Apple car tech coming soon!

>>56715349
Well, from Apple Macintosh to Apple Maclaren. Apple os obsessed with "Mac" and "i".

Seems like Fisker could be a better idea since they could buy it at a discount. But I won't presume to know better than a billion dollar corporate overlord.

>Introducing the iCar, an innovation in automotive technology. This electric car can drive 17 miles on a single charge and features built in iTunes support. We've even had the courage to remove the brakes. Only $289,999

>>56715349
People that can't make it at as a Paypal customer service representative go to work at Apple as junior engineers. I'm serious, their standards are that low.

>>56715850
>Only $289,999
KEK.

Is Apple Maps still a disaster?

File: tumblr_manuu8ceef1rhptwbo1_1280.jpg (649KB, 841x627px) Image search: [Google]

649KB, 841x627px

>>56715950
That will come standard. LEL.

>>56715850
now that Tesla has done all the hard work of actually making electric cars cool, Apple can come, rip it off, distribute a shittier version and boast how they """""change everything, again"""".

>>56715349
I'd rather have a Tesla than an Faggle iCar tbqhfam

>>56715349
>It doesn't have seat belts.
COURAGE.

>>56716434
topkek

>The year is 2061
>Apple announced the Apple© appleCar™ 4
>It has a lithium battery that can go a WHOPPING 500 miles without charging
>The first appleCar™ had a measely 20% explosion rate, it has now been reduced to the incredible rate of 12% (5% error margin)
>You need to use the apple carCharge™ to charge the car, it goes at the lightning fast speed of 8 hours per charge (tops)
>The integrated apple carSafe technology will refuse to lock the doors, close the seatbelt or obey to any person not registered on appleSocial, the new apple social network only for applePhones user (the old iPhone brand got shamed when the phone came with literally nothing more than a pane of glass and an ultrasonic fingerprint sensor that broke when the glass was shattered in the slightest)
>The tesla superchargers won't connect to an appleCar™, and even if you tried, the car would explode
>There's a rare fueled version, but it needs special appleFuel™ with special nanobot identification inside, otherwise, the car won't even start.
>No keys needed, we have your face, and your phone, and your name, and everything.
>The car is only programmed to recognize other appleCar™s, it will just ignore other, lesser cars
>It's only 64 000$ for the two place model with 250 miles of range, the BEST option you can get is a four place, 500 miles of range for the incredibly low price of 120 000$
>Of course, trying to jailbreak it will automatically alert autorities of your illegal actions
>2061, when APPLE WON

File: hqdefault.jpg (12KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 480x360px

>>56716473
Keep dreaming.
Meanwhile kek....

>>56716473
And apple fanboys will eat this shit up because "government surveillance is fine when Apple does it"

File: 2000000mad.png (1MB, 1201x884px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1201x884px

>>56715349

FUCK. NO.

FUCK YOU Apple.

Yes, I am MAD.

>>56716434
ayylmao

>>56715349

apples icuckcar program is failing with mass resignations and this is their attempt to revive it

ayylmao
http://www.mobilemag.com/2016/09/20/apple-secret-car-project-hit-brakes-dozens-lost-job/

Dear fucking god please no.
The only decent large UK carmaker left not already in foreign hands.

>>56716434
How will appletards ever recover?

>>56716683
>http://www.mobilemag.com/2016/09/20/apple-secret-car-project-hit-brakes-dozens-lost-job/

Hahaha, now why didn't we hear about this?

>>56716697
Americans aren't foreign.

>>56715842
Fisker has far less to their patent portfolio.

>>56716030
>11 market st.
vs
>11 east market st.

wonder why its different :^)

>>56716683
Honestly if anyone thinks apple is going to release a car before 2022-25 are dumb.

This is a LONG term project, not something they're just throwing together to get out the door ASAP.

>>56716844
>Americans are the center of the world
He's talking about UK car companies in foreign hands
like america
who's not the UK
anymore
or is it
is life life
or is life death
i dont know
i want to sleep

>>56715850
>new car doesn't fit old charger
Can't wait.

>>56717757
Thanks for the keks

apple just fuckes everything with their prices.
and no way I am buying chink shit car

File: 1444085701113.jpg (189KB, 1006x441px) Image search: [Google]

189KB, 1006x441px

>>56715349
>Apple

File: 2011-subaru-mediocrity.jpg (14KB, 600x349px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 600x349px

>>56715349
Apple will never succeed at making cars because they have no design skills. Cars need good styling and that's the main point where Apple fails miserably.

>Their laptops are plain metal slabs
>Their tablets are plain metal slabs
>Their phones are plain metal slabs
So more than likely:
>Their cars will be plain slabs
Just imagine, /g/: A Car with no body-lines, no striking profile, no character. That will be the Apple Car. Even Pic-Related has some design inspiration, and it was the most boring car they could come up with.

>>56715950

Hello 2012.

>>56716030
>>56716879

That's fucking iOS 6 you retarded Pajeet. The Maps shit was over 4 years ago.

>>56718309

>Their laptops are plain metal slabs
>Their tablets are plain metal slabs
>Their phones are plain metal slabs

>I literally want form over function
>please make pretty ricer things

Kill yourself. Why does my laptop need to have Xxtr3me angular designs and a fucking spoiler on the top of the screen. Retard.

>>56718358
>The Maps shit was over 4 years ago.

Christ Apple is a fucking joke. 4 years and it's still a colossal pile of shit.

>>56718309
So audi basicslly which is succesful enough

>>56718396

Not sure if bait or legitimate terrible reading comprehension.

>>56718391
>He wants to drive around a plain metal box with no inspiration or character

I don't know if you're intentionally missing the point or legitimately retarded.

>>56715349
Poor McLaren they don't deserve a fate like that. Do it to BMW or Chrysler instead.

File: 2017-audi-r8-v10-plus_800x600.jpg (211KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

211KB, 800x600px

>>56718407
Nah, even Audi has some character, especially on their more-expensive models. They have a design philosophy for their cars as well with their semi-unique headlight and front-end designs. They know how to make a car look aggressive. Also they own Lamborghini remember and you can't accuse those of looking boring, so someone there knows their shit.

>>56716473
>supercharger
>electric motor
U wot m8?

Apple is the Ferrari of tech.

They do not innovate. They do not invent.

They just perfect.

They take existing tech (like smartphones) and perfect it, both design and functionality.

This is what /g/ doesn't get about Apple... all the hate stems for misunderstanding about what Apple does. Apple doesn't claim to innovate.

>welcome to le 2014 applefags huehuehue

No moron. We don't claim to own the latest tech. We just have the PERFECTED , POLISHED version of the tech.

When Apple creates a self-driving car, it will come later than others, it won't be the first, but it will be the Ferrari, the Lamborghini of self-driving tech.

Others will only compete with lower prices. Like with computers.

Now flame me, this is what I really think, not a bait. I will discuss any topic I raised and defend it rationally if anyone wishes to engage.

File: 1453647651624.jpg (280KB, 1013x1073px) Image search: [Google]

280KB, 1013x1073px

>>56718777
>it will be the Ferrari, the Lamborghini

File: Screen Shot 2016-09-21 at 6.22.55 PM.png (1MB, 2224x990px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2224x990px

>>56718777
>Apple doesn't claim to innovate

>>56718497

>I'm already imagining what something will look like which hasn't even been confirmed to exist
>he thinks any 'Apple car' won't be an automated tin can for sale in 2025
>he thinks self-driving cars will have any vastly different designs between themselves

Don't post, you absolute moron. Apple isn't making any manual cars if anything.

>>56718309

the apple car will include these features:

1. no user replaceable parts
2. modifying the vehicle in any way will void the warranty
3. otherwise interchangeable parts will be welded to the frame, such as the tires and the rim
4. software upgrades will disable key features requiring the "car owner" to replace otherwise functional parts
5. whereas other cars have three or four usb or data ports, the apple car will only have one
6. the car will be very compact and light, and will overheat frequently, causing the engine to self-throttle on the highway to 30 mph
7. the windshield will be more transparent than that of other cars, and it will have haptic digital capability, and it will shatter three times a year, requiring expensive replacement at apple dealerships

>>56718777
Well you are right about Apple and Ferrari being similar. They both do jack shit and sell overpriced products based on marketing and brand name alone.

>>56718863
topkek

>>56718837
>He thinks cars will magically stop having style when they start becoming automated.

Don't post, you absolute moron. People will still value self-expression even when they aren't driving.

>>56718826
>diversity = innovation!
Then why have they stopped innovating?

If anything the opposite appears to be true. Diversity starves innovation.

>>56715349
And so dies another British automaker. Why must all the good ones go?

>>56718927

How much 'expression' do you see in a fucking bus, or a train carriage? At that point self-driving cars will become less and less personal and most likely on some Uber shit. You're too autistic to even think about this and still think people are going to have *personal* self-driving cars. People who want personal cars will buy normal cars, obviously. People who want a ride don't care about some faggot self expression gay parade for 30 minutes when they want a ride somewhere.

>>56718358
https://discussions.apple.com/thread/7668443
ayylmao

>>56717710
>America isn't the center of the world

Yeah it's the center of the whole fucking galaxy, the only reason Brits have their shit island is because we Americans allow it

>>56719012
Brits don't care about nice cars.

>>56719706
How will mactoddlers every recover?

You idiots are still talking about this?

It's false, it's blatant bullshit.

Ron Dennis just wrestled McLaren back into his control; there's no way he'd sell it to anyone for a quick buck.


Either way, it's a racing team. The automotive and technology groups exist to pay the bills, which explains why they aren't technically "profitable".

If Apple really want McLaren's energy recovery systems, they'd simply get the Technology Group to consult for them, possibly even retaining a semi-permanent group of engineers. That is what they do, after all.

>>56715791
a macintosh is a type of apple

>>56718693
holy shit you are dumb. A supercharger for a Tesla electric car charges the battery. Get it, charges really fast. It's a supercharger? Fucking christ you are dense.

https://www.tesla.com/supercharger

>>56717976
Kek. I remember this QQ fest.

Tesla treats everyone who isn't a very high ranking employee like shit. Several of my colleagues considered working there, and wound up going with Amazon and Apple instead. College aerospace buddy wound up going with some government thing instead of Space-X as well.

Why the fuck would you work 85 hours a week for under 70 grand in the fucking bay area? You can live better scrubbing toilets in Denver for 35 hours a week.

>>56715349
Yes, but will it have a dock for my newton?

>>56723647
No it's not.