

>>60115699
Really depends on the job. If its normal helpdesk then they just expect the basics of how to diagnose issues. At least for my place they simply expected to know simple IT and were eager to teach me the rest just so that i do it their way.

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>get to work
>have to listen to the annoying women i sit by talk about random stuff nobody cares about
>shit post on /g/ for a little bit
>code some PHP, Javascript, Powershell shit, etc
>lunch i get some tacos since theres a taco place nearby
>come back to work
>code some more
>get off work
>go home
>shit post on /g/ some more

>>60113301
I have to go up for a Top Secret clearance soon for a promotion I'm getting.

Any advice? I guess they don't NSA your ass too hard if you're posting on 4chan.

I can confirm this poster isn't shitting you about pay on government contracts though. I'm getting paid 2x what you'd get paid to do my current job in the private sector. It's insane.

>>60097132
Basic level tech/designated site fixit boy for a school district right now, trying to get certs to get out of this hellhole.

>get in at 730
>YouTube/4chan/maybe play Doom if I feel like it/sleep till 11 for lunch
>do a couple tickets from 12 to 2:45, exaggerate my time and make up issues that didn't happen (nobody can prove it)
>shitpost/play games till 4:30
>go home

>sit at home
>run a botnet
>run a honeypot for "hackers" and scriptmonkeys for god who knows wants this info
>lurk after everything is setup

DELET THIS

>go to work when I feel like it but I need to be there before 10:00 most of the time
>attend daily standup
>listen to people talk about boring nonsense I don't want to hear
>go get some water and a banana
>do some banter with coworkers
>check out whatever deployment I started before leaving the previous day
>check out shift reports from other sites
>check out emails
>copy over the my daily section from my TODO.md file for a new day
>remove finished tasks
>add ones I need to do today
>check status of the sprint
>maybe do some research for whatever I will be doing that day
>possibly get something done
>13:00 lunch time, about 45 minutes to get the food and eat it
>take 15 to just chill, maybe a game of hearthstone
>start work for real this time
>go through all of the tasks in my TODO.md file and do as much as possible before 5pm
>spend the last hour of the day chilling out and talking with coworkers

It's pretty relaxed, I like it.

>>60097132
>I should start at 9
>come at 9:30
>check mails and browse internet for 30 minutes
>do my job for 2 hours
>lunch time
>last 2 hours instead of 1
>2:00, spend half an hour on the internet
>start working
>leave work between 5:00 - 5:30
>sometimes I don't even have work to do so I just spend the morning shitposting on /g/
>get paid more than I wanted
Life as a code monkey is not that bad.

>>60117392
welcome to europe

>>60107656

CCNA and then CCNA sec to be compliant. Sec+ can work instead of CCNA sec but that is just dumb.

If you are not compliant you will not be allowed to touch the equipment.

>>60116155

Do you do drugs? Are you an alcoholic? Are your finances in order?

Those are all that matter.

>>60117634
No, smoked weed a few times back in college, been told that's not a problem as long as you tell them and it's been a few years (was many years ago)

No, I drink, but never any kind of run in with the law, I don't roam around in public while drinking or any of that shit

Defaulted on credit once and accounts were closed and sent to collections, has since been paid off in full

Everyone tells me if it's paid they don't really give a shit

Everyone keeps telling me it's gonna be fine based on what I told them so I'll just roll with it

>>60097132
> arrive whenever the fuck i want
> unpack my stuff, grab some coffee/tea
> open everything up, look a bit at current tasks, read a bit of coding related news
> do some coding/research
> maybe lunch at some point with co workers
> do some more coding/research on architectural issues
> leave when i'm satisfied
with some meetings thrown in, pretty much that. i like it, i have a lot of freedom on how i do my stuff

>>60097132
>Anon, I forgot my password
>Have to run system restore because people don't know how to properly restart a computer
>Malwarebytes scan finds a trojan and 3,276 PUPs
>take an hour and a half for lunch because why the fuck not
>dick around for an hour once I come back
>one of the printers is being a bitch, track it down to the spooler on the domain controller, restart spooler service and life is good
>go home at 3:30

>>60117433
Yeah. I actually found a good company where the people in charge of me don't really give a shit since they do the same.
Last week they spend all the night playing a video game till 6am and took the morning to sleep.

>>60117736

You will be fine. Also don't cheat on your wife.

It's really a matter of being able to bribe you or blackmail you. If you are immune to those things, or at least low risk, it won't matter.

I smoked weed in college as well and it wasn't even a year out before I got my clearance. Just never lie.

>>60107740

I have a six figure job, live in MD work in DC. The 80k in CO would go farther.

>>60097132
>Do random shit
>From putting in new servers to cleaning storeroom
>last year got audited for unclean and unsafe office
>Started my own little project cleaning up the office because the whole office was messy and triggering me out of this solar system
>end up cleaning/organising the storeroom
>it gets messy again within a week

why do i try again?

>>60099535
>>60112083
I had a job very similar to this, It was good until ALL the work dried up so I left.

>>60104969
>Buy a drone
>Attach a camera to it
>Take lots of pictures and post them on the Internet
>Be the photographer for a friend's wedding; hopefully get paid
>Get paid by friends and friends of friends a couple more times
>Be incredibly lucky
>Just about scrape a living wage
You'd be better off with a real job.

>>60107790
That's the most similar job to mine that I've seen so far in this thread, and it's based.
>Show up early
>Wait for sweat to dry because I cycled in and have a medical problem where I sweat too much
>Delete automated tickets about servers having high loads while they were backing up overnight
>Do basically nothing for the rest of the day
>Renew an SSL certificate for a client if they need one, remove frozen emails from the mail queue on a server sometimes, update DNS records
>Be given pointless data entry busy-work to do by boss so I'm not just sitting there staring into space
>Go down to the data centre and lay an RJ45 cable
>Power-cycle a server
>Be permanently worried that they'll fire me because I'm useless
>Be permanently worried that they'll fire me if I cross a line during the endless #banter in the office, like if I called my boss a nigger or something
>Constantly ask colleagues to explain things because I'm still new

>map shit out in visio
>map more shit out in visio
>map even more shit out in visio
>map so much shit out in visio
>map some other shit out in visio please make it stop
>map a bunch of shit out in visio i swear to god i am going to fucking kill myself
>fix some lady's printer
>map another shit out in visio
At least I'm working and they're getting me on other projects the closer mapping shit out gets done. Better than being a neet and I'm learning the layout of how they got shit setup.

wfh sysadmin

>sleep in until whenever or if someone messages or calls me
>fuck around and work on side projects until I feel like working or something interesting happens
>if something interesting happens (meaning someone contacts me) then do that immediately to make it seem like I'm working
>otherwise I work on misc projects, some assigned to me and some of my own choosing
>provision servers, config changes, networking, etc.
>work about 5-10 hours a week
>everyone thinks I work 40
>everyone thinks I'm a wizard and have serious job security because I'm the only one who understands our infrastructure

I do miss being able to leave my work at the office, but nothing beats getting paid to masturbate at your desk (instead of in the bathroom)

>>60099697
I try to keep my automations secret wherever I can. To me they serve two benefits: One, they can turn what would be hours of work into mere seconds + runtime. Two, I burn some sometimes by telling my boss about them, which not only reaffirms competence but shows that I'm going above and beyond by increasing company efficiency! :)

>>60098811
>smart lightbulb
You realize you are working on needless shit for man-children, right? Stop by the front page of the internet some time and get a load of all the redditers worshiping at the piles of lead paint flaking off their bluetooth speaker boxes battery cases and fidget gidgets in a way that fills sane practical people with rage like this is some kind of future horror where everyone is a moron.

>>60098824
I worked in a sales job where our company used some convoluted overpriced software that was obviously made by some scam artist using some cookie-cutter program to do simple shit. It had a super non-intuitive interface that made you click 50 times to do an everyday task. Every month or so there would be some problem with it requiring help. The pajeets (I'm guessing, as a racist) gave my emails and calls the help ticket cop out reply. After a hate-filled rant, I'd usually just figure out a fix for the shit on my own or after looking through a forum of other suckers who's bosses got sold the same shitware.

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>>60097190
>Sit at home and wait for calls.
>Nobody fucking calls.
>Wish I had money.
Fieldnation. Com workmarket.com onforce. Com kohai

>>60117593
I know, I've got an admin account.

>>60118374
Thank you friend

I have no significant other to cheat on anyways

I just wonder who outside of the people I list they will go track down and contact

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A lot of posts here can be summed up as "I don't really do any work but still get paid for some reason lol."

>>60120648
If thats not you, you need to fucking work harder at not working. Working yourself to death for only decent pay is a fucking fools errand.

>>60115643
Experience is key senpai. I only landed this job because i'm in college right now. there are so many companys who are desperate for staff. You need to make a name for yourself there. Most other IT places dont give a fuck if you dont have experience, but some places will give you a chance.

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>roll into work
>start shitting out code
>sometimes consult with colleagues
>leave after 8 hours, or 16 if we're finishing the sprint
Once every two weeks there's also sprint planning and backlog grooming.

>>60097132

work for a major linux distribution

Come in
Get Coffee
Check email
Reply to email
Take a couple of new tickets, do a little troubleshooting, ask them for more info
catch up on youtube
check clock, it's only 10am
work on side project
go to lunch
work on any issues that have actually replied from the morning...probably no replies
take a couple more tickets, rinse, repeat
work on side project some more
go home

>>60124539

believe or or not, I love my job. It's actually interesting and the time I can dedicate to other projects is very generous and pretty low-stress.

*nix (almost exclusively Linux) sysadmin at small ISP. No IT quals, self-taught ex-web-developer. Mix of some hard work and some dumb luck.

>Come in a couple of minutes before nine
>Look at monitoring boards and either fix or acknowledge problems by pestering lazy network engineers
>List package updates for all the servers I look after
>Apply all non-impacting ones, schedule downtime for the others overnight to automatically apply, warn the person on-call (unless it's me (fuck))
>If I'm on email/phone support that week (one out of every 5-6) mutter and grumble for a bit and do that all day until six
>If not, probably working on some internal web system to smooth internal processes over, or provisioning a new webserver for a customer, or replacing ancient systems that are poorly written or not scaling well, or setting up new monitoring...varies a lot
>Support or not, I pretty much just end up either fixing problems or creating new ones with an unholy amalgam of Perl, PHP, and POSIX command-line tools
>Lots of internal web tools and command-line reporting tools in particular
>Quietly automating everything I can in spare moment with the same tools without much of a fuss, I love the idea of making my job easier but realistically what happens is there's just more work to do, boss loves it though
>One, maybe two meetings a week
>Co-workers all very technical and generally pretty cool

Feels good overall man.

>>60122286
>>60120648
Fortunately in IT there's a third way accessible to everyone: working smarter with automation
You'll have fun, you'll make your job easier, and you'll accumulate skills for which every employer is fucking desperate

>>60109327
>Reddit

Fuck off