>gym crack addict snorted all the chalk AGAIN

File: 1430541197199.jpg (54KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 800x600px

>only barbell in the gym is out of order until thursday

>Rowing machine was sunk again

File: 1452236663506.png (274KB, 600x572px) Image search: [Google]

274KB, 600x572px

>had to wait 20 minutes for the locker room helper to finish up dressing other people until he could get to me

File: 19149271_1552754594766618_7950899149705304007_n.jpg (34KB, 658x901px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 658x901px

>>42174944
>forgot my tickets for the squat rack

File: Angry_Mets.jpg (69KB, 400x500px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 400x500px

>the arm bros ran off with all of the 10s and 25s from my power rack

>manlet got out of the pit and got his arm stuck in the plate dispenser again.

File: wojacqueline.jpg (49KB, 422x509px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 422x509px

>gym bull hasn't impregnated me yet

File: eaZrosc.png (363KB, 5000x5000px) Image search: [Google]

363KB, 5000x5000px

>>42174944
>forgot Squat Day is a national holiday in El Salvador
>gym was closed

File: 1409808757101.jpg (26KB, 380x250px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 380x250px

>gym mime didn't show up today
>have no way of checking if my form is correct

File: 1488827306861.png (193KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

193KB, 500x500px

>got pulled over while on the stationary bike again
>Just the tail light this time though

File: IMG_5339.png (10KB, 216x233px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 216x233px

>stair machine broke down again
>have to use escalator machine

How am I supposed to make gains like this?

File: IMG_0365.jpg (69KB, 532x618px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 532x618px

The gym mirrors are dirty, can't check my shadow boxing form.

File: download (2).jpg (4KB, 252x200px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 252x200px

>>42174944
>someone broke the gravity controller
>all equipment stuck in the roof
>can't look into mirror to check form

>Gym priest is on vacation
>cant do preacher curls

File: 5E6F668A-6DAA-48B2-91D8-90E0C7A9B236-3178-0000032BBA6C3CC8.jpg (34KB, 318x359px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 318x359px

>Poojeet uses squat rack before me.
>Shit plastered all over the equipment.

File: 1496838231357.jpg (65KB, 626x626px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 626x626px

>Asian anti-gay activist Ho-Nomo stayed home today.
>My eyes are stuck at dick height in the locker room

File: Higher lift on hiking shoe.jpg (272KB, 1800x1350px) Image search: [Google]

272KB, 1800x1350px

>gym segregates manlets and underaged to kiddie corner
>height must start with a 6 to use tall area of gym
>always dreamed to lift with the big boys
>devise a plan to wear hidden lift shoes to get in
>successfully step over manlet pit
>successfully step over barricade of medium sized hurdles
>successfully reach the key to the tall area gate, on the top shelf
>turn key and enter into blinding light to tall area
>put on my best Chad face that I'd practiced hours the mirror for
>"how do you do fellow men?"
>get a few weird looks as I virgin walk across the tall-weights area
>start doing tall-squats in the tall-rack
>ezpz
>tall-rack scoreboard isn't incrementing with each squat I do
>tall-racks starts flashing red and an alarm goes off
>tallgoers all turn their heads simultaneously to glare at me
>huge gym employee comes out from the backroom
>hes carrying a man-sized industrial protractor
>drops it next to me, ground shakes
>tells me to squat and inspects my range of motion
>notices I'm doing inferior manlet squats
>I've been found out
>make a dash for the exit, hoping they can't identify me
>two other personnel lay down a spike strip
>my elevated soles are blown, crash and burn into the medium sized hurdles
>quarantined to the manlet pit for a month

File: IMG_2486.jpg (19KB, 268x284px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 268x284px

>>42176073

File: 1500207946037.jpg (32KB, 750x546px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 750x546px

>The qt cardio bunny hopped away again

File: amazon-milk-frog.png (799KB, 986x769px) Image search: [Google]

799KB, 986x769px

>eat mandatory gym cheese and gym beans
>wait mandatory 30 minutes for food to digest
>read optional national geographic south american tribe women with saggy racks gone wild, for motivation
>pop a boner
>go to squat rack and do mandatory mouth breathing excercise for 45min
>tell the squat rack robot i make stink stink caus of cheese and beans (mandatory secret password for squats)
>robot says access denied to squat rack because my secret password wasn't pronounced with emphasis on the stink stink
>tfw cheese and beans still erupt from my anus without even squats smdh

File: 1499630356427.jpg (100KB, 433x419px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 433x419px

>>42176073

File: 1498044111379.jpg (16KB, 493x387px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 493x387px

god dammit this thread

>Mexican janitors had a cockfight in the power rack again

>Gym philosophers debating in the squat rack
>Have to be awkwardly work out near them in order to confuse my muscles

>>42175654
Ok i laughed

File: joyous cackle.gif (979KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

979KB, 500x281px

>>42176073
bueno

File: 1498935418041.png (303KB, 651x636px) Image search: [Google]

303KB, 651x636px

>gym rapist got his dick caught in the cables again
>mechanic has to untangle him in the morning

File: 1499294371202.png (69KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 225x225px

>gym twink snuck home in my bag again

File: 1500169762909.jpg (10KB, 186x356px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 186x356px

>Jim the Gym Tool Man says only wrenches are available today
>Can't do hammer curls

File: image.jpg (1MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 3264x2448px

>gym crow stole my preworkout chalice

File: 1498101840096.png (173KB, 577x571px) Image search: [Google]

173KB, 577x571px

>>42176073

File: t___k.png (3KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 400x400px

>>42176073

>>42175305
underrated

>thought gym put in a new bench press but it was a gym mimic

>>42175316
underrated

>>42179138
Is there a black person pun here or am I just being retarded

>gym archpriest cast turn undead on the cardio area and now the skellys have swarmed into the free weights section

File: 1458955311935.png (191KB, 367x321px) Image search: [Google]

191KB, 367x321px

>forgot my squat plug
>had to use the communal one

File: 1463965520926.jpg (45KB, 550x397px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 550x397px

>someone forgot to chain up the water fountain crocodile again

File: sli43.jpg (224KB, 719x780px) Image search: [Google]

224KB, 719x780px

>>42174944
>gym is infested with slimes overnight
>they keep multiplying no matter how many times we splatter them with pl8s
>gym wizard finally turns them all into protein-shake slimes
>We all just start eating them
>vegans get upset
And that's how the slime menace was eradicated at my gym today.
Was tons of fun though.

>gym teacher is using the chalk for a lecture
>can't get a grip on the bar

>>42176683
I like this one

File: IMG_0455.jpg (28KB, 471x312px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 471x312px

>forgot to plug in the squat rack
>gains lost

>>42175654
Kek

File: Sloth+dindu+nuffin+he+a+good+boy+he+was+goin+_182747a3485ae62d4c2bf9a3684eb1c2.jpg (95KB, 755x733px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 755x733px

>The fit black chick is not at gym today so all I have is white ass to stare at

>forgot to update squat rack hardware
>the component shutdown midset

File: 462.jpg (79KB, 640x450px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 640x450px

>>42174944
>Newbie forgets to ask gym bomb squad to defuse landmine press after he's done using it
>3rd one this week to explode

File: 1500299645628.jpg (71KB, 670x833px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 670x833px

>>42174944
>screamer at the squat rack
>have to wait 10 seconds for the gif to reset

File: b88.jpg (76KB, 602x755px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 602x755px

>wore basketball shorts to the gym
>forgot to bring towel
>got hiveaidsrash all over my ass

>>42176608
>>42176683
>>42179406
>>42179483
underrated

>>42176608
Why didn't you join in you pussy

File: d4e3eda78e764109a298637c3d54d08d.jpg (11KB, 220x220px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 220x220px

>>42179853
>samefag in the gym thread again

File: 00000000b.jpg (66KB, 1024x602px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 1024x602px

>>42176073
>quarantined to the manlet pit for a month

File: 1498234626421.jpg (5KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 250x250px

>Cant do OHP because I left my head at home again

File: 00000E2.png (77KB, 202x227px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 202x227px

>Indians shit on the power rack again

>>42174944
OP posted this thread AGAIN

>Romaninan deadlifts asking for change again

File: IMG_1112.jpg (18KB, 600x515px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 600x515px

>the Italians that don't clean the spaghetti sauce of the bar after deadlifting

I THOUGHT TRUMP WAS GOING TO FIX THIS!!!!! REEEEEEEEEE!

>left lube at home
>want gym daddy to bless my gains with his cummies but don't want to bleed all over squat plug after
>tfw no PR today
>tfw have to succ some stranger off just to hit protien macro
>forgot to say no homo so now I'm getting married next weekend
>thanks Obama

File: 1479080088691.jpg (106KB, 532x664px) Image search: [Google]

106KB, 532x664px

>gym support leveled up stats instead of skills
>cant cast spot and cant activate motivate
>can outbench me and shittalks in allchat
Fucking knew i should have started maining StartingTop instead of PPLcarry. This gym matchmaking is bullshit.

>mom found out my protein levels were elevated
>killed muh gains, made a news article.
http://katv.com/news/local/heber-springs-mom-says-her-son-was-given-energy-supplement-by-coach
>Not allowed to be fit anymore.

>be me
>not you
>me
>get to gym, feeling good
>downloaded my workout onto my phone at home
>get to power cage, plug phone in to USB port
>gym admin hasn't updated cage firmware wtf
>do it myself, have to wait 20min while it downloads on shitty gym wifi
>w/e, I'll deadlift first
>plug phone in to barbell
>shitty bar doesn't support my gains app, have to stream it direct
>warm up, low resolution and a little buffering (probably cos cage firmware is downloading on gym wifi, don't have much data left though so w/e)
>time for work set, 3pl8 x5
>first rep, feeling good, bar about to clear knees
>disconnected
>gym wifi must have gone down
>stuck there holding the bar for an hour until the staff FINALLY notice me
>they just need to reboot the barbell but they refuse to touch it without the gym admin
>he's on leave until thursday
>mfw

>local gym brapphogg milky mommy is out of order again

m-milky

File: 1486063679887.jpg (572KB, 1175x880px) Image search: [Google]

572KB, 1175x880px

>gym is out of squat capes

>>42184478
>not having fullbody armor
dyel

File: IMG_1561.jpg (63KB, 960x720px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 960x720px

>Gym champion laid the smackdown on me like a jabroni

>gym benchwarmer didn't show up today
>had to do bench cold

>>42184478
>squatting in a smith machine.
never gonna make it

File: 1498081556621.jpg (60KB, 693x663px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 693x663px

>trap bar too masculine