Feels Thread

>I completely forget about the blonde basically
>The blonde about a month ago started being outright mean to me in the hallways etc.
>People around us don't know what the fuck she's doing
>Whyisshedoingthis.jpeg
>I start thinking
>Maybe she thinks I ditched her for this brunette
>Blonde now sends me a text about some random stuff once a month basically
>This is fucking with my feels, I had basically forgotten about this girl
>I start feeling some weird shit
>"what would happen if I would've made more moves?" "What would it be like if she was my GF instead?"
>Today I went through our old text conversations
>WhydidIdothis.com
>Feels start pouring in
>Feel like shit rn

Please tell me someone else has experienced this? What should I do /fit/?

>>42354249
>the brunette suddenly starts to laugh at me in class,not at my jokes! just randomly laughing
>I try to play it off but it's getting annoying
>suddenly I snap and begin screaming
>whole class is silent and stares
>"SUCK MY NOOGIES!" I scream
>she stares back at me blankly
>"Oh? So that's not funny eh? Well, you seem to find it funny earlier? Huh?"
>people start murmuring and some leave
>"You think that I'm a joke? Me? You'll pay for it!"
>I basically have a mental breakdown and take a dump on the desk

And that's why I post gay-ass unrelated threads on /fit/.

>>42354257
I just wanted to get it off my chest I'm sorry

>>42354265
I'm sorry too. It's ok bro. I regret it now.

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>>42354249
>>42354257
>>42354265
>>42354281
Wat... This is epic on so many levels. Include me in screen cap boys!

>>42354294
Doesn't happen everyday

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>>42354294
am i getting baited here?

>>42354257
whoa-k there buddy

Shit this thread didn't go where I wanted it to:(

>>42354178
>When I changed schools 2 years ago, I ended up in a great class, all lovely people
you have to be 18 or older to post here
also not /fit related
sage and kys

>>42354481
I'm a eurofag we go to school until 20 years of age

>>42354513
im also eurofag, im 18 and I finished school this year.

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>be me
>18, /fit/ and relatively handsome
>also autistic and browse 4chan all day
>get approached by women at least once every few weeks
>they start small talking and try to break the ice
>can't muster anything more than "heh," "that's cool," "oh really"
>you can always see their face change slightly when they realize i'm autistic
>then they end the convo along the lines of "well it was nice meeting you, take care!"

If I had any social skills at all I might have friends or even a gf. Sadly I'm afraid of failure don't have the will power to do so.
>tfw the loneliness is starting to drive me a little crazy
>talk to myself all the time
>laugh out loud because of the silly convo I'm having with myself internally
>cry myself to sleep most nights because I long so much for a friend

>>42354889
oh and to attest to my level of autism; in high school I was the kid that sat by himself at lunch every day. tried for a long time to make friends by sitting down with random people and making conversation but I never really fit in anywhere. is it time to off myself?

>>42354889
>get drunk
>????
>profit

>>42354928
post pic

>>42354928
If I wasn't lucky enough to be out into a class with a group of great and friendly people, I would probably have had the same experience as you.
I hate most people and any time I was in a class without those friends, I would always be by myself.
I would sometimes make conversation but it never lasted cause I was autistic but luckily I had fries to talk to when the class ended.
You can always find friends somewhere, just don't give up.

>>42354889
>>42354928
Anon, I know the feels. Things will get better, you should enjoy the Little things in Life. Next time a woman starts talking to you ask her something random. Doesn't really matter, it can be random af. Just ask if she was an animal, what animal would she be? Use your imagination, just say some random shit that gets her talking.

>>42354957
This actually does help me a lot. The two times I've gotten drunk I was able to talk to and have great fun with a few people. It was awkward as hell when we woke up the next morning though because the buzz was gone and I'd reverted back to being autistic.
>>42354959
No can do, my coworkers browse /fit/ and I can't risk outing myself
>>42354974
this gives me a little bit of hope anon, thanks for sharing
>>42354993
it's not even that I can't think of things to say or talk about, I just get so flustered that I freeze up and can hardly talk. Even thinking about having to talk to someone makes my heart race, face turns red, start sweating profusely, etc

>>42355089
In what business are you in? Maybe you should pick a line of work where you talk to people frequently to make it easier

>>42355126
>Maybe you should pick a line of work where you talk to people frequently to make it easier
Did this exactly, actually.
Starting at 16 I became a sales representative for a roofing company. Did okay and made decent money but the cordial, professional manner of communication didn't really transfer over to real world social situations. Now I work in a gym.

>>42355200
Working in a gym should force you to talk to people, you'll make it anon, we're all gonna make it

>>42355200
16? Kek are you from the states?

>>42354889
They don't realize you're autistic, your autistic answers make them think you're not interested.

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>met grill who specifically stated she finds me attractive
>still get rejected
this happens every year and not sure how much longer i can take. 21yr old virgin please save me

>>42355608
Wow never thought about this, it's true

>>42355307
I hope so :/
>>42355397
Yeah. Where do you live and what age do people start working there?
>>42355608
That's a good point, actually

this shit is all not fit related and its going to get deleted real fast but

>have feels for this cute grill
>shes not interested
>meet her after almost a year, lift hard through that year and go out from skinnyfat to builtfat mode, got better haircut etc
>she obviously noticed my gains but acts cool like nothing changed
>one day she asks me questions about my age, my plans for future and what not, in the "im totally not interested in that, just asking because" way
>it was longest talk we had literally ever
>anyways i tell her i need to change my clothes and shit and go to work
>my sister said she was asking questions about me and it seem she was snooping on my fb profile (but she still didnt accept the invite from one year ago)

idk if im just delusional or if i have chances with that chick

shes adorable, dedicated to work (even thought its only summertime work for her), studies mathy thing, and is probably aspiring to get some good career.

idk lads
i want to appear to her as a good guy, not as a chad that wants to just fuck her but idk.

>>42355927
why the fuck do women have to be so cryptic. From what I've read, it sounds like she's into you and you could ask her out. But who fucking knows. Wouldn't be surprised if she turned you down then started acting even more interested in you.

>>42356154
i asked her out last year

and what she did ?
she turned around without word and walked away.

>next monday at work
>she smiles to me in the morning and says hello

f uckign ehella epic

>>42356225
>>next monday at work
>>she smiles to me in the morning and says hello
fucking girls man

>>42356330
Do you like her, anon?

>>42356446
i do in fact like her

question is if she like me

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I would give away everything if I could be just average at talking to people. People have no idea how hard it is to be shit at conversations. There's literally nothing I can do about it. No amount of lifting or 'self-improvement' will change that. All I can do is watch as people I meet just drift away from me.

>>42356502
as a intp autist, getting confident helps

as in
improve your looks and shit and by feeling better you will also be more confident in yourself and then conversations are easier

t. 25 kissless virgin

>>42356546
Try being confident with a stutter and a faggy voice

>>42356554
i think being calmer helps with stutter

faggy voice ? well
time to pull the trigger

>>42355697
Hey you could be me and hit it off big time with a QT, date for a couple weeks and then ask her out just to be told "i realize now I was excited about the acts, not the person"

>>42356624
what

i dont even

>>42356646
Yeah. A nice conservative girl that's only ever had one other boyfriend, I almost fucked her a week after we started so I kind of think she just got scared and anxious over it. Really fucking sucks but its her loss.

I have actual fitness related feels

>travelling for 3 months, backpacking around
>exercise includes exclusively kayaking, hiking, or surfing, hiking being the main one
>Back to the gym for the first time today
>squat down 60 lbs
>OHP down 20
>bench down 20
>went from doing weighted pullups with 25lbs to doing the same amount without any weight

I didn't dead lift but I'm not excited for how much weight I will be able to move. Same with my rows and dips.

>tfw I was finally making decent progress, was actually getting happy with myself
>all down the drain

cardio went to shit too but /fit/ hates cardio

>>42357015
I'd actually think it was worth it though, travelling is something you remember, going to the gym is not.

>>42357015
>cardio went to shit too but /fit/ hates cardio
Kek, true

>>42356613
Or just learn how to manage your voice

>>42357319
It was wonderful but I need routine and intense exercise to help with my insomnia and keep me from getting depressed so going to the gym is more than just about the gains for me, its about keeping good mental health.

I do not regret the trip however, just unfortunate how some things went.

>>42357641
Same here, lifting for mental gains is a thing

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>>42356624
thats exactly what happened to me, i even told myself that if she rejects me (even though I specifically stated that I wanted to see her again because I think she's cute and she willingly agreed and said she was eager to see me again) I will give up.
I'm now at a point in my life that if a girl grabs me by the crotch, looks me in the eyes and says she wants to fuck me, I still would hesitate to believe her. This is hardly the first time it's happened. I'm getting very frustrated with women right now, or at least the ones I keep running into.

>>42357789
I understand entirely anon. My situation is made worse by the fact that I'm 99% sure that she does really like me, but shit just went down juuuust perfectly to make it so it was simply easier to cut me out of her life.

We have to look on the bright side, we were able to get those dates, and we made memories with those girls that can never be taken away. There are plenty of anons that would trade for our position in a heartbeat, and for good reason. We only fail when we stop trying, so we must keep trying. There are good women out there, I know it first hand. The timing isn't always right, so take a break and work on yourself if you want, but don't give up. We'll both make it if you keep your head up brother. They're only bitches.

>>42354249
Nothing, the brunette is your GF. The blonde is just trying to fuck with you. I mean do you that easily leave people (your current GF) behind? She didn't even tell you that she would suck your dick. The blonde seems to be a manipulative bitch. Apart from that you said she didn't care back then. So why do you care now?
Just cut all contact with the bitch. Reverting to the being mean tactic? An adult? Are you kidding?

>>42354889
>>talk to myself all the time
>>laugh out loud because of the silly convo I'm having with myself internally
That's just introversion, unless you say it out loud like literally talk with yourself. It has nothing to do with your "autism". It's also most likely social anxiety. So just try to give less of a fuck about shit and say whatever you want. Most people actually care a lot less about it then you realize.

>>42355927
>>42356154
Honestly, some of these seem redflags to me. She might be one of those sneaky and/or BPD types. So just be careful.

>>42354178
>>42354249
>>42354257
What the fuck?

>>42354178
>we text a lot
That's where you fucked up. Ffs people, text her max a few times and then ask her out you autist.

What went through her head:
>I like anon he's a cool dude, hope he asks me out
>weeks go by
>OK maybe he'll finally get the hint if I send him some hearts, cmon anon
>he's still not asking me out, maybe he just wants to be friends
>weeks go by
>he still hasn't made a move but he still texts me, I don't think he's interested in me romantically, I should really move on
>goes on trip
>Chads really cool, hope he asks me out
>omg! He asked me out! Can't wait to see him tomorrow evening!
>goes out with Chad and has a blast
>anon texts her
>I don't think there's a point to try anything with anon, he's so indecisive and won't ask me out... Better ignore him so I can get over him
>I haven't responded but he keeps texting me, kind of creepy, what does he want?
>back from trip
>sees anon with brunette
>so thats why anon wasnt asking me out even though I made it soooo obvious, he rather would go out with that bitch. What an asshole, probable kept me on the backburner, I can't stand the sigh of him anymore.

>>42358292
Literally this

>>42358191
>Just cut all contact with the bitch
Is that it? I just cut her off? Why would the blonde try to manipulate me like this now? After she's ignored me for like 8 months

>>42358292
Would be possible, but it isn't like this. I did make moves, we went out once. I know that isn't much but hear me out. I Always felt like I was the one chasing her, so I figured she didn't really like me like that and stopped bothering her to see if she would try to make contact with me, and she didn't. Also important point, we stopped texting eachother during her trip, and never started again. And NOW she sends me a snap or whatever out of the blue once a month, why would she do this?

>>42358247
OPs posts are the top 2, the third is just a random /fit/izen trying to prove a point

>>42354249

> What should I do /fit/?

I'm going to tell you to do the right thing, because of this, you will not like it. Stay with your current GF and drop the blonde. She already dropped you once and will do it again. She thought the same exact thing you are thinking right now (the grass is greener on the other side...)

Don't say it's not true, you've already stated the following:
> I start feeling some weird shit
> "What would it be like if she was my GF instead?"

While she was stringing you along, she gave you up because she found a better person (or someone she thought would be a better person.) Now she's trying to "settle" with you because she knows that you're a "sure thing". Now, you've already stated that you are beginning to have the same thoughts about dropping your current GF in favor of this blonde.... Things will only work out badly doing this. As of right now, you have a nice brunette gf who hasn't pulled any of this crap on you yet.

You can try to justify it to yourself all you want, but you know what you should do.

>>42358191
Also, leaving GF for her is out of the question, would never do that. I was just asking if anyone else experienced this, like why the fuck would she do this to me

>>42358492
>You can try to justify it to yourself all you want, but you know what you should do.
Thanks, anon. I really needed this. I thought that might've been what happened but I long doubted she met someone else, I just thought I did something wrong

>>42358525

We've all been where you are and we all know how it feels to be left for someone else or dropped by someone we used to really like. It's a hard feeling, but it seems as if you've found someone who likes you now. This blonde sounds like trouble and I've known plenty of the type. I'd stay away and go no contact, immediately. Ask yourself this, if you lost your current gf and this blonde and ended up by yourself, would it have been worth it?

>>42358582
Good point, it definitely wouldn't have been. But what should I answer her texts with? We obviously aren't texting eachother hearts anymore but still? I can't just ignore her because we still got 1 year of school left together (I'm 19)

>>42358191
>Reverting to the being mean tactic? An adult? Are you kidding?
I know it's weird that's why I'm asking

>>42358426
>I Always felt like I was the one chasing her
Of course you did, because you were constantly texting her. The best thing you can do it text a bit and ask her out on a definite 'date' (not in the traditional sense ofc). Then when you have the date set PUT THE DAMN PHONE DOWN, then meet up, have fun and always escalate. Also never set the next date at the end of a date, let her wonder.

What usually happens is one of the following:
>she texts you out of the blue asking you something or saying she had fun
>you'll never hear from her again, ie not interested

Also, women always say something like 'text me when you get home so I know you're safe' or some variation like that, especially after sex when you go home at like 2am. Don't EVER text her when you get home, they never respond to that text (done it just to see what would happen, not one girl I tried responded to that) . Essentially, she wants to flip the game so that YOU'RE the one doing the chasing.

If she texts you out of the blue, chit chat a bit, set the next date and GET OFF YOUR DAMN PHONE.

Rinse and repeat, she'll be demanding more and more of your attention and she will learn that if she texts you, then you'll set something up and you both get together.

She will be essentially chasing YOU. If not then she isn't interested. Interested women chase like crazy, even though society wants us to believe that only men chase. Chasing = weakness.

>>42358836
This is very good advice for future and other anons, should honestly be in sticky kek

Also
>of course you did you were constantly texting her
I wasn't, we were hanging out a lot after school to "study" and so on

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>22
>2k in debt
>didnt finish college for my shitty meme degree
>no car
>just quit my minimum wage graveyard shift job
>living with parents but they are getting sick of me
>too much of a pussy to kms

The wave is about to crash on me. I am really fucked

>>42358495
>>42358371
> Why would the blonde try to manipulate me like this now?
Honestly, IDK. There are many reasons one can think of, but the important thing most of the time is not the why, but the fact that she is using such tactics.

I do know however that these kind of affairs usually have a (very) bad ending. In a way, she essentially asserts dominance over you, even if her way of doing it is confusing you. It's still the same shit.

Now reading the thread I see that >>42358492 already answered it and he explained it better than I could in my previous answer.

>>42358688
Actually you can, other than that, try not to respond enthusiastically. Distance yourself from her as much as you can. Focus on actual topics when you talk to her like school which have a benefit to both of you, with other topics just cut it short, etc.

Basically distance yourself from her in a non-cruel, but confident way without hurting her more than necessary. That way she will have a much smaller attack surface and if she goes full dickhead then she will be the only one to blame.

>>42358820
See above. It's not weird, it's dishonest and she is most likely blaming you to rationalize her shit. Not healthy.

>>42358836
This guy also gets it. All I want to add is that I believe among two healthy people a bit of chasing is acceptable on both sides. If you keep it fun.
On the other hand if a woman only gets chased without her chasing anyone it can get to her ego. Usually a single woman gets a lot more interest from men then a single man gets from women numerically speaking. So she can easily get into the mindset where she jumps in the arms of "someone better" easily. It basically changes her whole view on relationships.
So it's a lot more better and healthier to let the woman chase you. "Chase" her only after you know she is equally into you and she can do the chasing too. A game is only fun to play if you both know it's a game and like it.

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>"Hey Stacey, who're you texting"
>"Oh nobody, Chad. Just some guy from class asking if I want to hang out."
>"Lol ask him who's coming"
>Haha that'll show anon

>>42358975
get a fuxking job you shitstain

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>>42358975
>27
>15k in debt
>have a well paying job
>cut up my credit cards
>stopped spending like an idiot
>debt free life is just a matter of time and consistency

Thank god I stopped before it got even worse.

>>42359004
Thank you that's great advice. I've been trying to answer her texts in a strictly professional manner.

>actually you can
No I can't do that, she has lots of friends, that I'm also friends with, she'd turn them against me and things would get even worse.

>she's most likely blaming you to rationalise her shit
What did he mean by this?

Also, on that last point, a woman who has been chased by men a lot, is she FUBAR? Or can she be saved? Like, can you somehow not chase her and get her attention? My experience is that once this gets to their ego, you gotta abandon ship. Because if you don't chase her she'll forget about you after a week

>>42358975
Specify this 'shitty meme degree' pls

>>42359053
What did he mean by this?

>QT girl from work texts me
>we texts for a few months
>has a bad past with guys, try to get over it
>get feels for her
>tell her
>"sorry, but i'm not psychically attracted to you"
>oh...okay...have real bad self esteem issues and that hurt hard
>she still wants to talk everyday
>months go by
>she tells me she had feelings for me but couldn't express them because I hated her past
>we cudled a few times
>now things are terrible between us
>argue often, she gets mad when I go out with friends but she doesn't want to be my girl
>asks why I never ask her to come over
>ask her to come over 3 days in a row
>no every time
>she ignores me and says she doesn't like texting all the time
>if i try breaking it off she says she needs me and can't do it without me (which I just can't believe)
>move to uni in next month, so it will probably come to an end
>I just hope she regrets not looking past my looks and wishes she gave me a chance

sorry i'm all over the place. she's said so many things to me that just friends wouldn't say to each other. none of it makes sense

>>42359254
You shouldn't have texted her so much, make her think you can do without her and she would've been all over you.

>>42358582
>We've all been where you are
Now wait a second, mr Chad Thundercock. Who do you think you are? Have you forgotten where you belong?

>>42354178
>We text a lot
Common mistake. It's proven that women are more attracted to a guy whose feelings are uncertain. Women also like mystery, and the "budding relationship" has to be an interesting story to keep her interested. Problem with texting is most guys over use it... which makes you look like you're either needy or have nothing going on in your life and are boring. Women lose interest, and it's basically self-sabotage.

What happened when you "forgot" and became occupied with this new chick... the blonde wants back in... like clockwork. Unless you are in an explicitly exclusive arrangement with the brunette you should ask the blonde out.

Don't do this over text. Phones are only for arranging in person meetings, where the EXPERIENCE of getting to know you can take place and fees her sense of adventure. It's sad, but we all know women have no fucking clue what they want... and it's basically a fucking romance novel life which is dogshit... but if done correctly can lead to a longer term relationship.

For now, don't take it so seriously... allow that to develope on its own. Hang out, have fun, hook up.

>>42359254
Dude, I've got an idea.

Literally just copy paste that green text into a text message and send to her, and tell her that's how things have been from your point of view. You said you're going to Uni so you got nothing to lose doing this

>>42359254
A lot of girls are emotionally manipulative as fuck, many are sociopaths (in the literal sense).

Stay away, it's literally impossible to come out without a scratch when you involve yourself with them. Even if you have an idea of what you're getting into, it will still be a fucking mess.

>>42358894
>I wasn't, we were hanging out a lot after school to "study" and so on
OK, well most guys make the mistake of being the girls pen pal and trying to 'sell themselves' over the phone, which never works. Women have plenty of girlfriends and beta orbiters that they can text.

Here's a funny story about a beta orbiter.
>get to know new group
>get to like chubby girl, borderline overweight 4/10 but has sexy slut eyes and slut face, would easily be 8/10 if not for her weight
>other guy also likes her
>end up in fwb with her and fuck her now and then
>she's complaining to me that I never text her and she always puts in all work
>I don't really care but 'try' to make an effort but somehow I just 'fail' at it
>get to conversation about other guy having problems with another girl
>he's beta as fuck
>she takes her time to respond to him
>outright ignores him from time to time and gets annoyed by his beta texts
>she encourages him with beta advice
>tell her how beta all that shit she's telling him is and that it will never work
>she shows me his feel texts about another girl, which he sent to that girl
>'I just want to hold you in my arms, it doesn't gave to turn into anything more' and other begging texts
>he never even kissed her, hugged her or anything
>we both laugh at him
>she continues to encourage his beta tendencies and says he should try harder
Women are cruel as fuck, they know their advice is shit but want to make the guy feel better but at the same time think he's an absolute sucker for having no self respect.

I personally wouldn't have studied together with some girl in my class, as I wouldn't want to be her study buddy. I would imagine it could be awkward to make a move when she really just wants to study together and not more, whereas a movie date at your place sets a completely different tone and expectations from the get go. She'll even expect you to escalate on a movie date and she would most definitely be bummed out if you didn't escalate.

>>42359311
>What happened when you "forgot" and became occupied with this new chick... the blonde wants back in... like clockwork
Yeah but let's not forget that she waited 8 months before doing it. Also why is she trying to make fun of me in public? She hasn't succeeded so far but still, why?

>>42359254
She needs strong leadership. Stop passively asking her to come over. Call her and say, "hey, come over we're watching netflix tonight" or whatever activity you want to do. Women are all little girls inside... they want some boy on the playground to run up and grab them by the hand and lead them on an adventure.

this thread smells like reddit

>>42359328
At first I kek'd but then I realised how sad that is. Poor fucking guy. Women are psychos

>>42359004
>"Chase" her only after you know she is equally into you
This is extremely important, only reach out if you are dead certain they are extremely into you or they literally spell it out to you. Women will literally spell it out to you that they want you to text more, be more caring etc. This is universal from my own experience, had 4/10s and 8.5/10s complain to me that they want me to initiate more texting or just want me to be a bit more lovey dovey. Especially after you already had sex.

>>42359356
...because as I explained... you came off as a known quantity... another needy dude. So you were boring. She moved on to someone else and that didn't work out. She's giving you another chance because you have conducted yourself in a non-needy way and she perceives value. You can do with this what you want.

>>42359431
This is bad advice. A woman is always evaluating her level of attractiveness for you, in the third person... not only is it about what she feels but about how it all looks from the outside. If you at any time overpursue her level of attractivrleness decreases. It needs to be few and far between or you will drive her away... again.

>>42359443
Well fuck her, I'll ignore my 'grass is greener on the other side' instincts

>>42359484
All women are like this, fyi. It isn't a fault of her (nb4 whiteknight), it is their nature. Understanding this takes time, but closing doors when you don't necessarily have something with the brunette is a potential waste. If the blonde is pursuing you, that is the ideal state.

>>42359517
I do have something with the brunette, were happy together it's just that lately the blonde has been shoving my feelings around

>>42359481
I don't disagree, maybe I wasn't clear. I mean, for example, she's basically always the one to initiate texting (is mostly the case by me) and she then complains and would like you to initiate as well.

What I would do in this case is initiate every now and then to make her feel a bit special, but not enough to make her think I'm all over her and suffocating her.

I like to keep the initation ratio at 80:20. 80% her, 20% me, so she, once she has brought up the issue, doesn't think that I don't give a fuck about her while keeping the game in my advantage.

>>42356330
>>42356225
This is a case of her shit testing your decisiveness. Women don't want guys always being wimps about taking them out... asking questions is weakness.

In this case you smile back and stroll closer and playfully say something like, "Hey, I'm not going to repeatedly ask you out. Next week i'm going (activity) and you should come... as a date." Then you walk away and under no circumstances do you re-engage until she accepts.

Do not waste time on women that are not interested in you.

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>>42359558
>>42359443
>She's giving you another chance because you have conducted yourself in a non-needy way and she perceives value
This isn't necessarily even true. Women will encourage you to think they're into you so they can power trip on the attention and eventual rejection. If it fucks over another girl who she feels jealous of (not because she likes you, because she likes your attention), even better. The fact that the blonde is only giving you the minimal amount of attention needed to fuck with you is strong evidence that this is the case.

>>42354257
Is this op?

>>42356502
Have interests. Talk about them. Have some general awareness of news and normalfag current events like how large Beyonce's ass is this month or something. It's also perfectly valid to engage by actively LISTENING because women are self absorbed and love talking about themselves.

>>42356455
She doesnt deserve your penis anon let her keep mirin

>>42359667
It is not

>>42359646
I think this might be the case, why is /fit such good advice givers? I love you guys

>>42359646
True. It's all about OP understanding his own situation with all this generic advice. If he would jeopardize something with the brunette... and doesn't want to risk... thats fine too. If the brunette thing isn't explicitly exclusive then the option is there.

>>42359726
Because we know those feels, and also the traditional concept of Fraternity.

>>42359604
80/20 rule is fine. If she is pursuing then her level of attractedness is high and you are doing it right. Remember though... it is very important that if you want to develop something with this girl (any girl) these conversations cannot take place in text. It must be in person, face to face... preferably while doing something fun so it isn't a straight up therapy session all night.

>>42359670
>actively LISTENING because women are self absorbed and love talking about themselves.
This is gold advice guys.

The person doing active listening is the one with the power. They want you to listen so you have the power to lead the conversation, encourage/discourage/agree/disagree/validate/invalidate and give your input. Women always want to be the center of attention, it's in their nature, let them have it.

Plenty of guys make the mistake of talking endlessly trying to impress the girl or try to force a conversation, when all they have to do is listen actively.

Talking a lot also makes you seem insecure about yourself because you want their validation, this is why men who talk endlessly seem more feminine.

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>>42358027
this isn't the first time it's happened, every girl ends this way.
If it smells like shit everywhere you go etc. I'm the common factor, there must be something wrong with me. If I've tried and failed dozens of times before why would the next be any different

>>42359843
i listen all the time and i'm a virgin, stop spreading memes

>>42359942
>all the time
Having a personality once in a while goes a long way.

>>42359909
True, but it's 99% what you do not who you are. Problem is lads we were raised by a spoiled generation of people that didn't pass on vital knowledge to us about how to conduct ourselves as men should... instead we got participation trophies and our single mother parents were fucking clueless. Combine that with new tech and we're having to solve problems nobody has ever had to solve before (like social media and using your god damn cell phone too much).

Think about it this way. You come from several hundred thousand years of successfully procreating ancestors... it is built into you to succeed at this. Your problems are behavior related. Take a hard honest look.

>>42360025
good post

>tfw your girl says the most romantic thing ever after cumming
"Anon I want to lay in your arms tonight and eat things that don't fit our macros."

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>>42360025
the problem is I'm aware that I can attractive women, but not the right kind. Looking at behavior, I want to get to know the girl before I do anything. This is what I believe turns the girls off; they don't want me enough to be in a relationship but find me attractive enough for a quick fling before moving to better options.
I've tried introspection, tried to be more assertive this time, didnt work. All humans are meant to breed, but not all of them succeed. This is a different time like you stated

>>42360242
>I want to get to know the girl before I do anything.
You are treating "dating" like "wife interviewing" which is too serious and women will sense this and run. It needs to be fun and free before it gets serious.

>>42360356
wife interviewing? there's nothing wrong with wanting to get to know a person before you try and fuck them.
hookup culture isn't appealing to everyone

Broke up with gf of 2.5 years. Was inevitable but still not happy about it. Feeling sorta down. Still hitting gym hard but hearts not as in it as it was.

>>42360541
I'm not saying you should hookup, but your focus should be fun. It needs to be light hearted, not an interrogation. When you bring a serious mindest to an encounter it oozes off you, and women feel it in the interaction.

>>42360541
...but hey, keep doing what you're doing and maybe it'll eventually luckily (randomly) result in a happy successful relationship.

>>42357015
who cares, the experiences you had travelling were surely worth more than a few pounds on a barbell

>>42360750
maybe i worded it poorly
i dont like going up to strangers, its more comfortable for me to become friends with the girl at least and then go from there. Hence my problem. I can flirt with strangers but I don't like shitting where I sleep if you understand. I view her like a friend, till I get comfortable enough with her to progress. Girl's don't like this

>>42360933
>become friends with the girl at least and then
Yea, you friendzone yourself... which is stupid. You clearly need to unfuck your shit here... and stop self sabotaging. You have to be direct and state your intentions up front, then learn about her. Doing otherwise is confusing and creates more problems for you than you understand. If you come at a girl "as a friend" you signal to her that you're not interested and that her sexual market value isn't worthy of sexual interest from you, plain and simple. Later, if you try to escalate you throw her off guard unless you're interested in spending years third wheeling while other, assertive, men simply take her hand and walk away. She's not doing anything wrong and won't feel bad because you're "just friends."

Better pay attention here anon... this is going to save you a lot of pain.

>>42359254
You're being a massive beta faggot. Tell her to either fuck off or become your girl. Literally just that.

>>42354889
GET OFF THIS BOARD AND GO TO THERAPY PLS THATS THE ONLY WAY U CAN SOCIALLY "MAKE IT"