>that guy who recites bible passages in between sets

>>42346762
That guy who stands directly in front of the dumbbell rack and does his set there

That's me, bro. You got a problem?

>that guy who hides under the equipment calling himself the gains goblin

>that guy who recites Koran passages in between sets

>that guy who has a wife/gf and they work out together and spot one another and look happy and healthy and also look like they're having fun and that guy will never be me

>that guy that washes your penis in the locker room

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>That guy who turns other gymgoers into living candles between sets

>>42346923
>that guy who stops his workout because the call to prayer goes off on his phone and he prays in between the elliptical machines

>>42346762
>not praying a decade of the rosary while you rest between each of your 5 sets
>not doing 3 exercises per session so you can pray the entire rosary at the gym
>wanting to go to hell this badly

>>42347801
hell yeah
also
>that black guy who wears sunglasses and a full tracksuit in the gym

>>42346762
>that guy who thinks that salvation is through works and not through faith in Christ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fGxOCJCRpA

>>42346907

Th-that sounds like an actual gains goblin. When was the last time you measured your biceps? You might be shocked

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>>42346762
>that guy who stands as close to the mirror as possible and kisses his reflection when he thinks no one is looking while curling a 10lb dumbbell

>>42348056
>when schismatics set foot in the hallowed gym

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>that guy doing a backflip at the end of each set

>that guy who wears a frock to do preacher curls

>that BASED nigger who wears a MAGA hat while he lifts

>that guy who brought his wing cap to the gym but couldn't made the triple jump to fly because there wasn't enough space

>that guy who recites the Bible in its entirety while running a 4 minute mile

>that guy who splits open water fountains when I'm having a sip saying he's just "passing through"

>that guy who wears full leather bondage gear to the gym
I'm going to tell him off next time I see him, show him who's really boss of this gym

>>42348652
Aww. You got a chuckle out of me.

>>42346762
>tha t gyu who tshooe[ to bacaridii betwaooekr n sett

>the guy who listens to Hezbollah March on repeat during squats/OHP

>The guy who only squats/OHP

>The guy who mutters "Medet Ya Ali" with every rep


Literally me

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>that guy who sips living water in between sets

> that Satanist lifter that tries to summon the dead every deadlift set

>>42348549
>that guy who backwards long jumps on the stairmaster

>>42348787
meant
>>42348589

>that old guy who's naked in the change room when you first arrive and finish

>>42346934
Your penis or my penis?

>that guy who is not you

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>That guy who fucks your girlfriend and sacrifices you to become a demon in-between sets.

>that guy who takes a crossbow to the gym
>that guy who threatens to shoot the powerlifter doing deadlifts if he doesn't cease his practice of the heretical arts

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>that guy who yells kaio-ken after every rep

>>42348699
Aww your drunk hydrate pls

>>42348903
Both.

>that guy who homegyms in full nude

>that guy who sacktaps himself doing barbell shrugs

>That guy who does the Naruto hand signs before every set

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>>42348987

>that guy who wears a weighted vest/rucksack on the treadmill

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>that guy who escaped the cycle of samsara while doing heavy squats and *blinked* out of existence
>didn't re-rack his weights first

>>42346762
>that guy who brings girls to the gym

>>42348870
>That old naked guy with balls that look like some sort of furry medevial flail and tits down to his waist who insists on giving other guys little "pep talks" in the change room before taking the only dryer to dry his balls

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>>42348917
>that guy who is you

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>>42349135

>That """power lifter""" guy who brings a legit full meal to the gym and looks like he's going to throw up during all his lifts

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>>42346762
>that guy who rubs the dumbbells for good luck

>That out of shape balding dad who brings his little kids to the gym and lets them run all over the place making a mess and getting themselves hurt

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>>42349135

>that guy who molested a kid and went to prison, got /fit/ to defend himself, then got out and opened a gym
I always knew there was something wrong with powerlifters.

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>>42346762
>recites bible passages in between sets

When will /fit/ take the /christian/ pill?

>>42348652
how much is fisting?

>>42348699
????????

>>42346927
the fucking worst, they never make any gains either

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>>42349192
>the guy who we are

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>that guy who refuses to sit down in between sets because his asscrack sweat will show on his shorts

>>42346994

>that guy who preps his suicide vest in the locker room and always wears a black headband with arabic script.

All the sacrifices and offerings a man desiring merit could make in a year in the world are not
worth a quarter of the better merit of homage to the righteous. 108

Four principal things increase in the man who is respectful and always honours his elders --
length of life, good looks, happiness and health. 109

One is one's own guardian. What other guardian could one have? With oneself well disciplined
one obtains a rare guardian indeed. 160

The evil he has done himself and which had its origin and being in himself breaks a fool, like a
diamond breaks a precious stone. 161

A man of great immorality is like a creeper, suffocating the tree it is on. He does to himself just
what an enemy would wish him. 162

One should not neglect one's own welfare for that of someone else, however great. When one
has understood what one's own welfare really consists of, one should apply oneself to that
welfare. 166

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>that guy who blows a no-handed snot rocket after a squat set

>be member of the Opus Dei, go to bathroom to pee
>when grabbing my penis the paper between my hand and it breaks and I accidentally touch it
>run to the nearest catholic church while suffering an anxiety attack
> knowing that if I die on my way before confessing and being forgiven by the ministers of god I could go to hell

Opus is one really crazy sect. I bet you guys think I am exagerating.

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>>42346762
>that guy who makes that guy threads on /fit/ in between sets

>that guy who uses week old cum to help his grip on the weights

>he doesn't recite the Shepherd's prayer before maxing a deadlift

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>>42346762

>The path of the Lifting Man is beset on all sides by the inequities of HAES, and the tyranny of broscience. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and functional strength, instructs the weak in proper lifting form, for he is truly his brother's spotter, and the reformer of half-squatters. And I will strike down upon thee with great protein farts, and furious autism, those who would attempt to curl in the squat rack. And you will KNOW that I am the Lord, when I hoist this weight before you.

I've been saying that shit for years, and if you heard it, it meant a PR. You'd be mirin' right now. I never gave much thought to what it meant, I just through it was some cold blooded shit to say before I pulled LMAO6PLAYT. But I read SS this morning, and it made me think different. See, now I'm thinking it means that you're HAES, and I'm the Lifting Man, and Mr Barbell is the one instructing my lifting ass in the ways of functional strength. Or it could mean that you're the Lifting Man, and I'm the coach, and it's the world that's HAES and broscience. I'd like that, but that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak, and I'm the tyranny of broscience. But I'm trying, Anon, I'm trying real hard to be the coach.

And if you read this in my voice, you must announce it

>that guy who avatarfags as bart simpson on /fit/

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>>42346762
>That girl who dilates her neo-vagina inbetween sets

>>42346927
Delet this.

>>42346762
Hey, that guy is going to save us from shitskins when the race war breaks out. Give him some respect.

DEUS VULT

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>That guy who fucks Daedric princes and achieves CHIM in between sets

>that guy wearing a belt on chest day and making frog sounds during his bench press sets

>>42350953
Say the pigskin that his ancestors raped and destroyed rome and greece

Why are germanics like this?

Why do they think they are the good guys?

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>>42346869
>>42347940
>>42348573
>>42349084
>>42349123
>>42350058
>>42350456
all unironically me

>>42351717
>that guy wearing a belt
enough said

>>42346762
>that guy who counts how much times he lifted weights, how much times he throw the ball trough the basket, how much times he held weights for 30s, how much times he done exercises, how much he did this, how much time he did that

>>42352155
no no no no no.
this is what everyone should be doing. If you aren't making excel spreadsheets and plotting your success making linear regression models for where you expect yourself to be in the future YOU ARE KEKING YOURSELF.

>>42352236
ok, but i forgot to put autistically in the greentext

>>42348549
WAHT A SIIICK CUNT

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>>42347801
>>42348527
>>42349235
>>42350953

Swole Monastery, when?

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>>42348987
>Mumen Rider

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>that guy, who instead of just lowering the pins on the squat rack, goes up on his tippy toes to unrack the bar

>that guy that changes the channel to cartoon network before doing his cardio.

>>42348652
Fuck you

>>42352096
>that guy whose pants fall down

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>>42348924
>the I am the guy being sacraficed and being cucked

>>42348056
Sup brother -- are you in church?

>>42346907
>>42348482
Yeah man, get that shit checked out, no joke. My buddy works at a gym and he just casually checked security footage and actually saw multiple of them come out at night

>>42356779
>That guy that placed it in the same place as a manga character, even though one of the strict rules of the mangu is that everyone has it in a different spot.

Nice going, chump.

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>>42356779
>>42358107
>tfw it'll take me years to get over God Hand so I'll never be able to read Berserk until it's fully finished
>tfw scared if I read it it'll influence my writing to the point of outright plagiarism
guts got off easy, this is true agony

>>42358107
nigger I got a tattoo from a mango about an edgy guy carrying a 400 lbs sword who fights monsters to cure his retarded gf, and you think the placement is the dumbest thing about the it?

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>guy finishes workout
>stares at himself in the mirror for a solid 30 minutes and barely blinks
>whispers "God will have to beg for my forgiveness" to himself before leaving

>that guy who browses reddit

op is a retarded atheist

>>42346762

>that guy who cracks his fingers in between sets
>his fingers are bony, long as fuck and look like they'd break any moment and can't stay straight without help
>that's me

>that guy who holds onto the treadmill bars and lets his legs be slowly dragged at 10mph because he is scared cardio will kill his gains but mummy requires tready time

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>that brown bearded man who keeps muttering about american imperialism, infidels, yawm al-din, and sings nasheed in between sets

>that guy who does flat bench and OHP with the trap bar
I want to try it t b h but he's always there at the same time as me and I know he'll see me as copying him and thus submitting to him as my alpha

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>>42347801

This

>>42346927
That's me, we make tons of gains

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>>42346762
is that a problem OP?

>that guy who says he's Christian but has a tattoo

Enjoy damnation sucker

>>42357388
I've actually never been, I've been saved for about a year and a half and didn't grow up in a Christian family
I know I should though, it doesn't help that I work on Sundays, I know that God isn't happy with me forsaking the assembly of my fellow Christians

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>>42346762
>not lifting for the Lord on high