Friday Feels

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I talked with my mother on the phone last night and I was astonished at how well it went. She has seen how much mental anguish I've been in but usually any attempt of her trying to understand or help was frustrating for both of us. She's not too bright but she at last gets where I'm at in deciding that I may face a life that is not worth living. And at last, rather than try to say that somehow some professional could help me get over this she will try to get my raison d'etre back. If it doesn't work she understands my reasoning to an hero.

Gonna go and hop on the radial saw and finish my custom computer case/sculpture and play on my rings and with some KBs. Tonight mistress is coming over to hang/bang. (She is married, I am not).

Another day, another battle with the fight between my diminishing self worth and my narcissistic ego.

But a coworker told me that I've slimmed down since I started IF 2 months ago.

That was nice.

>tfw I no longer feel feels
Today was core work.
First time I've nailed 3X10 hanging leg raises with my legs fully extended and feet raised above head.

>>42223483
you gonna an hero anon?

Swimming at the river then dancing in the evening. Almost 10 months sober and I still get down without that courage juice. Insecurity is a meme, we're all gunna make it bros.

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>tfw the compost teat on my peppers is working wonders
I'm about to get into vermaculture. The flea market near my house has a lot of fruit and veggies they toss out, I'm going to get overripe fruit to make compost gains
>tfw slimming down feel lighter
>can do 60 lb dumbbells shoulder press now, my proudest moment
>tfw Dragon ball super is going to be on tomorrow
>feeling good
>discovered bananas have very few calories and been eating more lately
>waxworms are coming in the mail, going to breed them

The bad: I still have a shitty life.

The neither bad nor good:
- I'll try to do some physical activity once a day while the boxing gym is closed (until september...) because I've been pretty lazy for the past 2 months. Climbing and swimming are on my agenda
- Apple Music's recommendations suck, I switched back to Spotify which is buggy but has good playlists
- a coworker also told me that I lost weight (sadly not a girl but I still appreciate compliments especially since it's the first in my life that I ever received)

The good:
- I keep on lifting and doing bodyweight exercises religiously (every other day I alternate between weight and bodyweight)
- I try to keep on meditating because it's good for my brain
- I lost 4 lbs again, my ultimate-mega-goal weight may be achieved in less than 4 months

I've been thinking lately of my father, and how his life was destroyed by my mother and her manipulating us children to hate him, and how it all drove him to alcoholism and mental illness. He built a house for us, fed us and took care of us, and in return he had his family turn their back on him. I will never forgive myself, and I will carry this regret to my grave. The only thing I can do in this life is to make sure such unjustice never happens again, and even then I deserve to burn in hell for sometime after my life has left this world.

>I have an ingrown hair on my armpit and it hurts
>My neck is sore because I slept funny
>I haven't been on a tanning bed in over a week so no I'm pale
>I need a haircut but I don't have enough conversation in me to see a barber
>I didn't go to the gym today because I played PlayStation all day

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>>42224002

That is the current trajectory. I've had copious amounts of time and isolation to examine my options. I'm far from one to throw in the towel after getting hit on the nose but I've concluded that I can not tackle the myriad of obstacles nor grow or enjoy life without my best friend who tore her page out of the book of my life. This isn't a hysterical and immature opinion. My ethics and philosophy have led me to understand that I face a life that is not worth living. Of course I'm not stoked about that prospect. It may be a nightmare but it is the future I chose.

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I Plan to do a pull session tonight. I've been going out a lot all week to [spoiler]goth nights[/spoiler] so I don't feel the need to do anything special today. Fridays are more like Mondays to me considering my work schedule.

>>42223307
That picture is soothing. Love snow.

Lads I'm pretty sure my dad has cancer.

>Smoked for 30 years
>Recently quit
>Haven't seen him in awhile.
>Took him to lunch this week
>He's chewing his food funny.
>Ask him about it
>"Yeah I've had this weird bubble in my mouth for a few months now, when I bite it, it bleeds like crazy, it's been getting a bit bigger every few weeks"
>Doesn't want to go see a doctor for it.
>I insist I'll pay for it, he's too stubborn.
>Tell him if he doesn't go by October I'm forcing him too.

Pretty sure it's a fucking tumor. His teeth are a wreck and all the signs point toward it. He's been distant ever since I got married. He doesn't relate to my wife well and doesn't care to try. As a result we see each other much anymore. Used to be my best friend :(

Feels bad bros

Probably going to drink screwdrivers, listen to Type-O-Negative, do weighted dips, and then cry

The Good
>tfw a black qt eyefucked me at work today
>tfw it was so obvious, that even my boss who was sitting across from me made note of it.

The Bad
>I possibly have a cancerous mole on my arm

The Ugly
>my whore of a fuck buddy recently got an STD from fucking a dude who already had a girlfriend


Yeahh...

Rest day, got work and then I'm going to see Dunkirk with some pals.
It's also payday :3

>>42224494
That is a fucking heavy feel. Sounds a lot like my dad. I hope you can convince him to seek medical attention. And i hope ypu can be a better father.

>>42224554
Your life sounds disgusting.

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Finishing Community College next year and decided to enlist in the Navy rather than go to Uni
I don't have any motivation or interest in completing a degree and putting myself tens of thousands in debt not to mention the job market is shit

Im hoping someday I can make officer or join the military police

Post more comfy images like OP please. It's all I request tonight....

>>42224619
My life is pretty comfy anon. Just a few blemishes, that is all.

Btw, stay away from sloots you meet on tinder

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>gained about 3kgs in the past 1,5 months since I started lifting
>back and wrist pain gone at work
I can't really notice any difference in looks. Hopefully it's not just fat

Also:
>supposed to go climbing with buddy
>he flocks on me
>arrange meet-up with another buddy in the evening
>he flocks on me too

Just kill me anons. Yesterday was my birthday and I wanna go out and do exciting things. Now I sit home alone drinking beer. Fuck this gay earth

>>42224620
Do not become a MP you retard. That is one of the worst jobs you could do.

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>>42223307
>spent 100eur to see some girl to a concert
>shes borderline neet and anti-social
>otherwise perfect personality
>facebook page says single
>she acts all nice
>fucking rejects me 1hr before the concert starts
>anon i-i-i-i h-h-have a boyfriend
>ditched her
>stuck around just to listen to the music
>ran to the pub straight after
>absolutely pissed rn
>have to catch a train in 6 hours
>despite all this I'm seeing a really good friend that I haven't seen for years tomorrow
Could be better lads, atleast my saturday will be great if the hangover doesn't kill me

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I don't even know what to say right now

This whole week has been hell with work, every dept involved on my projects have fucked up and set me back a long time now. They fucked everything up and they will probably try to say why didn't I know about this or that etc... I'm not in sales, sales fucked up from three months ago and they will ask me why I didn't review sales work?

I'm not in sales, nor am I associated with them in any way. I have to be honest, if you are in sales get your fucking shit together and do your job according to plan.


This week has been very, very tough on me..

>>42223483
Hadn't talked with my mom in over two years
You'll be okay anon. Your life is worth living, and I know you can make it.
Have you tried giving Peterson a listen?

>took 240 mg of codeine
>fapped for an hour
Good time desu

>>42224713
I'm sorry anon. I hope you have a good time with your friend and forget about gold digging turbo whores

>>42224276
Shit anon I know that feel
I'll never be able to make my dad up for the time we lost, I'll never get another chance to grow up normally outside the drama my mom used to conjure, and I still can't maintain a decent relationship with anyone except gf and she basically had to catch me by the ear and explain it slowly.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Rescue the father from the underworld?

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>>42224634
Here for you, buddy. Felt like a literal shit today and yesterday, can't even enjoy movies or games but I still managed to do some running yesterday and some full body training today, so I guess it's going pretty good. Didn't meet up with friends for half a year now so doing workout is good against loneliness. It still hurts though.

I started my cut today. I'm gonna eat more veggies and less rice, drink more water too. I hope I can keep this diet up

I hit some shoulders and back today, went pretty good but I hurt my right shoulder. Gonna see on sunday how it feels

Some girl I don't know messaged me on Facebook with a picture outside my door. I don't know what she's up to and I'm way too paranoid of a person not to think anything of it

I realised I'm probably not gonna get laid any time soon. Tinder is not worknig for me (and hasn't the last two years I've had it), and the only friends I have are either on vacation or simply don't wanna hang out with me
On the other hand I don't think too much of it because I'm still young and have a lot to learn about social interactions, so it'll come with time

Right now I'm having a beer (not the best thing post-workout), but it cools me down and helps me sleep

>>42223307
> Didn't meet up with friends for half a year now so doing workout is good against loneliness. It still hurts though.
Damn this hit too close to home

inwork in a warehouse
i want to kill my coworkers
dont even dislike them
just have this thought in my head
i have. box cutter in my pocket at all times
it would be so easy to just take a quick swing and slit someones throat
i think about it all day

Another leg day coasting through life. Could be worse. As a skeleton trying to get fit I'm fucking sick of food. I need some appetite gains to get this shit down faster. Every pound is a small victory.

>>42224773
Thanks man and if anything this was a wake up call and a learning expierence. Won't make the same mistakes again.

/fat/anon here

going out with friends tonight to a tasty restaurant. I've been fasting all day, just drinking water and coffee and a soda. Already have my meal planned out using nutrition info from the restaurant's website. Think I will have an alcoholic beverage too, but only one. Maybe split a dessert with someone.

My progress so far is good, but I wish it was faster.

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>>42223307
Today is my last day at work in a job field I really hated (drafting). Tomorrow I will be unemployed. I have substantial savings, I'm considering traveling for the next 6 months, maybe backpacking SE Asia or motorcycle touring around the US. After that my 33-year old ass will enroll in a certification program for my next field. For the first time in many, many years I'm excited about the future.

>yet another friday evening spent lonely

oh why

>>42224865
DIET soda, of course. Cherry Coke Zero.

>>42224870
Meant to add: Pull day next, my favorite day. Looking forward to getting my pullups higher, always one of my favorite exercises.

>>42224865
anon if there are two things that steal gains it's soda and desserts, worst of all ice cream

>>42223483
>>42224385
fucking cringe. all this over a woman?

>>42224494

I can relate to this with a cousin of mine. We were basically brothers, now we aren't anymore for a very similar reason. People eventually have to go their separate ways though. That's not to say you can't have friends anymore, just you know... It does suck though. It's like swallowing a rock that gets caught in your chest or something and leaves that heavy feeling.

>>42223307
Just graduated electrical engineering. Bumming around at home while job searching. Nice to spend more time with my family again but I'm getting very bored.

Really just want the next stage of my life to start. Anyone hiring in Toronto/Ottawa/Montreal?

Good feels is I got my old friends to lift with me

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any 25+ in the house?
>tfw no friends

>>42224276
Our mum did the same thing. This shit happens way too often and it's sick. You shouldn't feel guilty anon, just pay your debt by not living your life in the shadow of these events and choose your woman carefully. Godspeed

>>42224936
Yes. Same shit here

Broke up with my gf 2 months ago. Got invited to a party I know she's going to be at tonight. Been lifting almost every day. 40 pounds lighter then when she left me. Should I go to this party?

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>>42224936
28 here
>next full week off work
>colleagues ask what I'm going to do with my time off
>tell them nothing, just going to chill at home and relax
>ask me why I don't have plans to go out and do shit
>"omg anon don't you have any friends?"
>mfw I don't

>>42223307
Feeling good after a failed relationship and months of serious debilitating oneitis. I'm honestly okay with being alone (for now). It would be nice to have a girl to pound out tonight but I just can't be fucked to put in the effort.

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>tfw the only thing i have to look forward to is lifting at the gym
I love the pain of time under tensions
I love the pain of refusing delicious food
it will pay off

>>42224848
Seek professional help

>>42224385
So this is what bitch made looks like. lol I'm glad I was born with a big dick and African. Cant get your heart broken when you are breaking their pelvic bone

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>>42224385
why not roid the fuck up and get joocy before you off yourself?

>>42225142
This post is retarded. Big dick guys get their hearts broken. My cousin slings 9 inches and has been heartbroken. Another 7+ still ended up getting cheated on. Yet another 8+. In fact I cucked a guy who I found out has a big dick. I'm like 6.2 and broke lol. Dick size doesn't mean much

>>42225142
Nigger detected

>>42224882
Diet soda, of course.

>>42224936
32 y/o here senpai.

I have friends, I'd just rather be alone a lot of the time. I've just always been solitary.

I'm never going to make it, I'm physically fit and strong but also disfigured. I should just kill myself but I'm too much of a pussy.

>>42224235
Yeah Apple Music's suggestions are kinda trash. Google Musics aren't that much better. I've never used spotify, would you recommend?

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>>42224906

>all this over a woman?

Well, she is a female but "all this" isn't just her. We went to Middle/HS together though we weren't really friends. She went off to college out of state and when she got back we hooked up and ended up becoming best friends and dated for six years. We separated but remained good friends. I dated and moved in with a younger girl who one day showed to my work with all my belongings in my car. I slept next to the gang box on the job site for a week before I went back to my parents house. That weekend I got a DUI and lost my job. I was suicidal and crushed. I got back with my old Olympic weightlifting coach and began to FaceTime with my old gf every night. A few times I was planning to shoot myself through the chest with my .45 ACP after talking to her (she didn't know that) but I hung on each time after making her laugh. She had bought a home and I was doing some handyman work for her and showing her how to do maintenance. Of course, we started to fuck again. I was on bond for my DUI and so I was sober. She started to fall in love with me again. I was still pretty heartbroken over the younger girl but I loved my friend too.

One day out of nowhere the young girl sent me an email with the picture of her cat. I called her and we tearfully made up and fucked that night. My fortunes had changed dramatically: I was now fucking both of them and could choose either. I made the wrong choice after a month of "cheating" on both of them. I betrayed my best friend and moved back in with the young girl.

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>>42224906
>>42225297

My old gf and I would still talk on the phone about once a month but she was very hurt. Last summer the younger girl decided to take a semester of classes back East so she could be close to family. She left her cat with me. A month after she had left she sent me a text: "I am not returning. Please forget about me."

My old best friend would not respond to me. I was facing a risky procedure and wanted so badly to have her support. She sent me a text and said "you are no longer a part of my life"

I always thought she'd never leave my life and I had abused that. I learned only through her definite absence how much she means to me. I respect her wishes and do not contact her except for last December when I left a voicemail. I was attempting suicide through a heroin OD.

Claire is the Higgs Boson of my universe.

I miss my best friend. I've concluded that not only do I have extreme difficulty self-actualizing, overcoming issues, or devoting myself to anything without her but I also face a lifetime without her in it and that is not worth living.

>>42224824
Woah anon, so you're telling me some girl messaged you a picture of YOUR OWN front door? I'm confused.

>>42224793
>>42224958
Thanks anons, it helps to hear that others too know this pain. You guys are correct about the gf thing, she's one of the only people who knows my background and understands, and before that this broken personality of mine almost caused us to break up. I wish to do good things to her and my father, and to many people who experience unjustified suffering. The funny thing about all of this is that my mother and sisters do not know how much I know and understand now after all these years of brainwashing, and I'm about to start some shit in the upcoming months, not revenge or anything like that, but a kind of poetic justice.

>>42225319
Yeah, apparently we were snapping eachother a couple months ago but I completely forgot who she is

>>42224936
27 here, have friends but i have to work tonight.

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>>42223307
>>42224235
>>42224554
I like this format for these threads, im not trying to read a novel here guys.

>Bad
Went on two month cut without working out , found out today I can't deadlift 3 pl8s anymore

>okay
Went to medical school orientation, and a lot of people seem cold or sperg like. Might just be the first day of school jitters.
>Good
Weekend is here, time to do some meal prep. I really like cooking and getting my trash picked up. Gonna do meatballs, homemade yogurt, saffron rice, and a tzatziki sauce. Going to make Macrons for classmates that I'll be working with.

>>42225297
>>42225318
Wow, still cringe. You're a fucking fool and all of your pain is self-inflicted. Find something else to live for other than some bitch you wronged.

I'm probably gonna see a girl I like at a party tonight

Pray for me, I'm gonna make it

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>>42225164

Haha, that is actually the plan.
>pic related

I'm happy that my mother understands now where I'm at. She may try and see if C knows what she means to me. If reconciliation doesn't happen she gets that I'm saying fuck this gay earth and its palliative care for me.

Could be fun for /fit/ to design my End Of The World cycle. No need for PCT.

>>42225365
Hey, I like it too!

>>42223307
The good
>got a nice raise at work
>casually fucking a coworker

the bad
>coworker is pressuring me into a relationship
>we are friends outside of work so any time we are out of work it feels date-y

the ugly
>the coworker

>>42225365
You should make sauerkraut sometime

>>42225344
So you don't remember anything about her? Did you guys ever meet up for anything? Is she stalking you now?

I have questions, damnit anon,

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>>42225365
>making macrons
>macrons
>mfw

>>42223307
Ex from HS wants to get drinks. Left me to decide the date we go hangout. Last time I saw her just broke her heart and all her friends hated me with a passion, didn't care cause I was going to zyzz land to bang sloots on a drug fueled gap year. How do I salvage this one boys. She lost weight since I dated her.

>>42225413
Didn't think of it. Actually been trying to get more fiber in, I'll pick up a head of cabbage this weekend.
Thanks anon.

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>>42225375

I'm well aware how my pain is self-inflicted. I do not think of myself as a victim. I have considered my options and possible solutions for a while. I'm not happy about an hero but I am also not going to be blindly optimistic and endure an indefinite time of an agonizing existence in expectation of a better future with dubious probability.

>>42225434
Whoops, that went bananas

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>>42223565
>Another day, another battle with the fight between my diminishing self worth and my narcissistic ego
DELET

>>42225502
This too shall pass.

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>>42225517

Idioms are for the birds

>>42223565
what IF are you doing breh? 16/8?

-1-

I'm 19.

I think i've killed the ego.
no, the opposite, i've made myself mindless.
I don't think about the situation before i act, i don't even procrastinate anymore, i just dont care, i ride out life based on old guidelines and experience that have been worn out from lack of scrutiny.I used to think things out and give time and plan for them, i felt the pressure from parents and peers, but now there is nothing for me to strive for, so i've lost all drive.
I smoked weed and masturbated 5 times today, I've beaten my dick into submission porn and far more depraved things, i drank an energy drink to give myself some life, i seldom used them in the past, and it was goal oriented, now it's just to keep myself awake, i feel lethargic even though i sleep at least 9+ hours per day. I've been even considering coicaine.
And that comes from a person who twice or thrice gave up all caffeine for health in his ealrier teens,but always relapsing, going on week and month long binges of video games,series and eating excessively, I decide that i need to change my habits forever. i explained to myself every time that i could pick up "life" as if it was some video game or maths after months or years of absence, it's because every time i had tried it had worked,i could remember maths from just the first lesson without studying afterwards and still solve exams up to 10th class, i could even go back to talking to people and making friends and connections ,after months of agony over feeling disconnected from people though. I dont feel inclined to even try any more.

>>42223307
The thing I value the most about /fit/ is that it is like some kind of older brother/locker room talk which I lack in my life
Stuff may be false, exaggerated etc. but somehow still better than anybody from real life can offer
Anyway, I have a really childish infantile problem.
I am in my early twenties. When I get into relationship I get disillusioned with the gal quickly and just start to hate the whole thing. I have been without a woman for slightly less than a year now.
So I wonder if I should just have shitty relationships just to fulfill my needs and have experience or just wait/look for someone I actually like (last time it was a long time ago)?

>>42225422
We matched on Tinder and after some weeks of snapping I asked her if she wanted to fuck,'. She said no and I deleted her from my Snapchat. She still remembered me, apparently, and I do too now. As far as I can gather she's with her friend who lives in the same apartment building as me

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>>42225502
Dont do it anon, we're all gonna make it.

>>42225558
-2-
I was on my way to getting fit for more than 8 months, and i gave up everything a year ago,telling myself i'd pick it up after a week,a month...
only when im stoned do i think about shit by mistake, about my current situation, but i feel at even a worse mental capacity to think about it at the time than my sober zombie state, not even quite sober, more sick probably, i've been chainsmoking normal cigarettes for a month and my body feels terrible, and getting stoned for 10 days smoking up to 10 joints daily while i was sick from bronchitis, rationalizing to myself that i'd just "get very healthy" afterwards.
Afterwards i dont care. the notion of helping myself is quickly invalidated by my tendancy for procrastination, or that's how i explain it to myself atleast.

hours dont matter anymore, i just sit in front of a screen from midday until the sun rises and then tired go to sleep, telling myself it will be different tomorrow.The man who wakes is a different man though, he does not want to wake up his mind and expend any energy. going with the same trend from yesterday he sits on the computer until hours pass, delaying the change of habit untill i wake up and in my zombie state from my overstimulation of shit i dont care about, dont know how to go about fixing my problem,and i leave thinking for tomorrow.

not a thought is thought, just mindless consumption of any once interesting thing. youtube videos, click twenty times on recommended watch for hours until sick of it, choose something else.

>>42225502
Deep down, your fantasies of your suicide is just you wanting to stick it to her, to make her feel as bad as you think you feel.

>>42223307
Ex from HS wants to meet up with me for drinks. haven't seen her since I broke her heart. All her friends HATE me with a passion. Left me to decide the date to meet up. How do I reel her back in bros? she lost weight since we dated and I got /fit/ after breaking up with her.

>>42225584
-3-

not a thought is thought, just mindless consumption of any once interesting thing. youtube videos, click twenty times on recommended watch for hours until sick of it, choose something else.

I've blogged too much, it's just that i needed the excuse to write down what im feeling, try and figure it out. And having the prospect of getting advice and help from someone else might make me stick to it, as i've used up your resources.Every time i write for myself i just forget thinking about it and i leave my problems unsolved and it has happened so many times that i've lost faith in myself, afterwards i can see that i am not trying, why should i trust myself with anything.

>>42225558
>>42225584
You're a fucking dumbass that has smoked his fucking brains away.

Quit the weed, and quit jerking off. Nofap may be a meme but jerking off constantly clearly isn't doing you any favors.

>>42224349
go right now anon stop shitposting and just go late night =lightweight feel

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I fucked up bad at work yesterday and lost my job

I was a forklift driver at a warehouse, loading and unloading truck trailers all day. I loaded a pallet that was heavier than I thought onto a stack of dangerous goods. Turns out it was fucking chlorine. By the time it got to the next warehouse it was destroyed and all the freight inside was fucked. They had to call in fumigators to deal with the thing and apparently people got bad chemical burns.

I'm 23 and it's the first time I've really fucked something up like that and it's the first time I've ever been fired, feels weird man

At least I can lift tonight

>>42225502
Disgustingly pathetic. Man up and keep that shit to yourself.

>>42225637
whatever, shit's done.

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>>42223307
I changed my 4chan habits this week. I don't know how long it will last, but for now it's going well. I used to be a 70/30 /pol/ /fit/ guy. I would definitely post on /pol/ a lot, but only lurk here. But this week. . . .I think I finally cracked. I just can't take it anymore, thr constant stresd and implicit fighting between things that seem important, like theres a lot at steak, was exhausting. Sure there werr fun posts, but more and more the response I was having was less laughter and more anger. I just can't take reading the news anymore or focusing on politics. It's become too emotionally exhausting.

I'm doing well personally, making apps to some good schools for gradschool, gf and I are trying to figure out how to live together after college. Marriage not discussed yet but we definitely want to put ourselves on a steafy path. My life is good! Im not going to screw it up by getting into this. And the hatred, oh man the hatred. I have a short temper and some anger issues and some shit on /pol/ and honestly in the news in general was just getting such a rise out of me. It was getting dangerous.

Exercising is a hobby and fun for me, so im going to cut /pol/ cold turkey and come here for my bantz. This is my first post this week but I've had some great laughs so far and i feel good about it.

Also theme:
https://youtu.be/36Y_ztEW1NE

>>42224870
>>42224880
Sounds comfy anon. i'm 14 years behind but I hope i end up as cool as u did.

>>42225637
>I was a forklift driver at a warehouse
No big loss there.

Just laying in bed waiting to go to a different country for work. We're given the weekend off so I'll be able to visit Budapest for a day. I really want to lose my virginity and maybe this weekend things might actually pop off

>>42225674
Sorry for spelling Im on mobile

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>>42225674
Does this make you feel better

>>42225674
This is the same reason that people watch the news - to get their daily dose of worthless anger.

Good for you for breaking the cycle.

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>Been going to BJJ for three (3) years
>Am unsure about how to recover guard from the bottom of side control

How can one man be so cucked? I'm literally shaking right now

>>42223307
>wrist hurts
>QT used her lunch hour to bring me some green tea from a local coffee shop
>still not sure how serious she is with me and she has assloads of guy friends to make gauging that all the harder (yeah yeah, the ultra-rare nonslut tho)
So pretty well even if my autism doesn't know what exactly to do now, a couple months ago I was a total fucking mess over my oneitis. Take it one step at a time and we'll all make it brehs.

>>42225515
I fucking love the rhodesians

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>>42225686
Lol I saw this, but im pretty much numb to canadian fuckery at this point, so it didnt get much of a rise out of me

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It's getting harder and harder to justify why I'm in the career path I'm in now besides money...

I just finished my masters in anatomy and was accepted to med school, but I really don't want to fucking go in all honesty. I just want to read books, work out, and shut everything else out. I hate everyone my age and the culture surrounding upper education. Part of me just wants to walk into an army recruiting center and just go through military training program after military training program until my body fails me...

working security at this college bar tonight. Was dyel manlet, now im just 180lb swole manlet at 5'10 who likes throwing frat boys around. Thanks for making me /fit faggots

>>42225774
How well does that pay bro?

>>42225772
I did rotc for a year at uni. Was honestly a blast. I loved pt. We also used to do field expiditionary training (FTX) and go out with thr gear and tough it. God i miss that shit

>>42225772
If you find a passion, value it at $5M. If you're 5 years into your passion, value it at $500M. Make decisions about it as if you were working at that number.

It's so fucking valuable. It's more valuable than a nice house, car, and girl.

>>42225772
Masters in anatomy, where is that educational system and how it works? US?
I thought you either go straight to med school like in Europe or do a pre-med undergrad and then go to med school like in US.

>>42225813
US. I underestimated the MCAT the first time I took it...I had a 3.94 GPA in undergrad so instead off taking a year off and wallowing in failure while I studied for the next MCAT I just decided to get my masters. I got a full ride, just had to TA.

>>42225772

>I hate everyone my age and the culture surrounding upper education.

Honestly those feelings will most likely stay, if not get worse for the same for the first two years of medical school.
It gets slightly better for MS3 and MS4, you will be immersed more in hospital culture and most of the time spend time by yourself/ in small groups. Its a humbling experience and generally reminds you why you applied in the first place (minus the salary).

>I just want to read books, work out, and shut everything else out.

If you are one who tends to keep to himself consider looking into Family Medicine, hours are very generous and the satisfaction is great, it gets me; an otherwise apathetic guy up every morning.

>>42224707
THIS!!!! learn a fucking skill or trade.

>>42225678
> trips + 5678
You will definitely make it.

>>42223307
I don't really have "tfw no gf feels"
Currently waiting for a letter from my country's interior ministry which will allow me to send out applications to charity/health organizations
My country usually has 6 months mandatory military service
But you can apply for a 9 month service in formentioned organizations. Looking to become a paramedic since it's pretty useful and chill. But waiting for that fucking letter is seriously the gayest thing. They mentioned it might take up to 6 weeks for them to send it. And I need to apply in august to be able to start on time january 1st next year.
So basically the state is stealing my time and that's about the only "feel" I have
Would really rather do part time and go to uni right now.
I've also made really good friends with a receptionist girl at my gym. She's 19 too and we've exchanged numbers and snapchat. She's a pretty nice girl but I've no interest in her and I have a gf since 6 months so who cares. But she'll be able to vouch for me in case the gym needs a new employee and since it's all part time it would be the fucking dream
>free membership and all bonus subscriptions
>around 500€ for doing next to nothing
>will probably coach a few people too since I'm experienced and got the physique
Currently just enjoying this comfy night browsing /fit/ and eating

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>>42223307
Everything had been going so well at work the past few months but we got this new girl, she's hot but married. Our jobs require us to work closely together and all the other women in the office immediately did a 180 and now treat me like dog shit because I'm close with this new girl. It doesn't really bother me but it makes the work day go by a lot slower. Can't wait to get in the gym tonight and train chest hard. I've got a budding web design business I'm trying to grow so I can quit my wagecuck slavery and be free. Tonight I'm going to eat a huge dinner, chill, blow up chest, and then grind on my business late into the night. I'm trying to make it /fit/ bros.

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>How alone do you have to be before you recognize your life means nothing anymore?

I'm gonna have sex for the first time, but I'm afraid I'm just gonna flail around like a fish out of water. I need some tips.

>>42223307

So, at work today I Overhear one of my co-workers say "Are you two really comparing calves?". Now /fit/, at my heaviest i was 370. I'm 290 now and still loosing. While at 370 I still walked about an hour a day. I have big goddamn legs. So when I hear "comparing calves" I naturally go over to investigate, and yep: Two other co-workers have rolled up their pants and are comparing calf muscles.

>Back up scrubs.

Lift my leg up, thump it down on the corner of a table, roll my pant leg back.

One co-worker says: "That's bigger than my thigh".

Roll my pant leg down and walk off.

I later realized that, today, I actually got to whip it out, slap it on the table, and prove it was bigger than anyone else's today.

Today was a good goddamn day /fit/

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>a few days ago
>wake up
>look in the mirror
>a literal 8/10 looks back
>go through the day feeling like hot shit
>feel smart, witty, and charismatic
>talk to some bros at the gym, break a bench PR
>take a walk, watch a beautiful sunset
>go to sleep contented, fall asleep instantly
>wake up the next day
>everything's back to normal
>feel dumb as shit
>everything I try to say sounds thick and stupid
>can't modulate my tone of voice at all
>I swear to god my facial geometry changed too
>It feels like I literally look different
>this is how I feel nine times out of ten.

What the fuck is tripping me up here? I've done tests on myself and haven't found any factor that improves my self image beyond dumb fucking luck and I HATE that.

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>>42226098
good shit

>>42226098

hahahaha it's funny because he doesn't know he's fat.

>>42226040
okay. stick to the basic positions. Fuck her in doggy. Sit on a comfy chair and tell her to ride you. Put your hand on her clit so when she rides your dick, her clit rubs against your hand, without you moving. Missionary position. That's all you need. Don't talk shit to her like
>wtf is that weird face you are making
>wtf are those weird noises you are making
Don't bring her down, man. Even if she is bad. The opposite, saying you like what she is doing is encouraged.

Now the most important thing. Really really important for first timers. Don't think about it. If you expect to fuck her tomorrow. and you catch yourself thinking about it, immediately do something to take your mind off of it. Like sing a song from beginning to end. Play a game. Read something. Do the stupid push up thread.

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>>42226098
*rolls back pant leg

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I've been pretty well overall, but the past couple of days I've just been stressed from personal shit. I know I shouldn't get so emotional at shit I can't control, but I just can't help it. Because I was stressed, I binged on some snacks and shit. Fuck that shit.
Been on NoFap for 3 weeks now, but I still edge, and I'm planning on quitting that shit soon. Meditation helps a ton I find, and I've actually improved when it comes to social interaction and whatnot. I've discovered a ton about myself in the past few months, and what I really need to change about myself so that I can be successful in life.
Also, about to start keto, and intermittent fasting as well. I hope it goes well. I like these sorts of threads by the way, it helps to reflect on how shit is going, and even if you focus on the negative stuff, you eventually start to see the positive shit as well, once you think about the big picture.

>wife is out with her friends
>or her coworkers
>again
>I just go to the gym after work, work out, then go home
>today was a "rest" day so I just did an hour of cardio
>tfw it's so I can drink my calories via booze
>she does this a couple times a week
>comes home drunk
>stumbling
>probably cheating on me
>I'm a cuck I guess
>just want her to come home one day and ask for a fucking divorce so she can guilt free fuck someone else

That would be sweet relief bros. then I can just hope up by myself for the rest of my life

TL;DR: don't get married

>>42226153
Or you can separate and stop being a bitch

Ay Friday Night Feels (TM)

The Good
>gf and her friend gave me a blowjob yesterday at a going-away party for my friend, I ate her friend out and there's more sex promised tomorrow and throughout the week
>recently graduated, have lots of spare time between working and literally nothing else to do; this is leading me to develop hobbies (I've taken up writing)
>developed a quality wardrobe lately, adding to my confidence

The Neutral
>Working is making be tired for the gym but that's alright bro
>Brother might be working with me soon, unsure on how to feel about that as I've vouched for him but he's a lazy fuck

The Bad:
>tfw gf's friend who blew me with her last night has been friends with us for months now, she's moving away in August and I'm slowly developing feelings for her to the point of which I want to enter polyamorous relationship with her and my gf
>tfw love two women
>Not enough money being made at the moment to make consistent gains whilst paying off my mother the $12,000 (my entire tuition with the promise of me paying her back) she loaned me for school
>the amount of free time I have is becoming bothersome as I went from being busy literally always to now nothing


Honestly I have to r8 myself like 6 or 7/10. I'm gonna look into ways to make more money on the side so I can start paying my mother back.

>>42226175
>stop being a bitch
How do you think I ended up like this to begin with?

>>42226188
>has gf
>gets blown by gf AND HER FRIEND
>meh life is only 6or7/10

Fuck you. I hate you. I want to be you.

>>42224085
You the guy who made the maggot(?) Threads on /diy/?

>>42226199
You have the willpower to goto the gym. But not move out on the couch, stop drinking, and improve your career so you can move out?

Man, sucks to be you.

>>42226133
Thanks man. Idk how I landed it.
>tfw 5'6
>she's 5'11
Pray I don't get crushed by her thiccness

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>>42224276
>tfw my mom dutifully served her role as a loving mother and enjoyed the good life by being a submissive housewife while dad brought home the bacon

Never get mires, but got 2 today.
>8/10 coworker says im "kind of muscular"
>big biker coworker asks if i played football, because i'm built like a linebacker.

so i got that going for me, which is nice. diet is shit doe.

I'm slowly realizing I might not make it at all. There's only so much lifting can do. Fuck, I just wanted a wife, kids and a mediocre life.

Life fucking sucks when you're ugly, like what the fuck.

>>42225674
You're better off my man, I cut /pol/ out half a year ago and a lot of similar shit on FB and my life is better.

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>tfw tinder is full of stuck up roasties

Anytime I match with someone the bitch has no personality and gives me nothing to work with.

>>42225010
Yes

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Last night I had a few drinks with a friend. On my way home I met a couple strangers and, through a series of events, ended up smoking weed with them. I stopped smoking January this year and was doing pretty well but have been thinking about smoking and dreaming about it and shit. I ended up caving last night and blazing and feel shitty for giving in but also am glad that I realize it's not as cracked up as I was romanticizing it to be.

Still sucks that my "weed-free" streak is back at day zero... Today was supposed to be my rest day but I think I'm gonna go lift so I feel less like a piece of shit

>>42225010
FIck sie Bruda

>>42225637
That sucks anon. Learn from your mistake, take this as an opportunity of growth.

Shit, I didn't even realize it was Friday till now. Guess that explains sufficiently for this post.

>>42225502
You're just looking at this the wrong way. However things turned out you were a good enough guy and a good enough lay to keep two girls. If nothing else, you are attractive and enjoyable to be around. The problem is your self destructive behavior and short term decision making. You've got to fix the problems in your head. Claire loved you but you messed that up and now it's over. But your life doesn't have to be. Learn to love yourself, man. Start by forgiving yourself for the mistakes you've made in the past. And stop entertaining suicide. You have a whole life ahead of you and you won't get another shot.

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Finally finished my summer job. was working 60+ hours a week so had a hard time fitting in gym time.

Now I'm starting to think about how I'm going to have a better year at college. Last year I had to pledge a fraternity to have social life but I don't know if I want to do that shit again. But the thought of making an effort to talk to strangers makes me anxious out of fear of rejection and embarrassment.

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Things could be better, but I am slowly learning to be happy and better myself. Break up from a few months back is still eating at me, I hate her so much, but its those sweet memories that haunt me the most, I can't stop dreaming about them.

Looking for a full time job, currently hold two part time jobs, waiting for the State Trooper Exam in October. Currently dealing with a Pilonidal Cyst that has abscessed and is keeping me out of the gym just as I was starting to make gains, although I am doing stuff at home in the meantime and keeping up with my diet.

Since the breakup and graduation though, I find myself with a great deal of time and money that I lacked for three years of dating. I have reinvested in 40k and doing up my dudes fills me with a little satisfaction at least. Been ripping through books, can't believe it took me this long to get around to Starship Troopers, fantastic fucking book, currently reading On Heroes, Hero Worship, and The Heroic in History. SCA buddy helping me put together two kits at once which I'm pumped to have finished, ren faire in a few weeks thats going to be a ton of fun, and a medieval festival at an old monastery nearby that I'm hype af for.

Going out with a nice jewish girl on tinder whom I wish to GOY. Gotten more ass in the last 3 months than I did in 3 years of college, but I think after (((her))) I need to take a break, learn to live without a woman in my life and be happy with myself. NYCC in October and I want to put together a half decent costume, but we'll see, headed to Texas for a little vacation in September.

Life ain't so bad boys, those of you having tough times are in my prayers tonight, God bless.

>>42225674
/pol/ is cancer for anyone trying to improve their life, it literally brings nothing but more negativity after you have had the most important red pills. I got my dose of it and fucked off, best decision of my time in 4chan.

>>42226531
i agree, apparently everyone there makes six figues, and lives an easy life and if you don't you're a retard and a cuck.

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>>42223307
>turning 22 in a few days
>still a kv

at least I hit lmao2pl8 on ohp today

>>42225502
Mate it's not even that bad. You fucked up everyone does. Never too late to make things right. But to think this is end is just wrong. People have come back from a lot worse and you seem like a smart dude, just made some bad choices.

>5years ago
>22, low self esteem, very skinny
>motivated myself to train hard
> started gomad, went over to CBL and IF
>trained and learned for uni, didnt anything other
>2 years,24, later good utter mode
>girls started admire
>approach a girl at uni
>we meet sometimes, she has a longtime boyfriend (8years)
>literally a soulmate
>she want to break up with him, but he has depression and say she cannot at the time
>i say i cannot wait, so i broke up the contact
>meet some other girls, but no gf
>train more, got problems at uni, im close to dropoff at the fucking last exam of my bachelor studies
>learn day and night
>pass the exam at the 3rd try, graduate
>come home to chill before starting over again with work or doing my masters
>toxic family (mom and sister embezzle money from dad, he is self deployed, he founds out with police, dad long time alcoholic, police was sometimes at house, everyday big fights and argues)
> want to help at family problems
> get more and more in that toxic doom loop
>stop training, just sit in before pc
>later lay whole day in bed with notebook
>health degenerates more
> mental problems start to come first little with depressive episodes, didn't recognized it.
>3 years later, more skinny than before, under weight, mental problems
>i got panic attacks, my body trembles all the time, hard inner unrest
> got stomach,digestive problems vertigo, and a tinnitus, neck malposition from sitting all day long in bed with notebook, back and neck problems

How to come over the pain?... that all i fight for, was snatched and my mental and health is worse than 5 years ago. I'm end of my 20s, all i done is studying at school to get Alevels, studying at uni, training, and trying to help my familiy. Had some girls, but the most before 19, never had an long time relationship. Didn't have much hobbies because i studied night and day.
I started cycling everyday since 2months, it helped a little bit the mental, but there always big setbacks.

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>>42223307
>>42224936

Me, 26 unfortunately. My mind constantly drifts to better times.
Just got back from a long run, sun was intolerable and it was 88 degrees at sunset. Now I've got a banging overexertion headache. Last day of work is next Friday, everyone is sad to see me go but I had to get out of there. I've never done anything like this, quit without a plan but at least I have a healthy amount of savings to see me through to the next opportunity.

>>42224276
I'm so sorry to hear this, my best friend went through something exactly like this. His father was a successful businessman, owned a really nice house on the water outright, bought his family cars with cash and was looking to expand his business. Eventually the business fell on hard times and the family broke up. He valiantly built it up again from nothing working out of his house, only to fail again several years later. He took to drinking and doing pills and finally passed two years ago alone on his back porch. It's deeply, deeply hurt my friend and effected how he deals with women, he never wants to commit and I can see why. Hell, it really shook me.

I guess I'm just saying that you're not alone and a lot of young men are struggling with this issue. I wish you the best luck pushing ahead, you did nothing wrong, you were just a kid.

>went to prison last Jan.
>lucked out got boot camp 90 days
>got out may 30th
>working liveing on half way house
>have not contacted any old friends
>gaind 30 lbd of muscle
> been staying clean in sober
>2 months left on GPS tether
> need some pussy badly

>>42226215
I would rather be the poorest farm boy, working the most humble piece of land, than lord of all the dead.

>>42226582
what'd you go to prison for

>>42225466
HAHAHAHA love it man. Just be truthful with everything. It'll work out for the best

>>42226596
Dui

>>42226582
>gained 30lbs of muscle

>>42225772
This sounds ridiuculous but the universe will guide you to the right path, if you let it

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Feeling pretty bad m8s.

>Only guy in my group without gf.
>Have to be literal seventh weal when out with them.
>Feel stupid, embarrassed and awkward.
>Not had physical female contact in about four years because I don't know how to communicate with females.
>Got crippling anxiety and chew my nails to the quick everyday while my stomach occasionally feels like it's capitulating in on itself.
>Unfulfilled at work and life in general.
>Seems like everyone's life is better than mine.
>Starting to conclude I'm hideous and don't realize it, there's something wrong with me mentally and I'm destined to be an underperforming waste of oxygen drifting through life alone.

Oh well at least I've got lifting right?

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>>42223307
>T h e B a d
I rolled my ankle and fucked up my rotator cuff
>T h e G o o d
I moshed for the first time at a metal show, which was how I rolled my ankle.
went rock climbing with a girl, how I fucked up my shoulder
>t h e U g l y
me

>>42223483
live a little, travel by the skin of your teeth in some shithole of a tropical country while you sweat tequila.

one of my brothers is dead and the other is dead to me. other people aren't responsible for your happiness, get living or kill yourself but no one else.

>>42226612
>live in USA
>go to jail for DUI
wew

>>42225674
Yeah man FUCK pol

>>42226613
>I was 120 pounds when I got to quarantine
> detoxing from opiates
> you get fed well and boot camp and upt everyday all day
> since I've been out I've been taking in about 200 grams of protein a day I'm 155 pounds now lean and mean

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>>42226649
My weight pit at half way house

>>42226619
How are you trying to change that situation, Anon?

>>42226619
Start working on this mentality anon, I've been there and it consumes you if you neglect it. I started writing down a couple positive things that happened every day. By doing this you train your mind to focus on positive, rather than negative things. It takes work but eventually you will make it, godspeed anon

>>42225695
Hahah mate. I've been going for a few months and have just seen how to do that. I can't do it but it was great. I though being in side control on the bottom was the end. The black belt made it look so easy. Something about bridge and roll

>>42226100
Stop looking in the mirror unless you need to shave or brush your hair.

>>42226012
Fuck yeah man. Keep it up

>>42224276
i poster of this post >>42226570

Had the same in my family, thats why i said toxic family.
I think if you were a child it isn't your fault, you trust your mom , it is just natural.
But perhaps it wasn't just your fathers fault.
My father is alcoholic too, but he started to get over the stress with my mom and the work. He worked 60-70 hours a week.
This led to other problems, mom didn't get love and started to buy shits. (shopaholism). She teached it my sister, and they stealed money from father. It isn't often easy to find the guilty one. I thinked about my family for many nights, and i think they both guilty, dad worked too much, as i said above, which led to mothers problems, and so they give the hatred to us.
I am more intelligent then my sister. And i'm not biased, i said it to my father, and helped him, he was nearly before suicide which fucked my life, because till 22 my family didnt help me much (just financial), i did all my life alone, cooked since i was 12. Did my school alone, choiced my school way with alevels and uni alone. never talked about problems nothing , and then my dad pushed my in this circle. I was in a good state. I dont know atm if it would be better if he never did that, because i'm atm at the bottom at my life. I liked actually the life with no family, but the problem is i never had the advantages of family (i know them from friends, this warm and helpful families) i only get the disadvantages and very hard ones.

But it isn't your fault, that your mom gives you this hatred. If your dad is still alive, just talk to him, if not, nothing is lost. I think he knew that the hatred came from his wife. Wifes can be really monsters.

>>42226098
Fat cunt.

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OP here, dumping more comfy pics. I'll keep this post brief, theres more to these points but this is the main gist of things so far

Havent touched alcohol for a few months because I was ruining myself with it, over the weekend an old friend came over with two 30 racks and I drank myself into a 2 day stupor. Woke up at 5pm the second day and realized what I had done and couldnt feel worse, couldnt believe I had relapse. The guilt kept me from being able to sleep that night so that combined with still feeling like ass kept me from going to the gym the next day. Finally hauled my ass to the gym on thursday to make up for lost time. I've decided to cut out anything that has a chemical that will affect my brain, except black coffee

I've successfully isolated myself, after deciding not to go back to school. Cut contact with all "friends" and any girls i talked to; before i would be constantly on my phone laughing and talking and flirting with these people and now its dead except for the occasional text from one of my siblings. Its a very soothing calm. I'm mad at myself for wasting the past two years making myself do something I hate

The downside of this would be that I dont have a steady job and am left with just about nothing to do all day. Its mind numbing, and I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be the day I go to the recruiters office and finally get shit started but I always put it off. I'm definitely going monday though, its going to happen

My ex's birthday is monday. Havent talked to her in months, blocked her on everything, but recently cant help but think about her. She really did a number on me end of last summer, I guess its just hard to forget shit like that. All in all ive grown dissatisfied with women. Not quite MGTOW but all that comes to mind when i talk to one is cynicism and apathy

Oh well, cheers to another friday night on /fit/. You all are my real friends

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>>42225605
First things first. Weeds gotta go m8.
I know my way around the drug it's not harmless it desensitizes you from the world. Smoke or throw away your stash.
YOUR NOT GOING TO BUY IT EVER AGAIN.
Porn. Gotta go man. Ppl who describe no fap as a meme are just as addicted as you. Whenever you think about fapping think about why you can't bust inside a female instead. DON'T suppress your most basic of primal urges. You're gonna stop falling for a MONTH. After that month once a week only. Whenever u think of fapping chase a girl instead.
Start writing things down. I desensitized myself pretty badly when I was a degenerate. Get a note pad and write anything anyone asks you to down in the notepad. Get something small that fits in ur pocket.

I hate seeing ppl throw themselves away like this. Do this shit or don't but only you can fix your feel.

>>42226570
let me ask you anon, what is it you want to do in life

>>42224620
Army bro here .What made you choose the navy over other branches? Just wanna know

>>42226397
Yeah I found one decent girl on tinder. Total slut but can actually talk shit and have a laugh with. Deleted tinder after that. I just ended up roasted every match.

>>42226796
Light pollution in the middle of winter is literally the most underrated scenery.

I feel bad for fags that live in the south, because it is ultimate comfy.

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>managed to deadlift more than the synthol guy at my gym
Good shit lads

>>42226816
whereas my studies i wanted to become trained, get a good job and perhaps meet some girls, but didnt want to mary, and i never want to make a baby, i find pregnant women and the birth is really disgusting, i would adopt one.

after my studies in the toxic circle i feeled numb and lost all my targets

atm i really dont know its empty. I motivate myself daily to stand up and fight,but the problem is i really dont know for what.
I like animals and would work somewhere abroad (i'm an eurofag (GER). I dont need so much money. I can work a little bit online, i learned trading, through my studies and did it little bit after, i couldn't earn much because my bank account isnt big enough to make big money.
I want to become stateless and travel a little bit. But not in cities more in landscape. I really get to estimate the nature in my last 3 months of the bottom of my life.
But i got as i said panic attacks, got some medication, it is better now, but there are still setbacks, and there is this big anexiety to get back in this state i was 1.5 month ago. i was totally fucked, couldn't do anyhting, words in my mind didnt stop, lile my brain exploded. i helped myself with try always controlling the mind and just doing 10 days nothing just sleep, or rest.

>>42226740
Thanks for your post. My father is alive and doing well, alot better than 14 years ago when he broke up from my mother. Like you said it's not easy to find who's guilty, maybe the point isn't in finding that out, I just carry regret that as a child I couldn't go up to my father when he was a hermit alcoholic and ask him: what's wrong, dad? I know I could've helped, but back then I hated my father for drinking because that's what my mother taught me. She made it seem like it was 100% my fathers fault. What's done is done, his life was destroyed but he has done a good job in collecting himself, I just hope to be able to provide for him for as long as he is alive, to pay back for some of the suffering he went through.

>>42226911
cont.
in addition to the anexiety
it was so big 2 months ago, i was even afraid to go out and drive to the shops.
I was cycling in the forest and i thought i will die. I fought against it and i think it helped, but its hard to come over this point that you had this mental probs and you think they can come suddenly again. If you're abroad in some less western countries, thailand, asia, nz, aus, southamerica which i woul to visit, you need to be healthy, if your away from civiliation and get this problems i think it could be worse that is my biggest anexiety.

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>>42223307
Not going to read all the thread, lads. Just wanted to say keep your heads up.

I graduated with my master's but was unemployed for four months. I was getting really fat too from the cycle of being unhappy at hit 230lbs at 6 feet (though my diddy broke 5pl8 which was fucking sick). And, my girlfriend accused me of being too negative and cynical and therefore refused to talk to me about my problems. I resorted to anti-depressant medication which made me anxious as hell. She ended up breaking up with me after I paid for her college education.

But you fucking know what, lads. It's all okay.
>have job with the government now and am going to travel to India for work for a month
>made a shit ton of money in the great ethereum bullrun back in April/June
>down to 195lbs from 230lbs.
>still broke up with girlfriend but I'm out there dating again
>got off the anti-depressants and began going to a Christian therapy center every two weeks

Life's okay, fellas. It may get you down from time to time, women may fuck you over, you may lose sight of what's important, and you may swing from piss poor to having wealth you never imagined. The important thing is to never give up and never stop trying. Meme cringe-tier quote from Nietzsche, but, "To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering." I find this to be true. Also, it should be required to read Meditations by Aurelius, even though that's another meme-tier book. Reviewing the basics from time to time is good though.

Anyways lads, don't expect you to read this since I didn't bother reading the thread; however, just wanted to pass by and say to NEVER GIVE UP. I just turned 25 and my life is better than it's ever been. It gets better.

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>>42226859
>tfw living in the
>tfw zero fucking snow
Im moving North when I get older

>>42226911
that is the ultimate feel, its hard to keep fighting when you dont have something to fight for. I'd take a break from your life as soon as you can and go travel. I know that sounds like a meme answer but go by yourself and really try to spend time alone outside thinking about where your place is. how often do you have panic attacks

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>>42223307
>tl;dr of long story gf of over 4yrs broke up with me because things weren't going well
>tried to kiss me but I neglected her since I was mad
>that day she met at the park with some dude from my gym
>they kissed but she regretted, left and told me
>it's been 3 months
>we still talk and sometimes fuck
>some guy that used to be pretty chill with me and her hit on her
>she told me about it
>flashbacks
>fuck
>wish I could go to another gym but it's the only decent one where I live
>the dude she kissed always leaves once I arrive and doesnt even look at me
>feeling empty inside since I feel I'm lost in life and have no clue in business management which I need to learn because it's my parents empire
>21y old and feeling like time is flying

at least I'm at the peak of my physical condition in terms of performance and aesthetics, I also look good facially and girls want to bang me but I feel empty inside and sometimes sad

>>42226994
>that day she met at the park with some dude from my gym
>they kissed but she regretted, left and told me
>it's been 3 months
>we still talk and sometimes fuck
>some guy that used to be pretty chill with me and her hit on her
>she told me about it
Major fucking red flags detected, the ship called your relationship is about to sink if you don't react to these warning signs, man up soon or lose your gf.

>>42227028
forgot to mention I broke up with her the day she "broke up" (she only said to give a time) with me

>>42226929
In my family it was even worse, my father didn't just give the hatred to the kids, everyone of the family of my mother hated my dad, she said he dont works , just trinks and so on.
It was a hard time, i think, it helped him much that one did starting understand him. My father drank like i said because of stress in family in work.

But if hes alive nothing is lost. I always was the introverted guy, i never talked to my family, i had to fight since the last 7 years, my father had mental breakdowns , mother had it and the police. I'm just saying that, because you really should perhaps explain to him why you hated him and where it came from. That is important for your future and your dads. There are always reasons for drugs, that is what people often don't see, the low tier drugusers, just come to it over parties, but i get to known to so much higher tier drug users just to manage their daily life.
But i hope i can help you, that would be most useful thing i did in my last 3 years.
Just talk to him even it is hard and just hold contact with him at the end of his life.

>>42226994
Want some advice, mate? Go talk to the guy. Just be straight with him about your girl. Women, though, are a different story. You know her better than anyone here does. If you can be straight with her, than do that. Sometimes just sitting someone down in an intimate setting (warm yellow light, alone, comfy, etc.) can really open someone up to talking. Been there with trying to text/call. It doesn't work.

Also, help your parents out. Treat it like trying to hit a new PR. Improving sales, etc. can be addicting like lifting since there is always something to achieve.

Also, time flies, man. So make use of it. Every day you make a conscious decision of what to do with your time. Don't waste it. Who knows. You may die tomorrow then your parents find your trap folder from /gif/ on your PC. Good luck lad.

>>42223307
How do i get rid of my gut please guys
i dont need a beer gut, i drink water, no fast food..
what do i do?

>>42227057
If serious, read the sticky here first.
>caloric deficit
>shit ton of cardio
That's it. Keep a food journal to keep yourself honest. If you're a dyel, do some basic lifts too. Noob gains can be a great way to lose fat quick.

>>42227045
>I'm just saying that, because you really should perhaps explain to him why you hated him and where it came from. That is important for your future and your dad
This is a good idea, thanks. I've been thinking about how to talk to him about all of this, and this I think is a good approach.

Why did your mothers family hate on your dad so much?

>>42227076
Will read the sticky, already have good gains in arms i just neglected my entire middle body (and legs) i cant run for shit

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>>42227050
the guy talked to me on instagram the day she did it, after she told me she had told him what happened. Dude is scared of me because I used to fight
she wants to get back but i dont want to, but at the same time i dont want her to disappear from my life

I'm helping my parents mostly by doing easy drinks and washing the dishes and shit like that
I'm supposed to learn everything from business to home management soon since in the summer we have tons of work so no time at all, it's basically work > sleep > work every day. I only lift and clean dishes basically kek, get 2h at night before bed to shitpost here

>>42226954

it isnt just the panic it is also the mind.
It is like my nerve system is totally stressed.
Like i said in my cont post the panic attacks improved a little bit.
They were daily more times 2 months ago and now perhaps 1 time a week, but the anexiety of getting anexiety is really a problem, you know it sounds strange but if you had anexiety problems this is the bigger problem.

Ye i don't know where i am, if it wouldn't be summer atm. I really dont know if i had started this last fight. I'm a summer guy, i really hate cold weather , and the good weather is a big help for going out. I never was this nature guy, but it is really one big point which it keeps mit continue, but as i said i just continue without big goals that is really hard, i hope i find it one day

>>42226515
>tfw my biggest goal in life was to become a cop
>decided to join the Marines thinking I would get loads of job offers after the end of my enlistment
>got discharged from recruit training a few months ago for refusing to train because I got fed up with the bs
>working a shitty retail job at the age of 21

After I got home I realized all the bs I put up with wasn't really that bad and immediately regreted my decision. The worst part about it was that I was almost done with training, I had a few weeks left remaining before graduation.

I guess all I can do is salvage what I have left, and continue to struggle and toil until I have restored my honor and pride.

I have a cute gf though, so life could be a lot worse I suppose.

>>42227091
Try cycling/swimming/walking to work/etc. Just put some conscious thought into it. Always park in a far away spot, take the stairs, take a salad over that steak, etc. You can do it. I think the food journal is the biggest thing though imo.

Hey guys how do I gf in a new city? I don't know anyone

>>42227111
Nigger just use Okcupid or Plenty Of Fish to find some sloots.

>>42227092
>she wants to get back but i dont want to, but at the same time i dont want her to disappear from my life
Don't be so fickle, mate. My ex said the same thing to me. "I don't want to be with you, but I don't want you to leave." Guess what I did? Fucking dropped. If I'm not getting what I want from someone I love, respect, etc., why would I stay in their life as an orbiter? Don't know how she is, if she's ugly, or what. But I say give her another honest go. Put your heart into it. If it doesn't work after that, then drop it. This stop and go shit isn't doing anyone favors though. The guy doesn't sound like a problem. But he may become her emotional sponge since he sounds like an utter faggot. Those beta types are great on the rebound.

>I'm supposed to learn everything from business to home management soon since in the summer we have tons of work so no time at all
Ask for more responsibility. Ask your dad to show you how to do accounting with Quickbooks. Learn to manage social media accounts. Fix shit and paint to increase customer appeal. Put some thought into it and I think you'll be happier. You can achieve more than dish bitch.

>>42227084
have to go soon.
i mentioned it above. My life with this family could fill a series like Shameless (its btw a good show look it up guys helped my little bit over my problems).
My mom was anoroexic at the beginning of the realationsship with my dad. I think she has a low self esteem, and she isn't really happy about herself, and this people often trying to blame others. And like i said my dad worked 60-70 hours a week, he wasn't at home much, so he hadn't time for his wife and she didnt felt loved. I got used do it that i was born with no family or the advantages i was more or less like a roboter about this feels. My advantage was that i had good girlfriends (friendships) and good friends, that was my balance. But i never talked about my problems with my friends until i couldn't hold it more when the shit escalated at 22 with uni problems big family problems and so on.

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>>42223307
I am working a landscaping job 30+ hours a week along with teaching a weekly kayaking class at my uni, taking Intro to Mathematical Proofs and Theorems 10 hours a week over Summer II, which gives a lot of homework. Almost all I do is work and homework. I went out to a bar last Wednesday with a girl known to be slutty hoping to get laid, but got rejected and only got 4 hours of sleep because I had work at 6 am.
I want to hear your successes anons, it'll keep me going until I finish this class and graduate.

>>42227109
Im used to eating huge high meat less vegetable meals (IE salisbury steak) and have been enjoying rapid arm progress, but my gut has been extremely neglected Its at most a beer gut and minor at that but i dislike it greatly, its my only problem at the moment.
Dont want to EVER become one of those fat fucks.

>>42227158
I'm >>42226946

I am making $53k a year with the government now and guaranteed to be a GS-12 in three years. I also got an offer to teach basic econ at my local university but turned it down ($5k to teach a class, what a joke kek).

If you read my former post, I feel like life for me has really turned around. This job is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and I found a new passion in cryptocurrencies. Life's good if you keep your head up.

>>42227155
22 is still a young age to figure this stuff out, I'm 29 bruh. You will be stronger because of what you had to experience, and make strong family bonds for your family. Godspeed anon

>>42227084

But its really late her 4:25 am isnt even good for my health.

Really talk with your dad. I helps me a little bit if i could help with my story at least one guy and save him from bitterness.
I mean do it really. I know it is 4c and you read what a random guy says, sleep, next day, fuck it and forget it.
But it isn't easy to talk about it so late with your dad. It is perhaps like talking to a girl you adore, but it really helps you for the future, because this bitterness could cause mental problems. I really thought i never will get anytime in this state i am now with this problems. Because i have a strong mind. But put it on 1st of your todo list. It is atm summer anyway, and invite your dad for a coffee at a nice parc, or get some cake from a bakery and trink some coffee with your dad at a nice day and then just talk to him. Have to go now. Good Luck Anon

>>42227180
great job i'm happy for you my man
thanks for the kind words my man
people are always lurking

I fucked up
bad
On my left arm near the bone the muscle is super fucking bruised i think
Im not FUCKING SURE because the outer skin is showing no symptoms of it...
Theres no purple bruising
i've had to take a break from my lifting and the pain is much less horrible
what the fuck did i do and has anyone had similair problems?
i think it was the stupid fucking forearm exercize i had been doing which likely didnt help
So what did i do?

I hate my life
I hate my career
My life is in an upswing but I'm still miserable.
I'm undoubtedly peaking right now...
I'm hitting PRs, a few girls might be interested in me, I'm performing well at my job, I'm financially stable...
but I'm still depressed as ever.

Happiness is always temporary, food is bland, friends are fake, life is but a drone. Sleep and dreams is the only escape. 6 hours of escape for 18 hours of misery. What a way to live.

>>42227185
i'm 27 ;), the problems starts escalating with 22. I really hope i could be 22 and live more for myself and not just studie train and then help a toxic family with their problems.
But read
>>42227198
Good Luck Anon ;)

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>>42225502
You are an absolute pathetic being. So many men have endured far worse hardships, mistakes, and heartbreaks than yourself and made a better life for themselves. Man the fuck up and realize that life continues. Nothing lasts forever, especially not relationships. Not telling you to move on and start dating instantly. But fuck, being so eager to kill yourself just makes me repulsed by you rather than pitying you.

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Well besides my over critical father that manages to make me feel like a worthless piece of shit, everything is fine, same old boring day.

>>42227225
>>42225502
agreed, normally i hate those fags that come to these threads to tell people to grow up and stop being sad

but fuck dude. thats pathetic

>>42225412
>The ugly
>The coworker
Kek

>>42227149
cheers for the uplifting posts
I'm trying to stay positive and I believe I'll end up fine but I guess the journey isn't easy

Seriously what the hell did i do? (its not DOMS)
its bruised right around the bone and when its bad (after workout) i cant even rest my arm because it stings like a bitch and its more efficient to hold it up like a retard
fucking hell

>>42227211
You need to change your outlook, anon. My advice is to go get some therapy and cut some 4chan out of your life. This place turns people bitter as fuck and cynical. Life's not all shit. Not to sound like my mom, but when you make room for the little things, days start to fill up with meaning.

>>42227254
No problem, mate. I think part of living now is just changing your outlook. Not everything in life is shit.

>>42225318
at least you got a cool cat.

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>>42227256
See a difference doctor this sounds srs. Stop lifting. Seek medical attention you tard.

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>>42223307
Pretty good. I just woke up
>had girl I'd been seeing over
>her a.c. was out so I told her to sleep at my place
>we fugged all night
>the sex actually was pretty disappointing, she wasn't in as good shape as I thought and was kind of loose (maybe my ex was just incredibly tight, idk)
>shes really nice though, the cuddling was good
>so tired at work my eyes were burning all day
>today is pay day
>gym on my lunch break like usual
>biceps and shoulders (modified version of tunas 3 day split) good shit
>leave the office and crash at home from 5:30-10pm
>fuck slept through my plans
>also need 1000 calories and 60g of protein by midnight (intermittent fasting)
>order bigass burger and fries (1200 cal and 88g protein)
>chilling and playing vidya with my buddies tonight
>been making all kinds of social and fitness and work gains lately, but it never feels like enough

>>42227291
I cant afford that shit, i would have went a long time ago.
i'm not losing my gainz even if i do lose my left arm i'm not quitting my gainz

>Friendly reminder you might be wasting your life
>Your golden years are when you are young
>When you hit your 50s
>People start losing jobs and can't get good work
>Some retire and end up with nothing at all to do anymore

How do I help with depression without medication?

I know it stems from loneliness, platonic and romantic, but I know I need to find happiness in being alone first.

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>>42227180
I'm the guy you replied to. Thanks for the good vibes. I like the Neizsche quote a lot, and I've read halfway through Meditations. I'm good at keeping my head up, but sometimes I just need that extra boost

>>42227336
>https://examine.com/supplements/hypericum-perforatum/
Try this. But better advice is to address underlying issues. If you're fat, lose weight. If you're stupid, take some classes or read more. If you're lonely, reach out to those closest first and reconnect; after, reach out to new people.

Don't know if you're into this shit, but maybe modafinil might be good for you as well. It brought me all the way through grad-school. Made me productive as fuck, full of energy, and obliterated my depression. Try other methods first before self-medicating on shit imported from India though kek.

>>42227336
keep yourself busy and occupied, the less time to wallow in self pity the better

>>42225813
>Masters in anatomy, where is that educational system and how it works? US?
>I thought you either go straight to med school like in Europe or do a pre-med undergrad and then go to med school like in US.
There is no real requirement for med school. I know people who went in right out of the army with no degree. You can get a PhD then apply if you want.

Yo

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>>42227107
Don't give up my guy, I'm a recovering Skelly but I'm still going to make it happen. Be the person you will be proud of.

>cute gf
nice
>tfw goth slant gf
Maybe life is pretty terrible

>>42227147
But I only match with fat girls though

>>42227257
but I do make room for little things. I routinely make music, write poetry, go on hikes, do crafts like making chainmail... It's all become so bland that nothing is exciting anymore. Even when I don't visit 4chan for a week, everythying is still shitty.

>>42226649
good for you anon!

>>42227318
That's pretty fucking stupid dude. You got friends family or anyone who has a medical background? If u bust ur forearm your gonna regret it.

Best boxing workout?

Good
>New job in new city making lots of money (over 100k)
>Can finally afford things I want
>Like my new job

Bad
>living situation isn't ideal, I went from having my own house all too myself to 2 roommates (they're friends of mine)

I'm seriously thinking of taking a pay cut and moving back to my old city where I still have my house. I also just moved up here and haven't been in the gym all week.

>>42227480
No medical background and all of my family is poor as shit to, i dont want to bust my forearms i want big forearms actually the problem is man i cant give up my gains by just sitting on my ass i took a day of rest today, i gotta get back to it though.
I have a good feeling its the weird forearm workout i was doing (probably doing it wrong)
With that said effective forearm exercise?

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>>42227432
Why do you think that everything is shitty or bland? Normies are appeased by Chipotle and Kim K and find those are reason enough to live and enjoy life. So, why do you think everything is bland? Are you too routined? Lack a gf/wife or meaningful relationships? Are you too hard on yourself and feel you don't deserve happiness despite your high performance and achievements?

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>>42224385
So you're just gonna lay down like a dog

I havenn't had friends since I was 13, and that's caused every problem in my life.

I have ADD and I'm weird as fuck, a deadly combination of weirdness and being annoying that drives people away from me.

Not having friends led to social isolation, and also never meeting girls

Becoming isolated meant I became lonely, miserable, bitter through high school, so I didn't learn how to interact socially with peers, which carried over into college so i basically had the same existence there

All the isolation, misery, loneliness, etc, meant I had nothing to work towards, so no motivation, mediocre grades, shit emaciated body.

Graduate college, move back home, terrible relationship with parents, only child. Can't even get into grad school and work a shit job around other people who are actually successful

Now a 25 year old kissless friendless shut-in (besides work) who has never even attempted to get a girl and now I'm scared to not only try to get a girl, but even friends, because everyone has always hated me so I don't want to burden others with my presence. I've basically been a shut in since I started high school at 14. No life experiences at all. But honestly my virginity doesn't even bother me.

If I try to have "real" conversations with anyone and don't just crack jokes, or try to actually hang out with people, it will become clear very quickly that I have no friends, no girl, no life, awkward corner sitter, the people I talk to will repel from me because of this, and I'll be worse off than when I started.

I'm just grumpy, sarcastic and angry cracking jokes all the time. Can never be serious about anything, always have to make observational jokes or "witty" comebacks.

I listen to the things my coworkers talk about and literally cannot gather myself to care about their lives. I just get annoyed by most people.

I basically just exist and go through the motions of life at only 25 years old, the "prime" of my life.

>>42227488
What field?

>>42225502

Jesus christ dude fuck off, people with problems besides girl shit (serious medical issues, family, friends, deaths of loved ones) have bounced back, have some perspective on your obstacles, there's other people out there

>>42227560
I.T. Networking. 10 years exp though.

>>42227592
Random question but what certs do you recommend I pursue? I've heard they can be more important than a degree when looking for network positions

>>42225502
>being a literal teenager and wanting to kill yourself because a girl broke up with you

i hate this board so much

>>42227560
>>42227592
>Networking

Same here, what do you work on?

I'm guessing you are almost 30? How is life other than living with a bunch of dudes?

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>>42227611
Experience is king, but if you're into networking and want an entry level job go CCNA first. If you think you need to do some help desk first for experience you can get away with network+.

>>42227627
Mostly all Cisco, 4500x VSS, 6500s, nexus. More switching than routing and all the normal firewall stuff + wireless. Being 30 and making good money is nice, I'm saving over 4,500 every month, but I feel like maybe I would be happier back in my smaller town with my house and big yard. Well at any rate if I stay here for two years I'll have that house paid off if I want to move back.

What stuff do you work with?

>>42227655
Large enterprise networks

I'm also a former security engineer for a cyber company but I transferred to a network design engineer role this year. I work with solutions team, we basically design networks and certain things some clients need. We are booked for years to come and we pick up new clients and it will take a year or so before I even look at the diagrams they want to show me...

Frankly, I love the field and the job is great. I'm almost 30 next year, but quite different than most since I'm miserable as fuck living alone while "having money to spend on shit"


I basically work with anything in networking. Cisco, fortinet, ciena -layer2/3 mpls networks, 1-10g circuits, juniper, firewalls, routers, some switching, -meraki mostly..............

i could go on and on

I want to keep this personal though

How do you build relationships while being in such a high up role? I'm a fucking loner and even in my cyber security role I was pretty much a miserable loner..............

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Been on a cardio binge this week, just burned 700kcal on the rowing machine, 3000kcal for the week so far. 500 more tomorrow and that's a pound of fat, so I'm feeling good.

>>42226148
So much of this is me. Weird.

That quote was even my desktop before I changed it today.

>>42226153
>just want her to come home one day and ask for a fucking divorce so she can guilt free fuck someone else

What about you? What's keeping you with her? Muh guilts?

You gotta get that dumb shit out of your head and just get out. It's a lot easier than you think it is once you get the ball rolling.

>>42227760
You on a path of recovery too bro? If so, good luck mane.

Since im leaving 4chan soon im feeling pretty good.
My forearm is still killing me(left arm) but for some reason my right forearm seems innaffected
so /fit/ is there a reason for my right forearm being fine

>>42227700
>How do you build relationships while being in such a high up role? I'm a fucking loner and even in my cyber security role I was pretty much a miserable loner..............
So maybe there is a big difference between your role working for many different clients and I've always worked for a single enterprise network. I bring that up because I've always been on a team of 4-6 people and I always have to work closely with them to get stuff done. Then generally speaking I end up working with the same sysadmin people and workstation techs so I build relationships with them just out of habit, but I was at my last job for 9 years.

Do you feel like you're not making relationships with these people? If so is that really a problem? I assume people respect you for the work you do, but I keep my friends group separate from my co-workers.

If you don't mind me asking how much do you make? I hear architects in your role type do very well.

>>42227246
Glad you liked it. Thought about fucking her tonight, but, even though I'm on day 24 of nofap, I don't feel that horny.

>>42227819
Depends on the state

In Chicago, Denver, Texas, you could be making in over 160k. Senior solution architect are over 250k same goes for sales engineer, 200k+ easily but the travel sucks. The work isn't easy but it is amazing and I get to work with some top people, the issue is mostly with me and I just don't know how to make friends anymore. I only focus on work, and yes we have a very large team. One of the issues is I work remote too much and I work from a home office so I don't need to go into the office so much. Right now I'm not even sure why I do this anymore, I'm actually really alone and miserable most of the time.

As far as making friends with the people I work with directly, I usually work with them on a project basis, so next month I'll probably never work with these group of guys again

I have thought about taking a pay cut, and working for a smaller company as well. Frankly, I'm just not that happy in life anymore...
Either way, thanks for the kind (yous) i just have a new challenge I have to get over.

>>42227336
Finding happiness while alone just takes time, fame. Time and personal experimentation.

Establish a routine for your mornings. If you have a good routine, win the morning, you win the day.

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>I hate myself
>other people hate me because I hate myself
>People who don't hate you pity you
>No amount of lifting or learning will make you not hate yourself

Why is life so cruel to me?

>24 years old and no license
>big reason why is not having anyone to practice with
>no friends
>parents wont practice with me
>had 3 lessons over a month ago, instructor said i did pretty well and could probably pass the test, would even take me highway driving
>still havent done parallel parking, parking in a space, or highway driving
>got a lesson for tomorrow
>havent driven in over a month because i kept holding out hope i could practice outside of lessons but couldnt
>scared that all my progress time and money was wasted

Been super lonely, even though I'm surrounded by people to hang with almost constantly I feel myself shying away, being depressed.
I think about my ex too much and no matter how many dates I go on or people I fuck I just can't get over her.

So I'm feeling feels this Friday.

>>42227871
>the issue is mostly with me and I just don't know how to make friends anymore
So I think you should step away from trying to make friend at work and find something else.

I've made more friends than ever with my hobbies. Yes it did help that I did those hobbies at a college choked full of young people looking to make friends but I still talk with those people to this very day.

Find a sport or some other hobbies you might enjoy and I think you'll find that you make some friends there.

>>42227878
Anon, why do you hate yourself?
I'm sure you have plenty of valuable traits you overlook.

Why am I so autistic about talking to people and putting myself out there?

>>42227782
Recovery from fapping? I'm not sure. I think I don't really want to commit to the idea that I really had a very serious problem that was sapping all of the good things out of my life, because if I admit that, then it makes the whole nofap journey very real, and adds so much more pressure to it.

But, I do like the person that I feel that I am when I'm not fapping. I feel more focused and driven. I do things that are more outside of my comfort zone more comfortably. I do things that I would normally blow off because of no time or energy from fapping.

Good luck to you too.

>>42227918
your situation is probably like mine

>be autistic
>get told the best thin to do to overcome it is to be social as much as you can
>try to be social
>autism overload
>autism drives people away
>see that your attempts at being social are actually driving people away from you
>decide to stop trying

>>42227942
I am in social situations on a regular basis. I have a job and go to school. I just don' understand how people can have seemingly mindless conversations.

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>>42223307
Does anyone here feel like they were born just to fail.


I'm 25 and I dropped out of college when I was 20. I went from a business admin major to a marketing major to finally, an accounting major (I don't know why I picked that because I suck at math). I hated all three of my majors and I really didn't know what I was doing in school, so I just ended up leaving.

I've been working at this easy/shitty restaurant for the past 7 years and I'm finally ready to quit. I want to leave so badly. I hate all my coworkers and I feel like the place is really taking its toll on me. Even though its easy, I still fuck up a lot. I feel like a dumb fuck everyday I step foot into that building.

I've tried to find other jobs in offices, but no one wants to hire a college drop out. I can't even get an easy high school lvl office job.


I've tried to get a IT cert, but that didn't workout. I don't really want to go for a trade. I'm not physically/mentally strong enough for the military either.

All I want is to work in a nice office with good people. I just feel stuck right now and I feel like nothing will ever change.

WAS FEELING LOW, SO I DID WEIGHTS AND DRANK A LITRE OF 1% MILK WITH TWO SCOOPS OF COOKIES AND CREAM WHEY PROTEIN POWDER, NOW MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS THROUGH THE ROOF AND MY WIFE IS GETTING READY SO I CAN PRETEND THAT MY COCK IS THE DEATH STAR AND HER PUSSY IS ALDERAAN!!!FACT!!! https://youtu.be/5OkqAztfS-4

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>>42223307
After I left to join the Cf the girl of my dreams cropped up in my home town. We're talking, we're gonna date and everything seems fucking great.

I'm fightin for this girl, I'm working at the gym for this girl..... but if i don't get posted back home I really don't know how I'll react.

Wish me luck /fit/

>>42228028
>i want to better my life but i don't really want to work that hard for it

nigga, there is a point in everyone's life where they realize they gotta just make sacrifices. you can either stay a child and only do things you think is easy or you can actually try and stop being afraid of failure

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>>42225297
You sound like you like feeling bad for yourself

>>42228028
>I've tried to get a IT cert, but that didn't workout.
How?

>>42228063
I couldn't pass the exams.

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Post gains brothers
>were all gana make it

>>42223307

Went to the gym to spar. We had a BBQ after. Some cute girls were there. My mind was blank from exhaustion of the week and just general quietness I usually display. I cooked some stuff for them. One of them told me I looked like Jason Momoa. Lifted my spirits. I thanked her for the kind compliment.

Things are looking up bros. Makes me feel less bad about the two girls that ghosted me on dates this week

>>42228080
The first time you tried? That'll happen. What about the 2nd and 3rd?

>>42225562
I guess you can try meeting a wider array of people? Maybe you're with the wrong crowds

>>42225292
Huge yes. The playlists from Spotify are alright (NOT their lifting playlists though, it's like soft rap garbage) but the user playlists are where it's at

>the good
- Feeling motivated about my thesis, know what I have to do. Started to have more natural conversations with the other students. Going away for three weeks for thesis related work.
- Have successfully transitioned from spending everyday on 4chan and other chans to only one weekend every month, and even now (this is my one weekend of the month), I don't care for 99% of the content I see and just want to get back to doing other stuff.
- Can do three unassisted pull ups in a row, from being fully slack at the bottom to my collar bone touching the bar.
- started doing 15 minutes of cardio at the end of each workout (every second day) and I feel a lot better. Getting my heart rate up and having sweat dripping off me feels amazing. With the exception of deadlifts and squats, I don't get that doing other exercises.

>the neutral
- Still overall ambivalent about my thesis. Alternate between moments of motivation and extended periods of wondering what the fuck am I doing.
- There's a girl at the gym who I think has been checking me out, I know what car she drives, and by chance I saw her car parked outside her house while I was going for a run in a new area, so I now know where she lives.

>the bad
- I just can't seem to get my OHP form right and keep getting pain in my lower back.
- gym always seems to be crowded.
- want a gf, but at the same time, have no idea what I'd do if I actually got one. I don't like going out, and I really like spending time by myself.

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>>42228047

Good luck my fellow leaf. On a personal note, I actually asked someone out and went on a date last week, for the first time in years. It felt great and we're seeing each other again Sunday. Hopefully, I'll actually have the chance to truly open myself up to someone.

>>42225792
pretty shit initially, 10$/hr but you work your way up to bar tending which ends up earning you couple huindered in tips a night.

>>42225605
You're young still. You're in a slump right now, but you can fix it. This can become just a hiccup in the grand scheme of things. Or... It can become your new life. Only you can make the difference

>>42228095
I haven't tried retaking it yet. idk I feel like I'm only doing IT because it will help me get a job. I don;t even really like it.

If I did get an IT cert I would probably get just a help desk job. And desu I make more money in tips at the restaurant than I would being a help desk.

>>42228167
which job has more potential for advancement, though?

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>>42228134
>tfw you live the sweet sweet romance you always imagined while growing up with Scott Pilgrim

>>42225797
What did you have to do for rotc? There's a program on my campus and I'm a bit curious

>>42228181
Yeah I guess your right. I've thought about taking a low paying office job, but I didn't think it was worth it.

I mean does a receptionist look good on a resume? Or is being a receptionist in the same low tier category as being a server?

>Took an online course over the summer
>Going great, headed for a high A
>Finished final essay tonight
>Log in to submit it
>Turns out it was due last night and not tonight
>Teacher has a no tolerance policy for late work, emailed her that I was sure it was tonight but probably won't get a response
>Final was 20% of my grade, so not only will I no longer make an A but may not even make a B
>For a fuck-easy English class
>Failed OHP 3x5 again
I want to fucking kill myself

>>42228134
>truly open myself up to someone.
i don't even understand what this means.

>>42228231
Depends on the environment.

Both are kind of easy jobs. Why not do something challenging?

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>>42223307
Was about to go out tonight with a columbian girl I met recently, but decided to do weed and two pounds of chicken instead

>>42225397
No, you'll definitely regret not having pct. Get enough testosterone running through your veins and you'll forget about your problems of the past, and feel like a fucking god

>>42225695
Hey, I'm just getting settled back in after practice. We had some vigorous rolls today and it turns out I'm pretty okay in terms of bottom of side control. I was able to fend off people of a large range of sizes and belts.

>>42228256
Idk I just feel like I'm not smart enough. I always fuck up at my job at the restaurant, so I just feel like if I get a job thats actually challenging, I'll fuck up even more.

>>42225674
/pol/ is bad for you even if you agree with a lot of the ideology there. People there just don't care about other humans in any way shape or form. It's sad desu.

was gonna go to a movie tonight
tried to take a picture for cbt
am visually offensive
change plans, stay home and file my calluses

>>42228266
why?

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>>42228137
>tfw I get paid 9.65 at McDonald's and don't have to risk getting stabbed or shot

>>42223307
>fucked my GF in the ass
>feel like a faggot now

>>42228251
>Final was 20% of my grade, so not only will I no longer make an A but may not even make a B
>may
Good thing you didn't take a math course m9

In all seriousness though that's fucking rough. Happened to me twice early in college and killed my GPA, easy classes too. Wish profs would give a heavy penalty so you could at least salvage something, instead of just a flat 0.

>>42228321
>working at McDonald's
>happy with 9.65 an hour

>>42228321
yeah, you meet a shit ton of college sluts though, I go to FSU so its pretty dope.

>>42228305
Not that guy but I've learned this as well. It's a good source of current events and even some occasional good debate, but spending any time there just makes me feel kind of sick at the edge and misanthropy, be it ironic or genuine.
At least with /r9k/ you know a lot of it's dark humor. /pol/ isn't funny in any way

>>42228311
Because I'm addicted to that crap. Not sure if I can score another date with the little latina, but oh well...

>Had one of those rare "damn I'm really looking a lot better" days
>Install Tinder
>Swipe right on a ton of cute girls, some seem nice and down to earth, not thots
>Zero matches
>Delete it and feel disgusted with myself
It seems like no matter how much lifting, personal care, fashion improvement, and interpersonal skill development I do, I'm always light years away from actually being desirable. I had an earnest conversation with a trusted female friend about it, trying to get some perspective, and she essentially said that women can sense lack of confidence innately, and that there's nothing you can do about it to trick them or get around it.

>>42223307
Been better, but things are slowly getting better again. I'm hoping anyway. Slowly making progress towards a better life.

Spoke to an attractive girl and wasn't knew I wasn't in the mood to flirt, accepted that but still disapointed in myself for not. Not sure if its just in my head but I get the feeling she was disapointed too

>>42228379
FACE FRAME HEIGHT

>>42223483
I doubt you're here but if you are fuck you you selfish prick. Since you don't care about your life why don't you go become a fire fighter or EMT or Dr or something to help others.

There will always be people who have a tough time in their life and will need a hand to get back up. Instead of an heroing do something to make a difference and help them.

>Quarter life crisis
>Thinking seriously about my future
>Can't ever imagine any situation in which I'm living a fulfilling life with a woman I love
>Weird sense of dread has been getting worse and worse the last few weeks
>Don't get pleasure from doing anything, but don't feel depressed or want to kill self or live as a NEET
>Have no clue what I "should" be doing or feeling
>Feel like I've been coasting and masquerading ever since I became self-aware
>Don't know how to "be my real self" since I feel essentially no connection to anything
It's abstract man

>>42228379
you're focusing too much on external when you need to be focused on internal

Like
>confidence
>personality development
>self esteem

you should be building a solid character not wardrobe or chest

get into psychology and philosophy

look up

>Jordan Peterson
>alan watts
>Elliot hulse

here's a playlist with some self help things I've collected to keep myself from killing my self

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8ebmTjNK--9GrKaIr7p_T4zb5Fe-6KZD