Stupid tech stories

TFW no love

1 more selfish bump

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Drink Bleach

>>55582673
>I have no stories to tell, I'm just salty so I say what I think is the meanist and funniest

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>>55582419
>>55582519
>>55582638
>>55582757

>be me
>browsing on /g/
>see this thread
>call op a faggot
>moves swiftly along

Fun times

>>55582898
bummer.

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>>55584864
reeee

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When you work in tech support, you tend to purge things from your head as much as possible. At least that's what I do to cope.

But, I'll bite. I've got a few fairly recent stories I'll share.

>Coworker comes up to me
>"Hey, this guy keeps asking me to do a full hardware software diagnostic. I already did it though."
>I go to look at the diagnostics and cases.
>This guy had literally 3 or 4 diagnostics ran on his device almost every day.
>"Alright, introduce him to me."
>Customer sounds like he believes aliens are colonizing his colin.
>He prattles on, "I need you to do a full hardware and software diagnostic."
>"Well, the diagnostics have already been done and they're not going to fix problems. What kind of problems were you having?"
>"My computer is running really slow."
>"There's a lot of things that could be causing it. Diagnostics say your computer is physically fine."
>"So you can't do the diagnostics?"
>"The diagnostics have already been done. There is no further need for them."
>Guy continues to try and rephrase the same question to try and weasle me into saying something contridictory.
>"Look, if you want me to be able to help you or do anything to fix this I actually have to do a simple process of elimination to fix it, but you have to work with me."
>Guy stammers an excuse saying he's too busy.
>Later on coworker tells me that he looks up to me and my professionalism. Made my day.

>>55582419
>my classmate at my university is stupid
>he is studying english
>me and my friend have a discussion on 3d printing
>he joins in, telling us how he is interested in hacking
>i tell him he needs to download the internet via a secret torrent from the "deep web"
>he tells me he knows about it, but wants me to send it to him
what do?

>>55582419
>@/g/
>a dumbshit spongeposter appears
>do a 360, sage and walk away

That was fun.

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>>55585457
I've been told I need to be more patient so that I can get better surveys.

I let customers go on rants and rants not interrupting them. Then later on get told I take too long.

>Old guy comes up and complains that his contacts on his computer, tablet, and phone are all mixed up and missing phone numbers.
>Instead of allowing me to actually focus on the problem he goes on about some PTSD war vet stories.
>Then promptly starts bitching about his computer.
>Then complains that the President of the United State's contact information also went missing.
>We finally get down to trying to figure out the contacts.
>LIterally had 4 email accounts his contacts could've been stored wiht.
>Trying to explain this to an insane old man.
>While trying to help him fix the contacts, I see the email from the white house website as the president's "contact information"
>I'm repeatedly trying to refer this guy to his email service providers to try and revert the contacts.
>Guy instantly forgets what I've told him and continues to bitch.
>At about 3 hours I tell him that we've been at this for too long and there's nothing else I can do.

>Later on I find out a month later he's still harrassing us for help.

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>>55585514
"Cancer" patients are shit. Worst than Canadians.

>First lady problem lady I get as a advanced tech.
>Wants new computer without doing any troubleshooting.
>"I have cancer and I'm having surgery tomorrow. I don't have time for this shit."
>See in her history she's had a replacement already.
>Tell her that we can't provide a replacement until we troubleshoot.
>Manager ends up stepping in to listen.
>Lady starts flipping her shit, screaming and blaming the company that she has cancer.
>Eventually get her to agree to do the troubleshooting.
>Manager tells me she almost kicked the bitch out of the place.
>We can't duplicate the issue. As expected.
>Customer flips her shit more. Talks to our people specialized in "smoothing things over".
>The people tell the lady we'll give her a new computer and try to arrange for it to be shipped to her house because of the limited mobility.
>UPS guy goes to deliver the package.
>One of the "smooth things over" people are on the phone with the cancer lady when this happens.
>Cancer lady literally cries and screams at the UPS guy and threw him out.
>Cancer lady never got a computer because she was too crazy.

>>55585458
Send him the Sad Satan

>>55585558
Wow that was enough cancer for today.

>>55582419
You must be 18+ in order to use this site.

>>55585457
>>55585514
>>55585558
please stop putting dots at the end of greentext lines