Hacker stories thread? >Windows Defender is forced in Windows

>>55957341
>using windows 10 unironically

>>55957341
>Windows 10

>>55957341
>Windows 10

>>55957341
>take ownership, remove all permissions for every user
Give it a couple weeks. Windows 10 randomly resets permissions.

>>55957341
>Windows 10

>>55957341
>Windows 10

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You're fucking done, kid.

>>55957612
>those tabs
Nice spin on an old favorite, anon

>>55957341
>Spyware 10

>>55957612
>No Stylish rice, default firefox
>abp not ublock og
>Mediocre meme tabs 6/10
step it up, come on man.

>>55957657
>>55957740
Joke's on you faggots only two of those tabs are ironic.

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>>55957341
posting through 3 virtual private networks and a proxy
>2012. Normal morning
>Having a sip of redbull while programming some hacker things you wouldn't understand
>I'm interrupted by animegirl.mp3
>"more mail huh"
>open tormail
>message from a skid called "j4Ys1n"
>"Hey gr3ênW1nD, I hear you're quite the hacker. Dare to duel? connect and lets battle: 127.0.0.1"
>urfuckingdonekid.xml
>attatch to his internet protocol
>his firewall is 40 kilobytes wide
>too long to go around
>butthatdidn'tstopme.qpu
>I furiously coded a ddos at 180wpm with my dvorak tactile keyboard
>DDOS COMPLETE. FIREWALL : DOWN
>check my security monitor
>he has already breached my firewall
>"shit, I need to go in hard"
>put on my mask, gloves, and shades
>play GITS soundtrack in the background
>raise my rolley chair
>im ready
>fingers now typing at 249wpm
>First things first, I need to take over his router for direct access to the pc
>with his firewall down I begin portforwarding all of his ports
>now with all the ports open I can send the virus I'll make later
>make my way into the mainframe
>I'm prompted for a password
>I ddos it in under 10 seconds
>decryption starting, 15 hours remaining
>I have no fucking time for this he could already be in my system
>I ddos the decryption as hard as I can
>2 hours remaining
>my face sweat is getting all over my hands
>all of the sudden, decryption drops to 1 hour
>I completely forgot
>water conducts electricity, speeding up the ddos electrons
>I turn my themometer up from 60 to 100
>I check the security monitor, hes decrypting my mainframe with only 30 minutes left
cont..

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>>55959050
>"fuck"
>I need more liquid
>look to my waifu miku
>I know what I must do
>take off trenchcoat and skinny jeans
>furiously masturbate to waifu
>SECURITY ALERT 10 MINUTES REMAINING UNTIL MAINFRAME EXPOSURE
>INEEDTOCUMRIGHTNOW
>look out window, see the shoulder of a real human female walking down the street
>only female interaction I've had in months
>immidiate ejaculation
>ACCESS GRANTED
>I need to code this virus quick, he only has 1 minute remaining
>come on cmd don't fail me now
>blazing at 400wpm, the friction of typing is blistering including the 100 degree room
>done with virus
>30 seconds remaining
>uploaded virus to his computer
>10 seconds remaining
>why hasnt it stopped
>5 seconds remaining
>oh no, picrelated.jpg
>3 seconds remaining
>I have made a fatal mistake
>1 second remaining
>macs can't get viruses
>pc explodes

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>>55959050
>>55959059
Not bad.

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>>55958961
I do squats with one of those (mine are 4 kg, and slightly longer) by lubing it up and shoving it (only one of the sides,though) up my ass; it doesn't hurt at all. I sometimes even pound it hard on the ground when I do squats so I can feel it shaking up my insides.

Have any of you done something 'creative' like this before, /fit/?

>>55959059
its fake hackers have their windows sealed tight

10/10 thread
never change, /b/

le

>>55957785
No matter which ones you single out, the remainders still scream autism.