>cmd pops up for a split second and disappears

>svchost.exe

File: 1344769828113.jpg (91KB, 394x394px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 394x394px

>disk spins up for no reason

File: 1361765120268.jpg (31KB, 251x251px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 251x251px

>printer starts making noises in middle of the night

>using windows

File: 1489266310854.jpg (21KB, 249x230px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 249x230px

>>59613594
>>59613594
I had this happen on a laptop immediately after discovering tor and the darkweb.

Nuked the system asap.

File: rge.jpg (175KB, 960x960px) Image search: [Google]

175KB, 960x960px

>cat jumps on the computer to look out the window
>computer wobbles

File: 1455073430831.gif (95KB, 315x572px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 315x572px

>ethernet light flashes in the middle of the night

>>59613698
Got this during the day. Even scarier because it's a laser and the lights dim

File: 1459925284650.jpg (33KB, 480x454px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 480x454px

>there is a 0.3 second delay from when you type the key to when it appears on the screen

>windows immediately wakes after putting into standby

File: [HorribleSubs] Stella no Mahou - 07 [720p].mkv_snapshot_06.06_[2016.11.17_23.14.12].jpg (131KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

131KB, 1280x720px

>software update

>>59613900
>windows wakes up a minute after putting it to sleep

File: 1470809095880.jpg (98KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

98KB, 1024x768px

>>59613594
>tv turns its screen on without the powerled going off or being "truly turned on"

File: 1360214673322.jpg (27KB, 278x774px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 278x774px

>leave pc running while i go out
>drives are set to spin down after 10 minutes of inactivity
>when i get back the drives spin up before i touch the computer

File: 14745376-Dramatic-black-and-white-face-of-a-worried-young-man-emerging-from-a-black-background-Stock-Photo.jpg (139KB, 1300x1300px) Image search: [Google]

139KB, 1300x1300px

>computer turns on after I press the power button

File: 1428163328855s.jpg (6KB, 231x218px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 231x218px

>start downloading porn
>plane flies over my house

>leave room for 20+ minutes
>come back in
>immediately see pc waking up before I even sit down in my chair
every time

File: char nod creep.webm (387KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

387KB, 640x360px

>computer turns on at 4 AM to autoupdate and stays on until I get up from bed to turn it off every day.

>log in to Brazzers using credentials from /b/
>cop parks outside apartment building

File: 1444703057989.jpg (55KB, 567x502px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 567x502px

>get home from work
>computer is awake

>>59614982
>get home from the BLM rally
>computer is woke

>put computer to sleep
>get up from desk
>it wakes up the moment I start standing up

File: 1379315399284.jpg (202KB, 708x1000px) Image search: [Google]

202KB, 708x1000px

>>59613594
>computer pings
>2 users connected to VNC server
>only my laptop's supposed to be connected

I fucking shit myself so badly holy shit. Shut down server, check running processes, check event log, check connection log, malwarebytes all 4TB worth of shit, change password on server, lock it down and run it through a SSH tunnel.

pic related

File: 1458721137334.gif (1MB, 300x223px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 300x223px

>finish busting the fattest nut
>police siren outside starts

File: 1427399843548.gif (292KB, 480x270px) Image search: [Google]

292KB, 480x270px

>windows xp
>doing nothing
>pc makes clicking sounds

>modem dials neverland ranch

File: 1458171280185.jpg (14KB, 298x312px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 298x312px

>go to xvideos.com
>internet goes out

File: blow_it_up_ugly_americans[1].gif (939KB, 400x225px) Image search: [Google]

939KB, 400x225px

>hey anon, can you check out my dad's computer
>find open ssh port

No wonder his identity keeps being stolen

>>59613594
Why worry? Solve the problem or continue while not giving a fuck.

>>59613686
Windows does a lot of automatic indexing, logging, pagefile management, etc.

>>59613594
Are you using a pirated windows? It's probably just the loader applying the activation.

> netstat -pant
> ssh session ESTABLISHED
> Chinese source IP

>>59614939
>Dad
"Why is the FBI here?"

>>59613787
>g27 turns on and calibrates itself in the middle of the night

Internet is down - no memes backed up

File: shocking.jpg (66KB, 590x481px) Image search: [Google]

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>>59613594
>mouse cursor start slowly moving on its own

>>59615034
This shit every time

>webcam light turns on randomly

>PS3 TURNS ITSELF ON at 3 am despite previous red light and downloads updates
>Scared.png

>>59615475
>dad's computer
>ssh

Are you sure about that?

>manually restart the computer
>watch BIOS start up as usual
>windows boots up and acts like I just took it out of sleep with all my programs running

how

>leave home
>forget my 4chan open
>don't know if anyone used it

>>59620715
you put it into hibernate

sleep: turns off most hardware, but leaves RAM powered with it's contents intact, allowing for "resuming" where you left off quickly
hibernate: dumps the content of RAM onto disk, then turns off the computer, when starting up again, the RAM dump is copied back into physical RAM, and your session is resumed much like recovering from standby

>>59620715
Hibernate?

>>59620715
>watch BIOS
WHAT YEAR IS THIS?

>mouse randomly jumping spots every once in a while
>Type in notepad in full screen "I know your watching, what's up?"
>Get alert back saying "nothing much, thanks for the porn suggestions"

Dude who ratted me turned out to be pretty fucking chill

>searching porn on sad panda
>hear sirens 5 minutes later

>>59620461
Open port on an unsecured router and windows firewall. His dad had no idea what it was, someone set him up

>>59621023
not him but my mobo is from 2012 and is BIOS-only

>donwload something from the internet
>Have less free storage

File: 1447887381530.jpg (7KB, 231x218px) Image search: [Google]

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>add hundreds of lines of code to program
>it works

>>59621023
>Not wanting to see the energy star logo on every boot

>nothing happens because ram suspension and wifi switch
Feels good desu

File: 1489777651506.png (2MB, 3772x756px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3772x756px

>open cmd.exe
>get bash prompt

File: tenor.gif (131KB, 300x346px) Image search: [Google]

131KB, 300x346px

>Friend asks you to fix their computer
>20 programs open at startup

File: I-Am-honk.png (319KB, 460x460px) Image search: [Google]

319KB, 460x460px

>Turn on computer
>Stuck on BIOS for 10 minutes

File: FB_IMG_1490515951734.jpg (42KB, 680x684px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 680x684px

Good thread

File: after buying seagate.png (6KB, 405x344px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 405x344px

>open a file
>hdd makes a KUHCHUNK sound

File: 1415813433435.gif (3MB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 400x400px

>Remote into home computer at school
>Browse /g/ and /s/
>Come home
>Monitor is on

>>59621929
Thats some monkeys paw shit

>looking at some websites on TOR
>camera light lights up every time I go to THAT site
What does it mean?

>>59623422
Archiving.

File: police-raid.jpg (16KB, 380x249px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 380x249px

>>59623422
It means you'll be on a vacation with your friend Jamal soon, have fun fucko

File: 212.jpg (10KB, 200x160px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 200x160px

>sit down at my desk at work to start the day
>ctrl alt del to wake it up and log in
>"Lock this computer, switch user log off?"

>>59623422
Fucking pedo

>>59623552
>taking this thread seriously
lel

File: struggles.gif (2MB, 615x255px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 615x255px

>icons disappear from taskbar and tray
>slowly reappear one by one
>third party firewall looks like it's off
>start it again

File: FB_IMG_1490686877952.jpg (2KB, 213x38px) Image search: [Google]

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>>59623566
>taking me seriously

>>59614407
Was it already on?

>>59621826
>windows
>ssh

File: Angery_henchman.png (214KB, 420x490px) Image search: [Google]

214KB, 420x490px

>set wallpaper to an attractive lady
>someone wants to use the computer

>that feel when you browse 4chan at work and then someone walks in and you scroll down to hide the boobs and you see a dick and you scroll down and you see gay sex and you scroll down and you see two men cuddling and "why don't you have a boyfriend" and you scroll down and see some disgusting anime CP with women with dicks and then you try to scroll further and you're at the bottom of the page and when you minimize the window there is your anime wallpaper you set by accident

>>59624040
I know this feel except at home when friends are staying over and they dont understand that nothing on 4chan is anything they havent seen before, and feel the need to say WHOA LOL WTF WAS THAT and force me to scroll back and show them it. They aren't reacting with disgust or surprise towards me, just what's on the page. It gets really annoying.

>>59624131
>you must be 18 or over to browse this site

>>59624152
No thats the thing, we are all ~23 years old. But somehow even images of a cock just grabs that one friend's attention and he just HAS to see what it was that was on my screen. I just scroll the catalog and thats when he sees it. So I make sure to change tabs when he comes in or else I'm gonna get spammed with that shit.

>>59615672
Did you shit -pant?

>>59613594
At least it was a good presentation.

>>59613594
>put computer to sleep at night
>come back and i'm logged out

>burn computer to hide evidence
>it's sitting on my desk the next morning completely intact

>>59623422
smile sweetly for your mugshot

File: 1471035877902.jpg (22KB, 460x276px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 460x276px

>>59615533

>a lot of (((automatic indexing))), (((logging))), (((pagefile management))), etc.

File: Systemd_components.svg.png (37KB, 440x248px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 440x248px

>>59625076
Sounds like (((systemd)))

>>59618734
I had this with my shitty chink mouse

File: 1490733448338.jpg (21KB, 480x405px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 480x405px

>PC turns on randomly in the middle of the night

>>59624245
>somehow even images of a cock just grabs that one friend's attention
kek

File: 1474850746181.jpg (44KB, 780x859px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 780x859px

>boot computer
>big red secure boot failed padlock flashes for a split second

File: worriedlaughter.png (301KB, 520x678px) Image search: [Google]

301KB, 520x678px

>Glasswire: DNS address changed

File: 1470598584469.jpg (175KB, 960x960px) Image search: [Google]

175KB, 960x960px

>get home
>keyboard is in odd position that implies someone used it while i was gone

>ROOT: 22 denied 5832 times on 80.143.67.229
>ROOT: 22 denied 5833 times on 80.143.67.229
>ROOT: 22 denied 5834 times on 80.143.67.229

>>59616408
>get home from work
>router has been moved slightly
Happened to a friend working in China

File: Screenshot_62.png (39KB, 123x128px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 123x128px

MotherBoard speaker beeps once every couple of days randomly

>>59626344
change your battery

>>59621929
>when something you know shouldn't work actually works
>spend two hours staring at block of code trying to figure out why it works

>>59623422
ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

>>59620786
>not taking a 360 degree photo of your room before leaving every morning to see if anything changed

>computer in Faraday cage
>friend messages me on facebook

File: 1490457788691.gif (2MB, 800x533px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 800x533px

Type ls and theres nothing there

>leave laptop for a few minutes
>come back at exactly the same moment display turns off

File: tiresome.png (643KB, 1022x731px) Image search: [Google]

643KB, 1022x731px

>search own IP address
>geolocated to the Philippines

File: raw.gif (1007KB, 498x280px) Image search: [Google]

1007KB, 498x280px

>turn off pc
>turn back on next morning
>"real time shields disabled"

File: 1490725470535.png (7KB, 240x200px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 240x200px

>"shutting down will log all other users out"

File: 2011.jpg (23KB, 256x271px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 256x271px

>>59613900
>>59613917
>windows doesn't wake up

File: 134489320423.png (2MB, 838x829px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 838x829px

>There is a problem with your microsoft account. Fix it and then you'll be able to share your data between anything your microsoft account is logged into!
>I don't have a microsoft account
>Please enter your PIN

File: 1490737687164.png (25KB, 669x514px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 669x514px

>leave trap porn thumb diskette in front of lab computer at school

>>59613594
>Google sha hash of old password
>100,000 results

>browser history is full of porn and stuff
>haha hey bro can I see your laptop for a sec

File: 1365649653847.png (156KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]

156KB, 500x375px

>in bed about to fall asleep
>speakers start buzzing

File: interstellar2014part3.0111.jpg (22KB, 520x282px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 520x282px

>be alone in the office
>my boss's mouse clicks on his one

>>59621929
>implement some complicated feature at 3 am while inebriated
>it works flawlessly
>spend hours just trying to explain to others how it works

>>59623951
cygwinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

>ping google.com
>it's on your local subnet

>>59624040
>browse a few chan sites when alone
>minimal porn
>browse it near people
>every other post is porn

File: Download (1).jpg (5KB, 160x204px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 160x204px

>internet is sluggish or cpu is slowing down
>open up task manager
>every works normally again

File: 1489620843234.webm (494KB, 720x404px) Image search: [Google]

494KB, 720x404px

>desktop flashed and refreshed automatically

File: IMG_0333.jpg (236KB, 799x573px) Image search: [Google]

236KB, 799x573px

>something doesn't work
>post about it
>get dev to respond within 3 minutes
>his post doesn't help and he never replies ever again
>ignore it for months and finally find a new post
>excitement.exe
>HELP I HAVE A SAMES ISSUE HOW FIX?

File: 1434512210595.jpg (37KB, 400x386px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 400x386px

>sexy babes are waiting to get fucked in YourTown, YourState
>using a VPN

>>59613594

%allusersprofile% then windows or microsoft, then windows, start menu, programs or start up, then start up.
Different on each profile
Also check Windows Task scheduler under control panel. Right click start menu in windows 10 to get to control panel, check if there are any tasks scheduled at startup.

>>59613876
>the lights dim
What kind of shitty wiring do you have to have for that to happen?
>inb4 murican

>>59614670
>fat as fuck feet jostle the desk, which jostles the mouse, which registers as a wakeup jiggle

>>59628800
Balmer's Peak!

File: 1488503477809.png (3MB, 3090x2916px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 3090x2916px

>>59630170
kek

File: 1469426817619.jpg (86KB, 518x621px) Image search: [Google]

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> browsing internet on Firefox
> new tab animation flashes for a second, but immediately closes

Pls be adblock doing its thing

File: 1470670361764.png (27KB, 251x404px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 251x404px

>fapping to something on xvideos.com
>just as i cum, i hear a helicopter in the distance

>>59629268
>dad
>cygwin

File: 2bc.jpg (17KB, 399x388px) Image search: [Google]

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>keyboard not detected
>press F5 to continue

>>59630170
>sexy babes are waiting to get fucked in YourTown, YourState
>live in a country with no states

>>59615029
Underrated post

>>59630083
I get this so much

>fans speed up and CPU clearly under strain
>open task manager
>cpu is at 100% for a half second before dropping to normal levels
>never saw what was causing it
it knows when you're watching

>>59624040
top kek

>>59624040
10/10

File: gengarcursedbody.png (82KB, 746x407px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 746x407px

>>59615063

>nightmares that someone takes over my computer and can control it even when I unplug it

I will spend a solid week running so many scans and checks and I don't even have important shit on my computer.

File: 1490417254186.jpg (45KB, 640x597px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 640x597px

>>59613594
>i browse /g/
>there is a thread that doesn't immediately give me cancer

File: yuzu.jpg (77KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 600x400px

>>59613594
>laptop fan shuts down for a split second and starts up again

>>59635432
on linux if you do 'top' command it displays itself as 100% CPU
this bug could be in win as well.

>>59638043
it's not a bug in either, it's just that the act of opening the task manager uses the cpu

>>59638043
Could also be a virus that shuts down whenever it detects taskmgr.exe in the process list

File: shgmwsh.jpg (11KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 480x360px

>>59623593
fucking hell why did I laugh so hard at that picture. I need to get checked for the spectrum

File: we're_in_for_it_now_scoob.jpg (39KB, 576x472px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 576x472px

>>59613594
>phone starts ringing for no reason

>>59624152
Nice shitpost. Retard.

>>59624008

>letting other people touch your computer

File: 8A36QKS.gif (1MB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 480x360px

>Pirate some software
>Internet goes down shortly after

>>59613945
It's the CIA turning your smartTV into an audio bug m8

>>59613900
>windows takes 4 hours to go to sleep
>wakes up instantly (but somehow crashes half the running programs as well)

>>59624040
>by accident

>100 furry porn tabs appeared

>Get call on phone
>Hear what appears to be Bible scriptures but not directly into the phone
This actually happened but only once. I still don't know what the reason was to this day

>>59639686
Either someone was reciting bible passages in your home or you have schizophrenia.

>>59613628
Not a superhackerman. Can anyone explain the problem with it?

>hdd starts churning like crazy
>access light acting like a strobe
>touch mouse
>dead silence
>doesn't make any noise even if I'm looking at it
>leave room for 3 seconds
>hdd starts churning again

I swear my computer is self aware of something.

>>59639917
Do you know what's hidden?

File: 1472463827052.jpg (30KB, 480x421px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 480x421px

>"Found new hardware"
>you didn't plug in any new hardware

>>59639808
Is that you Terry?

>accidentally typing pacman -Syu
>realize that I'm running debian

>>59624040
It's been a long time since I've seen this pasta.

File: woman-washing-hands.jpg (65KB, 1000x636px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 1000x636px

>shitskin sits down in lab
>uses mouse with left hand
>ask him if he's left handed
>he's not

>>59623211
>>S.M.A.R.T. TEST FAILED ON FIRST BOOT DEVICE

>>59613594
>Add lots of lines of code at once
>It compiles

>>59623211
Unplug your USB stuff

>type in google dot com in address bar and click go

>bing search reuslts for google dot com

File: 1307584293001.png (57KB, 191x250px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 191x250px

>>59640664
That sounds shitty

>>59614670
this happens to me too
fuck
I even use linux

File: 1422049235752.jpg (58KB, 720x480px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 720x480px

>double click HDD
>going through folders
>windows explorer freezes
>hear HDD spinning up
>"ZZZZZZIPchckvrrrrmmmZZZZZIP"
>explorer works again

>>59613628
oh god just opened my task manager to check all my SCV host locations and they were all on a single vespine gas dispenser

>>59621933
this

File: Capture.png (33KB, 646x310px) Image search: [Google]

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>>59613628
>my face when

File: cce148b0ba8904b977cce3d13e0624df.jpg (14KB, 500x427px) Image search: [Google]

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>manage to escalate guest account privileges all the way up
>mark wipes drive

>>59640960
that Guad one is probably a virus desu

right click > properties > and if file location isnt system32 then youre being hacked m8

File: 1300432827454.gif (365KB, 400x328px) Image search: [Google]

365KB, 400x328px

>have US intl keyboard with dead keys
>(press ' then space to get '; or ' then a to get á)
>accidentally use ' some time
>it immediately prints ''
Thank god it was a shitty keylogger that couldn't deal with dead keys or I wouldn't have noticed.

File: 1484774423267.gif (1MB, 212x212px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 212x212px

>>59640974
all of them are system32

File: ZFGRdvO.jpg (28KB, 300x562px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 300x562px

>>59640838

File: redhead.gif (1MB, 413x192px) Image search: [Google]

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>>59613594
Win10? It's Ubuntu on Windows running apt-get update.

File: Iwonderwhowasbehindthis.png (173KB, 471x349px) Image search: [Google]

173KB, 471x349px

>>59625097
>kdbus

>>59613594
amd GPU ?

>blue screen and HDD ticking sounds when going into sleeping mode
>turned off sleeping mode
>bypassed blue screen for 2 weeks
>no boot device found

>issue detected with boot sequence, asks for input
>fancy mechanical keyboard doesn't work before boot

>>59640817
fucking wangblows

>>59639917
svchost is the service host. It's used to run code from DLL's as background processes, but the entries in your process list typically don't indicate which DLL's are being run unless you're willing to match PID's between services and the service host instances.

The main risk is that this is the sort of thing that hides what, exactly, is being run. Single svchost instances can be responsible for several services, making it difficult to selectively trim a particular svchost without affecting a number of other services.

Mostly, it's just muggles overreacting when they discover the task manager start googing what csrss and lsass are.

File: just do it.gif (2MB, 480x270px) Image search: [Google]

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>have to program something in java for college assignment
>classmate wants to take a look at my code to get some ideas himself
>show him the class I've written
>/** Created by Miku-chan on 1/18/2017.*/ right at the top

>work remotely on home computer from work all day
>go home
>pc powered off

>>59643307

>>work remotely on home computer from work all day
>>go home
>>pc powered off

But who was PC?

>>59632813
what are you trying to imply

>>59641800
You only have yourself to blame

>>59634065
Is there any logical reason why you would fucking say that post is underrated? Has anybody expressed any kind of dissatisfaction or criticism at all against it? Are you delusional? Are you reading replies that are nonexistant? Maybe you come from communities with voting systems, but there is literally no way that you could know what other people think of that post you just replied to here. Maybe it's psychological. Maybe it's your own post you're replying to, like a 12 year old fucktard liking his own facebook posts thinking his swelling autism is going unnoticed. Maybe your self esteem depends on you tricking yourself into thinking someone out there thinks your post is worth something. Or maybe you are just a retard, the worst kind of retard, the one who thinks he's smart, the one who thinks he's the only one to have gotten the joke, to have understood the post. Well, guess what, faggot, that post is under no definition underrated so why don't you do the world a favor and go check out what the bottom of your toilet smells like?

File: really.jpg (35KB, 322x504px) Image search: [Google]

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>shut down computer
>it just goes back to the desktop
>keep trying to turn it off but the shutdown screen keeps going back to the desktop
>reboot computer
>shut down computer
>it finally turns off
>I had to reboot my PC just to turn it off

>>59640072
maybe it doesn't want you to see it making butter

>>59639368
high chance. 2012 Samsung LEDTV

>>59644727
You seem to be having a bad day. It's okay. Things will get better

>shutting down Windows
>ubuntu desktop appears

File: 53fedfff10370e0ad6d177133f3e7cdc-imagejpeg.jpg (321KB, 1971x1971px) Image search: [Google]

321KB, 1971x1971px

>>59646651
>shutting down ubuntu
>templeos appears

>>59641629

Can be spooky when there's 11 of them, 5 with LOCAL and 6 with SYSTEM.

File: IMG_20170323_203539.jpg (28KB, 683x467px) Image search: [Google]

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>install Gentoo
>half my steam library is gone

>>59644727
Dude nice

>>59640305
kek