>you come home to this What do?

>>57368381
Laugh at my neighbour and celebrate that finally the stench of week old piss bottles from next door will go away.

>>57368381
360 turn to airport.
live in china for the rest of my days

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>>57368381
Run back to your car like a wet pussy!!!

>>57368381
i dont own cpus
id ask them where they found those cpus they are carrying

>>57368381
Turn around 360 Degrees and walk away.

>>57368381
Realise I am using terrible old dell hardware and an hero immediately.

Fucking CIA niggers, put my stuff back right now!

>>57368431
Kek

Attack. No FBI in my country.

Assuming it was my countries I'd just be pretty mad they're taking my shit. I don't do anything illegal so there's no worry. I have read a lot of the time even when you're found to have done nothing wrong ever you have trouble getting your shit back which is fucked.

AM I BEING DETAINED?

>>57368381
Flee the country.

>>57368381
>What do?

Nothing. I keep all my drives encrypted in case my computers are stolen. Given the amount of financial and personally identifiable information people tend to keep on their computers, full-volume encryption should be standard practice to subvert damages from theft.

As for the FBI, they're perfectly welcome to waste its time and resources trying to brute-force my decryption keys, only to find there's no incriminating content on my computers to begin with. Just don't forward me the bill.

>>57368480
i do this too but i keep encryption key written in a notebook somewhere in the house
i assume fbi would find that too
or would they? idk how they operate no fbi in my country

Become an hero.

>>57368425
please be bait

>>57368381
Laugh as they drop the PCs and get to the ground because the battery backed timed popcorn machines inside the PCs are going off.

Then ask them for a warrant because I have done nothing and get a nice paycheck from the FBI for new hardware because they fucked up.

>put on my fbi jacket
>hop into car once they finished putting everything inside
>drive away

>>57368611
Kys

Ask for their Warent and then laugh my ass off as they find nothing even remotely illegal and lose their case

>>57368381
Greet my colleag-

I mean, go oh noes!

>>57368381
Turn the fuck around and make my way to the airport.

There may still be enough time to flee the country.

>>57368480
Yeah they're not gonna spend time, effort and money on brute forcing when they could drug you and hit you with a lead pipe until you tell them your password is R4inB0wDasH13

Call the cops. FBI has no authority in my country

Time to hunt some FBI niggers

Call the cops. FBI have no jurisdiction in my country.

>>57368757
This

>>57368381
hope they like animated horse porn. Cause they're the proud owners of several tb of it now.

>>57368381
Wonder why they're carrying two computers when I only have one computer in my house

>>57368381

"OK guys, just put the towers in the living room, I'll take care of the rest."

Wow, those guys from "Find, Buy & Indulge" are really so much better than amazon. I'll give them a good customer review.

>>57368941
You've been framed.

They monitor everyone and have backdoors everywhere, if they say you have CP it no longer matters if you do or don't.

First mistake is they unplugged every thing
All my drives are encrypted
>good luck

and to everyone saying
>dey just going to hit u till you tell them the password

That is why the very first thing I would do is inform as many people as possible that the FBI
took my computers and possibly me into custody.

As much as everyone here thinks the FBI is going to torture me, it becomes increasingly
hard to do when everyone knows that the last people to see me were the FBI

also
>implying I have anything illegal on my laptops
>not securing your digital life

>>57370196
They can hold you indefinitely until you give them your passwords, so enjoy rotting away for the rest of your life either way.

https://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/2016/04/28/suspect-who-wont-decrypt-hard-drives-jailed-indefinitely/

open fire

>>57368381
I'm not hillary clinton or one of their corrupt partners

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>>57370275
That sure would be unfortunate.

Remind myself that Clinton will be prosecuted and that leaving the country will help prevent me from committing suicide via two shots to the back of the head.

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>>57368431
>>57368414
kek

>>57368840
How much u get paid to shitpost on /pol, /g/ and /x/?

>>57368431
>>57368414
It's
>turn around 360 degrees and moonwalk away
You goddamn casuals

>>57370552
>>>/r/eddit

>>57370564
>>/f/acebook
>>/t/umblr

Scream "AMERICANS ARE ROBBING MY HOUSE" so the whole neighborhood can take out their AK's and shoot Amerifats who are fucking around in the wrong country.

>>57368912
>FBI have no jurisdiction in my country.

lmao, yeah dude, the US can't get you bud

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>>57368409
>>57368480
>>57368612
>>57368935
kek

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>>57368381
Laugh because they grabbed the wrong one as my real computer is in the hidden room

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>>57370578
>not knowing how to link boards properly

reddit detected

>>57368381

Get elected president.

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Onii-chan, you've been downloading unlicensed anime that no western anime businesses have bought the rights to yet!

You should be paying upwards of $100 to import the Japanese Blu-ray releases that only contain three episodes per disc.

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>>57370695
Try and stop me, Japanese FBI imouto

>>57368381
Laugh at them because they're unable to lift the damn thing up
My pc is a little heavy

>>57370642
That's so cool. I need one, but first i need a house.

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>>57370671

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>>57368907
Too bad. The have pretty good pub grub.

>>57370275
any encryption suites out there with duress passwords?

>>57368612
It's usually not worth the effort or legal fees to fight for getting the hardware back.

>>57368612
>battery packed timed popcorn machines
kek

>THEY TOOK MY JOB

>disks are fully encrytped with a 128 character randomly generated password
>dd if=/dev/random of=/dev/sdx before OS was evem installed
>encrypted usb stick that contained passwords to encrypted disks "disappeared"

Good luck with that, FBI.

>PC boot screen looks like it's infected with crypolocker
>PC set to nuke itself if encryption password is entered incorrectly

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>>57371271
>>dd if=/dev/random of=/dev/sdx before OS was evem installed

This guy knows his shit

>female body inspectors
Why pictures of female bodies on my computers are of such interests to them?

>"How do you do, fellow agents?"

>>57368414
360 turn would make you stay at the same position

>>57368381
There's a fucking protocol where somehow all my internet history was leaked and they found that time when i watched Cheese Pizza and later i dissapear from the internet and the world for about two years and i destroy fucking everything and that copypasta with green arrows, and such.

>>57368381
>Dell desktops

Laugh hard at my neighbor's shitty computers

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>>57368431
I'd do a 720

Config a nuke key, write the key in a post-it, save the post-it in a drawer, w8 until they insert the key in the bootloader, laugh

>>57371604
you

Am I free to go?

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I am a sovereign citizen. You have no authority. Desist at once. I am a sovereign citizen. [repeating intensifies]

>>57368381

"thank god they didn't take away my pissbottles"

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>>57370275
and you call your country a democracy

>>57370275

what happens if you are in jail so long you forget your passwords?

>>57372474
You will never get out.

>>57372496

but if you don't have any recollection of the thing you were put into jail for in the first place, how can they keep you in for information you don't have? this sounds like an abuse of power and goes against the spirit of the law.

>>57372566
welcome to the United States

>>57372355
most [politically educated] people don't, anymore. the rest vote for candidate H or candidate D of the same system.

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>>57368480
Pic related

>>57368381
me on the left

>>57368902
>>57372782
No, CIA is the one that beats the information out of you.
FBI just shoots you.
NSA doesn't need the password, since they already know everything you have on your hard drive.

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>>57372912
>NSA doesn't need the password, since they already know everything you have on your hard drive.

>>57368381
Fear of shit like this happening is why I have two icy docks in my machine. Whenever I leave home, I pop out the drives and take them with me.

Keep driving
Empty my bank accounts
Make a new life in Vietnam

>>57373421
Actually fuck that
I don't have anything that would get me more than a few years anyway
I'll just take the prison sentence and spend all my time eating and learning for free

>>57368381
I only like bbw milf and granny porn, so I know I'm OK.

>>57368501
Just write the encryption key down in a way that only you can decode.

So if your key is
Niggers&Jews

Write down
Dindu&GreatestAlly

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>>57373494
>Dindu&GreatestAlly
>GreatestAlly
>Greatest
>Ally

>>57373455
Yeah, right...
youtu.be/JzanpnJwd1A

>>57371150
That's why you just get a check worth several times the hardware

>>57368381
All my important stuff is on my laptop which is full disk encrypted and I usually have with me most of the time.

However I have a desktop hooked up to my TV with an external 4TB where I keep all my movies, unencrypted. They could probably throw me away in the slammer for 2000 years for all those movies alone.

Thank God for VPN's though.

laugh because they didn't get the drive taped inside the air vents

>>57368381
i'd turn 360 degrees and walk away

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>>57373542

>>57373598
*starts the van*

>>57371922
You can be quite certain they would clone the drives before trying that. Something unclonable would need to be involved.

A smartcard, I suppose? A java card with effaceable storage programmed to securely store a key and a duress password. Bootloader talks to card, sends it the password which has been entered. Card responds either with the key if the password was correct, an error if it was wrong, or silently erase the key if it was the duress password.

Actually it would be best if it rejected the duress password twice and on the third attempt said "Too many failed attempts, wiping". That gives you a plausible reason for the setup, deniability, and also saves you if you screw up and type the duress PW yourself.

Call Harvey Specter

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>>57370671

>>57368501
My encryption key consists of a specific pattern of numbers combined with letters from the titles of the books I own on my bookshelf. I designed an algorithm to choose them. I have no kids and my wife doesn't read so they won't get messed up, and I sure as hell don't know it by heart. Anyone comes to my house I rearrange my books and its lost for good.

Pretty neat I think

>>57373747
Oh hi honey, I was bored so I alphabetised your bookcase. Enjoy!

>>57373747
Yeah, that's a good story to tell the cops, while actually knowing your password.

Nothing. All my relevant shit is on a luks encrypted partition. Have fun.

>>57374272
Sir it looks like you have a password on your computer. Please write down the password for us sir.

>>57373620
Ideally, the duress password would display a different set of data, that isn't quite as damaging as the real data, but still something you could plausibly want to keep hidden. That way, you can pretend to fully cooperate with the authorities. They'll never know that the child pornography was just a decoy for stolen nuclear launch codes.

>>57374464
I'm sorry but that's a Microsoft backup partition that I don't have access to as a regular user, please ask them for the administrator keys

>>57374464
Give them a fake password.

>>57368381
Either laugh because they are wasting time and resources on somebody innocent, or flee the country if I think somebody is trying to frame me for something.

laugh as I caress my tails USB stick that I always carry in my pocket

>>57374558
>Tails
wew lad
Qubes is complicated but much better, especially if you combine it with Whonix

>>57374589
why go thru all that work if tails is enough? think efficient

>>57373560
>lol prison rape xD

>>57373620 (Me)
Actually, you wouldn't need a separate duress password. Just make sure it wipes after a few tries. The number of attempts allowed should be randomised after every successful login so that you can truthfully tell them you don't know how many chances there are. When they ask for the password, just give them some permutations of a complicated fictional password. You can plausibly claim you forgot the exact one.

>>57374509
TrueCrypt attempted this. I think it would be difficult to make it convincing though. They would look for access patterns. File modification times, browser history. If you use the computer all the time and the hidden partition hadn't been touched in months, it would be really obvious.

>>57374515
Our IT guy says you're talking shit, sir. This is obviously your main partition and Microsoft has nothing to do with it. Provide the password or we will hold you in contempt of court.

>>57374537
That password didn't work sir. Please provide the correct one, sir, we don't have all day.

Not care because I have full disk encryption on every single device.

>>57374627
tails is a fucking joke when it comes to security.

>>57374952
source? do you even know what you're talking about?

Cry because i just barely afforded this pc after 10 years of pentium 4

>>57368381
>"Come home to this"
>Implying I ever leave the house

>>57374917
Not good enough. If we assume you can't present a plausible (as in actually seriously real-world plausible, not just "legal loophole" plausible) decoy partition (see >>57374509 ), you need to convince them of one of the following:
>the password has been lost; i.e. you relied on a physical mnemonic which has been destroyed >>57373747
>the data or key has been destroyed >>57373620
You would also need to convince them that you have no backups.

It is then likely that you would be charged with destruction of evidence. If the likely penalty for that is less than what you would get if they found your data, it would be worth it. If not, then realistically, your best bet is to genuinely cooperate.

>>57375177

Except that in the US and the UK you have the right to not incriminate yourself, and so you cannot be forced to give up a password unless there is reasonable cause to suspect you of terrorist acts.

Since Im not a terrorist, the coppers cant touch me.

>>57368381
Any data that could implicate you should be stored on an extremely well hidden, encrypted micro sd.
They can't force you to decrypt data they don't know exists.

Alternatively, store the key on a physical medium that would be destroyed without your intervention. Depending on how you implement this, you could be subject to charges of destruction of evidence.

>>57375294
I'm not sure about the US, but
>UK
Britbong here and you are wrong.

>The Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000 (RIPA), Part III, activated by ministerial order in October 2007, requires persons to supply decrypted information and/or keys to government representatives without a court order.
>Failure to disclose carries a maximum penalty of two years in jail, or five years in the cases of child indecency.
>The provision was first used against animal rights activists in November 2007, and at least three people have been prosecuted and convicted for refusing to surrender their encryption keys, one of whom was sentenced to 13 months' imprisonment.

>>57371271
>/dev/random

Laughed. Was it a 512KB drive, or did you really wait 3 days to fill up your 1TB drive ?

>>57368381
>laugh as giant magnets in doorframe erase my nigger distro of linux

>>57368381
Whip out my glock and start shooting

>>57375379
If you feel like sharing... what was on the drive, and what if anything were you charged with?

>>57375379
Damn.
[spoiler]What was on the drive?[/spoiler]

>>57368414
This,

Just half the degrees in the turn and choose a backwater country. Maybe Guatemala.

>>57375379
What was the host OS? Protections against this exist and should have been used by Truecrypt.

>>57375490

Windows

Truecrypt saved the password in the page file.

>>57368381
Sir I lost it on a boating accident.
Oh wait, wrong board.

>>57375385
>implying waiting 3 days to make your encrypted partition look no different from the rest of your disk in the event it's confiscated by the FBI is long

Come on, man.

>>57375294
>suspect is a frequent visitor of 4chan, a known cyber-terrorism haven
>it's imperative to national security that we search these drives

Magnets, bitch.

>Saved random Hillary Clinton emails
>Computer is destroyed by DOJ

>>57374509
>>57373620
My idea for this is to make an encryption method that does pass/ fail but instead decrypts the data regardless.

Not only will this
1) take forever since theyll have to wait for each decrypt
but
2) it also means in the ""chance"" that they decrypt it properly there's no way of knowing if that was the actual data set, since many other decryptions will most likely result in a "legit" set of data showing

>>57375572
Would /dev/urandom REALLY have been that much worse?

>>57375644
Probably not, but I'd rather go with something actually random.

Haha they forgot my secret drive lol lmao

>>57375623
Nope, that won't work. You don't decrypt the entire drive at once when you unlock it. They just need to look for common filesystem structures.

As for 2), if you think it's possible for a gibberish decryption to somehow randomly resemble a structured filesystem with meaningful data... I'm afraid you don't understand probability.

Double check that I didn't take the red that morning.

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it really looks like that woman is taking my irc server away

>>57375665
>implying /dev/urandom is not 'random enough'
You need to read on the subject though. This all "/dev/random is waiting for entropy so it's better" thing really needs to die.

>>57368381
I'm blaming my /b/ posting kid brother who I'm sure has accidentally broken more laws than I ever have on purpose.

>>57375693
there will undoubtedly be more than one decryption that results in a "system-like" appearance

>>57368381
>Dell Dimensions
holy fuck i didn't know i was that poor

>>57375779
I just don't want to underestimate the FBI.

>>57371604
>being this new

>>57368431
when will this meme end :(

>>57370642
>almost 2017
>still using hidden rooms

nigga it's in the clouuuuuuud!

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>unplugging my computers
they have better frozen that RAM

>>57375999
>image doesnt even fit post

anyway, do you <i>really</i> do such a thing with something like tails?

Its honestly impossible to be productive with such an environment

>>57375999
this

>put everything on ramdisk
>hook computer up to a battery backup (in case of power outage)
>everything's erased the minute they unplug it

>Please give us your encryption keys
>"It's your name and surname, officer"
>tries it
>worked
just try to imagine this guy's face

"uhh... my neighbor probably got into my wifi and downloaded a bunch of chinese cartoon porn onto my system so that's why"

>>57376099
lel
>create nop "encryption" that just checks for something that looks like a name
>unlocks when they use their name
Unless they actually look at the bootloader's code it should be relatively easy to make something similar to this.

>>57376018
>he doesn't know what a cold boot attack is

>>>/r/eddit

>>57376023

wouldn't work. government has some sort of pro edition of recuva that is obviously not for the public. i know this because my uncle is an fbi agent who works in the DC

>>57376023
>Battery included
Wow, that'll show 'em

>>57376159
>not sardering your ram to your mobo and encrypting your ram

>>57375986
>Don't store your sensitive data in the house, where the MAN might get to it.
>Instead, store it on a remote server, where they already have it!

>>57376177
>We found nothing on his computer. Time to carefully cut it into very thin slices and go over them with an electron microscope.
>Or we could just plant evidence.
>Or, fuck, let him go. Early lunch, anyone?

>>57375986
>almost 2017
>not keeping your cloud in a hidden room

>>57368381
Swallow my shark microsd card

>>57376177
No amount of software can extract data that's simply not there anymore.
Shit gets erased on RAM when the power is cut.
>>57376249
First thing they'll do is turn your comp off by unplugging it...
If you're talking about the motherboard battery cell, you take that out beforehand obviously.
>>57376292
>they already have it
whats is encryption?

Besides it's still better for them to search trough millions of VM's in the cloud then simply run your hard drive in their reader.
Plus they'll need extra warrants for anything that's not physically in your house when they raid you.

>>57376418
>Shit gets erased on RAM when the power is cut.
False. It takes few minutes for RAM content to disappear. If you cool it down, you have few hours to make memory dump.

>>57368381
damn wheres the vacation at

>>57368381
go inside and comply.

all of my illegal shit is in the cloud anyway

>>57368381
I'd be wondering where they got all those Dell workstations and CRTs from.

>>57372204

I DO NOT CONSENT!

>>57376418
They actually won't unplug it, they have additional power supplies and cables with them so they can secure computers while keeping them running. You're just saving them the trouble by hooking it up to a backup battery.

Call my lawyer. Isn't that the obvious first thing to do?

>>57376451
not him but interesting, why not encrypt the ram then?

I'd call Aunt Hillary and tell her some FBI guys need to disappear.

>>57376498
>encrypt the ram
Data has to be decrypted to somewhere to be used.

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>>57368381
Donate to the Clinton Foundation

>>57376451
>Shit gets erased on RAM a few minutes after the power is cut.
Better?

And as for freezing, i don't think they'll be able to plug the power, unscrew your case, rip your ram out, and then get it to a certain temperature to stop it from deteriorating all within a few minutes.

Maybe if they're prepare specifically for doing so, but I bet the average run of the mill FBI guy won't even bother seeing if you're logged in or not before pulling the power.

>>57376498
http://security.stackexchange.com/questions/8278/os-with-encrypted-ram

tldr: You need special hardware to do that and an OS that can support it, and probably applications that support it, too. Blackberry phones can encrypt RAM while in-use, but I don't think iPhones or any of the android based phones can do it.

>>57376498
where do you keep the decrypted data when you need it

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>>57368381
>Not hiding your secret files by making a program that will reconstruct them based on strings and dependent on the date time of your system

at least put in effort to hide your shit if you're gonna hide it

Blow the detonator.

I use bitlocker to keep my data secure against theft.
I am pretty sure the government has a backdoor to every major disk encryption out there, so I just use BitLocker because it's comfy.

>>57376557
so it is possible, its just never implemented? Curious about this blackberry thing, id imagine theyre ridden with other backdoors however

>>57376508
You could use timed decrypts, like have part of your ramdisk accessible (decrypted) for a certain amount of time after entering the password, then your system would re-encrypt everything once the time limit is up.

Sure it would be resource intensive but still better then nothing.

Or even better, un-mount the entire encrypted ramdisk too after but still keep the system registers (ei so that the OS will not overwrite that part of the memory).

This way they wont even be aware of the ramdisk without knowing the corresponding memory addresses for it.

>>57376557
You need special hardware to hardware encrypt-decrypt a RAM (the entire thing not just the ramdisk part).
But you can still mount the ramdisk (just part of your ram) as a regular drive and then use software encryption on the content itself.

>>57376498
>>57376557
AMD zen can do this, apparently.

>>57368381
Thank them for taking out the trash

>>57376702
source? it would need an os to control it too, does the cpu actually have to be that specialised?

>>57376901
I mean that zen can just straight-up encrypt data in RAM. The OS does need to to support it to be able to mark which pages to encrypt, etc.

https://www.phoronix.com/scan.php?page=news_item&px=AMD-Secure-Memory-Encryption

http://wccftech.com/amd-zen-encryption-sme-sev-hw-based-sha/

It's not quite clear to me whether total encryption is supposed to be practical or if it's only meant to be used on very sensitive pages (i.e. keys).

>>57376977 (Me)
Better link: http://amd-dev.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wordpress/media/2013/12/AMD_Memory_Encryption_Whitepaper_v7-Public.pdf

Yes, full encryption is possible. Still has to be enabled by the OS, which means some data starts off unencrypted. As long as it's enabled before you have to enter your password/provide your keyfile, that shouldn't be an issue.

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>>57376023
>>57375999
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erq4TO_a3z8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-G8sEYCOv-o

https://www.cru-inc.com/products/wiebetech/hotplug_field_kit/

>>57368381
lawyer up and buy some new gear i guess

>>57375909
You're the only newfag here

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>>57372782

>>57371328
fucking 329 hours later...

there are faster random data to platter methods but i guess it illustrates the point

>>57377982
>>57371328
besides, just get ssd with hardware encryption and change the key and the data becomes random data