>bulk license expires tommorow

>>42321065
>gym gentleman stacked my weights for me and challenged me to a duel for not doing it myself

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>yearly penis inspection day at my school on Monday.

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>bulk license ran out last month
>didn't realize it until the cops showed up

They knocked my fucking door down with a battering ram and took my milk and peanut butter. The cop gave me an ankle bracelet like goddamn felons wear so they can see if I get too close to fast food places

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>Gym nemesis left caltrops in the squat rack again
Today I would have tried for a PR too. Fuck.

>>42321111
Too bad, you got good quads anyway

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>tfw getting audited for frauding my gains tax

>gym Priest runs out of mana for the day
>have to workout without buffs

>>42321065
>>42321087
>>42321109
>>42321111
>>42321135
>>42321143
>>42321164
>>42321172
INCLUDE ME IN THE REDDIT SCREEN CAP

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>>42321065
> tfw too scared to renew bulk license because ICE is staking out the local Department of Athletic Gains

>Armenians moved into my gym and settled down close to the free weights
>now the entire gym smells like grilled onions
>can't even get a workout without being offered "discounted" prices on weights

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>gym clown ran out of balloon animals

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>>42321065
>tfw gym employee forgot to lock the manlet pit again

>>42321179
Epic reddit reference bro!

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>forgot to clean the communal squat plug

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>>42321065
>was cutting but my therapist asked me about the straight lines across my arms

>>42321194
you are lucky, when this happens at my gym the sell the plates and barbells as scrap metal

>decline bench press
>do it anyway

>>42321511
Lost

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>body is 30% mercury from eating tuna
>weather takes a turn for the worse, super low barometric pressure
>lose three inches in height
>confined to my gym's manlet pit

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>people on /fit/ unironically post frogs

summer is still fresh

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>the squat inspector is here today and I forgot my plug

>>42321889
>implying most of us aren't autistic virgins as well

>get Qt gymnast gf
>Get married
>We receive our wedding rings
>She suspends them from the ceiling and starts doing muscle ups
>Mfw when I can't even do 1

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>>42322767
Didn't post pic

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>>42321065
>didn't tip the receptionist today

>tfw I lost my pocket barbell somewhere in the creatine mines

What do I do now?

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>rented treadmill for the day
>forgot to rewind it before returning

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>lost the keys to the power cage
>gonna be locked in overnight again

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>Plate dispenser ate my quarters again.
>Whatever I'll workout on my rest day
>Plan to go see movie with chick I met on tinder
>Shes a no show
>Forced to stay in the singles only theater

>>42321065
>cut license expires tomorrow

>>42321172
>He needs buffs to work out
I bet you also use a belt

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>Gym replaced oly lifting with oily lifting

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>>42321065
>received a citation in the mail for excessive e-statting

>tfw you leave your lifting socks at home

>>42321179
I hope you get publicly banned

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>It's safety inspection day at the gym
>I left my squat plug at home

>>42323079
sounds erotic

>manlets getting broken over abroller wheels for racking the bars too low

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>deadlifts aren't available in my language
>have to use subtitles

>the pre-workout tank burst and spilled into the manlet pit

The little buggers started hopping around like the flea men from Castlevania

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>gym manager unlocked the roid monkey cage while the manlet pit was open

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>change room helper puts my shirt on backwards and doesn't apply enough deodorant to my underarms
>still expects a tip

>>42323160

obvious bait is obvious

just use the communal squat plug

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>>42321889
>he posted a non lewd Kanna
I'M FED UP WITH THIS WORLD

>>42323227
but nobody cleans them nowadays...

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>gym liege keeps raising the gains tithe
>threatened to send our children to the protein mines if we revolt

We're never gonna make it through the winter with arms this thin.

>tfw always long lines at the Mcdonalds in my gym

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>>42321702
Underrated post.

>bros keep on running into my clothes lines in the steam room
>all my muscle tees have wrinkles

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>>42323257

are you trolling? you clean it with your mouth what do you think

>2017
>not licking your gymbro's sweat off of the communal buttplug

it's like you don't even care about gains lmao

>Smith machine replaced with a middle aged man named Smith

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>curl assistant forgot to wax and sweep the floor in front of the curling rack again

>try to cut
>gym bulk buddy shoves peanut butter down my throat

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>>42321889

>the gym trap you have been sucking off for gains tells you he's not Natty
What the fuck do I do

>tear my lifting lingerie squatting
>gym bro is 2 cup sizes bigger
Any other anons get caught stuffing at the gym?

>>42321179
Mods can we please perma-ban fags that reply all and cite reddit in any capacity?

>>42321702
>attaining manlet status after losing only 3 inches
Not sure why anyone under 6'4 feels comfortable posting publicly on /fit/

>brakes are broken on gym bikes
>coasting in place until I got pulled off

wew laddy

>>42323763
>posting an image that was confirmed to be made by a salty summerfag

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>tfw they send me to the weenie gym for not answering correctly on the surprise pop quiz

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>left the squat rack in neutral
>cant remember if i pulled the hand break

>>42322986
At least your theater has a singles section. Mine won't even let me inside by myself.

>>42323870
maybe he was 6'6 and he lost 3 inches to be thrown in the manlet pit

>Border patrol caught me trying to mule 20 kilos of gains from Mexico
>Sentenced to 20 years in the protein mines

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>>42321065
>tfw plate dispenser dropped me two instead one.

>Spent all my 45lb plates at the quarter dispenser

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>forgot to bring summer pies
>fall off bars into manlet pit

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>left the smith machine on all night
>addy bars everywhere

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>go to hospital
>kicked out for deadlifting in the morgue

>>42321440
Honestly I think it's everybody's responsibility to clean it before you use it. This way, if the person before you didn't clean it, it only is a dirty squat plug going in their own ass, not yours.

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>>42322851

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>exercise balls
>testicular torsion

>>42323870
>this person is 5'7

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>failed cutting license test third time in a row
Should I just kill myself, brehs?

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>ring barbell
>bartender racks my weights for me

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>be 5'4 skelly manlet
>start lifting
>squats and oats because fit said so
>gain 30 pounds and it all goes to my ass
>gym futa starts hanging around me a lot more, complementing my form during romanian deadlifts
>pounces while I'm doing back extensions
>can't shake her off, if you stop in the middle of the set you lose your gains
>she jams her fucking horsecock into my ass
>delivers a liter of protein right into my stomach
we're dating now, but now I'm shopping for a new squat plug, my old one falls right out now. any recommendations?

>>42321511
>chin ups
>still sad

>>42321889
i will never not like the frogs

>>42324605
yea I recommend kys

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>training calves
>gains goblins steal my whole herd

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>mountain climbers
>still at sea level

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>buy an altitude mask
>still not a big guy

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>>42324651

>>42323860
I dont go on reddit and find this funny. Stfu

>>42323843
Well hand in your natty card to the gains police for starters

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>>42324479
>mfw

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>gym milf runs dry
>without the perfect gains food I stop hitting PRs and plateau
anybody lift at Golds? I hear they tend to hire gym milfs with bigger milk tanks (H cup+)

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>going to the gym
>shit, forgot my shake, guess I'll have to use the gains dispenser
>press the button, place the tube in my mouth
>mfw the gym replaced the semen with greek yogurt because of complaints
How am I supposed to get macros like this?

>try to clean & jerk
>kicked out for indecent exposure

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>trying to do dumbbell press
>all the left-handed dumbbells are taken
>try to use two right handed ones and snap my shit up

>>42324851
KEK

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>snuck out of the manlet pit today when the attendant had to go refill the plate dispenser

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>tfw can't do compound lifts because my barbell is still under construction at the barbell smith

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>sweaty Portuguese not wiping down equipment after use
>had to call in sick to my doctors appointment

>>42321702
Love this

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>>42324610

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>Sauna protein milk ran out
>Had to pour water over the coals like a dyel

>rowing machine out of order
>have to do deadlifts in the dark

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>>42321065
>mfw no fucking ashtrays in the new squat racks

>>42324914
>>42324696

have a (you) for mild hehe

>>42324551
oh my god, don't remind me of the pain

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>leg day
>enter gym
>pass my squat plug to the qt cashier
>failed cleanliness test
>have to try again tomorrow
>tomorrow is a chest day

>Apply to part-time as gym clown
>gym psychiatrist rules me unfit due to clinical depression
>gym leader gives his medal to some fag 10yo from pallet town
Any Suicide method without equipment?

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>tfw gym is busy
>only left-handed barbells available

>>42323069
>not using a belt of +5 endurance to do more exercise and thus get far bigger gains than would be normally possible

you nattyfags crack me up... and not just with your PR

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>slavs overrun squat racks

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>the squat inspector wrote me a ticket for not going ass to grass
>no money left to tip the receptionist

>gym pigeons swarming on top of the squat rack
>get shit on repeatedly

>>42321065
So start cutting fatass.

>>42323182
What fourth world country shit stain do you live in that your language isn't an option?

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>doing far routine 3xF in showers
>gym rat asks if i need a spot
>tell receptionist that they should call pest control
>she refuses because I didn't tip earlier

>get gym membership 70% off on holiday sale
>show up for first session
>big empty warehouse
>literally no one there, no furnishings, nothing
>turns out that literally every part of the gym is paywalled with DLC
>can't even switch to another gym because it's against the terms and conditions in the EULA and the gym lawyers will take me to court and have the sheriff seize my gains

>>42326997
I am sorry but what the fuck? is this real?

>6'0 on the dot
>deadlift day
>finish set
>turn around
>gym bouncers already waiting to escort me to the manlet pit

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>lunge
>id's only bregfast

>>42321179
>You will immediately cease and not continue to access the site if you are under the age of 18.
>You will not post any of the following outside of /b/: Trolls, ... off-topic replies ...
>The quality of posts is extremely important to this community. Contributors are encouraged to provide high-quality images and informative comments.
>No spamming or flooding of any kind. No intentionally evading spam or post filters.
>Advertising (all forms) is not welcome—this includes any type of referral linking, "offers", soliciting, begging, stream threads, etc.

>>42327186
>equipping the belt of endurance to do more exercise
>doing more exercise than you normally could
>having a stroke in the showers after unequipping the belt because you drop to negative HP
choose all three

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>>42321065
>forgot to rerack weights after last set of bench press
>some fucker reports it to the gym police
>got fined all my plate dispenser tokens and have to do machines only for the next month

>>42323255
>lewding kanna
You deserve the worst of deaths

>>42326914
"THEN WE SHALL LIFT IN THE DARK"

>>42327866
Lol, of course. Fucking newfags

>>42321179
Reverse IP Search this dude and finish him off pls?

>>42322784
Legit question. Do people really do this? I go to a club gym and the receptionists do nothing but greet at the front desk. I don't subscribe to the towel membership so I literally don't interact with them. Why do you guys pay more for an experience you are already paying a premium for?

>>42329251
Only tip the receptionist if your gym has penis inspection in the locker rooms.
Tip her well enough and you'll get a handy, and be placed at the top of the leader board.

>someone forgot to dry out the plates

>>42329251
>not tipping your receptionist
shiggidiggy

>>42321111
I've heard of a way. It's not something a /fit/izen would teach you.

A Clean Bulk.

>stupid slutty receptionisteft the manlets door open
>They broke free
>Gym on the verge of an international incident
>President is nationalizing any cop he can find to capture them
>Rack dispenser was out of order for the curlbros
>They use manlets instead

>>42324059
What stone age gym has a single plate dispenser?
Most new models dispense two by default,
unless the gym attendants don't stock them correctly because they're not certified.

>>42321065
>started my first test-e cycle 2 weeks ago
>only noticed today that I haven't handed in my natty card to my local gym authorities
I am a fraud now guys

>gang of evil vaseline warriors entered gym
>take the gym hostage
>forced us to do zumba before gympolice could arrest them

>Receive Dishonorable Discharge
>Can only do Standing Civillian Presses from now on

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>failed my entrance weigh-in at Planet Fitness this moving
>under 250 lbs
>sentenced to mandatory counselling until they feel my eating disorder has been resolved

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>>42327160

>tfw left handed

>>42321194
Grilled onions are the best smell.

>decide to do some shoulder work
>Gym is divided into sections
>Russians in the squatting section
>Nothing but females in the shoulder section
Did some meme catch on with women, why are do many working their traps? None of them look like they lift though.

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>>42321065
>bulked over state limit for my height/weight limit
>the gestapo sent me to the camp for a week as part of my mandatory cutting session

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>>42323182
>Rogue blocked squats in my country

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>gym bard plays despacito for the 10000th time
Fucking swear to god

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>gym mages try to train strength and magic at the same time
>fucking bake pie spell is enticing me to betray my macros
>gains goblin casting blood barrage tries to steal health but gets rekt by barbell archers
>smile to self when one of them accidentally alchs his dumbbells

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>>42321065
>gym shaman's day off
>black wizard doesnt know flexibility spells

>came too late to the chest day mass
>ponticeps maximus denies to give me the weekly blessing
>have to lift in the sinners area for the week

I fucking hate the nattican

>gym commissar notices I've been making too many gains
>redistributed them to the rest of the gym

>>42321065
>gym utters need milking, but my hands are full of weightlifting stuff so I cannot milk them

>>42330104
the one by the t-bar machine dispenses one you dipshit

>tfw t-bar machine lease is up for review and they want to raise the price

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>>42323902
>accidentally did this once
>squat rack rolled into the supplement lane and blocked the whey hydrant
>swolefighters showed up and couldn't park their rowing machine
>had to pay to get rack towed and got two points taken off my bulking license

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>Get to gym day after daylight savings time
>forget to set phone to correct hour
>At 5:00PM, gym rodeo clown comes out
>Think "fuck", it's only 4:00PM, forgot about DST
>I try to run and hide but he lassos me up
>I'm forced to clean the vomit from the vomit room and re-rack the weights
>mfw I should've set my time right

>>42328264
big mistake by not wearing elevated lifts if you're on the cusp, bro.

>gym removes protein fountains
Fuck this gym. Literally a shit hole.

>I bought brown rice again, because I bought into the low glycemic index meme

J U S T

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>>42324838

> 2017
> not doing milfhancements for your gym

>>42334074

Holy fuck muh sides

>>42321065
>That stinky arab is doing barbell flies in the bathroom again

>>42321179
you should lurk a bit more before posting anything newfriend

>>42323763
I bet you're here for summer

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>>42321065
>>42321087
>>42321111
>>42321186
>>42323004
when will c(u)c(k)s learn

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>go to the gym
>plates are still hot from the dishwasher

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>rent stationary bike
>go to refill my water
>it's been clamped by the council

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>>42321065
>cuck card expired yesterday

>>42321179
Stop being a faggot

>>42329073
lol anyone else remember this?

>>42327310
lmao

>switched gyms years ago
>theres always a qt working the desk at the old gym
>too afraid to approach her to ask to cancel my membership there
>finally ask once
>she says it would be sad to see me go
>get nervous and agree to keep my membership despite knowing i will never use it
>soon to be out thousands of dollars

>>42332246
>traps
>only females
sneaky cunt

>wore my camo tank to the gym today
>no one can spot me

>baked some whey-taccos
>dip machine is occupied

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>the muscleteers are back in town
>I could tell because Anavaris, Arthrotos and Prothos bullied some dyel outside the gym
>inside all the barbells are being used for fencing practice, all dumbbells for dagger practice
>all the plates have been melted into bullets for the war against the Nevergains
>cardinal Piano de Richelieu has been hogging the cable machines for 8 hours straight now to crucify huge-nots
Sacrebleu

>>42321179
Somebody please ban this idiot

>>42340312
Kek

>>42321179
XDDD totally accurate my bro you sure showed them newfags :DDDDDD

>gym unlocks lifting tech 3
>bulking efficiency increased by 1%

>>42340838
>gym forgot to construct a pylon near the squat racks

>>42337638
gibe milki

>>42340312
lmao

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>gym mom is scaring away the cardiobunnies again

>>42340891
>>42340838
>some fatty tried to squat a fully loaded bar
>obviously failed
>took down the power cage
>all equipment not working
Everybody has been doing bodyweight for the past month.

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>tfw mom threw away all my weights because I'm "already the strongest man in the universe and every girl's dream guy!"

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>>42321179

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>>42321232
>>42324551

>>42329251
>I don't tip the receptionists
Dude, they fucking hate you.

>>42324458
>head to the park to do bodyweight exercise
>get PKed by a dozen faggots who KNOW I don't have any equipment
I want off this ride

>>42332548
wtf does my faggot gym always play this

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>be me
>go to ancap gym
>have to pay trespassing fee to get into the locker rooms
>walk over to free weight section
>a man with a whip is forcing child slaves to re-rack the plates of gym members
>decide to go benching
>forgot I didn't have a barbell
>walk to receptionist to rent a barbell for a mere .25 bitcoin
>last set
>can't lock out
>bar falls on my chest
>two men dressed in uniform help me
>"sir do you have a McSpotter™ subscription?"
>I tell them I don't
>get dragged to the McCourt™
>court sentences me to hard labour in the manlet pit
>mfw

>go to atheist gym
>kicked out for doing preacher curls

>walk into paraplegic gym
>kindly get asked to leave