I'm sorry haters and losers, but Macbooks are simply superior.

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I'm sorry haters and losers, but Macbooks are simply superior. I tried to install Ubuntu on my desktop, but I couldn't even get the wifi to work without having to download the drivers on a Windows PC, put them on a flash drive, then install them in Ubuntu via the terminal. Many such cases! Sad!

Macbooks are simply tremendous. They have -the highest- *gesticulates by raising pinched fingers up* build quality on the market. Mac OS is easy to use, does everything you need it to, and is perfectly integrated with the hardware, it's a tremendous experience folks, I'm telling you, I have many many friends who try to use Windows. It's always updating on them when they're in the middle of something, breaks compatibility with older applications, it's just a mess. So I tell them, "Just buy a Mac, what are you, poor?", and so they buy the Mac, and a few days later I get a call from them saying, "Thanks Donald, you really do give the best advice!" And why wouldn't I? I'm very good with the computers, I've learned a lot from my son, Baron, who has autism and likes computers very very much.

And the ladies, oh boy do the ladies love it. What are women going to think when you pull out a ten year old Thinkpad that's 3 inches thick and covered in anime stickers? It makes you look like a manchild with bad judgement, like crooked Hillary! The sleek, professional, and classy design of Macbooks makes you look like a million bucks to women.