Fucking with a housemate

>not living alone
you did this to yourself

Hate fuck her

>>56937038
It was debate, wasn't it? He wanted to watch the debate?

Also this kind of sounds like more of an >>>/adv/ question. Don't mess with her shit if she has any means of screwing you over too. If you're male, she does by default.

Tell her to install gentoo

>Living with strangers

Does somebody have that raspberry pi guide on how to change all images on a web page to a set of images stored locally?

>>56937091
Not the debate

And thats why I want to fuck with the router and her tech, she only has so many brain cells to use and most of them get used to be an absolute twat so she has no understanding of technology in the slightest

Last night she was convinced the pinhole restart button on the router was the WPS button

>>56937106
U can do that using a half decent mitm program

Do all these things then say its for her own good

>>56937106
You can also do that on your phone using a network exploit kit for android I can't remember what its called though

>>56937038
>She
Take pics of her showering/ using the bathroom and post them here

>>56937038
Shit in her pants. Like all the time. Make it a hobby.

Be sure to be really stealthy so she never finds out who keeps doing it.

>>56937066
this

>>56937066
Checked

Give her your systemd.

>>56937193
>>56937066

yeah, what he said

>>56937038
Here's what you do.

Keep hiding open salt containers in places she'll find them. Make sure you know where the house Salt is at all times, so you can play dumb. Hide it in her bag, on the toilet, on top of the ceiling fan etc. Then up the ante. Fill her Shampoo with salt, dump like 2 containers in her bag. Put salt packets in all her shoes, etc. Then, when she's had a long day at work, and just wants to go to bed, hide her pillow, having replaced it with a bag of pool salt in her pillowcase. NEVER admit to this.

Post here her used panties

>>56937171
csploit, formerly dsploit

>>56937281
Then, when she finally blows a gasket over it, ask her why she so salty.

>>56937281
This

>>56937038
use your words you fucking pussy beta faggot

tell her to fuck off and change the channel

>>56937281
>all these flavors and you...

>>56937281
Hilarious, but there's a few problems.

Not as techy as I was hoping

There's only 5 people in the house, pretty quick to narrow down who it is

And she has such a short temper she would lose her shit before I could even get to the shoes

Hi I'm new in this website.

Put shaving powder in her shampoo so her hair starts to fall out

Go to the bathroom trash can and take some pics of her used pads and post them in this thread

>>56937129
openDNS and disable all her fav websites

>>56937344
Doesn't need to be techy.

5 people is perfect. Make sure everyone is in on it, and that nobody will snitch.

Comedy gold

>>56937381
It's honestly not a very good idea, it's too easy to get caught. OP wants tech stuff because she will be completely dumbfounded

>>56937415
Tbh that would dumbfound me alot more than most /g/ related pranks.

>does the salt thing
>replaces all of her DVDs with copies of Salt

>>56937361
BUMP

>>56937038
Man you sound like such a bitch. And the dude that said he was gonna be using the TV also sounds like a bitch. Can't believe you are letting some annoying cunt be the alpha of the house.

>>56937465
You need to leave, we'll be fine, you should just go.

>>56937350
kys

>>56937361
>>56937193
These t b h op

>>56937038
scan network using nmap, see her computer/iphone ip and dos it with hping3.
this syntax:
hping3 -c 10000 --flood [ip of device]
you might want to set up a dedicated machine to leave it on for 24/7

>>56937648
I dont want to just straight up deny her access because she will just bitch at the landlord about how we need a new router. I'd rather have it work for it but just make her experience super shitty. I could block websites but that hurts my usage too. Like we both use YouTube etc.

Command+option +f5
Invert colors
Quick and annoying.

>not raping a bitchy female into submission

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You already know what to do OP

Figure out her password if she is as dumb as you say and install a hidden bitcoin miner setup to use 85% of the MacBook. Not high enough to make her notice right away but high enough so it will slow down her machine when she opens 3 Facebook tabs. Also limit her speed to something like 40 kb/s make it usable but annoying as fuck.

Also, pee on her shampoo and drug her food and drink every now and then so she has explosive diarrhea

>>56937038
>implying any half decent compiler won't just optimize this down to number--

>>56937350
>>56937624
Fuck off newfags

>>56938163
I almost forgot. When she is going to shower, put a hard sugary candy on the showerhead so she will be sticky when she finishes and showering again wont solve it

>>56937038
Lol, you are the one acting like a bitch.
I bet you are the fat weeaboo who no one likes.

>>56937990
Kek

How about you just deal with her like an adult.

But in all seriousness, put sand in her bed or something.

>>56937281
fuck, I laughed way too hard at this. I'd do this to my shithead of a roommate but I'd never be able to get away with it because I just can't keep a straight face while rusing people

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This is like an irl shotpost.
Beautiful.

>>56937038
>Living with a female
You did this to yourself senpai

>>56938322
Fuck this gay earth.

Meant for
>>56937281

Also
>shotpost

>>56937038
block facebook on router

>>56937281
this is autistic

>>56937295
fucking kek

>>56938345
You're a failure.

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>>56938406
>implying I'm unaware

>living with 5 unrelated people
Lmao @ ur life

>>56937038
Find out the MAC address for all her devices, then set timed throttle limits in the router for all of them. Keep alternating it to piss her off. Going from 10m downtimes, to 20m, 30m, 1hr, etc.

If she complains, show her it works fine on all your devices, and that it must be her problem. When she's starting to lose it, suggest buying a new router and then set it up to do the same thing. Either way she ends up losing a bunch of money buying new stuff that you will also sabotage, or she moves out, or both.

>>56938493
This. Tell her Apple sucks and show her the Thinkpad

Kick her out of the house?

>>56937038
Why are you living in a mixed gender house? Is she someone's girlfriend?

>>56938493
The router definitely doesn't support this, any way to do this with software?

>>56937038
>void
Is he programming in VI/VIM like some faggots here?

If she's such a dumb shit just install bonzi buddy on her mac if you can. That shit will annoy her to no end and near impossible to remove.

>>56938596
If your current router doesn't support this, you need a new router anyway. Just make sure she doesn't notice.

>>56937038
Hide a spg camera in bar of soap, leave it in shower, post her nudes online

>>56937066
gibe da systemd b0ss

>>56939246
*spy

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>>56938581
did you just assume their genders?

>>56939246
That's the worst idea I've seen for a spy camera

>>56937141
This.
Forge a CA certificate and install it on her laptop. Then you can MITM all their HTTPs traffic.

>>56937038
It sounds like you have many issues with this person. There are better ways of letting this person know how you feel than passive-aggressively interfering with her digital things. Assuming you and the other people in the house are not family, talk to your other housemates about this person. See how they feel about her as a housemate. Vent your frustrations to people that aren't anonymous Internet strangers. If they feel the same way, ask them to join you in having a serious talk with her. If they don't feel the same way, set up a time to talk with the housemate you have issues with and sit down and let her know how you feel. It's possible she's not aware of how she makes you feel, and she may be open to changing her behavior to get along better with you. You do live together, after all. If not, maybe it's time to move out. You can't force someone to act a certain way, so focus on things you have control over to better your situation.

>>56937038
Find the addresses for her devices. Block that shit on the router. Lock down router. There she no longer has internet access. To make this even more easy mode. You can find a list of connected devices on you're router. The list will include the devices Mac address, reverse search the Mac address in Google and it will tell you what kind of device it is. Ex Mac address ec:4a:67:54er:32 = MacBook pro. Then black list her shit. And it's done.

>>56937038
sudo rm -rf /* in her macbook

Or you can also take the HDD out of her MacBook and scan it for noods.

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I'm in a similar situation. Is it a viable option to make an EMF bomb and slide it under his door to fry all his shit?

>>56937281
Wtf is pool salt?

>>56937313
never do this OP, women will never listen and if you ever even think about escalating it physically she can and will ruin your life.

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>>56942657
That is a well thought out response..


Overruled.

>>56942657
Get off the internet doctor phil.

OP just throttle the shit out of her devices at random intervals.

>>56944709
Enjoy getting raped in court by your roommate + neighbors for potential damages to property, the FCC for unlawful interference of communication devices, and the government in general for being a domestic terrorist.

>>56937038

Well, you sound like a complete and utter coward.

Move out, get psychiatric counseling. You have grievous mental issues, and you need help.

>>56937093
install gentoo for her*
be a /g/entoman

>>56945757
What if I just get him blackout drunk and fuck him?

I can record it and blackmail him into being my sissy bitch slave to fuck whenever I want and lick my sweaty armpits?

>>56937648
you flood the entire network.

>>56937038
Holy fuck stop hitching about me 38th your internet friends you fag.

I clean my shit up but you get all the mad when I try to get close your stuff to clean and then you get mad when I don't clean it.
Wanna know why people? Because this retard has his pile of soda sitting around his bed, his fucking computer and the fucking bathroom. Why the fucking help you have soda cans on the bathroom you disgusting piece of shit.

Yet you are always taking my food, and when I complain you call me poor and start talking shit like "I will get you something later" and guess what, you never do. That's why I ask people for money, because most of the time I have to work all day without eating anything while you are sitting in your computer and watching twitch streams.

I'm sick because you put took my medicine and throw it away because apparently it looked like "drugs". Hell, I even show you my receipts and you told me "you will be okay, doctors always give placebos to people to make some extra money".

You have abused me, remember when you punched me because I was being too noisy talking with my mother after she told me my father died? Of course you dont, you are always telling misogynist jokes and making fun of me telling me to suck some dicks for fun.

All my electronics have been gifts of my dad before he passed away, you have even offered me $100 for my computer, my games and my phone.

You even take my stuff without asking me, you are always playing on my Xbox and when I try to be friendly and sit next to you you always pause the game and ask me what the fuck I want.
You change the Wi-Fi password every time I need to send stuff for university and you disappear so I miss the deadline, when you come back you always pretend you never intended it and you tell me "you should google how to reset the router".

Last night I was watching tv, yeah. But you told me you were gonna get home at 10pm and I asked you if that would be okay, you told me to do whatever I wanted

I bet OP is underage and trying to ask for advice about his sister.

>>56937066
/thread

>>56947195
Then you are there throwing stuff at me so I get off the tv, you hit my head and then I told you to fuck off.

Why don't you tell them all the stuff you guys do to me?

Tell them you cracked my iPhone because I was asleep and missed the alarm waking you up.

Tell them when you throw soda at my computer because I wasn't wearing headphones and my university video was too boring for you.

Tell them when you forced me to sleep in the street just because I forgot my keys in the morning and you wanted to teach me how to be responsible.

He'll tell them about that time you and the other guys tried to rape me because you "were drunk" and then punched my stomach when I tried to leave.

Yet you are calling me a bitch here and asking how to fuck with me?

>>56938596
You could with a pfsense vm but it's a bit of work

>>56937038
disable firewall(OS firewall, router firewall if you want her to eventually be a part of a botnet), also set the router login to default admin/pass if you want the botnet to be a sure thing(google it, or just dude admin as login and pass as password)
go to a fucked up porn site, disable adblocker, CLICK ON EVERYTHING
if you are prompted to download anything, download it. the hard part is getting a virus for a mac. it may take a while

Fucking ask /adv/ you idiot. They will tell you the obvious answer
>WHO HAS LEGAL RIGHT FOR THE PLACE I.E. HAS NAME ON RENTAL/LEASE AGREEMENT OR OWNS TITLE OF HOME?
>They call the shots. If "bitch" = answer you are fucked.
>If it's not "bitch" ask the head of the place to legally evict her i.e. 30 day notice to GTFO.

>>56947336
oh also in router settings, enable ipv6 and enable DMZ mode

>>56937038

Kick her off the island. Have a house meeting and evict her.

That is if your other housemates can grow a spine, testicles, and ovaries.