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Fuck /fit/, I just fucked up in front of these dudes at the gym I was trying to be friends with because my gym cucumber fell out. What do?
> Be me, kinda beta, but getting better, decent build
> At new school, transfer from community college, start going to gym same time every day.
> Cool group of guys there same time, some of them big
> Find up reasons to talk fitness, get spotted a few times by them.
> Begin building rapport, one dude even comments on how my lifts are up
>feels good man.jpg
Here is where I fuck up. I started wearing boxer briefs because I like the tight feel when I squat but my bulge was making me super self conscious. I don't think I'm "small" but a grower, not shower.
> See online other guys use cucumbers and some tape to fix this problem
> why not?.jpg
> Start wearing locker room cucumber all the time. More confidence = better lifts.
Then It. All. Goes. Wrong.
>Head to locker room with cool guys, already talking about McGregor vs Mayweather
> Wearing older loser pair of boxers but had cucumber on.
> All the sweat must have loosened the tape, and the boxers are loose.
> Feel the cucumber falling
> Oh God...
> Mid conversation a cucumber falls out of my boxers and slides across the wet floor.
> I leave my body
> Everyone laughing
> Funny huge black dude makes 10,000 jokes
> Get told to pick up cucumber and throw it out.
> Do it, making me look even more beta.
> More jokes rain down.
> Try to laugh it off. Break into one sentence replies as I speed change.
> Black dude says sorry, and tells them to stop bagging on me
> Thanks...
> "cause this nigga might come back and go Columbine over this shit."
> More laughs.
tl;dr my locker room cucumber fell out in front of dudes I want to be friends with. What do I do next?
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>>42473523
Say it was your post workout meal and you're keeping it warm
>>
ahahahahahahahaahhahahahaahhahaha
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Well, thanks, OP, that was funny
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If I just act confident and don't acknowledge it then they will just forget right?
Problem is they all think I have a small dick now. Thought about going into a stall and working up a boner so on the way back it can fall to a halfy. Then I could change into a bathing suit in view.
I never swam before though. Do you think they'll know what I'm up too?
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>>42473546
Or brining it.
Like a pickle.
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>>42473523
why do niggas always gotta bring up school shootings
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>>42473523
>kinda beta, but getting better
>uses a cucumber to compensate
TOP JEJ
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>>42473810
>31% of population
>Upwards of 98% of mass shootings
It's just a joke though.
Last thing we need is another columbine.
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>>42473636
>If I just act confident and don't acknowledge it then they will just forget right?
No
>Problem is they all think I have a small dick now. Thought about going into a stall and working up a boner so on the way back it can fall to a halfy. Then I could change into a bathing suit in view. I never swam before though. Do you think they'll know what I'm up too?
Sounds autistic and you'd probably fuck it up more, I suggest you vanish from that place and find a gym somewhere else
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>>42473523
Funny bait desu
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>>42473874
>Upwards of 98% of mass shootings
SOURCE PLEASE
>>
wasn't there any point of time which you thought to yourself that maybe taping a fucking pickle to your leg might be silly?
idk maybe when you where in the midst of taping a pickle to your leg....
jesus christ man..
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>>42473523
lol, great story man. I loved it, 9/10
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>>42473967
Whites are the only ones that stay in school, so it's not too surprising that we have the majority of school shootings. Blacks are also immune to school bullying because it would be seen as a hate crime.
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>>42474192
Idk, I saw other people mention it in forums I searched. People wear lifts in their shoes and girls wear push up bras...
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>>42473967
https://davinasquirrel.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/school-shootings/
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>>42473898
You're probably right. They might pay more attention to me and catch me jerking off in the stall.
I'll just start going at a different time.
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>>42474277
what kinds of forums? wrongplanet.com?
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>>42474289
>I'll just start going at a different time.
yes. and do never, ever devise any plans again. your brain doesnt work like that of well-adjusted adults. Its not your fault, but it makes socializing harder for people like you. dont read advice on internet forums, thats where other autists give each other advice
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>>42474277
and you never thought to question it for a second?
never thought " hey, taping a slimey phallic vegetable to my leg to compensate for my insecurities might not be such a great idea?
beta thinking gives you beta results.
besides, there are specially made pushup boxers out there.
look up aussiebum.
faggot
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I had a similar issue with my boner hiding apparatus once
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you could have prevented this by not being so beta as to put a fucking cucumber in your pants to make your dick look bigger because you were so insecure everyone was looking at your dick. you homo
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>>42474583
/thread
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>>42474583
I'm not beta. I had a problem and I found a solution retard.
I just had one flaw in the plan is all. I'm not gay either.
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>>42474667
you're a fucking idiot and deserved what happened to you. other guys usually don't compare cocks so being insecure about your size in front of other guys either means you're subconsciously gay or a massive autist. probably both
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>>42473523
just go at a different time if you're too much of a pussy to admit to them what happened.
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>>42474239
as long as burgers continue to considers spics and chinks white then yeah of course it will be always them
niggers cant plan a complex thing as a school shooting, taking care of the flow of people etc they can just ghetto shooting
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>>42473523
This shit. This is why i still come to this fuckiny place
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>>42474771
Lol why cant black people plan a shooting
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>>42474667
>cares about other guys seeing his bulge
>"I'm not gay guys I swear!"
They probably think that you're pretty gay, anon.
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>>42473810
My 4 years in a black highschool and it was the one thing they wouldn't shut up about. It's pretty good times if the black man is funny, if not it's just stale and annoying.
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I love this board
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>>42473810
Makes them feel better about how many niggers shoot up literally everything else.
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>>42473810
They aren't the ones getting shot
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>>42475145
Kek
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>>42473636
>If I just act confident and don't acknowledge it then they will just forget right?
No. Acknowledge it.
Own the cucumber
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>>42473523
How big was the cucumber?
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>>42473523
sounds like there are a few witnesses that need to commit """suicide"""
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>>42474977
too low IQ
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>Gym cucumber
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>>42475322
this, seriously
as hilarious as this is, letting them know you can take something as awkward as that shows strength... for what it's worth
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>>42473523
Fucking loled dude. Good job
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>>42476227
Not that big. Obviously a full cucumber would be way too big. People online suggested cucumbers because they are cheap, $.68 each here, and you can easily cut them down to size.
I started off doing a lot of cutting and checking. You fuck up alot. Too big. Too square. Too pointy. But by 3 months in I could do it by sight. It helps to save your last gym cucumber so you can size based off that.
Days you go for a PR, I really do think a slightly bigger gym cucumber while you change helps you mentally. It just gives you that edge, like preworkout.
I'd tape up at the dorm just before I left. Not really uncomfortable once you get used to it. Just don't get sloppy or you end up like me.
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>"cause this nigga might come back and go Columbine over this shit."
holy fuck
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>>42473523
Do people actually do shit like this?
What's the fucking point?
Nobody is looking at your dick at the gym. Are you so insecure because you have a micropenis or something?
Like when my dick isn't hard it's fucking small, when I'm hard it's like 8".
It's not like people walk around with huge erections at the gym or anywhere public so nobody is going to care.
I just don't understand.
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>>42473523
This cant be real, pls tell me this didn't happen
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>>42473523
Tell us other very stupid things you do that you got from youtube so this doesn't happen again
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>>42476883
Why not just buy a $20 dildo that you could use forever?
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>>42473523
You could of just played it off as a joke...
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>tfw spotter found the gym cucumber
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Thanks for that OP, I really needed a chuckle today. Just came home from work and saw this thread: was not disappointed
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>>42473523
This has to be fake.
No one can be this autistic, without being required to wear a helmet everywhere.
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You're all fucking lying. No one else here does this!?!?
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>>42473810
Cuz whites make niggling. Jokes like stealin
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i have no sympathy for you OP
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>>42473523
POST YFW THE GYM CUCUMBER FALLS OUT OF YOUR PANTS
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>>42473523
This totally happened
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>>42473523
who here shower not grower?
Like the lads like to make fun of the bulge/ having a big flaccid cock but when its actually hard its not even that much bigger. Feels confusing man.
fuck google captcha wathcin' this shit yo.
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>>42473523
My god this is faggotry to the extreme. You are on another level if you thought putting a goddamn cucumber down your shorts was a solution to a 'problem'.
Thread posts: 63
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Thread images: 15