Trips decides how the Amazon Server admin will have to kill himself.

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>>59169045
3 bullets in his back and the head in a bag of shit.

Inject thermal paste into the veins of his penis

Burned alive, while the executives roast marshmallows.

>accountability in 2017
Just say it was caused by Russia and call it a day.

The classic death by choking on Hippo Dicks

>>59169086
That won't kill him.
I'm talking from experience.

death by snu snu

Die in a house fire intentionally caused by EVGA novidyo cards

He updates Amazon Lambda to use a more recent version of Node.js and proceeds to fuck off.

>>59169166
God dammit trips you were off by 500...

Sit on his legs reciting the digits of PI until he dies from starvation.

>>59169228
FUCK! off by 6

>>59169045
Lol wut happened?

>>59169045
I don't wanna go on botnet news websites. Could someone give me a quick rundown on what happened?

>>59169281
>>59169279
Basically Amazons Web Servers went down for a lot of people. They are calling it an "increase in error rates". But half the internet's websites are down.

>>59169339
>Amazons Web Servers down
Ok thanks anon. I'm quite happy because that means hipsters got BTFO.

>>59169045
Just a simple hanging

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Death by exile.

>>59169227
And you were off by 5

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AWS at 3 Sigma

Shamed to death by 9gag users.

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>>59169455

Forced to drink a cold smoothie
Too cold.

>>59169045
don't do it anon

>>59169045
They never get the servers back up and the guy is fired.

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>>59169045
murder-suicide

OP here. I am the Amazon Server Guy.

>>59169694
Die in a fire

>>59169694
eat your own head

>>59169045

>>59169704
rerolling for this

No no no.
As penance he must rewrite the entire network stack powering the AWS cloud in Node.js.

gegen die Wand

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It'll be a drone strike, direct from Bezos.
Amazon is investing in them after all.

suicide by 2 gunshots to the head

>>59169045
cyanide to the bottom of the feet

>>59169366
>http://www.wtol.com/story/34626435/amazon-server-error-disrupts-websites-across-internet

repetitive punching in the dick

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>>59169045
>I didn't want to have to do this, Leopold...

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>>59169045
death by bit rot

>>59169940
rerolling

Snort a couple lines asbestos, then wait in horror.

The interweb can survive a nuclear bomb attack or even the human race extinction but not an Amazon S3 major outage. OK?

AWS guy lives a peaceful life until the end of his days.

Drowns in money.>>59169045

>>59169145
Death by poontah

>>59169045
As someone who used to work for amazon, he won't be killed by himself or anyone else.

He will be forced to stay alive, staying awake for 12 hour workdays at the very least, working mandatory overtime because he can't argue with workflow, finally heading home only to find out that even there he will have no respite, as his phone rings to inform him:

"Hey the site's down again, I'm gonna need you to come in

-Jeff"

sysadmins confirmed for being useless NEETs who browse reddit 7/8 hours per day.

Programmers (masters of the universe) > sissie admins

>>59169045
Getting culturally enriched by Ahmed

>>59170230

IT Service Delivery Managers are the masters of the universe, programmers and system admins are souless Chinks or Pajeets that exist by our grace.

Meme'd to death

>>59169366
>that means hipsters got BTFO
this

death by drowning

>>59169045
Death by stoning, only instead of stones, we throw rack mount servers at him.

>>59170080
rolling for this

>>59170777
ah, sweet victory

Galaxy note 7 suicide vest

voluntary death by snu snu

>>59169045
Rolling for Amazon Server admin has watch the entire CTRL+ALT+DEL animated series

B^U

>>59172240
Even the previously unreleased Loss episode?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhrZmg4_cjg

>>59172312
Evil of this magnitude has to be a violation of the geneva convention.

Reassigned to sole member of failed Seagate Drive replacement team.

I'm thinking of getting my AWS Cert, is it a good idea?

>>59170291
You sound pretty unappreciative of people doing the real work. I don't know what you do but I work for a google tier saas company and we don't have "service delivery managers" or "sysadmins". We have systems engineers, operations engineers, and of course developers.

>>59170777

winrar

How does shit like this even happen?

someone here has worked for amazon?

thinking on applying there

>>59169991
Does that count?

>>59170777
WE HAVE A WINRAR

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>>59174000
KEK CONFIRMS IT!
TRIPS DECIDE WHAT TYPE

>>59170777
7zip

>>59174052
>>59174052
crocidolite

Dont kill yourself desu.

>>59169366
I couldn't use our AWS near the end of the work day because of this, and I wouldn't consider myself a hipster

>>59173464
You don't need a certification to rtfm

>>59174052
crocidolite pls

>>59174052
Crocidolite

Do it for the meme

>>59169045
Trap aids

BANNED FOR LIFE

>>59170777
trips of truth

>>59169971
Oh god his eyes

>>59169045
You work for good company why you do this

>>59169045
Meh, this should showed how many services depend on the fucking 'cloud'.

We had waves of angry clients yesterday due to this bullshit.

>>59169116
Kek, this

>>59169045
Install Gentoo until they die of dehydration