SCRUM

No, normies should fuck off. Just let me program in peace.

No. Agile programming is alright, but every other piece of HR higher up executive bullshit is just retarded.

>>56916879
This type of corporate shit is basically a way for middle management to harass code monkeys.
Don't fall for it

We do it and it's annoying as hell. First thing in tge morning and you're supposed to remember everything you did yesterday and have your entire next day planned. I barely remember what I ate for breakfast

>>56916879
Agile is nice but It depends how it is implemented. I like sprints, I like daily communication, but I think it is best to be loose about it and have it be at least mostly developer directed.

>>56916879
Fuck off. Startup and Silicon Valley shit like this are all intended to exploit people and design overpriced non free garbage software

>>56916901
This should be sticky'd to show people the kind of autists roaming /g/

>>56916879

Agile is a meme.

Try the Team Software Process from Carnegie Mellon.

>>56916879
CUM

IN

SCRUM

>>56917114
YOU'RE MUM

>>56916913

Seriously. Scrum, Agile, XP, Partner and all that shit is just a way to appear to do more while actually accomplishing less. I recently wrote an application solo in less time than than a four man PP team did and delivered a better product with the exception of unit testing.

>>56917668
Indeed. It's a great way not to overwork yourself (and your team).

>>56917576
you're*

Just like UML it may sound like a good idea at first but implementing it to the letter is fucking retarded. The "official way" of doing Scrum or UML is way too over-engineered to work with smaller teams and way too complicated to expect everyone in a big team to all know the "specs" by heart. Seriously, does ANYONE remember the meaning of all the different type of arrows used in an UML class diagram?
It's much better to base your development process on the good ideas of these methodologies and to trash the rest. Sprints are good, defining a list of features and assigning a cost to them while tracking their progress is good, calling features "user stories" for some reason is fucking retarded, tracking the progress of these features based on an arbitrary and rigid grid is counterproductive, burn-down charts don't show anything valuable and are a good way to make sure that your devs will always be in a rush and produce shitty unmaintainable code.

>>56917668
> with the exception of unit testing
Tell me anon, why how can you prove, that your project meets all the requirements? You have 5 min.

>>56917869
thats pajeet in QA's job

>>56916966
100℅ me

File: Oh-no.jpg (63KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 300x300px

>>56917915
>℅

How long are your scrums?

We have them for 30m MWF and it's totally reasonable

>>56916879
best advice I can give to any PM looking to get into agile is to learn scrum and then not do it. it's overkill for most teams.

most of the time, having frequent meetings (not daily). sprints should be loose and not strict deadlines. targets should be flexible.

>>56917869
>empirical evidence
>proof
>not writing your programs in functional languages and attaching an correctness proof for every algorithm

>>56917882
But currently pajeet is busy hunting a bug our customer found in the previous release. We have to make sure this incident will not happen again.
Collect all the bug reports from the previous release, and start testing!
If you fail, we have to outsource the development, because you clearly lost control over the codebase.

>>56918017
> implying I don't accept mathemathical proof.
But I don't think that's the case :)

>>56917915
>℅
what did he mean by this

>>56917915
>℅
the fuck anon
>100 care of me

>>56917813
>Seriously, does ANYONE remember the meaning of all the different type of arrows used in an UML class diagram?
t. someone who doesn't work with UML regularly

>>56916971
This. Although if anyone called "evangelist" comes your way, you're fucked.

>>56917668
That's not the point. You could do it because you're good. Corporate is not about good, it's about average. Everything is designed to favor average employees and average employees need SCRUM.

>>56922498

I know, but all these companies advertising that they are an agile workshop or whatever are really advertising that they are working to bring everything closer to mediocre.

>>56923007
>they are working to bring everything closer to mediocre
But that's what capitalism is all about, anon.