You see this sign and your self-driving car inexplicably takes

>>56556376
AM I BEING DETAINED?!

Nothing. It will never happen because it would violate the three laws.

Fart uncontrollably

>>56556396
YOU'RE GOING DOWN /FUCKO/

Should have used free as in freedom self-driving car software tbqh

>>56556397
>three laws
First of all, the whole Asimov fiction revolves around the three laws not working properly and second, there are nowhere near real. How you define a human being to a computer?

Set the timer on the bomb.

Crash into the NSA building with no survivors. HAPPY 9/11 MOTHERFUCKERS!

>>56556456
Simple. At birth every human will be entered into a registry, which a computer can then crosscheck against to see if an entity it runs across is human or not.

>>56556376
Wait till Barney saves me from going to Nova Prspekt

>>56556529
Yeah, because checking a 7 billion element list is a fast way to do in extreme situations. Besides, when a human is dead or alive? What constitutes harm to a human? There are a lot of moral questions you have to answer before implementing any kind of laws about humans.

>>56556376
That's fucking retarded. The NSA doesn't want anything to do with you. If your stupid little fucking scenario were to be halfway realistic it would be the NSA hacking your car to send you to the FBI.

NSA doesn't do field work. Kill yourself you dumb faggot.

>>56556499
This. Then bail out the door/window.

All according to plan.

>>56556376
If you want my stash of hentai you just have to ask, rude assholes.

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>>56556586

>>56556889
i want your stash of hentai. link?

>>56556725
If it's according to plan, then why did your car "inexplicably" take the off ramp?

>>56556575
>7 billion
He said humans.

>>56556575
If it breaths, it's alive.
Pain is bad.
Teach it utilitarianism.
Done.

>>>56556575
>If it breaths, it's alive.
>Pain is bad.
>Teach it utilitarianism.
>Done.
So a robot needs to understand pain, breathing and the concept of utilitarianism?

>>56557096
Horrible suggestion. The extreme cases is what you have to worry about. What happens with someone that uses a machine to breath? Isn't he alive? What constitutes pain for a human? What about emotional pain/suffering?

>>56556376
Jesus that road is fucking terrible

>>56557119
>>56557139
>What happens with someone that uses a machine to breath? Isn't he alive?
If it can be identified as a human and its chest moves or has a heart beat then it's alive.

>What constitutes pain for a human? What about emotional pain/suffering?
Since normies think that death is always worse than suffering from injuries and torture, we can just limit pain to "what action results in the least deaths".

>>56557330
That's not a good answer and I don't think there's a good and easy one either.

>If it can be identified as a human and its chest moves or has a heart beat then it's alive.
What about brain death? And people who need a machine for their heart to function?

>"what action results in the least deaths"
Immediate deaths or future deaths? How do you define death to a computer? What if it has to choose between a guy who holds the cure for cancer (assume that a thing like that exists for the sake of the argument) and a group of 10 meth addicts?

>>56557399
I'm only looking for a robot that makes better decisions than the average person.

>What about brain death? And people who need a machine for their heart to function?
We can program the knowledge of a doctor into it.

>Immediate deaths or future deaths?
As far as AI can go.

>How do you define death to a computer?
By giving it the knowledge of a doctor.

>What if it has to choose between a guy who holds the cure for cancer (assume that a thing like that exists for the sake of the argument) and a group of 10 meth addicts?
The robot will calculate what is better in the long run with the knowledge it has and make the better choice.

>>56557250
>>56556376

Sup MD 295.

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>>56556376
Record the malfunction, call car support about the issue, record the call when they tell me to deal with it, call lawyer, demand and get free money.

>>56557762
>lawyer points to the line that says "i agree to not hold telsa liable for ectra ectra" followed by your signature

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>>56557250
vote trump and he'll fix it

>>56556376
I wish I could say that those are the worse road conditions that I've ever seen but, I have to go through worse road conditions daily.

tuck and roll

>>56555555

>>56557250
>>56558185
Where do you live? That road has nothing wrong. I've seen roads a billion times worse than that.

>>56558213
a billion times worse? really?

>>56558343
Yes, when I said that I really meant LITERALLY a billion times. Literally, not figuratively.

Moron.

>>56558389
i will take you literally when you claim that you really meant it literally.

now give us an example of a road that is exactly one billion times worse that that one, or you're a liar.

>>56556376
I have a 450hp V8 - why would I have a faggot car?

>>56558422
when in rome..

>>56558420
it got no potholes and its paved

>>56558213
I live in NJ, the masterrace of road service.

>>56556376
Wonder why the fuck I'm in D.C.

>>56556376
Nothing because the car would have fallen apart on that Maryland tier road.

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call mommy and let her know not to make any chicken tendies tonight

>>56559746
god damn it, now I want noodles
and I don't have any noodles
I hope you're happy

>>56556476

What is this from?

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>>56561158
>>56556476
A serie about script-kiddies hacking a local life-insurance agency and rooting smartphones.

>>56559779
i am.

>>56556550
underrated post

>>56559746
There is no answer when you call. What do you do?

>>56557035
I was hoping for a bigger target

>>56556376
>You see this sign and your self-driving car inexplicably takes the next right all on its own.
You know, eventually one day people will figure out they can pack their self-driver full of C4 and simply mail it to the address they want to blow up.

The Middle East will get very interesting, then

>>56563737
more like large US cities will get very interesting

>>56563752
Well, I was attempting to pretend federal agents don't prowl this website. But you said it, not me.

Self-driving car jammers will become a thing. It's inevitable.

>>56563737
This doesn't really change anything since before you could say
"You know, eventually one day people can pack a car full of C4 and simply drive it to what they want to blow up"

If anything, a self driving car is easier to stop.

>>56561158
>/G/
>what is this from
you kidding me

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>>56557096
>teach it utilitarianism
>teach it that the ends justify the means

>>56563778
>If anything, a self driving car is easier to stop.
Really?

>be typical workday in LA
>kebab bait-truck dumps shit on highway to slow down traffic
>self-driver with a RealDoll propped in the front seat driven one mile behind
>wait til traffic comes to a standstill
>kaboom via remote trigger
>ball-bearings shred nearby cars and people, conical copper blast panels jet liquid metal through the floor into the road, causing partial or full column collapse adding to the casualties

Or alternatively
>self-driver mailed to the pickup lane at ATL Int'l
>pop

Again: Self-driving car jammers will become a thing. These shits will not be allowed near vital areas.

>>56563686
>he doesn't carry emergency chicken nuggies in his glove box

>>56563843
ends justify the memes*

>>56556725
The visual of some bloated fedoralord trying to dislodge himself like a massive turd from the door of a self-driving car as it gently coasts along at a gentle 15mph is beyond hilarious to me. Just, the wheezing breathing, and the walrus-like wet slapping noises as the mobile obesity meets pavement and rolls a dozen times. Too perfect.

>>56556376
Holy shit, those are some BAD roads! Is that considered normal in the U.S.?

>>56556586
Nice try NSA, your shilling won't work here.

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>>56556376
You see this sign and your self-driving car inexplicably takes the next left all on its own.

What do you do?

>>56563799
Fuck of, reddit.

>>56563931

>you just realized the "free market is bad for roads" meme is actually true

>>56563931
Yes. The roads are maintained by low IQ government workers paid a flat-rate salary via tax dollars. What did you expect?

>>56556476
That little *jump* she does pulling her fake trigger, triggers me.

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>>56556499
> Plugs in his note 7 to the car charger.

>>56563931
B-but the government and statists told me that we needed the government to maintain the roads.

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>>56563951
>>56563975
Nice meme you guys, but American roads are privatized. European roads are public and are much superior.

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>>56556376
There's only one response to this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNbf4ArEG1w

>>56563936
FU fag

>>56556376
call my nigga snowden and whip out my shotgun

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>>56564029
>he watches Space Clinton

>>56564023
You might not want to comment on things you know absolutely nothing about.

>>56564023
Most roads are maintained by the government and they would rather give blacks welfare and go into jew controlled wars than put money into fixing roads. Trump should just buy the roads and privatize it when he becomes president.

>>56564070
>>56564078

Super meme guys, keep up the good work.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Private_highways_in_the_United_States

>>56564117
Government maintained highways and roads still far outnumber privatized roads and highways. The quality shows when you ask the government to do anything.

>>56556376
i start wondering why i suddenly woke up in a third world country with the worst roads ive ever seen

>>56564117
>a handful of private toll roads means the government doesn't control 98% of the rest of the roads

>>56564117
>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Private_highways_in_the_United_States
>As railroads and steamboats began to compete with the turnpikes, the companies started to shut down their less profitable routes or turn them over to governments.

>>56564177
>the companies turned shit over to the governments
... isn't the free market supposed to fix shit?

>>56564202

It is, but this isn't really a free market vs. gubmint argument. It's a "why doesn't shit work in America argument", because public roads in Europe are great. And private roads in Europe are great too. The problem isn't public or private, it's America.

>>56564214
>The problem isn't public or private, it's America.
Its who is maintaining them, actually.

High school dropout 85 IQ Tyrone isn't going to be as good or as motivated as a European construction crew staffed by engineering graduates. Shocking, I know.

>>56564202
Jacking off to the idea of free market is a libertarian strawman.

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>>56564247
The invisible hand jerks me off, famalam.

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>>56558213
Are you from Omsk by any chance?

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>>56564070
>space clinton

Guys, the NSA really doesn't care about you that much. Besides they're pretty based and we have bigger threats to worry about than 4chan.

>>56564676
gb2nsa

>>56556575
What is a hashtable? What is caching? What are heaps?

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>>56556376
>Open door, tuck and roll
>.....shit doors are locked
>Try to beat the window out
>succeed and cracking window but arrive at NSA building before getting completely though
>Car immediately in pulls to an overhead door that opens right as the car gets to it then closes just as fast
>Get tasered twice at 5 lab technicians pull me from the car that somehow unlocked on its own
>They strap me face down on a table and force picture related up my ass
>They force it in and out of me for what seems like days but is probably 6 or so hours remarking that I only make it to the 3rd rib basically the only other time my asshole has been stretched that big was when I was very badly constipated
>get put in a white padded room for an unknown amount of time, probably a day or so
>Next day they strap me face down on the table again and work the dragon dildo back up into my ass, get a little further this time.
>repeats for weeks until I can take the full knot
>get taken to Area 51
>holy shit real dragons
>get ass raped by a real dragon
>They inject something into my arm I fall asleep
>wake up in Central Park NYC with $10,000 in my pocket
>tell everyone but nobody believes me
I am Male Pregnant with a dragons baby AMA.

>>56564827
can i have your $10,000

>>56565117
No I bought a macbook pro to get back on 4chan ($2300)
Now im looking for a job and apartments in new York with the other ($7,700)

>>56556376
>those dogshit roads
Been living in europe so long that I forgot what american roads looked like. Thanks for reminding me why I moved

>>56565275
The Goverment taxes plenty they just waste the money.

>>56557827
>Goldberg and shoahstein are your top lawyers when it comes to self driving car malfunctions.
>Dial 1-800-gib-shkl

>>56565275
>Been living in europe so long that I forgot what american roads looked like
And now you know how it feels like being fucked in the ass by your new refugee buddy Jamal.

>>56565475
but i already knew that feeling.

>>56565475
>americans don't get fucked in the ass by refugees
go build that wall

>>56565475

>le refugees are all rapists or terrorists meme

>>>/pol/

>>56556376
Sip my Starbucks as I forgot it's just another fucked up day at my desk job instead of a day off.

>>56563799
>not everyone watches Mr. Reddit?
>on /g/
show is pretty gay tho desu

>>56565594
>muh pol boogeyman

Make sure to check your closet at night for antisemites and racists!

>>56565275
We won't miss you.

>>56565641

IGNORE /pol/TARDS

HIDE /pol/TARD REPLIES

DO NOT REPLY TO /pol/TARDS

>>56565577
All Europeans do.

>>56565475
>build a wall
>wall is better made than the american roads

>>56565691

Nice job believing the fascist media lies you tool, but no, refugees aren't raping or killing anyone, they're peaceful and everybody welcomes them.

>>56565641
>muh refugee boogeyman

You can stop with the xenophobia meme already, it's not funny anymore.

>>56565744
What I was implying is that all male Europeans are homosexuals.

>>56565789

That's not true at all, my wife's son and I are straight.

>>56565807
Canadians don't qualify as Europeans.

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>>56565828

W-we put the Queen on the currency though.

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>>56565855
>MMXVI
>still being a monarchy

>>56565744
> refugees aren't raping or killing anyone, they're peaceful and everybody welcomes them.
EUROPE YES.

>>56565855
Nice Monopoly money.

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>>56565890

He's right though.

>>56566240
https://www.rt.com/news/353485-germany-rape-refugee-cemetery/

Of courshe.

>>56565744
>everybody welcomes them
if by "everybody" you mean "me and my narrow clique of friends", then you may be right.

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>>56566292

>RT

Even if that was true, how many rapes have been perpetrated by white people and you dgaf?

A couple isolated refugee crime cases and you already generalize towards the whole population, nice job being a total racist jerk.

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>>56566322

No, I mean pretty much everybody. Pretty sure the "only me and my narrow clique of racist friends reject them" applies to you though. Nice projecting.

>>56566345
>A couple isolated refugee crime cases
Keep thinking that cuck.

>>56566392

Inform yourself before you Shrek yourself.

http://hoaxmap.org/

>>56556376
PREPARE MY ANUS

>>56566292
>rt.com
Come on, I mean I know genetic fallacy and all, but not even the right takes the Russians seriously, goddammit!

>>56566384
>Nice projecting.
Thank you.

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>>56556376
Switch to manual mode. Use left turn signal and merge left back on to main road.

You think I would get in a self-driving car without a manual override that wasn't completely independent of all wire based systems?

Or at least know how to shut it down completely? Every car I drive or even ride in I study the designs before even getting in. I know exactly which wire closes the circuit to the spark plugs and can cut it in under 7 seconds, full drive power lost in 3 rotations or less. 4 seconds to stab pocket CO2 tank to force vent power-steering fluid line so automated steering can't reach adequate pressure to steer car, and adequate arm muscles to compensate and take control with manual backup system. 0.4 seconds to engage emergency brake to slow vehicle down, and 17 seconds for my thermite necklace to cut through drive shaft to physically disconnect motor from transmission. Cars are only machines, and I build and dismantle machines for a living.

Also if the NSA is going to nab me they need to use their own van, as I am not covering the gas and maintenance costs for my abduction. I pay taxes to cover that kind of stuff so they can afford a nice abduction van.

>>56556376
worst case: pull the handbrake and jump out

>>56556376
Let it finish driving me to work.
That is why I got a self driving car in the fist place.

>>56566779
In that case, why was the right turn inexplicable? Seems like you've created a paradox for yourself there.

>>56565594
not a meme if its a statistical fact.

>>56556476
Why cant they use real guns with blanks or guns that simulate chamber ejection

>>56565855
in b4 brexit

>>56556456

>there are nowhere near real

I study robotics and they teach us about the three laws, the three laws are real dumbass.

>>56564023

What happens there when water floods the tunnel?

>>56566568
lol

>>56566637
>pull the handbrake
Do not do this.
>>56567014
Are you serious?

>>56561158
Its about a /robot/ who just installed kali and is spending his time running metasploit-scripts against the big bad non-free company since he couldnt hold down a job due to his autism, he also wants to fuck his sister and wishes he was more like his father.

>>56566881
Well usually it drives me to Langley and I only pass by Fort Meade on the way to work. But sometimes I come in only to get told about some important meeting at Fort Meade I have to attend. I assume someone just re-routed me in transit to save time for some emergency meeting.

Or it is Josh messing with me again, we have a bit of a prank war since he switched sides and joined the glorified mathematicians.

But most of these meeting are really boring as we try to figuring out how to collect more data to stop terrorism. We figure if we collect enough data in one location we can catch a terrorist trying to steal the data, which is why we need more of it.

And the program is starting to get better. We actually caught 2 so far this year as part of a new local radical group that has recently started using terrorism to combat what they call "oppressive government surveillance".

>>56567260
>But most of these meeting are really boring as we try to figuring out how to collect more data to stop terrorism. We figure if we collect enough data in one location we can catch a terrorist trying to steal the data, which is why we need more of it.
holy shit anon, top kek

>>56567014

People have been killed because of this. I doubt insurance companies allow a real gun anywhere near this shit now.

>>56566963
See >>56566427

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>>56567193

>he actually believes in global warming and rising sea levels

>>56567163
Ever made it to Basics1.0.2?

>>56567260
target the SJWs instead

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>>56556376
>self driving car

Why would I have the car equivalent of a Mac?

>>56567014

>why can't you shoot real guns in a movie

I have no idea why I still come here, its become a social network for the legitimately mentally disabled.

>>56568419
Superior resale value?

Will never own a self-driving car
If it wasn't mine I would have blew NSA up

>>56568419
>Apple is innovative and progressive
>Linux is extremely powerful for delicate operations and gives you the most amount of control
>Windows is trash for people stuck in the past
Seems about right.

>>56556376
sit back and enjoy the ride because I wasn't paying attention

>>56570455
you won't be enjoying the ride for long

>>56569743
seconding

>>56566637
What handbrake?

>>56556376
Wow those roads are bad. Is that even a first world country?

>>56556575
LIST
I
S
T
Have you ever read anything about data structures bud

>>56556456
>How you define a human being to a computer?
Visually and/or with audio.
If it screams when you are penetrating its soft gooey exterior with your cold metal hands, then it is probably a human.

>>56571281
>>56566637

I cannot let you do that Dave

>>56571747
yes you can

>>56556396
/thread

>>56571747
Ground Control to Major Tom
Your circuit's dead, there's something wrong