/fit/ choose your own adventure

>You're in a club

Lost me.

>"yeah buddy"
>continue looking at qt
>move past chad using my outer hand to make it look like I'm moving him around and in control of him
>flirt with qt
>make out
>feel her up a bit
>take her back to mine

>>42179303
4

>>42179303
>op so autistic he doesn't include an option of what a normal person would do

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>>42179388
You buy everyone drinks at your own expense. Everyone cheers as they get free drinks on the house. But no one will remember your name. Chad smirks at you, grabs his new drink that YOU paid for, and starts to walk toward the girl that you are desperately trying to get. The girl looks over at Chad and her face flushes with arousal. This is your last chance before Chad swoops.
Will you:
1. Blindside Chad with a wild haymaker
2. Stab Chad with a broken beer bottle
3. Break a shot glass over Chad's head
4. Mutter to yourself about how she was obviously mirin, go back to your apartment, shitpost on /fit/ for two hours, and go to bed drunk and depressed
5. Call Chad out!
6. Be a man and walk up to the girl first all the while ignoring Chad.
7. Go to the gym and try to hit a new PR on the bench
8. Buy ecstasy off of the shady Guatamalan guy hanging around the bathroom, lace it into Chad's drink when he's not looking.
9. Call Adam to drive you home
10. Try to go for that cute blonde next to you instead. She appreciates that you bought drinks for everyone.

>>42179530
Dubs decide

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>>42179530
6

>>42179530
Ten

>>42179568
This

>>42179530
option 11.

whip out the 9 and fire at chad and stacey

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>>42179530
10

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>>42179530
6

>>42179611
We did it
>here comes chad after her now

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>>42179530
You start talking to the blonde girl. Things are going good, she's a biochem major at the local university, loves to work out, and generally seems like a decent person. Hours pass by and you can feel the tension growing. She looks like she's really into you. You got this. Or do you?
Will you:
1. Ask if she wants to be taken back home
2. Keep talking to her
3. Kiss her
4. Ask for her number
5. Whip out your dick and start stroking it
6. Take off your shirt, "you mirin?"
7. Be an autist and sperg out, y-you too...
8. "I'm sorry but do you have a feminine penis?"
9. Try to force yourself on her
10. Buy more drinks
11. Call Adam over
12. Call out Chad who's taking the chick you wanted home

>>42179751
one

>>42179751
4

>>42179751
4

>>42179751
7

>>42179751
3

>>42179751
Is it still dubs
2

>>42179819
Yes still dubs

>>42179751
8

Acht

>>42179358
>move past chad using my outer hand to make it look like I'm moving him around and in control of him
>Chad: "You autistic or what?"
>y-you t-too!

>>42179751
11
I want to know adam

>>42179751
Three

>>42179841
Reroll

>>42179751
6

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>>42179855
Winnar

>>42179855
Fuck pls OP

I tell her to feel my quinticep, which is actually my peepee strapped to my leg

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>>42179855
>>42179751
You take off your shirt and asks if she's mirin. Unfortunately your pecs are a little lacking and your abs are barely visible. You do have nice legs though but you're wearing pants dumb ass. Years of being on a permabulk have made your upper body a little unaesthetic. Meanwhile Chad's rock hard six pack and V taper are felt up by that qt pie who is now very drunk. The blonde chick who you thought you had a chance with is now looking at you with a sign of pure revulsion. She is not miring at all. Good going lad. Should've done this on your cut to be honest. How will you make things up now?
Will you:
1. Put your shirt back on, apologize, and try to rekindle the tension that you've previously had
2. "Fuck that cunt I'll just hit up someone else instead, she looks pretty cute."
3. "Fuck that cunt I'll just hit up someone else instead, he looks pretty cute."
4. "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN EVERYTHING BABY CHECK THESE OUT!" You tear off your pants.
5. "Heh little does she know that I can squat 3 plate easy." You try to pick her up and attempt to squat with her on your shoulders.
6. "Yeah I might not look the best right now but did you know that I can squat three plate?"
7. Try to force yourself on her
8. Ask if she's mirin once again.
9. Kiss her
10. Call Adam over
11. Call Chad over
12. Walk out of the club and cry yourself to sleep.

>>42179751
OP where you at

>>42179982
4
In it this deep

>>42179982
4

>>42179982
10
You need back up

>>42179999
Checked

>>42179530
10
Nigga I swear if you invent another obstacle..

>>42179568

This is the only approved response.

>>42179303
8

>>42179999
i want to learn of this adam boi

hold on eating dinner will be back in a few

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>>42180148
what the fuck

>>42180148
where do you live OP? the pacific ocean? what sort of time is this for dinner

But I don't drink.

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>>42179982
You call Adam over. It is known that when Adam was born his mother named him "Adam" since no other name would be more apt. As God made the first man, Adam, in his own image. When he was in seventh grade Adam had to switch schools over a scandal involving him and his thick home economics teacher. The teacher is still said to be lusting over him in her prison cell to this very day. In high school Adam was nominated most desirable and most likely to be the future president of the United States. In his years at Harvard University, Adam was classified as a STD on campus. Adam was once asked by Dos Equis to play as the most interesting man in the world, but he refused by stating that they were a "bunch of normies". Adam is the pinnacle of what it means to be slayer. He is the man that chads bow down to. He is the textbook definition of a male 10/10. Think David Gandy but richer, smarter, and more successful. Now he took the time out of running his Fortune 500 company to help you get laid. Sometimes you wonder why he's even friends with your ugly ass. Adam arrives and the blonde chick instantly creams her pants like it's the Niagara falls. "Sup?"
Will you:
1. Take Adam aside and ask if he could hook a brother up with one his side hoes.
2. Take Adam aside and ask if he could help you with this blonde chick
3. "Fuck this bitch, let me suck your cock you beautiful bastard."
4. "Let's tag team her Adam."
5. Ask if you could get a ride home in his Aston Martin.
6. "C-can I watch you fuck her Adam...?" You fucking beta.
7. "That's it Adam you and me outside right now."
8. "Adam can I borrow ten million dollars?"
9. You walk to the bar to get another glass for Adam.
10. "ISHHHHGTTT FUCK YOU CUNT AND FUCK YOU ADAM THIS IS A BETA UPRISING." You stab Adam in the eye with a pen and try to slam your cock into the blonde girl's mouth.

>>42180305
10

>>42180305
3

>>42180305
10

>>42180305
2
duh
maybe 4 if trips

>>42179303
>implying making chad your bro wouldn't be the best option

>>42180305
how do i fuck adam

>>42180356
fuck so close
reroll
>so many street signs

>>42180305
6

>>42180305
7

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>>42180367
>keep being off by one

>>42180305
10
This is where fun begins come on

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>>42180305
8

>>42180377
my god

>>42180377
BETA UPRISING BEGINS NOW

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>>42180377
your doomed
now you'll have to fuck someone in prison
>good thing you can squat 3 pl8

>>42180305
You stab Adam in the eye and he collapses to the floor. You jammed the pen so far into his eye that it went into his brain. Good going dude you actually killed Adam. Then all hell breaks loose. Every single beta in the club hears your call for revolution and the club descends into absolute chaos. The Chad that you just saw swooping your girl gets stabbed in the gut by a broken beer bottle by that gangly guy you knew in college. Fire, chaos, blood. This is was your true calling all along. You grab the blonde bitch by the hair. You whip out your cock and forcefully shove it against her mouth. She's hesitant but almost turned on by you murdering the most Alpha males to have ever existed. Maybe she's actually willing? But as you try to jam your cock into the blonde girl's throat a rough hand grabs you by the neck and everything turns to black...
Will you:
1. Scream for help.
2. Stab the hand that grabbed you.
3. Keep trying to shove your cock into the girl's throat
4. "WE MUST KEEP THE SPIRIT OF THE REVOLUTION ALIVE BROTHERS HEAR ME!!!"
5. Pray to Adam's ascended soul for help
6. Do nothing

>>42180489
6

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bumping for this trainwreck

>>42180489
2

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>>42180489

>>42180489
3 we in for that poosy

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>>42180489
4

>>42180489
5
Bros beyond the grave. He understands

>>42180489
>inb4 Adam just told death to fuck off

OP do you have write-ups for all the possible scenarios? Some of these are so hilarious I'd love to see alternate story lines.

>>42180525
i think he writes them up as he goes

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>>42180511
>>42180489
Your beta brothers shove the Chad off you and begin to tear him apart limb from limb. You gasp off for air as you struggle to get up. You can hear the police sirens wailing outside in the distance. This just might be the end. But you're calm. Almost peaceful. After all these years drudging through the confines of society, you finally understand what your true calling was in this world: to lead your fellow brothers in revolution against the Chads and Stacies who laughed at you. With newfound strength you put yourself up on a stool. Lmao manlet. With a iron voice you boom, "MEN FORM UP!" The betas hear your command and assemble. They are utterly devoted to your cause and will follow you into hell itself if you so wish.
Will you:
1. Order all the betas to grab as many makeshifts weapons they can find and follow you outside to confront the police
2. Rally the betas in an inspiring speech
3. Assign a chain of command to the most loyal betas
4. Make a new name for your uprising
5. Take the Chad's heads as trophies
6. Command the blonde chick to be your new harem waifu or face summary execution
7. Run away and never speak of this incident again
8. Sperg out in front of the crowd like the autist you are
9. Order your men to disperse and collect every weapons they could find all the while recruiting every beta from ear to ear.
10. Kill yourself. You have little to no chance against "them"
11. Call upon Adam's ascended soul for guidance in these dark days.

>>42180598
11

>>42180598
6

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7

>>42180598
8

>>42180598
11

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>>42180598
9
it's absolutely beautiful

>>42180598
4

Name it the silly billy willy clib

>>42180598
6

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8

>>42180598
11

>>42180635
reroll

>>42180598
10

>>42179303
>You're in a club.
ITT: things that never happened

>>42180598
9

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>>42180598
this shit just got out of hand
11

>>42180598
2

>>42180598
9

>>42180598
6

>>42180598
9 pls

>>42180598
10

>>42180659
I literally went to three clubs, each one time, in my life. I'm 25. You too can be this based, anon.

>>42180598
9 lets go

>>42180677
kek i won

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>>42180677
good job asshole
i guess you can chill with adam

>>42179303
8 make friends with Chad and then continue on to cutie

9 nigga

>>42180677
A L P H A

>>42179303

Is that Chad Johnson from the Bachollerete? He's such a fucking alpha male.

>>42180768
His twitter is gold

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>>42180677
Like the coward you are, you decide it is best to kill yourself instead of dying a glorious death for a cause worth fighting for. You grab a kitchen knife and commit sepukku. Or atleast you try to. You barely grazed your stomach you stupid cunt. How are you this bad? Adam's beautiful mug looks down on you from the heavens with utter contempt. He is furious, not because of you murdering him but that you'd rather be willing to take the easy out like a little bitch... anyways the betas rush to your aid and patch you up real nicely. They prop you up on their shoulders chanting "ANON ANON ANON" HE HAS ARISEN!!!!" Now you are a Christ figure. The Betas are even more firmly resolved to your cause.
1. Will you lead the betas to a holy war against the Chads and Stacies?
2. Establish a new order of the Holy Beta Templars?
3. Make praying to Adam a mandatory rite for all betas in your Knightly Beta Order
4. Pray to the all merciful Adam for guidance in your new Crusade
5. Run away and never speak of this incident again
6. Do nothing

>>42180782
2

>>42180782
3

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>>42180788
win already

Fuck sorry guys something came up and I got to leave. This was fun while it lasted. I'll be making more of these threads in the future though so feel free to join in.

>>42180813
k bye

>>42180813
Thanks OP. Had fun.

>>42180813
This is like /fit/ DnD. We should do this every weekend faggets.

>>42180813
amazing thread, but enjoyed it more before the whole beta-uprising thing

>>42180813
thanks ohpee it was tight

>>42179303
2

>>42180813
would read again/10

>>42180782
Why couldn't we have just settled for Adam's dick instead of getting a bunch of innocent people killed and becoming a holy figure for autists?

>>42180813
>Remember - no gf
I laugh too fucking hard, looking forward to next time

>>42180813
great thread!

>>42180813
Please do come back.

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>>42180813
Ty op

>>42179358
Literally the only right answer>>42179303
And fuckwit op didn't list it

>>42180813
Fucking lmao

>>42179303
>You're in a club
>The chicks are hot

I've noticed that most clubs are fucking sausage fests with at least 85-95% of the people in there being male.

>>42179303
im 6'2 and i can foq chad in the ass

>>42180598
11

>>42180813
ty op

love you

OP I NEED CLOSURE

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>>42180813

>>42179303
I have a gf if chad tries to do anything I am 5'10 and built similar to a chimp (I am not proud of this i have a 75" reach I look sort of like a whacky inflatable arm man). Anywho I see this chad man talking to my girl. I have to inform you im a boxer, jiu jitsu (brazillian), muay thai, and overall trained in all arts. In addition I am very educated 3 degrees and cool hobbies Im pretty artistic. So I could swoon my girl further alone with a piece of art that could have gotten hitler into art school or I could tell her historical facts of love and speak of the ye olde times before I continue to make her my weener wallet. Any who so this chad insists on fighting me. Its nothing personel chad but Im a badass and a genius. I begin discussing string theory with him and he cant think so his mind spins he becomes confused this is my chance. i teleport using a technique i gained training abroad in china (dont worry about it). And unsheath my genshi katana its sharp enough to cut a penny and the price (dont worry about it). I press the tip into chads spine and say "Combustion is volatile and irregular enjoy your flow" My blade pierces him. Chad dies.

>>42180813
good work op, we should have threads like this more often