/Brog/ Broscience general

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Post the absolute worst broscience/momscience you can think of. Let me piss all of you off real quick with a story.
>be middle school
>chubby
>fat skinnyfat
>0 muscle
>0 friends
>dad gives me advice
>he's dadbod mode so why not listen
>"Don't lift weights. The muscle you make with them doesn't last
>"Do push ups instead. The muscle you build with push ups is like cinder blocks, its there to stay"
>listen to this faggot
>3 years later
>slightly skinnier
>still 0 muscle
>the embodiment of skinnyfat
>talk to buff friend about it
>Told him what my dad told me
>"Dude. Don't listen to him. I've seen your dad, and no offense anon, he's fat."
>mfw he's right
>mfw heavily bullied k-8 because family encouraged poor eating habits
>mfw wasted 3 valuable years trying to do inefficient bodyweight to build muscle while losing fat
>mfw parents wouldn't help me afford a gym membership through high school
>mfw parents still try to shit on me with their bullshit advice and science
>dad makes fun of me for "counting food"
>dad makes fun of me for going to the gym "instead of going out to get girls"

My dad can just go fuck himself.