mirin stories

>get to gym, deadlift day
>black guy with some old black lady on the olympic platforms
>black guy deadlifting 1pl8 and old lady doing dumbbell deadlift with like 15lb each hand
>get behind them and knock out 10 reps of 1pl8
>add a plate to each side and do 2 more sets of 10
>add another plate to each side and death rattle while slowly pulling it up, lock out, and drop 2 floor
>old lady starts suckin my junk right infront of black dude and i bert stare him with my arms crossed

>>42564346

>be at music festival
>girl asks me for light for her cigarette
>oblige
>she grabs my chin and kisses me
>never see her again :(

>>42564388
Fuck....

>be going to gym
>suddenly perfect 10/10 qt appears with her twink boyfriend
>"wow, you look big"
>"I AM wow"
>she instantly drops everything and starts slurping on my functionally-sized 5 incher
>her boyfriend recognises me as the superior specimen and starts rimming my asshole, scooping up all the shit and protein
>girls left and right start ovulating and guys commit mass sepuku
>president turns gay and names a national holiday after my obliques
>dad recognises me as his son again

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>tfw will never be mired because not a chad

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>>42564490
It's all about GENETICS

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an autistic girl sexually harassed me because she said I was ripped

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Neat I actually got mired just in time for this thread.

>be picking up sister's check from her work while she's on holiday
>walk in and see receptionist
>7/10 qt with huge tits and ass
>we make eye contact and let her know I'm there to get check
>she nods and smiles and turns to get manager
>manager comes out and the receptionist is still staring
>manager comes out and looks pissed at everyone
>I introduce myself to manager and all of a sudden she starts staring me up and down smiling as she hands me the check
>go back to car and get a call from my sister
>"hey anon both my co workers think you're tall and cute"
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>laugh and tell her I think her manager is a cunt

Was a good day.
Ain't even that tall by /fit/ standards

>>42564346
>and then i woke up

>>42564603
>>>42564346 (OP)
>>and then i woke up
Basically this whole thread.

>>42564513
Story?

>>42564572
how tall?

>>42564729
5'8

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>>42564750

>>42564729
I'm 5'10"
>>42564750
Not this faggot

>>42564783

Is that the Google Manifesto Bro?

>>42564750
Heh, it's a good thing most women are turbomanlets in disguise.

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>>42564346
>Work with old people
>Showering one resident and he tells me i look big and strong
>Coworker with me talking about school
>Mention im mid 20s
>Resident says 20s? I didnt think youd be under 50
>Absolute shit tier face and hair line genetics
A-at least my biceps are kinda big...

>>42564863
No, it's Jack Kregness, an infamous child prodigy from Pittsburgh

>>42564830
Dude I'm only 5'10" and people tell me I'm tall now, too. I think it has to do with seeming bigger in general thanks to lifting. There's this dude at my gym who is absolutely enormous. I saw him squat 4.5 pl8 for 10+ reps once. Anyway, I had him sized up as 6'+, but I stood next to him near a mirror once and noticed he was a hair shorter than me.

>>42564388
Reminds me
>took Qt azn date to music festival
>walking through crowd
>smoking hot girl wearing tied up flanny and short-shorts steps in front of me
>puts hand on my chest and says hi
>"umm sorry I gotta go" walk around her back to azn

God I wish I'd just ditched the azn there

>>42564973
Gf>random hoe

>>42564513
Provide background

Reminds me of how I got a girlfriend when I was 18 about 6 months into lifting and breaking up with my ex
>Walking around with 3 friends (all guys) at a outdoors night market
>Packed as fuck with college students and jailbait
>We smoke a J in the corner after walking around and getting food
>A group of 3 girls walk by start giggling and looking over at us
>My friend who doesn't give a fuck about anything yells at them to come join us
>They giggle more then come over to us
>All 3 are pretty cute but one is my type (pretty short, white, blonde hair, cute face)
>Notice how she always look away from me quickly when I turn in her direction

Cont?

>>42565645
not posting full story = meme ending

>>42565645
you had sex with all 3 in your lambo

nice larp

>>42565645
cont u nigger

>>42564388
>girl I've crushed on since 8th grade asks me for a light
>hand her lighter, she lights her cigarette
>she slips it back into my pocket while making eye contact
>to retarded to know what to stay so I just stare at her without acknowledging

>>42565710
Well what DO you say in that situation?

>>42564388
i'd get an aids test

>>42565725
give me back my lighter

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>>42565725
you grab her arm as she's in your pocket and say, "i can't tell if i just suffered third degree burns from the recently lit lighter or from your fingers, hottie"

>step out of a store
>girl says "hi" to me and smiles

Proactiv has been amazing for me.

>>42565725
i don't know. i just wish i had been quick thinking enough to make a move on her. i have no idea what i would even say

>>42565725
Literally anything that is flirty and not autistic.

>>42565784
>Literally anything that is flirty
For example?

t. autist

>>42565786
it literaly doesn't matter what you say, it's how you say it. women are emotional and intuitive. the tone is what matters you didiot

>>42565710
>she slips it back into my pocket while making eye contact

Damn, that's smooth. I have no idea what I would say, either.

>>42565786
>you just wanted an excuse to put your hand in my pants

It's not that fucking hard

>>42565786
Anything that confirms to her that you are interested in fucking her without actually saying it. Just playfully tease her about it. If youre alone/ in a place where its acceptable you could probably just start making out with her without saying anything. Thats about as strong as a woman will come onto a man unless shes batshit

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>>42565645

>>42564346

you didn't even take your headphones off, made eye contact and said hi to them. you'll never make it autistic fag. you're creepy.

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>>42565645
cont pls

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>receptionist works irregular days at desk in atrium of building where gym is
>acts noticeably strangely when I am around
>omw to the gym one day as her shift ends and she begins to leave
>unsolicited, as we meet at the entrance door, she asks if I need help with something
>I'm slightly annoyed and bewildered at that moment, just want to get to the gym, say "no"
>"oh...okay"
>I continue to the gym and she lingers around the exit door for like 10 secs looking up and around
>it wasn't until later I realized she was trying to initiate conversation
>that was the only time we had ever actually spoken
>I continue to catch her sneaking glances whenever I walk in and she's working

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>>42565752

>>42565902

just say hi the next time, ask her name, introduce yourself. If she's smiling and talkative, ask for her number. If not, say hi the next days, small chit-chat, get her number etc... just don't be too autistic.

>girl I've only know for a week
>Always wants to hug when we greet and does it tightly

Why do I fall for girls so quickly? My heart hurts.

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>milf at my gym always smiles when i look at her
>today while i was doing neck curls she was doing decline dumbbell press
>we make eye contact in the middle of our sets
>SPAGHETT

Jesus fuck guys, i feel so embarrassed, seriously contemplating finding another gym and never coming back.

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Got three stories that maybe count. Keep in mind that im an overweight fucko who doesnt actively lift.

>Im on the graduation party of my friends
>be there with the family of best friend
>cant remember the exact context and wording but mother of best friend tells me that she and his sister think that Im handsome while we are alone

>same night
>wearing suit because dresscode
>drinking with former female teacher
>looks me straight into the eyes, smiles and says that I look really good dressed like that

>yesterday
>me and friends are on a party
>drunken dude hits on girl we are making conversation with
>she tries to tell him off
>he wants to convince her to come with him and results my borderline anorexic friend as ugly(truthfully so) while doing so
>I wont let that slide, look at him and ask him what his problem his
>his focus shifts to me
>he drunkenly mutters some unintelligible things, however repeatedly says that I have a big biceps and therefore should be brawling with him
>I dont do it because Im beta
>he eventually shambles off

Some guy also wanted my phone number on that evening

>>42565725
"actually i keep it in my underwear"

if she asks why say "that's where i keep all my hot stuff"

yes im on the spectrum

>>42565725
You literally just have to smile, make eye contact, and laugh. She proceeds to say "whhhhaaaat?" And you say you thought that was really cute or something like that, touch her waist in a sexual but not aggressive manner and then take it from there. If you've known her since 8th grade you probably know enough about her to tease her a ton.

>>42566176
get in boi

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>>42564485

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I wish I was still in school

>>42564874
kek

>>42565725

Stutter and walk away.

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>>42567397
>L-LUH-L-LIGHTER IN MY POCKET

>>42564388
>smokers
absolutely disgusting

>>42564485
>the chad quick gym session

>>42564377
now THIS is a story I can get behind

>>42567744

This. Hate seeing qts who smoke.

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Sure, just got a fresh batch.

Went to an out of town half marathon just last night.

Beat my personal record by just over 5 min.
Took my shirt off during the run like the douche bag I aspire to be. A girl from the crowd called me a viking.
Made the announcer loose her spaghetti on live TV during an interview.
Excellently cucked some poor dude after his girl came to congratulate me on my run.
Looking over the pictures in retrospect I see a few girls eye raping me.
And my absolute favorite
A little girl ran up to me brought me a flower and told me I was pretty...

>>42564904
DSP?

>snapchatting some performer singing in the club last night
>ask girl who tf is that
>girl says i dont know then forcefully kisses me
>says 'who was that??' and runs off
>another girl comes onto me later end up smashing in her bed and shower
>cant finish cuz of whiskey dick
uncountable 'youre so tall!'s in the club

>>42564572
Does your sister have some kind of psychic connection with the people she works with? How does she know what they think when she's on holiday?

>>42564388
Enjoy your cold sores

>>42564904
Are you me?

>>42565440
"date" does not equal "gf"

>>42565725
"thanks"

>>42568321
How tall are you.
6'6" reporting, it's practically all I hear.

>>42568528
Not him but 6'7 and on holiday in thailand now.
>people asking me for pictures

>>42568537
I actually know a few people from thailand and none of them have ever commented on my height, good people really.

>>42565645
Cont.

>We all pass the J around
>Eventually my friend takes out a second one so we have 2 in rotation
>Weed makes everyone more chill and less uptight
>We find out that 2 of them go to the local CC and the blonde girl goes to a private university (this was summer break)
>Walk around the market more together as a group
>Of course I try to isolate the blonde girl so I could talk to her more
>Walking behind the group and just talking about random stuff
>Getting really late and we all came in one car so I couldn't really make a move that night
>Super obvious me and blonde are into each other
>Friends and her friends giving us that look
>Towards the end of the night we have to split so I ask her to come with me to a drink stand real quick
>She asks why but comes with me anyways
>I ask if I can have her number and she says yes
>After getting her number I bend down and kiss her really fast on her lips (I'm 6 ft and she's like 5'3)
>Her face gets super red then she kinda runs over to her group and we leave
>Funny thing is one of my friends from that group that night ended up dating one of her friends but they broke up in a month and a half lol
>That summer we literally hang out almost every single day
>Try long distance for a couple months when we go off to separate unis but you know that never works
>Still end up hooking up with each other whenever we're home for break at the same time
>Probably the first girl I really loved
>Now I'm going into my junior year in college and her school starts a month earlier than me so she already left to the East coast
>Still hung out a lot with her while we were both home for break
>While we're both busy at school we rarely talk but every now and then one of us will have a problem (school, relationship, etc) and ask each other about it
>Will always turn into a long conversation which eventually dies off
>Cycle continues

Cont?

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>>42564625
you think people would do that?
just go on the internet and lie like that?

>>42568549
walk the dinosaur incoming? cont plz

>in supermarket bagging my groceries
>hands full of cat scratches from playng with my wild animal of a cat
>cute grill cashier says "So who won, the you or the tiger?"
>reply "He had no chance" and smile
>she says "Well you look really strong he should have known better" and gives me a qt smile

th-th..

>>42568333
No she has a cell phone you absolute fucking retard

>>42566367
i could play this smoothly while drunk

otherwise no

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>granddad told me I've gained muscles and it shows

>>42564346
>be in hippy bio store to get natty peanut butter
>have long hair that my mom put in a braid the night before
>qt cashier girl is vocally mirin my braid
>tells me she would love to braid her hair but can't manage
>asks me if I can show her some time
> tell her that I don't know how to makw braids either and that my mom made mine
>she gives me an awakward smile
>I pay and walk away

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>be me, 6'1 175 lbs lean but autistic asian brah
>go to festival with friends
>for the first hour it's boring, just dancing next to my friends and watching hot chicks shuffle
>start trying to make small talk with asian chicks but they walk away
>friend says "take this and it'll be more fun" and slides me a heart shaped pill
>takes an hour to kick in
>holy. shit.
>take my shirt off and start dancing
>group of cute mexican girls ask me how to use their camelbacks
>they start dancing with me
>suddenly I make eye contact with this blonde chick with wide, blue dilated eyes and she doesn't look away at all, she's clearly rolling
>she and her friend make their way over to start dancing with me
>she starts dancing close in front of me and twerking so I let her grind on me
>her chubbier friend also starts grinding on me and licking me(I swear this happened)
>get their snapchats, pretty one says they're from germany and were just here for the festival
>suddenly a huge fucking moshpit starts and I get pushed in
>play some king of the moshpit because functional strength
>when I get out, the girls are gone and my phone is dead so I can't contact them
>start dancing with some cute persian looking chicks who were wearing leotards but then my group starts leaving because one of my faggot friends(short, ugly, glasses, annoying voice) says "there's no girls here lets go" because no one will dance with him
>go to different stage with rae srummond performing
>start dancing with chicks who were literally in what looked like bikinis(I had some kind of rash on my leg for the following week from dancing with them)
>lose phone(but get it back the next day)
>ecstasy wears off, pass out in car ride home

jesus fucking christ, I wish someone told me about festivals sooner.

>>42568738
nice

>>42565741
>reading comprehension

>>42568668
>he
Should've said 'she' or 'it' you homo

>>42566274
so did he call you?

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Reminder that ugly men are more likely to overestimate their attractiveness to females than attractive men.

>>42568545
I love thai people. Very friendly to my little brother. Also my tinder is lit here but wont do anything because ladyboys

>>42569053
same goes for intelligence

>>42568738
Show us ur braid brah

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think i got mired for the first time today, but prob not because i'm a flabby 16% fatty, but almost big+6' tall

>go to gym late (11ish)
>girl comes at the same time with a guy, 90% sure it's her brother
>does leg press and shit
>look over at her sometimes while doing pullups, made eye contact a couple times

>our gym has a little wood floored room where they do circlejerk cardio classes
>go into this room to stretch/foam roll after i train
>she follows me inside, never seen her use the room before
>have headphones on, look over at her and make eye contact
>nope tf out of there because autism

t-thanks /fit

>>42568560
literally why

Litteraly now
>walk onto balcony of my hotel
>2qt3.14 in the pool
> one taps the other ans nods in my direction
>she keeps on looking and smiling

What do?

>>42569490
Go to them, hide autism level, then smash.

>>42569490
>What do?
if you actually have to ask, dont do anything, you're retarded

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>>42569490
>What do?
Squats.

>>42569529
>hide 'tism

Wish it was that easy

>>42569848
nsthpbp

>>42564346

noticing when you're being mirred is an unhealthy mindset to fall into

now you're gonna go home and jack off to this experience for the next 10 years instead of taking the action needed to score just for the sake of your own ego

>>42564904

shave, drink water, lift and stop going to burger king after every shift

>>42566127
>don't be too autistic.
>Be yourself
This board's two most common pieces of advice are polar opposites and mutually exclusive and thus make no sense.
Going to reshare my one shitty mire

>Out with some people, grills all want to hit some full place and dance
>In line to get in, redguard bouncer checks my ID.
>Looks up at me... Back at ID...
>Repeat several times like he thinks it's a fake maybe
>"Ayy dawg u lost sum weight"
>No idea how to respond, panic and go with, "Do you get to the Cloud District very often?"
WTF why did I say that? Save this you idiot, "Oh, what am I saying, of course you don't."
>Proceed to not dance and just drink in the bar section till it's time to go

>>42568016
If this is real it means that we can make it

are you the same people who "dont lift for girls"?
these threads are the 2nd most pathetic thing on 4chan next to the "is this effay?" on /fa/

>>42568016

10/10 lost my feels sides at the little girl. Best post I read today

>>42568668

Making it: The Post

>>42569848
th-thanks mark

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>Just came back from the beach
>all women ranged from age 15 to 55 were mirin
>actually a 50 yo chubby woman was looking at me and licking her lips
>tfw no idea how to approach a woman on the beach

wat do brahs?

>>42571055
there's no recipe you dunce

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>>42568923
>one of my faggot friends(short, ugly, glasses, annoying voice)

Tfw you are that kind of a person. Someone kill me, muscles won't change my face, height or personality. There is no hope for me.

>>42569053
>>42569109
Dunning Krugger effect.
Less competent people are, surprise! less competent and judging things.

>>42569994
>Insightful post

>>42571055
>tfw no idea how to approach a woman on the beach
I've done this. Like literally walked up to a 4-5 group of easy 7's & 8's and asked them to shoot a film with me and some friends. The reason to talk is the only way to get an in. However, that reason can be literally anything. For instance I had a beach ball with me, I could have asked if they wanted to go to the water and play with the ball or some shit. It doesn't matter really.
Obviously my attempts didn't work out, but it went a LOT better than I pictured it going in my mind. You should try it out, it's a great way to gain perspective on social interaction. I very nearly convinced the first group to join us, but I said something stupid and messed it up. Either way, the important thing to keep in mind is that you will NEVER see these girls again if it goes poorly. You have nothing to fear, except for your fragile ego taking a hit. I recommend figuring out how to let go of that and start putting yourself in interesting situations just to see how it goes. You'll be pleasantly surprised.

>>42565752
>please be patient I have autism
What did he mean by this?

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>>42564346
>Girl who I had a crush on when I was in middle school told me I look really fit

>>42564572
Solid anon.

>>42564572
How tall are you?

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>>42568016
We're all gonna make it

>>42567397
I did this today. Just end it already.

>>42564377
Only 3pl8 lmao, you were taking that black ladys clit in your ass if anything.

>>42566176
You have to go for that MILF Anon. I believe in you brah. Don't run from the booty run towards it.

>>42568016
Helsinki?

>>42565741
>Give girl lighter
>She seductively tucks it back into your pocket and stares longingly into your eyes, expectant and anxious
>Thinking quick of how to escalate the situation you widen your eyes and firmly say "Give me back my lighter."

We got a Chad in the making here

>visit a buddy of mine, we studied together and haven't seen eachother for years
>he picks me at the airport and tells me we are going to have a party at the beach with all his friends
>asks me if I also want to go snorkeling/harpooning to catch some fish for the barbecue
>"hell yeah"
>he calls his girlfriend and asks her to bring another wetsuit with her (his old one)
>we arrive at the beach, around 20 people already there
>I introduce myself, have a beer until his girlfriend arrives
>so we change into the wetsuit and I really have a hard time to get into it
>"god damn it anon, getting those legs in it was hard but I have no clue how we are going to squeeze the rest of you in"
>two girls tried their best, giggling the whole time, but at the end two other guys managed to get me in
>"there you go big man"

>>42574719
Gay?

>>42574770
Only if I rate in CBTs.

>>42564572
>pick up her cheque
what kind of backwards place do you fucking live in? this sounds like it's straight out da 80s

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>>42574577

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It really is crazy how far a few months of heavy lifting can get you.

>Be me, 19
>Started lifting halfway through freshman year in uni
>Used to be an awkward skinny half asian kid in high school that only kissed one girl, never had sex
>Had acne too, but a cycle of accutane cleared it up really well; have clear af skin now
>Been lifting about 8 months now
>Up 20 pounds and still lean
>Lifts have gone up like crazy due to noob gains
>Lost my virginity to a girl who lived on my dorm floor, dated her for a quarter; she didn't know I was a virgin (don't ever tell girls you're a virgin)
>Back home for summer
>Going grocery shopping to pick up a few things for my mom right after lifting
>Run into a girl I had a crush on for the first half of high school
>She physically does a double take and looks at me up and down
>Tells me I got taller and "bigger" emphasizing the second part
>I jokingly reply "bigger as in fatter?"
>We talk for a bit then part ways
>I message her on facebook that night and ask if she wants to hang out
>Says yes, I see her that same night
>We see a movie and we make out before dropping her off
>Fun summer fling but we went to different unis across the country so nothing serious

This board got me lifting and it's probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. The funniest is seeing family members' reactions that you haven't seen in a while

>Visited Korea this summer for a week to see my dad's side of family
>They all gasp and ask what happened to me
>Ask if I do "sports"
>All my little cousins feel my arms and legs

>>42564729
5'6

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>>42565752

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>>42575026

>tfw my social skills improved a ton since high school but I'm in a situation where I can hardly use them
>can't even go back to school for another 6 months and already 25

I can't help feeling like I got the shit end of the stick in life sometimes but maybe it'll all work out anyway. thankfully I still look young and my gym is bretty good.

>>42572274
5' 10"

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>>42566367
Should you tell her that youre on the spectrum?

>>42569490
cannonball

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Not sure if it's a mire, but since I'm ugly it's about as close as I'll get.

>At work on a 12 hr shift
>Woman co worker is telling the story about how her uncle was beaten into a coma and died in a random fight behind a McDonald's
>Starts describing his attacker
>"He was a guy who was almost as big as anon!"

Tfw

>>42576156
This

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>>42575026
yeah there you go anon, you're close to making it

Is failing to grab a girls number a -1 mire or does it not count?

>be with a dyel friend and his gf
>I'm in a singlet and my biceps and shoulders are pumped and vascular
>dyel friends gf could not take her eyes off my arms

I wouldn't even touch the roastie with a 10 foot pole but still feelsgoodman.jpg

>>42568731

Feels good man

>>42576909
Describe the gf's body and personality

>>42577068
LEL insecure faggot detected

>>42575026
Happy for you anon

>>42575195
I graduated high school in 2014 and didn't start going to college until fall 2016. I was a neet for 2 years due to family problems. I felt like how you were feeling. But I eventually got my shit together and started working hard at everything. Good luck to you anon

>>42565786
how YOU doin'?

>>42571141
yeah but you can change your personality

most of my best friends who are super fun and outgoing are short and average looking

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>never been mired

>>42575895
>not actively telling every single girl that you see that you have autism to increase your chances of a sympathy fuck

>>42564485
>dad recognizes me as his son again
fucking killed me lol

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>>42577375
Ah it's not that great

>It's pretty great

>>42577375
If you are at least average looking you probably have been mired a few times, you just don't notice it because you have low self-esteem.

At this wedding I was just at this fat chick went around the place telling everyone she was gonna suck my dick. Half the bridal party said I should have just gone for it, free bus etc.
>not the mires I want
>bulking is worth it right guys?

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>wearing a muscle shirt today
>go hangout with a friend
>he's training his dog while talking with me
>I'm just chilling on the bench
>this black guy looks at my arms
>looks at his
>back at mine
>I see the envy in his eyes

>>42568333
you idiot they have fucking phones

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>>42577375
>tfw never been mired in my life

Anyone have any advice on fucking a coworker? I have no problem with girls outside the workplace but i see it as difficult becuase 1. I'm 18 and she's in her 30s. 2. if i pursue it to hard i might catch a sexual harassment charge. And if I don't vocalize myself enough she will never get the hints.
> she comments about how I'm strong
>was grabbing my arm as I flex
> tell her to feel my abs, she does
>wow anon that was really hard i wasn't expecting that
>other coworker comes over and cockblocks
Any idea what to do?

>Be me
>Used to weigh 350, fat, 42 body fat percentage
>Started lifting last year in November
>Today
>Weigh 298, Still fat but reduced it to 32 body fat percentage
>Instead of having a blob physique, muscles are popping out and look better overall
>Workout at a commercial gym
>everyday a bro just comes up to be and start talking.
>Some days women come up to me and admire my height and physique

Feels good man. Never knew weight-lifting could change a lot.

Idk where to post this so here goes
>on vacation with family
>at the boardwalk on beach at night
>see 5'6" manlet attempting to chad stride shirtless down the middle of board walk with manlet friends virgin walking on either side shortly behind him
>looks to be about 17/18 with babby gains but only in biceps
>sigh and shake my head as I turn away and go back to whatever I was doing
>later, standing at vending machine with brother
>feel a tap on left shoulder
>look left, nobody is there
>look right, manlet and his two friends are sprinting away from me
>do nothing, just watch them run away and out of sight around the corner
What would /fit/ have done in this situation?

>>42577636
try to hangout with her alone. maybe have lunch with her? say some shit like "i know of this place, you want to check it out?"

good luck

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what's it like to be mired?
What's it like to be desired?
is it the looks or the attire?

>>42575895
i don't have to she'd know on first contact

>>42577648
If you're at 32%, that wouldn't be noticeably muscular. Odds are you just feel much more confident in how you look so people like you more. Keep it up mang, you're doing great.

>>42577702
Ignore them. They're manlets, God has already punished them for their insolence.

>>42564346
>be on a canoe trip for class with mostly beta engineering students and a few hot girls who cheat their way through
>take off my lifejacket and go for a swim with everyone
>skinny manlet canoe partner complains to two girls standing nearby that I'm weighing down the canoe (I'm 6'5" and about 240 lbs)
>girl looks at me, bites her lip, smiles and says "yeah, but he's like rock hard and all muscle, even *you* probably have more fat"
>I stare off into the distance autistically and pretend I didn't hear because I don't know what to say
>beta laughs nervously and tries to change subject

goddamn I wish I had social skills

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>>42576271
Should've said, "Yeah I put on some weight since then"

>>42577702
Sounds like something me and the boys would do desu

>>42567773
kek

>>42577778
You couldn't even get quints you pathetic fucking loser

>>42577778
>>42578220
Fucking LOL.

>>42575026
that's fucking awesome dude keep it up only gonna get better

>>42575026
I was smiling while reading this, good for you, anon.

You know, you could have been the next Elliot Rodgers but you really turned your life around and became a Chad.

>>42565902
Just say something cute when you tip her next time, like "How about I actually buy you a coffee instead", playing on how the money would be spent on something like a coffee

>>42577487
Use commas

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>>42577648

>>42578564
I was coming down from a jack3d workout, my mind didn't understand the concept of commas.

>>42564346
>Doing squats today
>Drop the bar and weights from the starting position
>Makes loud bang
>Everyone looks over to mire

>>42574946
my workplace still does this, pretty fucking shitty

>>42565786
Just smile. Not every flirting interaction needs to end with you having the final word. You take it as a sign that she likes you going forward.

>>42577702
>see 5'6" manlet attempting to chad stride shirtless down the middle of board walk with manlet friends virgin walking on either side shortly behind him
this makes me feel self conscious

Am I scaring girls or are they just really awkward around me?
>be me
>decently attractive face and "normie strong", so /fit/ dyel
>go on lunch break at work and sit down beside girl who has made prior effort to talk to me
>she says "I feel like I dick"
>I say uhh okay
>she then mutters "fuck" under her breath and gets up and leaves, leaving her food
>I finish and get off my lunch and see that she was talking to Tyrone for the whole time
>she says I can have her food
Apparently staying away from me is more important than eating for her. I can't fathom why she would run away, I'm not ugly at all.

>>42578871
meant to type
>she says "I feel like dick"

so I'm working out at unis gym doing arms brahs, and I have a nice pump going on. this 2 ladies come up to me and ask me if I want to be in a commercial for the school and YouTube. I rejected since I'm autistic and I tell my friend the next day, she told me they were only asking the handsome people to be in it. the lady that asked me also kept looking at my arms

>>42577468
>you just don't notice it because you have low self-esteem

why you do dis?

>>42565725

>remove lighter from your pocket
>pull her to you
>slide lighter into her back pocket
>keep your hand in her back pocket
>"why don't you keep it?"

50 cent lighter is worth a good ass grab and if it failed, fuck it.

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>>42578981

99% of /fit/ could never pull this off. kek

>>42578997
I believe I am the 1%

I have literally left you virgins behind and become Chad, destroyer of vagina

>>42564830
>5'10''
>tall
where the fuck do you live? dwarf fortress? i am 5'10'' and never heard someone referring to me as "tall"

>>42579329
Dwarf fortress made me laugh out loud for some reason

>>42577725
Looks absolutely first. Then attire can complement your looks

>do video production
>outside shooting a video with a big ass camera and a car and a rapper and 2 girls
>girl around 18 walking with her 50's dad on the sidewalk keeps staring at me
>we catch eyes twice and she mumbles to herself

Was she miring me guys? I think she smiled at me

>>42568016
post bod

>>42578871
forget about her

girls who talk to tyrones are lost causes

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>Hanging out with friends everiday in summer
>This girl constantly looking at me
>Shes p ugly, skeletron tier and with obvious self steem issues
>Kind of been there myself
>Our combined autismo could anihilate the earth
>Gradually start talking more
>Fugg I enjoy way too much making her smile

What is this familia
Is this love or what
Am i gay?

The fact that my friends would be taking the piss for ten months straight puts me off a little
But man do i want to be with her and make her happy with the power of my dick

Im confused

>>42579726
I think you know the answer to this one. DO IT

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>>42577702

>>42577798
yeah cuz pretending to be the guy that killedher uncle would totally score him pussy

>>42565902
If I was reasonably sure she was into me based on what you said. I'd just say hi and hand her my phone with the new contact pulled up so it's obvious what she has to do. Easier than asking for number verbally. If I'm feeling playful I'll ask them if they know how to work a smartphone. Feels autistic writing it but someone says it's not what you say, it's how you say it. That anon couldn't be more right.

I'm no Chad but I am 6'5" so that doesn't hurt.

>go out every weekend with my group of friends
>I'm good a dancing, get lots of mires. Catch girls staring at me.
>sometimes I'm just surrounded by groups of other girls
>shyness/insecurity prevents me from ever trying to make a move
It's an endless cycle. I could be a chad slayer if only I knew how to do it.

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>>42580942
Same only I don´t care enough to approach, then again I come to dance and socialize not pick up girls. Don´t have low test but no high sexdrive, never have.

Anyone know how to increase it besides getting higher testosterone?

>>42579726
If you really like her why the f do you care what your friends think. Finding someone you really like and can talk to is rare, don't miss out because of your ' friends'

>>42580964
Being lonely really makes me crave contact with other people, especially women.

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>go to anime con, still dyel but in a tank top for a cosplay
>actually try to talk to grills this time for socializing practice
>Some of them mention how im muscly in some way, can see them checking me out as I'm talking to them
>a couple of people who wanted to take pics of me asked me to flex. Others that I talked to mentioned how I looked like I had muscles which fit my cosplay
>A qt grill actually asked for my contact info first, and she suggested meeting up at an arcade for rhythm games. Got some fb, snap and insta adds as well.
>Another grill snapped me first
>Pretty sure a qt Yang cosplayer said I reminded her of the statue of David in a photo, but Im 75% sure I misheard. I want to believe. Also hugged me as I said bye even tho we only talked for a couple of mins.
>I could feel stares but I figured it was because of how silly my cosplay was.

I know anime conventions are the lowest totem pole, b-but am I on my way to making it guys. I'm not used to talking and socializing with people help. How do I make social gains aaaahhhhh this is all new to my autistic self

>>42581047
wow

>>42564346
>be 6'2" white guy who lives in korea
>mired literally everyday
Most interesting stories is when girls hit on me in front of my girlfriend, they do not care that i have a gf, pretty alpha desu.

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>>42568560
>xxxx 'Danger' xxx

>>42581233
Don't even worry bruh, regardless of the event walking around a huge crowd talking to random people is the best way to make social gains. Realize how easy it actually was and be a little more out there next time. Baby steps.

>>42564346
>back to uni
>my brothers best friend goes there now and I hang out with her before classes start (she's cute but I'm not going to try to bang cause I don't know what went on with her and my brother)
>go to her dorm to watch tv
>open the door, her roommate is standing there and say she hi to her
>she sees me, her eyebrows raise and she's like "ooooo heeeyy" and waves to me semi seductively.


God making me not super into black chicks is suffering. As a white guy with a natty fro, I'm practically a magnet for them.

>>42581233

>>42564220

>>42581233
It's easy to practice there since they are all autismo there. It makes you feel more confident

>>42564973
What happened with her? The azn qt?

>>42564388
>kissing a roast hippie at a music fest
Get tested

>>42564485
Functionally-sized

>>42564388

She probably sucked a dozen of cocks before kissing you.

Happend today
>about to leave gym
>as I'm leaving the receptionist girl and one of her coworkers are talking to each other from across the desk
>as I pass the desk to leave through the door, both the receptionist and her coworker turn and look at me
>since I have the 'tism I look behind me to see if theyre looking at something else, then I just walk away

Don't know if it counts as a mire but I've been noticing this more and more lately , mostly at bars

>>42564830
Man I wash I lived in a dwarfcountry. 6'1-6'2 here but the average is just below 6'1, so dont stand out that much.

>>42565440
Side chick 1>Sidechick 2>Gf>Your gf=Sluts

And yes I fuck all of them

>>42564346
Serious question.

What do you say when older females are pretty much drooling over you and compliment you and you dont want to let them think you are interested but you have to be nice and friendly to them.

I'm a bartender and this happens everyday. Some shit that they say is pure filth.

>only underage girls mire
profuselySweatingman.jpg
I don't know how long can I hold back. One is a 12 year old tomboy and I want to give her the ol' mating press every time she clings to me. Worst part is our parents joke about how we're gonna be married. Fuck my life.

>>42577636
I've gotten blowjobs from a coworker. You'll have to find the fine line to tell her upfront ish. Like "we're both adults" and go from there. Mine was obvious cause it started from a 'mire.

Women love a squat butt.

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>>42582453

You need to get out more with people your age. Jesus christ

>>42582453
What the fuck? I treat 12 year olds responsibly as if they were my own children. I'm 18.

>Be skinny fuck
>Friends with built fat
>He gets me into the gym, starts teaching me stuff
>Benching 7.5kgs on bench
>Get serious, eat right, gym everyday with gym bro
>Talk about gym routine and diet at work
>Making some progress but still skinny fuck
>10/10 Russian girl we work with asks how I've been doing in the gym
>Wants to see my muscles
>Too skinny still
>Just laugh it off and say I'm a work in progress

Haven't seen her in a while and she lives in a different city now, but I still lift for her. Never again will I have to turn down a qt Russian. Never again, /fit/. Never again.

>>42568549
> you fugg her
> see her time to time

This cant get interesting anymore, please dont continue

Also, where do I get a friend who gives no shit what hes talking?

>>42564346

>Be chilling out with female friend
>"You'd look good with a tattoo"
>"not on your arms tho, they're your best feature"
>"We were going over you with a friend of mine and you'd be the perfect bf"
>Dat eyefucking of my chest, shoulders and arms

Sure, I'll take it.

>>42569994
Oh god this is my story asf

>>42576909
>not filling the twink trapmode and his gf with superior seed
you're never gonna make it

>>42577636
don't shit where you eat
unless you plan on quitting very soon

>>42568016
Post pictures from retrospect or I call bullshit.

>>42577725
proper grooming and dressing for your body is important. you need to also really feel good in your clothes

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>>42564346
Should have chased after her with a piece of bread in your mouth and uncombed hair.
>implying that ever happened.

>>42577725
Just be confident bro

>>42578871
she has yet to pay the toll, stay away

>>42564388
F
Enjoy the herpes

>>42565725
You firmly shake her hand and ask for a job.

A blow job that is

>>42567744
>not making cancer gainz

>>42566367
Not bad. Only way this can work is without stuttering and with a huge shit eating grin

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>>42576156
>That visualization

>>42564572
Should have told your sister to tell the receptionist to say that to your face and not through the phone and see what happens

>being a teacher
>lose like 10 pounds after reading the sticky
>students from different classes start saying "teacher looks slimer"

They mirin. But My mom is a gains goblin "You look like a bird". "You shoul eat more"

>>42582453
hit that shit.

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Most of the mirin I've ever got was from girls right before/after fucking, oddly enough

>Be me, early 20's, 6'1 and 72kg, sorta skinny fit

>Walking home with target it's pretty clear at that point that there will be pussy smashing
>Can't smoke in dorm so we grill a last one before coming up
>sitting on the grass, say "since I'm rather skinny" at some point in the conversation
>"You're not skinny ! You actually look kinda buff"
>"Wanna feel it instead of looking at it?"
>Mfw I definitely got rid of the spaghetti syndrom
>Mfw I smashed an Australian hottie bareback

>Be me, 6 months ago so around 75kg this time
>Fuck qt
>Lying in bed, just caressing her body to see if she's up for round 2
>Ask her "are you tired"?
>"No but I feel so protected lying on your big chest that I could fall asleep right here"

Maybe they didn't mean it and just said it to compliment me but damn, both those times I resolved to train even harder

>>42566155
Lmao iktf bruh. Just ask her out and see wagwun.

>>42569163
For you

>>42564346
>FDNY Paramadic
>Puerto Rican trash monkey girl who is a dispatcher hates me because I don't smile or talk much
>Always wear shirts and uniforms a size too big because it's more comfortable and I usually have more insulating cloths underneath it during the summer so she doesn't want to fuck me
>She dispatches me and these two wemmins who can't lift for shit in a modified ambulence we call the Hambulence to a apartment
>Elevator broken in this ghetto apartment building
>see the patient is 550 pounds who is having chest pains who has Agina but is out of his Nitro
>he is crying from the crushing pain in chest
>Backup is 13 minutes away
>Scream at the two girls to nut up and take the bottom of the stairchair
>Take the top and activate my fucking legs and straighten my spine as if I'm going for my PR deadlift
>Girls are screaming it's too much and start to wobble
>125 pound girl named Samantha falls
>Other girl named Lin digs in deep and takes over the entire lower lift by herself
>Literally have to roll and walk over 125 pound Samantha as to not drop the patient
>Becoming dizzy and weak
>Every part of my body screaming
>Sams worthless ass crying like a bitch on the stairs because she's all bruised
>Finally reach the bottom of the stairs
>Lin collapses from overexertion
>Help the patient lift himself onto the stretcher which in itself a feet of strength I never thought I could do
>I put him on a rebreather, give him some baby asprine then move him onto the ambulance with Lin who gained enough strength to help me load him into the ambulance
>Have to fireman carry Samantha back to the ambulance because she says she's too hurt to walk
>patient reaches the hospital
>My body is broke
>Sam is on leave for medical reasons (soft muscle tissues shit but we know its bullshit)
>Puerto Rican dispatcher reprimanded for sending me with two women for a stairchair operation with no additional buses
>I fucked Lins chubby Asian ass that night in her parents basement

>>42569490
Flex

>>42582453
Mormon?

>>42571141
Where you from, my brother ?

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>>42577501
>muscle shirt

>>42579726
Bro, if you like her then go for it.

Sounds like a comfy feel desu senpai.

>>42582453
I have the inverse issue. Only fucking older chicks. Feelsbadman.

>>42582750
>"No but I feel so protected lying on your big chest that I could fall asleep right here"
I am a 22yo virgin and this has always been my goal desu senpai

>tfw /fit/
>tfw no qt to cling onto you after ramming her in bed

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>>42568321
6' 3"
Hear this often

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>>42575026
>I jokingly reply "bigger as in fatter?"

>>42582453
Don't let this opportunity go to waste or I'll curse you

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>>42579329
>dwarf fortress
fucking lost

>out with friends
>middle aged black lady with crack addict voice
>"you have a really nice ass, honey"
4 hours later
>going to into subway to go home
>bump into gay couple
>"oh my gooosh, look"
>stares at me as I walk down the stairs

Hey guys need a bit of advice

>go to bar with friends on saturday night
>be drinking and bantering with buddies and then start to go off with one friend do start hitting on girls
>some 5/10 taps our drinks as we walk by and with her is a literal 9/10 perfect waifu tier
>we of course start talking to them
>5/10 thinks my friend is hot af so I just focus on the perfect waifu
>after about 20 minutes of chatting with her and such ask her if I could kiss her
>she smiles and starts to say something so I just go in for the kiss
>we make out for like 45 seconds then the 5/10 friend throws a tantrum because my friend rejected her
>waifu has to leave to make friend feel better
>got her number and she texted me apologizing about her 5/10 friends behavior
>we text all sunday just getting to know each other a bit more
>I text her last and say that I was getting tired and was gonna crash and told her goodnight
>she hasn't responded yet and that was 11 hours ago

So I'm thinking of not texting her at all today (unless she texts me) and then just calling her tomorrow to try to hang out with her asap because girls think calling is cute.

What do you guys think? She's 23 and I'm 28... perfect 9/10 waifu tier. I want to nut inside her and produce beautiful children so she never has to work again

>>42580942
>good a dancing
how do I become this? I don't even know what kind of dance to do in clubs and shit

>>42582722
>mom
did she tell you to become a teacher?

>>42583166
you were kissing a dude sorry to inform you

>>42583166
Yeah do exactly that, I'd just drop the "asap" part.
I like to offer girls a fake choice in that situation. Tell her "Let's hang out on *current day+3* or on *current day+5* ". This way you don't seem thirsty while appearing as a man who has a relatively busy schedule and who knows how to take charge of things, they usually love it.
Either she'll say yes for one of the days you proposed either she'll just say that she's available another time, which might be sooner.

You've got the biggest part of the work done buddy, hang in there


+Post pic

>>42583166
Your idea seems right to me, go for it

>>42583181
>being this upset

>>42583228
I hear ya man.. thing is she said her only off days are usually Mondays and she works two jobs. I've got a pretty busy week and have a wedding to go to this weekend but also don't really feel like hanging out with her today or asking for that matter (unless she texts) because it would seem to sudden / desperate

>post pic

I want to but I've seen people on here hunt down the girls facebook and post links to the thread before and don't want to fuck this up. You really have to take my work on this. 5'8" beautiful immaculate skin... green eyes brunette and very feminine and delicate. My friend was mirin hard after.

>>42583172
You just have to go out a lot. No kidding. At the beginning you're just kind of stepping but when you observe other guys who are good dancers, you will start copying their dance. Work your way up the top by copying dances from the best male dancers in the club. Also make sure you go with friends and just smile a lot.

>>42583325
Oh and to add to that: you need to get to know the music that's played in the clubs. That way you can "sing along" and you can add hand signs to your dancing that accomodates the music.

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>>42583303
Aight anon, then ask her out next monday.
Godspeed my man, wreck that pussy with the force of a thousand suns

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>>42564346
>>42568738
Have related hair story from this Saturday
>be me, 6'3" 195 dyel approaching bretty big status
>long brown hair
>go to old nerd friends' space themed party
>just wear tight green pants, tanktop, and hair like pic related
>TONS of attention from every girl at party since everyone else is normal looking af
>21 year old cute blond with tons of tats comes up to me and eye rapes me asking if she can play with and braid my hair
>say absolutely not, these buns took a couple tries
>she hangs around me all night, starts just throwing her body into me if I'm next to her (like hard as fuck leaning I guess, but was beyond blatant)
>demands my # outside, asks if she can follow me home
>uhhhh absolutely
>make it home, smash

nerdy costume parties are way too easy. This girl was also pretty damn easy, and at least a little messy. Had to pick her naked ass off my bathroom floor when I found her asleep there and she kept telling me her dad is a recovering alcoholic.. Good kisser, nice shaved pussy, let me hit it raw tho. 6.5/10, might smash again

>>42583408
>Godspeed my man, wreck that pussy with the force of a thousand suns
thank you my dude.. deus vult

>>42582750

>Wanna feel it instead of looking at it?

Holy shit this is a great line. It's so simple and casual and widely applicable, and so efficient and effective too. Definitely stealing this.

>>42582844
that's dope anon, good shit.

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>>42582844
what's your native language ?

>>42582404
I have a GF

>>42564485
Kek'd

>>42580942
>>42583325
Iktf. I worked my way up just like that too. But it never really gets me laid since I'm too shy so I always ruin it.
A couple of months I made out with a Spanish milf though (she was 30) and she even thought me some new moves with my hips. I swear to God older women are the best since they don't care to give you some honest to god advice on how you should behave

Either way, I want to learn how to swing and dance salsa/bachata. Almost no one in my country (NL) can do those dances so that HAS to get me laid

>>42564377
Topkek

>>42583436
>say absolutely not, these buns took a couple tries
Are you a man or woman, so confused

>>42583166
>calling is cute
Calling is what men do, it's more direct and carries more weight, weight you use for your decision making.

>>42583166
wait a week and set up a real date

>>42583436
kek nice anon

I'm 7'2" so I get looks all the time and I'm never sure if they're miring my 10-pack (no shirts can reach all the way down to my belt) or wondering how a giraffe escaped the zoo.

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>>42583436
>lot of tats

>get into office in the morning
>shitty open space office
>stand between two girls from the office and some screen they were watching
>"anon, we can't see the screen"
>"i'd rather look at anon"
>giggles and shit

i'm dyel by /fit/ standards, but feels good, brahs

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>>42571333
>obviously my attempts didnt work out
>pleasantly surprised

This happened to me about 3 months ago

>be me
>enjoying sweet noob gains combined with dbol
>new haircut
>visit senpai
>cousin (15) exclaims "pecs" and feels my chest for 10-20 seconds
>asks if I've been working out
>flex arm "you tell me"
>"oh my god"
>holds my arm as we walk along the street with her friend later that day
>touches my abs at dinner
>"solid"

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>>42584129
>solid

>>42583998
agreed

>>42584014
wait a week as in dont chat with her for a week? women are fickle as fuck.. that sounds like horrible advice

>>42582844
Tbh you're a piece of shit person for trying that hard to save a 550 pound subhuman. Lardasses like that are only detrimental to society, you should have chilled and waited for backup.

>>42583950
I'm>>42580942 and Dutch too. Only 1% of the club going males know how to use their hips. They look stiff and awkward. Go for it. Girls WILL mire

>>42565725
"that's hot."

>>42579726
If your friends would make fun of you for liking a girl are they really your friends?

Never trust a girl but your friends are jealous

DO IT

>>42583988
lol i'm a man. If I were a 6'3" woman easily pulling random sloots that would be way more interesting.

>>42583483
deus vult

>Be at club with friend
>Friend brought his soon-to-be gf that he was dating at the time
>Tfw third wheel
>Friends date introduces us to her friends
>One of them is this hot, short qt3.14 with jetblack hair
>Turns out me and qt are the only partysmokers (Used to hang with a lot of lame people back then)
>Share smokes, get some alone time
>Bit of flirting, then she mentions she has a bf
>Fuck
>Still keep flirting a bit for shits n giggles
>Later go inside to sit with friend and a few others
>Downing some beers, then the girls come back
>Sofas around the table are full
>Friends date sits in his lap, naturally
>Qt just stands there for a moment
>Pat my lag as to motion her to take a seat
>She actually does
>Friends date is all "OHHGH girl u BAD LOL" and they keep shooting each other looks
>Ask qt if she wants a shot, follows me to the bar
>She downs her shot then gives me kiss
>Kiss her back for a few sec
>Both go back like nothing happened
>Thought it was best to back off after that, didnt make any more moves
>Few days later friend tells me that qt is asking about me
>Just go "fuck it" and add her on fb
>Hit her up a bit later
>She wants to meet for a drink, claimed she owed me for the shot at the club

Ended with me fucking her brains out in her apartment. She was full of regret the morning after and later broke up with her bf. Felt kinda bad but it was also the first time a girl went such lengths to get me

>>42585041
cunt

>>42585041
It is within my power as the Curator of this thread to absolve you. You are absolved.

>tfw don't get mired anymore since my cut

How do I deal with cut separation anxiety? My heart urges me to get fat again, but my brain tells me I will look stupid without a shirt on.

>>42565725
Moan gently as she puts it in.

>>42585078
Her bf was a manlet so I never blamed her for it

>>42585082
Cheers brah

>>42565725
"You put it in the wrong pocket"

If she actually reaches for it again then you should just fucking pull your dick out

>>42568738
kek

>break up with girl after about 1 year
>horny so hook up with an ex
>last time we fucked I was skelly, 30lbs heavier now
>take of shirt
>"wow, well you've certainly changed"
>worst sex of my life and then she tells me she loves me and always has
>leave and tell her never to talk to me again

>>42585160
nvrmind then continue

>>42583166
Your next response should be asking for a date

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>>42585233
Well done. Godspeed anon.

>>42568731
the dream

>>42569053
What would you give him, a 5? Maybe it's because I'm a guy, but he doesn't scream "ugly"

>>42568731
My mom told me "my body is changing" and I should become a fitness coach.

>>42585041
>>42585082
LMAO
good shit anon

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>friends grandma says "have you gotten taller? you look taller?"
>friend says "and a lot bigger he really put on some muscle"
based friend, im still dyel as fuck and he's jacked and cut. what a guy

>>42564377
>and I bert stare him with my arms crossed
This is better than dinosaur.