I'm gonna start keto. Any big fat tips to give?

brrrraAAAAAAAP

>>41761289
SNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTPPPPPFFFF

BBBBBRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPP

>>41761330
>>41761317
>>41761303
>>41761296
Please kill yourselves right now.

>>41761289
Get enough electrolytes and fiber

>>41761289
The back squat is literally pffftttt the only exercise in the entire repertoire of weighted human movement that allows the direct training of tee hee...so sorry anon:) the complex movement pattern known as hip drive. The posterior (lol butts) chain is a term that refers to brrrrrrpppp the muscles that produce hip *gurgle*....oh no, I knew i shouldn't have eaten all that Taco bell :( extension-straightening-out of the *burp*....oh excuse me anon, how unladylike of me hip joint from its flexed (or bent) position *face turns white*....oh no i think i just shit my pants a little....you don't mind, do you anon? in the bottom of the squat. The muscles that accomplish hip extension are the oh my, that is quite smelly! my word, what an erotic olfactory delight the good lord hath bestowed upon us on this glorious morn! hamstrings, the glutes, and the adductors or groin (lol) muscles, and together OH NO! I forgot to refill my IBS medication! but i know you'll unclog the toilet for me, right anon? tee hee these are referred to as the posterior chain. The initial movement up out of the bottom of oh no, there's no turning back now brrrrpp a full squat is hip drive, and is best thought burp of as a shoving-up of the sacral PFFFTTTT *starts gagging from smell* area of the lower back, the area right above your butt (haha butt). This is the hardest BRRRAAAAAAPAAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAAP BRRRRAAAAAPA PSSSSSHHSSHSHSHHHSHS SPLOP PLOP PLOP PSSSSSHSHHHH SSSSPPLLLLUUUURRRTTTFFFFFF BAAAZZZZZZINNNNNGGGAAAAAAAAAA thing to teach in my preferred method of squatting, and by far the most
important. Oh dear, what a mess I've made. Well, eat up!

dont eat carbs.

who is this braphog

>>41761289
>I'm gonna start keto. Any big fat lips to give?

>>41761348
>Get enough electrolytes and fiber
these are realy important OP

its even advised to add salt to your water. On keto you piss more than normal so you lose a lot of minerals so dont take it lightly or youll feel like shit

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>>41761296
>>41761303
>>41761317
>>41761330

*PLOP* *PLOP*

>>41761289
Egg white omelettes erry day.
Learn to love spice.
You will kill a man for a slice of apple by day 6.

>>41761289
Also, you need to reset every few weeks - have a carb weekend.
Keeping up Keto indefinitely is bad for your kidneys and liver as they are working to the max to support your change in catabolic function.

eat egg drink water eat more egg and sometimes mayo from jar when hungry and too lazy to cook egg

>>41761402
Every other girl outside of your parent's basement.

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>>41761296
>>41761303
>>41761317
>>41761330
>>41761373
i love this board

Reminder you have to be over 18 years old to post here.

>>41761289
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAPPPPAPFFFFFFF TOOT TOOT *SLUUURRRRPPPP*

Ok now that that's out of the way, Keto is fucking retarded and you won't lose any more fat than if you just went into a deficit by cutting carbs back a little.

>>41761649
Keto helps prevent muscle mass loss.
If it prevents you from losing half a kilo of lean muscle mass, it's worth it.

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>>41761541
You're a fucking moron. Ripping your body in and out of ketosis every few weeks is harder on your body than just staying on. The keto flu and cravings are the hardest part. Why would you make yourself go through that again and again?

>>41761717
Bruh, just repeating what my doctor was telling me.
Go talk to yours and ask about your kidney health if you're doing Keto long term.

>>41761665
Source?

>>41761289
Who is this brapper?

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>>41761748
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1373635/

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>>41761289
I've got a fat tip to give her.

>>41761778
The correct term is Braphog.

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>>41761799
*braps your path*

>>41761829
>Posts a Pootpony in a Braphog thread.
Fucking scum.

>>41761525
>Egg white omelettes erry day.
Why just the egg white, anon?

>>41762086
Basically pure protein and cartons of it are cheap as fuck.
Also pretty filling on a cut.

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>>41761289

>>41761541
false. cheating on keto actually doesn't let you get fat adapted so it makes the diet much harder for you.

>>41761289
Seek professional help

>>41762102
Why wouldn't he eat the yolk too?

>>41762232
Fats and cholesterol - not helpful if you're on a cut and you need to make your protein goal.

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>>41761373
>BAAAZZZZZZINNNNNGGGAAAAAAAAAA

>>41762245
kek

>>41762245
You know this is a thread about keto, yes?

>>41761289
>>41761348

Salt your food or you'll have another reason to KYS about a week in

>>41762143
I'm going to take my doctor's advice over yours, I really don't fancy kidney/liver issues.

>>41762263
>>41762264
Yes, and you'll get your fats in another meal, but if you need say 180g of protein in you diet and you have a kcal limit of 1500, you need to make a few choices.

>>41761741
I don't think this is true. I was recently diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, and a keto diet is HIGHLY recommended for glucose control and to minimize long term complications from the disease. Considering your kidneys and liver are very important and get fucked by diabetes (I have to get microalbimum [sic] and creatinine clearance tests to check my kidney function) I don't think the community would be so eager to adopt such a diet.

>>41762287
>I'm going to take my doctor's advice over yours
What study did your doctor cite if he did cite one at all?

>you need to make a few choices
Why? Are the fats in eggs more calorie dense than the fats in other meals, or how does that work with you?

>>41762287
doctors know very little to nothing about keto lmao. A random doctor isn't an omnipotent being who knows everything ever. I'm sure it's hard for you to accept, but it's true.

To OP, go to the /r/keto sub on plebbit. that's where the least misinformation is, and the FAQ there has all you need to know. Everyone here thinks they're an expert but just end up spreading damaging misinfo and broscience.

>>41762313
>>41762357
I trust my doctor with my diet, next time I see him, I'll ask for some reading material, but what he said seems sound.

>>41762407
>numerous people telling you he's plain wrong


>S-S-STOP I TRUST MY DOCTOR!!!!! MY DOCTOR REEEEEEE
you're autistic

>>41762429
If I trusted people on the internet over my doctor, I'd basically be one of those HAES cunts.
I see him in a week, I'll ask him then.

>>41761296
>>41761303
>>41761317
>>41761330
I bet you faggots are the ones complaining about /pol/ ruining the board all the time too

>>41762407
Better be careful not to catch some antibiotic resistant germs from licking your doctor's boots that much, buddy

>>41762635
I'm sorry I trust a medical professional more than someone on /fit/.
I've already stated I'm going to ask for some reading to back up his position or failing that a referral to a dietician.

Not sure if you actually want keto advice but:

>buy low sodium salt (they replace the sodium with potassium/sometimes magnesium) and it keeps your electrolytes in check

>learn to make a good pot of "Caveman" chili for your weeks dinners, itll be your best go-to and is versitile as fuck

>try out bulletproof coffee for a pre-breakfast.

>always have a jar of coconut oil handy

>monitor your fiber

>use ground up pork rinds for breadcrumbs

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>>41761289

>Prithee, m'Lady, might I throw my gaze upon your rumpscuttle?
>Yes, my dear, inch those court appearance trousers down to revel thy magnificent can
>Oh my indeed
>On first glimpse, mine heart leaps in rapture
>What is that over there, schnuckums?
>*Teleports behind you*
>Alas, I am closer, and with bottoms-bared you are vulnerable to my stealth attack
>*Crouches down at lightning speed*
>Why, greetings, fair arse. Might I withdraw a whiff?
>A gentleman cannot help but notice the arresting nature your curvature sports
>You are an arse that began its journey in full rosiness and pert quality
>However, blessed buttocks, like a daffodil that has been ravaged by slugs, you are now an arse that sags in a permanent frown, your crack housing a dark-grey fartdriller, permanently pungent
>The hands of the clock have not been kind, dearest arse, however you must now be ready for my hands, which I assure you.. will be... most kind...
>*Playful chortle*
>That's it, reveal yourself to me
>*Wedges buttockflaps apart, slowly, as the clagnut speckled hairs pull on each other and eventually snap apart, letting out a strong scent of rotting chicken and stale piss*
>*SNIFF*
>You did not disappoint me, my lower-class lovebug. It is a powerful aroma.. Thou hast revealed Thy favors and Thy bounties
>*SNIFF*
>Like the first guft of wind as you open a packet of sliced ham!
>Come on lass, you know what I require
>SQUEEEELDGE BOOOOOOOOOR BITOW POW POW BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP BRAP BRAP BROOOOOOOOARRRRRRRRRRRRQUUUOP

>>41762695
>I'm sorry I trust a medical professional more than someone on /fit/.
That someone provided sources for his claim while your doctor didn't. Should tell you something.
Your appeal to authority is especially hilarious since you acknowledge that he's not even the best guy to ask.

>>41762742
Where's the source?
Can't find it in the thread man.

Again, I'm not being hostile, I'm just not going to be pressured by a bunch of people I don't know anything about - you've convinced me to get a second opinion, but I'm not going to change anything until I speak to a professional.

>>41762791
how about do your own research instead of relying on the "opinions" of anyone? or are you too braindead and lazy that you take whatever Dr. Shekelstein tells you as fact?

>>41762830
Mate, I'm not with you here, you said there was a source, but there isn't - I'm going to speak with my doctor and/or a dietician in a week, chill.