Tech illiterate people stories thread

>>56342386
paste it

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>>56342556
u asked for it senpai

>>56342591
everytime

thanks

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>>56342386
>open the command prompt at school
>normies think i'm hacking
>they tell the teacher
>i get suspended and lectured that hacking is illegal

that was in 7th grade.
in 8th grade, i used a batch file to delete system32 on every computer in the lab and never got caught

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>>56342591

>>56342556
>>56342591
NO

>>56342386
Shit love lives. Where is Maki?

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>>56342591

I'm a volunteer basic computer skills tutor. Need I say more?

Just figuring out how highlighting, cutting and pasting text is a headache.

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>>56342869
Bruh, how old are you?

>>56342942
Why?

>>56342591
i will never get it

>>56342971
You sound like you're a baby boomer who hasn't touched a PC in forever or something.

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>>56342591

>>56343117
I meant my student. He has problems with manipulating text.

Why would I be a tutor if I couldn't do that?

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>>56342591

>>56343137
Oh.
OH.
Damn, that was one hell of a brainfart.

My bad.

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>>56342386
>Go help some people in a charity group.
>They recieved a donated computer (an old D530 HP) for simple office tasks but it don't work.
>Ask them why, they tell me it won't start and some weird screen appear.
>Tell them to let me check it, room is full with old people from the board and this cheeky 20-something years old cunt from administration that say "it's broken so it's better to toss it"
>Turn on, BIOS checksum blabla...press F1 to continue and configure settings, set it back and then it boot windows fine.
>People already think i'm some sort of hacker for making it work
>The bitch tell me to turn it off, pull of power cord, connect it again, same error happen.
>"See, you didn't fix it"
>"Ok, just wait a moment", i went to a nearby store, got a CR2032 and came back.
>Open the case (tool-less, easy as hell to dismount), the cunt and the rest start to freak out thinking i'm breaking it.
>Pull out the mobo battery, they are almost chimping out saying i was an asshole and literally "breaking it out of rage"
>Put on the new battery, boot it, reconfigure BIOS, everyone silent because "how the hell does that still work".
>Still enraged, the bitch say that was just the good quality of the pc, pull out the power cord again and reconnect it.
>Nothig happen, it boot right into windows just perfectly
>Rest of people there think now i'm some kind of computer jesus
>See the slut is still salty with a butthurt face
>Say in loud voice "that was simple, each time it powered it cleared the BIOS because the CMOS battery was empty and the system warned you when at post to reconfigure as checksums mistaken it for a corrupted BIOS, it's something common with old computers"
>shit was like talking in chinese to everyone in the room.
>some grandpa that was there watching told her to deal with it as "the kid knows his game".

I don't like to be an asshole, i mean no one know about everything, but those illiterate priggs just trigger me.

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>be top hacker of anonymous
>normies still think they know more than me how computers work
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>56343804
>>some grandpa that was there watching told her to deal with it as "the kid knows his game".
I loled.

>>56342386
There's a guy at work who tells people he's a hacker and always has some bat script running so his second monitor looks like a cheap matrix rip off.

He's such a 1337 hacker that he applied for a developer role and got rejected so applied as something else.

>>56343804
I've fixed lots of things for various people and thankfully never ran into such pricks. Usually people roll out the red carpet and completely trust my word on everything.

Which actually makes me more nervous to be wrong.

>Brother's Iphone 6 lolbends
>Cracks the screen, half the touch screen doesn't work all the time
>Brother is able to get into it a few times to do things
>Tell him to stop fucking with it and back it up as soon as he gets home
>He gets home, dad grabs it from his hands
>Starts fucking with it
>"Well, its fucked"
>Tosses it on the ground
>CrackingIntesifies.wav
>Fucks up the touch screen it starts hammering the pin login screen with random combinations
>Bruteforces itself into total lockout mode in less then 2 seconds
>Pretty impressive actually
>It also fucked up the charging port that's been replaced a billion times
>Essentially has a brick that wont unlock unless connected to Itunes
>It can't connect to anything because the port simply doesn't work

I had some hope we could get Apple to replace it for free but not after that.

I'll post again the story when I was at an IT internship

>be me
>work mostly consists of basic stuff, installing software, hardware replacement, etc
>the guy that works with me calls me
>hey anon, you'll be dealing with this, this and this
>one of the things was a win7 install onto a laptop alongside with basic software and a paid antivirus (G-data)
>timeskip 2 days
>hey anon, this client wants you to go to his home because he has pc problems
>k
>walks there
>may i come in, desu
>yeah come in
>sits in front of laptop trying to figure out stuff
>hey arent u feeling hot anon, want to take your shirt off?
>n-no
>client has shit ton of torrent malware sht
>also has 2 new antiviruses
>clean up this shit
>sir you have 3 antiviruses at the moment, imma uninstall 2 of them
>uninstall this one.. it's ugly as all fuck
>but you bought this for 50€ 2 days ago
>its ugly
>...
>stuff done, about to leave
>hey you like this painting?
>yeah its kinda cool (heh... actually i was planning to sell it, but kept it)
>a woman i fucked gave me it, you can take it
>mfw
>k
>goes back to IT shop and show painting
>anon wanna leave it at the shop?
>no its my gift gtfo

>>56344460
Seen this story before, original OP? But it had less data

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>>56344530
Yeah, I'm the original OP, just wanted to put some more details to this version.

Also pic related is the painting that the client gave me.

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>>56342769
lol i got recommended to the IT guy at my school for something similar in8th grade or so, i explained it to him and we bonded by hating on normies.

good times, we rofl'ed together when i put personalized (and persistent) prank hotkey scripts on all the teachers' machines during the last week of school. he "wasnt available" to help.

>>56343804
I know that feel. People who just seem to click wrong with you and distrust you and fight you every step of the way. Shit sucks.

Try explaining ports and secure connections to these fucks. It's even worse because you'll get "but it is connected to the internet" and you have to explain "yes, but the door it needs to open is locked."

Or trying to explain why their processor could possibly get hot.

>family ask me to fix their phone, pc, tablet, etc
>google the problem they describe to me
>follow instructions on screen
>anon, I think you are fixing it wrong
>since you know more then me, then you fix it
>they stay quit
>their phone, pc, tablet is finally fixed
>wow anon, you could make money by doing this
>ok then, pay me
>i can't, I need my money for something else

>>56344726
shit painting, but top tier story behind it. would take it to the grave if it were me

>>56343804
>didn't get it for yourselves
why?

>>56344977
>I'm your family, I don't need to pay, silly anon*
FTFY

>>56344726
Kek, i dont wonder he gave it to you

>>56344726
nigga that's actually pretty gay

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>>56342386
>girl at work hands me her laptop
>''anon you're good with computers, fix it?''
>turn it off
>turn it on
>give it back
>''wow anon you're a life saver

>>56345086
She wanted your D. You failed anon.

>>56345086
She probably left a whole folder of nudes on desktop just so you'd see them. You dun fuck it up m8.

>dad buys a new laptop
>he puts all his programs and documents on a cd
>anon this new laptop doesn't work. i can't use anything.
>checked the latptop and saw that the files were missing
>checked the cd and saw that it was all shortcuts


>>56342591
Oh wow.

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>>56342591
EVERY FUCKING TIME THIS MAKES ME MAD

>do IT work for country clubs
>some country clubs have us visit their old retired members and help them with their issues

I can write a book with all the stories I have.

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>grill flirts with me at school
>tell her I know tech shit
>ask for help about laptop
>says she has no internet
>turns out she had no internet in her house
>she tells me internet is free and all devices work on it
>me like wtf
>tell her internet isn't free
>she loses her mind about internet
>doesn't know how to use basic computer
>ask me for help constantly
>tell her I can't help her anymore
>she flirts more with me for tech help
>asked around for nudies

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earlier..

>co-worker made iphone 5 unusable by dropping it on the floor and shattering the screen
>offer her to repair it for 90€ with a self-repair kit which is easier than lego technics
>proceeds to visit the technician and repair it for 160€ due to the warranty won't cover the phone anyway

>co-worker made s6 phone unusable by restarting phone during software update, it started bootlooping
>offer her to repair it via flash
>she starts a new contract to get a s7 phone whilst the s6 is still due for atleast 7 months, then goes to alman abdil and sells it for 150€.. resell value is starting at 300€ on craiglist derivative

>mfw

>>56345941
all she wanted was you dick, not your knowledge

not really tech illiteracy but,

>work with mostly women
>they all have the latest iphones
>omg get an iphone anon
>why don't you use an iphone?
>you don't have an iphone? that's so weird

>>56346269

The only acceptable reply:

"iPhones suck, like most all of you..."

>>56346303
Wow, good one! Can I use this??

>>56343804
honestly she was probably just looking for an excuse to trash it and buy a newer machine
I've seen it happen all the time, there was this one bitch in particular at my old company who was stuck on an older machine (like everyone else because the hardware budget was pretty tight) and she was constantly trying to break it without it looking like it was her fault
eventually she figured out that if she wiggled the VGA output around and left it in a certain position it would stop working until you nudged it back
at that point I got fed up and told her she'd trashed the thing, so I set her up with an ancient Dell laptop with 512MB of RAM and a Pentium 4 running XP and repurposed her machine for a new hire
shit ran like a sack of bricks coated in molasses
she complained until I told her that unless she wanted to buy a new machine out of her own pocket then she was stuck with it until we have the budget for a replacement refurb
pretty sure she learned her lesson after that, didn't have any more problems

>>56346405
oh, and by "older machine" I mean a Lenovo Thinkcenter with 4GB RAM and a second-gen i5, not at all a crappy system

>>56342386
>My mother asks me to fix her slow PC.
>scan it
>Find over 9,000 issues
>Ram running at 1/2 speed
>HDD 99% full
>Delete 4 virus software tools
>CPU was running at 85C
>install a hyper 212 I had 31c load
>OC that single core celeron to 3.5ghz
>Shit was actually very fast for what it was.

Ended up making her a i3 system a few years later.

>>56343906
color 0a
:1
@echo off
cls
dir /s
goto 1

Here you go, any script kiddie's wet dream.

>>56344350
>brother
>dad
>imeme 6
this board is 18+ only

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>>56346566
Or, you know, just

color 0a
dir /s

>>56346331
Sure but make sure to credit me

>>56345201
I have a very similar story

>~15 years ago
>friend burns a game to a cd to give it to another friend
>tries running it from the cd and it works fine
>brings it over to the other friend
>game doesn't run
>friend calls me to check what's wrong
>he burned the shortcut

>>56342591
is the puddle kill?

>>56342591
Probably fake though

>>56345025
I make them buy me some icecream.

>>56345201
Got similar story:
>7th grade
>to get A in IT classes we all have to bring USB flash drives with simple websites on them
>pc fried so I finish the assignment at my friend's place
>friend is an IT illiterate normie so I make one for him too
>mommy says the tendies are ready so I had to leave without saving the websites on the flash drive
>call him on the phone and ask if he saved them
>yea sure anon lol it was easy
>next day he brings the stick
>my turn to show my website
>teacher plugs in the flashdrive
>anon why does your website take only 1kb of space
>what
>site won't open
>file has .lnk extension

fucking tendies

>mom iphone is crap switch to samsung
>lol no samsung is cheapie apple da best

>>56345885
>goes to a "tell your stories" thread
>only posts "I have stories"

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>>56343804
>"the kid knows his game"

>but anon, if you have target fps is above 144, your monitor will have a hard time keeping up!
>he thinks a 144hz monitor can ever render 160fps
>proceeds to """lecture""" me that a 144hz also has "trouble" rendering below 60fps

FUCK NORMIES WITH THEIR ALL ASUS GAMING RIGS. SO FUCKING TRIGGERED

>>56346000
This story is obviously made up.
Android phones don't get OS updates.

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>HT Geek Squad Agent
>get a redo on my board for another agent
>his market an hour away from my store
>he approved this with my leadership
>call the guy to see if I can resolve the issue over the phone with him
>no answer
>leave him a message
>call him once a day for the next three days
>no answer to any of my messages
>I have no idea what the fuck the issue even is since he just told the 1-800 number that it's not working and needs another agent out there to fix it now
>drive an hour away to the separate market's store
>get some more details
>he lives two hours away from that store
>drive the two hours
>he's not fucking home
>park outside his fucking house for thirty minutes praying he comes back
>he doesn't
>drive back home
>next day I see his job appear on my board again as a redo
>he complained that I was out there, but didn't fix the problem and made it worse
>They didn't let me even in, and how was I supposed to know there was an issue outside?
>my job board has a six hour along car drive with who knows what; and seven other jobs that will take a minimum of nine hours too
>attempt to call again
>no answer
>speak to leadership and told me other agents will pick up my other jobs throughout the day and I just need to go drive
>get there
>old dude in his 70s
>his issue is inside house...a remote
>it won't work
>he never charged it
>took the power cord out of the wall from the thing's base, because it's a wireless remote
>explain to him that just because it's a wireless remote, doesn't mean it's also powerless
>SO IT NEEDS POWER TO WORK!?
>Yes. I needs power. So like you've been doing by putting the remote in the base here to charge, just leave the power cord in the wall and it'll work.
>SO YOU LIED TO ME
>No, I haven't. And I'm leaving now.
>I want to speak to your manager!
>Call the 1-800 number and they can make him drive up here tomorrow.
>YOU DON'T THINK I WILL
>I hope you do
>He did.
>Manager didn't go

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>>56350267

>>56350134
tearing

>do tech support for friends
>new asus laptop wont boot
>what_have_you_done.jpg
>her startpage was changed
>she wanted google back
>she found system recovery
>than panic shutdown pc -.-
>great.jpg
>boot with linux usb
>try to read out recovery 4 win key because no sticker/software cd
>doesnt work
>Google laptop
>only win 8.1 driver available
>oh fuck it
>install elementary os with firefox & ublock
>nice work anon looks nice and no porn in Internet
>getting grilled cheese for payment

She synks literally everything with google. Pictures, contacts everything -.- . She only needs a fucking Browser and bought a brand new asus laptop..

>>56350360
>actually driving the hour to the other store
>actually driving the two hours to the old guys house
>doing both when you know a trip is distance x 2
>doing it a second time
How much do they pay you?
Do they reimburse you the gas price plus time and stuff?

>>56350360
I got one like this, but replace the 6 hour drive with nightmarish Boston traffic and parking
>woman calls, problem with her computer
>can't get on the internet, ergo can't do it remotely, can't seem to work out the issue with her on the phone
>too late to go out and do it that day, so I set her up for early morning the next day
>call her up to confirm 30 minutes before
>no answer
>whatever, she's pretty old, might still be asleep or something
>drive out to her place
>it's an apartment in Charlestown
>no parking anywhere nearby
>circle for half an hour, finally spot a guy leaving and nab the space (all the while some cunt is honking at me, presumably because he wanted it too)
>walk 15 minutes back to the apartment
>knock
>no answer
>hang out for a bit, knock every few minutes
>call her from my cell, nothing
>fuck it
>head back to base, report
>apparently they've gotten like 10 calls from her
>she says she saw me come into the building but that I never knocked or anything
>verify the number with mine, everything checks out
>she calls again
>wants me to come back
>this time it takes me over an hour to find a parking spot
>probably could've walked there faster
>finally get a spot, walk 15 minutes, etc.
>get to the apartment
>knock
>call
>nothing
>call base
>tell them that if she calls again I'm at the door but nobody is answering
>eventually things are straightened out
>she lets me in
>I explain, she makes me coffee to apologize
>flip the wifi switch on her laptop
>problem solved
>go straight home since it's 9PM
fucking hell, I HATE working with old people
at least she was nice about it, but some of them can get pretty nasty

>>56350400
things that never happened: the post.

>>56350470
I do tech support for a cable company. Can agree old people a shit.

>>56350470
>fucking hell, I HATE working with old people

>do tech support for grandparents
>always clean out shitware
>grandma installs it
>blames my tech illiterate grandpa out of embarrassment
>I know he deosnt do it

>clean out their shitware one day
>clear all system cache options in ccleaner cause fuck it
>it resets the firefox zoom and window location and size
>go there a week later
>actually says to me "weve got a bone to pick with you"
>I don't clean their shit out that much any more.
I'm the only reason those computers even work still.


also nice stories, would be nice to keep them coming so I have something to read tomorrow.

>>56346566
>>56346593
title haxxor

>>56350469
They only paid me 17 an hour. I was one of the lower paid techs, but it was average for newer employees. Everybody else had been there for years and years. One of which was there for over 20.

And it's an hourly job. I was paid for driving there and back in a company car using a company card to pay for it all regardless of getting no work done.

>>56350470
Downtown jobs are awful. I remember having to park several blocks away in a tiny parking spot in my van, had to pull a 70" TV out of it and all my tools slowly not to hit the car right behind it and then wheel that shit to the top of a fucking building to mount it on a wall solo.

Then having to go back for other tools, because it was to be mounted in god damn stone instead of drywall.

>>56350542
>>56350470
oh yeah, forgot to mention -
the second time I got a ticket since I was in reserved parking or some bullshit, even though it was completely unmarked
also this was during the fuckhuge snowstorm we had last year

>>56350542
>I was paid for driving there
Thats better, Ill be able to sleep tonight.

I worked at a shit retail job, they were opening another store in another state and wanted people to go stuck the shelves and set up steel racks and shit, was supose to pay extra money but they wanted to me to drive there in my own car and I think pay for my own gas, but they claimed id be put up in a hotel on them but I really suspected that Id get left with the bill.
Wound up passing on it.

>>56350565
wait, holy shit this must've been 2 years ago, that snowstorm happened in 2014
goddamn

>>56350575
>>56350565
>>56350542
You know a cable company called RCN?

>>56350481
Never underestimate the stupidity of tech illiterate people.

>>56344977
This is why you charge family.

Every single fucking time. $20 minimum. Only exception may be your own mother. This way they know their damn place and uncle Jeff won't bug you every damn time he clicks a fucking banner ad.

If you do good work, and you're cheaper than office depot (who charge $170 for a repair + a year of McAfee), then you're golden.

>>56350580
heard of them, never dealt with them
apparently they're a bit scummy even though they seem to offer decent prices

>>56344905
Holy shit, my boss had to did literally that today. We've been talking to this lady for a few days about her shitty Zoiper quality and she randomly can't receive calls. We tested everything and told her it was probably an internet or port issue, and she wouldn't stop arguing about how yahoo was up.

>>56350603
I'm >>56350527 and I do their billing and cable tech support. They're not too bad. Definitely good prices comparatively. No contracts and no data caps on internet either. People just piss me off because they don't pay their bill, so they get suspended, then complain about the restoral charge on their account.

Then the old fucking people who don't know what unplugging a cable box is. Or the motherfuckers whose TV is on the wrong input, but don't fucking know enough to try the other inputs.

>>56344905
>why their processor could possibly get hot
I just tell them it's such a complex circuit that it's effectively a mini toaster oven, most of the time they get it

>>56350589
In modern computers the windows key is in the bios or some shit.
also nobody, especially a female would say elementary os looks good.

If this story were true she would have freaked the fuck out and demanded you put windows back on there, but because you wiped the fucking drive while fucking up the install the recovery partition was over written. When you then tried to download the windows iso and install it, it would say some shit like "the key used is for the version of windows provided by your computers manufacturer" and not work.
You then download a cracked copy thinking your smart and it works, until the "hacker" that cracked it remotes into the computer and gets her facebook with all of her nudes and then he posts them on /b/. Then when it circulates back to her, she assumes it was you that did it and immediately tells everyone that you're the one that violated her privacy and tried to destroy her life because she was mad that you fucked up her computer.

>>56347419
i fucking hate when retards do that
>its more expensive so its better
should be executed on the spot

>>56350593
>did this shit because /g/ recommended it
>they actually stopped cold turkey

It was beautiful. The next day I even overheard one of them complaint about the 50 dollars I asked for to have a look at it.

>>56344905
>Or trying to explain why their processor could possibly get hot.
Whatever you do, dont mention liquid/water cooling

>>56350693
>you watch in horror as grandma pours a grape fanta onto the motherboard
"Like this Anon?... Wait Why did the computer turn off?... ANON WHAT DID YOU DO!!!!"

>>56350675
but ElementaryOS is basically bootleg OSX
females would be all over that shit

>>56350711
>ElementaryOS
Fuck Im tired. I read that as Enlightenment.
going to bed now.

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>>56350744
El Capitan does look like a toy. Fuck flat design shit.

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>>56347159
>calls someone tech illiterate
>fries own PC

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>>56350805
holy shit it does

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>>56342591

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>>56350862
Nothing has changed from when i used Lion except the flat design shit and the general iOSification that is happening. There is even a iOS like app launcher menu If win 8's start fiasco hadnt happened, it would probabl be the only way to launch apps on OSX too.

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>>56342591

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>>56343227
It's okay little bab
Here americano anime
Enjoy comrade

>>56350941
Yeah, its useless. I mainly use htop for seeing shit about shit, i only use activity monitor for its cpu usage dock icon.

>>56346593
color 0a
tree

>>56350530
here's one you'll like
Bostonfag here
>back before I was with the company my boss had set up some guy's server out in Pittsburgh
>basically just a file/email server, running WS2008
>the guy wanted to be able to access files from outside the LAN, but didn't want to pay for a static IP
>my colleague had set up Bittorent Sync to sync files from the share on the server to his laptop (mind you he had over a terabyte of shit on there)
>eventually that stops working for whatever reason and we can't figure out what the fuck is wrong (or rather, can't be bothered to since the dude is such an asshole)
>switch him over to Google Drive instead
>works fine for a few months, then starts having intermittent problems (the client on the server just stops fucking syncing for no apparent reason until the whole thing is restarted)
>solution is already retardedly overcomplicated
>try to convince him to just get a fucking static IP so we can set up a VPN and let him access the share remotely
>while we're talking he fucking bumps the thing and it falls out of the rack
>hear him verbally shitting himself for a few minutes
>machine's toast (the thing cracked open), but holy fucking god thank you all his files are on Google Drive
>tries to blame my boss for putting it in wrong, boss gets on the phone and jews right back twice as hard
>eventually he agrees to pay a not-yet-negotiated amount for a new server
>wants it by tomorrow
>FUCK you
>throw together a replacement from an old rack machine we had decommissioned
>guess who got to go on a 9 hour drive with no time to plan or anything
>boss gives me a company card for gas (since I'm taking my own car, we didn't have a van), already planning how much he's going to extort from this fuck (which was fine by me)
anyways
>go set it up
>secure it very firmly on the bottom rung of the rack, managed to get him on a static IP, set up a VPN from his sonicwall, hunky dory etc.
>crash at a hotel for the night
>get back late the next day
cont.

>>56351212

>find out that my boss had managed to get $7.5k out of him, charged $1k for the hardware (value of the original server when it was put in even though the "new" one had similar specs and is worth maybe $200 on ebay today) and the rest in "emergency labor involving sudden and extreme travel"
>hands me $1k in cash and takes me out to lunch, gives me a day paid leave (small companies are the best, even though they might pay a bit less they have plenty of perks)
>fast forward one week
>no calls from the guy at all
>SUDDENLY
>server has stopped working
>dude is fucking furious
>no network connection, get him to restart it
>poke around remotely for a bit
>drops again, restart
>figure out that his router had been dropping the lease and not getting it back for some reason - probably just a simple config issue that could've easily be done remotely
>jokingly offer to come out and replace it
>hear a loud crack and the call drops, he must've thrown his cell on the ground
>never hear from him again
best day of my life, dealing with that guy was a pain in the ass
every SINGLE issue he'd try to blame on us
my boss was fucking ecstatic when he heard

>>56351212
>>56351228
come to think of it I have no idea how the email server was working with a dynamic ip
never actually messed with that part myself
I get the feeling my boss's fuckery goes way deeper than I thought

>>56350675
Lol it was her fault that the windows recovery fucked up her patition table. I dont want to load a cracked win 8 on it.

If the key is in the bios it should still be there?! I will ask her to come over and if i find it i will gladly put win 8.1 back on it.

I'm a fucking poorfag spic with tech literate family. My father who is 52 is just now using a smart phone because he wants to keep up with the Reyes down the street isn't as fuck retarded as the people around you.

Is it that odd that out of the 6 children in the family we all became computer literate and like 3 of us are trying to learn programming? IS IT?!?!?!

>Be software engineer
>wife's family finds out
>become instant go to for computer problems because wife's dad, previous guru, tells when people don't understand him
>he doesn't use common terms for desktop items
>clean an aunt in laws laptop twice, complete wipes and reinstall because easiest way
>third time, give her an account with guest permissions, can't even update flash
>never get called by her family to fix anything again

I think the aunt is a little salty that I locked her out of her own pc and warned the grape vine of what I'm willing to do to fix the problem.

I work support for a (big) hosting company. Shit never ends. Pissed off woman on the phone today:

> "i'm trying to make updates to my website but the site isn't changing"
> "ever since I paid to extend my hosting plan for 3 years, it's been having problems"
> "let's see what's going ma'am"
> check basic shit, DNS config, setup is good, etc
> 3 minutes to get her to listen to me long enough to tell me what part of the page the change should be on so I can rule out her browser cache
> ftp into acct
> exact duplicate of website files in directory above webroot

> "ma'am how are you uploading your website files?"
> "what do you mean? I don't ever have to upload anything I just click "publish" in iweb and it changes I haven't changed anything this has worked fine for years and something changed on you guys' servers you need to fix this or I'm gonna switch to another hosting company"
> "okay. the content would need to be uploaded to a specific folder for your site to be online, though. you said iweb? Is that the program you use to edit your website?"
> "yes but it doesn't matter I don't do any uploads I never access and folders or files or whatever I just click the publish button and it's always worked this way"
> "Sure, but it would've had to be configured to publish your content to a specific folder, or else your website wouldn't be online. in cPanel it's this default folder, and—"
> "I don't know what this cPanel stuff is if you wanna use technical terms and go over my head fine, I can do that too I produce films and I can go over your head with technical terms too but you need to fix this problem"
con't

>>56351579
> decline to mention that I've worked in film & theater for years
> "ma'am, I don't mean to go over your head with any terms or anything, but it's physically impossible for your website to be online without something uploading the content to the server—"
> "you guys had to change something on your server because this has always worked and now I renewed for three years and it's broken, I had this problem once before and one of your guys helped fix it and now it's happening again and you need to fix it right now"
> "ma'am the configuration of your hosting has never changed since the product was released. based on what you've said it seems like iweb's configuration got changed on your computer somehow, which is pretty common. this is fine, we just need to review the connection settings and make sure—"
> woman begins arguing about uploads again before transitioning into "where do I find the settings?"
> tired and fucking sick of this lady so I don't google it
> "Sorry ma'am, I'm not familiar with iweb and besides it's outside of our scope to teach you how to use your software"
> demands another agent
> tell her I can't give hre another agent
> explodes
> demands supervisor
> sup is unavailable for at least 2 hours
> take her contact info to give to sup

>>56351212
>>56351228
I'm as happy as I am jelly.

>>56351589
>tfw know how it goes with sup calls

All. The. Fucking. Time. I do tech support for cable, as well as doing regular billing support. Supervisors don't have any extra access to anything that I fucking don't. They have a little more leeway with promotions and all of that, but if I ask them to push a promotion or something through, they'll do it. If I tell you something isn't available, or can't be done, it's because it's not available or can't fucking be done.

These fucking people don't understand that if they'll just be nice, that I'll fucking help you out so much more than I will if you're an asshole. We had a customer calling in repeatedly about a week ago, literally screaming at the top of her lungs. Her husband made a payment on the account with her checking account instead of his own, and it made her checking account bounce. She refused to believe what we were telling her and kept blaming us, and just kept going in circles with the agents. We eventually had to tell her to stop calling in and harassing the agents, and escalated her account information to corporate.

>>56350560
what lasts? it just opens then closes less then a second...it just opens and closes a million times..

I tried adding pause to it and all it shows it how much room i have on my hard drive,,,

>>56351507
>giving the user guest privileges only

This is the best idea ever. Anyone getting dragged in to tech supporting for family should take note.

>Cousin's face book machine keeps on getting infections.
>I keep on getting asked to fix it.
>Last time I get called.
>Okay this keeps happening. I'm going to install a different operating system on your computer.
>Ask for a list of programs used on this computer.
>Install a distro and programs that do the same thing.
>Write down root password. Label it as admin password and don't tell them how to use it.
>"This is very important. I won't remember it but I will need it if you want me to change anything. Don't lose it."
>Get a call about how they want to be able to move files to a phone.
>Show up. "Where's the admin password I wrote down for ya'll."
>They look everywhere and can't find it.
>Think about telling them I can reinstall. Naaah
>"Well give me a call if you find that password. Linux is super secure so even I can't get around it."

That computer still runs like it did the first day I installed Linux 8 years ago. Lock them bitches out of their shit. They don't know what to do with the privileges anyway.

> interning at political theater company for a summer
> administrative intern but quickly the disparity between my tech understanding and that of the small staff becomes apparent
> I become half-admin assistant, all-IT guy
> over time I realize there is a very big problem
> all passwords for all business accounts (social media, email list software, company emails, bookkeeping software, customer contact database, etc.) stored in an unprotected .xls on shared server
> intranet handled via same router as free open wifi
> wireless via WEP
> literally accessible from the sidewalk and could be cracked by a 12-yo
> hundreds of donators' and customers' contact info and payment info, personal contact for all staff, website, and major grant providers' info protected by a (shitty) alphanumeric 13 character password
> or a simple trip upstairs with a lan cable, about 30 seconds from the front door
> or a thumb drive and a trip to the "server", a win2K machine with no password that's always on
> oh, or via the print out in the binder on that bookshelf
> anyone who didn't like their politics with half a fucking brain could utterly ruin them with minimal effort and time
> eaten up because I deeply care about the company's work and message
> offer repeatedly to rebuild their network to make it more secure, plan out and instruct the staff on some basic security practices
> "oh yeah haha, wow, we should probably change that ha"
> agonize for 3 months over that fact nothing will change
> end up working with treasurer's husband towards the end
> worked with networks and databases for major businesses for over 30years
> sees me sweating, chuckles like some wise old monk
> "you can't help those who don't want to help themselves. let it go anon. there's no time left anyway."

>>56347419
Samsung is shit anon.

>>56351637
Our sups will even explicitly say, and tell us to say that they are not here for troubleshooting, have equal or lesser tech ability than us, and are only here for feedback on personnel. It never stops people from trying to get their issue "escalated".

I had a guy argue with me for a fucking hour over a charge on his card. He closed all his services with the company years prior and had no account info to give me to try and access anyway, leaving the one option of searching by credit card number + charge amount. He assumed we charged him based on an email we got and absolutely refused to give me the credit card number for fear that we would charge it. He also refused to check his bank. He still continuously expected me to somehow be able to reverse the charge and find his specific info our of literally millions of customers.

>first year CE student
>CS-130 taught in java
>small, very informal room
>literally nobody has any experience with programming
>every single fucking person takes well over 20 minutes to get "hello world" up and running

I need to get out of this fucking university, I knew it was a bad idea coming here. This is not the type of place you read SICP and learn lambda calculus, this is the kind of place that makes pajeets. It's actually a well-renowned school, just not for STEM. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I'm feeling very alone.

>>56351579
>iWeb
>last release 2011

>>56351836
>This is not the type of place you read SICP and learn lambda calculus, this is the kind of place that makes pajeets.
I'm in a similar place. Had a class on compiler programming, and one of my group members was a girl who couldn't program at all (3rd semester).

>>56351875
>compiler programming
that's substantial at least, here it really feels like this will be going absolutely nowhere as pessimistic as that sounds I just got a really bad first impression
what was your first semester like?

>>56351857
I've had multiple calls where I just had to give someone the bad news that iPage stopped being supported by MS around a decade ago and our systems just don't fucking support it. Also:

> working phone support for TurboTax during tax season
> woman can't save her taxes from the software
> screenshare
> 40 minutes explaining to her the steps to start the screenshare
> hear "You've got mail" in the background
> prepare to sudoku myself
> screenshare finally working
> ridiculous curly fonts everywhere, neon pink windows, Win 2K, AOL confirmed
> I am amazed TurboTax even fucking loads on this woman's computer
> basically "file > save"
> thank you so much anon

>>56351918
why would you subject yourself to working in a call center?

Really I can't see why anybody would want to do that shit.
I mean no offense but if that was the only option I had for some reason, I'd just say fuck it go for some low pay grunt work, like UPS package handling. At least that feels honest.

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>>56342591

>>56351950
Circumstance. That was a temp job, but I still work at a call center. Current job is showing me all I really need is some more concrete experience and knowledge to actually get some sort of admin position elsewhere. Lots of perks to deal the bullshit of it being a call center in the meantime and a better wage than UPS is ever going to give me to move boxes or supervise the box-movers.

I guess at this point I'm just a lazy fuck who's too comfortable to do anything better. Ultimately I intend to go back to school and ruin my life by getting into education, but I gotta fix some other shit first.

>>56344726
pretty gay

though cherish it, it's got a good story behind it!

>>56351914
>what was your first semester like?
The programming classes were not really challenging and many people were struggling with simple stuff, just like you described.
Math was hard for me, but I'm just bad at it.

I now have 2 semesters to go and what really fucks me up is all the business bullshit we have, because of this "educate for the industry" mentality. I don't want to learn about ERP systems and all this crap.
Also, the compiler class was the only C++ course, rest are Java.

Whatever, 2 semesters to go if I manage not to fail the business shit a second time.

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>>56342591

>>56350652

>>56351998
>education
Prepare to hate the world. With the amount of shit teachers have to deal with, im surprised more arent completely insane.

>>56350912
I don't understand the appeal of OSX. I've tried it quite a few times, but the OS just always felt extraordinarily bare to me.

Looking at your screen caps, it reminds me more of Win 95 than anything else.

>>56351794
>there's no time left anyways
so they were already "hacked"?

>>56352123
The appeal is the hardware. I'm just running it on my t420 for keks. Its not too bad if you fit the narrow range of people that it works for (or dont mind fucking with homebrew and other things) i guess.

>>56351751
I don't even bother with that anymore. Whether it's family or coworkers/ their family, my response is always the same at this point.

>Me: The OS is toast. Needs reinstalled. Do you have a windows disk? (I know they don't)
>Them: No. Windows came with this laptop that cost me 100 bucks at wal mart 5 years ago
>Me: K. Well, you can go and buy a disk at about 100 bucks, or I can load up a new OS on it (Linux Mint, but they don't know that). Looks like Windows, mostly acts like Windows. Mint costs 20 bucks, and I want 30 for labor.
>Them: K.

20 minutes later, my work is done. I even have a little leafpad note saved with basic fucking advice so they don't call me up asking why Norton won't work. Since they don't know how to sudo, they never use Terminal. They just keep updating their OS (which is set to "Don't Break My Computer!"

>>56342386
> use png for non vector images

>>56352172
>Linux mint
Holy shit anon you just made it worse

>>56352195
I made it easy on me, and next to impossible for them to fuck up, while keeping it mostly familiar to them.

I also jailfox them.

>>56351794
>"you can't help those who don't want to help themselves. let it go anon. there's no time left anyway."
was he dead?
did you dead?
am i dead?

>>56351794
>there's no time left anyway
What did he mean by this?

I worked in a call center as tier 1 tech support for a webhosting company. There were shitload of tech illiterate people but for some reason I can't remember any specific stories.

The most common thing that shocked me is that people don't know what an address bar is in a browser(or even what a browser is). So many people just open it up and enter the URL into the google search bar on their homepage or some shit.

It's also always fun to explain how nameservers and DNS records work to someone who never heard of those before. Speaking of which you get your share of "IT'S CURRENT YEAR - everything happens in seconds on this magical internet thing - surely it is your fault" when you try to explain DNS propagation times or other stuff you cannot speed up like domain transfers.

Deal with dedicated servers and enterprise customers now so stupid shit is much less common. The only major stupidity here is their 10 year old servers being slow and OOMing all the time and them refusing to migrate to a new one. Other than that, the stupid things happening it's just them having a brainfart and messing with the firewall to lock themselves out or shutting down instead of rebooting their server by mistake or whatever.

>>56350675
>>56350711
yeah man, i have elementary on my laptop just for my girlfriend to use.

>call center stories

Fucking triggered, thanks fucking god I don't work in one anymore I would prefer to be homeless and then starve to death than to work in 1 again

>>56346026
> all she wanted was you dick, not your knowledge
>>asked around for nudies
If he never got them, you're wrong.

>>56351212
why not just a no-ip like service?

>>56342591
Le Reee I am so angery xDDD

>>56343804
It's kinda sad when an old person realizes that, while they don't know jack shit about it, neither does anyone else in the room but you.

There seems to be this age region where people think technology is magic and because they don't understand it there is no way you could understand it.
It's hilarious when you hear about it but frustrating when you encounter it.

>>56351228
> boss had managed to get $7.5k out of him, charged $1k for the hardware
> >never hear from him again
> best day of my life, dealing with that guy was a pain in the ass
Holy hell, is your name Guttenberg or something.

>>56344726
>Moonman X Mac Tonight fanart.jpg

>>56350481
I was thinking the same thing

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>>56353124

It boggles my mind how some people are legally allowed to drive a car but the most user-friendly and idiot-proof computer interfaces in the world are too confusing or too complicated.

See also: watching people try and built their own PC - if they read the fuck manual to each part (especially motherboard) there can be no confusion, but nooo, its all magic, ain't gotta explain shit.

>>56352283
He was just a summer intern. Pretty sure many of them don't stay on.

>>56353388
It's just such a strange way to say it.

>>56342591
>games
>loonix
eh, 3/10

>>56350469
What's so bad about that? Driving is awesome.

>First job
>secretary is very friendly
>ask me to fix her computer
>windows user corrupted
>doing on my lunch break, after login i looked around for a little
>some strange folder
>.mp4's of her husband recording her fuck another guy
>plug my pendrive as fast as light speed
>go home early telling my boss i was sick
>fapped 25 times on that day

>>56346492
>Overclocking a celery

>>56353667
Cuck.

>>56353712
Yeah, her husband was a cuck

>>56346566
base64 /dev/random | pv -qL 150

>>56353748
Later i found out that cuck was the term for this... Maybe she let me fuck her too?
Man... Porn from someine you know personally is the best thing

>>56352179
>png
>vector
???

>>56353667

Was she hot?

>>56346919
I do this too desu
gotta love ice cret

>>56354224
7/10
Thick ass tho

>>56350367
vsync is not the same as frame limit

>>56352357
no greentext no reading

>>56353510
>>56346908
How new are you?

>>56343855
Watch out. This 4chan guy is the top hacker in anonymous.

>>56354699
He released some nudes. His codes are for stealing nudes. Beware!

>>56351683

Did you do it on the root (C)?

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>>56342591
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THIS IS WHY SHOOTINGS HAPPEN

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>if you don't know shit about technic stuff
>lurk these threads anyway not to make these mistakes

>>56353667
plz upload and link,
ty

>>56355254
The lessons to learn are to not act like a twat, read instructions and know when you're ignorant of something.

But those lessons apply to most of life,.

>Build my own computer
>Mom tells relatives like it's some sort of accomplishment
>Cousin:Wow Anon, how did you build the screen?

I was 16 and my cousin was 17 at the time.

I did get asked by family for tech support but not very often and with no noteworthy stories.

>>56344350
what the fuck, your dad is a mad man

>>56350678
agreed

>>56351751
Boot into single user mode breh.

>>56351458
I dont know how the fuck it works, its not going to just say the key. You have to recover it yourself with some third party programs, probably from within a windows environment.
The way my vista works is I just install windows and it just verifies itself. If I ever replace my motherboard in that computer I would loose vista rights.

>try to fix a laptop for someone my dad works with
>just won't work right, shit won't open, constant errors
>clearly corrupted registry, needs wiping
>didn't realize it had a recovery partition and I could have restored windows 10 directly from Windows.
>accidentally nuke the recovery partition trying to reinstall windows
>try to recover it but it's fucked so I give up
>finally get Windows installed, update, install drivers
>place a screenshot of the previously installed programs on the desktop for her
>totally bodged the whole process I totally deserve to be yelled at
>I give it back and tell her if she has anymore problems let me know (like not being able to reset from recovery partition because shits gone)
>she gives me $120 cash and some fuck me eyes she's so grateful

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>>56355979

>>56351212
>>56351228
Got a good chuckle.
>tfw its usually me breaking my phone.

Heres a short one that is typical for me
>friends computer is fucked
>lives far away
>Get him to install botviewer
>the computer is so fucked the "connecting" part takes several minutes
>finally get on
>manage to install malwarebytes which took forever
>Start scan
>scan takes literally a whole night
>about the time the scan should be finishing his bitch gf gets pissy and shuts the computer off cause "its hers and shell do whatever she wants"
>I tell him Im not doing that again
>he said I dont blame you, I wouldnt either

>>56351794
> "oh yeah haha, wow, we should probably change that ha"
> "you can't help those who don't want to help themselves. let it go anon. there's no time left anyway."
This one was genuinely hilarious

>>56351579
>> "I don't know what this cPanel stuff is if you wanna use technical terms and go over my head fine, I can do that too I produce films and I can go over your head with technical terms too but you need to fix this problem"
There needs to be a law against normies buying servers.

>>56351637
>tech support for cable

>have internet through cable
>constantly getting ddosed on my home connection
>have messages from some scrub bragging about ddosing me including using the term ddos itself
>have router logs showing dozens of connections INCOMING at the exact same time
>call isp
>they dont even know what a ddos is
>try to explain it
>well lets just try resetting it again
>reset my modem for house before they tell me the modem is defective
>wont give me a new ip
>go into isp office for same issue a few days after/before trying to get dynamic ip for same skid ddosing me
>nobody there understands me
>get to talk to manager
>he brings tech with him to translate
>tech keeps his mouth shut and head down
>I show the logs
>manager ignores everything I show him
>Explain everything to him including how a ddos works
>he has the nerve to snap his fingers and actually say word for word "Actually, I know what this is. That dns virus that they just shut down, some of it spilled over into the actual web" Then tells me to just wait a bit and run virus scans and "I should be good".
>absolutely will NOT give me a dynamic ip
>finally get new modem because they still think this one is defective
>new modem = new ip So I go with it
>he goes back to the back to get paper work
>secretaries walk by with a smug smile and says "get banned from a game?" and keeps on walking

This isp is the most evil piece of shit I have ever dealt with. Speed is less than half of what we pay for and its capped to hell. Called a dynamic ip with literal 3 day lease time "dynamic". In the real world, that is static. Fuck you. I've left it unplugged for days and still get the same ip.

>>56351751
>That computer still runs like it did the first day I installed Linux 8 years ago. Lock them bitches out of their shit. They don't know what to do with the privileges anyway.

>yfw this is the reason "apple is good and dont get viruses" is a thing

>>56357624
What the actual fuck I got angry by your story.

>>56351836
>Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

>learning math for future classes
>have to use piece of shit software made by people that don't know how to do math
>applied problems are really inspecific
>"calculate the slope of the angle"
>Its a fucking roof, that means one side slopes upwards, the other side slopes downwards
>doesnt specify which side of the roof
>theres 30 different angles in the blueprint and only two or three measurements that don't tell you where they actually go
>wind up doing the problem backwards for the same angle on the other side of the roof
>get question wrong like I'M the fuck up

>they teach the math different every year
>things that are set in stone are literally redefined the next semester

>>56351914
Listen to me, first of all don't think you are going to make big bucks as a computer programer, this isn't the 1980's anymore.
Second, and most important. If they are teaching you idiot stuff, all you will know is idiot stuff, and you will have a shitty profession.
I wouldn't even take a class that starts you off with a meme language like python.
If I'm going into be a computer programmer, don't teach me how to be a fool.
If you are capable of doing the job, don't let them waste your time or money.

>>56351950
>UPS package handling
>that
>feels
>honest

How does it feel knowing you helped deliver dragon dildos to chris chan?

>>56352123
The built in software is actually pretty good - for example Preview is a hidden gem.

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>old customer ask for something to clean her Windows
>you want an antivirus?
>no, something to clean my Windows.
>We also have Ccleaner if that's want you mean.
>ask her a bunch of questions about her PC.
>she is very confused at this point.
>realize that by Windows, she's referring to the screen.
>she just want some lemon pledge or something
>mfw

>>56350634
Almost day in and day out, my friend.

I also get other lower level techs who don't understand that Date and Time being correct on a device MATTERS. They get all offended when I ask them if the date and time is correct and set on automatic.

>>56352210
>jailfox
whats that exactly

>>56352139
>>56352269
>>56352283

No time left for me to help. Summer was over, I lived in another state.

>>56352110
>Prepare to hate the world.
>Prepare
>implying

Why do you think I want to get into it in the first place? Unless I become so exemplary at something else that I do/create something impactful enough to change society directly, the best I can do is foster thinking capabilities in da yout.

>>56353613
>Driving is awesome.
Yea it is, but Ive found the older you get the more of a chore it becomes.
Its especially worse when youre not just joyriding. Personally, Ill take off through the backroads of my mountain state with the gps turned off and come out in some random place half a day later. I love it.
But when you HAVE to go to some bullshit place for some bullshit reason its just a chore. Fucking hate driving to the store, fucking hate going to the next state to just get parts, fucking hate driving an hour just to get a cd. When driving isnt what you want, its like watching paint dry, but its still better than watching grass grow so if I have to wait for a place to open, driving is defiantly better.

>>56357067
I had no idea what that was at the time. All I knew about linux back then was it's hard to fuck up without root, malware targets the big targets, and with enough google you can figure anything out. Even if I had I probably wouldn't have done it. I would have had to explain mounting a to them.

>>56357653
Exactly. The nerfing of computers is a response to the idiotrs that use computers. When configuring a computer configure it for the user. If the user is an idiot, idiot proof that shit.

>>56353748
>>56353667
You know you could have fucked her instead of just watching her get fucked.

>>56350660
Nice, I actually really like that analogy. I was going to start using a lightbulb analogy. The brighter it is the hotter it'll be.

A lot people bitch that their shit is "overheating" when really it's just being worked hard.

>>56350693
Hahaha, god, luckily I don't work with any custom built computers. I never see any of the retarded fuck ups that people would do to the internal components.


Here's a story from when I worked at a Geek Squad.
>Some idiot decides that we should have a window where clients can watch us do repairs.
>Even more stupid, we have our monitors that we use to connect to the KVM switch facing out towards the window. Clients can see the screen.
>I'm working on a computer with one of those monitors.
>Get thirsty and step away for a drink.
>Come back and I see a porn screen saver through the window.
>Customers can see the porn.
>Make a mad dash to the computer and change theme to Windows 7 Basic.
>No one seemed to have notice.

I really don't get why people leave their porn in plain view. They also leave their CP in plain view too. We've called the cops on a few people.

>>56354677
Can you just explain?

>>56344460
>>no its my gift gtfo
I lol'd

>>56352357
> shutting down instead of rebooting
Do they not have a KVM console or something.

>>56358493
Buy a motorcycle (not a harley, aka a car on two wheels), paly don't-get-killed-by-the-crossovers, and suddenly all those gentle roads with low speed limits americans love are exciting again.

>>56358545
>the last part
What the actual fuck? Which country?

>>56357624
> >call isp
You should've called his ISP and tell them about the fucker.
> In the real world, that is static.
The fuck? I have a dynamic IP which changes once in 6 months. Shit's still dynamic because it changes.

>>56358545
>luckily I don't work with any custom built computers.
No, I meant like you said trying to explain to them how a cpu can be so hot, don't slip up and say something like "and some cpus can get soo hot that a heatsink wont work anymore and people have to water cool them".
Because to a pleb that means "if you hold it under water it will be even cooler, yea Imma turbo charge my cooling"
Then they literally pour water on it or stick their computer in a bucket of water and turn it on.

>I really don't get why people leave their porn in plain view
I dont either. When I was a kid my gf at the time's step father had porn screen saver slide show, photo shopped elephant dicks railing girls on a beach.. I didn't know and their basement was flooding so I went to notify him before some shit got really fucked up.. went in there and saw it, he then scolded me about "you shouldn't just go into peoples bed rooms", but could tell from his face he was more embarrassed than anything.
If their bedroom was in the back on the house or something that would be one thing, but it was literally attached to the front living room (where we were) and there was no doors, just a blanket halfway pulled across the doorframe.

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>>56358633
>gentle roads with low speed limits Americans love
literally do 30 on these roads all the time. Any faster an you'd fly off the road or not have time to stop when another car comes.

>>56346026
I bet that when you were a kid, when a girl asked for help on math or science homework, that she wanted your D more than she wanted an A.

>>56358736
I said it was a ddos, not a dos. His isp wouldnt do shit.
I would have to call the isp of every bot that was used and convince them to contact the customer bot and get them to disinfect their computer
>protip: it wont show up on a virus scan

>long lease time is dynamic
I didnt mean for that to be interpreted literally. I meant in a real world situation, a retardedly long lease time is going to function the same as a static ip.

>>56358870

Thats not a road its a path.

>>56357470
There needs to be a cultural shift that stops the species from breeding massive retarded faggots

>>56358736
>6 months
What the fuck? In turkroachland, we change IP's every night and when we restart our modems.

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I dindu nuffin>>56342591

>>56350400
>-.-
Hows reddit these days?

>>56358545
>I really don't get why people leave their porn in plain view. They also leave their CP in plain view too. We've called the cops on a few people.
The fuck? Aren't you supposed to be pretty technical to even get to the stuff with TOR and what not? How can you be so stupid to let in be in plain sight then?

>>56358997
>implying there is a difference here

>>56357986
>>56358028
kek

>>56359043
b-but anon, were all the same!

>>56350805
year of the linux desktop, we've had that look for the last 15 years nigga

otherwise known as, "I don't know how to do design"

>>56359075
TOR is easy as shit, bro.

>>56342869
As a CS major I still had to take a basic computing course. It was weird having a grown person go around a computer lab helping people learn how to copy and paste.

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>>56358997
This same road gets really narrow, you have to drive into the ditch and take turns passing.
Also guardrails are a luxury, not a right.

>>56357871
I do not care about big bucks.

Sincerely I want to get a real education and achieve satori. This isn't the place for that.

>>56357624
>Actually, I know what this is. That dns virus that they just shut down, some of it spilled over into the actual web.

I can't stop laughing at this I feel retarded haha

>>56358545
>fixing computers for Network Administrator internship
>anon your pretty good a buddy of mine 50 bucks etc
>fine
>desktop loads up
>Recycle bin, windows media, outlook, turbotax, 8year old sucks dog.avi you know the usual

>>56343906
Did something like that in school, opened cmd twice changed the color to matrix reloaded and ran tree on repeat and let my bud say, don't hack the school man that's dangerous.
Almost got expelled if not for the it guy lmaoing at the school board when i explained what I was doing

>freelance sysadmin
>doing consulting work for startup
>lead developer refuses to believe that docker has security vulnerabilities
>explain that the containers are dependent on the host virtual machine, security wise
>refuses to believe me
>claims I am just trying to get more hours out of them
>they setup an AWS EC2 instance with Ubuntu server
>SSH on port 22 just open to the world with some crappy password. No fail2ban or any basic protection
>warn them and they do not listen, claim docker is bullet proof again
>done with client
>2 weeks later get phone call with a desperate plea for help
>some script kiddie brute forced theie way into VM

>>56358428
He meant firejail.

>>56344460
Post the painting

>be tech savy me
>dad wants me to fix his friends computer
>pretty friendly guy so I do it for free
>only 16 at this point
>has different problems that I cant remember
>slow and viruses
>ask dad what his friend does on his computer
>facebook, news, the regular stuff
>check installed software and delete obvious virus software
>X Y Z
>ok almost done
>open google chrome
>recently/most viewed sites on the about:new tab
>"older pisses on little dirty slut"
>some other kinky ass fucking porn
>watdoido
>realize this dude is into some fucking weird shit
>ctrl+h
>literarily all this guy does is watch hardcore kinky porn
>go trough maybe 2-5 pages of porn history
>turn off
>"Here, I fixed your friends computer"
>never laughed so hard
>comes back 3 months later wondering why his computer went slow again
>well...

>>56359673
>ssh on 22 open to the world
What is the right way to setup this kind of shit anyway?
Set ssh to some random port and have fail2ban? is there anything else I should be doing?

>>56359708
Thanks, Wasnt familiar with linux sandboxs.
>tfw I cant even see the captcha
Its just a black box with a window at the bottom

>>56359736
>>well...
lol
I dont know how anyone can live there the late '90s and early to mid 2000s and NOT know how to not get a virus.

>work in IT at a lab
>basically IT support for doctors
>doctor calls me, saying printer doesn't work
>go through several different troubleshooting steps
>"is your printer on?"
>"are you sure you're printing to the printer?"
>"are you sure your printer is connected?"
>"can you turn your printer on and off?"
>here I'm thinking that it's just a defect with the printer
>tell my manager about it
>he sends me off to replace the printer
>I check the printer before I replace it
>they connected the usb cable to the network port

for those of you who get pissed when IT support asks dumb questions, this is why.

That's another question I need to ask for when this shit happens

>>56346828
I remember sending my grandpa shortcuts for programs via outlook 5.
Good times.

>>56359811
That one is a hard one to catch if youre not paying attention
>go to grandparents
>they are in the middle of fucking with a printer
>oh youre just in time.jpg
>fuck with it
>make sure its plugged into the computer
>check the software
>reingstall the software
>check windows device manager
>its fucked.jpg have to get a different one
>somthing tells me to keep fucking with it
>even though the usb-b plug is all the way in and I dont see silver, decide to make sure its stug
>its just sitting in there
>mfw they plugged it into the telephone/ethernet port
Was sorta proud of them for having it all setup right otherwise, that one could have been an honest mistake.

also:
>been on linux for years
>literally forgetting how to use windows
>people still think Im a windows fixing god
>cant even remember how to do basic shit at this point
>tfw they ask "whats wrong with it" and all I can think is "I dont even know anymore"

>>56359748

Change the port, disable UseDNS, setup fail2ban, use a complicated 16+ char password and if you know you only need to access it at home you can even firewall it off and whitelist your ip. VPN only access is what is preferred though so you can access it anywhere.

>this august
>working in retail store, more of a fixer than a seller
>hag calls the store
>hi there how may i help
>I BOUGHT THAT LAPTOP IN NOVEMBER WITH INTERNET ON IT AND NOW IT SAYS ITS EXPIRED
>what do you mean with internet on it
>INTERNET WHAT ELSE???
>we... dont sell laptops with internet acces, only one kind but even that needs a sim card
>DONT FUCK WITH ME ILL GO IN AND TALK TO YOUR BOSS IF YOU REFUSE TO HELP
>k
>10 minutes earlier her piece of shit old fart man came in with the same shit
>already knew the shitter was talking about the office pack and not the actual internet
>flips mad shit at our customer support
>THIS WHOLE COUNTRY IS SO SHIT WHY DO I EVEN LIVE HERE YOU ARE ALL WORTHLESS
>total madness
>customer support guy flips
>"SIR, if you dont go to an internet service provider SIR and pay for a licence SIR then you SIR WONT have SIR internet SIR Access, SIR if you SIR buy a big ass tv it wont have magically 500 channels SIR SIR you have to go to SIR the SIR company to SIR ....."
>shit goes on for half an hour
>endless battle, immovable object, unstopable force
>im just standing there i made my statement that he's retarded
>somehow agree on the solution that the fucker will bring in the laptop and i'll check it
>later
>old fart with hag in the store
>hands me the laptop
>starts the good ol' bambling about how the whole store is shit
>open up, start office
>says its expired
>might be because you're not connected to the internet
>my time to shine
>rotate the laptop so the fuckers can see
>connect to the wifi
>restart office
>yell BOOM 2 hands in the air and walk away as my boss laughing his ass off under the table
>get back about half hour later, had some food
>still seeing the fuckers
>now they are ejecting all the bullshit they could muster like "how do i create folder" and shit

fuck old people

>>56359201
What is this? A screenshot from the FBI?

>>56359075
>Aren't you supposed to be pretty technical to even get to the stuff
/b/ isn't very hard to get to.

>>56359919
cool, thanks

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>>56358914

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>>56350969
>>56350941
Just get iStats Menu

Its fuckin lit fâm

>>56346474
these fucking office drones treat their glorified typewritters likes its some fancy ass badge, I'd bet their entire social hierarchy revolves around who has the most sticky notes or the newest keyboard.

>>56359960
We dont talk about that.

>>56359811
That's why they should have a secret password among the power users.
related xkcd: https://xkcd.com/806/

>>56359725
But I did post it, anon-san.
>>56344726

>>56359428
What the actual fuck

>>56353178
my boss is the turbokike, I'm just your standard everyday yank

OH, I have a great one!

>4chan /g/
>banner contest
>thread to make banners
>whole thread filled with images that didn't adhere to the banner rules
>/g/ - technology

Fucking retards.
That thread was embarrassingly stupid.
Not a single board has had that problem.
Legit fucking mad-palmed.

>>56359075
>Aren't you supposed to be pretty technical to even get to the stuff with TOR and what not?
Yeah it's super hard. First you have download it. Then you have to run it.

>>56360360
>still using windows

>>56360378
and then what anon?

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>>56350560
>mfw it lasts no more than 2 secs in my 1tb hdd

>>56360513
wonder why the mods deleted these posts/banned those users
>inb4 Im never heard from again

>>56360438
Buy heroin with buttcoins.

>>56360621
b-but heroin is bad!
Can I buy something else instead?

>>56351836
first year university subjects generally are designed so that anyone can do them with no sort of prior knowledge (as long as they've done high school maths and english).

Just be grateful you've got an easy subject.

>>56360668
Anarcocaine

The cocaine that fucks the system

>>56360723
:(
That sounds bad too!
is there something else I can buy?

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>>56358545
>They also leave their CP in plain view too
never encountered that specifically, but

>helping out a business client
>installing some shit on their server, using one of their workstations to connect remotely through since the server itself is firewalled off the internet
>set things running, go get lunch while it installs
>come back to find two other techs sitting around my machine laughing
>someone had started watching granny porn on the workstation I was remoted into
>call the guy
>mention that I need to "get back on" the workstation to check on the server's progress
>guy goes all quiet, starts closing all the windows
>"o-oh, right"
>"you're not still connected, are you?"
>assure him that I'm not
>"reconnect"
>finish the job
>never see the guy in the same light again

>>56360740
Votes in the Senate?

>>56360824
oh that sounds like fun!
Whats for sale in terms of cameras? Sorta want highly specialized cameras for cheap. Is that a thing or are they more expensive?

>>56350654
How hard is it to get a job there? I don't find postings for them often.

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I wonder how many people in this thread drink heavily because of shit like this.

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>Neighbours ask me to install microsoft office on their computer
>its ancient and runs vista
>it's so slow that there's a 20 second delay whwn opening my documents
>I uninstall McAfee and install Malwarebytes
>this takes over 2 hours
>it finds several hundred viruses
>It takes the rest of the day to remove them all, I go home and leave it running
>when scan is finished and computer is running tolerably well I install office from thepiratebay
>Neighbour gives me thirty euro

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>dad tells me his computer is not working
>check it out after work
>open it
>find cold compress on GPU
>"The chips were getting hot"

>>56347419
My mom sold her iphone SE for a motorola G4 plus, she likes it better than the iphone.

>>56358508
I learned years ago that no matter how much work you put into idiot-proofing that there exists a better class of idiot.

Our team rolled out Windows N.T. Terminal Server to about 400 users. We were told by management to lock it down. I spent 2 weeks reg-hacking my way into the most secure NT server ever released. They couldn't do shit but print and open the 2 apps needed to do their jobs. No open channels to get to explorer or cmd anywhere. No goddamn browser either.

After finally getting QA & mgmt to agree that it was bulletproof, I took the day off while my partner rolled it out. It lasted 42 FUCKING MINUTES!
When I got back the monkeys were all working, so I asked how he fixed the issue. He laughed, "I rolled back to vanilla NT and sent out a memo that said THE NEXT PERSON TO TAMPER WITH SOFTWARE THAT IS NOT DIRECTLY NECESSARY FOR THEIR JOB FUNCTION WILL BE IMMEDIATELY TERMINATED."
They will always find a bigger idiot.

>>56361011
It's a good day when the people you're helping aren't blaming or insulting you while or after you work. Even if the client is a fucking idiot, if they're calm and patient about it, it's not too bad. I can live with people who have no idea how to save a file, but I can't live with people who constantly tell you they aren't an idiot and proceed to repeatedly prove themselves wrong. However, nothing really beats that heart sinking feeling after driving for 2 hours, ringing the doorbell and no one comes to the door.

>>56360424
>>56360513
What was this?

>>56361289
>fails at locking down software
>took a pleb only 42 minutes to circumvent all of your blocks
>call the pleb the idiot
wewlads

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>tfw got hired for IT helpdesk
>start work soon
>see this thread
I think I made a mistake

>>56361332
424 was in reply to someone giving me shit about forgetting windows stuff after being on linux for years.

513 was probably the post that said to do dir /s in windows to recursivly list all of your files or something.

>>56361359
>helldesk
hoo boy
have fun with that
I'd rather die than go back there

>>56361367
Huh, what a weird thing to get deleted.

anything related to in granny in law

buy snew computer."everything works fine and internet is on"

SO she gets some old computer lady over to update windows an dinstall AVG for $100
I have more worse stories like wifi being off and her freaking out and scared when I mention going to reboot the router. I swear she thinks I'm either a retard or out for her credit card info. She's nice but so much cringe with computer. Literally doesn't understand that AOL mail is just a server and not an actual program she needs to set up.

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>>56361332
>>56361387

>>56353691
>Not overclocking a celery

>>56361383
Better than working at mcdonalds I guess

>>56361452
Why the fuck were those deleted? That's ridiculous.
Those are on topic and even if they weren't there's much more off topic shit on here to delete. Such as my thread, but it's on page 9 rn so I guess it's ok, janny will never find it

>>56357624
you realize that if you change your mac address it will assign you a new ip, right? my cable company also has a static ip that will never change, but changing the mac address and restarting the modem and router always gets me a new ip.

>>56361527
That anon probably did something to piss off a mod, so the mod deleted all his posts.

Pure speculation, though.

>>56361550
Ive heard shit about that but there isnt an option to change the routers mac on the customer login or the technician login.

>>56361486
marginally

>>56360052
Dont feel like paying for it.

>>56361667
i have some cheapshit rosewill router i bought for $20 and even that allows me to change the mac address. you can try some spoofing software i guess.

>>56351794
>DNC intern

>>56361873
Its a (probably cheap shit) modem-router provided by the internet company. This thing is so locked down its retarded.
The customer login doesn't even have the rights to change the wifi name OR password.
The tech login I have, I'm really not suppose to have, does have access to the passwords and stuff, but still doesn't have an option for the mac. I just went through it again.
You do mean change the mac of the router/modem right? Or do you mean change the computers mac that is on the first Ethernet port?

>>56362040
i change the mac address of the router because it's a built in function, but i imagine that spoofing the computer mac address should get you a new IP too.

>be me as that's all I can be
>working at Toys R Us in the video game section
>woman comes in with PS2, whining kids in tow
>asks if I can fix it
>she what I can do
>hook it up to a display TV
>actually loads ups
>thanks me profusely, offers to by me a soda
>"No, doesn't matter"
>she took it as it doesn't matter what soda

I don't think I did anything to fix it, was probably just plugged in wrong.

>>56345885
So why aren't you? I'm sure there's a market for that shit, even as gag gifts

>>56361136
I use ice to cool my chips

>>56361136
Lel