Tech Meme Words

>>59090947
big data doesn't just mean databases. It's also used to refer to the massive, unethical datamining done to users on the web, the analytics performed on that data, and strategies directed by those analytics

>>59090947
Internet of things

>>59090947
>app
Software
>tablet
Just no
>wifi
Wireless Connection
>router/modem
No. You have a router with a switch and an access point. If you have the one provided with by your ISP then you have a modem (most likely cable modem) with router,switch & Access Point capabilities. By the way, they're shit, change it.
>facebook/google/gmail
It's not the internet, those are specific websites.

>>59090947
One word:

Hacker

>>59090947
All of those new hip dev workstyles -> Evil HR mandated shit to drive you legally insane without the ability to sue the higher ups over it

>elastic
>cloud
>web scale
>big data
>machine learning
>devops
>as a service
>plug and play
>inclusive
>high availability
>user friendly
>pooled storage
>VR
>self-driving
>managed code
>retina display
>distributed

>>59090947
Botnet => thing I don't like

>>59090947
Haskell, Rust, Go

>>59090947
>Software ENGINEER
those are usually the ones brainlessly slapping java "design patterns" together like they're lego bricks.

>>59091005
this

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>>59090947
>full stack cloud disruptor

>>59091059
All of my this

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>tfw network engineer
>literally just implement cisco best practices, call TAC when shit breaks
>engineer
The pay is pretty nice though. I just hope I go on to do something fulfilling with my life.

>>59091029
what do you mean? that "unlimited" time off type shit?

>>59090947
Growth/Sales Hacker. Fancy term for salesman.

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BlockChain => linked list

What do you guys think about the term "software developer"? It strikes me as simple, unpretentious and professional.

>>59091945
It's codeword for code monkey.

convergence -> a nice way for cisco to tell you you're officially vendor locked

>>59092073
and programmer isn't?

>>59091841
Block chain technology is not a linked list.

>>59092083
It is too.

>>59091001
Is just embedded devices.

>>59092074
Wrong anon, other vendors give you convergence. With Cisco you get Hyperconverged Infrastructure™ powered by HyperFlex™.

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Solomo

>>59091692
stfu make them think we do more then plug the shit in

>>59092288
Ummmm.... Is that....?

>>59092267
heh, I stand corrected
>our enterprise isn't buddies with xanu yet

>>59092429
... a protein shake?

>>59092288
I now know the true value of context.

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>>59092455

>AI

Literally just fancier graph search algorithms

When people freak out about the dark and deep web and how they're dangerous,
the dark web is literally just any page not made publicly available such as intranet files and customer details,
and there's no way you'll accidentally end up in the deep web

>>59090947
Full HD instead of 1080p
Ultra HD instead of 4k

>>59090947
>IoT
Literally small embedded devices with a Wi-Fi radio

>Big data
Large database management isn't anything complex. In fact database management is easy as fuck, you don't even have to do anything, just let the tools do everything for you.

>Networking
Configuring routers and switches and APs is dumb easy, half the shit is given in the operation manual is the router and the other shit can be googled in 1 minute. This buzzword is even worse when used with Cisco, what the fuck is even Cisco networking?

>>59092898
"cisco networking" = EIGRP :)

>>59092898
Mostly knowing their OS and some of the ass backwards things they put in there for the sole purpose of "anyone who wasn't trained will NEVER figure this out."

I'm not kidding, some things are literally backwards for no reason at all.

Need to set something to 255.0.0.0? Then you put in 0.255.255.255

And that's just an easy as fuck example, it could be anything.

>be friends with a front end dev
>his occupation on facebook is User Interface Engineer

>>59091841
c3

>>59092747
1080p instead of 1920x1080
4k instead of 3840x2160

>>59091841
c3

>>59094326
>>>59092747
>1080p instead of 1920x1080
>4k instead of 3840x2160
If written like this, suddenly 4K UltraHD© is much less impressive. Which is of course the reason for this misleading naming

The buzziest of all buzzwords, behold:
>greenfield

Actually, the cloud synergy Web 2.0 integration of information parsing, and the innovation displayed by the intuitive interface and design philosophy of fashionable and artistically conceptualized items, as well as the clear advances made in user-interface stream-lining and leveraged paradigm-shifts towards usability and compatibility, in addition to the ability to perform pseudo-parallel virtualization and the usage of augmented enhancements to the audio-visual human experience, make Dell an obviously better choice.

We are not just talking techno-lingo here, either. In the near future, multi-threaded apps will be optimized for both traditional 2D experiences, or 3D interfaces provided by server-grade levels of performance in a user-friendly form-factor and aesthetically acceptable platform. Only Dell can provide the needed infrastructure and necessary throughput to empower knowledge workers to become innovators who can take full advantage of the upcoming restructuring of the classical data mediums. It must be realized that the internet-savvy consumer must be engaged and presented with a good set of alternatives in order to expand business opportunities and go beyond the presets and lock-downs of old-gen limitations.

quantum anything.

>>59090947
>Framework => Libraries
Isn't a framework a collection of libraries?

>>59095518
I could fall asleep reading that.

What you haven't mentioned is how on-premise in-house hyperconverged infrastructure-as-a-service solutions employing devops techniques and the blockchain will grow your business in vertically integrated always-on environments which are increasingly redundant by way of flexible pay-as-you-go client-side monetizing schemes.

>>59090947
OP ==> Faggot

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Scrum

>>59090947
the new meme in tech recruiting is "egoless".

which means they want slaves.

Rig
>glorified LEGO
Also you're not """building""" anything. You're merely ASSEMBLING parts.

"""Gig Economy"""

Fancy way to market temp jobs.

>>59098582
>build |bild|
>verb (past and past participle built |bilt| ) [ with obj. ]
>construct (something, typically something large) by putting parts or material together over a period of time
Pretty sure assembling a computer consists of putting parts together.

>>59091005
Cracker, Computing enthusiast.

>agile development
>smart anything
>modern anything
>social anything
>cloud anything
>advanced anything
>pro anything
If you cannot categorizes something without some silly description, it is not a real thing.

Smart usually just means there is a computer in the thing, social usually means it is botnet meant to prey on the weak, modern is usually an excuse for being shit, cloud usually means connected to a server, pro and advanced just means the basic concepts are too simple so they fear people won't take it seriously.

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>>59091030
>botnet
>remote server
>html page in browser as system console
>nsa database
>artificial intelligence
>suppressive corporate culture
>proprietary shovelware run on a remote server
>no reboot required
>inclusive ???
>99.9% uptime
>bloated interface
>garbage bin hdd
>cyberspace
>autonomous (vehicle)
>unoptimized program code
>high pixel density liquid crystal in-plane switching dot matrix display device
>computing network

>>59095371
>there is no 4 in 4k
How are they going to describe 8k to the masses without sounding like an immigrant?
>Ultra is used up
so i guess super ultra magnificent HD?

>>59099530
4k is 4 times FullHD
8k is 8 times FullHD

>>59099658
8k is 16 times FullHD.

>>59092192
nah a botnet of embedded devices

>>59094326
the p is important, or do you want interlaced shit?

>>59100144
It's assumed to be progressive scan unless otherwise stated.

>>59100171
>>59100144
computer monitors have used progressive scan since literally forever, the 1080p naming is some stupid meme that carried over from tv plebs.

>>59094234
>>59094993
y tho?

>>59100251
No, back in the 80s there were interlaced monitors

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>>59091841

>>59101081
Not on IBM PC, unless you mean cga composite which doesn't count since it requires a tv (and nobody ever used it anyway).

>>59101159
IBM PCs are far from the only computers to have ever existed.

>>59091002
I installed two softwares today.

>>59091002
I don't believe anyone uses facebook/google/gmail as a synonym for the internet

>>59098647
> Cracker

>>>/pol/

>>59092288
Look at that horse's Willie, I'm sure that shit is semen.

Please define software architect.

>>59101936
Kek

>social media

Your life, literally as a medium of communication

>>59091841
>who intends to kill 50 people
>each trolley contains 10 people who will die
>2 trollies
2x10=20
Are you people retarded? This is a trick question.

>>59091287
>Cool cat saves the server