no autoplays

>>56414545
adblocking is a felony

>>56414580
nice meme

"Don't post questions that could be resolved in a quick google search"

>>56414580
go fuck yourself

>>56414545


You need to be licensed to access the internet. Full name on display, and all activity logged and publicly accessible.

>>56414545

Politically correct. You can be held accountable IRL for what you say online; this ranges from prison to losing your job if you're employer doesn't like it.

HTTP only. No HTTPS

you cannot post any social content on the internet

users may only add peer reviewed educational content or functional productivity content

>>56414845

That's already been in effect for years.

This thread is a straight nightmare.

Gentoo users are exempt from all previous rules.

wtf is all this Orwellian bullshit?
new internet- no rules or legal jurisdiction apply. free for all dog eats dog.

if ur offended u can just leave

>>56414868

Oh that's a good rule: must have safe spaces in the form of niche communities.

>>56414992

>an Internet where an agency polices you to know what OS you use

I like it.

>>56414545
Pirating software is a felony and punishable by death.

>>56414545
Streaming and/or downloading movies or video series from a non-subscription based service is punishable by life in prison.

>>56414545
the page title must summarize the content of the page

>>56414545
your first post on any website must be a nude picture of yourself

>>56414545
The internet is only available to people with the most recent version of Windows.

>>56414545
You must be logged in to Google and Facebook at all times while online.

No tracking or personal information

>>56414545
pictures of domestic animals and food self destruct after 10 minutes.

Pages must not be over 1MB in size

everyone using the internet must renounce their previous ideals, subscribe to a pro-sjw/left-wing ideology, and attend regular meetings and classes on the topic of women's studies. failure to comply results in death

>>56414580
>>56414812
>>56414845
>>56414992
>>56415179
>>56415196
>>56415228
>>56415239
>>56415291
literally current internet for the tech illiterate

all pages should have a lightweight version with all functions preserved, with large images linked instead of embedded, with scripts kept to a minimum AND still able to be blocked without crippling the page's functionality.

>x is a felony
not etiquette, that's law you retards

no cross site requests. every site making secret requests to faceberg and a million other tracking sites is rude and slows down page load due to request latency

If your name is Jordan, you're not allowed to use the internet.

>>56415484
seems arbitrary

html and css only. it should be content that sells your site, not packaging.

facebook is wiped from the earth
all traces gone completely never to return

>>56414545
The only porn available is cuck porn, futa porn, trap/tranny porn, and pegging porn.

>21 posters
>31 posts
>tfw its a samefag posting weak bait

>>56415629
No porn allowed

>>56414545

Stack overflow gets deleted and any attempt to get informations about "how do I do this" results in an IP-permaban for every node.

Facebook gets renamed "facefuck". Facebook users must post degrading selfies of themselves every 24 hours or their account gets deleted.

>>56414545
Programs to access the new internet must be written in JQuery, Electron, HTML and CSS. As new frameworks arise, these programs must be updated to use said new frameworks.

>>56414545
All online games must be written in Java. This applies to all games, not just browser games.

The second-person pronoun is 'shitlord'

WE DONT NEED A NEW INTERNET, THE OLD ONE WAS FINE UNTIL THE CLUELESS MASSES STARTED USING IT

Jesus christ, this is a fucking nightmare thread. The fuck is wrong with you niggers?

File: spinning_flaming_skull.gif (42KB, 100x178px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 100x178px

>>56416142
One flaming skull gif (being the currency of the 90s Internet) has been deposited into your account.

>>56416183
>The fuck is wrong with you niggers?
Did you forget where you are?

>>56414545
You have to be 21 years old before you can use the internet. Only children will disagree.

>>56416195
Sorry, I meant
>What the fuck is wrong with you incredibly white people?

>>56416211
While also accurate, that's not what I was trying to point out.

But have an internet.

>>56414545
no silverlight
no flash
no to any media plugin using DRM
no javascript
no loading assets from ten different domains on one site
no ads slowing down page loading.
no html5 font/battery tracking crap
no product made my microsoft

>>56415350
Remember when low bandwidth versions of sites were actually a thing? Crazy

>>56416198
You have to be 60 years old before you can use the internet. Only children will disagree.

>>56414545
Every electronic system, whether it's a laptop, notebook, desktop, tablet, or mobile, all come with built-in breath tester, blood sample tester, and hair sampe tester. Before you're allowed to use the internet, you need to blow 0.00 BAC, and the blood and hair sample tests needs to need to return a negative result for drug use. Basically, you can't use the internet if you're not 100% clean.

>>56415612
It makes me sad to know how much energy is spent powering the data centers for facebook. Just the shear amount of juice needed to supply digital narcissism and vapidness for an entire human race is depressing as fuck.

>>56416198
I'd say you should be able to post on any site after you've lurked for several years regardless of age. If you can't handle that then yeah 21 minimum.

>>56416264
Straight edgy.

only black people are allowed to use the internet

>>56416290
so instagram and worldstarhiphop are the only two sites now?

>>56416302
>kfc.com

>>56416302
just think, it'll be like a digital detroit

>>56416290
Sounds legitimately entertaining.

File: 1450328334913.jpg (65KB, 340x340px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 340x340px

You must masturbate to something that challenges your "current" sexuality.

>>56416547
Just, like... All the time?

>>56416494
like going to a zoo but with none of the downsides, all in your own home

>>56416547
>implying i don't already jack it to everything
so does that mean that some people are forbidden from masturbating?