/SIG/ - Self-Improvement General

What are normie hobbies?
It's a little overwhelming trying to develop hobbies when literally anything could be a hobby

>>42178767
Games, photography, drinking, cycling, riding and musical instruments

>>42178767
>>42178812
If you're an autistic weeb you should try to pick up the piano, (not literally). You can play some nice anime theme songs on the piano.

>>42178767
Dunno, I'll list my hobbies for inspo though. Dunno how normie they are

>cars (oldschool jap, wrenching, drifting), reading, tea, lifting, piano, violin, guitar, languages (french, want to learn italian and russian), longboard/skateboard, audio stuff, biking, shitposting, /fa/, keyboards, building stuff, cooking

Are JP's authoring programs actually worth doing to get a sense of your goals?

>>42178767
Cardio lifting and gaming. I don't see very many people that are into music surprisingly.

>>42178767
Read more, listen to music that isn't just top 40, go hiking, camping, stargazing, learn to cook, learn how to operate a ham radio or do woodwork.

Anything that's an unpaid version of a job is a good way to define most hobbies.

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>>42178748
>tfw weekend I went off track with my diet, missed Friday and Monday workouts.

I must repent.

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>>42178767
I paint/play Warhammer. I know it seems childish but the majority of the client base are actually 30-50 yo responsible adults with high paying jobs and families who use the hobby as a creative outlet. Also spending 50+ hours on a centrepiece model you will have on display for a lifetime is rewarding

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>>42178767
It stops being overwhelming when you realize that the vast majority of hobbies are agonizingly boring.

Trial and error will show you what you can enjoy for at least half an hour. That will be your hobby.

For me it's reading about ancient cultures and philosophy, music, both listening and making, programming, /3/, learning languages and of course anything lifting related.

My vices are:
>vidya
>movies and tv series
>drinking with friends
>shitposting here

I say you should strike a balance between your hobbies and vices for maximum comfy.

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What are some of the best books/resources on the basics of social interaction? I don't even mean pick up artistry, just the basics of holding conversations, with men or women, being interesting, thinking of things to say, how to use and read body language, so that I'm proficient or at least not completely retarded when it comes to talking to or being around people.

>>42178748
Weight lifting (aesthetics > strength)
Death metal. play the drums in a band
Boxing

3D modeling for vidya (job)

>>42181634
How to Win Friends and Influence People

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>>42178748
how do you ask girls out

>>42181740
Grills you already know or randoms?

Either way jus b urself

>>42181735
I read i little bit of it a while ago. From what I can remember I thought it was an old-timey meme book more about business than social dynamics. About shaking hands and being nice to your co-workers and stuff. Does it go into psychology, eye contact, body language, how social dynamics work, that sort of thing?

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>>42181765
ex co worker of mine. i see her everyone in a while in the grocery shop.

Ive just never done this before. what the hell do i even say

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>>42181792
>ayy yo gurl lemme holla at u. u want sum fukk?
ALTERNATIVELY
>start conversation with her about some stupid shit that she'll find interesting
>get her in a receptive mood (happy, giggling and shit like that)
>ask her if she wants to catch up sometime (if you know her well enough to actually catch up)
>If you don't know her that well ask her if she wants to go out with you sometime or to specific event/location/date
>if you don't know her that well and you lack the testicular fortitude to be direct, ask for her number and learn how to text game

werks for me. Can't tell you exact words to say though because that's retarded

Most important thing to remember is that it doesn"t matter if you get rejected because all women are stupid cunts desu

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>>42178767

I'm getting into enjoyment hobbies, such as:
>cooking (real MEALS, pouring my heart in the kitchen)
>tobacco (cigarettes, cigars and pipes; goes hand in hand with literature)
>alcohol (whisky, brandy, scotch, Mixology, etc.)
>micro-dosing psychedelics (mainly LSD)
>speed (methamphetamine and cocaine, paired with some opioids after, like klonopin or xanax)

All in moderation, it's possible, I'm doing it.

Doesn't interfere with my fitness, my academic life, my mindfulness and overall sortedness, I'm always vigilant.


DO NOT ABUSE. GET SORTED FIRST, THEN YOU CAN TRY DOING THIS.

>>42181910
Be especially careful with speed, really.
Check your hormones before trying it too.

>>42181910
Three of those things are the straight-up opposite of self-improvement.

Probably four honestly, every dude I've known who regularly microdosed came off as a sorta creepy weirdo.

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>>42181910
>paired with some opioids after, like klonopin or xanax

>>42181910
If you actually believe any of your post, I'm genuinely sorry for you.

>>42181910
>>42181941
>every dude I've known who regularly microdosed came off as a sorta creepy weirdo.

really? I was thinking about trying to microdose because my brain is just so slow and I'm cripplingly autistic.

>>42181989
That's just the impression I've gotten from them. If you're cripplingly autistic, I don't think microdosing is gonna solve your social problems.

Taking acid is fun, but you gotta make a whole day of it. Go hiking or just walk around the city if it's nice out.

>>42181894
The only thing we everr talk about is either school or work related stuff.

I'm a one dimensional dweeb who spends his Saturday nights playing civilization and shit posting on a fitness inspired anime image board

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>>42182121
If you're as bad as you say then my sincere advice is to forget about the girl for now and to focus on 'sorting yourself out'. Even if you do convince her to go out with you it won't last if you remain a developmental manlet.
Take some time to figure out what you want from life, I mean really take the time to do it, then work out what aspects of your life are helping you towards your goal and what aspects are hindering you. Foster the positives and discard the negatives.

Only once you're on the way to conquering yourself should you worry about others. You can try and do both at the same time if you must, but if you can't keep your life from being a trainwreck how could you stop a relationship from becoming one?

Apologies for typing liking a feg.

>>42181254
Worked out today, feel relieved that I finally did it. Almost got 1pl8 bench today but I failed. Way better than not going at all.

How can I learn to casually dance at a bar or party?

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I have a problem with my movements around girls. When hugging them my movements are really rigid and awkward and I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I also don't know how to hug properly, if that makes sense. It always seems to be really awkward. Is there a resource on how to touch/hug properly?

>>42182462
learning shuffling, you can use it in a number of music genres

>>42183374

Links to tutorials that take me from "Can't move legs" to "Dance God"?

Anybody here have/had social anxiety?
I recently realized mine's way worse than i thought. I have to get this shit fixed before i can focus on anything else.
Probably not as bad as this >>42182696, but it has been an issue all my life. I just want to experience the world without this constant fear of non-existent threats.
My home and my gym are pretty much the only places i feel comfortable

>>42183509
>tfw I don't even feel safe in my room

Do you guys have a system to actually read, watch and listen to all the self-improvement crap you find?

I've been far more productive on that regard since I started downloading entire playlists on 4k VD and sending them to my iPad. Having a list to keep track of what I've seen and what I have to see is working too.

>>42183808
I only buy/download one book at a time and I only allow to get the next one when I finnished it

>>42181791
No, from what I remember it was basically a how to on being in customer service. I get being nice and taking interest in others is important and basic shit like remembering people's names but imo the book tells you to take it way too far into yes-man/pushover territory.

>Learned how to cook
>Started doing meal prep
>Actually starting to see some gainz

Learning to cook made everything so much easier. Learn as many practical skills as you can.

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>>42182401
Hey anon, you're not typing like a feg. We're here to help each other make it.

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I'm making decent improvements all around. Acutally working out and not eating like shit but I cannot seem to do no fap. Ik it's a "meme" or whatever but I'm not really trying to do it for crazy "super powers" or whatever. I'm just a lonely dude waiting for my semester to start and all I can think of doing once I workout/cut/done playing vidya is jerking my dick. Any suggestions friends?

Alright Bois, just visited college and it was amazing how easy it is to get grills there. Now I am back in my home town for a month and a qt I know keeps texting me. She has literally said she would fuck me, but she doesn't know if she feels right about it because we have an age difference of almost two years(1.9 years) and she is younger. It is legal where I live. I was an ugly motherfucker all my life until recently, so I have no experience with grills that like me, just with lesbians and fat chicks who would talk to me about their problems, but now that I am /fit/, /fa/, and over 6ft, grills actually fucking like me. How do I talk to the qt to let her realize that 18 and 16 is not a big deal? I actually like her as a person(srs) so I don't want to mess up the friendship.

>>42178748
How to prevent meltdowns, I mean extreme sadness? Also how to be more willing to improve myself? I am extremly stubborn when It comes to changes.

Am I the only one who tries to improve myself with the end-goal of being like a shitty super-hero/super-human/king amongst men? What kind of motivations do you guys have?

>>42183383
https://youtu.be/jcuzu160DTA

This guys pretty good

>>42184527
You are on this planet and this life for a limited amount of time. Unless you believe in fairytales this is only thing you will ever experience before fading into nothingness.
Your job is it to experience as much as you can, be the best you can.

Daily reminder that drinking is not a hobby, ya filthy degenerates

>>42183509
I signed up for a psychologist once and the one piece of good advice I received was perceive this anxiousness as excitement, try to get into anxious situations to get through it instead of trying to avoid it and write about anxious experiences after they happen to identify what you might have done differently and how you felt

worked pretty well

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>sad cunt circlejerk threads

I've been away for a while. Good to see these abominations still exist

I love art and I really want to create something, but drawing exercises bore the shit out of me. Should I keep going until I'm able to draw stuff from imagination? Because right now it's 0 fun.

>>42178748
I have a lot of things that I must do, that I should do and that I could do, yet I can't even deal with the first.

Has anyone here been very lazy semi-neet and managed to turn their life around into high productivity? How did you do it?

>>42187034
As with all things anon, gotta get basics down.
Little personal example, a friend and I started playing guitar about the same time. He went with learning chords and notes and theory and I went straight to guitar tabs to learn "dope" songs and because that was more fun than practicing scales or chord progression. Several years later, guess who is an actual musician and guess who can only play a couple songs and knows 2 chords

>>42181740
"Let's grab a drink"

>>42184198
I would recommend not having sex with her.

>>42187173
I changed from being a neet to holding a full-time job basically against my will, I had a duty to my parents not to quit. I felt suicidal for several months. I still thoroughly dislike it and don't know what my way out is.

That's the reality of "productivity" for most people. It rarely makes you feel good. That's why so few people do it willingly.

Then you get the occasional guy who's motivated by sheer passion and enthusiasm. I've felt it before. I have no explanation for it.

How can I make my doggos stop being little shits and behave?
When I walk them and let them loose in the park they will run away from me, the will constantly be pulling the cords as I walk them, constantly crossing from left to right...

>>42178767
I already have too much stuff on my plate to take up glassworking, so you should go take up glassworking for me.

>>42187811
Make them respect you. They need to see you as the leader

I want to get into the meditation meme. How do you do it? Am I just supposed to sit down in a dark room and try not to think of anything? Is there any beginner guide to meditation or something like that that could give me a few pointers?

>>42187801
Fuck, I wish this world was better.

It always boils down to "just do it even though you hate it, every single day for the rest of your life"

>>42188018

You really should buy the mind illuminated, it's the best book by far.

>>42181791
>Does it go into psychology, eye contact, body language, how social dynamics work, that sort of thing?

Yes. Look at the index of the book and I believe there is a section on how to be a good conversationalist. You do need eye contact and sincere interest in what the other person is saying. You need to listen intently.

What I might add is that it helps to know a lot in general, something that helped me in conversations is just practicing explaining how things work, explaining stories, etc. Record yourself.

>>42187801
>That's the reality of "productivity" for most people. It rarely makes you feel good. That's why so few people do it willingly.
I actually really enjoy being productive when I get to use my knowledge, like when I write a program, or solve a difficult math problem, but actually getting to the stage where I have usable knowledge is just so fucking hard.

>>42179310
> not literally
thanks for clarifying, anon.

>>42187866
The male respects me, but the female kinda does what she wants most of the time. Are you saying that I should beat the ever loving shit out of her?

When they missbehave I give them a spank once or twice, but not really with force, just firm to show that I was not pleased with them.

>>42188171
No don't beat your dogs lol. If you prevent the female from pulling you around maybe she'll stop? If she wants to cross the street don't let her, that type of thing. I'm not a trainer genius I'm afraid

>Cut out two close friends in my life because drugs
>Over the past week I've had 8 beers and 4 cigarettes
>Been a week and four days since liquor and coke
>Social life dwindled heavy, but gf and her family are proud of me
>Stopping my porn addiction today
>Can do 20 pushups without rest, can bench 80 pounds (i'm a skinny dude, but my pull up game strong)
>Looking for a job

I'm excited to see where I'll be a year from now. I'm glad to have read these threads.

>>42181634
7 habits of highly effective people

>assume full responsibility for your life, learn to set realistic goals, to always begin with whatever is the hardest, to think win/win and become emotionally independent
>literally changed my life

>>42181894

just built a new PC, thanks for the rare pepe. It'll be the first in my new collection.

>>42188078

This is a sad truth. The even more sad part is that I'm a forensic tech at a medical examiner's office, constantly surrounded by death.

>>42188145
I have a job in programming and IT, and I enjoy doing those things, but the job is mostly boredom, bullshit, annoying co-workers, stress. And then you get a problem that is too vaguely defined and no one is willing to help you. That really fucks you over.

My point is that we have this idealised vision of doing fun things, being productive, but it never pans out that way, there's always the bullshit attached to it.

>>42188401
Well, you already made it. That's a huge step up from where I am right now.

>>42188283
this is awesome

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>>42178748

Hey, guys I'm in a difficult situation.

My girlfriend went fro a church charity trip to Africa for 1 month with 4 other girls and 1 guy. They will be staying at the place patron rented them and they will be helping children.

We have been seeing together for 3 months and just before her trip we went to our trip for a few days. After our trip we said goodbye and she was crying a lot and said that she really wants us to hang out after she comes. I said that I can't say this for 100% because a lot of things can happen but I hope and I think that everything will be okay. I said that we are responsible for our actions and we can only trust in another person and only then can we achieve the same goal (being together). I also said that although I know her for 3 months there are some qualities that I appreciate in her and that's why she's the girl I've been with the longest. All the other girls I've been with, I've ended it after 1 or 2 months because they were annoying or had bad personality qualities. She told me she loved me for the first time (I never told it first, only after she said, I said I love you too). She was crying her eyes out and I gave her my bracelet for memory and she cried even more. The next day I came to say goodbye before she left her home and she was crying but I kept it lighthearted and said that I hope she will have a good time because I know she's been waiting for this trip for so long. She wanted us to stay in touch via skype. She set a picture of us together for he phone background.

She then texted me when she arrived and said that we could hear each other soon via skype. I said "cool, text me when you plan to call so we can arrange time." She replied today:

Is 8am tomorrow good for you?:)
Because in the evening it's really spontaneous and I can't tell you in advance when I'll have wifi:)

This made me fucking angry.

(cont.)

>>42188457

Spontaneus? What the fuck is this shit? Only bad choice of words or what? Spontaneous for me means partying in shit and not not having a wifi.

I somehow wanted to show her that I'm not okay with this but I can't come off mad or sad (that's beta). I don't like her choice of words mostly.

So I replied:

"I'm working tomorrow morning:)"

I think that it's a good reply as it shows that I have shit to do and I'm not waiting for her all the time. And if she really wants she will get in touch with me.

NOW MY BIGGEST PROBLEM IS MY FUCKING MIND. I OVERTHINK EVERY SHIT.

I'm pretty alpha in our relationship, I don't show too much emotions even I feel them, I wait to cool off and act. I lead all the time. I think she is really in love with me.

BUT

1 month is a long time. Feelings can change, we can start drifting apart. And girls are girls. They can cheat. My worst fear is that she will cheat and come back like nothing happened and I'll never know.

I will stay loyal, I'm 100%. I could cheat this weekend with some girls that were all over me, but I rejected them. I'm not bad person. I just hope that she is not stupid.

I can't stop thinking about this shit to be honest. And this text message, spontaneous? What the fuck.

That's why I'm thinking about breaking up with her to end it all. I can't handle this shit for 1 month bros.

Has anyone ever been in this situation and can give some advice? I trust her, but 4chan and redpill taught me the truth about girls. You really can't trust them even if they're the nicest girl ever. They can still cheat and lie to your face and the worst thing is you will never find out.

>>42188283
It this your first time trying to quit?

>>42188283

Good on you for dropping the blow, mate.

Had a case at work today where a party of three bought some coke. They snorted it and one of them realized it wasn't coke. All three passed out. Only one woke up.

The cocaine was cut with fucking FENTANYL.

>>42188476
Dude its africa. Humanitys asshole. Power is intermitent. Wifi is a treasure for just a few hours. And its a mission trip... You are being insecure.

>>42188423

IMO, "making it" is subjective to the individual just as much as it is on his peers to think of him as making it. It is all relative to the individual's goals.

I hardly consider being a state laborer in a morgue "making it", despite my job being pretty cool objectively.

>>42188476
>>42188457
Pretty much what this anon >>42188514 said. You're being insecure. She probably does all her mission work in the evenings. The fact that she is still wanting to talk to you in the mornings should be good with you.

>>42188495
It's my second active attempt. What's driving me right now is the fact it feels uncomfortable as fuck when I meditate and take deep breaths. I miss running too. For now I've been making milkshakes and coffee but as the days go by I'm slowly moving closer to liking my coffee black. I never used a chaser or mixed my liqour either.
>>42188498
Oh man. My first time with H was wicked. I felt like a vampire. I was thirsty as shit and everytime I tried drinking water I'd throw it up. The come up was fun as shit though-- Rubbing my hair.

>>42188514

That's true and I understand when I look at it from the logic point of view. But I didn't like her text really. Because in the evening it's REALLY SPONTANEUS and I can't tell you in advance when I'll have wifi:) what the fuck?

But yeah, I agree with you and my logical brain also does.

But after I took the red pill I have really strong trust issues with girls. I avoid relationships because of this. I can't open up to girls because I know that there is a high possibility they can hurt me a lot and I will need a lot of time to recover. That's why I'm being cold and staying out of it all together. Girls cheat and they cheat a lot. And even if I believe my gf will stay loyal there's still a possibility that she can cheat. And the worst thing is I'll never find out. I don't want to be a cuck, I'd rather kill myself. That's why I'm thinking of breaking up with her after she arrives because I can't be sure she didn't cheat. I'm fucking mess man, my head is an animal, I'd rather not have any relationship anymore than to get through shit like this.

>>42178748
I do this thing that I really want to stop, I'll describe it and maybe you guys can help me figure out a way to cut it out.

Basically if I've got intellectual downtime, like I'm walking somewhere or waiting for something, I find myself living out weird little fantasy situations. Walter Mittie style.

Like in my hallucinative daydream some armed bandits try to rob me and I beat the shit out of them or that cute girl across from me gestures that she wants to fuck in the restroom or I hotline Miami style beat up a bunch of armed thugs with a crowbar or something. Just stupid, juvenile, self serving BS.

I don't like it. I want to live in reality and be who I am, I don't want to have fantasy situations like that because I feel like it's pathetic and compensating for feeling powerless in real life. I'm not powerless in real life nor am I pathetic, things are going really well for me. I think I picked up the habit of daydreaming in middle school when I (like most kids I now realize) felt insecure and bullied.

Again- I have no reason to escape my life. I'm very happy with how things are for me. But how can I stop doing this stupid fantasizing thing?

>>42183509
Anyone taken medication for social anxiety?

I'm considering it, because it makes working a fucking nightmare. I've always had it terribly.

>>42188584
I tried quitting a million times and I'm currently having my cravings. Good luck.

>>42188623
Considered Kratom or Phenibut? They should be pretty good for what you want.

>>42188476
First thing
>"I'm working tomorrow morning:)"

Maybe I'm misinterpreting, but considering your frustration this just seems really passive agressive to say.

Second thing

If she's gone for a whole month and you've only been dating for 3? That's a whole new ballgame bucko. Personally I would've just told her to have a good time a break it off there, tell her hopefully we'd get back together when she comes back.

You'd have to have a lot of trust to think someone wasn't going to cheat on a one month trip to a faraway place, because the truth is, you are never gonna no the whole truth of how the trip went unless she tells you how it goes, and if you can't handle the idea of that then maybe you should just forget about her. In any case there is no point in worrying because you'll never know the truth, but I guess some warning signs that she hooking up with someone else would be her suddenly not wanting to skype anymore or losing eagerness to talk to you.

From the sounds of it the poor girl was crying a lot when she was leaving, probably worried sick that either you'd break it off there, cheat on her, or that this trip would just result in you losing trust/growing apart from eachother. Cut the girl a little slack, and play it by ear, that's literally all you can do now besides just breaking it outright. Their is no point in getting worked up in your own thoughts and insecurities as it will solve nothing at this point.

>>42179437
italian is a great language to learn. i recommend

>>42188680

Thanks bro, but no I wrote this message after I cooled off a little bit. I don't think it's passive aggressive desu. I wanted to wrote some actual passive aggressive shit but I controlled myself. I really can't talk to her in the morning because I work, I could take a little break if I wanted but the fact is that I'm working.

Yeah, I understand what you mean and you're probably right, but I'm fucking psycho, my head is a mess really.

Read this and you'll understand what I mean

>>42188589

Thanks for your help, appreciate it.

>>42188530
Of course you are right but I would be very happy if I could just get my shit together and finish my masters and get a job. You can always aim for higher goals of course and my end goals would seem unobtainable to most. Making it has several steps and meanings depending on the 'it'.

>>42178767
hobbies are kind of for NEET.
if you have that much time that you're asking that question, try and do something to make money. Really you just want to trick yourself into thinking you're an interesting person and thus gain confidence.

You don't need much more than
>seasonal sport
>outdoor activity
>rainy day activity
>reading

>>42184173
Realize it's a compulsion. Find something else to keep your hands busy.

>>42188476
you are just a jealous type. you are hung up on one fucking word. chill the fuck out because you said it yourself
>that we are responsible for our actions and we can only trust in another person and only then can we achieve the same goal (being together)

you don't trust her, plain and simple. You sound full of shit too. Maybe you should sort that out first.

>>42188406
I wasn't arguing against your point, just added my personal experience.

>>42184431
Be more honest with yourself and others. The more you hold in, the bigger you explode when you can't take anymore.

People take real honesty surprisingly well. If they don't, realize you probably don't need them.

What are truly patrician activities?

>business
>lifting
>reading
what else?

>>42186916
Bretty good advice senpai.

>>42188833

Man, I'm not jealous. I will try to explain. I don't trust people especially girls, after reading some stories on reddit/4chan/red pill about how they can lie and actually destroy people lives. I love this girl in a way I can love it, but I will never trust her. Those stories and red pill fucked me up. I can attract girls, but I can't trust them and get into relationship because I reject them so they can't hurt my feelings. It's awful.

How am I full of shit? I'm not lying, I'm telling you how it actually is in my head right now.

>that we are responsible for our actions and we can only trust in another person and only then can we achieve the same goal (being together)

Yes, I said that and I stand by it. I was in club this weekend with my friend and some girls were all over us but I rejected them because I will not cheat on my gf. I can't trust her though for the reasons I told above.

I really thank you that you took your time to answer my shit. I really appreciate it man, because I can't talk to people about it because they think I'm psycho (I am lol). But I feel much better talking to you.

>>42187841
If you're still around could you tell me a bit about it anon? I've always been interested but it seems like something that's pretty expensive to get into.

>>42188839
Oh I wasn't arguing against you either, I was just saying

>>42187173
Sounds like your priorities are straight. Just break the big stuff into small manageable chunks as best you can and work from there.

>>42188730
Yeah man, I don't mean to come off patronizing as I'm mostly on the same page with you. I don't really trust women at all and I'm definitely prone to paranoia and I'd be torn just as badly if my girl was going away to some far flung place for a whole month.

I was just saying stuff that hopefully get you cooled down and thinking semi-rationally because that's what I would need at that time.

Hope things work out for you anon. She sounds like a sweet girl, so I wouldn't think she'd be the type to want to hurt someone.

>>42181285
Spess muhrines a shitu, ave omnissiah.

This guy's right though, I only play when my friend hosts events he drags me along to purely because it'd be rude not to but painting is very nice.

It's something to do on a rainy day and a beginner can learn it so easily, the first year alone can be just learning new techniques before you even decide to start really mastering a certain style you like.

It's pretty great for rainy days too, I throw on a podcast/album and paint.

I'd reccomend it to anyone, go look up some cheap reaper minis or starter sets for painting minis and see if it's your thing.

>>42178812
Cycling is a /fit/ hobby fampai

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>>42188018
Here you go anon

>>42188909

Thanks for you help bro, I really like you, think we are kinda similar. I'd like to stay in contact with you, maybe we can help each other out with advice sometimes :) do you have discord or shit like that?

What do lads?
After I broke up with my ex I hardly know any women, maybe 7 girls and I'm only into one of them, the problem is she's not great looking. Not trying to sound like a shallow dickhead here but I hardly really know her so I can't be attracted to her for personality.

You guys think I'm going out with her because I'm desperate or craving companionship? I've been single since September and it took me ages to get over it.

I'm a fucking mess right now lads.

>>42188476
>>42188457
Why the fuck are you even with her, bitch? You don't seem to want to trust anyone because neets on the internet might think you aren't alpha.

The only one making you suffer here is you. You clearly lack the maturity to maintain a long distance relationship.

>>42188956
I wish I had your problems. They seem so small and insignificant coming from a person who is in deep shit.

Recently I've been listening to Seneca on the shortness of life,it's good to lift to. Plus it really puts into perspective how life is long enough but we waste most of it. I've cut down on smoking after realising that I'm letting time i haven't used yet slip away.

>>42188616
Focus on staying in the moment and out of your head. Mindfulness. It takes practice and effort.

>>42181989
Do not use recreational drugs to "fix" your socialization problems.

>>42189071

You're probably right. I'm still pretty young so maybe it will come with age, but right now I'm a mess. Maybe I shouldn't get in ltrs for now.

>>42189077
Thanks for the help anon. What's up with you then?

>>42188956

Don't get into relationship with her bro. I think you're just being desperate after you somehow got over your ex.

Improve yourself and put yourself out there (meet more people) and you'll meet the girl you're like. Just have balls to ask her out when it happens. Good luck.

>>42189175
Cheers lad, I guess you're right. Just gotta be patient and get on with it like you said I guess.

>>42189157
Life changing bad shit. I will keep it at that.

So many problems would be dealt with by just realizing how small they are. It's all a matter of mentality. Ever since I have hit real lows I can endure a lot of shit by knowing I have managed to go through much worse. Now silly and childish stuff like relationship problems lmao doesn't faze me.

>>42189131
I personally feel long distance relationships aren't really relationships - they're back-up plans. It's to fill a perceived void that people think will be there if they decide to go it alone.

>>42178767

essentially, all hobbies are normie hobbies, because of the very definition of a hobby, at least if you look at like this:

1. normies usually go through life in a very robotic way. they work their 9-5. they watch televison. they listen to radio music only. the go on vacation once a year. they come home from their work that they hate without any energy to do anything else.

2. a hobby to a normie is something they do a few times a week. maybe some casual pug football with friends. maybe some console gaming on a single player game. something they will never become great, or even good at at, because anything more and it will disrupt their ordinary life, described in point #1.

if you have some dedication, drive, will, motivation, whatever you want to call it, and you pick up a hobby, it becomes more than a hobby. it becomes who you are. it becomes something you sacrifice the point #1 activities for. a struggling artist wouldn't call his work his "hobby", because that would be an insult to himself. it would mean that the hobby is something secondary.

you shouldn't have hobbies, you should have passions.

hobbies are done for the mere pleasure. once you get bored of it, you stop. once it gets hard, you stop, beacuse it's no longer pleasurable.

passions have their ups and downs, but you stick with it due to the bigger picture. you don't do it because it's pleasurable, you do it because you love it, regardless if you're not feeling it that particular day, or week, or month. you don't stop when it's get hard, you keep on chugging.

this is why all hobbies are normie hobbies

i've never met a person in my life who's really good at something, and calls it a hobby.

>>42189224

I guess you're right, for now it's LDR, but she will come back next month and if everything is okay I want to be together with her, so it's just temporarily.

It's not like she went to a different college in a different country. I also don't like this shit and I can't see a future. But if she went for a trip and comes back and everything is okay (no stupid cheating shit) then I'd really like to continue with this girl. Thanks for your help.

>>42188956
>the problem is she's not great looking. Not trying to sound like a shallow dickhead here
There's nothing wrong with not being attracted to someone based on looks. Its important to find someone you're attracted to physically and mentally. Why get with a girl that you aren't even that interested in? That's not very fair to her, who might think she's found the perfect person for her. It just seems like It'd cause needless hurt feelings. Just wait man, for someone who you're at least 90% sure you want.

>>42189207
Good luck with that stuff anon. I'm sure you'll get through fine in the end. Guess you're right about the mindset stuff but I wouldn't call relationship problems silly or childish personally.

>>42188952
Thanks, that's what I was looking for

>>42189327
Yeah I didn't mean to make it sound like that. I used wrong words.

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Shut-in now uni student here. I have been taking 15mg adderal XR for a few years even though I never had serious ADHD issues, just wanted to stay up all the time and play vidya. The past few months I have finally noticed a lot of damage its done to me physically and mentally. Sweating, muscle weakness, lack of appetite, and now I am getting memory problems and feeling geeked out sometimes when I take it. Any advice on how to quit in a few weeks? I am moving to campus soon and it would be amazing if I could just be normal again.

>>42189339
All good mate, no hard feelings.

>>42189340
No ideas, if you're in the UK I'd say go talk to a doctor about it. I'm pretty sure the NHS covers adict withdrawal stuff.

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>>42188888
nice quints psychobra,

Just reading your posts, there are some inconsistencies. You freak the fuck out about her choice of words like spontaneous meaning partying and shit which seem outrageous to you but if you can party without fucking girls, why can't she?

Also, you seem obsessed with these stories on the internet, which may or may not even be true.

I meant that you are full of shit that you are lying to yourself in a lot of different ways e.g. you'd rather believe some guys on the internet than to trust yourself and your own decisions, like going out with this girl.

It seems that not having control over her makes you insecure, which is totally understandable, people always want to control things first and foremost. But this is how this shit works. Relationships only work based on trust. It's how you create a bond that is not just pink clouds.

Spouting cliches is my forte but it is really applicable to this situation. You are not a psycho by the way, just a little insecure and other people are not patient to listen to your side of the story.

And those stories prey on your insecurities. Just like investigation discovery. It confirms your suspicions about the world but at the same time it just makes you more paranoid, like your neighbor is a serial killer or a fraud who wants to cheat you out of your money.

Just try to be fair with her as well as yourself, and take things on here with a grain of salt, including my post.

>>42189375
>if you can party without fucking girls, why can't she?

Because have worse self control then guys when they're drunk. And even when not drunk they make bad decisions based one emotions. I'm always over thinking everything, but when I need to make a decision I (at least try to) put my emotions aside and go with logic.

>>42189375
>It seems that not having control over her makes you insecure, which is totally understandable, people always want to control things first and foremost. But this is how this shit works. Relationships only work based on trust. It's how you create a bond that is not just pink clouds.

That's true. Agree with this 100%, the same thing I said to her.

How do I learn to trust more and get rid of the feeling in my head that she may cheat on me and I'll never find out? That's my worst fear. I'd even rather break up the relationship with the girl I love rather than witness this shit.

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>>42189375
to add to this gentleman's statement, quit being a fucking pussy. You're worried about your feelings getting hurt so much that its almost guaranteeing you pain in near the future.

You just gotta take the good with the bad instead of always having your guard up and glancing over your shoulder for 'red flags'

If you think you wont be able to handle a devastating revelation at the time it comes without ample forshadowing, you probably need to sort yourself out and aquire a sense of stability, rather than wasting your effort on 'what-ifs'

>>42189575

Fuck man, that's just the way I am. You described me perfectly "having my guard always up" and glancing for "red flags".

I don't belive in horoscope but I'm libra and it's their characteristic to be doubtful all the time.

How do I change this aspect about me? How do I aquire the sense of stability and let my guard down? It's really fucking me up all the time, especially in relationships.

Anyone here have arguments with their girlfriend and have a period of silence before taking again?
It's stressing me out. I just want to make things better again.

>>42189620
you're asking me, but you're not going to like the answer.

>be single for a while.

when you are single you are building the foundation for your once in a lifetime relationship (marriage material) to last.

If you are going to be with the same girl for several decades, you want it to last.
You need to develop emotional stability more than anything.

If you'd rather waste your own time pandering to girls that hardly put out, play mind games and ultimately present themselves as someone who isn't marriage material, then do that.

but realize all you're doing is sabotaging your future relationships that are actually worth something by loading yourself up with unneeded emotional baggage, whether you realize it or not.

anyway, that's just my advice.

being single is hard but also incredibly reward, and at the risk of sounding cliche I do recommend doing some soul searching overseas and focusing on making quality high calibre friendships during your time alone.

>>42189717

Thanks man

I actually have been single for a while. She is actually my first real gf, I have been only hooking up with girls before her. I have no problem being single really, I even like it a little bit as I have more time to focus on improving myself which is my greatest passion in life. She is my first girlfriend, because I actually saw some potential in LTR with her when I met her. Guys on here say all women are the same, but she honestly is different from other girls that I met. That's why it would hurt me even more because I kinda got attached to her (never happened with any girl before, I actually thought I'm some emotioneless robot for a while).

I guess I just need to trust her.

>>42181735
>>42181791
How to Win Friends is NOT a meme.

>About shaking hands and being nice to your co-workers and stuff. Does it go into psychology, eye contact, body language, how social dynamics work, that sort of thing?

You don't need to understand psychology and social dynamics if you want to know the basics of having a conversation.

The book tells you a lot of useful things. The temptation is to read it, think it's obvious and then not actually do it irl.

>>42189765
>I guess I just need to trust her.

bingo, good luck

peace

I used to lift since when I was about 12, and I started making good progress, but I injured my triceps tendon when I was 16. I injured it because I had bad form, didn't warm up, didn't stretch, overtrained, and I have hyper-mobile elbows, plus I kept lifting for a month after I first started feeling pain, because I hoped it would go away by itself, and because I didn't want to fuck up my progress by taking a few weeks off (so basically because I was fucking retarded). I couldn't lift for the last four years because of it. Been to the doc, tried all sorts of different treatments, nothing really worked.
I've found a youtube video which recommended eccentric exercises to treat it about two and a half weeks ago, and as of today, the pain is entirely gone, even under load. I'm not a retard now, so I will continue and finish the six week treatment program before I start doing any kind of workout (I'll probably start with calisthenics, because it's less stressing), but holy shit, does it make me feel good to know that I can actually go back to lifting one day. I fucking loved being strong, having muscles, and having DOMS after a good workout. Having had my elbow fucked is probably one of the main reasons for my life being as shitty as it is today, but I guess I'm lucky I only fucked up my elbow and didn't eventually injure myself in a more serious way due to my autism.
The fact that I can actually have a good body one day makes me really motivated to achieve in other areas, so I will be great both in body and in mind. Godspeed anons, we are all going to make it.

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>>42188860

>listening to podcasts
>reading current events (and being objective)
>taking online courses
>networking events
>becoming a master of trivia lol
>learning an instrument
>making visual art
>meditating
>volunteering

anything productive. I hardly see why anyone in this thread would consider things like gaming or smoking to be good hobbies.

>>42189236
this

>>42188891
I can't tell you anything because it's expensive to get into! I just go to the local glass studio sometimes and admire the beadmakers while they work on their torches. They have classes, but they run $100 - $500 a session depending on the type of glasswork you want to do.

>>42182462
>>42183374
Not the first guy but my problem is I have never had a physical reaction to music.
I love music but the most physical reaction I've had is maybe spine tingling, other than that I've never thought to move to a rhythm or anything.
Just makes dancing seem inauthentic if I try and I have no idea how to do it.

Don't have bad rhythm and by "I like music" I mean I have over half a terabyte of music right now and try to listen to at least 3 new albums a week. I enjoy it very much but don't understand dancing, and I personally enjoy dance music quite a bit.

>>42182462
I'm pretty competent at social dancing.
Do not do this >>42183374
It is silly to learn a specific dance style or move. You'll look pretty silly. Imagine if you went to a club and a guy was just doing the robot the whole time, because that was the dance move that he learned to do. He would look like a tryhard.

I know this is pretty simple advice, but you really need to try to not think about it too much.
Practice at home, and just work and bouncing your body around to the music. Nothing flashy at all, just "groove", bob your head, bounce your shoulders, and bounce on your knees.

Get comfortable with moving rhythmically to the music. You could stop there. Social dancing with girls is a little more complex but still not difficult at all. Just bounce and groove, facing the girl, pretty close to her, while she does the same. Look at her eyes, occasionally look down at her body seductively, but do not stare. If she wants you to grind on her, she will turn her body. Don't hump, just bounce and groove with your crotch around the curves of her body.

If you still can't get it down, just watch videos like this https://youtu.be/p78wcqOzosU to get the idea. Nobody is really doing "dance moves" in that video, but everyone is totally comfortable and grooving to the music.

>>42189665
I used to argue with my GF all the time, but we didn't break up because I was afraid of being alone. When we eventually did (after she slapped me) I stopped drinking and found someone new that I have a great relationship with and never argue with. It also taught me to think about my words carefully and to be diplomatic. If you're arguing frequently, she's probably not the right person for you, or you're not the right person for her. You can change how you act but it shouldn't be for her sake specifically, but to be a better boyfriend and a better person in general.

>>42184173
My suggestion is make masturbating not a compulsion like the other anon said, make it special.
Personally I don't masturbate unless I have 45+ free minutes to edge and I make sure to only use a onahole (fleshlight).
From the amount of time used to the extra cleanup of using a toy I masturbate less.
More effort not only makes it more enjoyable but makes you less likely to do it as it's an entire routine itself.

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>>42190994
>cleaning your fleshlight
This is exactly why I will never buy one

>>42189528
First realize that a girl cheating on a man doesn't inherently say ANYTHING about the man.
Especially in a short relationship and especially when young.
Yes, being cheated on hurts but fuck off if you aren't in a several year relationship.
Her cheating doesn't make you a beta or anything really, so don't let is mess with your ego (which seems like a problem for you and I mean it in a constructive way).

Your first post was you wording things so you didn't seem to care too much about her to seem 'alpha'.
This is what egotistical 16 year olds do, I know you're probably <20 or so (don't care if you are older or not) but stop with this bullshit, you're ego is shit.

Put yourself out there with the confidence that you can ALWAYS put yourself back together stronger, leaner, and more knowledgeable.
Trust her because she hasn't given you a reason not to trust her.

>>42187811
They're high test, anon. I'm guessing you're low test and can't control them. High test demands high test.

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College orientation and I found the sweetest girl I've ever seen. She only has one friend on campus, while I don't really have any friends at all. We've began to talk, we're both awkward and I asked for her number.

She's so cute and I don't want to let her go. I'm already talking to her, but how do I make the move. I never done this before

>>42190994
>>42191108

seems to me that fleshlight is the best solution to mastrubation & porn addiction, especially if you hump it between two pillows or something to simulat real sex

you stop death gripping
you stop looking at porn, because it will be much easier getting off without it (much easier than jerking off without porn)
it's a hassle to setup and clean, so you'll probably do it less

i have these issues and bought one the other day ,we'll see how it works.

How do I focus on the important things instead of sitting at my computer all day

>>42180880
My wife has made a lot of friends recently when she picked up photography. Made a little cash too, done some nude shoots with a few women at our place. Pretty lit.

>>42191772
Ask her out to take a drink anon, alcohol work in your favor.

>>42187034
>>42187556

the theoretical approach is probably better for deeper and more efficient learning, but like you said, it's so boring that you need serious discipline to stick with it

if you don't have this, but still enjoy drawing, just draw man. draw whatever. draw shitty stick figures. draw abstract shit from your imagination. draw shit that makes no sense. draw realistic shit. draw cartoons. draw dicks.

i firmly belief that theory, especially fundamental theory (mistakenly aimed at beginners) in any field is best learned after a few weeks to months of fucking around, or doing whatever you feel like, unless this practice has very detrimental effects on your long term learning

the theory then sticks better because you have something to attach it to.you know how it relates to the bigger picture because you have actually practiced real material. this is why experts always tend to go back the basics and fundamentals, even when they're supposed to have mastered it already.

don't get me wrong, you need SOME theory to get you started (in the case of the guitar, maybe how to hold it, how to strum, what the strings are called and some basic chords) but after that you should learn by DOING for a very long while, and THEN go back to the basics, when you're no longer a complete beginner.

Finally got around to fixing my mouth/teeth/face. I've gotten by on my personality and intelligence for a long time, but realised that I avoid cameras and pictures like the plague. I have a crooked front top row of teeth and my jaw is underdeveloped and recessed. This led me to never smiling, only grinning, and often trying to hide my smile.

Got dumped by my gf of 5 years last month - she moved away for a job and to be in the mountains, then monkey branched to another guy while I work 12 day rotations on an industrial plant. I barely have time to date or party this summer. I'm making great money and gym gains but damn is it tough to watch the summer tick on by while she's going to festivals and partying it up in the mountains.

It's going to be tough being 26 with braces for 1.5 years, but it should enhance my physical appearance drastically. At the very least, when I did finally go for a consultation the surgeon took one look at my X-rays and laughingly said it would be piss easy to fix my particular jaw issues with braces and minor jaw surgery. That made me feel great for a few hours, but it faded. I feel so damned isolated from my friends and have no time to date. All I have is self improvement in my spare time.

>>42193466
Get invisalign, they work like regular braces now.

>>42193522

Can't. I don't qualify for invisalign due to the crowding of my teeth. Also, I need the bands in the braces to pull my jaw forward.

>>42193540
There is also a type of braces that go behind your teeth, but they are pretty expensive

>>42182696
>around girls. When hugging them my movements are really rigid and awkward and I don't feel comfortable in my own skin

Sorry to break it to you but you probably have a case of the gay

>>42188623
i have social anxiety too and as much as i would love to just take some pill and be able to socialize with anyone anywhere without getting nervous and anxious that's not the right way to do it. it will only
hide it.

you need to get over this on your own without any medication

you'll be much better off in the long run

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Found myself in a unique position over the last month, figured I'd relay and ask for input here. Spent a month across the country living with a friend and 8 other guys in a shit hole multiplex in a college town. The good news was that after the first week, I'd gotten to know most everyone and spent most nights out with friends/friends of friends. I took the opportunity to run an experiment of sorts: determining what sill-sets give you the most "bang for your buck" in terms of the clout you earn with them. It was pretty easy, I'd hang around a party and introduce myself with with a single skill-set "oh, hey, I'm anon. I do X". Did this for men and women, college aged, in mostly informal settings, using skill-sets I could speak with at least some confidence on (didn't pretend to do anything, but these aren't all things I do regularly enough to consider hobbies) and kept a mental tally of how people reacted. I'm an "average" looking manlet(5'7"), so at a slight social disadvantage going in. In the end, I probably used each individual skill-set to introduce myself to 6-8 people, not controlling for gender. not the most airtight study, but it did give some clear(ish) results.
>Chemistry degree/research
nobody gave a shit aside from STEM majors, some people seemed defensive if they weren't as academic
>lifting weights
conversation starter for desperate chicks and gym rats
>EMT
universal respect, especially good when followed by stories
>cooking (amateur)
nobody gave a shit
>reading philosophy
one philosophy major guy wanted to talk about Kant
>black belt
respect from most chicks, challenges from guys
>gymnastics
these were the majority of my party tricks- splits, backflip, handstand. universal positive feedback after a couple demonstrations (thanks jujimufu)
>hunting
I was in a liberal area, not surprising that nobody cared
>photography
nobody gave a shit
>dungeons and dragons
woman repellant, guys laugh

so /SIG/, what skills get YOU the most bang for your buck?

>>42193599
>inb4 denial
Nah I'm certainly attracted to them. I'm just a recovering shut-in and a bit of a sperg. Not much experience with physical contact.

>>42193875
>tfw no one cares about your research
I tell people I play keytar and it usually gets a laugh or I'm questioned what it is (I play keyboards, not really keytar).
People get defensive if I bring up chemistry or music, people like musicians but when you say how much you are into music it makes them defensive over their tastes.
I'm also studying geology and it seems to be more accepted since I can talk about climbing mountains and shit, bitches like to pretend they like hiking.

Musician is a god tier hobby to get people interested though but it's pretty vain desu.
Hunting in liberal areas can be done right depending on how you present it.
People will ask where I'm from and will act amazed I live where I live (Appalachia).
They'll ask
>have you hunted?
>how close was the nearest city?
And shit like that. I always like to add I grew up without internet and was too poor to eat anything but bologna or ramen to see their reactions, they act like you're some hardass foreigner who's plight makes them more interesting.

>>42193875

>respect from most chicks, challenges from guys

Ding ding ding

>>42193949
it was interesting- an "athletic" appearance is a kind of universal social +1, however, if you ONLY talk about the gym in terms of fitness you lose clout with most athletes who "one up" you with the sports they play. When I talked about martial arts instead of the gym I retained the status from my appearance and gained additional "sports" respect

>>42193943
how do people react if you're preforming as opposed to just talking music? Also, I noticed that "outdoorsy" people seemed to get good feedback, although I'm not outdoorsy myself so I didn't try it. what would you recommend as a way to start?

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>>42193875
>>dungeons and dragons
>woman repellant, guys laugh
ahhaha oh fuck I did laugh

>>42194005
Like performing publicly on keyboard?
I find art really personal and only 2 people have heard me play in the 15+ years of me playing.
I obviously don't bring this up with people as it is borderline autistic.

If it's a college town many people there aren't natives.
Just talk about the town and how you like it, "yeah it's definitely different from where I grew up, can't really hike or hunt here lol" or some shit.
Just don't force anything, I usually bring it up when people ask where I'm from since they seem more culture shocked (I go to a lot of 'metropolitan' areas).

>>42194014
yeah, that was probably the hardest one to lead with- not something I'd do by choice. I enjoy the shit out of it with a small group of friends, but dear god it puts you below the "videogames are my hobby" guys, right alongside the anime connoisseurs and MTG players

>>42182696
>Is there a resource on how to touch/hug properly?
Kek.

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>>42178748
Hey guys, just came here to say hi.

Recently I finally broke free from my 15 years long videogames addiction.

I've used to be pretty /fit/ 3-4 years ago, but still it was a fucking cocoon mode with gym/vidya/parties.

Recently I am single again and got back to my home town, bought my own place and hit the gym hard ofter 3 years break.

Even with full time job, gym and daily cooking (which I like) I still feel like I have too much time on my hands after dumping the videogames addiction, which was taking like 4-6 hours/day for me.

Any ideas for creative time fillers I should try out?

>>42194435
depends what you're into mate, what are your interest?

>>42194435
Get a new hobby.
Drums, Guitar, Surfing whatever takes a ton of time to master

>>42180747

I think so, might have to redo them once or twice to get it right though.

>>42194492
>>42194497
Used to read a lot, love music. maybe I should pick up playing guitar again, since I tried it at the beginning of college but I was lazy and already heavily addiced to that shitty videogame addiction.

Now that I think of it, I think ill try historical fencing/swordplay since I've always wanted to try this as a kid and many of my mates are already in the medieval/viking reconstruction groups.

>>42194607
If you got friends doing it then go right ahead. More motivation, competition and trash talking - sounds fun as fuck, kinda jealous really

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>>42194619
yea, it is pretty fun. Especially we all were fucking nerds at some point who just loved paper RPG's

The other project we are currently engaged in is this: (see the pictures)
http://witcherschool.com/en/gallery/

desu I am really glad about the evolution of the hobby we and my friends used to make.

From dice rolling in basement to a mix of leathercrafting, basic swordplay, acting, survivial and LARP'ing on a fucking castle.

Everyting is possible if you strive long enough.

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>>42194435
>>42194607
to the ones who couldn't kick the habit yet
>how to drop vidya?

I grew up in it, it permeates my free time always. I need some tactical advice on this one.

>>42188018

Look up Actualized.org on Youtube, amazing stuff and he has a ton of videos on how to meditate.

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>>42194711
I would love to help you man. But i have no fukcing idea why it happened nad why I came clean with vidya.. It just burned out one day. Just like that.

Before that, I tried to leave this shit for several years. I started measuring time, tried to fill it with other activities, with little to no succes. There was a point where I was taking holidays just to sit on my ass and play. I was actually very upset and nervous when the internet provieder was doing some minor maintenence work.

I skipped family events, meeting with firends, meeting with grills just to get another hour or so of shitty vidya

I think that I got lucky because 2-3 months ago my life changed drasticly. I moved out to the other side of the country, got in touch with long lost friends, bought and set up my own place, changed work, dropped my grill.

I think that the very shock of doing so many new things at once helped me out. Now I can play an hour at max, and even than, It bores me so I am not playing that anymore.

Vidya addiction is a serious problem and can ruin lives as much as any other vice.

Its just much more shitty since at least when I was doing cocaine form time to time parties and sex was fucking amaizing.

From vidya all you get is giant gut and you slowly turn into disgusting neckbeard. bash that monkey off your back..

Good luck.

>>42194827
damn it. Well, I can't wait for miracles so I guess I'm gonna try to cut back on it somehow.

Thanks for the answer though.

>>42194711
Don't pussyfoot around it. Uninstall your games, uninstall steam, and change your routine to 1) use the newly freed time well 2) avoid environments/situations where you used to be tempted to play

If you always played vidya at your desk from 4-9 on saturdays you should get the fuck out of the house from 4-9 on saturdays, because if you sit at your desk you're sending your brain all the priming signals to "prepare for vidya".

I kicked my fullblown addiction by being direct. I have a friend who promised to quit with me, but instead of being a man and getting rid of it he installed a bunch of programs that only allow him to play 4 hours per week and promised himself he would read ebooks instead and joined a Reddit "how to quit vidya" support group etc. 6 months later he's worse than ever

Looking at getting a job for more financial independence, is it acceptable to use family friends as referees until you have actual experience?

>>42190103
As long as you're social, have a job, other hobbies, good relationships, etc, I don't see any reason why someone shouldn't play vidya if it's something they enjoy.

Me and my gf just started building our own cornhole sets to sell. When we're not working on those,I recently got into War Thunder, shit's maximum fun, I wish I knew about it sooner

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>making all kinds of self improvement gains this year
>meet a girl
>just fucks my whole shit up and i cant stop thinking about her and wishing i had the feel of gf

not even a KV this shit shouldn't be happening to me god damn it

How do I stop considering suicide everyday?

>>42178812
>drinking
>a hobby

I'm worried about you anon.

>>42196025
Keep yourself occupied. I know it's had doing shit when you are depressed but it's the only thing that's worked for me.

>>42189236
Thanks for this post, it was very insightful.
I never considered the difference between a hobby and a passion like that, but now it's really clear to me.

I need to make more time for my passions. Working a full-time normie office job makes it tough sometimes.

>>42181285
>>42188928
> Deathwing/Ravening Strike Forcefag reporting in.
Many of them are 30-50 with decent job because it takes an 80k/year job to afford this shit.

I also own/fuck around with several instruments. A couple guitars, a violin, a cello, and a clarinet. Looking into buying a piano in the coming months. Learn a couple of classical songs and you will crush pussy.
> OMG you know Fur Elise? I love Mozart.
> WomenAreIdiots.jpg

Also, take up cooking. It'll help with you cuts and bulks, and if you know a couple of simple meals, not only will you impress ladies, you'll save a ton of money on taking them out.

>>42196074
I'm trying dude but every time I start doing something I go like "meh what's the point" and stop

>>42196286
try cooking
It's perfect for lifting an you have a delicious meal to look forward too
Also if you have fiends, spend time with them. Not being alone helps immensely

>>42196421
What if you don't have any friends?

>>42196126
>Many of them are 30-50 with decent job because it takes an 80k/year job to afford this shit.
kek, true

>>42196868
Make some.

>>42193994
I'm thinking of taking up a martial art, but I don't know what kind. Maybe judo or BJJ. I'm /thin/ right now because I don't yet have a reason to work out (dedicating myself to a martial art should provide me with such a reason).

I figure that instead of sorting through conflicting advice online, I can decide exactly where I need to train based on my performance practicing/sparring in some martial art.
How does that sound? And what do you have a black belt in?

>>42181910
See the scientists and the janitor in your picture? Guess which one you are going to be.

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>>42181740
>how do you ask girls out
Based on this question alone, can I suggest that your attention inward for a few years? If you spend time making yourself a man, believe me, there will come a day that you won't need to ask that question.

The Book of Pook is as good of a place to start as any.

>>42195786
tell me about it
From time to time I have to say to myself 'stop thinking about her' it's like trying to tame wild animal
bittersweet but worst kind of feels
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqbXmiaBj08

>been on a hiatus of self improvement for a month

Anyone here experienced this before? I don't mean that I completely gave up, I'm still doing going to gym and studying a few other things etc. but I'm not focused at all, and I'm definitely not being stoic or mindful at all. It feels like I'm just cruising through nowadays. I tried to snap out of it a few times but still couldn't find the willpower to continue.
I think I know the solution, I need to man up and embrace the immense discomfort that will come (because of thoughts of wasting a month, getting back to old habits, and I'm really comfortable this way just wasting time playing games and doing whatever without much planning) but just can't get myself to do it.
Anyone experienced this before? Just wanted to share and hear your opinions.

How does /SIG/ feel about video games and tech nerd shit? I spent a bunch of my monies on building my dream gaming desktop and other /g/ nerd shit. Sometimes I like playing games and spending a shit ton of time on the internet, but recently I've started thinking it's ruining my life. I'm becoming a fucking hermit. Some say I could balance both life and nerd shit, but I feel like gaming/internet stuff is part of a very strong "lifestyle" which has sucked me in and is trying to trap me. I currently have my nerd shit for sale on eBay.....but I go back and forth between listing it and taking it down because I'm conflicted. The plan was to sell the shit, then get a MacBook and an iPhone and have the bare minimum of tech stuff so I'd spend more time being social and working out or having other more healthy hobbies.


Opinions please. I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind.

>>42199134
You haven't stopped, it's just become part of your nature now, so it's feels as though you're no longer practicing.

>>42199233
I wish that was the case

>>42199206

Well, it's obviously your more irrational and primitive side that keeps taking the listing down.

You have made a rational decision to remove things from your life that keeps you from becoming the person you want to be, but the emotions are holding your back.

Your stripping away from comfort, and that brain doesn't like that one bit, but as with everything else, you get used to it after a while.

>>42182696
Ever since I had a grill complement my back the summer going into college during a hug I just started enjoying hugs and now I get complimented on my hugs pretty frequently. Just imagine time slowing down for a second and err on the side of too affectionate rather than too distant.

>>42199551
Yeah that side of my brain definitely doesn't want to change anything. But here's the thing, one time I wanted to change myself and reinvent myself(which I did) but then I went running back to my old self because it was more comfortable and it felt like that change was a terrible mistake. It seems like that side of my brain keeps me from making "mistakes" but how the fuck can I tell if something is a mistake or an improvement?

>>42192012
>My wife has made a lot of friends recently
>done some nude shoots
Anon...

>>42200355
I don't think the wife was the model

>>42192012
It is important for us to know if you have access to her files.

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>Morning meditation with classical music
>Daily AM non-meme bodyweight and mobility routine and HIIT cycling
>ULxULxx Weight Training routine
>Weekend distance runs / rucks
>Daily full body face, skin, hair, etc... grooming routine
>Rigorous daily scheduling broken down into 30 minute blocks
>Learning about actual human nutrition
>Reading
>Drawing
>Monthly shooting / camping trips
>Save 10% from every paycheck to travel. Made plans with childhood friend and FWB to go to Japan in 2 months to go to Japan and climb Mt. Fuji

Depression has almost completely subsided and have I gotten off of lexapro and vyvanse after being on them for a half decade through college and grad school...

>>42181740
just be konfidunt bro

>>42200491
sounds great and every but why the classical music during meditation? Isn't meditation about concentration? Do you try to focus on the music?

>>42200589
Helps me drown out as much as possible. If I can't focus on nothing, then focusing on one thing is better than focusing on everything...

>>42200589
Meditation is the practice of letting go of concentration. Having thoughts that you can observe and instantly let go.

>>42183509
CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) coupled with exposure therapy works really well against social anxiety disorder. Its better than medications in the long term but requires some level of dedication and persistence.
You can take a Liebowitz social anxiety scale test to know where are you stand now.
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/disorder/liebowitz/
If you score around 40 which is mild read some books on CBT like "Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness" by Butler. The most helpful thing is about ANTs and how to stop them. If you score around 80 which is moderate I'd recommend adding to that "Overcoming Social Anxiety" course by Richards. If you score even more than that I'd say the best way would be finding a good psychologist and probably do CBT and medications.

>>42200635
yeah yeah letting go of thoughts dont get all emotional about them etc
But is also about awareness no?
That kind of meditation is practiced by concentrating on your breath, heartbeat and so on

>>42200672
Are you me?
What do you think about professional help?
exposure therapy?

>>42200635
>>42200711
meditation isn't one thing, anons

some forms of meditation are explicitly about concentration, others explicitly about moment-to-moment awareness. some involve being detached from thought, others involve creating more vivid thought.

there are different traditions with both overlapping and disjoint goals

>>42200765
redpill me on meditation anon. What kind do you practice and why? What would you suggest for a beginner?

>>42200314

You will rationalize anything to keep staying comfortable.

If you make the decision to change your life in a completely rational, clear of mind (you should know when you're in this state), everything that happens after will be irrationality trying to cling on to the comfort and trick you into the change being a mistake, or bad for you, or whatever.

The "no pain, no gain" quote is actually more applicable to behavior changes than just working out.

>>42200927

I think focused-based meditation is the most research and acceptable.

Things like tantra-meditation can cause things like depersonalization and other issues, and you become dependant on it, just like a drug. if you go a day without it you start feeling shit.

but correct me if i'm wrong here, i'm not an expert, or anywhere close.

>>42199206
I have friends who've dropped 8 grand on gaming/vr shit and have literal thousands of hours logged on games. At a certain point it's an addiction, and you know you're there when you want to stop but can't

>>42181216
>learning how to operate a HAM radio
>Not confirming your one-way path to wizardry

My love for amateur radio is a dark dark secret I hide from everyone.

>>42200927
hi, i'm this guy >>42200765

some form of concentration meditation and some form of awareness-based meditation is what i do. building up a base of concentration is suitable for a beginner.

the breath is the best concentration object. count your breathing up to 10 then back down to 1. each inbreath-outbreath cycle is one. if you lose track of the count start over at 1. your focus should be on the physical sensation of breathing. the counting is biofeedback to keep you on track.

set a timer for the sit. 15 minutes a day is a good beginner start. 30 minutes a day is a good goal.

>>42188623
I have used Lorazepam and honestly its just a crutch and the side effects aren't worth it. Exposure to anxiety provoking situations and mindfulness meditation are what I have found to really work.

>>42200967
>>42201122
k thanks
What do you guys think about group and walking meditation?
Do you have any studies you can link me to?

Ok i think i found a foolproof way to get over ANY girl. This applies mostly to when you get friendzoned(you can get friendzoned even if you bang the girl, mind you), but it can work for long term relationship breakups as well.

Step 1: Let it all out
You are sad. You were having sex with this girl you considered perfect, you had this amazing thing, but 'she doesn't want a relationship right now' and 'she needs some time alone' to 'find herself' and you met her 'at a bad point in her life'. You beat yourself over the head. It was the perfect girl and you were having sex with her, you even slept with her, why didn't it work out? Was it something you did? Oh god now she is gonna go out and meet some fuckwad who will fuck her and she will scream like you made her scream. And then he is gonna dump her and she'll get attached to him. To HIM! She was your godess and some random fag who doesn't even appreciate all her merits is gonna make him his bitch. Why is life so unfair?

These thoughts sound familiar to you? Here is what's happening. You are in pain. But, you are also a man. Think a bit, imagine you were cavemen. A stray wolf bites a child. The child cries and cries and calls for help. The same wolf bites a grown man. Isn't he in the same pain as the child was? But what's the difference? He transforms that pain into anger and bashes that faggot wolf's skull in. That's what you need to do right now. You stopped being a man. Look at you, you are moping like a little bitch. Here's what you do. Go to the weight room. Do a hardcore routine full with heavy squats and deads. Before each set think of the girl you love fucking someone else, even getting gangbanged by niggers? Feeling sad? Transform that into pure anger and bust some new PR's. Keep going till you are completely exhausted. Congrats, now you are full of endorphines and thinking straight again, plus you probably made some gains bro!

>>42200728
I think professional help would be the best approach but only if you can find a good practitioner who specializes on SAD or CBT and who doesn't put you on drugs immediately. I don't have one of those in my area so can't say much.
Exposure therapy is good. It's working. But it's still should be preceded with CBT because exposure can really damage your progress if you don't know how to deal with negative thoughts and failures.

What does /SIG/ think about caffeine? Good way to boost productivity or not? Any bad experiences with caffeine?

>>42201187
Step two: Delete everything

The next thing you need to do is delete fucking everything that may remind you of her. Block her facebook. Delete her viber. Any pictures you had? Delete. Her phone? Bye.

Too extreme? Think about it. You want to be with this woman. You love her. She doesn't love you. What's more to discuss? What else does she have to offer? And you know what? You didn't love her. You loved the idea of her. The girl of your dreams looked exactly like her,had the same name as her and fucked like her, but she isn't her. Because that girl from your dreams will love you back. But if you sit around moping and watching your ex live her life and suck dicks that aren't yours, you are definetely NOT in the position to be to meet the girl of your dreams. In fact you are a little negative piece of shit nobody wants to be around with, and who can blame them? So forget that woman ever existed or even exists. Everything you did with her was a dream. All that exists in another nameless woman you couldn't care less about.

She may even get hornier if she sees you ignoring her like this. That's the worst case scenario. Don't act like she isn't even there, that's beta. Acknowledge her existence but talk to her like you talk to your fat coworker. Don't invite her to anything. If she asks why you blocked her give her a reply like ' i was a bit angry at things back then'. If she asks if you will unblock her tell her 'yeah maybe later i'm really busy these days' . Keep responses sort and indifferent. Show her that you aren't interested in doing anything with her. Ideal scenario would be you seeing someone else after she asks the above, 99% of the cases when that happens she will BEG you to fuck her, do not fall into that trap. You are god's gift to mankind and she shoved away, she doesn't even deserve you pissing in her mouth.

>>42201165
i'll continue to type without capitalization to identify myself.

walking meditation is good. you ideally need a backyard. for a period i was doing it in my cramped apartment, pacing back and forth (not recommended). for the serious about meditation, you should practice reclining, seated, standing, and walking (in my opinion, [also backed up by tradition]).

meditating in a group can help with motivation. unfortunately most groups ive found are too new agey, boomery, etc. just do it alone, imo, unless youre lucky to find people youre compatible with. a group is definitely not needed.

yes, i'll link some studies. i should point out that if you follow my meditation directions above (or almost any directions) for a week or two you won't need any more evidence for motivation. early motivation is good though.

note that these studies use a variety of meditation methods. meditation is as varied as exercise in goals.

Combining meditation and exercise:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4535923/
https://www.nature.com/tp/journal/v6/n2/full/tp2015225a.html?foxtrotcallback=true

On varying results in different types of meditation:
http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0102990

On potential negative experiences:
http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0176239


Reduction in mind-wandering, mind-chatter
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25904238

need anything else, more studies?

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Despite constant self-improvement, my life just gets worse for each year with less of a social life and less success with women.

When I was 18-19 I was a NEET, didn't work out, slept half the day, just spent my sparetime at the computer or partying yet I got laid a lot, had girls checking me out all the time and had a healthy social life. Now I'm 23 and despite improving myself for 2 years now, I have less friends, haven't gotten laid since 2014, haven't had a girl checking me out since forever, feel more like shit etc.

I blame this on losing my looks (shedding hair, bad aging) and my life would probably be even more shit if I wasn't atleast moving forward but it's still frustrating. Anyone who can relate?

>>42201285
Step 3: FORGET BITCHES ACQUIRE SELF IMPROVEMENT

The most important step. Most people give the wrong advice of jumping up into the dating scene immediately, or prowling the bars looking for a fuck etc. That's retarded advice. Why? Because that's not what MEN do. Men create, innovate, discover the world. They don't care about impressing some random whore. They are completely focused on their goals and improving their situation.

So what you should do? Self improve. And it's not just your body. Find something you can't do, want to do and do it. For example im 30 years old and couldn't ride a bike. I bought one, spend 6 hours in a field and then i could ride it. I felt better than when i first had sex. That's the basic gist of it. Pick something that's difficult for you, will improve your situation(so not vidya shit) and DO IT. You may fail. But if you persist you will do it. Unlike women. Even if you keep hitting on 100s of sluts in bars daily, you will still not get laid. That's because you don't have goals and a drive. That's what women look for, someone who has a drive for something, no matter how retarded that may be. They look for that because women don't enjoy anything at all and simply seek to latch on to someone that in their mind has authority or willpower to achive.

Hope my advice helped you.

>>42181910
Not bashing drugs at all but they are hardly a hobby. They can be great to enhance hobbies though.

>Greek demigod body
>Ruined by a perfectly ugly face
Why tho

>>42201338
You are getting older and you are more picky about the people you want in your life. That's normal. You are starting to have responsibilities and duties. It's part of being an adult. If you have the same interests you did at 20 years old when you are 30 you are manchild.

>>42186940
i imagine that they never go away. Its not a coincidence that i've found myself here. This thread isn't for me at this part of my life. I am just joining the club. No one makes it out.

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>>42201476
>If you have the same interests you did at 20 years old when you are 30 you are manchild


I've been coming to 4chan since I was 13. I'm 23 now, so would I be considered a man child if I still come here everyday?

If you don't count lifting, coming to 4chan the most "fun" I'll have for the week.

>>42201545
4chan is a vice, not an interest. It's ok, i still have it too at 30 years old. It's seriously not as bad as people here think it is. Most people nowadays spend their time on fagbook all day to get self validated, but this site has a board for literally every interest you can have and the brutal honesty people miss in their lives nowadays.

I've learned so much stuff from this site that if i could do it over again, i'd shitpost on 4chan twice like i did.

But nevertheless why limit yourself to just lifting? Fitness has so many aspects. Do kickboxing.Run.Swim.Bike.Surf. You have a healthy body that can do so much shit and you just lift heavy things. You will learn to appreciate it when you see a loved one die from cancer and the most athletic person you know slowly shivels to something barely resembling a human, that can't even shit without assistance and see in their eyes that their only desire is to be able to just stand up again.

>>42194845
>>42194827
I don't think it was a miracle but rather a change of setting. Setting has a lot to do with compulsions and you probably didn't have the same urges to continue your habit of playing games when your setting so drastically changed.

Why don't you try just reorganizing your room to change your setting as a little test?

>>42201303
>you should practice reclining, seated, standing, and walking
How do the effects differ?
>most groups ive found are too new agey, boomery, etc.
Can confirm. I just started visiting a zen meditation group and that one girl started talking about experiences she made in a former life
>i'll link some studies
Thanks. Hope I will find to read through them. It is always the same. I gather information, pdfs, urls etc with autistic determination about something i'm interested in and never find time to read through all that shit
>need anything else, more studies?
Do you know good studies that are concerned with the effects of meditation on social behavior?

>>42184431
Address problems when they are small. When they grow to be medium sized, discuss it with a friend. Be frank and say that you've hit a snag and you just need someone to talk over the issue with. Most people worth knowing are willing to have those talks.
As for how to be more willing to improve yourself, that's not something we can help you with anon. If you are ever going to truly improve, you have to want it for yourself. You need to find that reason to keep pushing forward, and focus on it.

>>42201679
reclining: easier to get into a relaxed state, but you might fall asleep or get too lax
seated: somewhat balanced if you have an upright posture
standing: more active. learn to deal with discomfort of being standing still.
walking: even more active. learn to meditate while doing a simple action.

just skim the abstracts and conclusions for now, senpai.

a quick google scholar search,
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0005796707001003
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4283801/
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Cendri_Hutcherson/publication/23302107_Loving-Kindness_Meditation_Increases_Social_Connectedness/links/0912f508e975ee28ce000000.pdf
http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1533210107311624

>>42188018
Start with guided meditation. Dan Harris' app is decent, but I'm a bit more partial to Headspace.

>>42188283
Good stuff all around mate. You're making great progress. Big props on cutting out your friends over drugs, I know how hard that can be, but trust me, you've made the right choice.
Don't worry too much about your lift numbers for now, just work on getting lifting (with proper form) into your routine.

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>>42201338
Yeah same. Got my masters, been working out, smoking less, learning to cook etc

Less friends and sexual action than ever before. Definitely think the way to go in life is just to say fuck it and do what you want and feels good instead of "self improvement" shit that this board shoves down your throat. I'm 24 now, been "improving" since 18, and it hasn't made my life any better except for the master's part (which still totally trashed my social life)

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>>42194677
>From dice rolling in basement to a mix of leathercrafting, basic swordplay, acting, survivial and LARP'ing on a fucking castle.
>Everyting is possible if you strive long enough.

holy shit this has got to be bait

>>42189340
Campus will most likely have resources on helping quit.
Stop playing Melee also, the normalization of harmful drug use is rampant in the scene.

>>42194711
Do jiu jitsu. Seriously, it's just as engaging for your mind, and it will get blood and endorphins rushing through you. Classes tend to be in the evening, so you'll be stopped from settling down for a night for of vidya.
>>42197522
If you find a BJJ gym, there will likely be at least two or three folks who did judo. A good BJJ instructor will teach some judo throws for standup as well.
>>42199206
Acceptance is the first step anon.
Internet and Vidya killed my GPA in high school and cost me my first stint in college. Learn to cut the habit before it damages you.

>>42200491
Awesome stuff anon, getting off of SSRIs is a huge step. Enjoy Japan!

>>42201455
Basic skincare, get a good pair of glasses, go to a high end barber once or twice to figure out what your ideal hairstyle is.

>>42201769
thanks for spoonfeeding me senpai
gotta sleep now
hope to see you in another thread again

What exactly is an addiction?
Is it anything that's a part of one's comfort zone, easy to retreat to, that isn't directly creative/productive, or is it something that actively interferes with one's life and provides little to no positive effects?

>>42202443
It's something that interferes with your life and produces no positive effects (or the negative effects far outweigh the positive effects).

should i quit porn or nah?

>>42203671
Yes. Use your imagination instead. If you have a masturbation problem quitting porn alone should be enough to solve it.

>>42203754
what if you don't even have anyone to fap to? My friends are all dudes.

>>42202443
An addiction is a compulsive behavior, without which you cannot function normally, and the absence of which produces negative feelings

>>42203836
Don't you ever go out in public and see hot bitches? Start building up your spank bank.

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>>42193540
This is probably not true. When an ortho tells you "You're not qualified for Invisalign", what they actually mean is "I don't have the skills to successfully align your smile with Invisalign." Find an ortho who is qualified/has the skills, probably one who does exclusively Invisalign.

t. guy who thought he didn't qualify for Invisalign until he found a better orthodontist


>>42200491
This sounds fucking excellent. Good for you, anon. Have fun in Japan, you guys will love it.

>>42201267
I don't really notice any effects after drinking caffeine desu.

>>42200728
Not that anon.
Took the test just now and scored a 70 for reference.
Personally I take phenibut (no more than 2 times a week), about ~3 g a time, and then go out my regular day.
Really helps me talk to people and allows me to sort of hold on to that feeling, so I can later autopilot that behavior when not on anything.

The reason I still score so high is because I can't talk to authority at all, talk on the phone, or talk to employees/salepeople.

>>42190562
go to a "rave" or edm fest and take some molly

you will do basic dance moves without thinking about it and it stays with you every time you hear music afterwards

source the molly outside the venue tho, getting them inside is dangerous not just because of fakes but also because of undercover cops

>>42184527
Wow
I am kind of the opposite I have been studying a bunch of super villain skills that can be applied at just the right moment to create a situation that only a real super hero can handle.
It's a free market if you want super heroes you need to first create the demand.
So far I have built small range emp and looking into a exoskeleton to help me deal with the trash teir humans
Hope to see u in battle one day anom

>>42204782

Maybe I didn't provide enough information to make it clear, but I have a snaggletooth and poor jaw alignment. All but my front top 6 teeth are perfectly straight. I need bands to realign everything including my jaw to prep for surgery. I actually have all my dental issues sorted and was hoping for some validation on having moved forward with it. The main reason I made the post was because I'm having trouble coping with the breakup and having to have a boring, lonely summer of self improvement.

Damn it /sig/


Just by the time I finally got my motivation back from reading these kind of threads, 4chan is fucking rangebanning our asses.

>>42208317
What?

>>42208722
My country's already banned from browsing /int/, /v/, /a/ etc.

I don't know what's the reason behind rangebanning, but you know for most of my almost 10 years of stay in 4chan, I'm thankful I finally visited /fit/ so much so that I wish I never wasted my life on other boards.

>>42188693
any tips? resources?
tried learning italian through Duolingo, only gave me basic vocab and I had to google and memorise all of the rules myself

>>42209045
Not talking about Italian in particular but I think you should ditch Duolingo, or at least use it as a supplement to some other main studying
Try Schaum's Outlines of Grammar, pretty good sources

>>42178748
Is this like the stupid questions thread but on /fit/?

>>42209069
No that's QTDDTOT
>>42206074

Is there any way to go from complete autism to picking up on social signals? Sheer exposure to social situations is probably the best way to go about it, right?

>>42210452
>Book of Pook and constant exposure

>>42179310
i wanted to learn how to play max payne's theme on piano, later i realized you need 2 people to actually do it

>>42210635
the arrangement somebody plays in one of the later levels in MP2? i remember getting the sheet music for it, it was kind of hard

Anybody having trouble getting over their ex?

It's been 6 months, and I've had other girls as well as two fwbs. Why do I miss her so much?

I saw her with her fatass, druggie boyfriend today for the first time in 5 months, and I got really angry and frustrated.

I broke up with her because I knew she was toxic, and I wanted more women. She's been over me for a long time, why do I still care?

I've read so many breakup books, done so many breakup exercises, and have done 100% no contact and deleted all her stuff.

Is running PPL 6 days a week too much? Starting to feel fatigued as fuck, might just switch to 5x5 3days a week or something.

>>42210652
no, i meant the first game's music, i don't know where to look for the music sheets so i watched that one video (synesthesia i think, i'm not sure) on youtube and copied the notes from it. i saw it was 2 people needed since the album picture has 2 names on it and on the video it has 2 colors which are far away for one guy to play.

I was invited by one of my BJJ bros to come to a party with him. Haven't talked to a girl in like 3 years (19 yo), any advice on getting approaching and getting a girl's number? I suppose my rating would be about average, but I'm pretty non-normie looking (buzzed and wrestling made me thicc). Can't take my KHV status much longer.

>>42211045
link to the video?

>>42211109
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD0DkuFChl0
just for you anon <3

>>42210884
6 days a week as a natty will crush you. If you're eating and sleeping on point and not cutting you can probably manage 4 if you vary the volume/weight you use

>>42211140
https://music.karashome.pl/downloads/22,max-payne-theme-piano.html i think this is it. it's kind of ugly imo but it's playable by one person

>>42188406
What are you doing with the money you earn from this job? It's important I find to treat yourself occasionally or to be saving towards a larger visualized goal and remind yourself that all the stressful parts of the job are still going towards the things you want.

>>42188457
you sound dysfunctional and if you break up with the girl she will have dodged a bullet. There's not being a pussy and then there's this preconceived 'alpha' women hater bullshit all over the internet. I've been in several long relationships over and under a year and never once have I been cheated on or felt I had to break things off because of it. Because I communicate and I know the partner in my relationship is a good person and I place trust in them. If they don't seem like a good person I dont get into the relationship. What you are saying is the most insecure shit I've ever read. The exact opposite of an 'alpha'. Try being a decent partner and she'll reward you. She probably wants someone to talk about scary or unknown parts of her trip. Get your shit together dude or prepare to have a lifetime of casual sex and unstable short lived relationships.

>>42188457
>>42211315
P.S. quit generalizing all girls as unable to control themselves or weak. You're an idiot dude. I've met and been in a relationship with girls who are far better and more dependable people than I am and I pride myself on being one. Don't let a bitch walk over you, but don't start going lunatic mode when there have been no signs of problems at all.

is there a /sig/ discord?

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>birthday today
>moved to new place 6 months ago, so home alone at PC
>usually drowned self with beer and feeling lonely
>said fuck it and went to gym istead
>feeling great now

I'm still alone, of course, but I don't mind.
Is that what they say about "mental gains" when you start lifting?

>>42212267
Happy birthday anon

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>>42212647
Thank you

>>42181910

You lack elementary drug knowledge. Kys.

>>42181765
> jus b urself

I've been myself all my life & have gotten nowhere.

>>42188589
Caring if she cheats isn't alpha. Is she a plate or are you trying to wife her?

>>42195527
References? If so then yes, absolutely.

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>still can't get up early
>vacation
>gets even harder
>can't do nofap
>havent had a gf in three years
>can't study
>can't work motivated
>can't successfully advance SS
>keep deloading at the gym

ah crap I can't do anything right

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Has anyone here ever gotten past extreme feelings of self loathing/self hatred?

any guys in here interested in accountability partners? just someone who will check up on you once a day and discuss improvements and failures and generallu help keep each other up to it?

I'm going to get to see this girl I like tomorrow night oh jesus please let me not fuck this up

>>42214050

It's called drugs. Legal or not; go get some and MAKE yourself happy anon!

>>42214044
>ah crap
Serious? That's your reaction to your shit-hole life?

I've found my life is divided into sections where I seem to have clarity, and sections where my vices drown it out. It helps to write this down.

>>42200491
How much does that 2 month japan trip cost?

>>42214606
It's only for a week, I leave in 2 months. Just under 3 grand a person. We are using a travel agent though... You could probably go for a lot cheaper.

>>42214252
What do you want me to say then

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>>42214050
I have, I don't drink or smoke either.

Do a lot of self reflection, realize that no matter your current worth, you can become something better.

remember to live in the moment, and instead of saying things in your head you don't like about the situation, say what you like or appreciate about where you're at.

Find the negitive aspects of your life and leave them, realize you have value and strive for a better future for yourself, because you deserve to be happy anon. and if you feel you don't deserve it, work at feeling better till you do till you feel like you do.

side note, volunteer more. Not fucking kidding with that


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

>>42201359
>Find something you can't do, want to do and do it.
Honestly wise words.
Most of what you said anyone should already know on here, you should improve yourself for your own sake.

Not out of shape but not in it either, I can effectively climb mountains so there's nothing I desire that my body can't do.
Well except rock climbing, I REALLY want to try it someday but I have no gyms around me and it's expensive af.
I might right down a list of the things I can't do and see if any of them I want to do is feasible, maybe I'll try to scratch a few off the list.

>>42214083
pls respond

>>42214083
Anon lets do it, I dont want to post my phone number but email me at [email protected]. Its my old junk email and we can exchange better details from there

>>42216510
>>42216650
Email guy, is there a better way to get in touch? I have a snapchat I can give you over /fit/

>>42216650
>>42216675 wasn't me (>>42214083)

email sent

>>42216675
you have kik?

>>42216799
No, I have whatsapp tho

>>42216806
hit me with your snap then and i'll add you

>>42216815
Dntstpbaileyvin