Whale Hunting Stories

>>42356094

The whaling continues...

>get home with her
>time for some good stuff
>things get blurry from here
>remember when she took her shirt off, I felt a wave of moisture hitting me
>the fat rolls were stacked like tires
>2 late by this point
>dive in there
>wish I had a wetsuit
>remember specifically going down for ye old lickaroo
>til a whiff of something hit me
>my already precarious erection wavered in front of the stench
>I pull back up gracefully by pretending to kiss her
>OK, I can do this
>finally start fucking her
>this part is ok, vagina is vagina
>can't quite cum because of her pig-like squeals combined with the loud squeaking of the bed
>have a near transcendent experience where I can almost see myself in 3rd person
>might have been the pill I took but I digress
>finally cum after 50 minutes of humping the rock
>try to get her to leave quickly
>mates are right outside the door as im walking out
>laughingbros.jpg
>use all my remaining strength to get her into a cab
>head to bed thinking ive reached the end
>how wrong I was

Part 2/4

>>42356149
Go on...

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>>42356149

This is where it gets heated up.

>next day, mates are shitting on me
>jokes on them, at least I got laid
>until suddenly I start getting messages on my phone
>fuck, my drunken self thought it was a good idea to add her on facebook
>she’s all like “let’s meet again, where do you want to go?”
>bitch please, I’ve had enough linking with my japanese ancestry
>still, don’t want to be an ass as I’m a “nice guy” and try to let her down gently
>mate tries to warn me to just unfriend and block her but no, I’m a better man
>tell her I enjoyed last night while subtly implying it was JUST last night
>she start talking gibberish about how she got locked out or some shit out of her place
>asks where my place was again
>by this point I’m sweating thinking she’ll find me
>tell her again, it was great but I just want to enjoy my holiday and she should do the same
>she goes all quiet, think it’s all ok
>NOPE.whale
>every night after that she messages asking where I am and telling me her plans
>literally had to change the club one night since she told me she’d be in the one we wanted to go to
>3 days of the trip left, i fear running into the beast again
>walk around town constantly looking over my shoulder
>ready to sprint at the first sign of danger


Part 3/4

Pic related: one of the many walls of text she sent me

>>42356213

>finally it’s time to leave
>go to the airport, move through security and get to the gate
>suddenly, I feel trembling through the floor
>my heart sinks and I can feel a shiver running up my spine
>turn my head around and see her
>wtf did she follow me here
>thankfully no but the gate next to mine took her home and fate had it that I would face my final challenge
>duck through the seats like a ninja, mates think I’m retarded
>can’t tell them, the risk of betrayal is too great
>find a nice spot behind a advertisement panel
>all good till I have to embark
>know I’ll be visible and vulnerable
>decide to wait till the last minute and make a dash for it
>people get on, final call on the speaker
>THIS IS MY TIME
>run for the entrance
>her whale sense must have tingled as she immediately turned towards me
>she literally raises her hands and shouts my name “ANOOON”
>I raise my speed, adrenaline coursing through my veins
>she starts running and tries to block my way
>with the dejavu song in my head I turn around and avoid her as the wheels of my luggage screech against the floor
>finally I make it to the counter
>I make eye contact with the guy manning it and can see the light of understanding as he quickly scans my boarding pass and doesn’t even check my passport
>the doors close behind me and I can hear one final screech as she comes to a halt and start screaming “YOU CAN’T BLOW ME OFF LIKE THIS”
>fly off into the sunset
>I mite be retarded
>probably broke multiple international treaties protecting large sea mammals

Part 4/4

That’s my whale adventure guys. Moral of the story: don’t add on facebook and if you’re gonna let her down do it hard and quick. After I unfriended her she continued to message me till I blocked her calling me a cunt and a faggot. Pretty kek in the end.

How big was she? Post picture

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>>42356251

like this, ripped it off her facebook. She doesnt post shit with her body.

Forgot to mention she was also married.

>>42356094
That's that picture of snacks (allegedly), right? Haven't seen that shit in ages

>>42356366
If she was married msg the fucking whale's husband anon... Don't let a bro be cucked by hambeast

>not get laid in half a year
>match fatty on tinder by liking everyone then filtering
>getting desperate by now
>she's in an open relationship, her bf lives next door
>cuck him hard while he's across the wall from us
>she starts messaging me about her not feeling the same about him
>finally dumps him
>nope the fuck out and block her
>tries to add me on fb
>NOPE.jpg

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>>42356094
>>42356094

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>>42356366
>>42356451
>>42356251

more pics of her.

I'll try finding the husband.

>>42356516

Mirin calves fuark

>>42356457
dodged a bullet

Fucking lmao. Had a good laugh, thanks OP

>>42356094
I don't remember too well, but was it confirmed he was Snacks?

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>>42356451
>>42356516

OK, I found the husband. Looks normal enough, will message him now.

>>42356611
who the fuck is snacks?

>>42356249
kek'd, thanks for the story

>>42356366
>>42356516
Jezus fucking christ what were you thinking? Im no chad either but atleast I try to keep my hookups above 6/10. I'm surprised anyone could get hard from that thing.

So I'm wondering, what made you do it? Surely can't be just alcohol and peer pressure right?

>>42356516
Jesus OP you have no fucking standards

>>42356640

enjoying your summer newfriend?

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>>42356366

>>42356640
kek, underage faggot detected

>>42356458
this shit will never not be good.

>>42356395
yup thats him fucking a whale

>>42356516

Yikes. Anon. Come on.

>>42356642
no prob man, pls contribute if you ever whaled.

>>42356662
>>42356663
Well desu, she kinda looked better in the club. I was really smashed and thought pussy is pussy(hadn't gotten laid in ages either) . Can't be that bad rite?

But I guess expecting basic hygiene from a whale was just too much...

>>42356760
>pussy is pussy

A common mistake, but usually a mistake one only makes once.

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Jesus Christ. I thought whaling being a dangerous endeavor was a thing of the past. You had a narrow escape their lad. God speed.

>>42356736
Man I miss that guy

>>42356760
I dont know man, I know booze and not getting laid on the regular do weird things to your head but shit man. I can look past some fat if a girl has a pretty face but as far as I can tell, that's not the case.

Anyway, I have a somewhat relatable story, I'll type it out.

>>42356366
Nice teeth

>>42356640
Cancer

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>>42356633
>>42356451

He still hasn't seen it. Keep the thread alive till then.

>>42356874
Go for it man, I'm still processing what I did.

>>42356970
kek at least you're a decent human being

>>42356970

Oh shit, monitoring this thread now.

Typical britshit behaviour all around desu.

>>42356676
>>42356694
>>42356725
>>42356962

yeah im not fucking 40, is it so hard to share? or is being an "oldfag" all about clinging onto old shit no one remembers

>>42356970

link him this thread

>talk to sloot on tinder
>one day get a message "come over today anon"
>one way trip to bone town so I get on bus (poor fag)
>end up getting lost in some shitty part of town cause of shit directions from her
>end up walking for 30 minutes to her house, raining cause its scotland
>power of the boner keeps me going, getting hard thinking about cumming on that cute face
>get to hers, go to back garden due to request of secrecy
>"is that you anon?"
>bitch who the fuck else is gonna be standing in your fucking garden
>dog starts barking at me from house beside
>at this rate I'm gonna get fucking done for trespassing
>been waiting 5 minutes
>for that five minutes all I hear is crashing in the house
>no idea wtf is going on, texting on phone
>door opens, look up
>it a fucking landwhale, been catfished
>I enter the lair of the beast anyway
>talk for 30 mins, I try to leave
>she grabs my hand and gets topless, I feel nauseated
>get hard eventually from handjob
>doing it doggy, I start to cry with shame, tears stream down my face
>"whats wrong anon" she tries to turn to look
>I push her 200 pound fat landwhale body onto the pillow, forcing her head down onto the bed
>She tries to get up to breathe, my triceps are too strong
>I scream functional strength like an autist as I pound her with anger and shame, all the while pushing her down
>every part of her jiggles as she suffocates
>I cum inside her and leave shortly after

Got a text from her later asking what functional strength was and that it was the best sex she ever had. I blocked her and never spoke to her again.

I ended up going to McDonalds to eat comfort food and invited a friend over to drink, I've not told anyone about this. I'm so ashamed.

>>42357122

the idea is you lurk moar instead of shitting up the board with everyone having to answer the same questions over and over again
or just google it

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>>42357122
That's what being old is about
>memories only you know
>a time that only exists in your head
>emotions that have mostly faded but somewhat linger
>friends and family have moved on or passed away.
>if unlucky, your S.O has passed away

feels bad man.

>>42356970
The suspense is killing me, like that husband is probably killing her right now

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>>42357158
googling snacks just shows food
pic is the result for "/fit/ snacks"

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>>42357141
Thanks for sharing anon. This is getting therapeutic.

>>42356458
FINALLY!

I /r/'d this a couple weeks ago and no one know what the fuck I was talking about

ENDIT: Enjoy the reddit gold kind stranger

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>>42356970
>>42356994
>>42357001

HE ACCEPTED IT!

more will come

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>>42356970
monitoring

>>42357141
>I scream functional strength
Jfc, I'm in literal tears right now.

>>42357209
Lurk /f/, weirdly enough that's where I've found the most reference to him, I guess it has something to do with them preserving an old medium from his era and therefore having .swf's about him

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>>42357282
wow, they were divorcing.

this is kinda annoying though, will I get called to court or some shit as a witness?

>>42357282
OH SHIT!
Good for you man, he deserves the truth about that gross (inside and out) fucking lard beast.

>>42357334
Nah, if he's got a good divorce lawyer she is absolutely fucked with just your convos. Civil court isn't like criminal court-- much lower burden of proof.

>>42357141
>one way trip to bone town so I get on bus
My sides, this was the funniest part for me

>>42357334
this killed my boner desu, i wanted it to end with her crying for forgiveness

>>42357334
>in some states there is still fault-based divorce that — when proven — can impact support or property division) an adulterous relationship can seriously reduce (or even eliminate) the obligation of one spouse to pay

husbando hit the jackpot

>>42357334
You just saved this man's life anon, your mistake is another man's treasure

>>42357397
damn, what a beautiful story we're seeing unfold

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>>42357334

>>42357420
someone (preferably a faggot that doesnt browse reddit) screencap this for future fps or /fit/ hummus threads

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>>42357334

>>42356640
I've been on fit for years never heard of him

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>>42357334
GOD'S JUSTICE BE DONE!

>>42356366
I muttered to myself "Ohh my god..." when I saw this pic. Completely disgusted.

>>42356760
Not really man, fat girls are repulsive to me. I guess I could go with a chubby one, but so far I've porked really cute girls, which suprises me since I used to be super beta nerd even some 5 years ago.

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>>42357334

More convo with husband

>>42357166
Fuck man, im holding back tears.
I know this isn't a feels thread, but I need to vent. How come when I think back to good times with my pals, I feel mostly nostalgia rather than joy.

We still meet up regularly but I feel like we're slowly drifting apart since we graduated from high school. I'm a pretty social guy and have made some decent friends at uni but they're nothing like my mates, I fucking love those guys. I hang out with new friends but I have to either force myself to have fun or get shitfaced drunk. Meanwhile I feel like a fucking faggot for being such a bitch about it and that I should just enjoy the now and stop desperately clinging to the "golden days".

I haven't truly been happy since my graduation. I'm alright, not depressed or anything, but nowhere near as happy as I used to be. Only times when I do is when I hang out with my pals or when I'm working out with one of them.

I feel like I should just move on but I can't, litteraly. I should move out of my parents house but I can't because of the old life I'm clinging to and the fear of missing out a spontaneous meetup with my buds.

I also don't have a girlfriend, maybe I just crave affection?

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>>42357531
She'll ride that dick all the way to the homeless shelter

>>42357166
oh the feels god how do I prepare for this

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>>42357557
>I haven't truly been happy since my graduation
I wish I could've appreciated the time before more. Retrospectively it was the best time of my life and I didn't even enjoy it.

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>>42357334

Anon,

I just want you to know that I had a shit day. I got into an argument with my superior, couldn't solve a problem I was working on that delayed my progress on something very important and I got home late and had to go to the gym tired and eat really late. I was ready to go to bed in a bad mood.

I was just browsing this thread for laughs at your expense, but the reaction you got here from the divorced husband warms my cold heart and makes me feel just a tiny bit better about the world. Sometimes there is justice, and out there there are men who look out for the interests of complete strangers - even if just out of spite for their fat adulterous wives. Thank you, a good friend of mine is going through ugly divorce; please give this man as much evidence as you can so he doesn't get double-screwed by this whore.

Today OP was OK. We are all going to make it.

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>>42357531
>>42357531
my paint skills can't keep up.

He's basically just asking for all the info. Sounds like my whaling did some good in the end.

>>42357141
oh my this thread. don't worry friend, your secret is safe with us. godspeed

>>42357609
>I feel screwed too
Kek

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>>42357334
Dayumn son. Amazing plot twist.

>>42357609
>I feel screwed as well
anon...

>>42356821
>missing snacks

>>42357624
you know black books? maybe there are some decent people on /fit/ after all

>meet girl off tinder, her photos are all her face at weird angles
>She's fucking fat, I feel my car tilt when she steps in the car
>Take her to restaurant, people staring and I feel so ashamed and pretend she's my sister
>Fuck her in the car, big tits but so fucking nasty
>She keeps texting me after about how she might be pregnant

And that's how I lost my v card anons

>>42357557
Wew, an anon I can sorta help. Same situation, (stuck to old friends, didn't enjoy new friends). Don't cut off things with your old friends, but you do need accept that your paths in life are separating. You need to move out, set up a new friend group, and realize THIS IS IT, there is nothing else - if you dont have new friends in the new city, you're gonna be lonely af.

I moved away from my old friends in uni, it took time to get a new friend group, and to stop latching onto my old friends, but now I have a healthy balance. I still love my old friends, but my new friends take up most of my free time. Make sure to go back and visit old friends, and have a good catchup with them. Nothing feels better than a good catchup with an old mate.

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>>42357642
I fucking LOVE Black Books.

Even went to see both Dylan Moran and Bill Bailey live.

>>42357557
My best friend from high school ignored my request to meet up sometime, he just started ignoring me out of the blue for no reason about a year ago. Asked in April, he read it but never replied.

Tore at me bad, I must of seemed desperate but I wasn't. I made new friends since then but wanted that connection from growing up you know? Shits hard lad

Problem she porked/cheated while they filed for divorce, so her defense can be they were already separated, depends on a judge she can still get good chunk of money out of the husband, eps if he was provider the years they were living together.

>>42357665
I've only seen Dylan Moran live, haven't had a chance to see Bill yet, although I've seen recordings and I would love to if he ever comes to my town. He's a brilliant musician.

>>42357334

>Cheat on your husband on vacation, have no morals
>Man you cheat with has morals and contacts husband
This will likely come out of left field for her.
You should really block and filter out all communication with her and make sure she doesn't know your address, phone number or place of work, btw, sounds like a vengeful bitch.

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>>42357665
HA! I've seen Bill, yet to go to Dylan's show. The tickets are always gone in seconds. Might have to visit England to see him.

>>42357591
"While experiencing happiness, we have difficulty in being conscious of it. Only when the happiness is past and we look back on it do we suddenly realize - sometimes with astonishment - how happy we had been."

Nikos Kazantzakis from zorba the Greek

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>>42357609
>I feel screwed as well

>>42357634
>not missing how the mods in general acted in the early days compared to now

>>42357609
Now that we know she was cheating, I think even the waiter she mentioned here >>42356213 got some whaling action.

>>42357609
>i feel screwed as well
>autism intesifies.jpg

>>42356094
>>42356094
>>42356094
>>42356094

SOMEONE ARCHIVE THIS

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Great thread OP

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>>42357609

OK this is the final post. It looks like he's going to be just fine.

and I DID feel screwed (pun intended)

this whole thread made me feel a lot better about the whole thing. Maybe Whaling anonymous should be a thing.

>>42357760
Holy shit send him your greentext

>>42357720
desu you're right, site feels ded now

>>42357760
You a good man anon

>>42357692
>You should really block and filter out all communication with her and make sure she doesn't know your address, phone number or place of work, btw, sounds like a vengeful bitch.
This, OP listen to this anon. This bitch already has no scruples, create as much distance between you two as possible.

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>>42357141
>what is functional strength?
I hope you told her to read the sticky

>>42357760
Just send him the greentext lel.

>>42357684
Where did you see Dylan?

>>42357780
>>42357692
Thanks lads, will block. husband said to not communicate with her too.

>>42357775
>>42357808
I kinda don't want to send it since I wrote it in a humorous way. Also the pics with her and him (even censored)

youre doing God's work anon. thanks for this thread

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This is going down in history.

>>42357652
>>42357668

Thanks anons, glad I'm not alone atleast. I know I have to move on but everytime we meet up it just pulls me right back. Last week the lot of us went on holiday and it felt like home, I felt happy. Now I'm back and the emptyness hits extra hard. Anyway, I have some decent friends at uni which I'm meeting up with tomorrow, but honestly I'd rather stay at home and watch a movie or something. I'll Just go and I'll probably enjoy myself, but still.

>>42357668
Shit.. That's harsh man, any idea why? You might find out something through mutual friends

>>42357775
holy fuck my sides

OP: Do this and this thread becomes gold and it will be remembered in Internet history.

Op, you polished that turd into a diamond. Well done ya filthy sailor

>>42357732
seconded, on my phone now so can't do it

>OP literally living through the modern day iteration of Moby Dick

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>>42357334
You freed a man from cuckold. I commend you bruh.

>>42356094
yo include me in the screenshot

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>>42357871
>literally living through the modern day iteration of Moby Dick
>literally

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>>42357822
You saved half of this man´s entire life´s savings and brought about some sweet fucking justice. If you die tomorrow you would still have given a greater contribution of good to this world than most.

Also, make sure you stay in touch with the husbando. You HAVE to greentext whatever happens in the court.

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>>42357334
Oh shit

>>42357931
what's wrong sweetie?

>>42357821
Queen Elizabeth theatre in Vancouver, B.C. Holy fuck he was so goddamn funny I swear I nearly peed.

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>>42357760
Haha this thread is getting good!

include me in screencap

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This is fucking incredible

>>42356676
In defense of him, Snacks is old as all fuck. Last time I even heard his name was like 4 years ago at least (mind you I stopped going to /b/ like 9 years ago at least). Plus he was just a shitty mod. A little different than not knowing who Moot is for example.

In the year and a half of being on /fit/, I've never even heard anyone referenced except Moot and /fit/ trips.

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OP my friend you carry a heart of justice with you

>>42357334
You're a good person anon. I hope your proof helps save this man.

Maybe you gained a good buddy too. Offer to work out with him or go for a beer.

>>42357334

Anon, you can single handily save this guy from getting screwed over by this whore. You can single handily save this guys life. You should seriously feel good about yourself, this almost NEVER happens nowadays and will end up having a very positive effect on this poor guys life.

>>42357334
>>42356213
>this expositional texting
>rapid husband response
>unlikely airport scenario
Belaruse?

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>Sophomore year of uni
>experimenting with nofap
>became super horny and desperate after a 2 week dry spell so I resorted to tinder
>match with this fatty, literally had to do no effort of my part to get laid
>her boobs literally looked like moobs (think boogie but even smaller)
>she was a fridge
>she had fresh red stretch marks
>we made out and she smelled of spoiled milk
>she jerked me off before we penetrated
>she was unsurprsingly a dead fish, and I came in 35 secs just to end the agony
>after I left my dorm, she proceeded to ask if this is a one time thing or if this will happen again
"We'll see"
>after I left her dorm, I proceeded to spit for 30 minutes after and I literally even washed my mouth with soap
>proceeded to block all forms of communication with her
>still have PTSD to this day

Nofap is a fucking meme guys. Pls don't make the same mistake I did. NEVER fuck a hambeast, no matter what.

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Put me in the screencap

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What's going on in this thr-

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>>42356094
i kekd so hard
put me in the screencap bois

>>42357334
>>42358141
>this might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
kek

>>42357775

I literally kek'd so loud I think the entire library heard.

>>42358187
Furthermore
>archetypal agents
>similar texting patterns in convo

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>>42358187
>>42358249

>>42358174
it might end up not helping at all she was divorcing him already

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>in dry spell
>Meet girl from younger days
>Fit to fat in 4 years or less
>Says she wants to be face fucked
>Oblige
>continues for some time out of boredom
>She gets back with ex
>Call her and her friends all fatties until she blocked me on FB.
Thank God.Jpeg

>>42357952
this 100%

>>42358300
help him not getting the short end of the divorce

>>42358188
I'm on day 32
>look at qts
>brain registers what I see
>dick is broke.exe

It's frustrating as fuck. No benefits at all but i've gone too far to stop now.

From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned whale.

For once OP was not a faggot.

Threads like this are why this board is the only decent board left on the site.

Contributing to thread. Good job OP

>in uni
>drinking in the kitchen after late evening gym
>alcohol kills gains but I’m too lonely
>say fuck it, let’s do something about it
>open tinder and get swiping
>I actually match with a girl and the pic looks decent 6/10
>get suspicious, no body shot and it was that weird angle that fat girls do to hide their fat
>but I’m desperate for some so how bad can it be
>we message a bit back n forth and I try my best line “Want some pepperoni pizza?”
>it fucking works
>take cab to her place, far as fuck had to pay 25 pounds on fare, this better be worth it
>knock on the door of this old dilapidated house
>she answers and she’s fat
>like seriously fat, pic must have been years old
>have half of a mind to leave but she quickly grabs my hand and leads me to the couch
>don’t even have time to think, she pushes me down then starts undressing
>by this point my mind is spinning trying to find a way out of here
>the top comes off and I know I have to do something
>scream loudly “GOTTA TAKE A PISS” as I push her off
>quickly got up and skedaddled out of there
>she was probably the most I’ve ever benched in my life

Never trust tinder lads.

>>42358369
"And he piled upon the whale's white hump the sum of all the rage and hate felt by his whole race. If his chest had been a cannon, he would have shot his heart upon it."

https://smab.co.uk/the-effect-of-spousal-behaviour-on-financial-settlements-and-legal-costs/

>Individuals filing for divorce on the grounds of adultery or unreasonable behaviour often think the ‘bad’ behaviour of a spouse will lead to a more favourable financial outcome for the ‘injured’ party. This is a common misconception. In reality the reasons for the divorce are generally irrelevant to the court and will not influence the outcome of the ancillary relief proceedings (when the marital assets are divided).

Surely he would know this?

>>42358249
>>42358187
yeah... no american says "have you got proof"

funny story though.

>>42358442
What a fucking great novel

"But in each event – in the living act, the undoubted deed – there, some unknown but still reasoning thing puts forth the mouldings of its features from behind the unreasoning mask. If man will strike, strike through the mask! How can the prisoner reach outside except by thrusting through the wall? To me, the white whale is that wall, shoved near to me. Sometimes I think there’s naught beyond. But ’tis enough. He tasks me; he heaps me; I see in him outrageous strength, with an inscrutable malice sinewing it. That inscrutable thing is chiefly what I hate; and be the white whale agent, or be the white whale principal, I will wreak that hate upon him. Talk not to me of blasphemy, man; I’d strike the sun if it insulted me"

>>42358482
prenup?

>>42358506
/lit/ confirmed in this thread

>>42358506
>>42358442
/fit/ confirmed for /lit/

>>42358187
It's a little *too* perfect, ifyouknowwhatimsayin'.

>>42358506
>What a fucking great novel
The Stat Trek movie was a novel first?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeGMHbK4NlA&t=3m25s

..

Just kidding, Anon.

>>42358516
Aren't binding in the UK. Besides, I don't think they're all too prevalent.

>terribly horny in freshman year of college
>dry spell like no other
>get recommended backpage, 'find a cutie whore it's easy pussy'
>find what appears to be attractive latina
>ball up to meet her at very crummy motel
>overweight white women calls me into a room
>closes door behind me, latina is very overweight and clearly used someone else's pictures
>too scared/horny to back out
>pay this fat mexican whore $100 to halfassedly poke at her smelly vagina for 20 minutes
>'c-can I have some of my money back because I didn't finish'
>where do you think you are kid
>ride the shuttle back to my dorm, sob in the shower for 2 hours

I'm on the righteous path with Jesus now, but good God that was a rough patch in my life. Stay away from backpage, and remember: Loving sex for procreation > nofap > noporn >fapping >suicide by truck > fat mexican backpage whore

>>42357557
Anon I'm 30 and I'll tell you this doesn't change. At 20 I was nostalgic for high school. At 25 I was nostalgic for college. Now I just accept those times are done. Enjoy the good ones you're having now and try to make the best of every day.

>>42357714
That's making it into the new years comic

>>42358728
i'm glad someone else is on the noble and righteous path. i'm disappointed in all of these degenerates that think it's okay to have sex without the intention of bringing life into the world.

>>42358834
Word. i struggled with alcohol for a long while, made horrible choices, almost brought life in without intention. But I'm aiming to lock down this very sweet, genuine girl who's super in touch with her spirituality. It's such a massively positive change to enjoy life with someone who has faith.

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>>42358834

How do you define "sex" ?
Is a handjob sex ?
Is watching each other masturbate sex ?

>It's off topic, but I replied.

>>42358891
Doing overtly sexual things with someone you aren't married to. Direct physical contact of genitals. Don't jerk eachother off, don't watch eachother jerk off, don't jerk off period. Sex is so SO so much more rewarding when you wait for it. The buildup is awesome. Just be sure you marry someone who you're going to want to fuck for a couple decades. The point is to encourage pair bonding and raising kids in a stable home.

>>42357760
You sent him the greentext didnt you?

>>42358411
or just know when they're fat

Its obvious when they dont show their body/upper chest

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>>42358939
So as a fag I can never have sex I enjoy?

>>42359239
If you're obeying the bible you can never have gay sex

OP has inspired me. I have one whaling story.

>6 year gf, model tier (literally modeled) breaks up with me junior year of college.
>Have to call jeweler to tell them they can take the ring I have on hold and put it back on market. (very rare, very special emerald I was saving up over 2 years for)
>Depressed
>Don't go out and talk to anyone for 4 months
>Just workout, go to school and cry
>Finally after 5-6 months get horny again.
>Download Tinder
>Start matching like crazy, I'm aesthetic but it was weird for me because this was fucking new
>Match with this girl who lives an hour or so away
>Get her snapchat
>She sends me her pussy and a bunch of nudes within like 2 days
>Summer roles around
>She tells me she's going to my Uni
>btw her Tinder said she was 23, that's how old I was
>We decide to leave eachother alone for the summer, do our own things and meet up when school starts
>Senior year
>She hits me up
>Agree to meet at this bar
>She calls me screaming for me to pick her up, tell her my car make and model
>Woman jumps into car and just starts talking about nothing
>Really trying to figure out who the fuck this bitch is
>Ask her
>She tells me it's the bitch from snap and that I was texting earlier
>She has gained approximately 60 lbs over the Summer.
>Decide fuck it, haven't had sex in 6 months
>We go to another bar and she starts making out with me in like 5 minutes
>We decide to leave bar
>Get to my car and when we sit down she whips out my cock and starts sucking
>Says she wants to go to back seat
>We do
>Pull her skirt up, not liking what I'm seeing.
>I'm used to a fucking gorgeous bitch with a body like Ratjakowski
>Start whacking it furiously to get hard
>Finally get hard
>Close my eyes and slam away for like 5 minutes
>Can't take it anymore
>Tell her I have to take a piss
>I go around corner and ex texts me "u up"

>>42357166
My best friend's girlfriend of 5+ years and her mother were just killed by a drunk illegal mexican driver who had 3 prior DUI's and a suspended license. He was going to marry that girl, he had a stack of cash in his safe for a ring and everything. Fuck california. RIP Raegan and Raeleen, taken too soon

Fuck

>>42359239
stop being a fag, fag

>>42359333
>Get back to car, bitch is still on all 4s in back seat. Tell her I need to take her home
>Bring her to dorms, she freaks out
>Tells me she can't find her fake
>Ask her how old she is
>Tells me she turned 18, 3 days ago
>Asks me if I want to come up
>Tell her I had fun but gotta go, it's an emergency
>Go meet up with ex, fuck her
>After we are done, ex tells me to leave
>Feel like garbage all around walking down the street at night.

Fatty ended up trying to call me and text me for weeks after that, just kept making up excuses and finally said I'm not interested.

She tried again a few months after.

I proceeded to keep fucking my ex while slowly becoming more jaded.
Ex was cheating on new boyfriends with me but didn't want to be with me.
I started getting wrecked nightly and fucking strangers 3-4 times a week.
Fucked 3 of her ex friends just because.

Finally cut off all contact with ex for about a year then she called me and asked for us to get back together. Told her no and she got engaged 6 months after that.

>>42359333
nice trips, sad story.

>>42358188
Why the fuck do women do this. Why do they lie there completely frozen and think it was an enjoyable experience just because she graced you with her hole? Do they actually enjoy themselves despite not making one noise or are they just looking for an orbiter to provide for them?

>>42358939

is this bait?

>>42359399
Are you a sinner?

The answer is no to your question.

>>42356249
>>with the dejavu song in my head I turn around and avoid her as the wheels of my luggage screech against the floor
DEJA VU
I'VE JUST BEEN IN THIS PLACE BEFORE
HIGHER ON THE STREET AND I KNOW IT'S MY TIME TO GO

>>42359403

rather be a sinner than a lamer m8

>>42359403
>Living your only life devoted to a fairy tale
kek

>>42359457
>living your "only life" and not adhering to the hope and promise of another
>"living" a shitty self-damaging life for your own sake and not trying to improve yourself for the betterment of your family, church, and world

you must be a very sad person, my dude

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>>42359512
>implying I don't work for the betterment of myself, family, and world.

>>42357334
Wow.
Just wow.
OP I salute you.

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>>42357609
This is glorious. Good work, anon.

>>42358494
What? Of course we do. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. It's almost exactly the same as "do you have proof" or "can you prove it"

>>42359351
Ah, the price of glorious diversity!
Srsly, that's rough, I hope he's okay.

>>42359396
I've had dead fish ex gf's who would unironically say "youre welcome" after we finished having sex.

>>42359685
Not same guy. But he will never be fully recovered. It will change him in a serious way.

I've had sex with a fatty. No story but she was 17, became a fwb, she was into rough sex and anal. She even cooked for me while I sat on my ass. Fatties know how to please a man

>>42359351
Fucking hell. I hope this never happens to me. Also fuck illegals, build the wall and deport them all.

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>>42357334
Screen cap, lads

>>42359774
>>42359685
>>42359876
Watching him carry her casket was the hardest thing I have ever done. He and I are rooming this year, I'm going to do my damnedest to keep him from losing hope. What can I do lads? He has the strongest character of anyone I know, but he lost the light of his life. She was his helper, his perfect woman... They had eyes for NOBODY else. What can I do?

>be me 25
>just split with the bird and working out on an oil rig in north sea
>went absolutely wild on to the tinder. Shagged an absolute babe of an Asian girl so confidence was sky high
>matched with a girl when I was in heliport on my way home
>absolute slag sending me pussy pics
>I get home ditch bags, shower and head in taxi to hers
>it was a long 3 weeks on those rigs lads.
>she opens door and is absolutely bloody massive
>instant regret
>however i had talked a big game and couldn't back down
>she was so massive I couldnt even move her on bed
>try plowing her but its like playing snooker with a length of old rope
>lie on back and let her blow me while I close my eyes and think of ex
>Walk home in utter Shame and stay in bed for days
>block her on all social media
>3/10 would not recommend
>got back on the horse shortly after. Shagged about 25 girls and met my current gf. Keep fighting the good fight lads.

>>42359351
Society takes driving negligence too lightly. If most of the time people consider drunk driving a laughing matter instead of a serious crime, how do you expect for it to have harsh punishments?

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>>42357141
>doing it doggy, I start to cry with shame, tears stream down my face

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>>42357775
this fucking thread man

WHITE
WHALE
HOLY
GRAIL

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>>42356094

>>42359918
be there for him but also give him some space

>>42360443
Glorious

>>42357334

E
P
I
C

T
H
R
E
A
D

Oh..and also this is why MGTOW tells you to not marry

>bitch cheats on you with the first dude he hits on her
>threatens the cuckold to take half of his house and salary

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Boys, if you get catfished..LEAVE don't give the pig the satisfaction of fucking someone above her standards. Grow a set and walk away. Or give her the most humiliating sex of her life, piss on her, spit on her, make her go a2m, verbally degrade her. Or else these catfish pigs will never learn.

>>42357557

shhhh anon
its okay
no dreams
only tears now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvW-QTiZLQ0

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>>42356516
>tfw THIS is ludicrously fat to a European

hold me Ameribros....I can't take it

70% of our adults overweight or obese

>>42357692
Yeah, he totally contacted hubby because of his "morals"...not cause we were enjoying the story and he was stepping it up a notch

>was out with a friend
>both get super smashed
>he gets to the point where i have to carry him around
>passes out on the table at some bar
>doesn't want to walk 40min home
>we both broke so no cab for our sorry asses
>tell him imma think of something
>in that moment a whale grill i know comes up
>she asks if he ok and we talk a little
>tell her he's smashed and we need a place to stay
>she actually agrees
>even says we can have the bed while she sleeps on the couch
>don't remember what happened after but she was in bed next to us
>another part of memory loss
>now she's on top of me trynna fuck with my friend passed out next to us
>tell her we should go to the living room
>try to fuck there
>dick is half jelly
>2mins in i gotta piss
>take condor off and go to bathroom
>can't believe what im doing
>come back
>try to put condor back on but dick too jelly
>thank you peenor you're doing gods work
>tell her i can't and that imma pass out
>wake up next morning and try to leave asap
>friend takes forever to get ready and we finally go
>have a burger and a beer at 10am in a sign of defeat

Worst night ever my dudes. Even got a booty call the next day but i kindly declined and she deleted me from facebook after that. Thank god

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>>42360621
Cuz, the table is blocking her body, check them tree trunks, that's a big bitch.

Gotta learn to block out the fatties, don't look at them, don't give them attention, perhaps that will drive them to loose weight.

I was walking around the mall today and I spotted tons of good pussy. Also "overweight" can be misleading if using bmi to measure. Overweight could mean fat tits and ass...

>>42356458
Am I the only retard who can't read this? It's definitely too small

>>42360805
You are retarded, you can increase the size of images.

>>42357608
Well said bro

>>42357334
>>42357373
Wait. You need to go to fucking court do get divorced in America? Thats actually retarded

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>>42357608

>>42358300
If you can prove infidelity divorce is nowhere near as bad.

>>42360902
That's how it works everywhere with a legal system, Mtombe.

>>42360902
Yeah, we can't just say talaq 3 times over here like you guys can.

>>42359566
>that image
>>implying I don't work for the betterment of my atheist lunch table I started in 7th grade last year

>>42360988
Depends on the laws of the state and/or prenuptial legal documents they made.

Divorce is popular here, and money and children often involve legal battles between the spouses.

>>42357760
Anon you're doing gods work. Just wanted to say you're a great guy.

>>42357166
I'm sorry bro but I fucked your retartet son ;_;

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>>42357334

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>>42357334
MADLAD
A
D
L
A
D

>>42357334
The price of a world free of racial prejudice, goy.

>>42359774
>>42359918
Shit. I'm gonna give my gf a call tonight.
>>42359876
Also this. Three fucking DUIs and no deportation? This is the cost of sanctuary cities. Next time you go to vote for a sanctuary cuck, remember this. Sanctuary cities only protect the bad illegals, the ""law abiding"" ones never get processed in the first place.

>>42361513
>Shit. I'm gonna give my gf a call tonight.
That's sweet, but give it a few hours. We like to cuddle and give each other soft kisses after I'm done pounding my fat erection into her stupid cunt and shit hole.

>>42359351
welcome to the internet, don't say really unique names in really unique situations unless you want people easily finding pictures of them

>>42361769
Did you read the post? They're dead. Why would it matter now?

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>this fucking thread

>>42361791
Did you suck my dick? It's big. Why aren't you sucking it now?

>>42356094
I've got a story when I was 16.

>lifeguard
>tryna smash cutie pie with a fat ass
>gonna go over to her house to get that nanny
>she just got a bf that day and blocked me
>wellshit.jpg
>her fatty friend messages me on her phone arguing with me about her and my missed poon
>end up saying fuck it to myself and try to get fat poon
>fat poon is down
>I'm not proud of what I did
>eventually go over after swim lessons in the morning
>I've only had sex one other time at that point in my life to a petite gf I had
>So I enter the beasts lair, she's got a fat ass so that was nice, and boobs which my ex did not have... however the nipples looked like puffy torpedos
>So I start hammering a-way, takes me like an hour to nut
>sweaty, smelly, and ashamed after the fact
>get up and leave without knowing this was not the last time....

cont?

>>42357760
nice anon, nice

>>42359375
I want to hear more, why didn't you get back together with your ex? How did becoming jaded change you? Great story btw, thanks for sharing.

>>42359375
women are a fucking meme

>>42362267
I was a hopeless romantic. Part of me still is.

I look at how my grandparents and even parents loved eachother. It's what I always wanted and thought I found it.

My ex was a bit of a loon, everyone said so, but I loved her and ignored it. Did everything for her.

We started fighting the summer before my junior year, mostly about nothing. It culminated into a big fight where she stayed at my house for like 3 weeks straight. I was also taking 7 classes, started a club at my uni and was working part time.
I told her to go home ( she had issues with her parents). idk, something changed, she basically snapped.
The next night a buddy texted me saying she was at a bar with her gf's bad mouthing me to everyone.
I called her, she ignored it.
I actually didn't see her for like 2 weeks. Kept trying to get in touch, finally just decided I'd let it blow over, I was too busy and stressed to deal with that shit.
In the middle of the library one day I decide to go on facebook to look at her pictures because I had missed her. Her status says single.
I have a fucking panic attack. Call her phone a literal 18 times in a row.
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs outside the library. She agrees to meet with me. Tells me she doesn't feel the love anymore, whatever the fuck that means. I tell her to chill out and rethink what she's doing, we had planned both of our lives out to be together.

Anyways after a few more fights she says she doesn't want to see me ever again. I'm fucking dumbfounded.

Don't see her for a few months, keep hearing shitty rumors that she's started talking to this young doctor stud who just finished med school. btw I popped her cherry. But still no confirmation she's slept with anyone. The first time she called me to hook up was because according to her "was too scared to sleep with anyone else", as if that made me feel better.

continued.

>>42358482
Isn't OP from the US tho? Could be very different there

>>42362367
We had great sex all night, I thought it changed things around. Disappears on me again. Now she's posting pictures of her with some other older, yuppie kid who lives in the bigger city over.

Calls me one night at like 1 AM to tell me she's dating someone new and is having a great time.
I hang up.
Then the fatty thing happens.
After my ex and I fucked that night she tells me about a week later she's sorry for what she said and did to me, yada yada.
I'm hesitant. She keeps going out with this dude, I'm starting to become an alcoholic and I start just hitting on, and fucking girls I meet at bars. Surprisingly the caliber is top notch ever since the fattie. I'm well known in my city and lots of these bitches knew about me from my ex. It was always "That kid was dating that girl who's fucking smoking hot, I wonder what he's about?"
Periodically my ex would call me to meet up, we'd fuck, she'd give some sob story, I'd leave angry and depressed.

She ends up breaking up with the yuppie kid because he was just fucking her and didn't want a serious thing.

I start hearing from people she's going out to New York and other big cities and hanging out with sugar daddies and shit. I'm super sad that the sweet girl I knew has turned into a fucking retarded whore. I go down the drain even further.

At this point though I'm also becoming disgusted in her and women in general.
By this time I have slept with 40 + women, half of whose faces I don't remember and almost all who's names I don't remember.
I retreat for a while.
Anyways, I graduate, start working corporate, and she calls me one day, after almost a year.
Tells me she fucked up. She doesn't know what happened, why she snapped and did what she did and she wants to do anything to make it right. I tell her I need to know who she is now because I hate her for what she's become. Apparently that wasn't the answer she wanted.
Week later she starts dating this dweeb version of me and 5 months after shes engaged.

>>42362426
Damn. That's a hell of a story. How are you doing now? Still an alcoholic? Have things been looking up, or are the days dark and bleak?

>>42362426
There's alot more to this story, and I know it sounds cliche, but truth is she did fuck up and I genuinely didn't do anything to warrant her behavior. I'm a fun, lovable guy from a super well known family. Our relationship was never known for me doing anything bad to her. And I never did. Like I said she had problems at home though. Her parents beat her and mentally abused the fuck out of her. I think years of that led to her loosing her shit. But it also doesn't warrant what she did to me in response.

Last I saw her was after hearing about the engagement at a bar I frequent. I was having a good time, talking to these two girls and she strolls her ass in. I nearly lost it for a moment. I was so butthurt she had the nerve to come to that bar, she knew it was where I go with my friends regularly.
Funny part is I kept a straight face and pretended I was fine, which I found out later pissed her off even more because she wanted a reaction out of me.

Now I'm kind of lost. Quit my corporate job because I was losing it, considering commissioning in the Army, just want to get the fuck away, travel, meet new people. All my plans got fucked up, all of them. Because they were all centered around her. I've picked up the pieces but I don't know how to put them back together and point myself in a new direction.

Also to answer your question about being jaded, women are a fucking joke to me now. I rarely go out and I even more rarely fuck. Last time I had sex was 3 months ago and I don't give a shit if it doesn't happen again for a year. I don't bother playing games with women anymore.

>>42362481
Clean now. No dark days really, but things are pretty gray. I've lost direction. Just taking it a day at a time. I'm a very driven individual who wants to accomplish as much as possible as soon as possible and not knowing what to do is totally new to me.

>>42362055
I only suck feminine dicks, pal.

>>42362496
Dude, not to be rude, but your story really makes me want what happened to you to happen to me. Maybe it's because I'm an outsider in your life, but what you typed makes me think that you're an interesting, sophisticated person, and this experience is only unique to people like you.

This sounds cliche, but you were successful because of yourself, Anon, not because of her. If you could just find a reason to move forward, something to cement your plans around, as you said, I know you'll go even further than you already have.

Would you mind if I asked you some unrelated questions? I would really appreciate some comments from someone as weathered and experienced as you.

>>42362564
Sure thing dude, and thanks. I'll be up for a bit longer.

>>42362587
Awesome! Thank you very much!

1. Where are you located? Based on your story, it sounds like you're currently in California or some other big city.

2. What do you do for a living? What did you do before? How did you get there?

3. What's your program? How long have you been lifting?

4.How do you stay driven/motivated? Is it just who you are or did you develop it over time?

5. Any tips for a Freshman in college? Maybe a list of to-dos, just some general advice, or a guideline to a successful college life?

Thanks again!

>>42362564
Not him but you really don't want that shit. I had a gf. Literally my dream girl. Kind of eccentric but she cared about me like I couldn't even care about myself. We would stay up until 4am talking about space and philosophy and music. She would tell me that she loved me more than love. I was planning my life and she was in it. Law school was also in it and I was able to get until a top 10 program. I told her that it was a heavy time commitment and despite being in the same city we wouldn't get a lot of time together because I wanted to work hard to provide a good foundation for a family we would make. At first she was fine with it. Soon, though, she became very cold and distant and that killed me. She never ended it and I tried to mend the relationship, letting my grades suffer. After Christmas break she breaks up with me. I am devastated but within two weeks I'm making moves on a girl that ticked every box for me. Eventually me and new girl are out at a place I kept trying to get my ex to go to with me. Guess who happens to show up as I'm drunk on wine and slow dancing with a new girl? Yup, my ex, who over the next week and a half essentially stalks me wanting to talk. I cut her out completely, haven't heard word from her since, but she lingers in my mind. My relationship with the new girl was doomed to begin with because of my ex and over a year and a half after the break up, after a year long relationship with another girl, I can't get her out of my head. I don't know if it's because my confidence is shot and I don't know if I'll ever get a girl that hot again or if it's because I love her still but it's driving me nuts. It hasn't made me hate women, yet at least, but I'm resigned to never understanding them and slowly accepting my fate of never finding true love. Just like the other dude my grand parents and parents all had this deep, true, unconditional love that I wanted as well. I thought I found it but if not with her I doubt I ever will

>>42362617
1. East Coast. New England.

2. Currently I do technician work in carpentry. Dads skill set. I was working in sales and contract work, a bit of marketing as well. I've had lots of jobs though, I've been working since I was about 11. As far as how I got here, idk really, just connect with alot of people, I'm very sociable, I like learning and I like challenging myself. Right now I just don't really know which way I want to go in.

3. Don't really follow any "known" programs. I did wrestling and crew in highschool and my gym teachers were hard asses about getting us into the gym. After that I did some MMA so my routines have been mostly centered around the types of workouts those sports involved.

Now I do lots of calisthenics and some heavy lifts like dead-lifts, bench, lots of dumbbell stuff.
Now that it's summer I drive to the beach once a week and just swim for hours. I also run alot.

4. I think alot of it was discipline from when I was a kid. My family background goes back to aristocracy in Eastern Europe. That mentality survived with my grandmother and later my mother and they were some hardass women. They would force me to keep reading, keep practicing etc. etc. Also my father works like 80 hours a week, never stops moving. I suppose I got it from her lessons and his example. I just don't like being below anyone, I love competition.

5. Depends what you want out of life. The most basic advice I would give is set yourself up early on for having more options when you get out.
By that I mean, as tired as you are, as much as you want to just chill keep doing more than everyone around you.
If it wasn't for the breakup and also a little before that a series of death in my family and friend circle I would have finished with a 3.9. Instead I got a 3.5. I participated in school activities, started a business club at my uni, did some community outreach work and just connected with as many people as possible.

>>42362641
I'm sorry to hear that man. Why didn't you talk with your ex? Did you ever find out what went wrong? Feel free to answer my previous questions btw.

What I want isn't the breakup part, but rather, finding my "dream girl" as well. I come from a rather unloving family, and all I want is to create one that is everything my family wasn't.

Are there any other anons out there who have stories like this? If so, please don't be afraid to share it.

>>42362673
Thank you very much Englandbro, I appreciate you answering my questions. I hope everything goes great for you, and best wishes from across the pond.

>>42362673
Also I'll add, and it sounds a bit silly, but do have fun. Make some friends, party a bit, get laid. Take college seriously as a stepping stone for your future, but don't take it seriously as a stepping stone for your love and family life. I learned the hard way, as well as the other anon who recently posted.
Build yourself up to be the man you want to be in 4 years. Workout, study etc.

Also don't let learning stop at the classroom door. I'm a very curious person, part of it is that my mother forced be to read for hours on end as a kid under her supervision, but it stuck.

The more you know, the more you want to know, the more likely you will have the confidence to try new things.

Also as far as connecting with people, you don't have to become friends with everyone, but you definitely need to connect with everyone who might have even a tiny bit of a positive impact on your life.
Think like a politician sometimes.
I can technically start working at Fidelity, KP Morgan, Morgan Stanley by the end of the month if I wanted to. I just don't know what I want right now. All because of people I connected with.

>>42362705
lol I'm in New England dude. Massachusetts. But regardless good luck, stay strong. We are all going to make it.

>>42357651
>And that's how I lost my v card anons

hilarious

>>42360587
Easiest way to catch a false rape charge

>>42362680
I told her that if she wanted to talk to me she had her chance when I was trying to save our relationship and when she was pushing away from me. I said that because I am weak and would have taken her back and I know that wouldn't have been good. I think part of it was she was disillusioned with how hard law school was for me and how much time it took.

Let's see

1. Midwest

2. Will be a lawyer next year. Before I ran the family restaurant for two years.

3. Used to do a 5 day split with a bodyweight routine and 20 minutes of jump rope everyday. Now depression and school have made me lucky if I work out once a week.

4. I compete with myself. I bombed my first year of law school but used that as motivation to prove to myself I could do it and raised myself a lot the past year and intend to finish off even stronger. I hate when I preform below what I know I can and I tell myself I can do the best in everything so I push myself to extremes to prove to myself I can. Be it 12 hours a day for 3 weeks in a row in the library, taking partnership and corporate tax purely because I hear they're the hardest classes offered in law school, or doing an entire bodyweight routine, including bridges, with a thrown out back (probably from working out twice a day) I feel the need to test my own limits constantly. It's not healthy and I'm very rigid. I will stick to a schedule even if it makes me miserable so long as I think it's helping my goals.

5. Go to class. Getting good grades is as easy as going to class everyday and sitting front row. I smoked weed everyday for two years of undergrad and graduated summa cum laude and was inducted in phi beta kappa without doing any readings just because I went to class, sat front row, and paid attention. Don't hurry love, I didn't find my first gf (also my dream girl and a 9/10 no make up beauty) until I was 24. Stick to your word. Get some hobbies/passions you can talk to anyone about and not be embarrassed.

>>42360697
if that was your worst night ever you have had a very easy life, man

>>42362484

I had a similar thing happen to me in high school. it was tough man and it threw me off for years. you're gonna have to figure out the answers for yourself most likely but in case you can listen to an old anons words keep a few things in mind:

it's not a woman thing, it's a people thing. most people are shitty and it's mostly a product of shitty ideas in a shittier environment

there are no answers in a bottle, or in another part of the world, but it's understandable to look there.

you have got your own shit to deal with. your reaction wasn't (and probably still isn't) healthy. owning your end of the crap in your life is the only way to grow.

you've got to build a new life now. you get to, even. take this opportunity and run with it. leave her in the past, she doesn't matter any more. she can't, if you're gonna make it.

good luck homie

>>42357760
Hahahahahahaha nice fucking job man. Not only did I kek while reading your whaling story, this just makes it even better. You're a good man for telling the husband.

>>42357642
Its a great show. Not a lot of my friends know about it tho :(

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aahahaha holy fuck what a story

>>42362484
Come to New Orleans anon. We're good at fixing that kinda shit with good food, cold beer, and jazz.

>>42357166
Back in the days before the Marines. When all that mattered was smoking weed in the park with her. Listening to her laugh. Seeing her smile. Not caring about the future. Now I'm alone. I miss you Kathleen. I should've never left.

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>>42362125
pls

>>42359918

be his new gf