Personality improvement

Get off of 4chan.
>wait, that's impossible
Stop taking 100% of everything said on here seriously. Anyone who lives and breathes this website will almost certainly have an unattractive (at best) personality.

>>42750078
I don't take anything said here seriously. I come here to shitpost when I need to kill time.
I was just curious to see if people had tips.

dont say to a woman she has PMS or call her an attention whore if she's upset. it'll make her hate you. Ive had boyfriends who literally said that shit to me, not joking, and expected me to love them back. I dont mind cooking, cleaning, for my bf but dont invalidate a female emotionally. It brings your chances to 0.

>>42750280
are u a real grill? it would be funny if you posted feet pics lmao. like just as a joke haha, imagine that. but no really that would be funny post them! haha

>>42750280
Can't say I've ever done either of those.
It's not like that it's just I can't generally talk to girls I'm into, drunk or sober, and my personality is kinda boring unless I'm drunk.

>>42750017
Don't be urself

>>42750017
Same. One girl told me she'd be down to hang out sometime. I won an open bar thing, how do I not be autistic and invite her to it?

Like what should my text message be?

>>42750339
This is unironically the answer. It's really ironic but that's the way it is, fur most of us, to get friends or a gf we need to not be ourselves.

>>42750339
>>42750377
Yeah that's like my whole question. Any tips on be better than real me or nah

>>42750297

>>>42750280
>are u a real grill? it would be funny if you posted feet pics lmao. like just as a joke haha, imagine that. but no really that would be funny post them! haha


Lmao fellow foot fag here. Got a real chuckle from this

>>42750297
Okay, I'm actually a trap, but I usually refer to myself as a woman, and my partner does too.
And sorry, I'm shy, I'm not posting my feet.

>>42750496
Yeah nevermind

>>42750459
Pretend

>>42750106
my man

here for the shitposting and /fit/ humor threads, absolutely gloss over all the toxic shit

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>>42750017
Step 1:
Identify your personality types and your character traits. Personally, I like this one -but there are many others- and routinely give myself a check up every couple years or so to see where I am.
http://personality-testing.info/tests/IPIP-BFFM/

Step 2:
Once you know your current personality characteristics, you'll start to understand where you need improvement. There are exceptional channels on youtube that offer are variety of content from breaking bad habits to understand emotional blind spots. I, personally, have trouble sympathizing with others and often make character judgments based on comments made without context. Therefore, I simply google "how do I sympathize better" and over the course of my betterment I learn how to do just that.

Step 3:
Practice, practice, practice. If you're engaging with another human being, be it in person, online, or otherwise, you'll have ample opportunity to practice your particular skill set. Alternatively, I've read multiple studies about how only thinking about a certain subject or activity can improve performance. But "hands on" practice is tried and true and must not be neglected.

Step 4:
Be consistent. Self-improvement is a lifelong endeavor. You need to practice often and seek out new ways to improve yourself, otherwise just like muscles, your hard work will atrophy.

Good luck.

oh look. another humblebrag post on fit

hey 6 foot tall social stud fit poster, maybe you doing things like insulting your friends by calling them fat manlet DYELs is why your personality is shit you autistic permavirgin

Its honestly a numbers game. Just keep plugging away and don't get discouraged.

Also if you're socially retarded just ask about them and keep the conversation about them with occasional input about things you have common ground on.

>>42750280
>invalidate a female emotionally
what the fuck does this even mean?

>>42750496
you're not a fucking female then

>>42750640
It means treat her like a human bean and not just a meat sock.

>>42750347
Ayy girl you want some free drinks and your ass eaten?

>>42750496
so it offends you when your bf says you have PMS even though youre a male

>>42750562
Thank you for an actual response
>>42750563
>humble brag from social stud
I'm literally saying that I'm the opposite of a social stud. Also not a virgin.
Jeez why are manlets always so angry.

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>>42750562
Literally an unlikable piece of shit. I'm only not a virgin because women have approached me first, I'm 6' and have 3 friends and those are the only people I talk to

life is fucking pain

>>42750719
trap faggot replied pretending to be me, anyways yeah I did get offended bc my period was a few weeks away at the time and it wasn't PMS. Idk it just seemed very rude. The attention whore part as well, because I open up my feels to a guy I trust, which I rarely do, and then he just flat out says I'm doing it for attention. I'm better now, but back then I was going through some serious shit that I hadn't told anyone about. just very insensitive person

>>42750017
How do I get friends at 30 years old and very successful in my field?

I have nobody anymore

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>>42750762
If you could be another person, who would you be?

>>42750684
What does it have to do with calling her attention whore or drawing her attention to illogical behavior? Is that what you mean by a meat sock? I still dont understand the meaning of "emotional invalidation," sounds like a pile of dog shit

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>>42750280
You've obviously never been Empathy'd:

>Hey, I can see that you're you're upset. Want to talk about it?
>That sounds tough. This clearly a frustrating situation.
>Sounds like it's hard now but I bet you can handle it. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
>Yes you can suck my cock, thanks for asking.

Get's 'em every time.

>>42750496
Then you're not a woman. Don't answer as one because you don't think as one

>>42750563
haha truth

>>42750808
That image is retarded.

>>42750496
Don't let the bastards here get you down. Live your best life.

But take the best lessons of /fit/ and push yourself and don't be a whiny little bitch about life situations, take control and change things through your sweat or blood or pain.

That is all.

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>>42750762
You are more likable than me. I'm that genius that will never achieve anything because social retardation

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>>42750821
Okay, how about this? Pretend you came home from a long and difficult day at work. Your boss or colleague has been slacking off or making professional life a challenge. You seek emotional support from your significant other -someone who's suppose to support you in a relationship- by venting your frustration but your significant other either ignores you or doesn't try to reciprocate understanding. How do you think that would make you feel? Probably not too good. That is emotional invalidation.

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>>42750845

You just changed my life sir

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>>42750339
Works the opposite for me. When I'm trying, people dislike me. When I stop giving a shit, people love me.

>>42750562
>Lazy open-minded decently sociable decently friendly emotionally unstable wreck
It's just telling me things I already knew.

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>>42751023
What's your next step? Are you just gonna feel sorry for yourself until your dead or are you going to take initiative and do something about it? You're the only person who can make you change. It's not going to happen on its own. Every little step will bring you closer to your goal.

>>42751059
Change what? My personality? Nah, I'm good bro.

Just play to your strengths and make sure your weaknesses don't get pronounced.

>>42750640
Nope. Actual females need to be invalidated. Tell her you're not interested until she really works for it. Trust me. I'm a lesbian and it's literally given me the best amount of success by fanning disinterest. Also it's a numbers game.

>>42751084
If you're happy with yourself then good on you. But is that really what you want? It seems to me you've high-lighted your personality traits in a negative manner. You can't train the anterior chain and neglect the posterior; you will end up unbalanced and hurt yourself physically. Just the same, you shouldn't be content with only the positive aspects of your personality and neglect the complimentary parts of your emotional well-being. You will become unbalanced and hurt yourself psychologically.
It isn't easy to train the body and also discipline the mind. But you need to do both if you want to be truly healthy.

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>>42750562
>>42750762
>>42750893

Bloody hell I should be swimming in friends and women, what is going on?

>>42750942
that's not how men feel though, you are invalidating their need of solutions to the exclusion of empathy, try to be more open minded

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

>>42751248
>>42750942


Guys maybe it depends on the situation.

>>42751207
Can't say, mate. This is just a stepping stone to better understand yourself.
Try making a list of things you do that you consider helpful to meeting your goals of "swimming in friends and women" and a complementary list of things you consider unhelpful. Spend a couple days to a week fleshing this list out as different parts come to light. I think the results may surprise you.

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>>42751207
imo that means either:
1. you deluded yourself while taking the test
2. you accurately assessed yourself but just need to tweak how you present yourself

if you're 2 then that wont be too hard, as you are like 99th percentile conscientiousness; just recall times you've successfully socialized and make a habit of repeating what you did right

if you're 1 then you've got a lot of work ahead of you and it probably won't start here with any advice i could offer

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>>42751248
I understand what you're saying but perhaps that's just how you feel. Most people are quite capable of finding a solution to a problem on their own. Have you ever had someone listen to you -I mean really listen to your problems- without interjecting their opinion about how you're wrong and they're right? How you can't see the solution but it's so simple for them? Most often when people feel the need to air grievances, that's the only reason they're doing it: to air the grievance. Unless they explicitly ask for an opinion they just want to feel like someone cares about their situation and how they feel. The classic depiction of a shrink is him/her listening to a patient complain. There's a reason for that. Given, that's a little bit different from emotional support but I hope the comparison gets my point across.

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>>42750562
>>42750762
>>42750893
>tfw impulsive
>tfw disorganized
>tfw too critical because of 4chan and lookism

i just want a fucking girlfriend.

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>>42751376
I care about your situation and how you feel, that's why I want to fix it

>>42751434
This was my test. I am impulsive AF. I'm literally doing an amateur MMA fight and inviting my oneitis is that a good idea

>>42751435
Not that anon, but was in 4 year relationship that partially dissolved due my thinking like that.

When people, in my case my gf, come to you to air a grievance, are doing so out of an emotional need to vent, not to actually find some hidden idea they maybe didn't think of. They want to feel like someone is on their side in a time where they feel they need it emotionally.

>>42751434
>impulsive
>disorganized
>lazy

it's the neet triad

>>42751470
i'm not a NEET tho

>>42751435
Haha. Yep, I completely agree with your conclusion. Fortunately most problems that require emotional support either resolve themselves with time or can be solved only by the person with said problem. It's a stroke of good luck on your part to be the one to have to listen and not have the problem. All you have to do is sit there and nod your head and validate their concerns. The challenge is not to stick your calm cool head into their chaotic mindset.

>>42751292
Alright I'll give this a go, thanks.
>>42751326
Na definitely 2., I know it's because of things like presenting myself and that but it is also because the type of people I want to hang round with (other gamers) tend to be social outcasts or whatever while I'm the exact opposite now so they see me differently compared to the rest of them.

It's kinda hard to explain but hopefully you understand.