ITT Autistic things you do at the gym

>wear basketball shorts to the gym
>check phone in between sets even though nobody talks to me

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>receptionist: have a good workout
>me: t-thinks (trying to say thanks sounded like thinks)

>>42406995
Is this a joke?

>memorize the work schedule of every staff member
>I now know exactly who should and shouldnt be there

>>42407038
I wish my entire life was a joke and somebody will finally laugh at it

>drum on my legs in between sets
i can tell everyone gets annoyed, but it keeps my energy up and
>muh rudiments

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>>42406995
In the middle of every workout I take a 15-minute break to go vape in the bathroom stall

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>>42406995
>stare straight ahead during rest
>people happen to wander into my line of vision
>they turn around to stare me down with a startled look on their face
>I have to pull away like some sort of creep

it gets worse when the gym is busy and there's nowhere to look at

>>42406995
>receptionist: "have a nice workout!"
>me: ">implying a workout has to be nice" "ISHYGDDT"

>keep taking off my earbuds to see if people can listen into my anime playlist
>they can't
>somehow keep thinking they can hear it

>>42407022
She probably just thinks you're a kiwi lad
>'thinks miss'

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>>42406995
>see dude I knew in high school
>in the gym with him for an hour
>completely ignore him
>finally next to him at dumbbell rack
>both have earbuds in, not looking at eachother
>randomly say "what's up" very quietly just to not seem rude
>mfw

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>>42406995
>rip ass ironically when dl lmfao4pl8+
I'm the gym alpha so I can do that. I also rip ass when women walk by in everyday life, it's hilarious to see their reactions when a guy with muscles gives zero fucks

>>42407259
Happened to me, I just did my whole workout (sometimes right next to him) then afterwards i caught up with him

>>42407015
Are you me?

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>running on treadmill
>pretend I'm Sonic

>>42406995

The heavier I lift, the more likely I am to make elephant noises while exhaling on the lift.

>set up to do squats
>clips are scattered around the gym
>want to look for them without looking like a creep
>best solution I can think to to this is to put my hand on my eyebrows and scout the gym like a pirate ship captain looking for land on the horizon

I should just bring my own

>>42407435
>not just holding the bar horizontal

One time I shit my pants doing deadlifts

>>42406995
>qt3.14 doing stretches in front of me
>look in the opposite direction
>stare in the corner of my eye at dat ass

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>Freshman year
>all sorts of girls from different middle schools coming to one high school
>SurelyIhaveachancenow.jpg
>Cute girl thinks I'm hilarious
>we'll call her erica
>always getting cozy with me
>I have a disorder that when things go good
>I go autistic
>For some reason start insulting her
>Call her chewbacca because she has peach fuzz on her lip
>Plug out her computer while she's doing an essay in english class
>One day shes trying to call her mom for a ride home
>Blurt out into the phone "Erica likes penis! : v )
>However
>No matter how far my powerlevel would ascend
>She would just awkwardly laugh it off
>Eventually she moves on to another guy
>He starts hanging out with us
>One day after school he's with me and Erica
>Decide to go max power even tho its a monday
>I say "Erica you have something in your hair lol"
>"Oh Where"?
>Lean over and spit in her hair because I think its gonna be a funny joke
>Yell out "RIGHT HERRRR!!"
>She has a look that I lack the vocabulary to describe
>It a mix of horror, sadness, shock and despair.
>If someone saw they would think she was raped.
>The dude who was with us then proceeds to beat my ass like there's no tomorrow.
>was quite surprised but figured out quickly his reasoning
>Erica watches us.
>It reminded me of my chinese cartoons.
>When the main character swoops in the nick of time to save the girl.
>I was a pretty fast thinker and already knew the outcome of the situation
>Realize I have no chance of winning
>Realize that I have to escape
>Realize that I must go home and learn how to endure shame
>Realize that I might have something wrong with me
>I was able to escape the beating and had to have my mom pick me up at a walmart 3 miles away from the school.

The worst part is this isn't even the most cringest moment of my HS career.

Or even my life

>>42407323

You can just admit to shitting yourself.

Legit question but who here has a medical diagnosis of autism or autism spectrum disorder?

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>>42406995
>fart because there is no one around
>silent, yet deadly, like the ninja
>pt comes around to grab some shit
>looks at me, aware of the poison that surrounds us

>>42407495
Not one person.

>>42407483

From now on, just tell girls you like them, or do the opposite of everything your downs syndrome tells you to do.

>>42407483
This is bad and you should feel bad.

>>42407435
fucking kek

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>>42407115
Literally same dude, why are we like this

>>42407495
There isn't a term for it yet. Sure some people are awkward but they can still function in society.
Then there's people like
>>42407495
Who might seem like they have something wrong with them mentally but can still find a nixe job get a car and house etc. An actual autistic person would have trouble with such things. Their autism keeps them from killing themselves if they truly now how far into shitspace they're traveling in. I don't know what the medical term for our disease will officially be called but when it gets brought to the light all the normies and quirky girls will say they have it and we will lose yet another piece of our identity

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>>42407022
>last gym I went to had a really good looking receptionist
>every time I go I have to deal with the social anxiety of interacting with her because she's so gorgeous

I'm not even bad looking too which makes it worse so I feel like I have to masquerade as a Chad or else she'll know I'm just a good-looking beta

>>42407015
i do that but i only go on my phone to set a timer.

>>42407015
Literally me last night

>>42407495
I'm going to get tested for it soon, but I don't think I'm actually autistic
It's my lack of empathy and obsession (not too bad) that are the reason for testing

>tighten clips on bar after every set even though they barely moved
>drink from water bottle in between sets
>spin plates on bar while resting cuz nothing better to do
>tap the plates to make sure theyre real

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So i can still be Autistic even if i start lifting?

>>42407435
Laughed out loud

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>>42407483
>I have a disorder that when things go good
>I go autistic

same senpai

>>42407684

>perform repetitive action for hours on end according to strict routines.

Weight lifting is autistic af anon.

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>receptionist: I told you to stop coming here you fucking faggot
>y-you too

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>>42407653
>drink from water bottle in between sets

>live in a small town in buttfucking nowhere.
>town finally builds a proper gym attached to the sport center.
>behind the center, facing the gym is a camp site.
> it fills up with old fucks like a Moses scale plague!
> old fucks glued to the windows like fly to your Mum ass crack.
> pump myself up for the next set by staring down old people until they fuck off away from the windows.

>>42407495
I do
I'm also not nearly as autistic as anyone in this thread

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>Go in for leg day
>Go hard as a motherfucker listining to new music that really just gets me there
>After about 90min my legs feel like butter
>suddenly feel the need to shit
>Waddle to bathroom
>As I'm going to sit, my legs give out and I call right onto the shitter
>the shit just falls out, no effort on my part at all
>It just keeps coming
>All the shit
>More shit then I have ever had in my life
>More shit then I have ever shit in a week
>When it has finally finished free-falling from my colon, I go to stand
>But I can't
My legs-they are butter. I am unable to stand.
>They are numb
>Okay, I'll just sit here for awhile and wait for the feeling to come back
>SIX
>HOURS
>LATER
>I still can not move
>I have called no one and have not responded to a single text-Im scared they'll laugh at me.
>It is now 2am. The gym is almost certainly empty.
>I decide I can just drag myself to the showers and sit for awhile
>Flop down from the toilet and crawl out of the stall without opening the door
>Enter Hallway between bathroom and showers
>The night clerk is looking right at me
>No pants, cock dragging on floor
>Asks me what I'm doing
>A...a body weight routine

I changed gyms the next day.

>>42407038
>ru me?
I'm on a first name's basis with all the staff. Even the people who clean up the weights
We hang out sometimes when they're on shift

I don't know which one of these is the worse

>>42407821
>>42407483
>>42406995

>>42407950
This one is fake
>>42407821
A guy took the time to write all this

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>>42407821

>>42407835
You realize they probably think youre weird

>>42407495
I have aspergers, which is on the spectrum. However i seem to funtion ok, with only a few greentext moments happening to me each week.

>>42408028
Oh trust me. The stories I've heard from these people. They don't have a right to judge

>>42407509
Kek this has happened to me as well.

>>42407821
I... I don't believe you.

>>42407210
this is me at work too

>>42407495

Funny story, I have a "medical suggestion of possibility" from childhood that means I can claim disability benefits and any other applicable freebies that I might care for but I am not autistic at all - basically means I get free money on top of other income.

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>grab barbell a carry it over to bench
>somehow miss one side when trying to rack it
>autistically try to catch it
>smash the fuck out of my finger
>finger is swelling and bleeding everywhere
>people rush over and ask me if i'm okay
>say "y-yeah, Im fine" in a voice that sounds like Im about to cry
>do my entire bench set pretending my finger isn't in immense pain

>>42407483

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bybmhr8REkM

is this you?

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>>42407435
>mfw I laughed
>mfw I realized I do this too

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>putting protein into shaker
>spill a little bit over side onto counter
>without thinking I bend down and snort it
>takes me a good 30 seconds to realize what I just did
>mfw

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>>42407435

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>>42407653
>spin plates on bar while resting cuz nothing better to do

Same, makes me feel retarded

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>play a round of disk golf
>do a million burpees between baskets
>take my shirt off to keep it clean
>walk into gym without my shirt
>realize my shirt isn't on
>staff looking at me
>freak the fuck out
>grab some water from the fountain
>exit the building in a hurry
>put my shirt back on
>walk out to my car
>shuffle things around in my car for ten minutes
>head back in
>see girl at the desk looking at me
>probably thinking about how long my nipple hair is
>race to swipe my card at the counter
>tell her I gotta hurry
>sprint to the changing room
>face turns white
>she thinks I have to shit

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>>42407509
Sup bud, least you ain't me

>be alone doing deadlifts
>right before closing, in a college gym, so everything not bolted to the floor is flung across the other fucking side of the room
>rip horrible ass
>gym qt comes around to grab some 10lb plates
>I see her in mirror
>tell her to stop right there
>looks at me puzzled
>keeps coming closer
>smells it
>cannot hide her visible disgust
>say I'm sorry
>face turns red
>she walks away quickly after grabbing her plates
>avoid making eye contact with her for the next 2 years

>>42407112
Rudiments def underrated br

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>>42408404

>>tell her I gotta hurry
>>sprint to the changing room

why the fuck did you say this

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>everytime 10pm or anytime I'm alone at the gym lifting
>take off my shirt and my shorts and lift with only my undies
>chant lyrics from various songs. mostly metal. This time it's Stardust Crusaders OST
>quote movie dialogue or chant incoherent words to hype myself up every set
>drink my protein while imagining a futa forcing me to drink her cum
Always go home with a good mood and a great pump after.

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>>42407821
first time in a while one of these made me laugh

>>42407821
sum old pasta

>>42408138
wtf

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I chew hard gum during every gym workout for the jaw gains and to distract me from the exercise pain. I also save the gum and take it to the next workout, usually get a new piece every 2 weeks or so. Probably pisses off the people around me now that I think about it

also I do neck exercises and barbell hip thrusts and hip abductions, which make people look at me funny

>Gym bro tries and set me up with one of the chicks at the gym
>Tells me to go say hi
>Don't say hi
>avoid eye contact for months
>Girl hates me now
>All girls at that gym hate me now
>Everyone thinks I'm gay

All I've ever known was disappointment I can't even handle these feels how can I handle the feels of being cheated on my chad or becoming a cuck.

>>42407115
hahah. dude you fuckin rule

>>42408434
Holy crap

>doing curls near flat bench
>guy asks "are you using that?"
>thought he asked "CAN I use that?"
>I say "yeah" and give him a thumbs up
>guy leaves and goes to work out in a different part of the gym

>>42407483
iktf

>>42407210
I have done this a million times and not once has anyone ever been able to hear my music. Yet I still do it.

>gym has plants assorted in pots in different sections of the gym
>begin my workout by running my hand through the ones that look like wheat
>pretend I'm maximus from gladiator walking through the wheat fields
>mumble under my breathe "strength and honor"
>catch qt's mirin, occasionally shoot them a glance
>never say a word to them
>listen to white power punk rock while lifting
>imagine hordes of shit skins trying to invade my country
>get pissed and use the rage as fuel for lifts
Those are probably the most autistic things I do besides wearing the occasional tank top that has graphics on it since I've been too much of a jew to go buy a bunch of gym shark outfits.

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>>42407435

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>>42407483

>>42407112
inverted diddles or die

>>42407195
How do you meme arrow irl?

>>42407495
I may
I think my moms hiding it from me though
>at therapist office
>guy has scale in his office
>take my shoes off and weigh myself in his office in the middle of our session
>cuddle up with my mommy because im tired
>therapist ask me to leave so he can talk to my mom privately
>mom later tells me that the therapist was curios if i had autism
Its kind of like when you used to believe in elementary school that your mom paid everyone to hang out with you and everyone in the school was in on it

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>>42408809
>listen to white power punk rock
recommendations?

>>42408809
if it works it works

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>>42410218
>like when you used to believe in elementary school that your mom paid everyone to hang out with you
wut

>>42407015
I never bring my phone to the gym cuz then I'd keep fiddling with it

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>>42408702
fackin gottim mate

>>42407777
Checked

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>>42407483
>>It reminded me of my chinese cartoons.
is this what went through your mind while you were getting btfo? fucking hell anon

>>42407015
If you aren't only bringing salt to the gym and munching on it in between sets, what's the point?

>>42407323
Wow so alpha anon, let me guess you being your onahole out with you too

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>>42407821
10/10

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>>42407483

>>42408434
oh my god

>go to gym
>get tired
>feel like everyone looks at me
>feel like a skinny beta
>leave

>>42406995
I'm sorry but this doesn't even make sense

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>>42407022
Looks to me you probably didnt tip her huh?

>>42406995
>pull up my shorts so it wont bunch up during sumo deadlift
>people always stare at me since my quads are reaching candito levels

>>42407195
You just tell it her voice

>>42408702
Keeeekkkkk

>>42407821
im dead anon

>>42406995
>stare into the mirror like I'm going to kill someone
>somehow this makes me workout harder
>everyone always thinks I want to fight them
>tired but still staring
>just look suicidal now

>finish set
>drink from my bottle as I walk in circles
>repeat x F

>need to do an exercise
>walk up to the spot
>it's taken
>"ey man you need this?"
>without thinking answer "nah"
>would have to wait 10 minutes for the guy to finish because it was my last exercise
>go home instead

>>42408434
Kekkkkkkk

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>in the middle of my second triceps pushdown set
>i'm very impacient so i hardly rest when switching exercises so i was stl fucked from my previous set
>im having trouble pushing the weight down, start to get really light headed
>oh shit im going to pass out
>stop the set, stay there just breathing for 5 minutes with my eyes closed
>open them, the gym ripped old guy is staring at me, asks if im alright
>"y-yeah, you?"
>drink some water in the fountain, rush home

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>>42408050
>spectrum
spectrums don't exist, that's a leftist invention

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I hike up my shorts during deadlifts and squats because it "limits my mobility" when in fact all I want is to look at my quads. I'm the only one who deadlifts in my gym and one of three people that squat so fuck them.

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>>42408434
>>tell her to stop right there

>>42408637
>Gym bro tries and set me up with one of the chicks at the gym
>All girls at that gym hate me now
>Everyone thinks I'm gay
wtf kind of retarded gym is this? is this a gym or high school?

>>42410218
are you 35?

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>>42408434
>>tell her to stop right there
>>say I'm sorry
You fucking autist, there's no sure-fire way she knew it was you until you actually said something.

>>42407483
And I thought I was autistic for running out of stuff to say lol

>>42408235
Kek

>>42408434
STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM

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>>42407573
>Who might seem like they have something wrong with them mentally but can still find a nixe job get a car and house etc. An actual autistic person would have trouble with such things. Their autism keeps them from killing themselves if they truly now how far into shitspace they're traveling in. I don't know what the medical term for our disease will officially be called but when it gets brought to the light all the normies and quirky girls will say they have it and we will lose yet another piece of our identity

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>>42407653
>drink from water bottle in-between sets
What kind of freak are you

>>42411433
I do this for every lift. I wear tight underwear to the gym, kind of like compression shorts but not, and whenever I'm getting ready to lift I tuck the bottom of my shorts into my underwear because I hate the feeling of anything around my knees.

Imagine my waifu on last set. Not joking btw

>>42412272
That can get me like an extra 5 reps

>strafe around a bit inbetween sets
>drink from water bottle between sets
>avert gazes sometimes because i'm ottermode and I'm unsure whether it's mires, disgust, attraction, judgement, whatever the fuck
I don't really care but eh, who's "NORMAL" when lifting anyway, what's normal and what's not, you can't just stand dead still not moving your eyes at all inbetween sets, right?

>>42408434
>tell her to stop right there
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XR6dsy7ATE

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>pack my stuff to go to the gym
>usually have a towel with me
>grabbed my cumrag instead of a clean one since I thought no one would notice
>work out, nobody suspects a thing
>pack my stuff and go home
>look into my bag
>mfw I forgot my cum rag at the gym
>call the gym the next day
>h-hi did any of you find any towels
>I'm not sure but we can check for you
>I never asked about it again
>acted as if it never happened
>mfw some pt must've found my crusty cumrag in the locker room
>mfw it's a small gym so they probably knew it was mine

>>42412320
>having a cumrag
Why not just SMEAR the cum all over your torso till it is absorbed by the skin?

>>42407483
>The worst part is this isn't even the most cringest moment of my HS career.

C'mon anon, don't leave us hanging.

>at gym, have a bloated stomach
>try to fart, cant
>Start doing a set
>After each rep proudly produce a huge fart
>proceed to do so for a couple of sets

Never have I been so happy lifting weights.

>>42407483
>friend of mine tells me his worst autism moments
>at age 12
>qt teacher is pregnant and about due soon
>everyone leaves the class he's still there
>he feels awkward as fuck
>So I heard.. a lot of women get miscarriages

>>42408138
never vaccinate your children, kids.

>>42408138
>pee fight

>>42408479
This sounds like the green text about a guy that lifted at night and sperged at the gym 'cause he thought no one was around

Then a cardiobunny appeared and explain she heard him the whole time 'cause she was doing her shit in a part of the gym he didn't see - she actually mired his autism and needed to work up the courage to introduce herself, I think he never went back

>>42407210
me

>>42407653
>drink from water bottle in between sets
???

I mouth the words to the same Rap song on repeat during 40 minutes of my cardio. It helps me keep focused.

I also Turn on Cartoon Network on the TV's/

>>42407653
>>>42407684
drink from water bottle in between sets
Never gonna make it

>>42414020
What a fuck up of a post

Mods pls delete

>>42408404
pic related perfectly rounded up your little anektode

I mean it's not gym specific but I fucking do a wink without even realizing when eyes meet w qt3.14.

>>42408434
>Stop right there
My sides didn't.

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Why haven't I seen this one yet ?

>Have a good set, let's say in Hammer Strength seated back rows.
>Get off chair, point at self in the mirror.
>Stare at self for a few seconds.
>Go back to playing air guitar for a few seconds.
>Return to seated machine.

>I can't be the only one.

>>42407112
My niggah

>>42412320
>not just using toilet paper or tissues

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>>42406995
>my normal gym is too crowded but a super cool one nearby does a free day pass
>go to the cool one and it's super serious first time seeing a deadlift jack, numerous platforms for oly, a monolift, first time seeing free standing squat racks without safeties, there's like a total of 8 squat racks compared to the 2 at my normal gym
>as a raw beginner with 0 history of exercise i load up lmao 25lb plates to bench
>very tough for me not sure if i can complete my sets
>on my last set i drop the bar on myself at the bottom position so no harm done
>at this very moment two big black guys get into a heated argument right next to me, they begin shouting
>everyone's attention is literally right next to me as i'm struggling to get lmao 25s up
>for some reason i think i can just do a sit up to get it off my chest and decide to kick off
>all i end up doing is luigi jumping on bench
>i finally push it off myself during the argument
>not a single person offered to help because surely no one could get injured from such light weight

>look at my wrist to see the time
>there's no watch there
>look again 10 mins later
every fucking time

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>finish set
>walk down stairs
>remember I left bench drenched in sweat
>think others are judging and shaming me
>rush back up
>wipe down bench
>all crowded area sees is guy randomly wiping down a bench then shuffling down stairs

>>42410198
use a sarcastic tone

>>42407015
What fucking shorts am I supposed to wear then? All I ever see is basketball shorts and never short as fuck biking shorts. Most I've ever seen was a black guy wearing compression shorts with a john persons bulge

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>in the gym shower, after workouts
>if I had arm day, wash arms with extra shampoo and comment on how good they did

>while lifting, or otherwise in the gym, if I mess up or anything beyond the utmost ordinary happens, I do reaction faces and think about how I would greentext what just happened
>pic related

>>42412376
jet powered XDXDXDXD

>>42414305
Learn how to do the roll of shame, mate

>>42407210
I'm the same in my car. No anime music but I listen to some XTREME metal and I feel like people are looking at me weird like they can hear it, but I'm pretty sure they can't.

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>if any female is remotely present and workout out or something I make an effort of showing I'm not looking at her, while thinking of myself as a monk or priest
>tfw pagan

>>42414452
I learned the roll later. At the moment all I knew was shame

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>>42414477

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>>42414466
>do something similar
>when the gym is empty and there's one woman squatting I take the bench farthest away from her
>during my sets at some point she decides to move to the squat rack directly in front of me and starts doing good mornings

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>work up to 3x5 working set 310 on squats
>hit first set
>8 minutes rest between each set
>see qt girl lurking around behind doing meme lifts
>really grinding out the reps, visbily struggling
>get nervous and do 3rd set too early
>miss last rep had to bail out
>qt comes over "wow thats impressive weight"
>"yeah but I missed the last rep so not really"
>qt "well yeah but still good job"
>"i failed the set so its really not a good job"

why couldnt I just accept the mire and maybe make some smooth conversation after? She opened the door perfectly for me and I just shut it down with autism.

>>42414466
Learn to greentext normie REEEEEE

>>42407210
This isnt just a gym thing I do this everywhere.

>>42414499
I also half-ass the "prayer" gesture from Dark Souls, just that I do only the hand part
Probably just looks aspie af

>>42414520
First > was accidental

>>42414466

I do the same thing except my reason is I don't want to look like a creep even though it's natural to look at people around you. better safe than sorry in our times.

>>42414368
>10 mins later
more like 10 seconds later... also more like:
>check clock on the wall
>forgot time 10 seconds later, check time on my wristwatch
>take out phone for some reason and check time there again

>>42414515
Live and learn, my man. Now that it has happened to you, you'll be less autistic the next time someone mires you. That's how you learn, through mistakes.

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>>42407701

Damn, that hit close to home. That actually made me sad, 'cause it's true. Why can't I be normal..

>>42414515
The ice is broken though
Talk to her next time and be less autistic

Social gains need reps too, brah

>>42412320
>>42412334
>>42414281
>not using a dedicated sock

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When it's late and no one else is around I imagine I'm a roman legionary and talk to myself in extremely basic latin that I know (from school), chant roman marching songs in pace to my lifts and imagine the different lifts are situations a legionary might face, like deadlifts being a fallen tree to lift out of the way, or something

>>42407323
looool I giv 0 fucks hhahahaha lmao. You're as bad as lool so random girls

>>42414592
>>42414580
thats true the ice is broken I just imagine she may be put off by my responses.

>>42414611
I like to imagine that I've gone back in time with an aircraft carrier and I help the Romans conquer the world when I do (cardio) rows.

>>42406995
>did heavy ass rack pulls
>start removing the plates
>forget to remove from both sides to keep the bar balance
>remove the weight from one side
>the bar suddenly shoots up and flies around the room, hitting the walls, the rack, the plates are falling down
>everyone looking at me
>say "w-whew, oops hehe"

>>42414647
All the weapons in the world wouldn't help the Romans
The problem was the leadership.
Imperial fascism works fine when you have a good Emperor, but there's no guarantee of that and there are no checks and balances to absorb the failings of a bad one.
Commodus single handedly undid the work of 100 years of excellent emperors

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>>42414515

Don't you ever look at her ever again, self defeating plerp. You had the chance most of us shits only dream of and you totally blew it.

I hope you realize squats are no substitute for a broken self image - try to accept yourself for what you are first and then maybe you deserve to talk to her again. Until then, go back into your cave of self hatred.

>>42413748
I remember this, the guy was making weird as fuck noises and shouting Ronnie Coleman chants because he thought he was alone but didn't know the girl was inside.

I had a similar situation.

>be DYEL mode and getting my 2 am workout in
>Thinking its gonna be empty (small town only like 100 people LITERALLY) I put on a tank top, compression shorts and tube socks
>wear sweats just in case
>Get to the gym and start off with lmao1pl8 squat to warm up
>Close to breaking a sweat so I decide to start slowly stripping down as I realize no one was in the gym with me
>this then begins to proceed into new taking my sweats off, revealing the tight as fuck compression shorts I had
>at this point in standing at the rack in nothing but shoes and shorts that look like my ass will eat them at any moment
>start making weird noises to hype myself up
>scream and moan during sets because fuck yes squats
>hear a slam
>wtf.jpG
>is this place haunted
>look in the mirror and slowly realize my despair
>qt latina with big ass is doing curls on a machine behind me
>she was hiding upstairs doing yoga
>at 2 am
>you bitch
>here I sat with my 20% bf and faggy clothing making eye contact in the mirror for what felt like an eternity
>the shame I felt that day
>walk into the locker room and put on sweatpants and shirt
>go back to doing squats
>she's staring the whole time
>rerack weights
>leave

Least the other anon had a happy ending...

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>every fucking /fit/ autism thread

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>>42414695
>qt latina

>>42414659
>wew oops hehe

>>42406995
>drop weights in home gym
>laugh and shout "Whoops!" so my neighbors know I didn't kill myself

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>>42414777
>mfw picturing you roaring "AAAAHAHAHAH WHOOOPSIDAISY"

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>>42406995
>can only lift weight amounts in prime numbers or else I get too disgusted and can't touch the barbell

>>42414815
When will they learn?

>>42414595
>not cumming directly into the toilet so you can clean up with one flush

>>42407053
It isn't that fun, trust me. I've been the class comedian everywhere I go and nobody takes you seriously. When you finally say serious things nobody will believe you. Everything you do is supposed to be funny in other people's eyes. You will never know love because you're just a clown. The biggest joke of all.

>>42414815
wtf that's painful to watch for all parties involved

>>42407573
I finished school but can't get a job is it autism??

>>42414611
The most autistic one so far

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>>42407383
>Sonic
>Not Sanic

Never gonna make it

>i will never do anything even close to the stories in this thread
>will still feel background anxiety next time i go to the gym

>>42414979
Do you enjoy staring down the toilet while you fap?

>>42415396
Do you enjoy staring at your dirty tube sock while you fap?

>>42414979
>not pinching off your foreskin right as you cum and then walking to the toilet

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>>42407210
>>42408092
>>42408732
>>42413772
>>42414457
>>42414537
For real? Try acting like adults for once in your lives. You arent in highschool anymore.

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>>42414979
THIS
H
I
S
>Have severe phimosis
>Cum gets stuck in foreskin for a couple seconds
>After fapping, waddle over to the toilet
>Dick is like a balloon
>Release jizz over the course of a few seconds
>Easy cleanup
>mfw Jews will never know this feel

>>42407015
>wear basketball shorts to the gym
Thinking that's autistic is pretty autistic

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>>42414592
>Social gains need reps too, brah
We're all gonna make it brehs

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>>42414685
>I hope you realize squats are no substitute for a broken self image - try to accept yourself for what you are first
But how? Fucking Shinji never taught me that. He just goes like
>lol maybe its okay for me to like myself
FOR NO FUCKING REASON. FUCK YOU, ANNO.

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>>42414373
You're a good guy anon

>>42414659
>w-whew, oops hehe
kek'd

>in between bench sets
> 11/10 bubble butt Latina (live in a Texas border town)
>Wonderful, Great, Grand
>She looks up from stretching to catch me eye fucking her
> Yikes
>Looks away
>still have a perfect view of her perfect ass in mirror to my left
>Mesmirized
>She catches me looking again
>Shit, awkward
>Looks down at floor
>Floor is mirrors, still somehow starring at her
>She's giving me a mean death stare
>Visibly disgusted at my unwavering gaze
>panic
>lay back on Bench to look up at ceiling
>Godddddammmitttt
>Ceiling is mirrors
>No escape
>OhshitwhatdoIdo?
>get idea
>Socrazyitmightjustwork
>Close Eyes
>Breathe a sigh of relief
>I'm finally free
>smile to myself as I lay down on the bench with my eyes closed with a massive erection
Meanwhile QT Latina never even noticed me

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>>42416381
you're trying too hard

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>>42407483
"I have a disorder that when things go good"

*takes of sunglasses*

"I go autistic"

>been going to same gym for like 5 years now
>always at the same time, some of the regulars just randomly started greeting me after a while
>i say always hi back
>still be aspie
>only greet them everytime, never have any conversation
>this has been going on for years with like 5 different guys

seriously i can have smalltalk with everyone now, except for in the gym where i'm still awkward as fuck

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>>42407653
>tap the plates to make sure theyre real

>>42407112
PARA-PARADIDDLE PARADIDDLE-DIDDLE

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>>42416633
>live in gated community
>one of the guards is qt niglet
>say "hey there, have a good one"
>everysingleday
>plan to go off script and chat her up
>get to the gate and brain freezes
>hey there, have a good one
mfw

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>>42407653
>drink from water bottle in between sets
What is wrong with this?
My workout is always lots of reps and sets. I'd die of thirst if I don't drink something inbetween. You guys are just autistic

>>42416723
>actually falling for bait

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>>42414466
this, although tbf most guys are so creepy it's not exactly a bad thing.

ur a good guy anon

>>42407166
Literally same problem
>stare into the ground with a 1000 yard stare in between my sets
>dont realise this crippling condition i have
>people come up and ask me if im ok
>"y-yeah, just resting haha..."

>>42407610
That niche feel.

>>42414542
This.

>>42407022
>can't decide if I want to say 'see you' or 'bye' to receptionist
>accidentally say 'bee you'

>see guy you see often
>probably make a friend
>say "hey bro whats up?"
>doesn't react or look
>other people are near
>get back in my mental hole

>>42417429
Probably just an autist as well

>>42417429
god i hate that feel. when you take a courageous step outside your comfort zone and you get shot down immediately.

>just got finished lifting, feeling good, a lot less depressed, heading to favorite food place for dem calories and protons
>girl i think is kind've cute works there, feeling confidenr enough to compliment her
>"hey i like your nose ring btw"
>she just stares at me and hands me my food and walks off
>the bad feels come back, i turn around trying to shake it off and not look visibly defeated
>2 middle aged women stopped their conversation and are visibly cringing at me
>choke back tears on the way home

why is being a normie so hard

>>42410218
>Its kind of like when you used to believe in elementary school that your mom paid everyone to hang out with you and everyone in the school was in on it
I still think this, there is just no other explanation why people liked me

>>42414408
It's a meme/b8 to make people insecure about such a stupid thing. It still clearly works

>Why is everybody laughing at me?
Every facial expression becomes a smirk, every smirk is them laughing at me.
I have to fight the feeling.

>get really nervous whenever it seems that anyone else wants to use a rack
>guy standing around behind me
>actually overcome social awkwardness and ask if he wants to work in
>he says no, but keeps standing there for like the next 10 minutes
>rush my sets and almost totally lose balance on my last couple squats

I later overcame this problem when a guy came in in a jacket (and a fucking lifting belt over it despite doing nothing that would remotely require it) during relatively busy early-afternoon hours and took up a whole squat rack literally for a seat on a bench while he did fucking six-kilo lateral raises. At least I'm not him.

>>42407483
you are not autistic, you are a fucking retarded. autism doesnt cause you to spit in someone's hair, being retarded tends to make you do that.

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>>42417716
Sometimes I feel like every attempt at social interaction with strangers ends up being a failed rep.

>>42416885
I have psychosis from my "eventful" teenage years. So i basically zone out if I'm not doing something for more than a minute and people have asked me if I need to talk or if something is bothering me.

>>42418013
Sounds like early schizo
Watch out for that, bro

>>42407483
I saw ou on the Hunter x Hunter thread, Crapikafag

>>42407483
Is this pasta? This can't be true.

Can someone tell me how you're suppose to act in the gym.? Like I've been on fit for two days and my normal high school gym routine seems like a joke. I graduated this year and I'm heading off to an actual gym.

But

/Fit/ says that the basketball gym shorts are a nono. Wtf.?

They also say that I have to shower afterwards wtf.?

/Fit/ says that I have to pay for dumbbells or something? Tipping a receptionist.? Wtf.?

Also am I suppose to bring a sportsbag or can I just walk in, do my stuff and leave.?

High school gymming was so much simpler. Like we had a supervisor and I knew everyone and surprisingly the only people that judged were womyn

Also whats with this noone is around in the gym nonsense.? Are gyms 24/7 or are they just that big.?

>>42418938
listen, kiddo. you have to know these things or else you'll get your ass BANNED from an adult gym. I don't know how things went in your high school's "gym" (read: daycare), but you better read up on your proper gym etiquette before you even attempt a workout in a REAL GYM.

>>42418938
Prepare to get either beat up/flushed if you do any of the aforementioned

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>>42407483
>>42407701
>>42414586
Cop out responses to anxiety aren't even uncommon, get help you faggots.

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>tfw cocoon mode every day
>tfw now and then get a compliment from someone because of the weight I lift
>tfw small town gym and everybody knows each other
>tfw nobody invites me to shit
>tfw not even part of the Whats App group

How can I get people to like me and get to be part of the group?

>>42419266
They think you prefer being a loner because you've been acting like an autist. Ask them to join the WhatsApp thing and you'll start to be more included.

>>42417238
actually made me laugh aloud

>>42419266
Join clubs.

>>42410198
Keep one side of your mouth closed and talk through the other side

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>>42406995
sometimes when no one is looking i run really fast on the treadmill and cry... idk it just feels good sometimes man...

>>42419299
I don't act that much like an autist, desu, I talk with people when I have to, small talk and what not, help everybody who asks for help, hell, I don't even like to listen to music in case someone ask me something. While I'm not an asshole, I do agree I'm not that much of a social kind of guy, maybe I do seem to be kind of a loner.

Help me based anon.

>>42407015
I browse 4chan between sets

>>42412320
.>not cumming in your own mouth for dat protein

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>>42407653
>tap the plates to make sure theyre real

>>42419460
No memes, cumming a lot is a significant loss of Zinc and Vitamin A.
So much so that if you cum at least once a day, you may need supplements (if you don't recycle your cum into your proton shakes)

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>>42407022
>receptionist: have a good workout
>me: you too.

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>>42417238
>jurst bee u
>not another person

>>42407259
Be me 3 months ago and my autism still bares the scars.
> 3yrs post high school
> be getting my shit to leave
> bloke comes up taps me and says "Hey, you're, Anon right? I think we had class together, how'ya been?"
> "good, you?"
> "same, well see ya around"
> ICanNeverComeBack.jpg

>>42410069
no eyebrows?

>>42406995
That's not autisitc. You're just trying to show people you didn't mean it by acknowledging it. Don't worry about it, just try not to drop weights if there's people around.

>>42408138
good ol daxflame

>>42408434
hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha

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>>42408809
JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU FERN GUY?!

If not you sound like someone whom goes to my gym every third day.

>always mumbles
>runs hands through ferns on a regular basis before and after getting on treadmill
>lifts heavy then runs then supersets

You're gonna make it, but I also low key sometimes think you're going to kill yourself when you superset dude.

>>42414373
You're a damn decent human being.

>>42408138
LMAO i actually dont know if this is real, but its so funny

>>42411678
I do literally the exact same thing

>>42417716
Don't hit on girls that are working, especially not in service where they're paid to be nice to you, you'd think that's common knowledge by now.

>>42419350
>I talk with people when I have to
Yea you're a loner 100%

>>42407483
>>I have a disorder that when things go good
>>I go autistic
me too man, but you're mistaking autism with fucking aspd
kill yourself immediately

>>42415410
My nigga

Not autistic. Just have alot of feelings

>beautiful latina girl is oneitis.
>be white aryan.
>want white kids.
>hate the idea of brown kids.
>yet love the one who helps destroy my race.
>begin to hate self.
>work out all the time imagining fighting in race war
>try to devise plan to have white kids, yet get Qt latina
>no results. No God ideas.
>go for it.jpg
>get rejected
>feel relief for years knowing I can now have white kids comfortably
>start talking again
>finally on good terms again.
>repeat.

Maybe I should just forget reproduction and dedicate my life to the 14 words.

>>42421195
LatinX are white
They're just shitty whites
Teach your kid full western whiteness and he's Aryan as fuck

>>42421240
>LatinX
wat is this

>>42407022
say take care no matter what they say to you

>>42421195
What are you 14? How do people like this function?

>>42420230
It's weird. Sometimes he has eyebrows and sometimes he doesn't.

>it's a small fart on every rep set

>>42407115
fuck yehhh

>>42414636

just never directly bring it up again. eventually she may ask, but dont outright offer an explanation.

a good thing to do is simply introduce yourself. "hey there. sorry I was rude the other day. my name is anon what's yours?"

it'll serve as a good enough way to reopen the convo without seeming like you're turbo autistic

>>42407435
I'm dead

>>42410222
Seconded, Skrewdriver gets old after a while

>>42421195
>people actually think like this
>not autistic
You need help if this how you actually think like this. That or you are underaged as fuck.

>>42421980
Some... may sayyy im an autist. Bum* bum*... But I'm not the only onne...

14/88

>>42417738
Lol ik that's not the case cuz my parents are poor af. Guess you rich spergs don't know that feel

>>42418938
i can image your first day there
>do quarter rep squats
>get fined $5 by the gym judge
good luck

>>42419266
maybe you are already a inside joke on the whatsapp group, so they can't add you at this point :(

>>42407053

It is, because I lmao at your life breh

>>42407435

this is fucking hilarious

>>42407483

you know that episode of Seinfeld where George just does the opposite of everything his instincts tell him to do and his life turns out great?

yeah.

you should try that.

>>42407821

this can`t be real..... right?

>>42408434

>stop right there

oh fuck

>runs on treadmill without tv on
>Heavy metal blasting as I stare into the dark reflections.

>has to constantly go across the gym to the toilet on leg day
>calf raises make me feel like I'm about to shit myself for some reason

>stares at store every time I enter the gym
>take an extra long time looking for my card in my wallet
>don't want to make eye contact with the receptionists
>don't talk to me I'm too skinny to by your friend.

>>42408702

this is fucking hilarious

>>42417238
Kekd hard

>>42414373

Lawful Good is the hardest path to walk but the most rewarding

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>do weighted dips
>get reminded of this guy and start laughing to myself
thanks /fit/

>>42407112
been slowly going trough wilcoxon's in the past year like this

>>42414753

all i want is a latina braphog gf

>ay, me estomago...
>BRAPPPP
>lo siento, anon...

diamonds

>>42407483
You're mental.

>>42417716

wtf what a cunt

it's not like you commented on her ass or anything

that one wasn't on you anon

>>42418938
nice bait, but if not:
never listen to /fit/

>>42421195
>get aryan wife
>have aryan kids with her
>kill aryan wife
>get latina wife
>???
>profit

>catch my cleans on the way down because don't want to offend anyone
>even though I get a weird nerve pain in my inner shoulder sometimes, like hitting your funny bone

>>42407623
Stronglifts app is really good for this, you can change the exercises and shit on it so you don't have to ne doing stronglifts

>>42423159
Don't fucking do that, you piece of shit. I clean nearly 3 fucking plates, you think I care what some chucklefuck thinks when I drop it? You're going to fucking hurt yourself

>>42422752
>>calf raises make me feel like I'm about to shit myself for some reason

so much this, only when I do high reps though

>>42414063
>Alpha

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>>42413748
dis

>>42408702
Accidental alpha

>>42421195
>not autistic, just have a lot of feelings
>have a lot of feelings
This is the most autistic post I've read today. Congratulations.

>>42413944
I count in Italian under my breath in different intervals and then go backwards. Then I do Italian tounge twisters. (Italy/USA dual citizenship, but my Italian has been getting rusty)

>>42412401
B R U T A L
R
U
T
A
L

>>42416381
>back of eyelids is also mirror
>somehow see her reflection

>>42421195
U r legit autism kys

>>42406995
i used to smoke a cigarette inbetween groups as example if i had chest and biceps in a day i'd finish chest go smoke then do arms
i had some logic in my head like yo bro the body must cool off a lil'...

>>42414305
Had the same story though some DYEL guy in the glasses helped me to escape. Strangely I haven't seen him again.

>>42414489
Sorry for you making cube

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>>42407495
/fit/ "autism" is much different from actual autism. don't use the term irl like you would here or you'll look like an autist

i've learned to count in like 15 different languages off the top of my head. only 1-20 so i can count reps

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>Going to same gym for a year now
>at the push up bar I start doing leg push up abs ? don't know the name
>some 40 y milf starts doing some shit cable exercise
>I instinctively shift a bit to the right since there's a mirror in front and I don't want to be
right in front of her
>when I finish my set she comes to me and says '' Am I bothering you ?I hope you
don't think I wanted you to shift to the right''
>'' uhm it's okay no problem '' *smile like a retard*
>She smiles and leaves and I think to myself '' fucking idiot you should have told her you didn't
think that and that you were just making space for her since everyone likes to watch themselves
in the mirror performing an exercise''

>Some other day
>I'm wearing my shirt inside out
>Same Milf approaches me '' S-Sorry...am I bothering you ? I just wanted to tell you your shirt
is inside out ''
>'' I place my hand on my shirt '' oh r-right... thanks ''
> '' we women notice these things " she says " yeah, thanks ! '' I say

> Catch her on the way out
> '' hey... thanks for warning me "
> " Ah it's nothing, I see you're wearing a shirt the right way now ahah''
> '' yeah.. guys don't really mind wearing shirts inside out right ?"
> " yeah it doesn't bother me, I just wanted to finish the set ''
>we get to where there's 2 paths, one to the elevator to a parking lot and one
to the outside
> '' y-you taking the elevator ? "
> '' No, I'm walking home, I live nearby ''
> '' oh okay... have a nice day ! ''