tech stories

>>58981537
once i installed a printer

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i once told this moron on a technology socialite forum to stop posting and he literally did the opposite

it was ok i might do it again if i felt inclined

>>58981554
sweet, did you get the device drivers installed successfully on the device that was to access the printer?

>work in a restaurant
>a couple weeks in, our event coordinator is having computer problems
>let me take a look
>spyware fucking everywhere
>just go down the list and uninstall a ton of shit programs
>run some cleanup programs
>good as new
>"thank you so much!"
>"hey motherfucker, put me on those good business dinners and caterings where i can make $250-400 in a night
>"well i'll see what i can do"

2 years later still making good cash just because i deleted a few programs

>>58981565
Yes! I used hp lib and everything went better than expected.

>>58981565
literally the most boring person on the planet.

get on my level. mathematician, former systems admin/architect

OP here, wanted to go to sleep but some sort of animal is in my drop tile ceiling making noises and scaring me.

Sysadmin here, here's the most embarrassing one for the user.

>VP of marketing runs over to my cube in a panic
>went straight to me instead of help desk cuz she know's I'm higher up some how
"Help anon my computer is broken!"
>walk with her to her cube
"I don't know anon, it just isn't working no matter what I do the screen is black"
>she starts pressing keys and clicking the mouse a lot
"It's broken!"
>look at her monitor
>see that the there is no power LED glowing
>press the power button on the monitor
>it turns on
>She turns bright red

>>58982035
Did you bang her afterwards?

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>>58982061
>banging 3D

>>58982061
She's about 30 years my senior.

She did offer to buy me a beer though.

I told her I was a recovering alcoholic (I'm not)

>>58982063
look man, the only way you can feel sensation in your penis is from 3d interaction. Whether it's your hand, an onahole, or a 3dpd whore who's the VP of marketing.

>>58982075
My condolences

>>58982085
It's not a problem, I am happily married to a woman that doesn't care if I fuck other women.

But fucking someone 5 levels above you on the org chart is just stupid, even if she were attractive.

I use to work at comcast real low level shit, I had a customer call in and complain about how shifty his service was with xfinity ( that's our service branding they switched to a wile againof just in case your retarded). He then went on to tell me he never had problems with comcast. And if he could get out of paying for early termination fees he would switch. I was so dumbfounded that I just told him I would transfer him to com cast and not to worry about the etf.

I also took a call from a person in a legit mental facility, trying to get technical assistance I don't know why exactly

>>58982035
>VP of Marketing
>sits in a cubicle

Yeah I don't believe this shit.

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>IT guy for a few schools
>Teacher argues with me about breaking the printers since I forced all her printers to go to on shared printer
>write script that deletes random files in her off her shared drive
>write another script that shuts her pc down at random times during the day
>she never asks me for help but other teachers told me shes been having issues
its good to be king

>>58981915
hopefully you will hang yourself

>>58982101
>It's not a problem, I am happily married to a woman that doesn't care if I fuck other women.

What? How did that happen?

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>>58981537
>attaching vsphere to iscsi target
>not working
>not working
>oh shit have to resize list window somehow
>>>>it's been working all along

after killing that hooker and staring at my monitor for 17 hour straight it was obvious

>>58982444
She has low self esteem apparently.

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this was at work a few days ago

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>>58982444
>>58982481
not just that, the happiness is a complete sham, just watch them defend it.

>>58982489
Kek. Story?

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>be tutor for C++/Java/SQL 1 & 2, and microsoft office
>Guy working on SQL script needed help
>his tables are all fucked up, hasn't been setting identity columns where required, or any foreign keys anywhere
>Tell him he has to drop the tables and recreate them correctly
>"I don't have time for that anon, I have to go to class blah blah blah it's due in an hour"
>Won't stop telling me I'd be faster to do it
>remote shut down the computer from my terminal
>he freaks out, because he wasn't saving the queries in a file, just leaving them all in the SQL server manager to copy them all to a notepad later

I hope he drops, fuck that guy

>>58982553
you sound like a dick

>>58981561
UNDERRATED

>>58982534
>>58982489
story
All of our clients are remote. Usually we'll setup ipsec tunnels between some of their boxes and ours.
These are only used to get into their networks and serve no other purpose really.
So usually there will be memes everywhere or blatant jokes. all windows jumpbox have icon wallpapers.
The linux ones are better. there scripts that will ascii pepe. symbolic links are redirect to these scripts for common commands. cron jobs run all the time that fuck with you
old timers at work have no idea whats going on and post shit like that screenshot thinking theyve been hacked

Mysterious CP folders have been the topic of lots of meetings

>>58982553
What kind of a nerd saves their SQL queries to a file?

>>58982565

Yeah, I'm a dick cause he's pestering me to fix the homework he fucked up and waited till the last minute to do. I'm also a dick cause he was told (by the instructor, multiple times) to save every query after completing it just in case.


>>58982596
That's how they're submitted to the instructor, in a .txt or .sql file. They have access to a database to fuck around and test stuff out

Anyone that works a networking job got any stories? Hoping to eventually become a Network tech when I finish Cisco.

>>58982617
>labbing in one terminal
>production terminal also open
>cant figure out why my lab setup isnt working
>realize Im in the wrong terminal and a large part of my network is down
this was in a casino

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>>58982553
dick move and probably illegal. unauthorized access to that dude's data with intent to cause harm. way to go, you're a hero.

>>58982633
Don't you have your devices named

>>58982636

>using a college computer
>given full control of every computer in the lab
>illegal
>intent to cause harm
>fullretard.jpg

>>58982650
yes of course
but when you have several terminals open at once it all blends together.
you'd be surprised how much this happens

>>58982333
It's possible. My friend's CTO doesn't have an office because the company is like 95% women, and some of them were literally crying because they didn't get an office or a big enough office, so he was just like "fuck it I literally don't give a shit."

>>58982481
>>58982499

foxandgrapes.jpg

>>58982660
is it your job to fuck up people's homework? are you getting paid to randomly turn people's computers off?

yeah, the guy was probably annoying as fuck, but you are getting paid to do a job, so fucking do it right. you are literally a bigger problem than that nerd.

>>58982788

My job is not to do their homework, and he wasn't content with that answer. If he could follow basic instructions, everything would have been fine. Seeing as how he couldn't do either his homework or the basic instructions, and would rather moan at me to try to get me to do it instead of working on it, a little life lesson is what he needed.
Imagine he was working at your company fucking shit up left and right, and not documenting shit or backing up, you think that would fly? Fuck no, and I'll be damned if I'm going into a field with people like that. Lesson learned, maybe next time he'll follow the (literal) step by step instructions handed to him.

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>>58982828
i understand your frustration, however it does not make it the right thing to do.

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>>58982603
Gas yourself, edgelord.

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>>58982856

Is the right thing to allow someone, who cannot follow basic instructions, to suffer no consequences of their actions? It's a second level course, the same instructor teaches both courses. He had the entire previous semester to learn to save and save often, and follow instructions, and he did neither of those things. I'm not doing right if I don't show him that he should do things right, and not bitch and whine to have someone else clean your mess when you have to do extra work because you fucked it up the first time. Maybe he'll be more careful. Maybe he'll do the work more than 1 hour before it's due.

>>58982866
(you)

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>>58982886
kk

here's about 20 "different" stories all in one

>computer illiterate asks me for help
>his computer is filled with malware
>fix it
>he/she gets angry

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>>58982886
They would have suffered consequences, of not having done their work properly.

It's not your job to "teach people lessons" you fuckin fedoralord.

>>58982553
Keep fighting the good fight.

>>58982936
"Why the fuck did you delete my Bonzi Buddy?!?!"

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>>58982943

and instead he learned how to do the shit they've been told to do SINCE THE FIRST DAY OF THE FIRST CLASS HE TOOK, that's a win for the greater good in my book. Maybe think farther than 2 minutes ahead you human-sized nutsack with legs

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>whats my gmail password?
uhh i dont know did you write it down or anything?
>no? why would i write it down? you're the computer guy you do the password
well i cant really help you if you dont know your password
>you're not very smart for a computer guy

>>58982856
You've obviously never worked with freshman CS students.

>>58981537
this shirt is so cringey

>>58982333
I guess you never worked in silicon valley, everyone in our office with the exception of the CFO sat on a cube (4 foot tall cubes btw). There were 4 leadership executives in my office, CFO, CMO, SVP of engineering, CTO.

Our office in Austin, which only had one executive, the CIO, everyone got their own office except the receptionist.

>>58982444
I dunno, she just doesn't care, she's not allowed to fuck other guys. We had a threesome once but she just wasn't into it.

Sleeping with other people is actually a lot of effort, I only do it occasionally and when it's a woman that I'm super attracted to while I'm on a business trip.

>>58982828
Sorry anon but what you did was unethical and grounds for termination as well as keeps you open to a civil suite.

>>58982886
It's not your job to see that justice is done, gg sperg

>>58982990
Hey faggot, have fun getting fired because you obviously can't be trusted with root.

Fucking useless.

>>58982886

just like every other poster in this thread, I am a certified lawyer and what you did can earn you about 5-10 years in prison.

>>58983252
Anon, anyone who's worked IT knows what he did was unethical in the highest order. Sorry but you have a lot of power as an IT pro, for instance I have access to all of our financial documents and source code.

What he did was something that gets you fired on the spot at any company that is paying attention.

>>58983220
>civil suite
sounds comfy

>>58983232
see
>>58982990

>>58983241
LikeIGiveAFuck.jpg

>>58983252
4/10 made it into the long reply

>>58983268
Obviously didn't read, I'm not IT. I'm a tutor.

>>58983275
Listen faggot, your story fucking sucks, you belong nowhere near computers.

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>>58983285

One day, you and I may be working together, and you'd never even know it. How's that feel anon?

>>58981537
>work at an elementary school as a tech aide
>the district sets up new wifi routers for better signal, new wifi names, old names still available
>one teacher asks to set up her laptop to the new wifi
>she asks to keep the old wifi name on her phone
>ask why she would want to do that, since district will eventually remove the signal
>"i dont want big brother looking at my stuff"
>"o-ok"

>>58983316
Did he at least share his cp with you

>>58983327
she did seem the type to have some dirty secrets

>>58983268
>IT chump
>CS tutor
Pick one and only one, dipshit.

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>>58983355
>tfw she was having some sweet /ss/ action