whats this stuff on my central processing unit

pls halp

dust hair and old thermal paste

Surplus electrons from the computing process.
You can remove them with deionised water and a stiff wire brush

dust

dried thermal paste
get a can of compressed air, blow off all the dust from everything else with it
then take a q-tip with some low-water content alcohol on it and wipe off the thermal paste, gently
do the same to the dried paste on the heatsink
lightly sand the base of the heatsink, but not the cpu
apply new thermal paste, whatever you feel like throwing on there, doesnt have to be much, people suggest rice grain to pea sized blob, throw the heat sink back on it

bet it will run better

Old semen. You might have to cum on it fresh so you can wipe it off better. Kind of like with markers.