Weird things you believed about computers when you were little

Windows is good.

Fuck that's a sick leash. Should've been a bit more photorealistic, but it's a damn good idea.

>>57383489
yeah, if they put in the hammer, rear sights and a magazine it would be cool

>be 1989 in bumfuck
>look forward to visiting local shopping mall every time because there is a radio shack with a tandy computer on display
>think it will print money if i press the dollar sign key

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eastern europe
guy is burning games and movies and is selling it online
i was imagining he would get by mail huge boxes of originals and then copy those
turned out he just had internet and knew where to look
on top of the fact that his older brother was a sysadming for biggest company in the city that brought him 2 times a month several HDDs full of the scene stuff

soon we will get technology in here that makes green text

My very first introduction to anything code related was BBcode and i felt smart as fuck being able to change fonts and images for an online text based game i played when i was 13. Im 24 now and i still play that same game but they finally switched to html for everything a few years ago.

I knew files I could run ended in .bat, .com or .exe.
Since I liked .bat the most, I renamed all my executable files to that.

>amount of RAM is the most important factor in determining how powerful a PC is
>"memory" refers to HDD space
>CPU means Central Programming Unit
>The Motherboard is second to RAM in determining power
>you can write programs in HTML
>All Apple PC's come with oregon trail, (like Windows comes with Solitaire)
>You can edit a .exe in notepad, change a value to "True" and unlock a trial version (I swore this worked for me once for MS Office... to this day idk what I did)
>Australians don't have computers
>Someone can get all your information, SSN, drivers license, etc., from you IP address
>"Linux" [or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux.] is a single OS, just like Windows or OSX (I think everyone believed this at one point)
>Bill Gates invented computers
>Bill Gates invented the internet
>Bill Gates invented
>the SCSI ribbon cable was a very important, non-removable cable that carried all the computations from the CPU to the RAM

I've probably got more

thought that shortcut was the best type of compression, i could fit all of the files of Age of Empires 2 in 1 floppy disk.

>>57383489
It's definitely sick.

>>57383819
Nothing even remotely embarrassing about that. Most of us started that way.

I thought by mashing up QuakeC files I could get reaper bots to play TF... Also tried to add in the Cujo mod

>>57383446
You can't come up with this shit.

>>57384210
Well someone did

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I don't use greentext, so forgive me in advance.
>brother puts 3.5 inch Carmen San Diego disk into my 5.25 inch drive
>it gets stuck as fuck
>try to get it out but ultimately fail as the metal slidey piece gets left behind
>computer, upon reboot, complains about invalid system disk
>cannot get out the metal clip with tweezers
>assume this means computer is broken forever, and never use the rig again

Eventually, because we were poor and that same brother was in a body cast, the school system gave us this super poorfag rig that couldn't even open a word document without taking 15+ minutes. Was cool, it also had AOL

>>57384228
How

Try using that leash in Britbong land.

>Didn't know that RAM existed

if you press sleep on computer and it sleeps for several minutes when it wakes up it will run faster because it is rested

>>57384378
I was like 8 at the time, easy to think you're fucked man.

>>57384626
I meant whitetexting

>>57384666
oh, easy to do anon
>0
>1
>2
>3

>>57383946
Ey, that's kinda cute I guess.

>be 9
>heard from someone that making games is very hard
>what could be so hard about it?

It's probably knowing what all the different file extensions do - BMP is an image, WAV is a sound etc. - if you know them and put them in a special game making program, out comes an EXE with the game. Kind of like cooking...

>be 13
>first times ever on the internet, signing up for a Yahoo account.
>form asks for a name and birth date
>afraid Yahoo will use that information to track me down and demand payment of many dollars for their email service and my dad would get mad.

> Age 5-6
> I don't know english very well
> Trying to run a game from 5.25'' floppy in DOS
> "Invalid command."
> It's saying my computer is now an invalid (a.k.a with a disability) because i broke it.

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>>57384666
>>57384671

>>57384876
>Not using legacy captcha

>>57384378
Easy bro
>just like this

That the turbo button on old PC's actually made them go faster.... oh little did i know

>>57384984
Fuck
> fuck
>fuck
>fuck

When I was about 8 or 9, I genuinely believed that all computers initially contained all programs that had ever been made and when you bought a new computer, the sales guys just deleted the ones you didn't buy with it.

I spent many afternoons and weekends scanning the hard drives of several computers, futilely trying to find the traces of these deleted programs in hopes that I could restore them with the UNDELETE program that came with (then brand new) MS-DOS 5.0.

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>>57384942
>solving captchas

>Be like 10 or something
>try to play Warcraft 3 online
>login to AOL account
>close it thinking it would keep me online
>try to login into battle.net
>I spent days trying to go online to no avail

My younger days were horrible. It just reminded me when I tried to play RE4 and I looked for cheats online and it would takes like 2 minutes for a page of text to load.

>>57384083
You as a kid was the normie of today.

>>57383489
Not in Rio de Janeiro it isn't.

I thought that cd burner was actually burning cds, like destroying old unwanted disks. Or itcould make new one if you had special software (cd maker) and put like plastic in it, it mold it and make new cd.
This is because I saw some article once in some computer magazine and they were discussimg cd recording (it was hacker stuff so they called it burning) and had a picture of a frying pan and a cd in it.

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>>57384826
kek
underrated desu senpai

>>57383446
>Right click image
>set as wallpaper
I thought this would change the house wallpaper.

>>57383446
Whenever I got one of those errors that said "this program has performed an illegal operation" I always freaked out as a kid. I thought the police were going to show up and arrest me.

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>>57386277

>Weird things you believed about computers when you were little

Only Batman had a computer and computers werent real they just existed in episodes of batman

>>57383446
i collected viruses and try to run them all at once

>you can drag shortcuts of programs to a floppy to use on another comp

It was fun when everything was new and mysterious

>>57383446
That is so dangerous you could get shot by a cop, please don't buy that kind of shit.

I thought the monitor was the entire computer and the tower was just for CDs and the power supply. When we got a new monitor that could display a higher resolution, it confirmed my belief.

I thought computers actually had signals that represented 1's and 0's flowing through wires.

>you have to log off before you shut down or the computer breaks

>>57383446
>atf sell a dog leash

> >Memes

an operating system came on a chip that you installed into the computer and if it got messed up your computer was finished

(unfortunately many still think this as adults)

>memes

>>57384228
>""""rig""""

>>57384765
>tried for weeks to get desktop my parents gave me connected to internet
>wondering why windows "set up new network connection" kept failing even though my dad had a 54g wireless router
>eventually gave up and finally realized years later the pc had no wireless card

>>57386277
>mfw this still happens to me
>get emails with big scary words I don't know in the subject
>automatically assume I'm in trouble

> >

>

>>57384083
I remember trying to download Linux and getting incredibly confused years ago.

>>57386751
I remember downloading debian and being a dumb fuck and erasing everything.

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>>57386751
>>57386760
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ARE THE MOST ANnOYING CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW FUCK

>>57383446
I thought that every videogame was a choose-your-own-adventure video and every thing was predrawn.

>>57386829
oh god this. i remember sliding along the borders in all kinds of games with a disappointed look on my face

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>Be me
>Be stupid kid
>Want to play allll the vidyas
>Ask dad if we can buy a video game
>Dad says the computer doesn't have enough space
>Ask wtf he's talking about, the desktop isn't even filled up with icons yet
>point to screen "See, there's free space there, there and there!" Desparately pointing to empty spaces, on the quite cluttered computer screen
Facepalm still to this day

>>57387132
> be a stupid kid
> computer doesn't have enough space
implying when you were a kid you didn't buy video games on disks or cds.

underageb&

I thought that infinitely skilled programmers could write infinitely fast software.

>>57383446

>be little kid
>C is a "useful" programming langauge
>Linux is a useful operating system

>downloaded a very early version of game maker and toyed around with it
>"wow so that's how they make them video games"
>decide I want to make some software or whatever
>google for "software maker" and "freeware maker" and "program maker"
>no conclusive results
>frustrated because I can't find the WYSIWYG thing that all software must necessarily be made with
>it doesn't occur to my undeveloped brain that there has to be some process by which said software would be created

>>57383446
>all you need to do is copy a programs .exe file to another computer to use it

>>57384228
> Your secret is safe with me

>>57387237
That sounds like kid-me searching for "hacking toolz"... What's funny is that's how I found Netbus

>>57384378
>this probably wont work buy I'll try it

>>57384228
› hiro is that you?

>>57386602
I think I used to think that too because the school made us do it

When playing Red Alert 2 I didn't understand what ping was but for some reason I assumed that a higher number was better. So I'd always join servers with the highest ping and kick people who had low ping.

>>57384093
I've see people do this all the time. IT WONT WORK ON MY CD/USB.

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>Hackers are just like they are in the movies
>Once you know how computers work, you know everything about every program and can fix any problem with ease.
>Genius programmers exist and they can write any program they want really fast

>>57387261
this. The fact that it sometimes worked and sometimes didn't made things more confusing

>>57386802
What the fuck do raspberries have to do with downloading linux

>>57384626
> >dickbutt

>>57384671
>how?

>>57384671
○>HOW

>>57384876
>test
> >test

>>57387510
>easy

>>57387509
>>57387541
>>57387549
>normalfags
>>>OUT

>ezpz

>>57387583
►APPARENTLY FUCKING NOT

>>57387345
>take 2
>a

>>57387575
>imblygn

>>57387353
>>57387300
>>57386680
>>57384378
>>57384984
>>57386620
>>57386656
>>57386712
>>57386750
>>57387583
>>57387596
>normalfags don't know how to use their search engines

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>if your computer is slow or acting out of the ordinary you automatically have a virus
Now it's my biggest pet peeve. Everyone that knows I work in software calls me to fix their computer problems and the first thing they say is "I think I have a virus..."

>>57387156
Disks are just installation media, moron.

>>57387612
FUCK

>ayy lmao

>>57383446
I literally believed that files that didn't open when you double clicked them where useless and wasting space, so i deleted all the DLL files on my father's windows 3.11 computer

>>57387670
And you installed /g/entoo after that?

thought you could any software by saving the html page.

>>57384484
On shitty laptops (like macbooks) and shitty PCs (like macs) that's exactly how it works.
On a related note, Apple devices are shit

>>57386534
Not everywhere is a third world country

>>57387612
> >test

>You could get a virus on your Sega Genesis. It traveled through the power lines
>consoles always had better graphics than PC's, which were only good for crappy looking point an clicks
>dust in your PC would cause it to slow down, and if you wanted it to be faster you had to physically clean it
>the more powerful the PC, the faster the internet
>if you could splice your coaxial cable into an ethernet cable, you'd have "free" internet
>deleting browser history deletes all trace of you ever having visited a website
>Each brand of machine had its own operating system. Evidenced by the different versions of Windows on every new PC we got, and different wallpapers on other people's computer
>your mouse had an actual tiny mouse inside that told your arrow where to go. The roller was his wheel that he ran in when he wanted to play
>installing games was pointless and just made you waste time, instead of playing the game
>Ctrl + Alt + Del was a secret hacker combo that got you into "the mainframe"
>Reboot was an accurate representation of how computers work
>3D cartoons will never look better than Reboot
>You can hold all the information on the internet on 1Tb (probably true, when I believed this)
>You can only save files to floppys and disks. Computers have no memory.
>flash drives are never going to take off
>USB is stupid. Everything can't work with that slot, because everything has different connectors
>Putting a piece of bologna in the disk drive will start of bologna game
>I think my bologna is scratched or dirty
>wipe bologna on shirt and put back in
>give up and eat it
>the only way to find porn was clicking the ads on cheatcodes.com and going into a neverending spiral of clicking ads from each site to go to different porn sites
>mfw this is how I got my taste for hentai
>askjeeves is better than Google because you can ask "him" an actual question
>People will visit my "website"
>I was computer literate

>>57388103
some of these are true

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>>57388103
>3D cartoons will never look better than Reboot
I see nothing wrong with this statement?

>normalfags
>>>OUT

I like going to nature with no cell phone signal and listening to ambient music based on (((Earth)))

>>57388319
I like to sneak up behind people on trails out in the middle of nowhere that are listening to music and sprint past them.

>>57388316
>implying you knew everything you know from birth

>Be 9
>Doing something on my mom's new Windows 98 laptop
>Error message pops up, says "illegal operation"
>Shut off computer and everything else in house
>Sit in living room, hidden, but can still see out the big window
>Hours go by, nothing happens
>Turn computer on again and look up "illegal operation" on Yahoo
>Feel like a retard for the next week

>>57388340
same, rofl

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I used to think that the screen was the computer itself.

when I wake up, call of duty will be ready :)

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>>57388577

>>57387632
>implying

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>>57388577

>>57386751
"""""years ago"""""

>>57388615
>>57388658
I used to think macs were computers too.

>>57386236
>save doujin page on ie
>or so I thought, I actually clicked set as desktop wallpaper

>>57383446
that I'd have to handle strings of information through mathematical formulas that looked like this:

23H hjcjcJ jcjrhuch fhajsnnd fbahskwiue ADSJNCCXCxxxx + + AHSKDnnjndnjncnncncncncncnc = ()()()()()()()(

I've learned that it's still sorta similar, that was obfuscation, and that those paren type deals really do exist. The only different now is that it's a lot more mechanical than I originally believed. I didn't expect the kind of symbolism we got, though I'm pretty heady about it. I expected that it was going to be more like what quantum physics has turned out to be.

Come to think of it, I might've been right. I have this friend, whom even after changing his life around and that probably hates me now used to tell me every few years. "Way ahead of your time, dude". He was privileged. I am not.

>>57383529
Kys

>be 9
>want to make a program
>start by opening Microsoft Word and typing basic arithmetic like 4+2=6
>then write "5+5=" expecting the computer to figure it out and answer

>a few years later
>no Internet
>friend plays gta San Andreas
>invites me over to play it
>grab an empty dvd to copy it
>dvd has a capacity of 4.5gb
>game image is less than that
>for some reason I thought it wouldn't have space on the dvd so I suggest compressing the iso with winrar
>spend half an hour staring at the screen while winrar compressed less that half of it with a 98% ratio
>friend gets bored and cancels it
>feel bad for wasting his time

˃be 8
˃parents constantly telling me to stay away from cords
˃get it in my head that cords are living beings like snakes
˃develop horrible fear of cords
˃start having a reoccurring nightmare where I'm sitting on top of a desk and power cords are zapping/stabbing at me
˃too afraid to use computer or plug anything in

>>57383446
>A dual core 2ghz cpu was really 2 1ghz cores that combined into 2ghz
>if I played enough halo CE I'd learn to speak Spanish from all the weird Mexicans on there

In elementary school I was convinced if a computer calculated something, it just looked up the result in a huge table of all possible results.

>>57389659
This is pretty much how I thought calculators worked. Something like a scientist guy punching in the result of every possible equation and the calculator would just use that.

>>57384378
>>57384984
>>57387345
>are you even trying

>>57383446
>if you move houses you lose all the data on your computer

Yeah I was special.

>>57383485
F5Fuck that shit.

When I was really small, I thought games were just a bunch of video clips that would play depending on what action you did and that making a game meant creating a video for every single variable action your character could do. It used to boggle my mind how much effort that would take and that being a game developer must be the hardest thing ever

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>>57383489
>walking around with a big dog and holding what looks like a gun
>in this year of our lord 2016 when cops will run over little kids out of fear for their lives
honestly anon, not wise

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>Windows is good
>macs are bad
>linux is for people who grew up using computers without a GUI. Who would want to type everything when you could just click it

I thought all programs are written in assembly.

>Macs don't get viruses

>>57387615
>test

>>57391030
It's only a bad idea if you're not white

>only really intelligent people could be programmers and they are all hackers

>read the word dir and have no idea what it means
>Piece together that it was another word for folder
>Actually say out loud to someone once "it's in the dir"
>Years later I get the sudden realization it meant directory

>>57383446
that every part of the PC (also the CPU and the PSU) need a driver installed to work correctly

>>57383446
for years as a little kid, I thought "Untitled" was read as "United" and wondered why
like, this was before 2nd grade

also, I didn't realize that qbasic was a thing, so when I read some shitty BASIC how-to book from 1979 or whatever, I opened up MS Access and used VBA (with line numbers since that's what the book taught, and the biggest gotcha was that I had to use MsgBox when the book said "print" and InputBox when it said "input")
I think I was like, ten at the time? We had Windows ME on our main computer at home, and an old Windows 95 machine that stared ominously at me while I slept. Was actually slightly afraid of it as a kid.
and I was scared of resolution changes (or rather, pretty much any time the monitor flickered -- thought it might blow up one day)

I also tried to make "programs" with Microsoft Word and dragging ActiveX controls onto it -- but since I didn't actually know how VBA actually worked, I never did make them do anything.

really, kid me was kind of retarded despite using computers for as long as I can remember

>>57383446
Was anyone else here not retarded as a kid?

>>57389550
>if I played enough halo CE I'd learn to speak Spanish from all the weird Mexicans on there
all I learned from doing that was "hijos de puta"
but that's all I've ever needed

>>57392253
>implying you didn't have stupid misconceptions about the world as a kid
it's an anonymous board, anon, you don't have to lie to look cool

>>57392319
I never had misconceptions. I fact checked everything.

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>>57392430

>>57383446

"nu male shot to death by police was only holding a gag gun"

>>57392491
This picture was me unironically.

>>57392080
>test

>>57392565
\>icles :^)

>>57383446
That has to be the most ridiculous thing I've seen all year.

>>57392731
Have you been living under a rock for the entire year?

>>57392749

Why yes, I have. And Patrick is my neighbor.

>>57384093
I remember being so excisted when I found a torrent site that had morrowind to download for just 56kb. It was about another year or two before i realised what I a torrent actually is.

>everything on the Internet is true

>wanted to play spider man game
>mom said I couldn't because the it guy at her work said we needed a 'movie card'
>realize years later she meant gpu
>still haven't played spiderman

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>Science will never go to far

>chain mail was real and if I didn't send it to 10 friends in 5min, a ghost would rape my dog, my mother would die in her sleep and my crush would fuck my worst enemy

>>57384083
making me nostalgic for ribbon cables what the fuck

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Online IQ tests were real and I'm a fucking genius

>>57383446
>believing that every time you press a key or move your mouse it will be logged and once the log file is too big your computer slows down
>windows is good
>antivirus is good
>piracy is bad

I used to think that modem noise they made was like morse code

used to think more hard drive space made it run faster

used to think with two screens i could plug in two keyboards and two mouses so my sister and i could both play games

used to think hacking into stuff was like that hacker movie where it'd be like some 3d world you have to explore through and find codes and keys to unlock stuff to get in

first time i seen pen touch on winxp i think it was i touched my screen thinking my screen was a touch screen

with my first dual core i thought i could dual boot two OS simultaneously

>be me
>be stupid kid
>own a sony erricson phone that runs java applications
>search for hacking others bluetooth
>get an ftp app
>connect to unsecured bluetooth devices
>think it's a hacking tool

>>57394510
The modem noise is... Well a protocol of diff noise freqs...

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>Only 1337 hax0rz could use 4chan. And if they caught you using it and you weren't 1337,they would get your ip address, track you down and ruin your life.

>>57394545

>finding 4chan after it became mainstream

what a newfag. this is just a taiwanese knitting and sewing forum

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>Anti-virus is good and gets rid of all viruses
>A virus was a graphical worm that ate all of your files in the background until your computer didn't work anymore
I think I saw something similar in a movie once.

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>using the term newfag
Bet you've been here since the beginning

>>57394562
>>57394679
Just to be clear, I've been here since 2008. Not sure where the newfag cutoff is but 4chan was definitely not mainstream at that point

>>57384083
Fuck dude, I didn't even know how to connect my playstation to the internet until I was like 12. I'm 20 know and have dozens of passwords memorized but I couldn't even comprehend how people played nfs underground 2 online using a ps2 when it came out.

>>57394705

this is a taiwanese sewing and knitting forum. do you have your first community knitted mittens?

Before Win95 even existed, I "operated" from DOS and nothing seemed weird about computers because it's all logical

>>57392565
>test

>why is my greentext broken ;_;

>>57387902
Holding a stick of gum in a menacing manner is enough to provoke cops to shoot you in the states.

>>57394763
>test

>>57394804
>test

>>57394840
>test

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>>57383446
>>57383489
ok senpai, fixed.

>>57394732
Nice try but because I've been here for so long you can't trick me.

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>>57394755
Pin the blue ribbon upon his chest

>be 12
>thought the Internet was like Onion routing.
>learned that it was not so. become paranoid over the Internet.

>be 8 or 9 yo
>tried to copy my friends dos games to floppy to bring back home
>only copied the shortcuts
>angry because it didn't work

thought they were super expensive
instead apparently mom and dad loved their new clothes and steaks and eating out too much to buy me one

>>57384083
>you can write programs in HTML
But you can.

>>57383489
You probably can't use it in the US without getting shot though.

>>57387631
>if your computer is slow or acting out of the ordinary you automatically have a virus
Its ok, in a few more years your going to relearn that this is actually usually the case.

>>57394705
The cutoff is the Habbo raid and resulting fox news story, when tons of people were exposed to 4chan for the first time and became newfags. Within weeks of that flood, those newfags invented advice dog, the first meme to be widely adopted by normalfags

If you weren't browsing 2005 or earlier then you're forever a newfag. Even if you browse for decades you will always be one

>>57395154
everyone did that shit.
Even after I knew what the link was, Id sometimes burn shit with the "send to" button and Ive had it send the fucking link to the cd.

Started using linux and drag and drop wouldnt move the file, it would only make a fucking link.

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>the "switches" in logical circuitry are physically moving switches on hinges, like in the illustrations, or like on those educational play circuit sets, except they were microscopic

Believed this until I was 20

>>57395175
html isnt programing pajeet

>be 10
>before getting the internet.
>School teacher said that most dangerous pages on the Internet was Nazi sites.
>First Altavista search "nazi propaganda".

>>57395314
pretty sure the cutoff is the scientology shit where fags went out in fucking Guy Fawkes masks.

>a computer virus is something that you can actually see
>takes the form of a small red dot on your screen and whenever you see it it quickly disappears

> >test

>>57395404
> >test2.jpg

>>57387615
>kek

>>57386576
I don't see the problem

i thought that using linux means im computer expert, and its somehow shameful to use windows.
now i understand you use the tool for the task at hand.

>>57383446
That higher ghz = faster computer is (even an older processor from years earlier)

>>>57394840
>test

>>57383489
Unless you are black of course

>>57388944
They were, anon.

>>57395314

I browsed 4chan for a bit in 2004 but everyone was being a loud turd so i never visited again until this year when news spread that "4chan is dying" on other imageboards. That makes me a newfag i guess?

>>57397062
Come to think of it, everyone's being a loud turd now too, but not as much.

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I thought using Windows Classic theme but not that colorful mess and Windows 90s logo makes you a pro user

>>57383446
The more files you store on a hard drive, the heavier it gets.

>>57397519
>The more files you store on a hard drive, the heavier it gets.
Actually true. About 10^(-14) grams / TB.

http://www.ellipsix.net/blog/2009/04/how-much-does-data-weigh.html

>>57394510
>used to think with two screens i could plug in two keyboards and two mouses so my sister and i could both play games

I do this with my computer. I use a GPU passthrough to do it though.

I thought web pages were like books and at the end of every web page you got links to other pages like it.
I thought this was how the entire internet worked.

>>57394871
>test

>>57383946
Oh fuck yes, .bat was the shit, I met some older people who are trying to make bat alive again by making encrypted bat viruses, but like, right click it and youre outed lol

I remember feeling like a code lord making a bat script that was like 3000 lines of code making a simple game

Oh the days

>>57384228
>how the fuck did you do it

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>>57386616
Underrated.

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>>57384083
>Bill Gates invented computers

>is a lil retarded kid
>has left4dead2 [xbox 360]
>in australia
>hooks up keyboard to xbox
>clicks the ~ key to try to open the developer menu to cheat
>tries on all 5 keyboard in house
>need more keyboards
>got mum to buy me 2 more cheap keyboards from bigw
>both dont work
>tries using a mouse
>still doesnt work
>sad little boy

Fuck you guys, I had nearly erased this memory from my mind

>around 8-10ish on the Pavilion playing Sims 1
>had some character in a suit for some reason
>he started to cook food
>fire starts
>i freak out and go out to my father in the backyard
>"Dad, Dad theres a fire" I say without explaining its the sims...

He had a laugh at it though, but fuck that was embarrassing

>>57397519
interesting to think about actually
how cool if that worked...

>>57395314
lucky anons can fuck off and pretend to be different people!
fuck off, is it that cool to be here before 2005, jesus christ

I remember in 6th grade some kid was bragging about how he had a floppy disk with a bunch of viruses that would mutate each other and become really bad.

I knew it was bullshit at the time tho

>>57384083
>Someone can get all your information from IP

I remember some kid thought I had access to his bank account and other shit like that when I ddos'd him. He got his parents involved and they had the police on the line. Fucking retard

>>57398394
>>got mum to buy me 2 more cheap keyboards from bigw

Why did your mom go along with this?

Also, Left4Dead2 came out 7 years ago. So unless you were this dumb at 11, underage b&.

I thought uninstall was pronounced U-install...

I was pretty good win computers when i was a child. I remember some child at my school said that he can increase the capacity of a hard-disk.

>>57396065
And this is not true why?

>>57399024
>on /g/
>have no basic understanding of CPUs, IPC and frequency

>>57399122
>"IPC"
Commonly measured with proprietary benchmarks, or worse, proprietary video games. Short: useless.

>>57395314
>post something on 4chan for the first time
>someone calls me a newfag
>how do they know?

>>57385280
Those fucking idiot magazine articles are the source of so much wasted time explaining it correctly.

>>57383446
>viruses are living beings
>processing power and storage are unlimited because bits are immaterial, hardware just comes capped from the factory so the makers can profit more
>if I lie on "You need to be above X years old to access this site" dialogs I'm gonna get caught

>>57387949
/>test

>>57384671
>TEST

<blockquote>
>test
</blockquote>

>>57400911
>>57401800
Isn't it past your bedtime?

This comes from when I built my first computer at 11:
>I had a Prescott P4 with HT
>Boot obongo (9.04, I think. It had Gnome2, that's for sure)
>Open system monitor
>TWO CPUs??!! HOLY SHIT
>I thought there was a second P4 under the northbridge heatsink for three months

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>>57394727
Too bad you don't 'know' proper grammar yet.

>>57383489
Its pretty stupid. Looks like shit if the dog isnt in front of you. Anyone that knows how to walk a dog knows they shouldnt be infront of you.

>>57392013
i thought all programs are written in binary

>>57400900
>viruses are living beings
Not even real viruses are living beings.

>>57402029
Back when I was at school at first they were, then they were not, then it was a matter of scientific debate, then they were again and then I entered college and stopped having biology classes so fuck me sideways if I know anymore.

>>57384095
kek

>>57394916
https://soundcloud.com/chloeburbank/old-yeller

>>57388103
>>3D cartoons will never look better than Reboot
some actually looks worse, especially the pixar ripoffs

>>57383446
Hard drive size is determined by the physical size of the computer. Bigger is better is what I read in PCs for dummies.

In 1998 I was 11. I lined up the base units of my new Pentium 2 PC next to my old 486SX to compare sizes. I decided the Pentium 2 hard drive was shit because the base unit was smaller.

>>57383446
before i expanded the pic i thought it was the noose loo from the stock photos and was getting ready to have a hearty kek. very disappoint

>>57383819
>>57387902
Correction not everywhere is a America or a third world country

>>57395333
I still believe this. How do they really work then?

>be kid on computer
>sitting next to a black kid
>think he's actually just like me and not some subhuman ape

God I was a stupid kid

>>57400900
>processing power and storage are unlimited because bits are immaterial, hardware just comes capped from the factory so the makers can profit more
To some extent it's true

>>57401997
i thought all programs are written

I opened up EXE files in Notepad, saw all the weird encrypted contents and garbage characters, and assumed that people wrote software by typing random characters in Notepad and saving them as EXEs. I was also a huge Windows fanboy for no reason and cried when the support for Windows 2000 ended

I didn't know how to create shortcuts as a kid, but somehow I did know how to find the .exe file and copy it to the desktop.

>>57384378
>kek

>>57403454
Don't worry, some just learn faster than others. :^)

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>>57403834
>and cried when the support for Windows 2000 ended
Despite everything, it was the last worthwhile NT system. Don't think about this episode as of something silly, it deserved to be cried.

>make .html file in MS Word
>save it in "Network" folder as [website].com
>wonder why I couldn't access it

The little 'e' is the internet button.

Ethernet is some parallel internet thing with spoopy things in it, kinda like what normies think tor and the "deeeep web" are

>>57391030
> living in burgerland

>Testing.

I used to think you should only eject CDs at shutdown or reboot time

But then again that was the 1990s time of SCSI CD players so maybe it was the case indeed.

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>>57388630
Owned.

I used to think the AOL network in the 1990s was a significant improvement over the internet

>>57383446
Computers are for gaming.

>>57387189
The opposite is true though, infinitely bad programmers routinely write infinitely slow software

>>57388103
>your mouse had an actual tiny mouse inside that told your arrow where to go. The roller was his wheel that he ran in when he wanted to play
Awww, that's cute!

Actually, this whole thread is super cute

>>57386277
my dad got mad, thought I was up to shady shit on the family PC and smacked me when he got that error.

I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW TO WHITE TEXT REEEE

>>57395437
\>lemme try

>>57405434
> >benis

>16 gigs of ram is most I'll need
We all grew up a little bit

>>57384671
>what

>>57384666
˃What the fuck satan

When I was like 8 or 9 my dad had this guy from church over to help fix our computer and make it go faster and when I would type a website's name in and my browser automatically finished it I though it was the guy on the other end in his office helping me out so I would type "thanks Dave" in the URL box

Also I used to delete almost everything on the computer thinking it would make it faster which is why my dad had to call that guy over in the first place

>>57384228
>how do you witetexts

>not that hard desu

>test

>>57403202
google transistor

If I'm not much mistaken it creates a magnetic "hill" that resists current flow within itself when charged

>>57405716
but it is. ever heard of virtual memory?

>>57383489
The leash should be transparent.

>Be 1998
>Thought that by copying the programs folder from Program Files I could install it on other computers.
>Learned my lesson on the first attempt...

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>>57406516
the only thing wrong here is that it doesn't work

apple got it right

>>57384228
I used to know a neat trick like this but an update fucked it up. You used to be able to greentext mid sentence on other boards by placing empty spoilers right before the meme arrow. It got fixed though.

[color=white]>testing[/color]

>>57384228
rick james
>rick james
>rick

>james

Back when I had a computer but no internet I'd browse through the Windows folder hoping to find a game. And I actually did once, that old ass wizard platform game. I guess my dad put it in there. It was pretty exciting.

>>57406326
that's the jist of it if you're referring to FETs

>>57386431
oldfag detected <3

>>57395338
mein neger

>>57398394
>australian

>>57406538
s/apple/nextstep

>>57384437
RAM was invented by the jews to slow the advancement of disk drives.

>>57384826
lol

>>57386707
I'm always freaking out the copyright police might show up.

>>57398432
Yes, faggot.

>I thought when the computer said "Illegal Command" I would get reported to the police
>My brother had a hot wheels game on a floppy disc and I washed it in the sink because it was dirty

>>57400900

>>hardware just comes capped from the factory so the makers can profit more
this is in fact true for some calculators. you can press a combination of keys to reset the calculator to have all the functionality that its hardware supports. only that some of the keys symbols will not match what the software is actually expecting. Manufacturers do this because is cheaper to downgrade the software and just mass produce the same hardware for the calculator, than changing the board.

>>57384228
fuck

>f

>͏epic

>Random access memory is called that because you acces it randomly
This is was the "IT teacher" at my school taught.
JUST

>>57406538
The one thing i hate about macs in general is that almost every fucking anyone that makes anything mac related supplies it as a DMG. Fucking iconfactory giving me all these dmgs that are all named download (###).dmg. Given that i downloaded them 5 years ago i have no fucking idea whats what.

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>>57383446
>cern would create a black hole that could end the world
>mp3s lose quality over time
>you could transcode to gain quality
>java and flash was the same thing
>ripping a cd removed the songs on it

>>57401955
But you can move your wrist to where the dog is and the gun is always pointed at the dog so it's funny

>>57404982
I suspect the whitetexting anon used a Unicode character that looks like > but isn't >. It's the only straightforward rational explanation I can think of. Now good luck finding that character...

>>57411549
Or perhaps, and actually more likely, there is a non-printing character in front of a normal >. Unicode has several of these characters, and even ASCII has some, although I'm not sure you can input the later easily in a text box.

>>57411576
Zero Width Space character

>>57411619
Ah, yes, this one! It's definitely the character that makes sense the most. Well thought anon.

>>57386802
>2016
>watching south park

chronologically,

>computers can solve any problem but don't because problems = money
>there is only one programming language and it looks like the screens from the matrix
>it's possible to know everything about computers and if you do you make lots of money
>being good at computer games means you're good with computers
>computer science is just programming, algorithms, and data structures

and for the longest time, i thought that pursuing a CS degree would get me a job
haha thats funny right a job haha CS major haha kill me

>>57383489
You'd just get yourself shot by police. No wonder you idiots keep getting shot in the streets by your own law enforcement if you think shit like this is a "good idea".

>>57384228
>test
>test
>test

I thought the monitor was the computer.

>>57386829
I mostly thought that every frame was prerendered and that ot took a loooong while to make a game

>>57391015
Dragon's Lair is the shit

>>57383446
That newer computers were always superior than older ones.

btw, I having a pizza in the oven and racaptcha told me to select all the pizzas.

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germany here. when i was like 8 years old i thought the german word for prirate copy would be "rauchkopie" , meaning "smokecopy". i thoght that you would have to burn one diskette on the bonfire and you would hold another disk into the upcoming smoke, then you got the data on it.
i am thinking now that smokecopy would be a good bandname.

>>57413477
I have no words anon