ITT /g/ owns Microsoft

>>56585521
make all products open source and become like red hat and offer technical support

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Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to GNU/Microsoft. The OS that pave the way to freedom, we'll stop supporting all other opertating systems as of right now. And all of our software will now be under the GPL Licenses!

Also, Anime Mascots!

Brick anyones PC who frequents /g/

Block anything regarding linux and anything relating to stallman

Spend all the money on various free and open source projects.

>>56585521
order killing of stallman and torvalds

Install gentoo

ITT : how to go broke and tank a company
autism edition

remove all nsa backdoors and bring back clippy

Trash Windows 10.

Immediately resurrect the Windows 7 code and work to make minor, but, careful changes to improve an already amazing OS.

>>56585521
Fire QA and release "Insider Previews" to cut cost.

>>56586306
So you'd do nothing.

>>56585521
>What is your first course of action?

Easy:

Ask Steve Ballmer how to fix Microsoft and then do the exact opposite.

>>56586318
Why, when users can do your work for you?
:^)

Start making Windows Phone the destination for Enterprise.
- Group Policy
- Allow administration, similar to Windows Professional / Enterprise
- Encryption and security from the ground up + FIPS compliance (to make it government-friendly)
- Deeper Outlook integration, syncing of contacts, calendars, Lync
- Phones with physical keyboards for easier email use
- Long-term support

If Microsoft played their cards right, they could dominate the government and Enterprise sector for phones, like Blackberry used to.

>>56586400
this

>>56585521
Port Visual C to Linux, begin making Microsoft Linux. Offer a free Kernel/VClib, users pay for Win32, D3D, appx, etc. support. Basically any option found in add/remove features section becomes a la carte. Home, Pro, Enterprise, Server and Ultimate versions are simply pre-packaged feature sets - users are free to buy Pro, and add elements of Enterprise. A "Workstation" build could be made of an Enterprise version with certain server elements added.
>>56586347
This would be a good start as well.

Poo in the loo policy

>>56586400
holy shit, that would be fucking awesome and they could totally do it if they didn't have such terrible business sense

>>56585521
SEND ALL PAJEETS BACK TO THE GANGES

>>56586446
Going after a <2% market?
Great strategy.

>>56586567
>SEND ALL PAJEETS BACK TO THE GANGES
SEND ALL THE WHITES BACK TO EUROPE

>>56586400
>Group Policy
You do realise group policy is cancer, right?

>>56586148

>>56585521
Stay the course while I take a 10 year vacation

>>56585665

you must go back to reddit you slivering jew fuck

>>56585521
Install gentoo

>>56585521
Fire all the programers aquired in the last 6 years.
Rehire all those who where previusly fired.
Buy out the ReactOS programers and give them a Job in microsoft allowing them to further their hobby OS into a fully working OS.
Reinforce the steriotype that Windows is a OS for Work.
Stop developing DX and buy out Vulkan and port it to the console market.
Make gamming on windows Impossible without a console.
Allow gaming on PC via the Console Hardware.
Make Office for the Desktop Free (Word,Excel and Powerpoint) limited to 3 pages of work each unless a license is bought and reinforce the DMR department to make it harder to crack but ultimately unintrusive for the user.
Make a Partnership with sony on the Console Market to make sure there is only 1 console on the market.
Force everyone to use the now Open Source Vulkan engine but charge on anyone who uses the binaries (ie end user will always have to pay a percentage).


Shit I have so much shit to change it doesn't fit.

>>56588481
Not really a threat though

>>56586400
>Start making Windows Phone the destination for Enterprise.
HP Elite X3

>Allow administration, similar to Windows Professional / Enterprise
SCCM 2016 is bringing this better, but Intune will do it, if you want to deal with TheCloud(tm).

>Encryption and security from the ground up + FIPS compliance (to make it government-friendly)
See above

>Deeper Outlook integration, syncing of contacts, calendars, Lync
What? This already exists.

>Phones with physical keyboards for easier email use
Subjective, but I suppose something like a Blackberry Passport running Windows could be cool, especially if there's actually a market for it.

>Long-term support
Coming Soon!(tm). The API unification is complete as of Windows 10, so we'll see.

>>56585521
- Windows XP 2
We are dropping all tablet support, and focusing on organization, functionality, privacy, and security.
The FULL version of Full Tilt! Pinball will be installed on all versions.
Fuck everything else.

>>56588967
>dropping all tablet support
enjoy your even worse DPI scaling

>>56588973
But I don't use it.

Interesting question OP.

Here's what I would do;

I wouldn't open source Windows, for one reason only; to prevent OEMs from putting even more bloatware onto their computers and enforce "Signature Editions" on every computer.

I would put out a free OS for PC gamers, called Xbox OS with a partnership with Value in order to give the Xbox platform every single game that is available on Steam. The Xbox One will also have this OS but you the consumer will have an option of installing it on your own hardware.

Xbox OS will basically be Big Picture mode but now combined with Xbox apps like Netflix and Youtube along with the Steam Store. Basically, I will totally combine Xbox and PC in one move here and turn the Xbox brand into an all-in-one entertainment hub.

Regular Windows will have the tablet elements removed and be basically a refreshed version of Windows 7 with more modern features such as tight integration with Windows Phone and Xbox OS PCs. I would call this new version of Windows, Windows Studio Edition, which comes with MS Office, Photoshop, and other productivity software for people to get work done.

As far as mobile is concerned, renewed focus on Windows Phone, which I would call Windows Mobile for both tablets and phones. I would have money invested in making a cross platform iMessage/Facetime competitor that does E2E encryption and can be answered on your Windows Phone, Xbox OS PC, or iDevice/Android device. Also push for third party app support by not killing it off every few years. Would make it super easy for devs to port their iOS app over to Windows Mobile.

Windows Mobile would be designed to have a phone or tablet be docked and hooked up to a television or monitor where you can do casual web browsing, light document editing, listen to music, chat, etc like a regular computer. Here is were all of the cut mobile features from Windows 8/10 will go. Windows Mobile will become the OS for anyone who isn't a gamer or professional will use.

Stop being a patent troll and get back to being a software company.

>>56589122
>called Xbox OS with a partnership with Value in order to give the Xbox platform every single game that is available on Steam.
So you're going to release a Microsoft brand steambox?

>Photoshop
Why should I pay for this garbage bloatware with my windows purchase? Gimp is free.

>and other productivity software for people to get work done.
Productive people know what software they want.

>As far as mobile is concerned, renewed focus on Windows Phone, which I would call Windows Mobile for both tablets and phones.
This is good, it would make sure that the cancer stays out of windows.

>>56589122
Windows Mobile devices would also be built and designed by MS. There would be no HP Windows Mobile tablet or a Dell one, just a MS Windows Mobile tablet. Or basically, this is what I would make the Surface line into.

The Surface and the Surface Phone. This will make buying devices easier for the average consumer since I would only have two phone sizes (4 inch and 5.5 inch) based on the needs of the typical smartphone user. And the Surface will be a 10 inch 3:2 tablet.

>>56589183
>So you're going to release a Microsoft brand steambox?
Yes.

>Why should I pay for this garbage bloatware with my windows purchase? Gimp is free.

In my MS, Windows Studio Edition would be 50 bucks and you can choose what software you want installed when it's first installed.

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>>56585521
Alright, we're moving to hardware. We'll offer gaming PCs, Windows phones, and business laptops, and 2 in 1s.

MicrosoftOS (Windows is kill)
>fully open source
>respects users privacy
>have one backdoor for law enforcement that requires physical access (backdoor is open source and well documented)
>themes which are paid and free that have a 24 hour refund if you don't like them
>tool to allow users to create custom themes or edit existing purchased and downloaded themes
>allow downloads of ISOs of all previous Windows versions from website with the license being $10
>compatible with GRUB 2 bootloader (which can be accessed through a function key on boot to easily switch to a GNU/Linux distro)
>full support for gaymen shit
>backwards compatibility for all other programs and filetypes in Windows
>added compatibility for ext filesystems and filetypes commonly used in OS X and Linux (like .tar, .gz, .dmg, etc)
>first upgrade is free
>creates local backups automatically
>unified settings
>file explorer is no longer dog shit
>uses Linux or XNU kernel
>user and system files on different partitions
>no more powershell shit we bash and zsh now
>default encryption
>public apology to customers on release for spying in Windows

Gaming PCs
>latest hardware
>wide selection of metal and carbon fiber MS cases
>AMD and Nvidia graphics
>Intel and AMD CPUs
>SSDs up to 2TB
>let customers pick and choose parts
>get 1 free game of your choice with pc

Business Laptops
>user can easily repair them
>sell spare parts and tools
>full documentation
>allow other bios firmware to be flashed for three letter agency fearing neckbeards
>easily install Ubuntu (all flavors) with software similar to bootcamp on OSX
>huge batteries
>docking stations included
>screens come in 12, 14, and 17 inch sizes

2 in 1s
>new Surface book running MicrosoftOS
>better battery
>similar features to business laptops
>low repairability due to soldered parts to save space
>huge battery

Cont.

>>56589219
>>have one backdoor for law enforcement that requires physical access (backdoor is open source and well documented)
Cuck.

>>56585521
> Remove the headphone jack from all Surface devices
> Make a press conference
> Claim that only steers and queers buy faggot wannabe Apple devices
> Buy out IBM
> Run Hyper-v into the ground and make native VMware support for Windows Servers
> Might costs us shit loads to use VMware, but we'll mark up the Windows Server licence because I can.
> Remove all consumer market trash from our product line
> We Enterprise only now

>>56589301
Oh boy, another linux shitposter.
Too bad most people will use windows 7 for the rest of their life before they switch.

>>56589214
My cloud services would be integrated into all Microsoft products. Devices like Surface and Surface Phone would be limited to 32 GB of storage max and everyone would get 100 GB of OneDrive storage for life.

To counter the possible internet problems, I would then invest in becoming an ISP. From there, I would create massive hotspots in major cities to give everyone in the USA free Internet, all you have to do is just join Microsoft's WiFi Network. Now you can always have your cloud storage with you and also you can use WiFi calling apps instead of Phone companies.

>>56589219
Phone
>Snapdragon 820
>5.2 and 5.9 inch models
>4GB and 6GB RAM depending on size
>micro SD slot up to 256GB
>32GB or 64GB internal storage depending on size
>USB type C
>3000 or 4000 mAh battery depending on size
>16 MP camera
>dual boot Android and a mobile version of MicrosoftOS
>unlockable bootloader (can be unlocked in the box for $5 extra)
>no bootloader bullshit with carriers
>3.5mm headphone jack
>wireless charging
>no bloatware
>MicrosoftOS mobile will use Google play and run Android apps
>features similar to what KDE connect offers

>>56589232
It would require physical access and would be built so that only Microsoft can allow that backdoor to be used. This is not an invasion of privacy, but rather a reasonable compromise. This helps catch criminals and protect Microsoft from getting into the same bullshit Apple got into. The physical access part will stop criminals from remotely entering your PC using this backdoor. The codes for it or whatever wouldn't be given to law enforcement without a warrant either. So unless you do things to draw attention to yourself, your computer won't be seized and searched.
>tldr don't fap to kids

>>56589428
So basically jtag or uart?

>>56589454
I had something different in mind. I'm just brain storming here, so I'm not really worried about small details.

Call Stallman and ask him how much money he needs to finish Hurd and destroy Linux once and for all

Once Hurd is complete, port Office to GNU/Hurd, open source it and then liquidate MS

>>56589428
>It would require physical access and would be built so that only Microsoft can allow that backdoor to be used. This is not an invasion of privacy, but rather a reasonable compromise. This helps catch criminals and protect Microsoft from getting into the same bullshit Apple got into. The physical access part will stop criminals from remotely entering your PC using this backdoor. The codes for it or whatever wouldn't be given to law enforcement without a warrant either.
But I don't want to have to nuke my data when the wrong people try to gain access. I would rather not have them be able to get access at all.

>So unless you do things to draw attention to yourself, your computer won't be seized and searched.
The judiciary is not to be trusted.

forced rolled out installation of gentoo

on everyone's PCs, like how Windows 10 was installed

watch shit-flinging ensue

>>56589219
>fully documented open source hardware backdoor
>an average Jamal can now steal your right hand nudes if you leave your laptop for 10 minutes in clssroom

>>56588546
Are you autistic?

>>56589505
>>56589565
Haters gonna hate. /g/ wonders why we're in a tech bubble.

>>56589728
Possibly, but at least I'm not an idiot who thinks group policy is good.

>>56586148

DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS

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All of the personal data we collected from our users is now searchable online, by anyone, by name.

How fucked are you?

>>56585556
>Also, Anime Mascots!
MS already has those

>>56585521
>Sell microsoft to pajeets/Chinese/and other cunts
>take all those money
>enjoy the rest of the life living in hawai, dubai fking bitches
>look at microsoft how slowly is destroyed
now linux are only one power in the OS world (what company seriosly use that MAC shit).
>not all ppl know how to use linux
>they will hier some linux - guys to show them how it works and install Mint and other shit

>>56591824
Not in America. We're putting it on everything now.

>>56585521
Fire all pajeets

Fire all poo in loos and instigate a white male only employment policy.

>>56585521

>Immediately start work on M-OS, a new open source operating system based on OpenBSD

>Bring back QA

>Make it more difficult for the NSA or other government entities to spy on Windows products

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>Fire anyone that isn't indian.
>Move HQ to India
>Hire more Indian devs
>Sever ties in PRISM
>reform upper management to 100% jewish background, except me
>Sell user info by having OS directly send data to the Chinese government
>deploy spy pajeets to other big companies to implement chinese botnet code
>Bribe Triple A game devs with botnet money to only use DX12
>bribe production software companies with botnet money to cripple linux performance
>have torvalds's development team disappear
>pay pajeets to write and distribute linux malware
>bribe server hosts and providers to use windows server botnet
>donate botnet money to charities and sjw causes for publicity
>Discontinue Xbox
>continue handing out free OS keys

All websites become unaccessible to anything not using windows 10 desktop or server.

Sneak in a Microsoft Webcam driver in an update and force it to be on 24/7 with a fake option to turn it off.

No internet connection? Windows 10 boots into safe mode with no networking always.