Loseing weight

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Because of being addicted to eating my max weight was 387lb
Two years ago I started to lose weight lost some gained some but now I weigh in a happy 230lb
But the way I have been loseing it makes me feel bad and guilty
The whole reason of loseing weight was because my blood sugar was always high
and blood presure too
I had stomach pains because of ulcers and other GI problems/
so every time I ate I hurt an hour later
so I stoped eating,But when I would lose 10lbs and feel great I would order A pizza
extra cheese that type
one night crying I orderd a pizza.
I started to take my first bight but then.
I told my self I would not hurt anymore
nor gain weight,
So I stuffed the pizza in my mouth,I know its sounds stubid bare with me
I was moaning like a virgins first time.
and right before I would swollow I would spit it out in a store bag,and I "ate" the whole pizza
I really just wasted 12 bucks by spiting it out in a bag
between spiting out the food every 4 or so bites I would eat a little bread or fruit
so now every time I get a craving I buy what ever then spit it out in a bag
I eating verry little now a days.
I think I and others get addicted to food because the taste makes us feel good
Yea its nice to have a full belly.
but just not with bad foods
I cant be the only one doing this