You come home to this one day.. What do you do, /g/?

>>57973230
>full disk encryption with a 10-word diceware passphrase
Couldn't give a fuck honestly famalam

Wait, you mean I left the house?
Why are those people delivering stuff I never ordered?

>>57973230
Good thing it was my neighbors.

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laugh as the neighbor pedo gets dragged out of his mommys house in his underwear then later come by to fuck his mother

>implying i ever leave home

>Two computers?
>No laptops?
>The FBI has jurisdiction in my country?
>My home doesn't have a wooden fence.

>>57973251
Enjoy broken fingers as a result of the interrogation.

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>>57973230

>>57973272
I hope I can be as cool as you one day...

*rolls eyes*

Stupid kids, seriously...

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keep driving

>>57973255
Dude, you're getting a Dell

laugh at them because they'll never find the keyfiles for each individual logical volume scattered throughout old cereal box video game CD install files

>>57973230
>You come home to this one day..
>Implying I left the house in the first place

Free garbage collection? Hell yeah.

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I have like, a terabyte of pirated movies and TV shows, so idk what I'd do. I mean, I don't have CP or anything, but I bet if the police went through all that work they'd fuck me for whatever they can find.

Do a 360 and get back into the car

>>57973863
rated
under

Not much, seeing how I haven't done anything I need to worry about.

I carry my conscience lightly.

Hope they don't find my spicy stash of GBA ROMs and pirated Steven Universe episodes?

>>57973863
top kek

>>57973230
remote detonate the explosive inside the house and the computer

>>57973482
This, except I wouldn't want to damage the neighbor's property. I need to make something that blasts steel pellets at crotch level.

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>>57973230
Grab the monitor

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>>57973230

Keep on walking/driving.

>>57973230
Trump is getting rid of the FBI because of the terrible job they did investigating Hilary, so this situation will not be possible.

>>57973230

Wonder why the bombs didn't blow up.

>>57974715
Do people actually believe this?

>>57973865

dd if=/dev/urandom of=/file/on/your/hd bs=1024 count=1000000

How do you explain this encrypted partition here kiddo, give us the password

Sit in jail on principle while they try to crack my AES encrypted partitions to get to my chinese cartoons and dickgirls.

>>57973230
>unsheathes katana

>>57974394
>I need to make something that blasts steel pellets at crotch level.

>if the fbi cant make baby fbis, we can get red of them within a single generation

Aw sweet, free computers? Hope I got enough room.

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>>57973230
>throw my hands in the air
>awww cmonnnnn!

Tell them they have to run RM -rf / for the computer to run correctly

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>>57973230
Joke's on them, I'm always home.

Pray they don't give a shit about piracy. If they do, I'm fucked. If they don't, then they'll probably just copy my porn folder for kicks, some good stuff on there.


Especially if you love dicks.

>>57973813
>laugh at them because they'll never find the keyfiles for each individual logical volume scattered throughout old cereal box video game CD install files

youre a fool for thinking its non trivial to dump your thousands of CDrom and have a script try them all, if youre keeping the keyfiles with the hdd you might as well just diceware

its much more safe to have anal microsd card

>>57973272
>to fuck his mother
you do realize his mom probably fucked him as a kid, many paedos are paedos because they were abused as a child

>>57974908
I'm sorry I lost it a while ago, but you can hack it in no time right?
That'd help me to be honest, I had some important files on it!

Ask them if they need assistance and show them the exact location of all my electronics.

If they ask me anything specific such as they suspect me of having x on my drives, then I will plead the fifth until my lawyer is present.

Absolute worse things you can do are:
1) keep driving
(dumbass, they have cams setup on their vehicles outside and will question you in court as to why you drove away from your own house.(guilty))

2) try to argue with them and tell them you have nothing
(they wouldn't be wasting man power if they didnt have a strong case. it doesnt matter what you say, they will 100% think you're guilty. shut your mouth)

>>57973251
this is the equivalent of saying you're behind 7 boxxies

good job being retarded

So they're going to raid me because of my 300gb of 80s and 90s TV shows, mp3s and a handful of movies and legal porn? Hey, it's not my time they're wasting.

>>57973482
wtf man??? where the fuck is this from???????

>>57973255
>>57973770
kek

>>57973230
> You come home to this one day..

>>> come home
>>> implying I ever left
>>> implying I go outside
>>> implying anyone else here goes outside
>>> going outside
Shitty OP.

>>57973484
> *rolls eyes*
You fucking wish, kiddo.

>>57976893
Belgium or Paris? I forgot.

>>57977400
>Belgium or Paris? I forgot.
Ah, the Islamic State of Europe.

:(

You can have all the best encryption in the world but only physical destruction will POSSIBLY work, because the US knows that P = NP :^)

>not keeping your illegal shit in the cloud

>>57973230
Nothing?
Everything is encrypted anyway. Good luck bruteforcing 64digit passwords + 64digit keyfiles.
Also I don't keep or do anything illegal (maybe except occasiocal masturbating to furry porn), so I don't give two shits.

>>57977513
None of that will work if the U.S. solved P vs NP though. Better get the thermite

>>57977544
I don't live in the US.

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>200BC + 2216
>not having thermite set to blow on a switch over all your dirives

>>57977575
May your fans suckle from the resistors, to muffle!

>>57973230
they dont take your whole case anymore just the harddisk.

t.got raided

>>57977814
May your fans suckle from the resistors, to muffle!

>>57973230
Start тнinking wнaт мy faмily is goiнg to тнink about all тнaт мoм-son, sis loves мe porn :'(

>>57973251
>10-word diceware passphrase
Only slightly better than a 10 character password.

>>57977575
> CURRENT YEAR
> putting potentially illicit things in internal storage
> not putting them in crunchy microSD cards or flash drives

>>57977831
> t.got raided
Seriously?

Do tell.