>co-workers are talking about diet and exercise

I never take part in these conversations. Normies always contradict me and even if I only talk about the things I'm sure of, their stubbornness and retardation always makes me regret the fact that I wanted to learn them something.

>>41918585
diet and exercise are all subjective, bro, everybody has different tastes in macro ratios and caloric surpluses :^)

They're always spewing about stuff they read on the internet rather than stuff that they actually tried and tested.

Then they tell me I'm wrong when I tell them about what worked for me.

okay, stay fat then

>>41918998
But most normies don't understand CICO and will be quick to provide anecdotal evidence to counter any point you make, even if you are explaining the laws of thermodynamics.

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>>41918986
>>41919002
>not wanting to lose 10 lbs. of pure bodyfat a week by adding cucumber to their water

Every day there is this woman in the breakroom drinking a two liter of soda complaining how she can't lose weight and how she's gonna sue her doctor for bullying her

This is the only person I work with who ever talks about diet or exercise

I work with a fat cunt who is bursting out of her scrubs, like the threads can barely hold on. She posts about losing weight with these goddamn fat fighter pills and will take pics of them next to cheese fries shes about to inhale and post it on social media. She talks about her diet and then will come in with a slice of pizza with gravy for sauce and eat it for breakfast. Wew lad.

>>41918986
This. They always have "thats bad for your [organ]" in their speech

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>I'm on the taco diet
>I'm doing this 4 slices of bread diet!
>I just had a yoplait yogurt
>I don't understand why I'm so fat*eats taco truck burrito

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>>41918585
>break at work
>normans socializing
>brings up exercise
>ears perk up
>they say shit like eating less of the same unhealthy stuff and running every morning
>most pencil thin dyel says you dont need to lift to get abs or arms
>throw away half eaten lunch and punch dents into dumpster

>I have to eat every 2 hours or I'll get fat...I'm going to the vending machine for some hot fries and a coke. You want anything, anon?

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>>41918585

Fuck normies

>co worker says shes trying to lose weight
>see her the next day with in n out

>meet friend in the gym
>hey anon, what muscles are you hitting today?

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>>41918585

>Co-workers are noticing my lifting a lot more since my OHP is finally progressing past 1 pl8 (massive shoulder gains) and I'm on a summer cut
>"Wow anon what are you doing to get such big arms and shoulders?"
>Explain briefly about my diet and lifting, macros, etc.
>"I was thinking about going back to the gym, but I don't want to get big and bulky since guys don't like that"
>This same chick proceeds to down a 20oz soda and a bag of chips for lunch and tell me about how bad squatting is for the knees. She's also the type to drive EVERYWHERE.
>mfw

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>>41920008
I hate everyone in this photo

>>41920008
what mode is this?

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>not infiltrating any committee's that promote health and fitness at work
>not being so suave and knowledgeable about diet/exercise you don't become the head of the committee
It's like you beta's aren't even trying

>>41920607
>being this committed to helping normies make it

>>41919488
>cucumber
Its all about the lime wedges brah that acid mobilise your fat cells

>>41920551
BuzzMode
stop lifting and become an sjw, takes 4-6 weeks

>>41920008

What a collection of wonderfully punchable faces

>>41920607
That's not how you pluralize a word...

>>41919999
>vending machine for some hot fries
What a waste of quads

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>>41918585
ITT elitist /fit/ regulars explain how they refuse to meet casual gym goers halfway to have a somewhat meaningful discussion

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>>41920723
Normies don’t go to the gym. ITT we’re talking about the ridiculous shit fatties and normies say at work about fitness. Either lurk more or go back to plebbit.

>>41920118
Well? What do you say to him? Or are you a dumb, pretentious ""powerlifter"" who thinks brosplits are beneath him?

>>41919828
you have anger issues

>>41919013
This is what bugs me about anyone when discussing something... Using anecdotal evidence to make a point too often bothers me about people

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My coworker, 29 year old hamplanet:
>I went to the gym for a few weeks but started to gain weight, so I stopped. Working out is too hard on my joints anyways.
>me:did (you) change your diet in that time
>I couldn't, healthy food is too expensive for me.

She comes to work work with breakfast and coffee for about 5€, gets another coffee for 1,8€ from the staff canteen later, eats the menu there at noon for 6€ but tosses the salad, gets a 1,5€ slice of cake for dessert and snacks a pack of sweets during the day, another 2€.
Why are people too retarded to see how much money they spend on their shitty diet.

I spend around 250€ a month on food and the people with their 5€ breakfast want to tell me they only need about 150€ a month. Fucking retards RRREEEEEEEEEEEE

it's a shit test to see how alpha you are. roll around in your piss in front of them, then calmly get up and walk away.

>>41920551
Soymode

>>41918585
if I don't know them well or if I've given advice in the past and they discarded it I just agree with whatever they're saying
if they're friends and genuinely interested in learning then I'll tell them to look into calorie restriction and macro management

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>coworker (F-38) starts talking about bullet proof coffee

>hear coworkers talk about the meme-diet of the month
You'd think they'd stop taking dieting advice from headlines they see on their Facebook feeds after failing to see progress after the first one

Why do you all seem to work in office buildings with fat women? Do none of you have a trade?

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>>41918986
>bro I dont want to be fit like you, I just want to get toned

>>41921509
i do space shit.
i make more money than you and do half the work.

>>41921509
Trades are full of fat men who eat fast food at least twice a day and drink a 30 rack of Bud a night. But they usually don't bitch about their weight; doesn't make it any less disgusting to see them though

>>41921509
>do no of you have a trade?
and waste my gains? no thanks.

>hey anon there is some cake upstairs!
>haha thanks!
Or
>oh I already ate thanks though!

>>41921530
You don't know gains till you have fencer forearms, am fencer.
>>41921523
Who gives a fuck, you don't have to be like that.

>"We're going on a 2 week juice cleanse to lose some of the weight we put on over the holidays"

why are people surprised that consuming 800 calories of liquid vegetables and other random shit a day makes you lose weight, when you don't eat anything else along side it?

>co-workers are talking about their DICK hanging LOWER than their BALLS

>i have to eat every couple of hours to keep my metabolism up
>goes to the vending machine before lunch, after lunch, and just before clocking out

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>>41918585
>be at the end of a cut
>10% BF
>discussion with collegues
>"sugar can't make you fat, that makes no sense"

I don't even bother anymore. Even when it's obvious you know your shit and they don't by how you look they STILL spout all kinds of meme-knowledge and refuse to listen.

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>>41918585
>coworker quipped about wanting to put me his sister's old dress and slam my ass, but since I'm autistic and don't want to get in trouble for homo shaming I dunno how to respond besides laughing nervously

>I ignore them
>"Hey anon! You go to the gym, and are ripped! What did you do?"
>get them to install MyFitnessPal, and teach them to use it
>"Is that all?"
>"That's the first step"
>They actually follow it
>A couple of weeks later
>want the next step
>get them to ride a bike regularly
>few weeks later, half of the office is hitting the gym with me and learning the main compounds
>even a few of the hamplanets

I'm actually kinda proud of them

>>41918585
>you should really stop eating that powdered protein, it's not natural.
>how are you not scared of those steroids (creatine)
>Carbs are so bad for you
>You should stop eating so much
>can you make me a workout plan for a better booty
>I'm not gonna do upper body day, i don't want my arms to get big (already has big arms)
>Have you seen my booty gains? (has gained weight and went to the gym twice since last speaking)
>I don't want to do deadlifts and squats they'll make me bulky.


REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>41919002
>not revealing your super secret activated almond salad

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>/fit/ and /pol/
>tfw lunch break at work

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>>41921513
>TONED
HE DARED

>it's a coworkers ask for advice but don't follow/believe it because Dr. Oz or some similar personality talked about some magic 30-day weird trick

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>when the dyel thinks he can do supersets without me taking whatever machine I want
>he says nothing

>>41921693
Wow. That's actually great to hear.

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>>41919825
The taco truck down the street from my apartment has some good ass burritos but I did a caloric breakdown on one one, weighing all the individual ingredients out of curiosity and it had to be at least 800 kcal not counting the lard they cook the beef with. I saw a drunk chick eat three and then subsequently talk about her new diet for two hours.

>>41921667
Only option is to show up in his sister's old dress and slam HIS ass to assert dominance

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>>41921992
>>41921693
He made it. He lived like a mad cunt, and inspired people to lift.
You made it brah...

>>41922012
what mode is stallone?

>>41922021
Stallone rambo 2 is manliness mode.
A mix of /thicc/ and /shredded/ mode, something only him is able to accomplish

>>41920723
>halfway to have a somewhat meaningful discussion
You can't in situations where you are saying something from past/current/regular direct experience and the other person is saying something they read or heard somewhere.

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>>41919013
>invokes muh laws of thermodynamics to bolster the cico meme
>fails to understand cico is actually in violation of the second law of thermodynamics

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>>41918585
>tfw work at a kickboxing gyms and coworkers are chill fitness bros

>>41921509
Because they are effeminate, office dweller, vain "men".
That is why they lift instead of doing a real sport and competing. Nobody can hurt their ego this way, and they get to be the pretty one.

>>41922021
J O O C Y

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>Co-worker comes back from holiday abroad and brings a bunch of sweets/treats
>Offers me some
>Deny and tell him that I'm on a cut at the moment so I'm trying to watch what I eat
>Obese Co-worker steps into the conversation and tells me that if I want to lose weight I shouldn't bother counting calories and should just heavily limit my fat intake and do cardio, adding that I won't be able to lose body fat while weight lifting
>mfw

Whenever I hear some dumb shit yapping about how 'they eat healthy' but can't seem to lose weight I usually try to join the conversation and educate them on its not what you eat, it's how much you eat.

It usually does not compute. It's like the question: What's heavier, a bag of feathers that weighs 1000 lbs or a bag of iron that weighs 1000 lbs? It's elementary but people have a mind block and removing it is difficult.

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>bring cottage cheese and a myprotein casein bar for breakfast
>"what do you have over there? Uhh, I wonder how many Es are in there"
>I read the ingredients aloud and explain that this stuff is in every slightly processed stuff, that emulgators aren't evil and that it contains no soy protein but the more expensive protein from our everyday's milk
>They give me a look like I would eat my cum thinking of their children
>I guess they won because I answered

Young parents are worse than the holocaust. They are 10 years older than me and their talks are so normie that I would like to throw my food out of the window after 5 minutes.
And most of them order food from the delilvery service, it's quite like school meals in aluminum foil.

>>41921509
jesus this! Job/coworker stories really make me wonder about what kinds of places some of you work at.

>>41921523
>cityfags

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>>41918585
W
I
I
F
I
T

A N D

Z
U
M
B
A

>if it looks healthy eat it

>>41921694
The carbs are bad for you one gets to me. Even before I went fucking vegan I ate a shitload and still had a decent body. I don't understand when people (women in particular) say that carbs make them gain weight than any other macro

>>41922002
jew detected

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>>41921606
>cleanse
>fast
>any other stupid shit that has you eating radically different for a very short period of time in the promise of a drastic increase of health and well-being
How does a person get this dumb?

>>41922130
A common misconception. Fat and carbs have a higher calorie count per gram than protien and this information gets put in a blog using different verbiage and people interpret it as fat + carbs = unhealthy.

>Friends mum is trying to lose weight
>Just drinks retarded meal replacement shakes
>Decide to just have a sneak peak at the nutritional information
>100% sugar
>Woman is literally just shovelling tablespoons of sugar into water and expecting to lose fat

>>41922087
>cico is actually in violation of the second law of thermodynamics
>in all energy exchanges, if no energy enters or leaves the system, the potential energy of the state will always be less than that of the initial state
Please explain to me how CICO goes against this law

>>41922155
Half-correct. Carbs and proteins have the same caloric density, 4 calories per gram, fat is 9 calories per gram.

People just hate carbs because the only carb they consume is sugar which is easily stored as fat.

>>41922155
Protein and carbs both have 4 kcal/gram though

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>i'm gonna fast every other day to lose weight
>today's my cheat day
>i'm gonna start skipping lunch
>only 1500 calories a day for me

i started my current job 10 months ago with another guy at the same time. he's a bit chubby and a bit of a manlet who thinks he knows his stuff. he "religiously" diets and only ever eats crumbs for lunch. yet the funny thing is that he looks exactly the same since the first day i met him

sometimes he would bring muffins in for lunch and then say out of the blue that he had a small dinner last night so it's fine to justify it to himself. every monday he talks about beers he drank over the weekend and it's just like lmao dude.

one day he got mad at my lunch for some reason and said something like "you can have more than that, you're not fat for fucksake".

>track every day co-workers have cake for one year during all off 2016
>114
>114/366, 31%
>only fit person in a sea of fat lazy middle-age and older office workers
>fat cows always trying to get me to eat cake
>always bitching about how I can eat whatever i want without gaining weight
>whatever

>couple years ago
>fat bitch comes over and asks me for nutrition advice
>wants to lose weight for her kids
>tell her 'ok'
>make it clear she gets only one chance, dont question me, dont lie to me, dont espouse some bullshit rhetoric you 'read in an article', and actually do what I say and never make a fucking excuse
>go shopping with her
>go to her place every evening and teach her how to cook healthy meals
>check her place out for 'snacks' and 'treats'
>check her lunch every day at work
>plan her exercise, go with her to the gym
>run her life for two months straight
>coworkers say im abusing her
>tell her she doesnt need my help or doesnt need to lose weight
>after two months she has lost 20 lbs
>coworkers have turned on her
>they get up from the lunch table when she sits down
>they make snide comments about how 'she thinks shes better than us' blah blah blah
>cunts even report me to HR for creating a "hostile" work enviroment

>after 6 months she lost 50 pounds, was exercising regularly, eating healthy, all on her own
>all the rest of the fat cows are "still dieting" but not losing weight

>>41922163
absolutely no meal replacement shake is "100% sugar" or even close, many of them are actually quite great in terms of macros

i guess you felt the need to post so you made something up

>>41922260
Please go ahead and verify your claim dipshit.

>>41921667
Go to hr and say almost exactly what you said here,
>coworker quipped about wanting to put me his sister's old dress and slam my ass, but since I felt uncomfortable I didn't know how to respond besides laughing nervously.
Then maybe,
>I'm not looking to make a bigger deal out of it than it is, I just don't know how to navigate this scenario.
You're welcome.

>>41922275
>Go to hr
What kind of faggot job do you have?

>>41922264
the initial claim is the one to be verified anon. there is no "100% sugar" meal replacement shake. meal replacement shakes are commonly used by fit people.

>>41922258
that is fucking sick bruh

>>41921667

you look anything like Yuki? I'll slam your ass right now, dress or no dress

>>41922291
If this fucko is worried about acting homophobic then presumably there is an hr department that will fuck his shit up when his coworker goes to them crying about how the anon was mean because gay.
>What kind of faggot job do you have?
Editing books for a university, it's pretty alright for part time.

>>41922291
Not him but my work used to have a HR but they couldn't afford it for such a small scale operation
t. manual labor worker in factory

>>41922322
Nsfw bruh. I still laughed though.

>>41922310
Lol. No.

I am using anecdotal evidence of my own personal experience, if you don't like that, tough shit. You're the one claiming that ABSOLUTELY NO shake in existence contains 100% sugar. You are making an absolutist claim without any evidence, so cough it up faggot.

>meal replacement shakes are commonly used by fit people.
oh wait, you're a newfag, nevermind then.

>>41922258

so once she's hot you're going to nail her right?

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>>41919825
>yoplait
Had to endure the tragedy that is eating one of those horrendous things at a vacation. Holy shit it tastes like nothing but pure sugar. Is this what's required for normies to eat yoghurt?

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>>41922258
so when are you going to fuck her...?

>>41919828
He's partly right though, "getting abs" is almost entirely lowering your BF%

>>41922341
yes im the newfag with the exercise science degree in school to be an RDN now.

i'll wait around for you to show me the meal replacement shake which is 100% sugar which means it is literally just granular sugar. I'm sure those sell a lot. and yeah i've never seen a single person who is /fit/ drink a svelte or anything. i'm sure nobody here has either.

yikes.

>>41922352
Here in France Yoplait is pretty good actually (at least the regular, plain ones)

>>41922095
Shouldn't you be clearing drains somewhere Jose?

>>41922336
Nothing wrong with two adult males seeing a pic of penis online

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>>41918585

why do you have to be so autistic about it?

>REEE THESE FUCKIN NORMIES TALKING BOUT QUESTING ON THEIR FUCKIN LEVEL 88 TOONS, GONA PUT EM IN THEIR PLACE BY TALKIN BOUT MY ITEM LEVEL 937 MYTHIC RAIDING DEATH KNIGHT! THATLL SHOW EM!!!

this is how you appear op, I bet you probably don't even look better than the video game nerd in this example.

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>>41922433
Why ? Because I'm not sucking my superior's dick, being on excel all day and make sure to not make a hostile environment for coworkers, listening to inane office drama I'm a drain cleaning mexican ? You're so far up your arse, trying to defend your soul crushing job while people actually do something fulfilling for a living.
Don't forget to check your mail, I'm sure your boss has an emergency for you.

>>41922425
How sad is your life that you get into an imaginary dick measuring contest with some random anon on an Eritrean knob shining forum?

I'm just sharing an innocuous story about my personal experience which then you autistically start spouting the likes of 'FAKE AND GAY FAKE AND GAY FAKE AND GAY"

Have a goodnight sweet prince

>>41922479
fuck him anon,
he was proBAbly raised by a single mother
he probably gets manicures
he will never understand what being a man is like
all he will ever be is a 'yes sir' man to whomever holds the highest title in the toom at any given moment

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>>41922213
jesus that is obvious sarcasm, it isn't even bait
you fuggin took b8 that wasn't there

>>41922468
>2017
>retail wow

>>41922479
>I'm allowed to project bullshit characteristics onto you but you are not allowed to do it to me
You were the one who felt the need to start shitting on other peoples professions online anyway, such an enlightened and fulfilling life you must be leading

>>41922444
you are right, but not at work lmao

>>41922519
>t. only experience of white collar work comes from Hollywood movies
what's with all this aggression? did you get laid off because management wanted higher bonuses?

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>>41922322
kek

>>41922599
>worked an office job for 3 years
>felt like i wanted to kms daily
>being a wageslave so that your boss can drive a bimmer/cedes

enjoy your life as a slave in a tie anon!

>>41920008
Dont talk shit about my husbando Andrew or I will kill you nigger.

>>41922557
Struck a nerve, did I ? It's alright, it's just temporary, stuck just before middle management wasn't how it was meant to be, I'm sure that if you go fetch another coffee, or show up earlier to lay off some work from your boss you'll get that promotion.
That's right, it doesn't matter how good you work is, it's just about being "invested". Don't get caught pestering about him as well, he could put a negative appreciation in your yearly report. You do want that 50$ prime, don't you ?

>>41921509
Selection bias innit. You only post in this thread if you have fat retarded coworkers, and that's more common in office jobs.

>>41922729
>Used to work in a factory
>have to go into the office to get my clock card
>there's only 3 fat women and a gay guy in there
Well I guess most of /fit/ is gay

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>>41920118
>F-F-Full Body and y-y-you

>be at the gym
>meet a friend
>she wants me to show her how to squat
>I show her proper form
>she says it's unhealthy and proceeds to do quarter low-bar squats for them booty gainz because that's what her trainer told her
>I just leave her to her training

Why would she even ask, to waste my time?

>>41918986

Kek, I just say I eat very little and try to exercise a lot. If they say x is this or that I just agree so I don't have to prolong the conversation.

>>41921120
the "healthy food is expensive" meme is the worst

>>41922258
good work

>>41918585
>fructose is better than glucose

I CAN NOT LIVE
I CAN NOT DIE
TRAPPED IN MYSELF

>>41920707

All of our vending machines at work have shit like hot fries and zebra cakes

>>41922507
wow you sound pathetic

Anyone else's workplace obsessed with fitbits? Constantly hearing about how many steps everyone took that day

>>41923493
Not this job but my last year job had constant steps talks

>>41922087
It doesn't. CICO invokes the second law of thermodynamics.

>>41920723
> Reading comprehension

>>41920008
The Cuck Bus

>>41922676
What's with this passive aggressive as fuck armchair psychologist projecting of yours? I don't even work in an office. Always the dumbasses with the air of superiority. I could write the exact same paragraph about whatever trade you do, how you need to kiss the customers ass in order to get food on the table, how you are getting forced out of business because illegal third-worlders do your work for one tenth of the pay, but I know it's a dumb cliché which isn't even close to reality for the majority of people. As I said earlier, if your work were so fulfilling you wouldn't feel the need to prove yourself online by shitting on others. Stay humble my n-word

>>41920723
It doesn't work anon.
I spent 2 years convincing my gymbro that protein isn't steroids and strength training with accessories and heavy weights is best.


switched gyms and 2 years later calls me, asks how im doing, says he's pbysique comp prepping at pre 1/2/2/3 weights, and asking me if im naturally traini g or "taking" protein. All in one conversation. I fucking give up.

>>41918585
I swear some of the normies are worse than vegans

>>41923564
Damn you sure is mad.

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>co-worker: "I wanna eat healthy, but I don't know how!"
>me: "well, if you want something really simple, just try to avoid sugar and white flour, and drink only water. You'll be a lot healthier and it's really easy to do."
>co-worker: "b-but I don't know what has sugar"
>me: "if you're having trouble, just read the nutrition information, it'll tell you"
>other co-workers: "no, don't do that, that's too hard to read!"
>mfw

>>41918585
I just say it's bad for you and not to do it.

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>>41923577
>lmao fucking beta wage slaves they get manicures and shit I'm a real man because of whatever I do
>stop being a dumbass
>damn so mad
yeah pic is literally me irl right now

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>>41920648
>Lime
Fug brah, you want to acidify your body? You need to alkalineze it, it will kill cancer cells and give a six pack.

>Mfw I shit on how retarded are the people that drink alkaline water
>Mfw I see my a bottle of it in my boss's desk later that day , he heard everything
>Never see another bottle in his desk after that

A little redpill always helps

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>>41923615

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>>41920723
>co-workers
>casual gym goers

The only other person that goes to the gym at my work is noticeably ripped. The others are mostly made up of fatasses that go get lunch over at the nearby McDonald's.

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>>41923578
I don't know how it is in america, but most food has a nice clean label that tells nutrition information. But knowing America, the big corps have probably found a way to legally use shit like THIS as the only nutrition information

>>41922163
> 100% sugar
lolno post the brand

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>>41923704

No ours are pretty good

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>>41922258
gj

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>>41922468
>complains about others being "autistic"
>spergs out over one line of text

>>41918585
>work at a gym
>have brotalks about nutrition, training, bodybuilding, and dieting with co-workers and regulars all day
Feels good brah

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>>41920008
FUCKING NORMANS DIE FUCK YOU NORMAN ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>41922644
If you can't afford a nice car it means you chose the wrong field. If you are getting treated like shit by your company it means you're replacable, i.e. not good at what you're doing. You only become a "slave in a tie" if you are content with mediocrity

>>41920704
What an important and interesting insight!

>>41921543
Fencers always look pretty dyel to me, the swords look almost weightless

>>41922114
>he buys the myprotein protein bars
holy kek, you must be a richfag

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>>41922258
this is the man I want to be

>>41920008
unironically hope that all these cucks will be tortured to death one day

My old job had weight loss contests, based on percentage. So i bulked up on crap food and then cut down for a month and won. The fatties did not like this. I got a 100$ gift card for the prize, but pissing off the fatties was priceless.

>>41923944
kek if true

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>>41923944
doing gods work anon

>>41922341
You seem like a retard desu

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>>41923944
>>41922258
neets will never have the chance to be this legendary

>>41922228
>Carbs and proteins have the same caloric density, 4 calories per gram
protein requires more energy to metabolise (https://www.trainingpeaks.com/blog/a-calorie-is-not-a-calorie/)

>>41922236
see >41924000

>>41923734
Hoho is that the land of the free using europoor units?

>>41923493
I like mine because it can roughly track my calories and my sleep patterns. I don't care for the other stuff

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>>41919002
>I read on facebook that eating lots of nuts makes you lose weight

>>41918986
>>41919002
>>41920191
You should never go into detail about your diet and exercise regimen at the workplace. The workplace is a place of power, and one of the rules of power is to always make your success seem effortless.

>Dunno I just don't like soda that much. Not really a sweettooth.
>Yeah I like running/cycling/whatever. See the countryside a bit.
>yeah me and some mates from back in uni still get together to play tennis some time.
>just some push-ups in the morning, if I feel like it haha

Even if you're swole as fuck normies won't question it. Don't even tell them you go to the gym unless it comes up. Then tell them 'sometimes, if I need to blow off some steam' or something. The only exception should be if you are close friends with a colleague who wants to improve himself.

>>41924402
That's pathetic, and anyone who thinks that way is equally so.

>>41924414
You're never going to make partner if you aren't willing to sacrifice your co-workers' health.

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>>41919488
>TFW the day shift supervisor carries a gallon of lemon/cucumber slices water.

I never realized why til now

One thing I can't stand is the entire 'alkanise' your body meme.

Alkaline water and stuff.

Because hurr durr acid bad, gotta purify my body with alkaline water and get a urine infection in the process.

Bur at least I don't have any dangerous acids in my body!!!!

Alkanise your almonds kids

>>41918585
I've genuinely given up trying to give diet advice, whatever you say it always turns into a competition to prove you wrong using spurious claims or to blame my 'lucky' metabolism.

>"I'm going on holiday next month so I'm cutting out bread"
>proceeds to eat a packets of crisps, non-diet fizzy drink and 2 fat free sugar laced yogurts with the store bought 'salad', which is covered in thousand island dressing. Followed by a few chocolate biscuits as a reward for not having any bread.
>and no I don't want to see your holiday snaps of you around the pool, where you've bacon greased two truck tyres on as a makeshift bikini

My personal favourite is still the guy at work who read somewhere that chillies speed up your metabolism. He now eats the same as before but slathers it in hot sauce, thus making it diet food.
>not a single pound has been lost

>>41924402
>not really a sweettooth
This has got me out of many workplace donuts/cookies/other shit that fat people always bring in

>>41924344
>just cut/eat this one food to lose weight fast!

>>41918585
Oh god the meme is spreading

>>41922163
still the ones I tried land you at 800 calories a day and make it easy for normes to maintain their weight by jumping on the shake diet for a week or 2 if you noticed the weight is slowly creeping up it may not be the best option but its the easiest to implement for uneducated normies and much better than just getting fat or starcing yourself

>work in office building
>on site gym (few cardio and babbyweight DBs)
>go to it only to see hot milfs in short shorts and tank tops jogging and bending over

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>>41920008
I had a dream last night that it was 2011 again, and I was back in high school. We tend to remember only the positive things in the past, but something was so comforting about this dream. It wasn't the teenage crushes, the varsity football games, the school dances or any of that. It was the human interaction. I remember not having a smartphone. No camera to take photos of my daily existence every hour. I don't want to sound like an old ass because I'm only 23, but I truly miss those days. Selfies have brought out the absolute worst in people.

I just want to go back.

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>>41919999
>have to eat every 2 hours or I'll get fat
??
Also chekkking those quads

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>>41920118
He was trying to be friendly

>>41921120
€? What the fuck is this?

>>41925046
I've had this one as well
>you have to eat regularly to keep your metabolism up
It's easier to just agree than argue it

>>41925076
:^)

>>41920118
>all of them
Also stop being an autismo, he's likely just trying to start a conversation

>>41923864
No you dumb fuck, fencing as in the trade. Rural fencing, making fucking fences.

>>41925145
oh, that's what a prole means by fencing (v.)

>>41925145
Lol bet that pays much better than my middle management job with company car and healthcare

>>41922644
Well that's what you get for being at the bottom of the ladder. After 3 years you should have moved up by then, unless you really are that replaceable.

>co-workers talking about diet and exercise
>we are strenght coaches

cringy

>>41920118
Bis and tris, baby. Can't sperg out and start talking about full body routines and stacking on isolations.

>>41920191
How fat is she already?

>>41924009
Looks like canadas nutrition labels 2bh. We use a mix of freedom and europoor units

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Heard this last night

>but everyone's body is different, I need 3000 calories a day or I'll lose weight!

This guy is obese bordering morbid. His wife has been successfully losing weight, but he refuses to because he, "loves himself too much to want to change himself."

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>>41919488
>>41920648
>>41923621
>>41924441

whoa, I'm in need of some serious redpill on fruit in water

How is lemon different from lime different from cucumber in water?? and if you could, explain it like I'm a normie (I am, just getting to do 10 push-ups, gotta start somewhere)

>>41923834
right? all these idiot's trying to correct my grammer!

>>41925348
it makes the water taste better, thats literally all it does

>>41922095
Sorry that grad school got me a better paying job because I didn't want to work in a coal mine my whole life

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>>41918585

The place I used to work that had a skinny co-worker that kept complaining about back pain, said he needed to diet more.

He's already the stereotypical skinny weak Asian, at some point his common sense should've told him diet isn't doing jack shit.
Also speaking of the workplace

>tfw having to deal with the company lunches
>Usually fast food like Popeyes or pizza
>tfw sedentary white collar job doesn't help in this case

I don't know how I maintained my body from getting fat there, but I somehow did.

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>show up to work meeting (since it was OT during my dinner) with a FUCKHUGE bowl of romaine, some sliced cucumbers and onions, as well as THREE whole chicken breasts
>everyone watches as I unpack my food, they crack little jokes "wow are you gonna eat that all?"
>tell them I do intermittent fasting so this is the only meal I will eat all day
>old retarded fucker who is practiaclly illitterate tells me "that's really healthy you know"
>dream about walking over to him and knocking him down and stomping on his head until he either dies or learns to read
>while I am part embarassed and fuming my boss defends me saying she's heard of that and that the rock does it and that "it's actually really healthy"
>my rage subsides as old retard is put in his place and I realize I don't have to choke a bitch

FUCK I hate eating at work why are normies so fucking retarded when it comes to nutrition

>>41924009
helps because no one here knows what a gram of sugar looks like
>1000g to an ounce right?

>>41925348
the idea is it tastes better, so people are less likely to have soda instead

>>41919828
>throw away half eaten lunch and punch dents into dumpster

Easy there roid rage

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>>41925056
>can play cricket (X)

kekkeroony

>>41919999
I want some hot fries...

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>co-worker is a personal trainer on the side
>broscientist of the highest order
>hear fat coworker talking about trying to lose weight
>he says he will only drink diet coke if he craves soda
>she tells him that diet coke will actually make him fatter than regular coke and to drink regular coke if he has to have a soda
>mfw

I don't know how to interject in things like this, she is directly fucking him over.

>>41922258
You're a damned holy man

>>41922228
Carbs (especially sugar) are easily stored as fat by normies because normies are weak.

If you're carrying around a fair amount of muscular bodyweight, your carbohydrate metabolism is likely completely different to that of a sedentary person. Your muscle is basically acting as a massive carb sponge, using some of it for maintenance and a greater amount to be stored as glycogen. Normies don't have that muscle, so for them, cutting out carbs probably does show fairly good results fairly fast.

>>41924822
You're not understanding normies and their actual motives. First of all, there's no agency and goal-oriented behavior behind their 'diets' and whatever the fuck they do.

Second, when they talk to you about diets and shit, they expect praise (validation), so drop off with 'good for you' and see how their faces light up.

Any time you try to inform them of even the simplest diet tips, you're invalidating their 'effort', and by extension, their whole 'self'. The only way to win is to nod and agree, while laughing inside.

>>41922651
Worth it
*worth it*

>>41922479
Office worker reporting in

Can't wait to be fired for forgetting some trivial shit. This was the worst decision of my life. Trying to get fit first so I can get back into waiting tables or something afterwards.

I spend my days staring at computer screen, knowing nothing I do will ever have an impact while I live off of other men's sweat and labor (govt worker)

This is the worst feel in the world

>>41924344
I was shocked at fat content of nuts to my shame. Love them tho and use them to get through lunch. 540 cal lunch, no preparation, no odor of tuna fish

>>41919488
The only drink cucumber belongs in is a gin and tonic
Also if you use anything other than Hendricks go fuck yourself

>>41925993
While not strictly true never seen anyone who controls their intake of diet sodas. One regular soda is better than 10 diets

>>41924402
This
I tell my coworkers I do some light calisthenics and use wii fit every day

>>41926168
Bingo. Nail on the head.

Normies telling you they're 'on a diet' are virtue signaling their 'health awareness' and 'dedication'. The more ridiculous the diet, the more dedicated they supposedly are. They don't care about actually losing weight.

>>41926366

>wii fit

Top kek. Normies actually believe that shit works?

>>41922114
Wtf how are they only ten years older then you

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>>41918585
>when your co-workers say that they take advise from muscle and fitness

>>41926203
>my dream is to become a minimum wage slave for a job that no-one will respect me for, dealing with the public and whoring myself out for tips
Is this a troll?

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>>41924903
BOI

>>41926344
I think you have those the wrong way round.

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>>41921490
spotted the ledditor

>>41926327
Bombay sapphire is a worthy replacement, but Hendricks is without doubt my favourite gin

>>41924000
>Admittedly, the differences are small. They do not in themselves constitute a rationale to consume a high-protein, low-fat diet for weight management.

>>41923493
My brother in law is obsessed with this shit. The only thing those things are good for is making normies who don't work out feel good about themselves.

>>41926168
>>41926376
This'll make me feel so dirty, but I think you're right on the praise and agreement. I mean they all give up after the first few weeks anyway and at least I won't be seen as the bad guy that put them off.

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>>41920506
Kek I actually audibly said that out loud to myself as I was laughing and then I saw your post.

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>that gymrat coworker who has acne everywhere including his neck who swears that he doesn't roid
>the fat woman who always talks about the "step workout" she does at the gym and eats "protein bars" filled with sugar, carbs because "they're healthy"
>the skinny guy who only curls and has retarded looking arms

>>41920008
Lool, I didn't even notice that the guy on th right was a man, thought it was one of these feminist bitches

>>41922479
I bet you have a low skilled, low paying job that a monkey could do
>follow your dreams
>make your hobby your job
>I'm not a wage slave
>it's not about the money
Just lol, if I'm going to work 5 days a week I make damn sure I get paid well for it. I've had a job where I had to sometimes work outside and it was hell in the winter months. Give me an air conditioned office with comfy leather chairs, internet access and a coffee machine any day of the week

>>41922341
You're the one claiming you found a 100% sugar meal replacement drink faggot. Link or gtfo.

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>>41923944

>>41922573
What the fuck are you doing on 4chan at work

>>41925618
>eats nothing but three chicken breasts
>calls other people nutritionally-retarded

>>41923025
She doesn't want your help, she wants you to watch her ass. Jesus Christ man, she wants your dick.

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>>41918585
>be veganfag
>lost 100lbs so far, getting cut
>overhear middle aged female coworkers in breakroom
>"yeah i'm doing the whole low carb thing. carbs are SOOOOO bad for you"
>other hamplanet pipes in
>"right. people think fat is bad but it isn't TEE HEE. i'm avoiding carbs too gurl"
>all my rage
>put in my headphones to tune out basic bitches
>they beckon me "Hey anon?"
>"yeah?"
>you know sweet potatoes and rice aren't good for you if you're trying to lose more weight
>"is that so?"
>put my headphones back in
>use strength of a thousand suns to not pop a blood vessel in my brain

>>41925328
That's definitely a US label, look at the serving size

>>41923954
't 'za 'ks 'ly 'd

>>41922258
You did good anon

>>41926468
how is that reddit?

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>>41920008
cuck boys fo fo fo for life
>how can they live with themselves

>>41925023
>not having a smart phone in 2011

What was it like being raised in a 3rd world shithole?

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>Dance is the best exercise
t. every fat woman

>>41924344
>tfw female friend was shocked to find out trail mix has more calories than chocolate
Tried to explain to her that it's still healthier but she insisted that from now on she'd be eating chocolate during her studies. At least she'll be consuming fewer calories, kek.

>>41926376
>>41926168

Damn son that's a big red pill

>>41919002
I just tell them my 1 easy trick. GOWAD and a pound of chicken breast every day

>>41920723
The bitter thing is, even if you are meeting them half-way and offer them easy alternatives to counting calories and going to the gym, like visual portion control with a journal (everybody has an iphone with notes) and bodyweight exercises at home (everyone can do pushups pullups and sprints), they are still unsatisfied and want to know the true magical ingredient that will get them beyond the norm without any effort. They don't understand that 1^365 is 1 but 1.01^365 is 37.8. Paying SOME real attention to what you eat and dedicating SOME time every day to improving your fitness is going to go a long way if you stay consistent, but no normie wants to acknowledge that they lack the discipline or they do acknowledge it and make it their point that there has to be a way to do it without discipline. Don't discuss fitness and nutrition with normies.

>>41926873
>F-38

>>41927058
is that a reddit thing?

>>41924402
>this fag also read the 48 laws of power
it was a good book, desu, I enjoyed it

>>41927040
Pretty much this, everyone is looking for the easy way out when the truth is they need some self control

>>41924402

Im never gonna make a big career then. I always have a huge urge to be honest about everything. Lying makes me super uncomfortable, I cant suck up to people either

When I have a gf I even tell them "hey, you got a little fatter recently, have you been eating bad?" or "these clothes dont look good on you". I just despise fakeness in people. Its good I dont live in America because I would get sued if I have to hold a conversation about diet with a fat fuck

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>>41927066
dont try to play it off you redditor. GET OFF ARE BOARD

>>41927135
only a redditor would know

>>41924402
this anon knows things

>>41920008
>Posts picture of some people.
>Entirely normal, inoffensive, happy people.
>"REEEEEEE, NORMIES"
>Inventing a problem out of thin air.

Pure autism.

>>41921523
this guy lives in a liberal city you can be sure of it.

>>41920008
The guy with glasses looks like a cool guy

>>41924009
You gonna measure cholesterol with lbs?

>>41918986
They probably contradict you because you don't look like you lift

>>41927184
People REEEE because those are buzzfeed writers

>>41926485
wow u raped that guy

>>41922113
The way you use that analogy is so long winded and annoying. Just say a pound of feathers or a pounds of bricks.

>>41926733
This

>>41927127
I am like you but I act like the guy you responded to
It actually comes and goes, I really don't want others to catch up with me but fakness and lies are fucking annoying
I really hate liars

>>41926344
10 diet sodas = 50 calories
1 normal soda = 100 calories

>>41927586
S U G A R

>>41922115
I'm a programmer it's a very cucked profession but great money.

>>41920999
Nice digits dude.
Never too late to check'em.

>>41927819
There's no sugar in diet soda you cunt.

>>41927831

cucked? explain

>>41922291
I used to work for a retail auto parts store they had hr a coworker called them once to leave an anonymous complaint about someone else. The next morning the Hr played the conversation over the speaker everyone knew immediately by voice who it was fucking hilarious

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>>41920648
TFW cucumber lime 10 cal sips master race

>>41924402
>being this pathetic
I bet you watch "game" videos as well

>>41924402
that's bullshit

>>41928186
>I bet you watch "game" videos as well
What the fuck are "game" videos

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>>41926780
yo vegan do you know any recipes containing pic related? My sister is vegetarian-wannabe-vegan and her birthday is next month so I was thinking of getting her protein (she bikes a bit but does not lift) but she does not like shakes.

So I was thinking something like this that can (hopefully) be tossed into stews.

>>41927930
Nope just aspartame how's that cancer treating ya?

>>41921518
Not with that grammar you don't.

>>41928313
>aspartame
>cancer

Nice shilling for Big Sugar

>>41928313
He fell for the meme

>>41922002
>>>/reddit/

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>be me
>friend ask me to go for a drink
>sure, but I need to go and buy my whey first
>I pick him up and a common friend of ours who is his neighbor comes along
>buy the whey
>obligatory talk about how whey gives you fake muscles and is cheating yada yada yada
>the neighbor tells me how drinking whey all the time is bad for you, and how you are supposed to substitute a meal, like breakfast, for a shake and thats how its done
>mfw

I unironically lost it, I told him how whey is protein and that's it, that you need the vitamins, fats, minerals and everything you get from a balanced meal, and how the first thing it says on the package is how it isn't a food substitute at all. Fuckin' retard.

Food is something you're more likely to get comments about. I work in engineering, which is 99% guys so most of them don't give a fuck what you eat. I can imagine it's different with female co-workers and their retarded diets.

Most of the normies at work drink soda all day and eat candybars in between meals. I bring a home cooked meal to work and eat chicken sandwiches as a snack. I've had comments a couple of times, like people asking me what I was eating and why do I always eat chicken and rice, but I just tell them I like it cause it tastes good.

>At work
>lunch
>watching vid of Kirk squatting 1000 lbs raw.
>twiglet co-worker walks by
>ohmygod how much is that?
>tell her
>wow, oh wait is that a total of 1000? So it's just 500 on each side not much.
I honestly had no idea what to say

>>41919013
"metabolic syndrome"

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>>41920008

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>>41926586
I'm stealing your Thomasin and there's nothing you can do about it.

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>>41920633
>when a normie wants to go to the gym with you

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>be recovering anorexic trying to get /fit/
>at work
>2 of the fatties next to me in our stupid open plan office are talking about their diets
>one of them says 'Oh I just hate eating haha I only do it because I have a 'cavernous throat' that means my throat is too big to breath so I need to put food there to help me breath'
>other one says she also has a medical condition and also hates eating
>this conversation goes on for some time
>start to get really unironically triggered by the way they keep talking that they don't like eating
>turn around and say 'I do-don't enjoy b-b-being a virgin'
>was meant to symbolise that I don't talk about being a virgin, as I don't enjoy it, so if they didn't enjoy eating they would not talk about it
>they think I am harassing them
>nearly got fired for sexual harassment, now there are office rumours of me being a sex pest

>>41928837
You probably should have explained it you spastic lmao

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>>41928837
bullshit, nobody is this stupid

>>41920008

Uh-oh its So Soylent Crew

>fat coworker that claims he goes to a gym
>"there are no back muscles"

>>41927015
wait. that's actually a good ass trick

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>>41923025
you didn't show her proper form because if you did she would have squatted on your dick

>>41924402
Hello fellow lawyer. Not too many of us on /fit/

Literally the reason why when coworkers ask how I got so fit, i say soccer and zumba

>>41919013
where do people who go on about CICO get the idea that your metabolic rate is somehow fixed and doesn't depend on what/how much you eat etc?

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>>41920191
1pl8 for reps or just rep max?

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>eat like a trashcan
>think they are doing well by avoiding soy and eggs like the plague

I just walked out of the room.

>>41929185
Big 3 strategy consultant actually.

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>>41928837
>cavernous throat
got me
also you're retarded but I'm sure you know that

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>>41918585
>talking about the weightlifting
>skinny tall guy says he can't gain weight and he swears it's a medical issue (yet to be diagnosed)

I somehow doubt he has a medical issue.

>>41928313
Aspartame: maybe chance of cancer
Sugar: much higher chance of cancer

>>41923524
Yeah let's apply physics laws to complex biological systems

>>41926327
>>41926476
My gin brothers

>>41923779
Calm down, Harold

>>41926956
But she'll become fatter kek

>>41919013
CICO is good for fatasses and when you want to get started, but it's an imperfect system, it doesnt take into account hormonal response to different foods, training, genetic characteistics, life style, macros etc etc.

>>41920191
Dude the answer is always
>Just doing some pushups, pullups and watching my diet hehe

>>41929870
I usually go with
>oh you know, I have some dumbbells at home and train now and then

>>41922258
Fucking rare for this to actually happen good work m8

>>41925348
Well dude, it's all got to do with the natural frutose and sictric acids. Basically its been scientifically proven that it forces your body to use fat as energy instead of muscle, so you lose weight and get more toned at the same time. It also adds tons of probionics which basically target and, well, think of it like they sort off "eat" the fat cells and then you digest them and literally shit it out later, so you basically shit out the fat.

>>41926161
Simple carbs are more easily stored as fat period.

>>41918585
>Co Workers see I have gym clothes
>Tell them I go Zumba classes to pick up chicks
>Double praises at the same time

feels good man

>>41922258
Glad you stuck with her anon. You have my internet respect.

>>41923025
She wants to 'correct' you. She just wanted to be nice at first.

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>>41926733
Why did I read that in McCoy's voice?

>>41926941
>spin classes are their second favorite thing

>>41929259
It's a small effect compared to normal overeating fatassery

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>bring salad and shit to work
>'anon why do you eat that stuff'
>cuz I like it
>'oh'
>nothing happens

>>41922258
Well done.

>>41928704
She was probably thinking about those 1/10 reps on leg press that some dudes like to do: stack as many plates as you can and do as little ROM as possible.

Or those instagram dudes that like to put on some nifty fake plates. Castleberry syndrome, yo.

>>41929799
Did you know that gravity is acting on your digestive system right now? Crazy, I know!

>>41929723

I saw an old acquantaince who works for Deloitte at a pub. He said hi to me first. I said he looked huge and had put on a lot of muscle; as he had. It was all positive.

He then told me he hasnt been to the gym at all and played it off. It was total bullshit and immediately soured the conversation and I saw completely through his lie and thought he was taking me for an idiot.

I didnt get why he did it but now I think I do. But anyway im just saying it can backfire if you tell a blatant lie to an informed normie

>>41930801
What if I tell a normie that I just like to row on the machine? I'm above 1/2/3/4, could it be believable?

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>>41928704
>500/side
>oh, not much