You wake up... You just found out that you are CEO of Facebook.

Make it appeal to /g/.

Terminate it.

>>51587219
Leak everyone's info and messages and pictures and all that shit out, so that the dumb fucks can learn their lesson about building a database on yourself.

Hand control over to someone else
Anonymously cause an "accidental" data leak afterwards

>>51587243
and that would improve Facebook? or stroke your autism?

>Take control of it
>End database on users
>Less advertisement
>Stop draining iPhone/Android batteries
>Make all feedbacks send to /g/

I'd still be rich.

>>51587273
What exactly is there to improve?
It's literally a human data base.
Every time someone speaks about Facebook it's always about dumb fucks posting stupid shit. So if you really want to improve it just ban everyone.

If you're old enough to collect Social Security or too young to rent a car you're no longer allowed to have an account.

Pull the plug

Spend the money on something useful

>>51587219
>Make new pages that distributes top quality porn
>Hire a cracker to make an accidental 'Data Leaking' of top leaders and a few faggots
>Hurr durr privacy,companies are evil
>????
>Remove Facebook company from face of Earth
>Profit

immediately assert dominance with my position of power

then ditch the "social networking" undertone bullshit and blatantly express my company to be the literal jewish command center of the internet

>wake up a multibillionare
>end this cancer on humanity

seriously why do anything else, you're already rich enough that accumulating more money literally doesn't matter at all

>>51587295
>What exactly is there to improve?
the way facebook handles your data? the notion that the data is *your* data and not their data? The user interface? The features that groups and events and messages offer?

Facebook is a social networking site. Much of its value comes from the data, but your experience of it is mediated by Facebook the website (and through the mobile apps, maybe).

>if you really want to improve it just ban everyone
is this like some faggot version of making it a sekret club, or are you trying to say that people can't be allowed to socialize online like some frustrated autistic kid?

In the OP's post you've been dropped into the role of CEO of Facebook and you can "improve Facebook in a year". If the only way you can imagine dealing with that system is by shutting it down, it can only be because you don't actually have any thoughts about what's wrong with Facebook, because if you did you would have clear dimensions to push back on.

>>51587364
your money is in Facebook stock. Shutting it down would make you penniless.

I shouldn't be surprised that people like you - who don't understand this simple relationship - would be the first responders to this stupid thread.

>>51587219
Release proof of all the dodgy shit FB has done and use it to drag Fuckerberg's name through the dirt. Sell Oculus to Valve for $1. Scrap the rest of the company and live comfortably for the rest of my life.

Probably set up a secret taskforce to kill civilians horribly.
"accidentally" leak it, and make it look like a commonplace behaviour amongst US firms.

>>51587389
Do you really think that 100% of Zuckerberg's net worth is in Facebook stock?

Maybe 95% of it is, but then 5% still leaves him with several billion dollars.

>>51587401
In this imagined scenario you figure that zuckerberg would be personally responsible for everything facebook's done, that giving oculus to valve won't cause oculus employees to quit oculus to get away from such a turbulent shitshow, and that you'll have the means to live comfortably after devaluing the company before scrapping it?

Absolutely nothing. I'd be making bank

>>51587430
he and his wife make donations in the form of facebook stock. they almost certainly keep enough liquid to pay bills and shit, but if you have several hundred million dollars in stocks, you try not to expose them to taxes.

His net worth fluctuates between ~35 and 45 billion. It fluctuates so much because Facebook stock is relatively volatile, but if he has any confidence in the company he founded, it would make sense that he would keep his stock in facebook for as long as possible, cashing out only as needed.

to say nothing of the fact that cashing out as much as 5% of his stock would reduce his standing, it would expose more than 2 billion dollars to the IRS. And for what? So he could kick himself a year or two from now as the stock continues to rise and that 5% could have represented 3 billion?

>>51587219
>sell holdings
>step down
>leak all chat/private/group messages

Sup Mark. What brings you to this place?

>>51587219
Shut it down and beg Microsoft to re launch msn msngr.

Sell all my shares.
Go live on a desolated island away from all this bullshit.

I would have facebook buy back all its stock and turn the company into a cooperative, giving all of the users partial ownership stakes. while the ~2B users figure out a new governance structure, the developers at FBHQ would get to work making access to data more open and exportable. making a codebase so you could run your own node with your own data would be the first priority after making data export available.

>>51587219
Stop protecting terrorists and stop censuring nipples on non-erotic pictures.

Have Gentoo installed on every server.

File: 1427035490882.png (99KB, 717x699px) Image search: [Google]

99KB, 717x699px

>>51589834
gentoo captcha for every selfie uploaded
transform facebook into gentoo dating site

>>51587475
Pretty sure I could pull something together. You seem to have this bizarre delusion that the company would become instantly worthless when I became CEO...

Also I don't care if Oculus employees fuck off. All we need is the patents and Carmack, the rest can go get fucked if they want.

Sell people's information to NSA

>>51589895
>You seem to have this bizarre delusion that the company would become instantly worthless when I became CEO
the way you talked about running a multi-billion dollar company, this isn't exactly a delusion. I'm not sure I would trust you to manage a coffee shop for a week, let alone run a corporation for a year.

>>51587219
Rack up some of the pay into my savings account for about a year, then leak everybody's info claiming it was hackers, install a self-destruct script to run after about a month, then sell it.

>>51589895
>I don't care if Oculus employees fuck off. All we need is the patents and Carmack
with that kind of addled thinking going on in the mind of the new CEO, you almost certainly would render Facebook worthless as close to instantly as exchange trading would allow.

I would write code to try to determine any revealing information in private messages and publish it on everyone's wall. Before this maybe install keyloggers etc to get even more embarrassing info and paypal passwords, creditcard details.

Release it all. We need a big brutal privacy nightmare to create a backlash and have people want to protect their data

>>51590019
why do you need to communicate that lesson to everyone in a way that ruins their lives? are you incapable of thinking of a better way of teaching that lesson?

so far it seems like nobody on /g/ is able to think of any way to make Facebook better - they can only think of ways to fuck it up, and they seem to hope that blowing the whole thing up as spectacularly as possible will have a positive effect. This is retarded, and specifically why you're not trusted with anything sensitive - because the only way you can imagine to fix something bad is to blow it up and start over.

buy a burger

>>51587219
let's buy canonical, red hat, sony, nintendo and then sell everything to Microsoft

File for bankrupcy, confess to the murder of peoples privacy, sue every goverment agency, and move to russia

Return it to the glory days of requiring a .edu email address

Push Hack(lang) and HHVM out there hard.
I could finally, finally crush PHP. Okay, Hack inherited many of its huge flaws, but at least it has ways around most of them.

Only memos allowed

>>51590168
what's holding Hack back, anyway? isn't it open now?

>>51590160
Hmm you could split the interenet into 'spazznet' where every asshole could play their candy crush with every other asshole and not bother people with an average and above intelligence.

>>51590194
Yeah.

I have no idea what's holding it back. It's actually doing a better job at backwards compatibility than PHP does, at the moment.

(Not that that's saying much, PHP does a HORRIBLE job).

Change nothing

So sick of big sites constantly changing shit just because they have useless employees

>>51587219

Split the newsfeed so that you have a newsfeed for people and a newsfeed for posts by groups.

Add an anonymous dislike button.
Allow anonymous commenting on group feeds.

Add a roulette style chat button that starts a chat with a random person from your friendslist that's currently online.

Facebooks biggest problem is that the original generations that made it so popular (mine, and the couple after me) are all grown up now and have no time for random stalking what with our jobs, responsibilities and geological displacement.

Facebook almost encourages you to stop talking to people because it only posts updates from recent friends and its all too easy to get into a situation where you're only getting updates from news agencies. It's also very easy to leave a papertrail of any comments you've made over the years that may be embarrassing.

The best way to encourage communication is to allow people to communicate anonymously.

I wouldn't want to, I'd leak everything personal messages and everything so most people will encrypt messages after that, then shut it down and any alternatives that pop up I would buy and shut down. think of how much productivity would increase

Allow annonymous posting and commenting
Facebook is now the biggest imageboard of the world

ADD MEMES
AND A DISLIKE BUTTON
AND MORE MEMES U DIP

Remove real name policy.
Add anonymous posting.
Offer to buy Snapchat again.
Buy Airbnb.

I'd buy Google Deepmind too but I know Goodlewill never sell it.
Increase facebook approved internet access in developing world.

>Ctrl + F
>'gentoo'
>only three entries
Install MORE Gentoo™

>>51587219
sell it and live comfortably, i don't give two shits what happens to facefuck

>>51587219
Burn everything to the ground.

unplug the servers

>>51591267
at least you're trying. i think.

>>51587219
delete data of all deactivated account affected drives with an industrial magnet

File: kbkeyboard.png (283KB, 892x800px) Image search: [Google]

283KB, 892x800px

>>51587219
Take the $$$ and delete the whole fucking thing.

>>51587374
People can't handle social media. Nobody cares about what the fuck you liked, what party you went to, or what's on your mind because you have nothing productive to say or anything meaningful to offer in words.

>>51595914
>People can't handle social media
that's an interesting projection of your own baggage

>>51595914
see, you're speaking for yourself, but you accidentally used pronouns like "people" and "nobody" to make it seem like your experiences are universal. this is a common mistake for people with social issues like aspergers. or maybe it's a language thing. i dunno if these pronouns are easily conflated in indian languages. you tell me.