Master Foo and the Ten Thousand Lines

>>59792157
I am just starting to learn and already you have made the effort worthless.

>>59792190
I am pleased.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Master Foo and the Script Kiddie

A stranger from the land of Woot came to Master Foo as he was eating the morning meal with his students.

“I hear y00 are very l33t,” he said. “Pl33z teach m3 all y00 know.”

Master Foo's students looked at each other, confused by the stranger's barbarous language. Master Foo just smiled and replied: “You wish to learn the Way of Unix?”

“I want to b3 a wizard hax0r,” the stranger replied, “and 0wn ever3one's b0xen.”

“I do not teach that Way,” replied Master Foo.

The stranger grew agitated. “D00d, y00 r nothing but a p0ser,” he said. “If y00 n00 anything, y00 wud t33ch m3.”

“There is a path,” said Master Foo, “that might bring you to wisdom.” The master scribbled an IP address on a piece of paper. “Cracking this box should pose you little difficulty, as its guardians are incompetent. Return and tell me what you find.”

The stranger bowed and left. Master Foo finished his meal.

Days passed, then months. The stranger was forgotten.

Years later, the stranger from the land of Woot returned.

“Damn you!” he said, “I cracked that box, and it was easy like you said. But I got busted by the FBI and thrown in jail.”

“Good,” said Master Foo. “You are ready for the next lesson.” He scribbled an IP address on another piece of paper and handed it to the stranger.

“Are you crazy?” the stranger yelled. “After what I've been through, I'm never going to break into a computer again!”

Master Foo smiled. “Here,” he said, “is the beginning of wisdom.”

On hearing this, the stranger was enlightened.

>>59792157
Yeah but you could always use library for C.

>>59792199
dubs checked.
this is actually what i'm going into. I am trying to learn and get into security.

Ok now I'm hooked. Please proceed

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>>59792646
Wisdom thread

>>59792666
No fuck you and your fucking facebook normalfag memes, let OP dump some fresh content

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>>59792678
but I am the Devil my trips make it so.

In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.
"What are you doing?", asked Minsky.
"I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-tac-toe", Sussman replied.
"Why is the net wired randomly?", asked Minsky.
"I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play", Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes.
"Why do you close your eyes?" Sussman asked his teacher.
"So that the room will be empty."
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.

>>59792754
I don't get ir.

One evening, Master Foo and Nubi attended a gathering of programmers who had met to learn from each other. One of the programmers asked Nubi to what school he and his master belonged. Upon being told they were followers of the Great Way of Unix, the programmer grew scornful.

“The command-line tools of Unix are crude and backward,” he scoffed. “Modern, properly designed operating systems do everything through a graphical user interface.”

Master Foo said nothing, but pointed at the moon. A nearby dog began to bark at the master's hand.

“I don't understand you!” said the programmer.

Master Foo remained silent, and pointed at an image of the Buddha. Then he pointed at a window.

“What are you trying to tell me?” asked the programmer.

Master Foo pointed at the programmer's head. Then he pointed at a rock.

“Why can't you make yourself clear?” demanded the programmer.

Master Foo frowned thoughtfully, tapped the programmer twice on the nose, and dropped him in a nearby trashcan.

As the programmer was attempting to extricate himself from the garbage, the dog wandered over and piddled on him.

At that moment, the programmer achieved enlightenment.

>>59792768
It is pointless when people expect an AI to learn arbitrary tasks without any basic guidelines.

>>59792881
At that moment, I achieved enlightenment.

>>59792157
False, IO redirection is quite easy in C using standard libraries.

>>59792754
>>59792754
This is Zen. An explanation would not work in a useful. The Zen teacher says or does something at the right time to cause realization.

Don't think on it, let it flow though your mind and continue with life as normal.

>>59792881
That's the lesson at all. The reason wiring is a mask for preconceptions. It is like shutting your eyes and pretending they're gone. It goes deeper.

>>59792949
>>59792881

The finger is not the moon.

>Master Foo and the Shell Tools

A Unix novice came to Master Foo and said: “I am confused. Is it not the Unix way that every program should concentrate on one thing and do it well?”

Master Foo nodded.

The novice continued: “Isn't it also the Unix way that the wheel should not be reinvented?”

Master Foo nodded again.

“Why, then, are there several tools with similar capabilities in text processing: sed, awk and Perl? With which one can I best practice the Unix way?”

Master Foo asked the novice: “If you have a text file, what tool would you use to produce a copy with a few words in it replaced by strings of your choosing?”

The novice frowned and said: “Perl's regexps would be excessive for so simple a task. I do not know awk, and I have been writing sed scripts in the last few weeks. As I have some experience with sed, at the moment I would prefer it. But if the job only needed to be done once rather than repeatedly, a text editor would suffice.”

Master Foo nodded and replied: “When you are hungry, eat; when you are thirsty, drink; when you are tired, sleep.”

Upon hearing this, the novice was enlightened.

>Master Foo and the Unix Zealot

A Unix zealot, having heard that Master Foo was wise in the Great Way, came to him for instruction. Master Foo said to him:

“When the Patriarch Thompson invented Unix, he did not understand it. Then he gained in understanding, and no longer invented it.”

“When the Patriarch McIlroy invented the pipe, he knew that it would transform software, but did not know that it would transform mind.”

“When the Patriarch Ritchie invented C, he condemned programmers to a thousand hells of buffer overruns, heap corruption, and stale-pointer bugs.”

“Truly, the Patriarchs were blind and foolish!”

The zealot was greatly angered by the Master's words.

“These enlightened ones,” he protested, “gave us the Great Way of Unix. Surely, if we mock them we will lose merit and be reborn as beasts or MCSEs.”

“Is your code ever completely without stain and flaw?” demanded Master Foo.

“No,” admitted the zealot, “no man's is.”

“The wisdom of the Patriarchs” said Master Foo, “was that they knew they were fools.”

Upon hearing this, the zealot was enlightened.

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This is the best thread on /g/ in a long time.

what colour does a boiling egg sound like?

Shanaynay

upon hearing this, You were enlightened

>>59792157
there's truth to that actually.

https://aadrake.com/command-line-tools-can-be-235x-faster-than-your-hadoop-cluster.html

>As I was browsing the web and catching up on some sites I visit periodically, I found a cool article from Tom Hayden about using Amazon Elastic Map Reduce (EMR) and mrjob in order to compute some statistics on win/loss ratios for chess games he downloaded from the millionbase archive, and generally have fun with EMR.
>Since the data volume was only about 1.75GB containing around 2 million chess games, I was skeptical of using Hadoop for the task, but I can understand his goal of learning and having fun with mrjob and EMR.
>Since the problem is basically just to look at the result lines of each file and aggregate the different results, it seems ideally suited to stream processing with shell commands.
>I tried this out, and for the same amount of data I was able to use my laptop to get the results in about 12 seconds (processing speed of about 270MB/sec), while the Hadoop processing took about 26 minutes (processing speed of about 1.14MB/sec).

>>59792157
>Is it he who writes the ten thousand lines, or he who, perceiving the emptiness of the task, gains merit by not coding
this. i study CS not CE

>>59792157
you are the One who will turn the /g/ shitposting hellhole into an actual interesting technology board

>>59793594
even in shitposting there is always something to learn - even if it is only to recognize shitposting.

>>59793607
I am enlightened

>>59792915

There is no IO redirection in standard C libraries faggot, it is POSIX.

>>59793673
>impliying POSIX ain't the future
Even M$ start to produce a POSIX/C compliant compiler.

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>>59792778

unix is computing equivalent of mud huts

>>59793673
it's implemented in windows as well

When is Master Foo going to murder some of these plebs and steal their storage rings?

>>59792778
>and dropped him in a nearby trashcan.

What was the size of it?

>>59793751

Sure it is, but it is not ANSI standard, it's POSIX.

>Master Foo Discourses on the Unix-Nature

A student said to Master Foo: “We are told that the firm called Novell holds true dominion over Unix.”

Master Foo nodded.

The student continued, “Yet we are also told that the firm called OpenGroup also holds true dominion over Unix.”

Master Foo nodded.

“How can this be?” asked the student.

Master Foo replied:

“Novell indeed has dominion over the code of Unix, but the code of Unix is not Unix. OpenGroup indeed has dominion over the name of Unix, but the name of Unix is not Unix.”

“What, then, is the Unix-nature?” asked the student.

Master Foo replied:

“Not code. Not name. Not mind. Not things. Always changing, yet never changing.”

“The Unix-nature is simple and empty. Because it is simple and empty, it is more powerful than a typhoon.”

“Moving in accordance with the law of nature, it unfolds inexorably in the minds of programmers, assimilating designs to its own nature. All software that would compete with it must become like to it; empty, empty, profoundly empty, perfectly void, hail!”

Upon hearing this, the student was enlightened.

>Master Foo and the MCSE

Once, a famous Windows system administrator came to Master Foo and asked him for instruction: “I have heard that you are a powerful Unix wizard. Let us trade secrets, that we may both gain thereby.”

Master Foo said: “It is good that you seek wisdom. But in the Way of Unix, there are no secrets.”

The administrator looked puzzled at this. “But it is said that you are a great Unix guru who knows all the innermost mysteries. As do I in Windows; I am an MCSE, and I have many other certifications of knowledge not common in the world. I know even the most obscure registry entries by heart. I can tell you everything about the Windows API, yes, even secrets those of Redmond have half-forgotten. What is the arcane lore that gives you your power?”

Master Foo said: “I have none. Nothing is hidden, nothing is revealed.”

Growing angry, the administrator said “Very well, if you hold no secrets, then tell me: what do I have to know to become as powerful in the Unix way as you?”

Master Foo said: “A man who mistakes secrets for knowledge is like a man who, seeking light, hugs a candle so closely that he smothers it and burns his hand.”

Upon hearing this, the administrator was enlightened.

>Master Foo and the Programming Prodigy

There was a time when rumors began to reach Master Foo and his students of a prodigiously gifted programmer, a young man who wandered the length and breadth of the land performing mighty feats of coding and humiliating all who dared set their skill against his.

Eventually this prodigy came to visit Master Foo, who received him politely and offered him tea. The Prodigy accepted with equal politeness and explained the motive for his visit.

“I have come to you,” he said “seeking a code and design review of my latest project. For it is of surpassing complexity, and I do not have peers capable of understanding it. Only an acknowledged master such as yourself (and here the Prodigy bowed deeply) can have the discernment required.”

Master Foo bowed politely in return and began examining the Prodigy's code. After some time he raised his eyes from the screen. “This code is at first sight very impressive,” he said. “It is elegant in design, utilizing original algorithms of great ingenuity, and appears to be implemented in a craftsmanlike way which minimizes the possibility of errors.”

The Prodigy looked very pleased at this praise, but Master Foo continued: “However, I detect one significant flaw.”

“Flaw?” the Prodigy said. “What flaw?”

“This code is difficult to read,” said Master Foo. “It is only thinly commented, its invariants are not specified, and I see no narrative description of its architecture or internal data structures anywhere. These problems will seriously impede your cooperation with other programmers.”

>>59793952

The Prodigy drew himself up haughtily. “I do not seek the cooperation of other programmers,” he said. “Every time I thought I had found one who might match me in skill I have been disappointed. Thus, I work alone.”

“But even the hacker who works alone,” said Master Foo, “collaborates with others, and must constantly communicate clearly to them, lest his work become confused and lost.”

“Of what others do you speak?” the Prodigy demanded.

Master Foo said: “All your future selves.”

Upon hearing this, the Prodigy was enlightened.

>Master Foo and the Hardware Designer

On one occasion, as Master Foo was traveling to a conference with a few of his senior disciples, he was accosted by a hardware designer.

The hardware designer said: “It is rumored that you are a great programmer. How many lines of code do you write per year?”

Master Foo replied with a question: “How many square inches of silicon do you lay out per year?”

“Why...we hardware designers never measure our work in that way,” the man said.

“And why not?” Master Foo inquired.

“If we did so,” the hardware designer replied, “we would be tempted to design chips so large that they cannot be fabricated - and, if they were fabricated, their overwhelming complexity would make it be impossible to generate proper test vectors for them.”

Master Foo smiled, and bowed to the hardware designer.

In that moment, the hardware designer achieved enlightenment.

>>59793904
just use sizeof(trashcan)

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>>59794010
>sizeof()

>>59792157
nubi ran the one line shell script.

Due to error in nested escaping inside a subshell combined with a filename with a space and a newline, entire /usr was deleted

Master Foo said: "Aww shit nigga"

Upon hearing this, the programmer was enlightened.

>Master Foo and the Methodologist

When Master Foo and his student Nubi journeyed among the sacred sites, it was the Master's custom in the evenings to offer public instruction to Unix neophytes of the towns and villages in which they stopped for the night.
On one such occasion, a methodologist was among those who gathered to listen.
“If you do not repeatedly profile your code for hot spots while tuning, you will be like a fisherman who casts his net in an empty lake,” said Master Foo.
“Is it not, then, also true,” said the methodology consultant, “that if you do not continually measure your productivity while managing resources, you will be like a fisherman who casts his net in an empty lake?”
“I once came upon a fisherman who just at that moment let his net fall in the lake on which his boat was floating,” said Master Foo. “He scrabbled around in the bottom of his boat for quite a while looking for it.”
“But,” said the methodologist, “if he had dropped his net in the lake, why was he looking in the boat?”
“Because he could not swim,” replied Master Foo.
Upon hearing this, the methodologist was enlightened.

>Master Foo and the Recruiter

A technical recruiter, having discovered that that the ways of Unix hackers were strange to him, sought an audience with Master Foo to learn more about the Way. Master Foo met the recruiter in the HR offices of a large firm.

The recruiter said, “I have observed that Unix hackers scowl or become annoyed when I ask them how many years of experience they have in a new programming language. Why is this so?”

Master Foo stood, and began to pace across the office floor. The recruiter was puzzled, and asked “What are you doing?”

“I am learning to walk,” replied Master Foo.

“I saw you walk through that door” the recruiter exclaimed, “and you are not stumbling over your own feet. Obviously you already know how to walk.”

“Yes, but this floor is new to me.” replied Master Foo.

Upon hearing this, the recruiter was enlightened.

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>>59792157
==Master Foo and Lennart Poettering==

When Master Foo and his freeloader Nubi were busy doing nothing and acting all Zen like preaching the UNIX Philosophy, Lennart Poettering, Linux programmer deluxe and progenitor of such projects as Pulseaudio, Avahi, and systemd showed up.

"Dude your stuff is literally obsolete and deprecated," said the great programmer of modern Freedesktop softwares, "Why are you still here? Literally nobody cares about your stupid UNIX Philosophy any more."
The Master, in his usual nonchalance, whisked his beard at length, and finally uttered, "Why have you come to seek me, my child?"
"Lol dat unwarranted self-importance though," replied Poettering quickly.
"What have you against the UNIX Philosophy?" asked the Master, unfazed by the burn.
"For the umpteenth time, old man," said Poettering, rather tiredly, "the UNIX Philosophy is a pathetic myth. Even the people who wrote the original UNIX gave up on it. Only incompetent manchildren still cling to it nowadays as a crutch. UNIX simplicity only results in complex implementations like SysVinit."
"But is it not your goal as well to simplify with systemd?" rebuffed the Master.
"Uh, yeah, duh? And I've succeeded where you haven't. Literally when's the last time you coded anything? Do you even code?"
Numi, with a red face, jumped in, "The Master asks the quest-"
"I'll ask when the fuck I want you convenient plot device," retorted Poettering with a smirk.
"It is not my job to code now, my child, I have achieved enlight-"
"LOL so you're just as much a hack as that RMS guy who wrote a text editor and is now lecturing everybody? What a loser."
"Ah, but then is it not true that-"

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>>59794351
But it was too late, Poettering the Relevant Programmer has already gone off to write his next project: a modern replacement of all Linux filesystems.

"A-a-at least we still have autists on the Internet repeating our Zen Koan stories!" Numi desperately tried to console his old Master, as he lifted his toga and stretched his boipussi wide, "D-d-don't think about that jerk and pipe your enlightened anger into me!!!!"

That night Master Foo did what he has been doing for years every night: passing his simple genetic data stream via his meat pipe into the gaping receptacle of Rumi.

The piping doesn't even feel of anything by now with the years' of abuse. Even Master Foo, a simple man with a simple mind, was visibly shaken that night. For years he tried to justify his mental retardation as an enlightened beauty, an intentional simplicity, when the reality is that, as he realised that night, he's just an irrelevant hack who has nothing but autistic faggots like Rumi as followers.

"Look upon the moon, Rumi!" said Master Foo with a tear in his eye, "Does the moon try to provide the Earth with warmth? Does the moon try to provide Men with practical illumination? No. The Moon does one thing, and it does it well. It is elegant, it shines, but does not blind; it can be round, and it can be curvy; it is adaptable, and flexible. Rumi, the UNIX Philoso-"

"OH GOD I'M CUMMING FROM YOUR DIIIICCKKK" shouted Rumi, as his boipussi involuntarily contracted as you do when you cum.

==============

Two bodies were found the next day in a dark alleyway. One of a young computer science drop-out, and one of an aged mathematician who went to the MIT in the 60s. The cause of death was heart failure on both parts.

And at that moment, the reader was enlightened.

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>>59794351
>>59794363
>cuckchan

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>>59794351
>>59794363

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>>59794351
>>59794363

>>59794363
>>59794351
>even in shitposting there is always something to learn - even if it is only to recognize shitposting.

I am enlightened.

>>59793673
You stupid fucking shit, the C standard library has core headers like stdio, which is needed for IO redirection.

>>59794351
>>59794363
Here's your (you)

>>59794393
Wait why did you edit out the gay blowjob?

>>59794351
>when you are too frustrated because you couldn't come up with good koan.

>>59794569
Wait, do you have that version?

>Master Foo and the Old Hand

An experienced Unix programmer, hearing of Master Foo's wisdom, came to him for guidance. Approaching the Master, he bowed three times and said:

“Master Foo, I am gravely troubled. In my youth, those who followed the Great Way of Unix used software that was simple and unaffected, like ed and mailx. Today, they use vim and mutt. Tomorrow I fear they will use KMail and Evolution, and Unix will have become like Windows — bloated and covered over with GUIs.”

Master Foo said: “But what software do you use when you want to draw a poster?”

The programmer replied: “I...have never done that. But I am sure that I could use LaTeX or pic to accomplish it without GUIs, in the proper Unix way.”

Master Foo then said: “Which one will reach the other side of the river: The one who dreams of a raft, or the one that hitchhikes to the next bridge?”

Upon hearing this, the programmer was enlightened.

>>59794614
Please be clear. I am not sure I fully understand you.

>>59794980
I'm not a programmer and I don't have any professional IT certification whatsoever and even I understand this
Step the fuck up

>>59794187
Nice one.

>Master Foo Discourses on Returning to Windows

A student said: “We have learned that Unix is not just an operating system, but also a style of approaching problems.”

Master Foo nodded in agreement.

The student continued: “Then, the Great Way of Unix can be applied on other operating systems?”

Master Foo sat silent for a moment, then said: “In every operating system there is a path to the Great Way, if only we can find it.”

The student continued: “What, then, of Windows? It is preinstalled on most computers, and though its tools are mostly far inferior, they are easy to use for beginners. Surely, Windows users could benefit from the Unix philosophy.”

Master Foo nodded again.

The student said: “How, then, are those enlightened in the Unix Way to return to the Windows world?”

Master Foo said: “To return to Windows, you have but to boot it up.”

The student said, growing agitated: “Master Foo, if it is so easy, why are there so many monolithic and broken software packages for Windows? Elegant software should also be possible with a GUI and fancy colors, but there is little evidence that this occurs. What becomes of an enlighted one who returns to Windows?”

Master Foo: “A broken mirror never reflects again; fallen flowers never go back to the old branches.”

Upon hearing this, all present were enlightened.

>>59795262
I don't get it.

Let me tell you a UDP joke

>>59795541
>>59795554
nice

>>59795541
Once you've made the decision to leave windows for something you like better it is highly unlikely that you turn back to it since you wanted to depart from it and suddenly start working on improving windows programs.
There is no need - you've already learned to use programs the Unix way and thus don't need beginner friendly and powerful software on it anymore.

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http://www.team.net/mjb/hawg.html

>>59795742
Fuck off facebook shitstain

>Master Foo Discourses on the Two Paths

Master Foo instructed his students:

“There is a line of dharma teaching, exemplified by the Patriarch McIlroy's mantra ‘Do one thing well’, which emphasizes that software partakes of the Unix way when it has simple and consistent behavior, with properties that can be readily modeled by the mind of the user and used by other programs.”

“But there is another line of dharma teaching, exemplified by the Patriarch Thompson's great mantra ‘When in doubt, use brute force’, and various sutras on the value of getting 90% of cases right now, rather than 100% later, which emphasizes robustness and simplicity of implementation.”

“Now tell me: which programs have the Unix nature?”

After a silence, Nubi observed:

“Master, these teachings may conflict.”

“A simple implementation is likely to lack logic for edge cases, such as resource exhaustion, or failure to close a race window, or a timeout during an uncompleted transaction.”

“When such edge cases occur, the behavior of the software will become irregular and difficult. Surely this is not the Way of Unix?”

Master Foo nodded in agreement.

“On the other hand, it is well known that fancy algorithms are brittle. Further, each attempt to cover an edge case tends to interact with both the program's central algorithms and the code covering other edge cases.”

“Thus, attempts to cover all edge cases in advance, guaranteeing ‘simplicity of description’, may in fact produce code that is overcomplicated and brittle or which, plagued by bugs, never ships at all. Surely this is not the Way of Unix?”

Master Foo nodded in agreement.

“What, then, is the proper dharma path?” asked Nubi.

The master spoke:

“When the eagle flies, does it forget that its feet have touched the ground? When the tiger lands upon its prey, does it forget its moment in the air? Three pounds of VAX!”

On hearing this, Nubi was enlightened.

>>59793072
I got chills

>shell scripts

please stop this.

ten thousand lines of good code is more consistent and less retarded than a collection of shitty shell scripts.

build system using """UNIX""" cron/shell/perl bullshit
or
Jenkins CI ?

I guarantee, unless you're a literal faggot, you're going to prefer jenkins over a special snowflake unix bullshit system.

same goes for shit like systemd.
LSB init bullshit is inconsistent and nightmarish to do right which is why systemd was made, a fucking massive init binary that turns services into configurables over shellscript aids.

>>59796182
it was written in 2003

>>59794980
then you are not yet ready to be enlightened

>>59796182
this is why you fail.

>>59796216
wrong, it's why you will always be stuck in the past.

no one wants autismo systems that only the sysadmin faggot can change/fix

that's why containers are a thing, why virtual machines took off, why there is a whole new software industry dedicated to build pipelines.

your unix philosophy is aids.
it's great for one off things, personal usage, etc; but for actual production systems, shell scripts should be considered unmaintainable trash that should be replaced as soon as possible.

>>59796253
this is why you fail.

>>59793966
I like this one

>>59796291
t. never had a job dealing with massive scale

>>59796302
C-can I like it too?

>>59796182
>>59796253
Embarrassing.

>>59792881
They're wild, not raised.

>Master Foo and the Nervous Novice

There was a novice who learned much at the Master's feet, but felt something to be missing. After meditating on his doubts for some time, he found the courage to approach Master Foo about his problem.

“Master Foo,” he asked “why do Unix users not employ antivirus programs? And defragmentors? And malware cleaners?”

Master Foo smiled, and said “When your house is well constructed, there is no need to add pillars to keep the roof in place.”

The novice replied “Would it not be better to use these things anyway, just to be certain?”

Master Foo reached for a nearby ball of string, and began wrapping it around the novice's feet.

“What are you doing?” the novice asked in surprise.

Master Foo replied simply: “Tying your shoes.”

Upon hearing this, the novice was enlightened.

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>>59794351
>>59794363

>>59792190
That's not the case. Learning to program is important. But learning what not to program is equally important.

>>59796253
And the students, flustered, cast their hands in the air. "We're sick of doing this cumbersome process! Master, we want a replacement that automates this! Fuck Unix! We're going with agile!"

The Master sat down without a word, pouring himself some tea.

http://seclists.org/oss-sec/2017/q1/275

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>>59796602
>SECURITY-321 / CVE-2017-2599
>An insufficient permission check allowed users with the permission to create new items (e.g. jobs) to overwrite existing items they don't have access to, and access some of their data

>>59796602
wow, stop the presses, there are bugs in software!

do you actually have an argument or are you just going to link CVEs?

>>59796658
And thus the students returned and learned proper system administration in a few fucking days instead of letting Papa Monolithic Fuckwit to feed them cancer in the form of shitty default configurations.
Looking at both Jenkins and MongoDB here.
https://snyk.io/blog/mongodb-hack-and-secure-defaults/

>>59796703
And this is why you fail to become enlightened.
Perhaps you should refresh your memory:
>>59793072

>>59794980
It's a roundabout form of "use the right tool for the job", the Unix programmer is being dogmatic when he insists that he'd make a poster with LaTeX while the master knows that letting people pick the tools they know how to work with is more pragmatic

>>59796745
that literally has nothing to do with anything I'm saying.

maybe get an actual job and stop thinking your leet for managing your >1000 employee shit infrastructure.

>>59796733
setting up a proper container/vm clusters doesn't preclude the need to do proper configuration, it's just that such setups are easier to consistently configure, but you wouldn't know that because you're some "muh unix" brainlet

fuckwit

>>59796843
>that literally has nothing to do with anything I'm saying.

this is why you fail.

>>59796843
Cancer.

>>59792238
Learning security is learning computers. You have to know how a system is constructed before you can know how to break it, and therefore how to defend it from being broken.

Is this the best thread on /g/ right now?

>>59795987
Reminds me of an interesting article I read titled Worse Is Better

>>59797070
maybe, but it's not like that's much of an accomplishment

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>>59796456

>Master Foo and the End User

On another occasion when Master Foo gave public instruction, an end user, having heard tales of the Master's wisdom, came to him for guidance.

He bowed three times to Master Foo. “I wish to learn the Great Way of Unix,” he said “but the command line confuses me.”

Some of the onlooking neophytes began to mock the end user, calling him “clueless” and saying that the Way of Unix is only for those of discipline and intelligence.

The Master held up a hand for silence, and called the most obstreperous of the neophytes who had mocked forward, to where he and the end user sat.

“Tell me,” he asked the neophyte, “of the code you have written and the works of design you have uttered.”

The neophyte began to stammer out a reply, but fell silent.

Master Foo turned to the end-user. “Tell me,” he inquired, “why do you seek the Way?”

“I am discontent with the software I see around me,” the end user replied. “It neither performs reliably nor pleases the eye and hand. Having heard that the Unix way, though difficult, is superior, I seek to cast aside all snares and delusions.”

“And what do you do in the world,” asked Master Foo, “that you must strive with software?”

“I am a builder,” the end user replied, “Many of the houses of this town were made under my chop.”

Master Foo turned back to the neophyte. “The housecat may mock the tiger,” said the master, “but doing so will not make his purr into a roar.”

Upon hearing this, the neophyte was enlightened.

An Anon called Master Foo a cuck.

Master Foo fucked the Anon's internet boyfriend and said: "You are the cuck now."

Upon hearing this, the Anon was enlightened.

The Tao is the yin and the yang. It is the good and the evil, it is everything and yet it is nothing, it is the beginning and the end.

The Tao was there at the kernel compile, and it will be there when the kernel panics.

>>59794187
Genuinely enlightening. I will forward this to the next recruiter.

One day, a man visited Master Foo.

"Master Foo, all this mass surveillance, datamining and advertising has left me in despair. What can I do to secure my privacy?" the man asked.

Master Foo replied: "There is nothing for you to do. All is botnet."

The man was puzzled. "But what about the open source software I've heard about that respects my freedoms?"

"Botnet," replied Master Foo.

"That can't be. The source code can be audited, someone can--"

"Botnet," Master Foo interjected.

"Then what should I do? There must be some way out of this," the man pleaded.

Master Foo smiled and said: "There is." He then pulled out a handgun and shot himself in the head.

Upon witnessing this, the man was enlightened.

toasting in ebin bread

>>59793988
javascript

A neophyte saw Master Foo at a computer store. He told the Master that it was cool to meet him in person, but that he did not wish to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

Master Foo said: "Like you are doing right now?"

The neophyte was taken aback, and all he could say was: "Huh?" However, Master Foo kept cutting him off and going: "Huh? Huh? Huh?" and closing his hand shut in front of his face. The neophyte walked away and continued his shopping, and heard Master Foo chuckle as he walked away. When the neophyte went to pay for his purchases up front he saw Master Foo trying to walk out the doors with fifteen or so Thinkpads in his cart without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and said: "Sir, you need to pay for those first." At first Master Foo kept pretending to be retarded, but eventually turned back and brought them to the counter.

When the girl took one of the Thinkpads and started scanning it multiple times, Master Foo stopped her and asked her if the scanner was using free software, "to prevent the botnettings." Master Foo then turned around and winked at the neophyte. The neophyte was unsure if that was even a word. After the girl scanned each Thinkpad and started to say the price, Master Foo kept interjecting her really loudly.

At that moment the neophyte became enlightened.

>>59793966
What does "others" and "future selves" mean?

>>59797880
the same thing

>>59797900
Don't get it.

>>59797880
I guess it means writing clear and commented code so he (his future selves) can make sense of it later.

>>59797915
I'm afraid you might be mentally challenged. Please consult a doctor.

>>59794187
>>59795095
>>59797671
This doesn't really fit. Some teams want an expert in some languages, or want someone to start and make progress right away. So even if someone has many years of experience in one language, the team wants someone to start right away in another language and doesn't have time to let the person learn it. They simply aren't a good fit.
Another example is an expert Java programmer and the position calls for high experience in C++/C. You think people want to take a risk on whether he'll learn it successfully in time, or simply hire an expert in C++/C?
I guarantee you, if someone forwards this to a recruiter, the recruiter will immediately think the person is an autist and auto-delete their resume.

>>59797930
>>59797900
>>59798002
Oh, haha. That was a good one (after you understand).

>>59798007
go back and read it again - you missed one very important word.

>>59797393
付师傅和笨人

别的次,付师傅公共的给课的时候一个笨人谁听过师傅的智慧的听说来请师傅帮助他。

他磕头了三次 "我想学习阉人道"他说"却黑箱子弄乱我啊"

这个看新皈依者之一些人嘲笑笨人,叫他"没有线索的" 还说阉人道只是对有纪律还有智力的人。

师傅举手了,让最麻烦的新皈依者去笨人的旁边。

"那说"师傅问了"多少源代码你写了"

新皈依者试一试了,但是不能回答。

付师傅对笨人看面说"说"他要知道"为什么找新皈依者?"

"我不惜选看不好的软件"

笨人说了。"它不行好,还不漂亮。听说阉人道我觉得虽然难比较好。我要懂"

"你作什么工作啊?"付师傅问了"为什么问这个问题啊?"

"我是建筑工人"打回答了"在这个村有不少家我建了"

然后付师傅对新皈依者"小猫儿可能麻烦老虎"他说了"却做这样不使有机会喵喵叫声成吼叫声"

听这个句子新皈依者成了开明锝

>>59798007
>doesn't have time to let the person learn it.
How? They would hire a code monkey who know the language instead of a skilled coder? It's a short term vision. A company like that will die very easily

>>59798039
Fu master and stupid people

Other times, to pay the master of the public to the class when a stupid who heard the wisdom of the master heard to ask the master to help him.

He kowted three times "I want to study the eunuch" he said, "but the black box mess me ah"

Some people who look at the new converts are ridiculing and stupid, calling him "no clue" and that the eunuchs are only those who have discipline and intelligence.

Master raised his hand, so that the most troublesome new conversion to the stupid side.

"That said" Master asked "how many source code you wrote"

The new keeper tried, but could not answer.

Fu said, "Why do you find a new convertor?"

"I do not hesitate to choose bad software"

Stupid people said. "It's not good, it's not pretty." I'm going to understand that "

"What do you do for you?" Asked the teacher, "Why did you ask this question?"

"I am a construction worker" to play "There are a lot of people in this village I built"

And then pay the master to the new keeper "kittens may be troubled tiger" he said, "but do so do not have the opportunity to meow meher into roar"

Listen to this sentence the new convertible became enlightened technetium

>>59798039
There came a day when Master Foo walked with his disciples in a city. They passed many people, and RMaster Foo would state "They are /g/, they are the masses. They are many, and yet they are one. They are quick to judge, and their wrath is terrible." Then Master Foo and his disciples came across a man painting a mural consisting of strange moon-like hieroglyphs. Master Foo studied the man's work for a time, and then turned to his disciples.

"Weeaboo," he said.

We need a master Foo version of the GNU/Linux pasta

>>59798007
>an expert Java programmer and the position calls for high experience in C++/C
If you actually know how to design software well and havent just been shitting out Java design patterns your entire life, you would be able to make the move to C++ relatively easily.
I would rather have a well rounded programmer learning C++ than a shitter who has been writing garbage C++ for the last 2 years.

>>59798129
"[...]Master interjected him for a moment.[...]"

>>59798152
Also its no question that an "expert C++ programmer" is better than a non-expert, seeing as expert pretty much means good in every important aspect.
But I know people who have technically been writing Python for a few years and their code is shit, and I know some very disciplined programmers who usually write in languages like OCaml that would be able to write very good Python code without 2 years of experience.
Perhaps C++ is also an exception given its enormous complexity

>>59798060
>He kowted three times "I want to study the eunuch" he said, "but the black box mess me ah"

kek. This is UNIX in a nutshell

>>59797876
Underrated

>>59798188
>C++ is also an exception
No. It changes nothing.

>>59797915
>>59798002
I tough it meant like, other prodigies that might come after him.

>>59798577
lol no

>>59797876
Kek well done

>>59792199
>Return and tell me what you find.

Stopped reading there.

>Master Foo and the text file

One afternoon Master Foo sat with his disciples in a field near a town. Nearby townspeople started to gather around them to listen to the Master's teachings.

One of them brought forth a long text file and asked the Master how to properly edit it to contain foo instead of bar.

"Once there was a man", the Master began, "who knew all about the teachings of the Vim. With few keypresses he could navigate many thousands of lines, find and replace words, sentences and lines at will. He was so efficient that he never pressed more than 10 keys to finish all his edits in a text file."

"There also was another man who was an expert at Emacs. Such were his abilities that he used foot pedals and two assistants to activate key combinations that many a disciple has never even heard of. Instead of merely editing text files he extended the functionality of his editor from merely being a replacement for a functional operating system to being a fully developed A.I. that would edit his files for him."

The disciples paused for a while. Nubi then raised his voice and said: "Master, which man was using the best editor?"

Master Foo smiled, started his computer, and edited the file in Nano.

>>59799180
>not doing

sed -ie 's/bar/foo/g' file.txt

The true master of the sword knows when to leave it sheathed.

>>59799270
Upon reading this, the poster was enlightened.

>>59797876
10/10, best master foo one yet.

>>59799270
>not \bbar\b

Nubi had a serious argument with someone on the internet once. He never left his room for days, barely slept and was typing angry posts non-stop. That's what Master Foo found him at when he came to check upon hearing rumors.

"Master, how do I make those fools listen to me!?" Nubi pleaded his teacher.

Master fell silent for a moment, looking at Nubi and his computer, then exclaimed:

"Only an idiot would argue with letters on the screen!" and broke keyboard in half over Nubi's head.

At that moment, Nubi achieved enlightenment.

>>59794363
>>59794351

>>59799180
not doing

 perl -pi -e 's/bar/foo/g' FILE 

>>59801235
well at least perl has a better fucking regexp language than the ex abortion that is sed.

~~~~~~~~ Master Foo and Lennart Poettering Redux ~~~~~~~~
Lennart returned home from Master Foo's funeral. He's been hiding behind a tree but it was unnecessary, there were no people other than the workers. Lennart wanted to shout at some old programmers but was afraid to try that with the workers. They could beat him up.
He took his laptop and went to bed. He wanted to work, but also watch porn maybe.
He took off his pants and started his daily relaxation ritual. In another terminal he sshed into his machine at work. Something was wrong. There was no usual banner telling him how many people tweeted about him. There was just the command line. He wrote a command absentmindedly:

$ whoami
god

Well, at least that was right. He tried:

$ journalctl

to see what was going on with his system. He gasped with surprise and immediately went soft at the messages shown in the terminal emulator:

ksh: journalctl: not found
You have new mail in /var/mail/god

Lennart executed mail with shaky hand, already suspecting the worst. The mail was simple:
>openbsd
>installed on your computer
>it is enlightened
Lennart Poettering did not achieve enlightment that night. An aneurysm killed him. He was found in the most embarassing position.

>>59801289
jesus.

that's horrible. I'd have killed myself if I saw that too.

>>59796182
For every Jenkins build done there are four make threads running.

>>59793484
Try that again with 100 TB of data. That's about the low end of big data analysis

>>59801790
Yeah that example is somewhat stupid. I don't know whether shell utilities are faster or slower at proper big data sizes, but in this case, event the article author says
>I was skeptical of using Hadoop for the task, but I can understand his goal of learning and having fun with mrjob and EMR
And yet everyone keeps shilling it as a "l0l they're so dumb with their tools, they should use l33t *nix CLI and be enlightened" - I'm not just talking about this thread: I've seen it several times already.

>>59801951
*nix tools in pure C would always be faster than any clusterfuck BigData tool.
Stay mad faggots.

>Toilets carrer

>>59802019
I have literally never touched Big Data but I would have assumed they may do some complex optimisation or something?

If they don't do any of that then pure C is definitely faster, no dispute there.

>>59793424
true, but how old are these koans?

>>59802019
Once you're working with petabytes of data, you're limited by IO, not CPU. Your pure C tools is going to spend 99% of its time in IO wait for the hard drive to read the data off the disk and for you to swap out hard drives in your stack of millions of hard drives left to process.

The only way to do big data is with a ton of machines with a ton of drives doing IO in parallel. It doesn't really matter what language you use for the code.

>>59802131
esr's site says 2003 but I get the feeling that's when he transcribed them rather than when they were written.

>>59796253
>has trouble with faulty programs and deficient unix-like OSes that don't provide a clean and simple way to monitor and manage the state and initialization order of daemons
>blames a design approach that is not followed by said programs in the slightest
you probably think GNU is the essence of the unix philosophy

>>59802150
WHAT IS RAID

>>59802248
BABY DON'T HURT ME

>>59802216
>defending bullshit like mkdir seaphores and other shell script cruft

just fuck off.
systemd won.
ansible, puppet, etc won.

unix is dead and for good reason.

>>59802275
Fuck off pajeet. You're not welcome here, retard.

>>59792666
>random
>sort

>>59802529
t. brainlet who is afraid of proper init systems and configuration management.

>>59802563
t. faggot shill. Take your reptilian brain out of /g/

>>59794505
stdio has nothing with IO redirection to do.

>>59792915
It wasn't just about implementing the pipeline construction itself, baka. It was about implementing all the work that the pipeline would do, including the programs executed.

>>59802529
are you triggered that some ops faggot can download some random playbook from ansible galaxy and basically replace you?

lmao.

>>59802591
>>59802563
Samefag. Kek, you're really retarded. Go back to /r/eddit where you belong.

>>59802248
Are you going to raid together 100k 1TB HDDs?

>>59802620
>no argument

sorry, but you're being left behind.
I bet you don't even know about kubes :^)

>>59802563
I'll take the bait: I'm not afraid of runit or OpenRC, hence, I am in fact not afraid of proper init systems and configuration management.

>>59802658
Kill yourself, reptilian :^)

>>59802699
>runit
>OpenRC
>literally only meme distros use it because it's too shit for proper systems
>proper init

ok kid.

>>59794110
Kek

>>59798129
So make it, you literal retard.

>>59798096
>Weeaboo
It's Chinese, doe.

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>>59792666

>>59803547
Thus you were enlightened

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>>59802275
>systemd
>ansible, puppet, etc
>unix is dead
>implying unix and systemd/botnet control daemons have anything to do with each other

>>59802732
i installed openrc on debian's rolling release version while they were having that huge discussion on what to replace sysvinit with

i don't know if they're still maintaining openrc packages anymore but it worked fine there, and i'd reckon debian is as "proper" as they come while still using the linux kernel

>don't use C for something that isn't its strength
Oh gee thanks.
Shell scripts and C programming have very little overlap. One is slow and one is fast. One handles granular control in a terse way very well does it very poorly.

>>59801951
>I don't know whether shell utilities are faster or slower
It all depends on the overhead you're accepting. Most big data solutions have a lot of overhead. I find it's generally for programmer convenience.
Any properly adapted native code solution will be faster. But it may be more work.

>>59796253
>shell scripts should be considered unmaintainable trash
A lot of people miss why I think. In a system that uses them its woefully difficult to catch bugs if you don't know the invalid output/input before/after the script gets its hands on it. They're very difficult to see through and don't have all the safety languages like C have (yes people consider C insecure but compared to shell scripts/scripting it's very safe)
It applies to languages like python too but there's more tools to aid you there. Go is something worth looking into for the best of both worlds here.

>>59792157

If what you say is true, the Haskell and the Glasgow could be dangerous...

>>59804770

On guard. I'll let you try my functional style.

>>59798999
Toppest of keks

>>59793904
Bit-buckets, like /dev/null, are always as big as they need to be.

http://www.catb.org/esr/writings/unix-koans/ten-thousand.html

>>59794110
nice

>>59796182
>preferring to write ten thousand lines of code when twelve would have sufficed
>not t h i n k i n g o u t o f t h e b o x
kys

>>59792768
The machine still has preconceptions of how to play, but they were chosen at random.

The first time I ever used Java... I learned the language, found the critical design flaw in the new multimillion dollar Java system, and fixed it in time for the make-or-break demo for my company's main client. Elapsed time? 2 weeks.

How...? I was a senior software engineer with over 25 years of experience using many different languages on many different platforms. I didn't need to learn how to analyze a problem. I just had to figure out how to do it using a new (my 20th) programming language and platform.

Really being "a programmer" isn't just about knowing a specific language, system, or framework. It's understanding how to solve a problem using the tools at your disposal. If you're successful, those tools will change many many times in your career. But the core skills, those you carry with you forever.

>>59806561
how's middle school?

>>59792157
Why Are Computer Geeks Always Obsessed With Asian Shit

>>59798039
Goddamn chineselets I swear

l2 moonrunes

>>59806590
>lumping india and the philippines with oriental asia

>>59806624
Where The Fuck Did I Say Anything About The Philipines Or India

>>59792157
>Unix-nature
This meme needs to stop

>>59792157
>bash: syntax error near unexpected token `|'

>>59806561
>I was a senior software engineer with over 25 years of experience
why are you posting on an anime imageboard at 3 in the morning, old man?

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>>59798060
>Listen to this sentence the new convertible became enlightened technetium

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Someone needs to do one on the use of goto.
I could try but i can't write for shit, i'll whip out something later if i find inspiration

>>59807253
Fuck it

>Master Foo And The Forbitten Reserved Word

One day the disciple Nubi had a great doubt and came to Master Foo for help

"Isn't it true that the wrong use of goto lead to illegible code?" asked the Disciple

Master Foo nodded.

The student continued, “We are also told that we should never use it”

Master Foo nodded.

"But Master Foo, if using it is so bad, why was it even invented in the first place, where does the story of goto start?"

                                                     One day the disciple Nubi had a great doubt

>>59807253
>not using COME FROM
Plebeian.

>>59797876
>Master Foo
I think you have mistaken master GNU for him.

Without the c guys Unix guys would have no tools

>>59808158
Without Thog the stonecutter, we would not have developed the idea of houses. Would you rather live in a cave, than in a house built with bricks?

>>59808290
Upon hearing this, Jordan was enlightened.

I am a newfag and can't understand half of it, yet I know this is a golden thread

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>>59792157
I am soo very late to this thread.
I am as a little baby, knowing nothing, stumbling in the darkness of the shell. Still, please accept this gift as a thread theme.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjWEGz67xi8

>>59808158
>>59808290
>>59808669
kek

>>59804348
except they ended up replacing it with systemd because OpenRC is garbage.

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>>59792157

Many moons ago, a traveler approached the Stallman who was meditating in the Mit province

"RMS, how am I supposed to orbit Stacy if I refuse to use Snapshit? I tried to set up an FTP server and teach Stacy to use wget to get my snaps, but I miss most of them because the notifications don't show when $ tail -f fails after a couple days." He said.

Stallman said, "Hacker, stop wasting your time on 3d whores and go maintain some packages."

and the hacker was enlightened at that moment.

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>>59803585

>>59811042
Pooooeeetteeeeerrrriiiiinnngggggg!

>>59811107
>removing the part where he ha sto suck Stallman's [spoiler] pinky[/spoiler]

It's like you aren't enlightened

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>>59807342
I see what you did there, Master Foo

>>59801790

Try getting a 270MB/s internet link.

>>59802248
RAID does not improve random access.

>>59804810
BRING THA MOTHERFUCKIN MONADS

>>59811113
Kek

>>59811107
Reminds me of this: http://tess.oconnor.cx/2005/04/rms

>>59814217
>Try getting a 270MB/s internet link.
The data still needs to come off a disk somewhere, and needs to be synchronized, managed, etc.

Once you've written the framework for that, congratulations, you've reinvented Hadoop.

>>59792949
No the point is that closing your eyes removes the entire room rather than making it empty. Random wiring is like closing its eyes supposedly idk it's dumb

>>59815568
No, the point is that closing your eyes makes the entire room vanish in your mind, but that doesn't mean it's empty.
When you use a random network you can't see any preconceptions, but that doesn't mean they aren't there - they're just random, but they're still preconceptions.

At least that's what I took away from it.

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>>59794363
>two bodies were found the next day in a dark alleyway
>one of a young computer science drop-out, and one of an aged mathematician who went to the MIT in the 60s