Mire thread

Recent mires:

> boss' wife
> gf's underage sister and cousin
> stripper with two mystery meat kids and money troubles
> pink-haired radical feminist who says I could "Make her feel like a woman"

I'm getting good miring but from all the worst sources. Targeting is off. Not sure what to do

>>42141912
I've found that having muscles compensates for social autism. I just get a chest and arm pump, wear a tight shirt, undo the top couple buttons and get mires all night.

>>42141912
7/10 is good but it's the boss and you may have problems at your job if you're not good in bed (according to her).

Recent mire: a very cute 8.5/10. I'm kind of autistic socially but I smiled and said hello, which is a good start.

>>42141912
If giant corp, put in a few months time, then sue for sexual harassment.

semisrs

>>42141985
>I've found that having muscles compensates for social autism.
You must be new here...

Yea dont fuck your boss. That's generally a bad idea.

>>42141912
Don't dip your pen in the company ink.

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>be married
>wife has a younger sister
>Sister is extremely high test in all the right places, looks nothing like her parents or siblings
>Massive perky titties, fat wobbly heart shaped ass that approaches randalin tier proportions
>She flirts with me constantly and wife just laughs it off
>Going on a vacation with them soon

HELP
E
L
P

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>walking the camino de santiago in spain
>get mired by some 48 year old woman
>start walking with her and sleeping with her every night
>apparently we're in love now

go on date with very beautiful girl
we go for drinks, nice cuz i can enjoy a good brew with a nice female
the date goes very well, we walk a little bit after the date just to chill together, i walk her back to her car
she says : why don't you follow me with your car
she drives me to her appartment
an other drink at her place
before taking the drink i look at her and say : if I drink this i can't drive my car and go sleep at my place
she says: sleep here it was always the plan
ok
after savage fucking just cuddling in bed she says i feel safe in your arms
;) feels great

>>42142409
True, but I don't plan on being here long, and I figure it'd make for a good story to tell.

>>42142420
Here's your chance for a threesome

>>42142420
It's possible the wife set the sister up to flirt with you as a test... TREAD CAREFULLY

but i'm also and autist so idk

>>42142547
It sounds like the sister is more attractive. If so, a woman would never ask someone she feels is more attractive than her to flirt with her man.

>>42142590
Well it is her sister. I imagine she would trust her a little bit.

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>in game stop after gym
>sick pump
>finally buying BF1
>QT sales person tells me I look like I should be a character in the game (beard+warrior look)
>invite her back to my place (roommates out of town) to eat dinner and drink some 40s
>says she would love to but had plans already
>gives me her number and tells me to call he after the weekend
MIRED

>chillin at bus stop messing with figet spinner
>qt walking by compliments my arms
>says she likes the way they look when I click the spinner
/MADE IT

>at work
>old Mexican janitor ladies refer to me as "guapo"
>out back behind the building hitting my dab rig
>old Mexican lady says in broken English "I no tell senior gaupo"
Making it has its perks boys.

>>42142613
>fidget spinner
>making it

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>>42142613
They were calling you gato for the way you arch your back when you DL

>>42141980
>two mystery meat kids
Lost

>>42142631
Honestly my dude, I only have the fidget spinner in case I need to chuck it at an assholes drivers car
>>42142673
>implying I fell for the DL meme, I use machines except for Bis/Tris

>>42142673
Lol

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>walk into gym
>women check me out through the mirror
>even the women who are already with a man are looking at me

I haven't even made it yet, I'm only half-way there.

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>>42141912
>putting her hands on my shoulders

I don't let women touch my muscles, however hot they may be. Why? Because it feels good to deny them. Fuck women. Part of the reason why I love being muscular is because there's something primal in women that LOVE muscles, and rejecting their attraction to me is my personal way of spiting their gender.

t. unironic misogynist

but here's a couple
>buyin beer with friends
>have my back to the door
>wearing semi-tight jeans
>black woman walks in
>she says "Dat ass..!" loud enough for me to hear
>I turn around to see wtf
>she quickly walks off

>chilling at mates house
>chick friend comes say hi
>she was always feeling me even before I started lifting
>"anon heyyy"
>she has both hands on my bicep
>"oh hey"
>I humor her
>flex violently
>she practically moans
>mfw

>>42141980
You should fuck the feminist, I guarantee she will let you choke her and put it in her butt

>>42143017
>>flex violently
shit nigga

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>>42142673
>tfw i'm stifling laughter in my office so my employees don't find out I browse 4chan all day while they work

Great post anon

>>42142673
>Wife is Italian.
>Her mother's side is Calibrese.
>Visiting her Nonna when we first started dating.
>Try to make a good impression, and ask the nice old lady about her cat.
>She thinks I'm asking what the cat is, no what the cat's name is.
>She looks at me deadpan and says very slowly "GAAAAATTTTOOOOOO".
>For the next six months I think she's senile.
>She thinks I'm retarded.
>Doesn't help that everytime I visited I would pet her cat and say "Gato".
>Wife knew just how much of a moron I looked like, but kept quiet just to have a laugh.
>Nonna would compliment me by squeezing my arm and saying "A Strong Men" in heavily accented broken English.
>She thought if she spoke a full sentence I wouldn't understand it because I was retarded.
>When we finally cleared up the Gato issue we had a big laugh and she cooked some incredible Rabbit.
Honestly miss that woman, I was heartbroken that she died before she could see her granddaughter get married.

I like these mire threads, hope to be apart of one someday.

>>42143209
That's awesome.

>>42141912
Dont bang anybody at work, bang people you don't work with

>>42143265
Thanks

I'm going g to have kids soon and I'm sad they won't get to grow up knowing her.

I only got 10 years with one of my nans and one of my pops, and both of them ended up with dementia before I was 6.
I really want my kids to be able to have a relationship with their grandparents.

Don't think it will happen on my side because my mum is cold as fuck when it comes to grandkids and my dad is so autistic and emotionless that most people think he's just the "strong silent type".
Never once told me he's proud of me, or anything like that.

Father in law is a man child with anger issues, I've nearly decked him a number of times; had to stand between him and my wife/her sisters a few times.
Mother in law is a genuinely great person though, so 1/4 ain't bad, right?

>>42142613
>old Mexican lady says in broken English "I no tell senior gaupo"

Done

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>>42142613
>>42142631
YFW

>gf has friend from out of town visit
>she and I have been dating a month or so, so her friend doesnt know we're together
>out of towner just heard my gf left her ex about 6 months back
>"don't worry honey, he was a fucker. You'll meet someone better"
>Gfs other friend chimes in
>"girl you should see her new guy"
>pulls up my IG
>group of six women fawning over me
>gf tells them all to chill and that I'm her king and to get their own

Not really a mire but a good feel
>ex broke up with her rebound yesterday
>immediately texts me asking if I want to fuck
>sends three more texts when I don't reply
>blocked

I upgraded hard

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>>42143283

I'm starting to get some serious mires at work though.

>>42142738
I love it when this happens

Although sometimes I feelz for the dyel bf. It was me once

>>42142448
I'm genuinely thinking of walking that,is it enjoyable? How far are you going/ did you go?

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>>42144420

>immediately texts me asking if I want to fuck
>sends three more texts when I don't reply

nice

>>42141912
Yeah thats her job man

>>42142590
>more attractive
has a better body maybe

>been lifting three years. Never really been mired.
>get ALL my clothes tailored. All dress shirts, pants, etc. start getting $20 haircuts instead of buzzing it
>women at work start noticing me
>whoa when you start working out?
>walk by older lady who comes from rich blue blood family in town
>"you know, you should be in Jane Austen novel."
>"huh?"
>you seem to have what women want, just don't open your mouth

I really am an autist. That one actually hurt

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I always get mired when I wear my waifu tanks

>>42145671
And you just took it?

>>42146091
The women is nearly 70 years old and just walked away after saying that.

>>42146016

>Thinks that those looks are mires

I have some bad news for you anon.

>>42141980

Go for underage. They won't be illegal forever

>>42141912
I'm up to 4 girls approaching me at the gym this year so far! It's amazing the looks you get when lower your bf.

>>42142738
Means you probably have a good face. I look like dog shit shirtless but I still get mired from QTs

>>42146151
I'm tall white and aesthetic, they are bud

>>42146173
hell for most businessmen they're very legal

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>>42146016

>>42142613
>(beard + warrior look)

Neck your self

>>42142709
You're an idiot and you haven't made it. You haven't made anything, 'my dude'.

>>42142613
Thanks for the kek

>>42142173
Kek

>>42146188
No they're not, you deluded fuckchap.

>>42146016
>mired
wew

>tfw no mires
>tfw nothing to mire
>tfw lurk this thread
>tfw I'm happy for everyone getting mired
You're my inspirations

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videotaped dips today to check form

saw this

>>42146368
i know this feel

>>42146016
> those delts
> "mires"
hooo boy

>>42142420
So why did you Marry that land whale in the first place?

>>42146413

sheeit you look cute

>>42146413
this might just be the first time she sees someone do weighted dips
we need full video to know for sure

>>42146429
My face and gym location are in the video, do not want

She's used the dip station after me before, so at the very least she's seen me do this.

>>42143066
this if she isnt 300 + pounds

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>>42146413
Give her the d man

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>>42146452
oh well i tried
i second this guy >>42146425
you look qt, yes homo

>>42146697
I look way taller in pics from what my tinder dates have told me

Also the belt really slims down the waist. Am a 5'9 dwarf who's slowly getting rid of what's left of his gut

I seem to get a lot of mires at the grocery store lately since my cut is going very well. Under my clothes is still a mess but the rest looks pretty good. Mostly quick glances and smiles from some milfs and the college qts that live nearby. One stood out a lot recently.

>Kinda in a hurry just need to grab 2-3 quick things
>Trying to hurry in and out
> Walk into entrance right near self-checkout.
>See a group of 4 college girls.
>3 cuties and 1 short slightly chubby maybe 5/10
>On a mission to get in and out quick but I take time to eye up the 3 cuties. One had a great ass
>Look at shorty last and she staring straight at me and see her very obviously raise her eyebrows like she wants to jump me right there in the checkout lane.
>keep my stride and walk past kinda dumbfounded. Never had someone so obviously eye fucking the shit out of me like that.
>Laughed and got my groceries.

Not as cute as the other girls that were with her but I'll gladly take such an aggressive mire.

>>42146759
i'm also 5'9
w-we should fugg

I can't tell if girls are staring at me for being good looking or looking ugly as fuck. Either way, nothing changes so I don't give a fuck.

>>42146779
sry am too busy crushing on her friend

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>>42146422
Mirin?

>>42143066
Fuck that.

It'll be a crazy fuck and then she'll start carrying a mattress around.

>>42146806
I always just assume it's the latter

>>42142673
boom roasted

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>>42146016
>image cuts off

>>42142590
>more attractive
She's fat. Anon is attracted because, duh, male.

If he was married to the fatass little sister, then he would be on here dreaming about the /fit/ older sister.

>My last mire was my wife's boss
>Meeting her for first time
>She stands next to me (wife was across from us)
>The whole time we are talking, she is grabbing my upper arms and delts
>MFW my wife's new boss is squeezing my shoulder like a melon while talking to my wife

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>>42146016
>Asukafags

>>42143017
>Dat ass
Somewhat unrelated, but it has started driving me crazy that people are using Internet terms, meme language, Instagram one liners, etc in real life.

"Dat Ass"
Derpty-doo. This isn't 4chan, and you aren't a dude, so zip it.

>>42142173
That career path is only available to women(female).

>>42146697
I seriously cannot stop laughing at this picture and i don't know why.

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>working in electronics store
>some dude bought small fridge
>"let's lift together to my car" he said
>I lifted alone and put in his car trunk
>"Do you lift anon?"
>I nod

Male mire is still a mire right?

>>42141912
If you feel your game is tight go ahead, if not better not

>>42147174
when you realize internet memes are not created by electrical circuits and internet servers

when you realize they derive from real life

>>42146759
bro 5'9 is not that short stop letting 4chan fuck you up lol

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how big do i have to be to wear this to the gym? bought something similar at hot topic last week

>>42147435
My best friends are 6, 6'2 and 6'5 so mosr of the time I end up looking like a manlet by comparison

>>42147477
Very big, can be less big if asain as its more discrimanated if you watch anime and your white.

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>>42142613
>Working at my shitty part time gamestop job
>Tired and hungry, just want to get home
>This fat neckbeard wades in
>Boasts to me about finally buying Battlefield 1
>The game is like almost a year old, must be a poorfag
>Creep tries to invite me to his fucking house for a first date
>Howtogetraped.pdf
>Lie about having plans already
>Give him a fake number and insist he must call me when the weekend is over
>Go out clubbing on Saturday and go home with an absolute hunk

Pic related is what he looked like

>>42141912
don't bang the boss. it will not end well.

>>42147477
Bretty chad to pull off wearing an asian female to the gym

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>>42148692
>not carrying little asian women in your backpack while lifting to work on stabilisers and maximise gains
It's like you don't even want to make it

>working as security guard at a festival with quite tight fitting tshirt on and im 200lbs 6'2 10-12% bf, havent seen noone IRL as big and lean as myself in quite a while
>cant let ppl in with their ownn drinks
>four milfs come along with their own drinks, one is 6/10 others are like 4/10 at best
>tell them i cant let them in
>they are ok with that and say they are going to finish the drinks as they are talking to me
>all of them start hitting on me
>one 4/10 asks from 6/10 if shes beautiful today
>6/10 asks me 'what do you think anon, does she look good?"
>think fuck it and thell them "it depends how good looking do you think I am"
>all the milfs start throwing compliments at me
>6/10 takes a good look at
>"anon you are very good looking dude with gorgeus eyes"
>just laugh it off
>they start asking when does my shift end so they can come drink with me etc and start grabbing my biceps
>they eventually leave
>later at night when they bass by they are still throwing compliments one of them grabs my delt and says "oogh this is our anon right here"
>after that later the 6/10 passes by alone
>buts her finger on her mouth
>pushes it in the mouth as she is passing by and looking me into the eyes
>muh dick(two days of nofap too)
>takes it out and points at me without saying a word
>rock hard

If i get the chance should I bang the 6/10 after tonight shift anons?

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>>42148826

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>Be me
>Going to a concert with my friends in my hometown
> We cross the street , a few girls behind us
>Hear one of them say "Damn ,that dude has a really nice hair"
>"A nice ass too" add another while the rest of them agree
>Start manually walking faster
I guess lifting does not cure autism

>>42148958
>Start manually walking faster
how is this autism? what would be "non-autistic" thing to do in that situation?

>>42141912
A girl let me see her naked then put my dick in her without having to pay money. Boom. I just 1UP'd everyone in this thread.

>>42148826

Do it, anon. MILFs are pretty straight forward with what they want and usually have their shit together.

>>42141912
>got gf
>suddenly old friends that are girls are messaging me asking me to hangout, telling me they're single again
>married woman at work keeps facebook messaging me, telling me she wants to buy me food and follows me everywhere at work
>ice cream floatmaster single mom stays late an extra hour after her shift to talk to me
>old high school friend came over at restaurant and started feeling up my chest and arms and telling me how big I am
>friends little sister keeps playing footsies with me and telling me how big I've gotten

All this right after I get a gf. I mildly want to fuck around but I don't want to be an asshole to my gf. She's nice so far.

>>42149981
tfw no footsies mire

>>42149998
it was my favorite mire

>>42141912
Do not shit in/on the place where you eat!

>>42148826
Yes.

Use a condom and don't trust her with anything.

>>42149981
What do you look like??? I need to know.

>that mother fucking feel when no qt grill playing footsies with me at dinner

What mode is this even?

>>42149383
Tell us your secret anon.

>work as checkout dude
>2.5 years natty, no compliments
>10 weeks juicing
>get 3+ compliments from guys every shift
>get called he man today
>chicks spilling spaghetti whenever they buy from me
>female colleagues miring

Fuck me sideways gym is great at the moment. Life is shitty but hopefully I can get some decent chicks around soon.

>>42148826
>>after that later the 6/10 passes by alone
>>buts her finger on her mouth
Stop. I'm on NoFap

>>42150193
>10 weeks juicing

Dat dere test is kicking in

>>42148826
Muh dick

>>42150230
Shits magic dude, going on 10kg lean in ~11 weeks. Blew up like crazy.

>>42150058
This applies to every chick, ever.

>>42150298
Enjoy the ride. It never ends now.

>>42141912
You shouldnt fuck her but this is one of those things everyone wants to do atleast once just to tell the story so that may weigh heavy on the scales.

>>42142420

I'm in exactly the same situation

>>42149308
initiate some sort of contact? wiggle the booty? reply with something witty maybe, not get scared of and run away from a compliment like that.

>>42149940
yeah she's gonna be good at it

>>42142613
>>42142709
Jesus dude you must be 17 years old
>fidget spinner
>video games
>thinking a beard makes you look tough

>>42142309
kek'd

>Met gfs parents. Her mother makes a few comments about "look at the size of him", and "telling me that someone like me "needs another serving" whenever we have another meal; but I assume it's because she's short and I'm tall.
>After I leave, gf tells me that her mother kept exclaiming that she kept exclaiming that she can't believe I'm a vegetarian, "how did he get so muscular without eating tons of meat", and "he must have a really healthy diet".
This isn't some elaborate veggiefag shill post, I don't really care what other people eat, and acknowledge that one can have a balanced and healthy diet with meat in.

Also
>Gfs sister comes to stay with her.
>Keeps asking me about exercise and fitness stuff. I don't sperg out and assume she's mirin, give a casual "yeah I go a few times a week" answer.
>The day after she's gone, gf tells me that her sister said I'm really sweet, and really *flexes and makes explosion sounds*.

Feels good man, I'm not even big. I'm only at about 65kg/105kg/140kg/150kg for OHP/BP/SQ/DEADS for 5reps. I have managed to stay pretty lean though. Also, inb4 everybody points it out, I know my deadlift is horrible, and I'm a bit imbalanced. Don't know what to do, I run SL with accessories, so I don't think I'm undertraining lower body.

>>42150874
nice

>>42142613
>so many fags falling for this obvious bait

sad!

>>42146912
Not with those forearms and obliques

>>42150874
>sister said I'm really sweet, and really *flexes and makes explosion sounds*.

The best.

>>42142420
>>42150368
Do NOT cheat on your wife. You made a deal with her and the Lord. Breed her and be a good father. Teach your sons to lift, and if you're fortunate enough to have grand kids, feign lament to your wife some day as you clean up kids toys after the grandkids have left from a day minding them.

>>42151469
Summers great right? I can get all the (you)s with ez bait

>be in a bar
>sit down at some table with 5 girls
>table's wet
>say "why's it so wet?"
>one of them says "it's because of you"
i kinda laughed at that, that was sharp

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>>42141912
Op was this the photo you sent with your resume?

>>42141912
>be me, poorfag working yesterday
>I work at a laser tag place (holy shit it's such an easy job and I enjoy working with kids)
>be explaining how gun and best works to a father, his son, and his daughter
>daughter wearing yoga pants and etc
>can never tell age with anyone here anymore, I assume all the qt3.14's are all 16 years old
>tell them to look at the tv behind them as part of equipment introduction.
>qt3.14 Russian daughter still staring at me for a good second or two.
>son and father both turned once I pointed at the tv.
Not a mire but related to that group. The son was like 6 years old or something. Enjoyed making sure he was having fun, gave them extra game time and stole a bottle of cold water for them. They charge 1.50 for cold water, ridiculous. Felt nice. Older Russian sister was definitely miring that there generosity.

Also another time.
>group of 16 year olds
>one trying to be social with me and etc
>asks to take a selfie with me
>I'm at work, with a staff shirt, huh?
>be autism, and say no....
>scurry away to grab some water
>come back, she looked sad
>later tell her I dont take selfies, and try to chat her up later during the game just to cheer her up

I have mixed feelings about the job. We do birthdays and everything and seeing that it's always a little strange. I've never really celebrated my birthday and my childhood wasn't too great. These kids have both parents, cake, pizza, large groups of friends, fuarkkk.

A-at least I get mires from teen qt3.14's and mom's r-right fit?

>>42147183
>When the class you wanted to pick is not available for your gender

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>>42146935

>>42142631
This

>>42152517
you sound like a good guy
would hang out with

fuck those qts btw

>>42142673
The only reason I come to fit anymore is to see people catch the Hiroshima treatment.

>El Gato

Fckkkkkkkk

>>42147477
>Faggots on Ice
Never

>>42146935
You sir, get one /fit/coin

>>42146773
I love grocery store mires.

>be me, go to grocery store to pick up milk
>no Oreos I wanted so wasted some time walking around like an artist looking for le cookies are ready
>cute grocery store girl who I've seen before with glasses playing with her hair as she puts my gallon of milk in a bag.

I usually buy my groceries from a wholesale place. Maybe I should go to the grocery store more for motivation?

>>42147257
Did he actually say "Do you lift?" I've never heard another man say those exact words. It's usually, do you go to the gym or what routine do you have and blah blah

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>>42148573
>Mfw imagining some decently /fit/ guy working at gamestop getting asked on a date by some fatasfatass

To most recent mires
>Going tubing/swimming with friends
>First thing said to me when I get there (shirtless) is
>"Hello capitan meat pecs"

>Hello a body move
>Grab and move a table be myself
>Find out out it took three skinnyfat friends to move it the first time
>Later find out that friend's gf's reaction was:
>"I bet he fucks"

Can't wait for mires when I get to 2/3/4/5

>>42152596
Thanks anon. Thing is, all the mires are all short lived. I mean they come here for like 2 and a half hours maybe, playing their games and whatever and leave. I mean I haven't tried to chat one of these qt3.14's up for anything long term.

>mfw one of my coworkers was trying to flirt with some 24 year old
>she mentions that the baby was hers but coworker anon 1 didn't hear it
>me and coworker 2 both laugh later and tell coworker 1 that the kid was hers.

>24 years old
>at least a 1 year old child
>what?..

>>42141912
DO NOT

FUCK

YOUR COLLEAGUES

I was walking around with my friends during halloween when i was in high school and this group of pretty popular girls that we knew from elementary were walking toward us and one of them tlooked at me and shouted " IS THAT E____!?"(my name) it was cool but i wasnt confident so i didnt go in for the kill

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>walking back from the gym
>Hear a cat call wistle fron the backyard of a nearby house
>Think nothing of it and keep walking
>Nearing the end of thr block and hear "turn around" shouted at me
>Two gay dudes on there poarch waving and cat calling me saying "hey big boy"
>Turn around and act like I didnt see them
>Mfw

>>42150874
>her sister said I'm really sweet, and really *flexes and makes explosion sounds*
Did she 'splode a 'cep?

>>42152990
If you're surprised that a 24 year old has a kid, you must live in a really non-degenerate country or something.

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>>42143232
Keep up the good work and mires will start coming my man

>Go to kebab place pre gym to eat
>juicy extra meat dürüm kebab
>boss guy is middle aged strong guy
>hehe u lost weight my man
>tfw I am cutting what u want senpai
>demolished me in a arm wrestling contest 2 years ago when I thought I was ok strong
>sit outside, he suddenly wants to arm wrestle again
>I don't even try and he's giving it his all, trying for surprises when he's talking and suddenly stopping (was only allowed to stop him, not win)
>kek 0 movement, nigger even has better leverage on this table
>"you become strong man now, I am impressed anon"


2h later post gym
>sick pump from deadlifts (220kg 2x8) and some other back work + curlz
>go back for extra kebab
>"how come u so much bigger than before?"

Wew
>

>>42150874
>one can have a balanced and healthy diet with meat in
I never buy veggies or fruits, only eat meat and carbs, and whenever I go to check my blood at the doc they say I'm very healthy. So, a balanced diet with greens isn't even necessary for great health as long as you eat good quality meat and not shit like bacon.

>>42154902
That sounds comfy as heck my man

>>42154836
Only 23 years old right now. Not financially stable enough to have a kid for sure yet.

Thing is she wasn't a hot mom really just young and trashy

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okay so this is an old month mire.
I'm at the uni gym teaching my friend and three other classmates tag along. I'm lifting hard and suddenly the other three girls tell me to make them a routine, one of them is like wow you are huge and feels my bicep. I respond with if you're not buying don't touch, and she's like how can I buy if you're not selling mfw

another story> I'm done working out put on my all white med uniform except for tank top go outside to wait for my Uber with my doctor coat over my shoulder and arm is semi flexed when this girls pass bye and start catcalling me, feels good to be mired

>>42154767
Dude, gay mires are worth like 3.8 times a female mire.

>Do you even into mire exchange rate?
>least valuable mire is obviously female hambeast

>>42152797
>Hello a body move
>"I bet he fucks"
What the fuck kind of jungle speech is this?

>>42152797
how retarded does your typing have to be if autocorrect fucks it up this badly

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>>42150795
>wiggle the booty

>>42142409
Fuck you. If the company supplies ink, I'm gonna dip

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>>42151899

>>42142613
>says she likes the way they look when I click the spinner

I'll take that as things that never happened, Steve!

When I meet new girls, I always get comments that they recognise me or know me even though it's impossible. What is a good response?

>>42146413

Top lek

>>42147257
▲
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>>42155705
"You might have seen me in your dreams"

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>>42142613
>fidget spinner
>dab rig
You must be the famed meme master

>>42146127

Gotta call old people faggots. that always gets them riled up

>>42152180
You just knocked over one of their drinks, sperg...

>>42145671
Proverbs 17:28

Time to get fitlit

>>42152303
Yea. What other photo would I use?

>>42154902
The fuck did I just read?

>>42142448
Le diste pulpo a la gallega a la MILF eh campeon?

>>42152762
You dense motherfucker.

If this is bait, it's really good.

>just got my poverty 3.5pl8 deadly mired by a roider and a dyel and a PT (three distinct people)
small gyms are such a fucking ego boost
i'm easily top 5% strength-wise on strict press, squat and deadly, after like 9 months lifting

>>42155242
Gay mires are worthless unless you are either gay or said gay mire was vocal enough that actual females heard it and started thinking about it.

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>>42142547
>but i'm also and autist so idk

>>42157156
to be fair 9 months of lifting is pretty impressive for someone that was a dyel, most people start and quit after 3 months. but the real question is overhand or mix grip?

>>42150874
>Also, inb4 everybody points it out, I know my deadlift is horrible, and I'm a bit imbalanced. Don't know what to do, I run SL with accessories, so I don't think I'm undertraining lower body.

>being this fucking insecure that you need to make excuses like that for assumptions people on an anime imageboard will do

how do people like this even get girlfriends

>>42150874
>I run SL with accessories
I'm running SL with accessories, what extra shit are you running?

>>42141912
>be me.
>be paranoid autist.
>qt cashier is super smiley.
i'll need your phonenumber for...records or something
i don't have a phone
>she looks freaked out
>I leave with my sammich

Ha! No spam emails or third party direct mail shit for...fuuuuck.

>>42152797
I got "helping a buddy move" but I can't figure out "I bet he fucks"

>>42143017
>violent flexion
You have learned well comrade

>>42158186
It's a reference to the HBO series Silicon Valley. A character in the second or third season says "THIS GUY FUCKS" as an over the top way to imply that the character in question has a lot of sex.

>>42158227
>its a reference to the hip series silicon Valley
Don't even know what that is but it already reeks of reddit
this is either god tier Bait or you're clinically retarded

>>42158304
>misquotes me
>completely ignores my explanation of what "I bet he fucks" means and is in reference to
>I am somehow the retarded one

Fucking brainlet

>>42141980
Fuck the feminist nice and rough...

Thats my fetish

>>42157268
B-but I've never been mired by a gay guy. I get mires from girls and milfs all the time. Still no gay guy mire in my collection yet...

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>>42147477
Shit taste

>>42148573
mires doesn't count for females u skank

>>42157398
mix
but I'm training my grip by holding 2.5-3pl8 singles

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>>42148573
Kek

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>>42157156
190kg sumo diddly after 9 months here
with straps tho because i REALLY dont want to smash plates next to my feet if my grip happens to give out

My first 4pl8 conventional was double overhand and it slipped after locking out
Rather use straps than miss the second part where you slowly descend instead of dropping


as for the mire
>eating food at work
>one guy comments i eat portions made for 3 people
>girl i have crush on comments "hes a big guy"

for you

>>42157424
>Implying
I was just trying to pre-empt the first five responses being "Lmao, poverty deadlift, train legs fag." Cmon bruh, I was just getting to share a good mire feel.

>>42157945
Delt flyes, chins, dips, low weight pause squats. Usually end with DB curls transitioning into OHP on each rep. Sets of 5, then immediate drop set to lighter DBs until exhaustion or until 2kg dumbbells. Gives a sick pump.

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>>42158304
being this desperate to /fit/ in

>>42143017
>I don't let women touch my muscles, however hot they may be. Why? Because it feels good to deny them.

IKTF mate. Story happened when I joined Uni:
>be at bar with new Uni friends
>8 of us, 4 girls 5-6/10
>I am obviously the only lifter in the group
>They start commenting on my big arms, ask if they can feel them (guys and girls)
>I Only let the guys touch them just to piss off the girls a bit while making a joke out of it.
>Could see the deception in their eyes

And then I went home to bang my qt 3.14 gf.

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>>42159702

>>42142499
take a dump in her toilet when she's asleep and dont flush. She will wake up to a nice brownie breakfast

>be riding home from work
>hot as fuck outside so no shirt
>car coming up behind me so move to other lane
>qt blonde driving slows down as she passes me
>she smiles
>drives off ahead of me
>farther up road catch up to her at red light
>she's now staring at me until light turns green
>continue ride home
>up the road see her get out of car at a house
>as I pass by she is head over shoulder mirin hard, all smiles
>feelsgoodman.pepe

>>42143209
cat in italian is gatto. your non-white gato is spanish and portuguese for cat.


you've disappointed your nonna.

>>42146368
You'll get there. Never give up.

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>>42146368

Genuinely happy for you lads. I'm not even ottermode yet myself, but these threads are just the best kind of motivation

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>>42155771

>>42148573
Whore

>>42160596
>I Only let the guys touch them
as it should be

>>42141980
Shit that never happened threads are still allowed here?

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>>42141912
>have nicknamed me "muscle man"
She thinks you look like a fat nigga from Detroit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0r_yXJHYD0

>>42144447
enjoy them anon use them as motivation to fucking make it

>>42147257
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>>42148763
new fetish acquired

>>42161388
I never had the reason to write it down.
Sounded like gato, so I said gato.

Could also be that Calibrese is actually a different language to Italian.

>>42142547
smart boi

>>42158099
Did you also jizz in your pants?

>>42150795
> wiggle the booty
have men become sex toys now? this is just sad

>be me
>40 yo, recently got cut for the first time in my life.
>no six pack, more like a 4pack but whatever
>my office has a bunch of 20 year old chicks doing reception, secretary, etc work.
>"anon you're so buff, I wish my bf would work out"
>"anon, I love your arms. I want you to squeeze me"
>"anon come drink with us tonight, it's just us girls"
>but I'm happily married, and still autistic as fuck, so no follow up on my end.
>wife is hot, loves sex, and cooks my food, so I can't complain
>wife 'mires by new gains, but it's not the same thing as random 20 year old qt's

>>42146697
look at that little fuckers face

i miss my pom

>>42147257
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>>42162982
Man, my wife complimenting my weight loss and muscle gain is worth 100x any random slut.
It feels great to know that I'm giving her a body she enjoys.

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>manage hotel
>have several youth sports groups in house for little league tournament
>MILFs galore. Lots of Dads around, but also lots of single moms
>get on elevator with one of the qt moms
>notice her texting a group chat over her shoulder, because lanket
>"OMG I'm on the elevator with the cute manager"
>don't look any of the MILFs in the eye the rest of the day
>hide in my office until it's time to go home

>>42162982
>40 yo
>still getting mired by women half your age

Damn famalucci, I want to be you in about 20 years

>>42163707
You gotta own it broseph. If they're already miring then the hardest parts over. You can probably stare them right in the eyes and say stupid stuff like banana hammer, or monkey pasta. It doesn't matter if youre being mired that hard

>>42163828
If you have a decent face and good hair genetics, then you will be if you have a slightly decent body.

Mid 30's through early 40's is daddy figure territory.

Just don't get fat, don't lose your hair and dress nicely.

My brother (20 years older than me) doesn't have a great body, doesn't have a great face, just is eloquent, has hair and dresses nicely - he pulls more than anyone else I know.
Every single night I go out with him he gets at least two girls numbers - only reason he doesn't get a root is because he doesn't leave the group.

>>42141980
Fuck the feminist because >>42143066 and keep making jokes like "mystery meat kids" for our amusement.

>>42142613
W-what's a dab rig? Am I too old for the chon?

>>42143017
Next time try flexing a 'some.
I appreciate your misogyny but everything below the sig seems pretty autistic.

>>42141912
>No white grill mires cuz 5'11" king of manlets and look like a subhuman
>Mires and smiles from Latinas and chubby Natives (go to school by a few rezs)
>Gay guys mirin and aggressively hitting on me, two offered dick pics
>Middle aged asian women staring
>Just want Japanese twink who transferred from Hawaii uni to notice me, and bootylicious native grill to hit me up again

Life is fair brehs ;_;

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>>42142613
Comedy gold, anon.

>>42142420
>>She flirts with me constantly and wife just laughs it off

Do you even know anything about women? She is definitely on to you bro.

>>42164794
isnt woops

>>42162554
kek'd

>>42142613
>"in game stop..."

I knew right away anon

>>42147257
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>Been going to the same franchise gym location for like 1.7890 years now
>see advert that this chain is hiring receptionists
>im 6'3 like 220 20% bf at the time, do interview at main location and management (two older women in charge of hiring) like me
>they tell me to consider applying as personal trainer assuming i can complete the course(s)
>am now certified
>get told im to be working out of my usual location
>oh shit, bitter sweet feels
>all these women i didn't bother starting a dislogue with for obvious reasons now have a reason to interact with me (staff and gym goers included)
>the other two male PT's are Chinese manlets (awesome guys though, can't stress this enough)
>whenever im with a client, especially when im on the non-coed side of the gym each time i look up always carching some thirsty chick looking at me via the mirrors, fatties on the cardio machines, semi fit yoga pant types, milfs and cougars galore....the works
>its opened the door to all of them
>i make my clients work thier asses off, teach them proper non-meme lifts
>do core work like v situps, planks, supermans etc etc, all these bitches staring wishing i was working them just as hard
>always laughing with my lady clients, high fives and smiles all around, people seeing we having fun
>clients miring hard too from me doing bs shit like body weight pull ups, chins, dips, ab exercises

10/10 would recomnend all my 6ft + decently built fit bros to consider this type of side job. I lift on the days i meet clients. Doe eyed newbie girls newly signing up get complimentary sessions, its is too easy shooting fish in a barrel.

>>42156470
lol'ed pretty hard in the train, thanks anon

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>>42152797

>>42147257
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>>42163861
>banana hammer
>monkey pasta

What do you mean by that?

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>>42142673
Top

fucking

kek

>>42141912
At a private party a few days ago:

>buddies immediately notice and say I'm big and cut out because I'm wearing a sweater that was kinda tight fitting
>girl compares me and my friend and points at me that my shoulders are broad
>random guy I only met before once walks in and the first thing he says when he greets me is that I'm huge

>go and sit next to two girls who were eager to talk, but sadly my social anxiety killed the conversation

That last one is the story of my life. Every conversation with a girl bleeds out after 5mins because I'm so god damn uncomfortable

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>>42152697
>Maybe I should go to the grocery store more for motivation?
grocery stores are great places to learn how to become comfortable making small talk.
Bonus when the cashier girls are qts

>>42166613
There is no way that's real. It's just so idealized.

>>42142309
Depends on whether or not they're actually autistic or just shy and anxious from being fat their entire adult lives.

>>42164735
It's a rig for dabs faggot

>>42147257
@%%@%%#)
#)
#)@%%#)

>>42147257
[alt-255] [alt-255] [alt-30] [enter] [alt 30] [alt 255] [alt 30]

>>42147257

▲
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>At beach, started lifting late December 2015
>Run into one of my older sisters friends, she's 22-23 and hadn't seen me in about a year
>First words out of her mouth were "oh my god anon your so big"
>Feels fucking good lads.
&
>Same day, running on the beach listening to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjwGnix8Vsk
>Totally in the zone but I heard several catcalls from groups of groups of grills and one was waving
>Ignore them and keep running because muh time

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>>42152517
I want to buy you a drink

>>42147257

hey look
>>42155771
>>42162612
>>42163599
>>42165124
>>42147257
>>42165691
>>42168421
hahahahaha

> Office qt asks me in private how I became so ripped.
> Later find out some beta cuck put her up to it because he was too scared to ask me in person because muscles = aggressive personality.

Another:
> fuck a friend's GF's friend.
> was later told that she doesn't like my personality, but I have a sexy body.

Feels pretty OK.

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>>42141912
I guess I'll go

>Recently get a landscaping job over the Summer. I start cleaning up my diet around the same time.
>Go to local college dive bar/taco shop for food to catch up with friend in a tank top. Girls checking me out, and one starts flirting with me and buys me a drink.
>Go to pool with some dyel bros. They constantly comment about how big my arms are, asking me to flex and shit.

Just need to improve my shit chest and I'll be looking pretty good.

>getting 'mires from girls i work with
>like my job so ignore them, don't shit where you eat
>ignoring them only makes them want you more
>tfw the girls you actually like don't like you because you like them
>tfw havent gotten laid in years and can easily lay one of my coworkers
>tfw it would ruin my job

life is suffering

>>42168631
Also, I'm pretty dyel by /fit/ standards, but seem fit to normies

>tfw no mires
I'm working for them though god damn it

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>>42168721

>at work today
>qt half white/half Mexican bartender asks if i've been working out, tells me my arms look big
>she always pokes me and plays around with me
>other older female co-worker gives her a weird look, probably because everyone knows this girl is married

It's funny because the reason I have this job is because we had a class together and I had a crush on her, so I talked her up a bit, but before I could ask her out she offered me a job. Not gonna shit where I eat though.

Would smash if I ever got the opportunity after I quit that job tho, not gonna lie.

>>42168685
>ruin job
No it wouldn't and getting employed is easy stop pussyfooting around

>>42164735
It's what weed nerds smoke shatter out of.

>>42156242
it's the mom in the mirror that really makes this image

>>42165706
Slap out that fuccn banana hammer and turn that feline into monkey pasta. Put that pussy on the chain wax.

>>42168819
I'm the guy who originally wrote that. Top kek man, I just stuck two random words together, but you sir are an artist.

>>42141980
i'll take Alex for something that didn't happen, 200

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>>42166171
Iktf breh, girls are always eager to talk to me then they realize that I'm shit at keeping up conversation so we'll talk for around 30 seconds before there's agonizing silence. Then they move on. Life is suffering

What's it called when you are good at talking even charismatic when it's just males but when females are involved you just spill that 'tism.
Please help.

>>42169576
Social anxiety, being uncomfortable around women, ...

I have no problems with adressing big crowds (more than 500 people) and giving a nice speech but when I'm around girls I just freeze

>>42169576
I'm better at being goofy and funny with females than I am with males

Am I gay?

>>42143066
Don't do it, she is just waiting for someone to fake rape accuse for feminist street cred

>>42155243
The last one is a stupid joke from Silicon Valley, not sure what the other gibberish means.

Never happened because I have an ugly face so the rest of my body doesn't really count.

>>42150211
we're going to hold anon

>>42170829
Same here, but only because I don't care about their opinions

>about to hit the bar with a good mate i have not seen for a while
>favourite bar was somewhy closed
>group of 3 girls come to us and ask why the bar is closed
>decide to hit the club with mate, girls want to join us
>fast forward till 3am
>mate is lost, but girls are with me
>girls are quite drunk atm
>"wow anon you are in really good shape, can i touch your forearms?"
<"yea whatever"
>suddenly all 3 girls start feeling me in the middle of the bar
>"omg try out his ass and legs, they are perfect"
>they feel me allaround the body for a solid 15min
>see my gf's friends and she noticed me
>oh fuck gtg
>"where are you going anon?"
>"gotta take a piss"
>head back to my gf's apartment
>tell her a story i was violated by three hookers in a bar
>her friend told my gf what happened the other day but i was faster
>dodged a bullet

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>>42152797
>I bet he fucks

>>42171734
You're one keen motherfucker

>>42154902
I like this

>>42168819
HE PUT THE PUSSY ON THE CHAIN WAX

>work in shopping mall
>in a kiosk
>closing one night, see security guards running past me
>after work me and qt3.4 from another shop ask guards what happened
>apparently a fight had started because somebody had threatened a girl at another kiosk
>qt3.4 says "if anybody ever threatened me id yell for Anon, he's usually the buffest guy here"

feels good desu

>>42168800
>weed nerds
made me kek

>>42162468
n-no homo

>>42170829
I like hanging out with chicks more because they're usually nicer and make me food. But I was bullied by guys when I was younger and that might have something to do with it.
>conservative chicks are the best

>>42147257

▲
▲▲

NAILED it

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>>42147378
when you realize that people don't talk like that.

when you realize that, "when you realize" is meant for humorous pictures, not verbal communication.

when you realize that, "when you realize" has been beaten to a pulp even in meme land.

>>42141985
This is super true, people found me annoying when I was a stick man and now they think I'm quirky and hilarious. Didn't change anything about my personality, people just like you more when you have muscles.

>>42154857
Oh man. Thank you for that image.

>>42143488
Having cool grandparents is great.
But if they can't have that at least they'll have a cool /fit/ dad.
Thanks for the post.

>>42142673
Pretty humorous, senpai.

>>42174527
Cheers
Tbh, I'm really fucking scared about having kids, it's a huge responsibility, both financially and emotionally; plus there's all the baby and small kid shit I hate, but I also really look forward to the good times, I want my kids to have the home life me and my wife couldn't have.
I also look forward to being the /fit/ granddad, and being there for my grandchildren growing up.

I don't want them to grow up without grandparents like I did.

The years I had with my pop were really special to me, especially nowadays when I've learned so much more about the man he was.
I want to be that person to someone.

i like what i see in the mirror. does that count?

>>42174673
That's honestly the most elusive mire.

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>>42174699

>>42163667
1. Technically, that's what your wife is supposed to do, no matter what.
2. Realistically, when she does this, it means she's looking for a compliment.

t. also a married anon who's had arguments over this shit that ended up with cops getting called.

>>42143209
*heart snaps*

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>>42141912

> used to be a horribly fat Anon in banking, overworked, pulling 5/10 girls, drinking hard
> in 2008 quit job, applied to .gov
> .gov office is in same tower as old bank
> bankers still think I work for the bank
> now mil-fit
> trading girls randomly rub my back in the elevator and ask if I'm going to deal meetings
> new co-workers get jelly as 8/10 girls in pencil skirts feel my back and giggle in the elevator ride.
>
> Feels good man.
>

>>42174823
Doesn't sound like a marriage, sounds like a hostage situation.

I compliment her probably once or twice a day, and I'm genuine about it, I also let her know when she needs to fix something.
Honesty is an incredibly powerful thing in marriage.
It makes a lot of arguments pointless because when you understand the intentions and truth of their actions, then it's a lot easier to come to an agreement.

But a compliment from your spouse, that is entirely truthful is worth a million from anyone else.
If that's not the case for you, something is broken.

>>42174825
Go hug your grandmother anon.

>>42160700
>take a dump in her toilet when she's asleep and dont flush. She will wake up to a nice brownie breakfast
Wtf is WRONG with you?

>>42146253
youre so fucking dumb that you believe that a dude is bragging about gamestop mires, a fidget spinner mire, and a fucking dab rig mire. youre just a complete floor shitting retard. clean up your desk, take a shower, and a read a fucking book because you must have the iq of a 10 year old.

>>42152697
>making them bag your milk
when i worked in a grocery store i always hated the people that wanted their milk bagged

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>be me
>at friend's party
>ex is there with her new boyfriend
>it's been a year and a half since she's seen me, and I started lifting when we broke up
>she does like a shot of vodka
>"omg so drunk rn"
>she feels my muscles and comments that I've gotten so big and strong while her new bf watches

>pic related

>>42175148
>>she feels my muscles and comments that I've gotten so big and strong while her new bf watches
You're getting shot or stabbed in the near future.

>>42163667
Fuck yeah.

>>42175179
Nah nigga, this was a couple months ago, besides, he's some dyel hapa

>>42175198
okay. But dyel's can still fire guns,i think?

>>42147257
▲
▲ ▲

>>42174987
Shoo shoo reddit

>>42173307
>qt3.4

>>42152697
>>42175146
>milk isn't in a bag before going through the checkout
what? how do you carry the milk without a bag? How can you be sure you have exactly a gallon when you have to bring loose uncontained milk up the the cash? milk is supposed to leave the dairy farm in bags.

>>42175621
its called the u.s.a.

>>42150193
Show pics

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>>42142613
this shit brought me into this thread, hoped there will be more gold like this.

>>42175229
If they can lift them, hold them up, aim, and pull the trigger without falling over. And typically dyels tend to not like guns. Depends on the area though

bump limit?

>>42175229
If I get shot I'll post about it here lol

>>42152543
>not just using SHOWRACEMENU to change gender
confirmed for notgonnagetasuccessfulsexualharassmentclaimandalsotransphobiaclaim/10

>>42167186
>account name
>Shitlord
>in my ONE experience
low tier bait