Most autistic things you've done at the gym:

>>42030499
and what did she do?

This thread will die the same way you will:

alone.

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>>42030578
Not if I have something to say about it edgelord.

Bump for interest, and I'm new here.

>>42030499
That's fucking WHOLESOME
Thank you for sharing OP

>>42030499
There's a really prettt regular at my gym. We've had a total of three interactions and each of them were autistic. First two were her asking me if I was using a piece of equipment and I just sort of grunted that I wasn't using it because I had headphones in. Third time was her walking into a room I was in and I just suddenly pulled out my earbuds and asked "did you say something?"

I got that good-looking but socially autistic thing going on

>>42030499
Everything I do is autistic but I've been lifting for 8 years so I'm pretty huge so they think it's some good workout.

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>>42030499
I fell asleep on a bench before

talked about it yesterday
used to hang out at petsmart after gym but got banned because hamster gladiator arenas got out of hand

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>>42030499

I judge people who take group selfies in the gym, when they are obviously casuals.

>>42030682
>did you say something?
Is this better than "are you working out?"

>one free adjustable bench in gym near cages
>no one's using it
>with gym bud, he's doing leg stuff, i'm finished
>figure i'm going to go grab the bench and bust out a few DB bench sets while i wait
>lift bench, it's heavier than initially thought
>smack shin with part of it
>let out a 'OWEE'
>everyone in area looks over
>crab walk it over to the squat rack with friend
>realize I have no DB's
>grab two 35 plates instead
>bust out 2 sets of 35 lbs plate bench
>we leave the area with bench there
>some middle aged dude begins benching in the squat rack

it looked and felt a lot more autistic than i can greentext

>>42030697
I've seen old people do this, they also do it on bicycles.

>>42030713
Only fat people and DYELs take gym selfies
Chad doesn't take selfies because everyone already knows he's alpha

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>>42030499
>around 2 years ago
>lying back with the ez bar about to do skullcrushers
>accidentally farted on some high school girls by the db rack
>try to play it off by saying "what was that?"

I didn't go back for 3 months

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I've only been lifting for about a year in my local leisure center in the nearby hotel, so haven't really had the opportunity to commit any atrocities yet.

Aaand still don't have confidence to approach the one of three hot chicks that frequent soooo, nothing yet.

>>42030750
>Aaand still don't have confidence to approach the one of three hot chicks that frequent soooo, nothing yet.

Don't be a twat. They're there to work out and not to talk to your ugly ass.

I once slapped my ex-gf's ass with a tortilla

>>42030729
>benching in my squat rack
Better than curling in the squat rack

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I was using pic related, some dude came over to see if we could take turns on the machine, once i finished the exercise my legs are all crumbly, My leg tangle with the machine leg bar and then i fall to the floor in front of everyone. :(

No one laughed tho, and the guy ask me if i was okay, so i didn't feel so awkward about it but still..

>decide it'd be funny to troll a big guy at the gym

>ask him for a spot on bench

>how much you want?

>put some tens on that bitch (65lbs)

>really? Lie to him and say I had a car wreck and fucked myself up real bad

>get under bench, ask for lift off

>whoooo, whoo, light weight, whoooo

>immediately slam it onto my chest while yelling and kicking "get it get it!

>he's trying to pull the weight off, but I'm rowing it back onto my body, we're caught in a epic battle of tug o war

>he finally gets it

>get up panting, " man that was heavy! buddies shitting there pants laughing

>buddy asked how I did, guy says I have potential

>next day guy walks in on me benching 225 for reps, rages hard

>worth it

Not the most, but most recent.

>girl snaps a pic with an ample bosom
>you know how snapchat works, shits gone in five seconds
>screenshot
>it fucking notifies her that I took a screenshot
>"I'm not gonna try to make an excuse, you know why I took a screenshot"

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>>42030915

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>>42030915

>>42030682
Not autistic, that's pretty regular social screw ups. Guarantee she doesn't even remember it bro.

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>>42030915
heh you did good bro

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>>42030915
Y tho?

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>>42030915

>>42030729
fucking kek anon, thanks for the laugh
>>42030936
alpha af

>>42030936
That's not really cringe unless it was about something completely unrelated. I made a point of replaying a pic some girl sent me with her in a bra.

I always walk around people to get to my dumbells, because I do not want to get in front of people while they are doing their reps.

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>me
>first day in gym
>12 am just 2 people me a woman and a female receptionist 8/10qt
>was chatting her up and hitting on her a little bit
>didnt want to be too aggressive figuring I'd be seeing her a lot from now on
>oh boy.mov
>just got out of high school and was a football player so figured was fairly strong
>load up 1p8 bench planning to warm up
>get it off bar and realize it's more than expected
>did about 3 reps (struggling)
> go down for 4th rep
>hit chest
>cant get it off chest
>shit
>look around while struggling to keep it off my rib cage
>only person in sight is a woman in her 50's on the bike
>yell for her to come help
>she comes barely gets it off my chest about 3 inches with all her might and mine
>(this is going on for a minute at this point)
>the receptionist hears the grunting and "what do you want me to do" from across gym
>runs over
>qt 8/10 cardio bunny, not very strong.
>get it off my chest about halfway and I start pushing it up with their help
>we are all tired and it got stuck 3/4 of the way
>receptonist says she's going to take the weights off
>this has been going on for a good 2 minutes
>let's go all of a sudden
>both I and the older lady's arms fail
>falls on my chest
>scream in pain
>she finally gets weights off
> I roll off the bench and crawl on the ground
>they call 911
>take me to the hospital
>got a cracked rib

Still, goto that gym but needless to say I still hear shit about it from her when I come in.

>>42030499

Done the same thing lmao. No one noticed and I took like 3 pictures

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>>42031092
How are you so weak if you played football? When I played football everyone could bench at least 2pl8 and squat at least 3pl8. Was it a U15 team or are you just a massive pussy?

>>42031092
Hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaahahahaha
That is the most hilarious gym story I have ever fucking heard

>>42031092
what does she say?

>>42031016

Eh, done fapped for the 9th time that day, had to do something for entertainment

>>42031118
I was a wide receiver, fast and fairly small (5'10 145lbs)compared to other players. After football season (senior year) I just sat around and played video games. so 6months of sitting on my ass and being smaller than other people fucked me up

>>42031157
Out of curiosity, what are your stats now?

>>42031144
"you ain't gonna bench press are you?"
"need a spot"
"The bench's are out of order tonight"
"Jasons(gym owner) here tonight if you need help"

>>42031083
i feel bad when theyre in front of the mirror like if i block their view for even .5 seconds i'll fuck their form up

i'm retardo

>>42031185
I just hit 1/2/3.5/4.5 last week. That happened over 3 years ago

>>42030936
That's normal

>>42031194
haha kinda funny desu

>>42031208
I also try not get very close to people because i dont want to fuck their form up either

>>42031222
yeah we laugh about it now, but when I got back in the gym she treated me like a baby (coming over to check on my a lot and getting someone to spot me when was un needed) that went on for about a month

>>42031213
Grats on the recovery anon, keep it up mang

>be in highchool lifting class
>already read sticky on /fit/
>Think i know everything there is to know about lifting and strength training
>"correct" the teacher at least 3 times a class
>smug as fuck
>i would put notes on questions in her tests correcting her questions because i thought she was stupid
>could squat like 185 for 3 reps
>benching less than 1plate
cringe everytime i think about it
on the bright side some frosh girl wanted to fuck because she thouhgt i was cool for being a dick to the teacher

>>42031244
is she really cute?
do you banged?

>playing laser tag with a group from school
>for some reason keep tagging this one girl
>tag her
>"why are you preying on me :> ?"
>she seemed pretty flirtatious now that I think back
>reply "because you are so slow"
>her sensor vest or whatever has rebooted
>tag her again
>run off

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>>42031286
very, I'd like to believe if that didn't happen I would have had a shot because she's been single for over a year.
>pic not her but pretty close

>>42031092
What the fuck, you almost got killed by 1pl8?

>>42031347
not almost killed, just broke a rib, pain, and embarrassment

>>42031284
What kind of things would you "correct?" Any examples?
>>42031289
kek

was doing skullcrushers without clips on with baby weight. the barbell hit my forehead then the plates slid off and smashed my phone

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>>42031514
kek

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>>42030682
>did you say something?
I seriously lold

>>42031386
But it's just 60 kg. Back when I was auschwitz mode I got pinned under 1pl8 bench and just roll of shamed out of there, it's not hard because 60kg is very little, even if you can't bench press it.
You must have been extremely weak.

>>42031565
He might have had on clips, Being new he prob did not know he could roll off. Still, should have done something of the sorts

>>42030737
Oh my god I'm dying

>>42031289
Jesus christ lolll

i was training for a half marathon on the treadmill with my headphones in. a staffer had to tap me on the shoulder and shout to inform me that multiple people were complaining about the "strong pussy odor" coming from me and that i'd have to stop to douche in the bathroom or leave. i borrowed some lady's douche and continued because i had to finish the run, but it was really awkward and when i was leaving a kid said to me in a mocking tone "it wasn't any better, just more flowery."

>>42031611
"strong pussy odor" "borrowed a woman's douche"
"a kid said to me"
BS

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>>42031611
Is you grill or of the smashings the puzzy?

>>42031629
exactly, BS. Bagina Stinkin'

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>>42030499
>Be me
>dead lifting
>see this cute girl I had a crush on in high school
>its been like 6 years since I graduated
>She looks amazing
>found out that she has a good job at the hospital
>I'm still a clueless fuck who dropped out of school and still lives at home while working a shit job I hate and constantly think about killing myself everyday


>I begin my set
>want to impress her and let her know I'm pretty strong for a skelly
>put up 250lbs on the bar
>she sees me and smiles
>start to lift the bar
>I make a weird face because I was lifting "heavy" weights
>fucking looked like I was sitting my pants while cumming and crying
>her smile goes away
>she walks away
>drop the weights
>make a huge sound, so everyone in the whole room looks at me
>High school aspie feels come back
>I just end up leaving


WHY AM I LIKE THIS

Drank out of the water fountain

>>42031289
lmao

>>42031898
KEK fucking loser

>>42031894
Because you're a loser

>>42031092
How did you get injured from 1pl8 just fucking submit and roll of shame

>>42030733
>implying a chad is alpha

Not me but went to gym today. And this guy on stepping machine could not stop burping. He continued this through his entire time on the machine for 30 minutes.

Didn't know any better it seemed like a set up for some tv show.

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5 - 6 reps for ass hypertrophy

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>>42030767
Is that you Linkara?

>>42030733
only fags take selfies in the first place

social media is like vidya but for females. makes them feel good but makes them look like total losers to people who dont like it themselves

>>42031083
That's not Autistic, that's just polite and normal.

Thinking it might be Autistic however, is Autistic.

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>>42030701
Never change anon. <3

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>>42031083
Seems more like gym etiquette than autism to me 2bh

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>Go to macas for lunch with bro in highschool
>we walk passed gym and see free sign ups for students
>we decide to go sign up
>bro who's been slowly sipping his macas drink
>he just leaves the drink sitting in the garden on the side of the main road
>we go in sign up, do a quick workout,leave
>while leaving the bro just picks his drink up from the bush like its nothing
>he just keeps sipping and I lose my shit
>he argues with me that no ones going to go up to a random macas drink to fuck with it
>I sperg out and slap it on the ground
>bro genuinely pissed at me and goes off home

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>>42032275
>implying you weren't the one who caused the altercation and for no reason ruined a mans drink he payed for
Youre a cunt and your friend was right

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>>42032315
Payed

>>42032315

I was saying the most autistic thing I've done in a gym and that I sperged out and sent a friend home.

You can't just reword the key point of my post as if its some kind of zing

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>>42030891
Don't use pic related. It places the shear force at the top of the exercise. This is an unnatural stress on the ACL and will slowly breakdown the ligament until it rips or breaks under tension. Something like a squat or deadlift puts it at the bottom where body evolved to endure the stresses.

>>42031570
Not who you're replying to but I've roll of shamed out of benchpress, in a power rack, with clips on. You just roll it down to your hips, then sit up and pull your legs back so the bar falls onto the bench.
It's not fun but it's better than sitting under the bar waiting for help. I use a spotter now.

>>42031083
it bothers me that it bothers others when i get in front of them while they looking in the mirror. why do ppl like looking at themselves??

>>42032445
without a mirror I am constantly paranoid that I am lifting asymmetrically

>>42031092
>cracked rib from 1 plate
TOP KEK

>>42032445
i autistically form check

>>42031502
I ripped on the teacher for having us do A/B/x/A/B/x/x routine with x being the rest days. i legitimately thought and told her that the only way to make gains is 3 days a week with 4 rest days.

told her 1 gram /1 lb bodyweight was the minimum necessary

said squats and deadlifts will make your shoulders and arm biggers because of test boost

literally every day i would tell her some stupid shit in my smug teenage way. Just imagine a 6 month lifting DYEL on /fit/ telling seasoned lifters all the stupid shit DYELs say on here

>>42030499
That's not autistic, it's sad and pathetic.

>>42030697
This amuses me

>>42030701
This wouldn't be funny even if it actually happened

>>42031092
I don't understand why you wouldn't roll it off. I bench 125kg and if I ever fail I have no problems rolling it, so 1 pl8 is a joke to roll

>>42031289
Give examples of what he should have said here. I would be awkward as fuck in that situation.

>>42030733
DYEL's?? what that mean?

>>42032701
He should have flirted with her dummy, she was coming on to him.

>>42032701
just look disgusted and say "huh?? fuck off cunt." sounds mean but you have to be tough with bullies or they'll keep flirting.

>>42031894
the real secret is that none of it matters, let it all go

only then will you become stronger

>>42032706
>spotted the dyel
you work out but you dont look like it

>>42030499
>I took a picture of a chicks ass on the stair stepper and my flash was on
post the pic, faggot

>>42030737
funniest one so far lol

>>42032954
sorry bro, can't. the pic has a restrictor plate attached that won't let me post it to people who call me hurtful names. i think there's a backdoor to get around the restriction in case of apology though...

>>42033173
fuck you nigger

>>42033182
i don't think it's working man!! try something a little nicer!

>>42033224
You're a dickhead?

>>42031284
how old were you?

>>42030713
Spic girls are disgusting.

>>42030737
my love handles disappear tanks anon

>>42030936
>not owning two phones to take an actual picture of the snap

>>42032341
I can and I will

>>42031092
nigga wtf

have you ever heard of the roll of shame?

practice this for 5 x 5

best thing is you don't even need a spot

>>42031289
LOL

gmfu

>>42030499
Not at the gym but pretty autistic. Was getting coffee at drivethrough

Cashier Lady: "cream with your americano?".

Me: No thanks

*Cashier lady leaves to go get something from back.

Girl making Americano: "Cream with the americano babe?"

Me: No

Girl making Americano: *Looks at me awkwardly. "Ok"

Me: *Realize that she was talking to cashier. Drive off without my coffee

Making me relive this /fit/...

Back in college some cute French girl (I'm American) was smiling at me during our workouts at the apartment gym. She finished and came up to me and asked if I wanted to join her in the hot tub when I was finished. I just kind of rolled my eyes at her and said probably not. She was disappointed and left. I think she was just there for the summer because I never saw her again.

I've gotten better, have a gf now. But I just don't understand why I did that.

>>42032706
S U M M E R F A G
U
M
M
E
R
F
A
G

>>42032701
>>42032712
>>42032721

No no no, her specific use of the word "preying" means that she wanted him to invite her to his church group. Should've given that chick the word of the lawd

>>42032354
It's a single joint/isolation movement. You're not meant to go heavy on it, which is what will cause damage to your ACL.

>>42032245
>Linkara

Now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time. How's he related to this?

>>42030737
>"what was that?"
YES

>>42032701
"Maybe I don't wanna let you out of my sights?" or something else clever

>>42030682
>"did you say something?"
>not asking "what'd you call me?"

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>>42034342

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>be 17 or 18 at the time
>was lifting on a little Wal-Mart bench
>parents saw the initiative so got me a membership at a decent local gym
>went in there a couple days later
>"h-hi first timer h-here..
>"Oh great! Welcome! We can give you a tour!"
>"s-sure why not, heh heh"
>"This is where we keep our treadmills!"
>no shit lady
>"This is where we keep our free weights!"
>started to realize my mistake
>"This is our zumba classroom you should stop by on Wednesdays!"
>"O-oh y-yeah I sure will, it all seems pretty straight forward I think I'll take it from here"
>Then I was standing there alone
>And everything I knew about lifting went out the window
>I ran a mile
>Then did some chest flys
>Then did some abs
>Then did a max bench
>Then kicked the fake karate human a couple times
>Then did some curl machine
>Then looked in the mirror for three minutes and realized how fucking jacked I just made myself and left

>>42034300

It's a meme. He act's like an autist irl, just inserts himself into conversations and consistently goes HMMMMMM! Some guy was working production for one of those shitty movies they made. Apparently, it was a nightmare but one of the standouts was him hitting/hooking up with some chick. Linkara overheard him talking about it and said that wasn't very respectful or some beta nu male thing to say about women's honor.

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>>42034184
Im speechless anon

>>42030723

"Feeling fit, buddy?"

>>42033182
Sorry!

>>42030499
thats fucking alpha mate

>>42031139
>>42031107
What the fuck is going on. Or have i forgotten what summer is like here? Christ.

if you continue to lift but never eat an excess amount of calories what will happen?

>>42031194
listen! next time you see her you say "can you spot me?" when she asks which lift do you want to do you say "nah not yet, later, when i go to (bar near you) i need you to spot me. when should i pick you up?"

then you bang her and everything is fine

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>>42034300
>>42034436

Found it.

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>>42030915
>big guy
>can't lift 65lbs+140lbs dyel

>>42034350
actually laughed

>drink black coffee before workout
>go to gym and start warming up
>warm up with deadlift
>feel a fart, think I can let a silent one out
>full blown shart
>run to bathroom
>underwear full of shit and there's a stain on my white pants
>take off my shirt and put it in the back of my pants so it covers my ass
>walk out the gym while everyone stares

>>42031092
These are the people who say
>bro you don't even need weights just play sports

>>42030697
I've done this more than once. I used to go right after work cause my work and gym were pretty close, but my house was like 40 minutes away. And I didn't wanna drive to work, to home, to gym, to home again. Thankfully nobody ever said anything but there were a shit ton of people in there one time. Was embarrassed for a long time after but now I just laugh about it.

>>42034425
>fake karate human

why do I think of a white guy impersonating an asian

>>42035167
Because you're a racist

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>>42031092
If by "football" you meant soccer it's understandable.

>decided to do pull-ups
>wasn't paying attention and missed grabbing the bar when I jumped
>almost fell on my ass if I reacted slower
Being a manlet truly is suffering

>>42030499

>>42031244
Yeah i think this is the "pls boner" act. Unwell played.

>>42034878
I ALWAYS make sure to take a shit after I drink coffee before going anywhere because of exactly this reason. If I don't have time to wait for a shit, I don't drink coffee.

>>42030713

People who go to the gym regularly don't usually take selfies. That's like taking a selfie of your morning commute.

>>42034350

>not screaming it and throwing the barbell at her

>>42030936
>Not recording the Snap using Telecene, then just capping the video later, undetected.

I was walking out of the gym one day, having just finished with my workout.

>highschool crush from over 5 years ago walks by
>i'd lost about 120lbs by then and looked very different from my highschool years
>start chatting
>she says something like "we should meet for coffee" and hands me her phone with her contact page open
>continue speaking, about 30 seconds later ask her
>"wait, why did you give me your phone again?"
>"to put your number in, anon"
>she laughs and ends the conversation
>never hear from or see her again


Ah well

>>42031083

How much pleasure does it give you to think there might be some gullible autist out there that actually starts doing this?

>picked up wrong guys towel
>used it for 30 minutes
>guy says, hey you've been using my towel
>autistically turn red
>been wiping my body with the sweat of another man all session
>hand it back
>"well I'm not got gonna use it now" he laughs
>hehe y-you too
>I just walk out the gym

>>42030915
why do you post these fake reddit stories?

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>>42035714

>>42031386
I homegym but this was back when I was living at home. One time decline benching 90kg (normally did 80) I started to fail. My stepdad set his gym up in a cuckshed out the backyard, so I had no chance of anyone coming to my aid. After about a minute of fighting this fucking thing, things became extremely desperate. I slowly let it down on my chest, tucked my legs behind that padded foot bar thing at the end of the bench and began to sit up with all my might. My abs felt like they were ripping, the bar was digging and sliding down my torso, back was about to give out and to my surprise, performed a 90kg barbell sit up to save my life.

>>42031894
Groaning in pain is fucking normal if you train it means you actually doing something I always breath very loud for example and I don't give a fuck

>>42034497
Been here for 7 years you nigger. Does that in your mind mean I'm not allowed to find things funny anymore? Don't be such a jaded fuck

>>42031092
>people think this is real
This board is so gullible.
No one cracks his rig cage by having less than 1 pl8 drop onto his chest from a 3/4th bench ROM height.
The weight would have been reduced by two people resiting it, so it would end up being like 40kg.

And then, even if I as a 10 year old kid, he would manage to spot 1pl8 up together with me.
Thinking that 3 people, no matter how weak, would struggle to get 1 pl8 up, is simply ridiculous.

There is a 0% chance that this story actually happened.

>>42036053
The whole story makes no sense. Even a weakling girl spotter would be able to pull the 60kg up if the weakling beta male is pressing it up at the same time.

>>42036070
Exactly.

>someone asks you "are you using this?"
>you didn't understand the question clearly but got the idea
>answer "yes" assuming they asked "are you done here?" or something of the sort

>someone asks you "are you done here?"
>you didn't understand the question clearly but got the idea
>answer "no" assuming they asked "are you using this?" or something of the sort

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>>42036220
Sorry about the absurdly large photo, this one is better

>>42030499
qt using the row machine. Tired and mistake the peg for the weights as a tree and take the weight off while shes resting.

>"uh Im using that.."
>realize my mistake
>laugh, put it back and get another weight

Her laugh was probably insincere

>>42030499
The most autistic thing I've done at the gym was going to the gym.

>>42033173
i hope summer never ends

>>42034501
you cancel yourself out

>>42034878
Always have your morning/preworkout shit anon, get it all out.

>be gym rookie
>get to gym and want to warm up with bench press
>other gym rookie is uaing the only power rack available
>i drag a bench into the squat rack and start benching
>staff member comes over and asks us both if we were just fooling around
>we both look confused and ashamed
>he tells us to switch places

>>42036053
A 60kg bar dropping from arms length onto a rib would break it easily. From the story it sounds like he'd struggled to the point where he had absolutely 0 strength left so it's not unlikely that arms would just fail if the only person actually supporting the weight just immediately dropped it. The old woman probably also just completely dropped it as soon as the girl let go. Even if the story is fake it still makes perfect sense you armchair detective.

>>42030936
You can get an app that will take a screen without notifying them. Then some girls think you are to dumb to screen shot and will send nudes thinking they will be destroyed soon.

>>42036212
This is why I just say "It's free".

>always go to the gym around 10pm
>cute girl with a thicc booty usually working out at the same time
>try to devise a way to talk to her after eons of just glancing at her and making the odd eye contact
>lightbulb.png
>as she starts to leave one night I walk up behind her and tap her on the shoulder
>she turns around and is quite surprised/weirded out
>hold my own gym card out to her and ask her if she dropped it down stairs
>"uuhhh no I've got mine right here"
>oh haha must be someone else's. Good workout though?
>awkward small talk ensues for a couple minutes
>as we both decide to leave the gym she stops and says "shouldn't you leave that card at the desk so staff can return it to the owner?"
>oh haha y-yeah I guess
>watches me as I stand there not wanting to leave my card behind
>"what are you waiting for anon?"
>can't deal with the pressure and just drop my card at the desk and exit the gym with her
>she says good night and that she might see me tomorrow night at the gym again
>I'm effectively locked out of the gym until the weekend because I'm stuck at work during gym staffed hours and can't get my card back

what the fuck is wrong with me? What do I say when I finally see her after a week?

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>>42031092
>1pl8
>can't do atleast 10 reps
Were you the fucking kicker or some shit?

>>42034456
I guess I'm just a lucky guy

>>42036598
Lmao you just got cucked. Should have said something like you were gonna hold onto the card so it isn't lost and you'd come back later. Stupid nigga

>>42036598
She obviously did that just to fuck with you.

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>>42036598
You should've said, that it's your gym card and you just used it as an excuse to talk to her.

Now what you should do, IF she asks you where you've been, is to say that it was actually your gym card and you used it as an excuse to talk to her.

You can't lie your way out of this.

>>42036598
Tell her the truth, thank me later.

>>42034217
N A M E F A G
A
M
E
F
A
G

>>42030767
If women didn't want to be hit on they would just stay home.

>>42031289
lmao fuckin btfo that little bitch

>>42037155
>if someone goes outside it automatically means they wanna fuck
hmmmmm

>>42031092
>cracked rib
Bs. I once dropped 200lbs on my chest and nothing happened.
Drink sum milk boi

>>42030915
there

>>42031157
>wide receiver
>145 lbs
Calling bullshit, any half-respectable corner or outside LB would fuck your shit up 100% of the time. The smallest WRs on my high school team were 175, and we sucked.

>>42030713
Funny how to chubby one is crying like shes had enough.

the first time I used the lat pulldown I wasn't sitting on it I was like moving up and down on it. Like sitting and then standing up for like reps.

There's someone sitting in the squat rack doing overhead press once every 3-5 mins. Absolutely raging

>>42036758
>being THAT guy

dont listen to this fag anon

>>42032409
Why the fuck do you waste a power rack if you can't even set the safety bars correctly?

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>>42030499

That's not autistic, that's just being a sad, creepy cunt.

Autistic would be scoring, categorizing and filing thousands of creep shots.

>>42036417
How is it arms length if it's not even locked out?
It's less than arms length.

40kg dropping onto your chest, being decided every in weight across the entirety of it (because of the bar) will certainly not hurt it in any way.

Three people struggling with a 60kg bar is not a thing.

>be 15 year old skinny faggot
>go to school weight room after school with best friend who goes all the time
>one of my first times ever working out, my knowledge of lifts was pushups and bicep curls
>end of workout my friend tells me to do abs
>puts me into plank position
>puts a rubber 25lb plate on my lower back
>tells me to hold plank position and hump the ground
>wtf?
>"Yeah dude, thats the exercise, kind of weird I know but its just how to do it, its no big deal man, just dont be immature you know?"
>Spend the next ten minutes doing sets of humping planks, like full blown balls to the floor thrusts
>why dont you do it?
>"I did them yesterday, its not good to work the same body part two days in a row."
>My grunting has attacted the attention of everybody in there, people are staring at me, I hear laughing
>"Jerks, they are laughing because that isnt a lot of weight, dont worry man you'll get there, we all start somewhere etc etc..."
>Friend never breaks character the whole time
>Next day different friend comes up to me laughing his ass off and shows me video of me humping the ground. Evidently one of his friends was one of the people in the gym that day and filmed it.
>Tell him its a real exercise
>He promises me its not
>Confront best friend
>He laughs his ass off
>Rage hard
>Hes still my best friend

>>42037191
No, just women.

>>42037332
I literally do my entire sl routine from the only squat rack in my gym just to piss people like you off.

>>42037356
>Three people struggling with a 60kg bar is not a thing.
Don't underestimate the weakness of women. I could see this happening if I was already completely exhausted and failed a rep.

>>42030499
There were like 6 dumb bell benches, I was one one end. A guy came and took the one right next to me, without even leaving one free bench besides me. I was extremely upset by this and moved to the last bench on the other side.

He actually was hot enough for me to swap squat plugs with him but I guess I messed up my chance.

>first year of gym
>going for 95kg pr on bench
>too awkward to ask for spot
>bars loaded all the way down to 2.5kg pl8s
>attempt lift
>cant push it more than an inch off my chest
>still too awkward to ask for help
>decide to tip weight in nearlyy full weight room
>everyones looking at me
>pt's are running over to see if im alright
>one of the most embarrassing moments ever


>at another gym
>a week earlier had asked guy for spot on bench
>see him again while im doing rows in the power rack
>ask if he wants to work in
>he talks really quietly so i dont hear his answer
>ask something like "are you sure?"
>reluctantly say "ok" and walks off
>start my set
>he come back with a bench
>as i finish my set he puts bench into power rack and strips weight off bar
>he then goes to bench
>after his set he removes bench and put weight back on the bar
>i found it pretty funny so i was happy to keep moving the bench in and out of the power rack until i finished my sets even though it looked retarded

i got other stories but i just kinda find them funny now

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>>42030915

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>arm day
>in locker room, got a good pump going on
>ayy, this would look great for my cbt posts
>decide for some greek statue-pose
>in nothing but towel around my hips
>person walks in
>there's a timer on my phone, which is taking the pic
>stand completely still
>they walk past me with the utmost "wtf" look on their look I've ever seen
>tfw the pic didn't even turn out to be good, so I deleted it

H-He still gives me weird looks when he sees me at the gym.

>>42037802
>arm day
That was all you needed to say

>>42030737
hahahahaha, my man

>>42030891
It's more you feel embarassed than everyone else. If I see someone do that I'm not really amused or anything, it happens

>>42037802
>keeps posing even though someone sees him
That would be kinda alpha actually if you wouldn't be such a pussy about it.

>>42030936
That's gangsta af

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>>42031310
>>42031386
Shoot your fucking shot

>>42034084
HAHAHAHAH, top kek

>>42037155
Ok Ahmed

>>42031289
Alpha as fuck

>>42038868
He's actually right though. Nothing really wrong with it either.

>>42031092
>can't roll of shame with 1pl8
You didn't have to involve anyone if you just knew how to bail a bench properly.

>>42032701
>"I wanted to mark you before anyone else could"
It works better with paint ball.

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>at bar with friends to watch a game
>waitress asks for IDs
>wow you guys look young. I didn't realize 88 was the (legal age) year now. I'm a 75, myself
>well you look good for 75!
>gives me a weird look

>>42038868

That's what you don't like about muslims?

>>42031092
flag football?

>>42030723
kek

>doing squats with 260lbs
>finish 4 reps pretty easy
>go a little to low on the last rep and get pinned
>the kind of fucking idiot I am I try to power through it
>lose balance
>hold on to the bar for dear life for some reason
>crush fingers between barbell and safeties and sprain wrist in the process
>two people had to help take off the barbell and they had to call an ambulance because I started feeling dizzy and hyperventilating after I saw the nail on my middle finger was folded back

I was glad my doctor told me I shouldn't lift for 2-3 weeks, because I was so fucking ashamed and didn't want to show my face anymore. Feels pretty good being one of the strongest squatters in the gym now with 315x5. It's a commercial gym so it's not like there's a lot of competition.

>>42039019
Either you didn't read it quite right, or she was the awkward one.

>>42030737
Laughing like a retard at my desk now

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>>42036053

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>>42030499
>chad friends from back home start taking me to the gym with them
>obviously not as strong as them but I keep up learning different exercises
>"hey anon you want to do box jumps with us, haha"
>set it to 6
>make it the first time
>completely dump on the next attempt
>slip off the corner of the platform, bang my shin and go tumbling into a nearby weight rack
>flail trying to get back to my feet, falling over discs and spaghetti
>random who was doing something nearby asks me if I'm goood
>"y-yeah you too"
Didn't stop me from coming back with them again, but I'm never doing another fucking box jump as long as I live

>>42039201
Either suck my dick or get out of my jacuzzi.

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>>42031514
oh boy

>>42030499
not at the gym but
>working as vet assistant
>doing intake
>hot milf walks in holding a cat
>start to use my standard pickup line "need me to take a look at your pussy?"
>as i'm saying it i notice her young son walking in behind her
>halfway through the pickup line
>brain tells me "oh shit. that's your son."
>mouth combines both thoughts into "i need to look at your son's shit-pussy"

>>42039263
Jenna Marbles dyed her hair black?

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>>42039394
audibly keked

>>42036408
But the power rack is perfectly viable place to squat, so that guy's a fucking faggot for making the other guy move.

What always confuses me are the people who wait for the power cage, then proceed to SQUAT OUTSIDE OF IT

Nigger just step inside its safer for fucking everyone involved if you have fucking safeties.

>>42030723
Oops, that went bananas

I'm 6'0", 185 lbs, 18 year old male. Used to be really fat. Going to start going to the gym next week to do weightlifting.

Should I keep cutting, eat at my TDEE, or eat over it and start bulking?

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>>42037802

LMFAO

>>42039534
Ask in a relevant thread.

>>42036680
>>42036758
>truthcucks

Why would you ever tell the truth to a woman especially one you just met and especially one you just lied to? Three very annoying things happen:

1. She'll expect the truth all the time.
2. Because the first time you spoke was a lie, she'll automatically doubt everything you say and second guess you all the time
3. She'll only accept what she "feels" is true, not what is actually true

Kills any relationship hopes, if you get to the smashing stage, do so and move on.

>>42039534
Cut to 130 fatass

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>>42034184
>he doesn't fuck with succubi that want to steal his mana

you made the right choice anon

>>42035167
because thats most likely what it is

>going for bench Max empty gym
>Ayy that was ez I'll move to 3x5
>Chad rolls in, picks inclined bench right in front of me... Facing me instead of the mirror
>Why
>I act like it's some sort of reverse Mario / boo deal, make sure to never make eye contact
>Final set 4th rep is tough holy shit
>Last rep get halfway up, then start to fail
>PUSH IT !!! From Chad
>Surprise and fright propel the bar back up
>I deload
>Want to go tell him thanks but he's mid set with headphones
>Wait a min
>Get nervous and impatient so I say it while he's still going
>He's finished so I say it again but I'm looking away (wtf is wrong with me?)
>Flee the gym. No idea to this day if he heard me

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>>42030499
>Walk up to a fitness model.
>couple thousand followers
>i follow you on IG youre awesome keep up the good work
>o-oh you follow me on ig?
>um y-yeah is that ok?
>yes... sure

The look of disgust on her face. I unfollowed her afterwards

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>>42034184
This could have been you now anon

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>>42037292
Ubderrated

>>42035684
Would have been funnier if you had put her phone in your pocket

>>42031092
CRACKED RIBS FROM 135 LBS
LLIIGHTTTWEEIGHTT BAAAABBBBYYYY

>>42031289
You should have grabbed her and use her as cover.

>>42038868
I'm pretty sure being hit on is the life energy women feed off of desu

>>42035714
>"hehe y-you too"
>I JUST WALK OUT OF THE GYM
AHAHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA

>>42036598
JUST HAVE HER VISUALLY FUCK YOU WHILE YOU BENCH 6 PL8 FOR REPS M8

>>42037448
GIT GUD FAGGOT

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>>42030737
Lmao, I did nearly the same thing. I was starting my skullcrusher and couldn't keep in the protein farts and nearly shit myself on my last rep. This regular I see hears it through his headphones and glances over at me. I laughed so hard I had to stop for 5 minutes.

>>42039394
wtf my sides r gon rip

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>be in gym alone at 3 am
>doing max bench
>load up more than I can handle
>still a noob so only 1pl8
>mfw I can actually do it
>1 rep, 2 rep
>arms shaking like jello
>3 rep
>pause at the top
>don't think I can do another one
>super excited about new pr
>go down for one more
>arms get half way up
>bar slowly lowers down to my chest
>freak out and shout but there's no one there
>minutes tick by
>make my peace with God and accept my fate

I ended up laying there until 5 am when the next person came in. He basically rowed it off of me like it was nothing. Pic related was how I felt.

>>42037349
Not that kind of power rack. No adjustable safeties. Also, home gym master race faggot.

>>42040326
roll of shame nigga
look up a video on how to get the bar off you

i slapped my girlfriends ass with the foam roller like 4 times last week

>>42034546
Should I know this guy?

>>42040416
Apparently he was internet famous a while ago for a hot second because he did shitty videos on popculture.

>>42032315
(You) are retarded

>>42040451
So the answer is no

>>42040416
He's a minion of the nostalgia critic

I went to the gym in my flip flops, i only realized that i was using them when one of the PTs asked me why i was using them, i came up with a excuse really fast.
i said i hurt my feet playing soccer and it was upper body day

>>42039771
Is this the famous deadlift i've heard so much about?

>>42031194
She wants the D

>>42030578
Everyone dies alone.

t. Livia

>>42033173
This honestly made my day. Thanks for the laugh buddy

>>42034490
Also illegal

>>42030737
I personally know the guy that this meme was created to make fun of. I asked him Bout it and he wouldn't answer lol

Happened yesterday.

>Be me in the parent house for the summer
>State gym nearby, only there for 1 or 2 months
>Has a qt receptionist
>Gym is quite empty, but the olympic pool co-joined is busy af
>She rarely is doing nothing
>But today she is
>After I give her my locker room key, I am looking to strive
>Quick I must think of something to say
>Then I blurt out
>"Would it be okay if I used shampoo in the showers?"
>She looks at me for 2 whole seconds
>As if I asked her if I could have the resident big guy in the shower
>Then she manages to say "Of course, of course you can"
>T-thanks, you too
>Pick up the spaghetti and leave
>Contemplate life as I walk the way home

>>42031208
This isn't autistic, people have done this for me before and it's nice to have people that are polite and aware of their surroundings

>>42032445
Why do you get in front of them just to look at yourself in the mirror? DYELs like you are small and easy to see past so it's not too bad desu

>>42034350
Kekd

>>42032217
greek ?

>>42037332
Maybe that's why they're overhead pressing more than you, yeah?

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>>42030713
>All those havy bags

MUST
NOT
PUNCH
RRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE