You are the Internet's God. What do you do with your powers?

>>55106111
Install gentoo on every computer.

>>55106111
download all porn
delete whole internet

download more ram

>>55106111
delete 4chan

ping localhost

>>55106111
Remove everything about that piece of shit Stallman. World has no place for pretentious feet fungus eating, wannabe doctor asshole like him.

>>55106111
read every corporate email
peek into corporate networks
make money in the wall street, using the information advantage

>>55106111
Nuke india

>>55106111
suck my own dick

>>55106187
the whole world would be raining shit

>>55106111
Sell everybody's data for mad dosh.

Install Nodejs everywhere.
Ban PHP.

>>55106206
kek'd

>>55106111
Block all trafic related to M$ products (updates, telemetry...), web traffic allowed.

>>55106111
Kill everyone I hate by hijacking Amazon's drone delivery system to deliver loaded shotguns, with remote controlled levers to pull the trigger.

After that, sit back and watch everyone's porn.

Ban everyone who annoys me.

>>55106111
I think I'd mostly use them for shitposting tbqh fampai

>>55106111
Make botnet

Remove forced memes and shitposting.
If people spew memes or stupid shitpost (datboi, pepe, meme phases, etc) their internet connection will be cut off for 2 weeks. Troll attempts must be restored to previous methods which required cunning and effort to successfully troll people, indicating that you earned it. People are encouraged to contribute at least one thing of worth every month.

>>55106111
Remove all reddit posters from 4chan

>>55106111
>World Wide Web version 3.1 has been released. The following changes have been made:
>Removed Torfags
>Removed NSAfags
>Removed M$fags
>Removed curryniggers
>Removed Stallman
>Killed SJWs with network controlled flamethrower bots
>Removed Kebab
>Removed Russians
>Removed Polak scum
>Removed cunts from aus
>Removed mudslimes
>Removed reddit and permanently banned all its users
>Warned particular Tumblr users to stop being a bunch of fags
>Removed flagging and reporting functionality from Youtube
>Disabled telemetry for everything
>Readded gopher protocol support
>Removed DRM from html5
>Removed ads and permanently banned adpushers
>Removed all current 4chan moderators (new moderators will be chosen randomly)
>Removed all generals on 4chan
>Restored 4chan to pre-2007 era state
>Granted unlimited bandwidth to the metroid-construction website

>along with these changes, the following users and usergroups have been temporarily suspended or banned:
>Permanently banned Google for privacy infringement
>Permanently banned Apple for using illegal mind control technology, and all Apple users for now constituting a risk to global technological freedom
>Permanently banned Lennart Poettering for trying to ruin Linux based servers with a severely controversial init system
>Temporarily suspended Canonical until Amazon spyware has been removed
>Permanently banned Microsoft and all Windows 8 and up users for being a security hazard
>Permanently banned China for being reds
>Permanently banned North Korea for being autistic and weird as fuck
>Permanently banned hipster webdevs and other developers with poor skill
>Kicked moot
>Kicked moot again

>Other changes:
>Kicked moot a third time because fuck you

>>55106111
purge all the animu shit and some of this >>55106812

>>55106111
Remove Facebook and Google and everything that's affiliated with them. In other words: Set the internet back to 2000.

>>55106812
>Remove Google server from the internet.
So basically remove about everything from the internet.
That isn't Usenet or bbs?

>>55106845
>Posting on an anime imageboard
Kys on that irony.

>>55106911
>implying you have to be a weeb to post on here

>>55106111
delete all social media

File: 1462209985002.jpg (32KB, 600x577px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 600x577px

>>55106639
Why do you even come on chan

>>55106111
Block Russia and Brazil from the internet.

File: sel_lain028.jpg (56KB, 720x480px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 720x480px

>>55106111
>god of the internet
At last my dream is complete! I am finally a little girl!

>>55106943
>Implying your not a closetweeb

Everyone has to pay me 0.10 dollars internet tax to me, so i can have the ultimate NEET life.

>>55108827
>le 4chan is for shitposting and epic maymays maymay
Fuck off Reddit

>>55108865

this guy understands

I'd become a Freakazoid.

>>55108865
You mean Australia and Brazil

File: maxresdefault.jpg (240KB, 1920x1281px) Image search: [Google]

240KB, 1920x1281px

>>55106639
Like this

>>55109187
super teen extraordinaire
freakazoid! freakazoid!
runs around in underwear
freakazoid! freakazoid!

>>55106120
^^^

>>55109156
>only using 4chan

You do know there are a whole lot more better chans? Reddit?

4chan is a meme.

>>55106120
>Windows 10 update replaced with Gentoo update

>>55106153
>be me
>never thought that you could ping local host
>see this post
>get curious
>ping localhost
>literally nothing fucking happens

Thanks

replace all videos in youtube with cheese pizza

File: tmp_19847-9876ff084aa2356abbd4cf17a3d7da42159468967.jpg (82KB, 720x1146px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 720x1146px

cats

just cats

>>55106111
enforce a 'minimum iq level' (or some similar/equivalent test) to allow access to the internet.
this won't stop flame wars, but it will drastically reduce shitposting.
i am ALL IN FAVOR OF valid, intellectual discussion/debate between Product A & Product B, but that doesn't seem to happen very often.
I'd like to see the average commentary be more intelligent overall.

>>55106111
>ddos facebook/twitter and so on
>give everyone 10 gbit/s unlimited download and upload speeds
>create a website with every leechable file there ever was and ever will be
>hack admin rights on 4chan and masquerade as moot all day long
>filter all american IPs off the map

>>55110757
What did you expect?

delete every site using unfree javascript

>>55106111
Make spying and tracking impossible

>>55108865
You have knowledge

two chicks at the same time