post the very best of IT humor

Good thread, OP

Epic joke dude

https://telegram.me/programmerjokes
Too lazy to open a browser app so I'm typing the link here to tap

There are 10 kinds of people.
Successful, smart, attractive people who understand binary and OP's mom.

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Ebin joke op

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[spoiler]LOL

>>55925319
Jeebus, they could at least TRY with the variables!

if(canRead(this, you)) {
    get(girlfriend);
}

>>55925561
Then Chad or Stacy couldn't understand it, obviously.

>>55925561
How dare you make me read this with my own two eyes

>>55925349
A for main or class definitions.
B for helper functions, methods, and blocks.

>>55925561
>>55925319
darknet heroin to who explains this joke to me.

>>55925349
first for Visual Studio
second for IntelliJ Idea

should i just end it?

>>55925349
heh.. us programmers, am i right?

>>55925115
thank you.

>>55925366
only good one

>>55925290
Have a (You) on me

>>55927562
>(You) on me

Faggot

>>55926801
that's kinda funny

>>55925319
And kys if you think it's funny

>>55928031
Doesn't it got better after a patch? Also requesting source webm so I can shop other single-threaded programs on it.

>>55928251
I haven't seen the source in a while. Hard to find one without watermarks too unfortunately.

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>>55928123
>he says "kys"

>>55928054
That's pretty nightmare inducing, probably cause it's so believeable.

>>55928978
>He doesn't have query sanitization

>>55926028
I think you probably got it, it's just not funny dude

>>55926801
This is the best thing in the entire thread.

>>55926260
>I work from home
suuuuuure

>>55930013
lots of shitty jobs are doable from home. Mechanical Turk is like an internet sweat shop where you spend all day transcribing pictures of receipts that are too blurry or shitty for OCR to process. you would (presumably) do that from home.

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>>55925319
>>55925561
Am I doing it right?

if(You.understand(this)) You.get(aGirlfriend);

>>55928251
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFKvFcr01RY
Starting from 6:00

>>55930166
Incredible.

>>55925947
T H I S
H
I
S

>>55928322
kys yourself

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>>55928978

>>55930165
No, that's poor design.

>>55926266
so cool

>>55928064
heres your (You)

>>55930209
What's the point of x and xx? Wouldn't it make more sense to do it as xy and xx or something?

>>55930445
Or simply x and y?

Google 'bastard operator from hell' oldfags only

>>55930460
XX and XY makes it about genders, though, which counts as a subtle dig at both misandrists and migosynists.

>>55925319
Shouldn't it be this.understand?

>>55930500
Among other things wrong with that image, yes.

>>55930209
I studied mechanical engineering
Syill, wouldn't it be better to just use an if(x==xx) return true and an else if return false?

>>55930511
No the only sane anwser would be
return x == xx;
Anything else is bad style.
In the end this method dosent even make sense anyway since as you can see a function is not even needed.

>>55928978
What is the original joke on the series? Never watched that episode.

>>55930439
Thanks senpai

Here's your (you)

>>55925349
Always the first one

>>55930209
There's no way anyone could be this retarded

>>55930835
Welcome to the world!

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>>55924820
If I wanted an IT humor, I would ask for your latest codes

>>55930572
it's not an episode, moe doesn't end up naked after a bart call
but bart's prank calls are a running joke

>tfw i have watched every simpson episode and i'm starting to hate it but too autist to stop

>>55931498
>If I wanted an IT humor, I would ask for your latest codes
Best one here.

>>55930570
In C++ you can overload the == operator in a way that (x == y) != (y == x) could be true.

>>55925947
Might as well put the blocked code in the second type in a function for itself and do away with the curly brackets. That code sets itself up for a wrap warp, something I only noticed after moving from fiction to non-fiction instructional books, where my eyes expect a wrap and do away with the right peripheral. As if I were "picturing" the code. It's too forceful a design and doesn't set a positive bound on either end of the window or class bounding area. If they wanted it to follow a strict design, they should have gone with:

if(Condition )
{
    /*
      ...
   */
                             }

at least this way it's clear that the bound is only imaginary and by no chance dictated less or more than symbolically. The second type only acts as a convenience to those that think typing fast makes for cooler people. Even in this third type, though, all that's being created is a waste of space. In the first type, reading through the wasted space isn't a thing as the next block is designated on the next line, meanwhile the second type has a split in convenience. It's clear to me that this is not about convenience but rather a sense of assimilation where design is the key and it must kept principled over the reality that computers need proper care and maintenance rather than they are machines made to do things fast for us.

There have been days where my computer ran hot for no reason just to keep me warm. >8^)

>>55932606

How so? are you talking about using values that are just too big for a data type of N bits?

>>55932606
For non Integer object class, yes, but that is returning an int. They don't allow the overloading of operations for primitive types for a reason.

Please stop reading instructional books and learn you some proper reasoning, as made for adults.

>>55928031

kek'd

>>55926801

>need to take a brake tho

>>55928031
>5 cores

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>>55925349
Literally if you ever use the first one you are straight cancer, your code looks like shit, and you are shit.

>>55925349
What are the benefits of using the first? The 2ne is easier to read and looks nicer.

>>55933427
You know that quote means "You can pound all that pussy, but at the end of the day you still gotta raise the children", right?

Also, code isn't supposed to look pretty. It's supposed to run well. The first one compiles slightly faster than the second one AND allows for many other conveniences in prototyping and modularization of process.

>>55933427
it said to check'em but I didn't see'em. Dubcek these though.

>>55926801
DELETE THIS POST

t.pajeet
PHD 4chan/rebbit Viral Marketing
Calcutta Technological Institute

>>55925349
Left.
Always.

>>55928079
>>55929546
>>55933155
It's at least as bad as any other post in this thread. So fake it hurts eyes.

>>55928978
is this a quip at Archive.moe from their major server crash last year?

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>>55925349

>>55926260
>(screaming kid in background)
kek, so many times i've heard that

>>55937125
wtf happend?

>>55937125
Aftermath of emacs?

>>55930494

>oldfags only
Oldfags already know BOFH though, only newfags don't.

>>55930570
Unless you wanna log whenever any two ints are compared.

>>55937714

>37 bids

Oh the humanity

>>55924820
>>55925319
>>55925349


hilarious jokes guys hehe eeksdee

>>55926801
So can someone ELI5 as to what's going on here? He executed a program via inputing code in the text field?

>>55924820
>>55925115
>>55925319
>>55925349
>>55928031
>>55928247
>>55930415
>>55937465
>>55937714
>>55937727
>>55937747
>>55937770
>>55937793
>>55937833
>>55937847
>>55937862
>>55938083
>>55938101
>>55938112
>>55938132
>>55938202
SO FUNNY!!!!
Go back to facebook, retard

>>55938264
NO U

>>55937727

HHGTTG?

>>55926801
someone just broke a skype scam bot.

>>55938132
>empty case in water
wow, what a badass.

>>55938264
faggot

>>55937862
>javascript in charge of integer division

>>55938202
kys

>>55926801
DROP ALL THA TABLES

>>55926801
Shows how shallow and unsophisticated these so called 'bots' are

>>55937465
Goddamn the gameboy was a piece of shit.

>>55930500
>>55930503
As far as I can tell, there are literally 0 languages that put this after the variable.

But I am not an expert on the subject so please do not quote me.

>>55925349
>get code with the right formatting
>ctrl+a, alt+f8
>is now the correct, left formatting
Based Visual Studio.

>>55930166
Holy shit the guys on the left got brutally served

>>55937740
the first bidder might have just wanted a nice box for $4

>>55931526
Im binge watching it atm started at season 1 episode 1 (couldn't find the simpsons shorts when they had really bad animation and design) right now I'm on season 23 episode 6.

It's not bad, but the characters have changed lisa isn't smart anymore, bart isn't a big badass kid, marge isn't that normal person caught up in homers/barts mess anymore but homer is still an idiot.

>>55938264
0/10
Thanks for the bump though

>>55941608
>>55941617
how are those funny?

>>55941627
Yup, they just copy pasted that shit

>>55941627
>#ThankYouSteve for exploiting the poor labor laws

>>55938132
>>55938495
this

ways to make it actually funny:
- really drop the actual computer (well, that's retarded but at least it's something)
- make a watercooling loop go through the pool (also retarded, but will somewhat work for some time)

>>55938249
Bot's parser didn't sanitize its input and treated is as code to execute, because JS. It's the equivalent of '1=1"; SELECT * FROM users; --' SQL injection.

>>55932904
Just make it return (x>y) and presto. Or any noncommutative logical operator.

>>55938249

imagine you have a programming language

String X = 'a word' 

the computer knows when the string starts and when it ends based on the quotations

now imagine that the bot is reading each chat line as a string.

the quotes in the reply probably fucked up the bot because they ended the string earlier than it was supposed to and put a bunch of garbage into its code

>>55938249
It's a bot spewing spinnable text: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Article_spinning
It picks a word on random from the curly braces. Pasting that line of code (probably the quotes) broke it.

>>55937465
>mandy boy

>>55931573
And it's stolen from /fit/

>>55945634
Nooo way

>>55928978
>The hacking of TalkTalk
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-34643783

>>55941593
look
find
gawk
talk
touch
grep
unzip
finger
fsck
gasp
more
yes
eject
umount
makeclean
zip
zip
done
exit

>>55938249
>explain to redditor
kill yourself jesus why are people spoonfeeding

>>55948181
>umount
>no mount

>>55926801
>{..|...| ;)| :)| ^.^| =)| :]| ;]}

>smiley forkbomb

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>>55928054
>That error message

>>55928044
i laughed

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>>55928054
>They literally design all the windows UI in powerpoint
Holy shit this explains so much.

>>55925349
There is a third kind of people. You should kill all of them.

void function()
    {
        printf("WTF is this indentation\n");
    }

>>55926260
so my mom isn't the only person retarded enough to mispronounce firefox?

Like seriously, how stupid do you have to be to call it "Motzilla Foxfire"?

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>>55948262
WAAAAAAAAAAAH

>>55933427
He's right you know

>>55934107
Hahaha what the fuck are you even saying

>>55948262
>kill yourself jesus why are people spoonfeeding
This whiny little slut bitchy line of text sums up this shit board pretty succinctly. And why are you still living?

OH MY GOD WHY DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW EVERYTHING??!!

You think I act this way whenever literally every fucking idiot on planet Earth thinks I'm growing pot when I tell them I garden?

>>55950090
What kind of faggot gardens? You know you can get vegetables from the store that were grown by experts for pretty cheap right?

>>55950103
Mostly native plants or plants used in projects actually. Also your comment is stupid as fuck.

>>55925349
get on my level plebs

if (condition){ Statements; }

>>55925349
The second one is more aesthetically pleasing. Fuck you all.

>>55925349
Spaces or tabs?

>>55950150
>>55950150
>>55950150
>>55950150
>The second one is more aesthetically pleasing. Fuck you all.

THIS is what's wrong with developers these days! Fuck performance and compilers, aesthetically pleasing is what counts!

>>55925349
A: C#
B: Java

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>>55928054
no FUCKING way

>>55950172
The second one is faster too though.

>>55937125
This is why you use tabs

>>55928054
I call bullshit.

>>55937270
>that one normal panel in the very bottom right
triggered autism

>>55950250
Or a good text editor that indents the text for you (be it spaces or tabs).

>>55950244
I know, but my point is that they only care about how good the code looks.

>>55929546
Soon as I get home I'm going to try that, I have a catfish bot sitting around on my Skype and I want to go the extra mile for terminator-chan this time

>>55950293
Programming 101: Don’t Help the Compiler
Trying to optimize your code preemptively is the biggest source of bugs. A good compiler will in most cases optimize the code better than you ever will. If you still don't get the performance you want, then you optimize your code.

>>55950431
this is probably where everything went wrong, not optimising your code and just letting the compiler do everything is how you end up with programs taking up 2GiBs of memory that could easily work with under 200MiB

>>55926260
What's the difference between not being computer savvy and being computer illiterate?

>>55938282
i think so, too

>>55950517
Some people people who are not very good with computers actually Google their problems instead of throwing their hands in the air and giving up.

>>55950477
>If you still don't get the performance you want, then you optimize your code.

>>55928054
I can speak to credibility of this, having worked there also. Especially about there being no QA testing, employees being forced to dogfood instead, customers basically being the real testers. They rely on the fact that their fixed release schedule every week will address issues, and expect customers to live with it for that long.

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>>55950517
> not computer savvy
buys a prebuilt
> computer illiterate
buys a mac

>>55950244
Is it? how that, the backspace won't get into the assembler code anyway, right?

>>55926260
>(screaming kid in background)
I'M FUCKING DEAD

>>55950604
Probably that's what most devs don't do, takes too much time, it's easier just to take the users time.

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>>55928054