Mirin Stories

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>be dancing with bae in club
>i need to go bathroom
>she enters and women start harassing me outside
>too autistic to go for the kill but enjoying it

I should have done it. She left me later. Fuck that bitch.

>>41693862
Go be a nigger somewhere else

>visit hooker
>she is mirin my ass, compliments it
>think this is some typical trick they play to score a regular customer
>visit her a few weeks later
>she greats me with "hey I remember you and your ass"

>>41693787
>>41693801
I know you're new, but please stop trying to regulate a board who's trends you don't understand

>>41693900
I would remember your birth date, bloody type and post number if i got paid too

>grocery store
>cashier looks a bit shy but pretty cute
>is explaining something in english to the customer in front of me
>takes a while because the stupid nigger doesn't understand
>my turn
>she turns her head and looks at me
>say hi
>her eyes go wide as fuck
>she doesn't reply
>she looks literally like a fucking deer in headlights
>quickly looks down and starts checking my groceries
>grab the receipt and thank her
>she mutters y-y-your welcome

>>41693936
>Being that much of a loser that you pretend you're a regular on a Nicaraguan Cigar Trading forum, after creating a blog post on it

You reek of fake internet points it's pathetic. Go back to your containment website.

>going down escalator with my friend and a random behind us
>I'm at the front
>Group of cuties going up on the other side
>One yells over "you 3 have the same haircut!"
>The guy at the front pulls it off the best!
>What's your name?!
>Anon
>You're fucking hot anon!
>Her friend yells "she has a boyfriend!!"

>>41693770
"Harassed"

>>41694108
>be me
>Working as a grocery store clerk so I can pay off my med school loans
>taking care of a customer when all of a sudden this skinny short guy walks up behind them
>He starts randomly posing for some reason? idk
>Finish first customer, move onto this guy
>He's still posing for some reason, I stare at him trying to figure out wtf he's doing
>He looks me in the eye and says "You miring, brah?"
>I look down at his groceries to keep myself from laughing
>It's four gallons of milk and seven containers of dry oats
>The whole time he keeps saying things like "I'm fucking Siss, brau" while still posing
>Finish scanning his stuff, he carries all the bags in his hands without using his cart
>Hear him yelling "LIGHT WEIGHT BABY" over and over again as he leaves the store.

>>41694005
This is the service I pay for.

>>41694128
>Cramming as many of the new memes you've seen this week into one post in an attempt to feel better about the fact you just arrived here.

'Mirin threads are a staple on this board.

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>>41694128
>Nicaraguan Cigar Trading forum
oh wow you gave 4chan a meme name, how 'in' are you anon? can we be as cool as you

>>41694521
>>41694586
what are you so ass-blasted about? are you the same deranged person who spammed the (now closed) woman-hating thread with walls of mumbo jumbo text?

>be me with my gf a club
>she is dancing in front of me looking at the stage
>really hot brunette with big tits, tiny waist and an awesome ass is looking straight at me
>i'm also staring at her
>my gf tells me she is going to get a beer and i tell her i'm going to the bathroom that is on the oposite way
>brunette follows me
>when i opened the door of the bathroom someone grabs my shoulder
>brunette hugs me and tell me that she wants me so bad
>idk what to do so i tell her i can't and i try to push her
>she grabs my hands and put on her tits and try to kiss me
>my gf get there and saw everything
>she leaves crying
>i go after her and after about 5 hours explaining everything she forgives me
>three months later i break up with gf to fuck brunette
>we dated for 2 weeks though

>>41694657
kek

>>41694248
kek/10

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>be in the gym
>approach bench
>two cardio bunnies doing some dumb shit around it
>"hey guys, can I work out here?"
>one of them smirks at me and says "no"
>they both go to the side

W-were they flirting with me?

>>41694248
laughed.good work son

>>41694368
If you don't bring a 20 question quiz to a hooker you're just wasting your money desu

>Back in college, I used to take a walk around campus at night because it helped me sleep
>6'4", probably around 10-12% bf
>walk past a bar
>small herd of hippos grazing outside
>when I get closer, notice it's actually 3 black women
>"mmm, look at you"
>"hey baby, you into big girls?"
>no, not really
>"fuck u den"
>keep walking

Mildly uncomfortable

>>41695091
>Not having your hooker take a question pertaining to your entire personality before fucking it

Come on lads, you're throwing your money away.

>>41694134
>Her friend yells "she has a boyfriend!!"
Okay, so this is my sense of this bullshit. Girls with boyfriends/husbands are way more agressively trying to flirt for validation because they have a safety net. Thats my take on it. I recently had a coworkers wife trying to enlist me into having an affair + a few other chicks in committed relationships looking to hook up. Me being a /pol/ tard traditonalist and also sort of a beta pussy went along with the phone games not saying no because i hate rejection so i have empathy towards people who get rejected and dont want to do it myself..

Long and short of that is that i got drunk and revealed my powerlevel telling her she was aging like milk and women over 30 with kids have zero value.. lel, me and her husband are still cool though, he's 6'4 and a powerlifter for 10 years, basically a giant, and i'm 5'8 and bald.. Women are fucking trash.

>>41695351
You're a good man, my dude. Found out my ex gf was flirting with guys for the last two weeks of our relationship before she broke up with me for being "too different".

Now I make mad money working a government job and she's single and stuck in her college town because she didn't get picked up for graduate art school. (she likely never will). So suck it Nikki, you fat pig.

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, she def flirted bc she thought she could do better, but she broke up with me and it seemed like she lost a lot of her "game" with guys, bc last I heard she hasn't been doing too well for herself.

Women are terrible, desu.

>>41695442
I try to be good like that, but declining pussy takes a fucking toll, dude.. And this chick was fucking cool to talk with also. I'd probably date her and take her shit kids if it wasnt for this situation. She backed me into a corner and i let her have both barrels and peppered her with redpills. But she married that dude in september last year..

She claims i fucked her at a party there last christmas, but i dont remember shit. And the husband says she's a chronic liar, so that might just a way to rope me into her bullshit. She said she loved me an all kinds of nonsense, just trying to feed my ego.. But i'm a fucking wreck and instantly mistrust anyone giving me a compliment. My dick isnt happy about it though. I lift to get a retarded 19 year old, and then fuck her mom.

>>41695530
>I lift to get a retarded 19 year old, and then fuck her mom.
Literally nothing wrong with that, anon

>>41694248
my sides are in origae-6

From a while ago:

>at club with friends
>go to the bar to grab a drink, friends are off standing in a circle a little ways away
>feel a hand start rubbing my back
>look to my right and a girl slides up beside me and is rubbing my back

Decent looking but was early in the night and I wasn't very drunk so decided to just go keep hanging with friends and leave her

Another:

>at dance bar
>go outside to have a smoke, sit on a little concrete step
>girl follows me outside and sits next to me, asking for a cigarette
>we're smoking and she says "I don't usually say stuff like this, but can I be honest?"
>"sure"
>"you're really hot, we should hang some time."
>"okay sure, let me get your number"

Texted her later to come over when we left the bar... she asked what my name was again, I told her and she never responded. I was confused for a bit until I found out she's good friends with another girl I hooked up with who's a bit crazy.

Not even really /fit/, just tall and relatively handsome

>>41695661
Here is a freepill.. Girls do what their friends tell them to do. Every girlfriend circle you run into is a fucking cult. You can be 11/10 and if you got outstanding warrants with the boss bitch, non of her friends will be fucking you.

>>41694005
>bloody type
for fooks sake innit i've had it with you git bastards and your bloody type down here innit!

>>41695140
aren't you a little old to be writing imaginary stories anon?

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>>41693770
>"look at you on your little bike"

THEMS FIGHTIN WORDS, BITCH

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>>41695808
idk why but this made me laugh, good job anon

>>41695351
women always want to "marry up". in this scenario you have to consider not only the girl with the boyfriend but also her friend shouting that fact out.

they're competing for anon. the girl with the boyfriend thinks anon is better than her chump boyfriend so she flirts with him. her friend thinks anon is better than which ever seat on the cock carousel she was last on so she throws this curve ball in order to shame her friend and thereby secure anon for herself.

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>>41695720
wrong

>>41695661
at the club its good to have a few girls interested in you at once.

>>41695808
that tattoo is fucking amazing

>>41695720
kek, I know that. There are some exceptions, though. I had a thing for a few months with one chick my freshman year and I guess she and her friends were at dinner talking about guys they didn't want the others to hook up with... This chick only said me. Hooked up with her friend a couple weeks later anyways. W/e.

>in bed with one girl
>"God Anon, you're so hot"

>another, in bed
>"jeez you could get any girl you wanted"

>another, in bed
>"wow you have big arms... I want you to fuck me so bad"

Idk if bed compliments count though

I'm not sure if this one qualifies as a mirin' story
>at a bar, been dancing with buddies for a bit
>look over to bar area, see a qt I hooked up with a few months ago
>walk over to her, start making conversation
>put arm around her, about to ask bartender for a couple drinks for us
>out of nowhere "so when are we going back to your place?"

whew, wasn't expecting it to be that easy

>>41695974
>wrong
Not that anon, but from what I've seen that seems entirely true.

>Doing sheiko, 3 plate squats for reps
>thick blonde powerlifting girl in gym comes up and asks me if I compete
>we talk about squats, technique, competing
>also asked her about her maxes.
>turns out I only outweigh her by 3 kg (we are the same height at around 170 cm)
>I'm at 78, she's lower body powerlfiting booty thick at 75 kg.
>I say no way you are 75 kg and we have a little laugh about it
>she asks me about my max on squat
>tell her 4 plates for a triple
>she is impressed
>continue talking a little more before she says she won't distrub me during my sets (was doing warm up for DL)
>imagine life together

A GIRL came to me (manlet, dyel sub 400 wilks) and initiates a convo.
>mfw nobody should be impressed by my stats
>mfw chasing the horizon
>mfw now I have to acknowledge her existence in gym and i'm an autist if I talk about anything outside powerlifting

>>41696060
>talk about lifting
>then talk about diet
>talk about food
>now ask her out for a nice dinner
Thst was complicated heh

>>41696060
Talking to people, especially grills isn't that complicated, you just have to learn how to steer a conversation without making it obvious. What >>41696132 works pretty well if you know how to do it without straight up stopping the conversation to change gears everytime you wanna move to another topic.

Also don't talk for too long, you are at the gym after all. And don't seem too eager, women can smell that shit a mile away.

Good luck anon, I believe in you.

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>BJJ this week
>drilling closed guard sweep
>inside friend's closed guard
>he has to get his arm across my back and hook my armpit
>can't reach it
>"Dude wtf, I never realized your back was this wide."
>he forgot to say no homo
>sit on his face during sparring

It's only gay if you make eye contact.

>>41695808
This tattoo get better the longer you look at it.

>>41695974
>wrong
Grow up.....

>>41693787
You are such a faggot. What the fuck would this board consist of if not for threads like this? Fitness AND RELATED. This is the fucking goal of every single turd on this board. So please go shove your dad's dildo up your stretched asshole and fuck right off.

>>41694653
Hello , reddit

>>41694005
>and post number

kek

>>41696871
Actual fitness related topics? You can go back to /soc/ and reddit you faggot.

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>>41694248
Here's a (You)

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>Out at a bar with my roomie
>I'm a rugby player 6'1" 200 lbs and he's a former college football player 6'4" 230 lbs.
>both wearing cowboy boots so we're an inch or two taller
>great cover band is playing, so I'm dancing and enjoying myself
>go back to get another drink
>2 girls approach us and 1 says "you guys know you're really good looking, right?"
>we're kinda taken aback by the directness
>they say "omg they know! hehehe"
>we try to keep talking to them, but they play all coy and keep skittering off to their friends as if they weren't the ones to approach us.
>still felt good to be hit on

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>>41698569
>wearing cowboy boots

>>41693770
>going to the gap to buy a belt
>at red light
>van next to me, notice passanger moving around waving and look
>its some teenage girl blowing kisses at me
>look confused and cock my head to the side
>she starts laughing and rolls her window down and screams "oh my god youre adorable"
>van door swings open and its three more girls in the back and they are saying how cute I am and giggling

>another time, looking for something in the mall
>ask random old mexican lady is she knows the directions
>right after I ask her, she just says "my god youre handsome"


I dont know if they were being serious or just messing with me

>>41698616
Yeah, you're right. I was never a fan of them but I had to get some for a wedding. Big heels add a couple inches, so I'll wear them when I go out with my roommate cuz he's tall as shit and I don't want to look too tiny next to him.

>>41694134
Where they like 13 ?

>>41694108
I hate this. Fucking women freeze up when I talk to them and it kills the interaction for me. It's ok to be awkward but don't fucking go full sperg, you're not a clam and I'm not prying a pearl out of you

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>at work
>manager says "hey stud muffin" and slaps me on the ass
>literally 15 years older than me
>literal sexual harassment
>flattered me enough to post on here

>>41695720
>the boss bitch


YASSS

SLAY QUEEN!

>>41695954
Could it be that this was just a fun thing to add? Like what guys would do?

>>41695661

how tall we talkin?

>>41698750
>at work, manager from another store comes to work with us
>normal interaction, nothing special or weird
>later that night get friend request
OK w/e we work at the same company
>immediately get message
>hey
You know you're in for a fun convo when it's all lowercase
>wait 10 minutes "Hey what's up?"
>immediately responds back with a picture of himself, nude from the waist up, making a "sex face" and toying his fat gut & belly button
>u like wat u see
>another picture pops up of his fat guy dong, all tiny and beaten to death
>screenshot
>block
>print
>take to corporate
>fired that faggot within a week

My work mire story, don't even feel bad

>>41693770
>Be me
>anti social
>School, lift, play video games and go to bed very day

>Ride bike home from gym
>Girls coming on scooter
>Honk at me from a distance
>Flexes with duckface
>I just do the fucking Dennis wave
>Cycle home

Why do I always feel so fucking awkward and shit. I liked being mired, but fuck, afterwards i feel like i acted like an autist

>>41694248
kek

>>41698750
Let him know you'd like to hang out after work for drinks.

>>41698888

check'd

Now you >>41698750 have to do it

>>41698888
Its a her.
If it were a him i wouldent be flattered

>>41694005
Kekd

>>41698862
Handled perfectly

>be me
>at bus stop
>qt3.14 is looking at my arms
>she's probably 16
>flexes a cep
>she giggles and i do too
>bus arrives
>pick her up to show her how strong i am
>badmove.jpg
>she screams her lungs out
>everyone on bus glares at me
>drop her on the curb then sprint away at full speed

>>41694134
I would be legit embarrassed and would have just ignored those cows

>>41695063
yes. duh.

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>>41698629

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>>41694248
>I'm fucking Siss, brau
top fucking kek

>>41696024
how many plates till they throw themselves at you?

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>>41693770
>I didn't like them calling my bike little

>>41693770
>ivanka's plastic surgery face is starting to wear down
do not want

>>41699115
Hahahahahaha

>>41698754
honestly fuck these annoying bitches

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>>41699115
dude wtf

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>>41693770
>didn't like them calling my bike little

>>41698787
6'3"

>>41699481
they don't usually throw themselves at me, I've got friends who lift less and get more ass desu. They're in better shape than I am though, I've got some tub on me.

I bench about 275, squat 325 and DL ~415.

>>41695442
Man if theres one thing that pisses women off, its seeing the guy that they broke up with doing better than he was before. I've known lots of girls who fucked up by cheating on their bf, they break up, he does really well for himself, and they are so fucking bitter about it, yet still too stupid/prideful to realize they are the ones who fucked up.

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>>41693770
> Be shopping for clothes.
> See a cool hoodie, want to try it on.
> Group of girls start walking by me as I take off my current hoodie to try it on.
> Just be in a t-shirt now.
> They literally stop mid conversation. Continue walking towards me.
> Hear nothing but 'ummm .... uhhh ....' filler words as they're walking by.
> Hear 'holy fuck' and 'yeahs' when they're past me.

I got mired at my uni by a random girl who I've never seen before (because I just stay in class all the time) and never seen since but I have an idea of which one is her class. What's the next step? she looked like a basic bitch but kinda cute and I'm extremely socially inadequate

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>>41693770
> Be at college
> Sitting in study hall in the afternoon. It's dark outside because my city gets dark early in the winter.
> Study hall is made up of mostly a mix of glass and solar panels. They basically become mirrors when it's darker.
> See a cute classmate in the reflection. She's clearly staring at me but unaware I can see her in the window.
> See her bite her lips and rub her hips. She literally swaying her hips on her wheeled chair like she's riding dick.
> I eventually leave but as I'm packing I can see her be disappointed that I'm going.

Good god I've never seen such obvious body language before. Really made me feel good about myself.

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>>41694248

>>41699115
Top fucking kek

>>41698724
I dunno man
Thats a pretty good analogy

Things that never happened: The Thread

>>41697764
>Actual fitness related topics
Most of the board is fph, cbt and "is my form okay on this?" and two of those would be not fitness related according to your definition.

>>41700009
>>>/r/eddit

Go be a bitter cuck over there.

>>41693862
Probably left you because you use words like bae. You stupid little dick bitch

>go to get a blazer tailored (fuck you OHP and my massive shoulders)
>tailor's shop is really small and filled with clothes
>in one corner there's a few mirrors and a small thing to stand on where he can measure you and across from it are two chairs
>says put it on and step up there and I'll be with you in just a moment
>putting it on
>two old fat black ladies walk in
>i step up on the thing and turn around and look at the one who is sitting down
>"OHH IM SORRY I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY TO THROW AT YOU OOHHH"
>laugh awkwardly as this girl hood (it's a bad area) fat black girl eyes me up while the other one pays the tailor for her son's/brother's hemmed prom pants
>tailor takes forever processing her credit card
>have to stand there pretending to fix my color and my sleeves while this BBB eyes me up

>>41699184

Im not sure what this face is supposed to convey

i sent pics of myself in cute panties (male) to a girl and she said she nutted to them

>>41699115
LOL

>>41698724
Well, I am trying to pry them open... but no one is pulling out

>>41699930
Why not bang?

>>41699736
Quit fucking lying if you are 6'3" and pull four hundy you got your pick of the litter, unless you're boogie big your height alone is enough to smash most.

>>41693787
Kek

>>41694005
Kek

>>41698873
What is the Dennis wave anon?

>>41700616
Dunno what you mean by boogie big

Maybe it's because I played football all throughout high school, but it didn't take long at all for me to hit 415 DL and my legs really aren't very big. I'm reasonably well built but I'm definitely not shredded or huge and I've got some fat on me. 215 lbs

>>41700033
most of this board is meme dieting (keto, water fasting, paleo), is this achievable natty, relationship advice, tfw no gf, sips, feels fags, no fap, tinder, and blog threads about """mires""" so yeah you can fuck off. The only decent part about this site are the generals particularly /owg/ which is mostly dead and /plg/ where half the people posting are sean clones.

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>>41694248
>tell story of admiration from a qt3.141592653589793238462643383279502...
>reword story of admiration into the qt3.141592...'s favor
>laughter
works
EVERY
time

tgirls?

>>41700869
>relationship advice, tfw no gf, sips, feels fags, no fap, tinder
And this is better than the blog posts how?

>>41700859
maybe its cuz guys fuck u in ass as u dream of being alph

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>>41696024
>in bed with one girl
>"God Anon, you're so hot"

>another, in bed
>"jeez you could get any girl you wanted"

Ive gotten both of these before i even started lifting
>tfw tom cruise tier facial genetics

>>41701163
is larping this hard fun?

>>41701073
Almost certainly desu

>>41695789

Out of all "mirin" stories on "/fit," you decide to call out mine. Are you one of the fat black women in my story?

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>>41694248

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>>41700550
She had (and still does) have a boyfriend. Just because it was obvious she wanted to bang doesn't mean she was unfaithful. It happens a lot actually. I honestly find that young married women do this the most.

>>41701223
I kinda admire overconfident im opposite

im rich n tall n handsome but act too timid

was over a dime brazilian girls house on first date grabbing her round ass n big fake tits and she didnt call back because she probly wanted my cock in her ass

i was too tired from being blown by a tranny earlier in day

>>41695720
fake news

>>41693770
"harassment"
fagot

>>41693770
>> Two girls waiting for a cab downtown
Most likely prostitutes. We're they hanging out on a corner? I don't think they were waiting for a cab, my man.

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>>41694248

HOW TO GET MIRE 101

> Be Caucasian
> Come live in Japan
> Act like a man
> Profit

>>41702020
Same in Korea desu.

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>>41694248
>>Hear him yelling "LIGHT WEIGHT BABY" over and over again as he leaves the store.

>>41693862
autism fag trying to sound like a normalfag
NO straight male says bae
kill yourself you disgusting piece of shit

>>41702121
This is typical fare for 4chan but this made me kek for some reason

>>41694005
Kek

>>41699115
I like the effort.

>>41701225
the thing is they at least make theirs seem realistic,this seems so stereotypically retarded and cringeworthy I thought i was on leddit for a second visiting r/le red pill

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>>41693770
>In the sauna after the gym
>girl in there already
>milf, 7/10, not bad
>mires me as I walk in, I look pretty good post pump
>I jump on top shelf, she's on the bottom near the door
>I notice her checking me out, I play that shit cool
>I catch her eye as I'm looking round she stares at me dead in the eye, puts her foot on the door and smiles
>*autism increases*
>my girlfriend has just finished at the gym, walks up to the glass door can see her with her foot on the door handle staring at me and my autistic response face
>girlfriend opens door, mirin milf leg flies off girlfriend sits next to me, states her down
>most awkward 5 minutes ever begins
>milf leaves
>girlfriend tells me two other girls were in the female changing room talking about how good i looked
>girlfriend isn't jealous she starts miring me as well
>mfw I am admired

>>41695720
Disagree

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>>41703050
>puts her foot on the door and smiles
>>my girlfriend has just finished at the gym, walks up to the glass door can see her with her foot on the door handle staring at me and my autistic response face
>>girlfriend opens door, mirin milf leg flies off

What does this even mean?

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>>41703050
>she's on the bottom near the door
Why the fuck was she even in the sauna? Or is this a clapistan "sauna" where throwing water on the rocks is forbidden and everyone's fully clothed?

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>>41700869
Why so salty? Never got mired, dyel?

>>41693770
>on travel for work
>check into hotel and am walking to my room
>two young black chicks are leaving the pool wrapped up in towels
>one of them says, "hi, daddy" and the both giggle
They def wanted my fat white dong

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I got 'mired by the qt barista at starbucks. It was nothing big, but it was one of those unmistakable "this guy is cute" looks.

Hard to explain, but it was nice getting a undeniable, straightforward mire. Pretty good ego boost.

>>41698862

No out of court settlement? Doing it wrong, nigga

>be me
>not fit, but decent looking
>2 friends and 1 of their gfs comes to my place to play league
>we do this two or three times a week
>friends gf is a known whore but is cute with tight body
>friends gf mirin, i notice
>friends gf is sitting at an angle where if i had a boner only she could see it and not my friends
>slide my cock out of my boxers so it is visible through my basketball shorts
>boner ensues
>friends gf mires hard
>DMs me in league while we're all still in the room with a wink face
>adrenaline
>admit part of this to friend later when were drunk
>friend dumps gf
>a week later friend caves and takes gfs side
>doesnt friend me anymore

She ended up giving him herpes

posters in this thread

kys

If a girl says hi to you and she grabs your upper arm, does it mean she likes you? It was a Brazilian girl with some amerindian features so my autistic self figured that Brazilians are probably more physical with each other than we here in Northern Europe

>>41703779

Has he forgiven you, or is he still salty and herpes ridden?

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>>41693770
summer is rolling in and I'm about to hit the 1 year anniversary since I started going to the gym. This just recently happened (as in last couple of weeks);

>sisters birthday barbecue, I'm grillin' coz I'm a good cooker
>8/10 grill is talking to me while I grill
>"Next time I'm doing a barbecue can I use you as a cook? You look like you know what you're doing :)"
>Full autismo "hehehe sure!"
>It's hot as fuck in the sun, mention that I'd almost like to remove my t-shirt if this wasn't a social event
>"Well anon don't mind me, go right ahead :) "
>"Hehehe, nah my sister would get mad"

A few days later
>Doing yardwork
>no shirt on, free tan and I can show off my straight outta DYEL body
>"Anon, turn around!"
>House maid is taking a picture of me
>"You look like a movie star with those muscles!"
>"Hehehe thanks"

Well, it's not much, but I'm taking it. Finally making it!

>>41704066
>>"Next time I'm doing a barbecue can I use you as a cook? You look like you know what you're doing :)"
>>Full autismo "hehehe sure!"

What should you answer in this situation?

>>41702020
>caucasian
>going to japan
>"act like a man"
total retard. you are not man

>>41704035
yep, if she is civilized
if not she will go straight for the cock

t. Brazilian

>>41704075
"well, you know what they say, kiss the cook! haha"

>>41704075
something about how you will bring the special sauce

>>41704104
pfff idk if my response was more autismo than yours but nice one
>>41704117
>something about how you will bring the special sauce
straight out of a porn movie kind of bad

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>Go to anime con
>Girl I'm rooming with starts talking to me about sexual stuff she's tried out when we're both drunk tipsy at a room party
>I mention wanting to try out bondage
>She tells me "ooohhh I've wanted to try that out too"
>Inadvertently called her fat apparently, I think it's because I said something like "a lot of con goers are fat and I don't want to sleep with them" and she said "but I'm fat", just told her nah and moved on
>Was touching arm/shoulders during the conversation
>She comes into my room later only wearing panties with her sleeping bag
>Keeps asking me to make her scrambled eggs again (I made eggs before and she really fucking liked it)

Was she wanting to fug or just teasing me
Kissless virgin I cant tell with this shit

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>>41693936
>cancer from 2007 onwards thinks 4chan is all about le epic greentext memes XDXD
>boards like 7chan were created to avoid this bullshit
>now even they are forced to use le epic greentext memes to get traffic
>i am using greentext right now because i am cancer from 2012

>>41704066
>Full autismo "hehehe sure!"
youre normie as fuck dude, not autistic. just because you shitpost on 4chan it doesnt make you one of us

>>41704223
>scrambled eggs

yes anon everyone knows that scrambled eggs is con lingo for the horizontal mambo

>>41704223
Oh same con
>Meet up with fem roommate's friend
>She mistakes me asking for her hotel room for her phone #
>Gives it to me just like that
????

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>>41704223
>You want some egg

>>41704223
>you have to eat all the eggs

>>41693770
i get this too senpai, bike mires are good

only surpassed in magnitude by oldguy mires
>no homo

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>>41704238
>>41704252
>>41704271
They were the only thing the AirBnB had in the fridge

>>41704223
im laughing so hard
>chubby girl just wanted eggs anon
>give the girl eggs, fuck

>>41704223
Bruh she wanted to smash

>visit buddy at work in tanktop because sunny day and just waited for him in the reception
>small talk with qt receptionist
>buddy walks in
>"soooo why don't you two take me with you for coffee? You look like fun :)"
>no

>walk outside to car
>random 45 year old guy yells at me "looking huge man! Looks great!"
>talk with him about fitness and he goes on old man rant about people being whiny fucks and How he beat cancer and is back into lifting

>post workout pump, go to sushi bar where I used to work
>tank life with pump best life
>chink boss touches shoulders and arm, saying I keep on growing

>talk to professor at uni
>you've been getting bigger again anon, I enjoy seeing that
>no homo Bert

>go out for pool with friend
>have fun time, I actually beat him for once (only cuz he necked the black ball in himself)
>NORMIE girls next to our table
>"why don't we all play vs each other?"
>banter and kek a bit with everyone
>some NORMIE girl proposes a tournament where we all win a prize at the end
>what is said prize?
>"if You win you get to do anything you like mr gym ;)"
>what if you win?
>"then you're coming home with me right after this :)"


Tfw gf but we are LDR for 5 months temporarily, life is hard

>>41693770
Had a coworkerr feel my chest and face earlier infront of everyone at work. It was so uncomfortably good that i blushed kek

>>41694657
You suck at stories/10

>>41695720
This post was written by a stupid woman

>>41704051

He threatened to sell me out to the police (already got caught since) over his herpes ridden whore girlfriend, so I haven't spoken with him / actively avoided him. it's been almost 2 years.

He was my main bro, and i still miss him, but he chose the cuck route.

>>41704446
>He threatened to sell me out to the police (already got caught since)
What did you do?

>>41704500

smuggled mexicans across a checkpoint, got caught after a few runs. he threatened to expose the operation to police (get us both killed) over his whore girlfriend being a whore. he knew the jist of it because he went with me on one of the runs and met the people in charge

>>41704500
Guessing sexual harassment or whatever the related charge to getting your dick out unsolicited would be

>>41704547

It wasnt out, it was just obvious through my shorts if you took a look. which she did

Does a girl telling you over and over how good you are at eating pussy and asks how you know exactly what to do count as getting mired? I make brief eye contact with women in public all the time but I'm pretty sure it's not mires and it's just people being people. I only ever get straight up hit on by desperate fatties. The girl who thinks I'm a cunnilingus wizard was hot and i started to fall for her but now she won't even talk to me because she doesn't want a serious relationship. My love life is a mess tbqh

>>41704556
Oh misread story. What was he gonna sell you out over then?

>>41704329
based anon. legend

>>41704566

I got drunk at this house i was babysitting, he was there as was his gf, i was spin-level drunk and i'm a lightweight. I was throwing up and he came to check on me, and when he did, i just blurted out "break up with her bro" and he was like "what" and then i said she acted weird on me like borderline sexual, which she did. he dumped her on the spot but then took her back a week later and flipped to her side and cut ties with me after threatening to sell me out

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>>41704066
>that filename

>>41695063
I would've spaghetti'd hard has a motherfucker. That's such alpha female behaviour I probably would've just spread my ass cheeks due to some recessed primal instinct to get pegged

>>41704575
yfw this is actually a true story, all happened in the last month

>>41701205
Its true tho

>>41695442
I feel horrible for wanting this to happen with the girl who stopped dating me because I told her I wouldn't mind getting serious. Like she didn't exactly do anything to me, but I'm a pussy and think she doesn't realize what she had. I want her to recognize it eventually even if it's gonna be too late by the time she does.

>>41704223
She wanted to you to bust inside her, get her a morning after pill and "scramble her eggs"

>>41704238
I think it's when you make her suck your balls, possibly while saying "you have to eat all the eggs"

For God's sake can at least some of you guys go gay? seriously you'd have twinks hanging off you like some kind of gay garden of Eden tree.

>>41704223
if you'd made a move when she came into your room you could have fucked you autist.

You people baffle me.

>>41704752
I'm more inclined by the possibility of a Frasier reference here, albeit more obscure and snobbish

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>guy at work asks me on a date
>this is the first time, ever, I have been asked on a date
>he tells me he noticed me because I look like tomoko
>unsure of how to feel about this

regardless, I have been putting an effort into my appearance for the last few months, so I will count the fact that I was asked on a date for the first time as a success.

>>41704546
Well, at least you got caught.

>>41704087
Herbivore detected.

>>41693770
I refuse to believe any heterosexual man has ever had sex within 24 hours of riding a bicycle

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>>41704752
Kek'd so hard

>>41704906
>he says you look like chinese cartoon

Not a chick but I'd be insulted tbqh

>>41704906
>he tells me he noticed me because I look like tomoko
>unsure of how to feel about this

Tomoko is cute so you should take it as a compliment you huge nerd

>>41704970
im pretty sure lance "no nuts, only guts" armstrong got hella pussy

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>>41704906
>h-hey you remind me of this creepy loser with rape fetish from a chinese cartoon i masturbate to
>p-pls be my waifu

>>41704906
Are you a grill?

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>>41704752

>>41699825
>Be shopping for clothes
>See a guy looking around shifty
>Seems he wants to try it on right there in the middle of the shop instead of going to the fitting booths
>He tries to take his hoody off
>Looks like the time we duct taped a sweater to the family dog
>Arms can't reach behind him
>All the girls are speechless at this display of inflexibility
>Eventually we pass him
>"He looked like that sgt weenie arms from the cartoon"
>"Holy Fuck" "Yeah" "You're right"

>>41704546
>smuggled mexicans across a checkpoint
What the fuck? You should be arrested and shot for treason to be honest, anti-white traitor scum

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>>41694248
roflmao

>>41704223
>She comes into my room later only wearing panties
>she literally came into this autists room with her tits hanging out
>he didn't fuck her
You are too stupid to live

>>41708379
Oh whoops, she was in a shirt too

>be me the guy
>sexy girl in class of school
>you are big guy she say
>im large for you
>she waters
>my penis invades soon
>she evaporate
>it was good she say
>me too i say
>go to house
thank fitness i am mirror yesterday and maybe today

>>41696300
only gay if balls touch desu

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>>41704329
>if you win you get to have sex with her
>if she wins she gets to have sex with you

>>41702754
I doubt he's lying anon, black people in general are very forward when dealing with the opposite sex, and its even more believable with an older woman/ younger guy. Hell, I got mired by middle aged black women plenty of times before I even started getting fit, althought I do have face/frame/height

>>41704075
Tell her she can use you any time she wants, you're only a phone call away. God damn I'm no smooth talker of PUA but this one was easy

>>41694005
>I would remember your birth date, bloody type and post number if i got paid too

Most underrated post. top KEK!

>>41693770
>trump wants to fuck ivanka
>cant because she's his daughter
>cucked by the prime minster of cuckada

>>41704970
What is wrong with riding a bicycle

>>41699825
>Hanging out with my gurrl squad <33
>Pass a balding short guy who takes off his hoodie
>His arms are like noodles and he is pale as a corpse
>As we pass we enter an unholy stench
>It smells like the breath of a dog mixed with diarrhea
>The fucking creep smiles at us as we gag
>Turn to my friends and we all agree this is the worst BO we ever have smelled

>>41708427
Kill yourself

>>41711195
You kill yourself

>>41704329
>>"if You win you get to do anything you like mr gym ;)"
>>what if you win?
>>"then you're coming home with me right after this :)"
well, who won?

>>41707935
>>41710781
TRY AGAIN FAGGOTS

>be overweight grill
>haven't showered
>on period
>wear jeans and hoodie because I feel and look like shit
>walk down a street in town
>get hit on

I know men are degenerates, but come on I'm nowhere near my goal weight

>Compliment sister when she visits by telling her she's notably lost weight, not that she was ever anywhere near 200 in the first place
>"Thanks bro, I noticed you looked good with your shirt off earlier."
>Other sister comes home to visit a few weeks later
>"So I heard you've been working out. Show me your arm!"
>Flex a 'cep
>"Oh wow!"
I-I'm doing 'em proud lads

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>>41711490
Don't forget too post your incest threesome story once you made it

>>41701336
No. They were trying to flag down a cab. Not just standing around. I didn't just assume they wanted a cab you cock.

>>41704970
Had to get to the pussy somehow.

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>>41694248

>>41695442
My girlfriend recently told me she isnt sure if she still loves me and i wouldnt be surprised if this is going on whiles shes at work.

>>41701026
I know that feel

>>41704271
Kek

>>41708320
Lmao dude your stormfagging isnt going to make girls interested in you, sorry to kill the reason you're unsecure

>>41704546
Kys

>>41704602
>"alright but there's some space so I'm going to work out here anyway"
>no just means try again in girl lingo

>>41700189
>she
>nutted
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>>41700616
Well spotted the delusional manlet. The grass is not that green on the otherside bud.

>>41696204
>>41696132
underrated af

getting to the ask with a girl is literally like writing a good philosophy paper

1) It's not autistic and a pain in the ass to make sense of
2) It has logical flow

inb4 some brainlet going

>lmfao betafag nerd pretending

>>41698873
what's the dennis wave?

lmao get check'd
>>41708320

tbqh this country needs a larger labour force
>>41711827

>>41699115
Rip..

>>41704104
supremely autistic response

>>41708401
do you really think she would be open enough to walk in your room in her panties if she didn't want to fuck you?

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>>41707935
>Looks like the time we duct taped a sweater to the family dog

wait other people do this too?

>>41694248
im high rn, literally made me laugh for 5 min straight

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>having a pool party
>guy asks if he can invite some girls
>noshitsherlock.jpg
>girls show up
>9 and 8/10
>sitting on the diving board with my hands on the back of my head
>hear them both quietly say "wow" and look at me
>flex a 'cep
>they both giggle
>get both their numbers when they leave
>ask if they liked what they saw
>"yeah, you should invite me again sometime ;)"
Feels good man
Pic unrelated

>>41713772
your a pedo....

my biggest mire has got to be two halloweens ago. Im out at the bars and see this girl ive been flirting with for a while, we dance, make out, and we are on a bus ride back to campus together. She says shes going to her dorm (im pissed cuz i thought no fuck). Was a shit test so I pretended I didnt care. She then changes her mind and were in my room and start making some fugg, she mired my sense of humor and noob gains. As were going at it, someother girl I was making out with at the bar starts banging on my fucking door. My assholefriend told her where I live. Go to door naked she mires before trying to come in. I tellher im busy and shut door. Go bang qt somemore.

>>41713772
I meant 9/10 and 8/10, they aren't 9 years old

>>41698873
>Dennis Wave

Are we supposed to know what this is

>>41704546
KEK

>>41698750
god, I love some slavoj

>>41698941
even better. Cougars will go for however long you can. They view it as a challenge.

>>41694248

>It's four gallons of milk and seven containers of dry oats

Don't know why that line got me so bad, but it did

>>41694248
this is too old already

>An old fat man just asked me if i wanted to suck his dick
I-it counts right???

>>41694586
you seem like a real faggot

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>at the pool
>qt lifeguard keeps looking over when i'm stopping for a drink in the shallow end
>not massive but lean, good triangle shape going on so pleasantly surprised
>smile and get a smile im return

I wish I was better at kicking off conversations at the pool because this happens very often. When i'm talking to people, all's good. Just gotta start these things. Any tips for an anon?

>>41713359
Pretty sure he only thing I was thinking of was
>Oh she seems comfy in that

>>41695063

instead of "hey guys can i work out here?" you should say:

"you using this?"
or
"how long you got left on this?"

Asking them permission is beta and you set your self up to fail. You should be asking them THEIR situation

I know this seems like such a small detail, but small details are what women live and breath and read into constantly. It reflects on your entire attitude to how you see the world and whether you are alpha or beta.

I could write a whole book on this subject but its not worth your time.

Go to r/theredpill and look up posts on "avoid asking questions"

>>41704602

It was a shit test from them. it is a PRIVILEGE to be given a shit test from a woman as it is FREE REIGN to act like a jerk back and get em wet n sticky

Here is how to SALVAGE (assuming you used the beta opener he did):

>"hey guys, can I work out here?"
>one of them smirks at me and says "no"
Face them fully, big smile, hand on hips
> "Haha. Alright you got me there. What I meant to ask is: How long you got left on this?"
This works 95%

>>41711469
I'm not overweight or anything, but I've been hit on at weird times aswell


>Exam approaching
>Haven't showered for 3 days
>Haven't shaved for weeks
>Wearing hoodie and jogging pants
>Go to the super market, getting some groceries
>6/10 girl keeps smiling at me
>Smile back
>SHE comes over and starts talking to me, obviously flirting
>I'm obviously autistic since I'm on /fit/ so nothing comes of it

I must somehow rock that hobo-look or something, I swear it's happened a few times, and I'm just like a 6/10 myself, maybe 7/10 at best when I dress up and shit, but at that time I was like a 4.5.

>>41702020
Do you enjoy your English teacher job?

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>started at a new gym
>guy who owns the gym comes in with a client
>first time he's seen me without a jacket on
>"Hey, I didn't realize you were in such great shape, you could almost do physique modelling."

I know that I'm still skinnyfat and dyel by /fit/ standards, but by normie standards, I think I've finally made it

>go to work
>work
>go home
>play game
>sleep

>>41716612
anybody want rest of story?

>>41716612
damn
living the good life

>>41698616

why the fuck not?

>>41716626
>repeat
>eventually die

>>41704546

oh I thought you just murdered someone or something. He should have ratted you out immediately you fucking traitor

>>41694005
>ello guv deary innit cuppa u wot m8?

Gee, I wonder if he's British

>>41710781
These were funny the first time, but now you're just pushing it. Unorginal and boring.

>>41711646

If she openly tells you that, leave.

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>>41699115
Jesus Christ

>>41716612
You don masturbate?

>be me
>in a busy grocery store
>waiting in line
>looking around just waiting
>spot qt cashier looking back at like 3 different aisles smiling at me while her line is busy as fuck
>give her a little smile back because I thought she was just looking around
>can spot her from the corner of my eye looking at me
>we make eye contact as I leave
>fuck the store for being busy that day

And no, I wasn't at the same line as her so she wasn't just doing her job as a cashier to smile at customers cuz she was literally looking at me while I was like 3 aisles away and not at the customers In her line

>>41716612
when do you lift?
when do you eat?

anyone get reverse mires? aka fellow men who treat you like shit because you look better than them? and/or, for women, because you're skinnier than them?

>>41704329

> tfw it's a draw so neither of you win and you just go home

>>41716443
autism

>>41693900
She does that for repeat business. You don't pay a girl for sex if she likes you.

>ask girl at work for some work related papers
>she prints the shit
>hands me the stuff, smiles
>smile too
>she says "thank youu"
wait a minute that was my line

i asked her out few weeks later and she literally ignored me then idk, maybe shes just dreamy or something

>>41693770

>go to West Hollywood (the gay area of hollywood) for halloween last year with friends
>go bar/club hopping mainly that night
>had my ass groped by so many men that I genuinely started to question if I might be gay

>>41704446
I mean yeah, I wouldn't want a "friend" around that would try to hit on my girlfriend. I understand why he dropped you, I would have too desu.

>>41698629
You posted on another thread stop spreading weak pasta.

I had two seperate occasion
>be doing lol3plate squat
>old guy looking about 50 compliments me on my form
>tells me about his powerlifting buddies
>says im doing real good

And another time
>have some high school kids come up to me while im squatting
>ask for advice
>tell them about form, technique, nutrition
>they thank me and leave
I'm still not lifting as heavy as i want but man it feels great when people come up to you asking for help, makes me feel like i'm somewhat seen as a respectable lifter.

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pic of my wife mirin me

reddit liked it I thought you guys might like it too!

>be waiting for elevator at summer dorm
>look around and make eye contact with qt asian girl
>qt3.14 smiles at me
>autism strikes and don't know how to react and smile back
>get in elevator and ask her what floor
>she tries to make some small talk about what i was holding and how my day was
>get to my floor
>"have a good morning, oh oops, i mean good night" while smiling

this was yesterday, how hard did i get 'mire /fit/?

am I /C H A D/ for making the qt3.14 stuttering?

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my family, most of them gains goblins. Every time I visit it's
>you eat way too much protein, it's bad for your kidneys
>you should only eat one egg per week, my doctor told me so it's true
>you shouldn't get any bigger/stronger, you're almost starting to look exaggerated now
>big and strong but you couldn't stand a day of manual labor
[spoiler]I'm training because I'm in the military reserves and I'm planning to join professionally next year. I've done 17h straight rucks through the mountains starting at midnight and worked 14h a day with barely 6h sleep every night for about six months. I might not be a mason, but I know what fatigue feels like. I don't know why this is the part that bugs me the most, but it does. Do spoilers even work on /fit/?[/spoiler]

and then there is my gf

>we live together for uni purposes
>every time we have sex, every time I get out of the shower, every time I walk around without a shirt on
>"you're so hot, I don't know how I managed to score you"

the best mires in the world

>>41720697
Does your family read tabloids, believe anything if it looks real enough, and say they will stay out of politics because it's "toxic" yet laugh and call trump an idiot for something like covfefe or bigly?

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>>41694248
>im fucking Siss brau

My fucking sides

>>41720836
not that bad, but they seem to be stuck in the 1980s, my father especially. Oh well.

>>41701163
Post pic or fake

>>41704066
making it bro congrats

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>>41704558
These are the early stages of making it.

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>>41704546
Attaboy anon.

I was mired for the first time and it felt so good. Makes me wanna continue all the pain and effort.

>coworker comes around
>is muay thai pro and does tournaments
>looks at me
>damn youre bulky. Been Lifting?

>>41716497
Ever see a chubby chick with a good frame and think if you could get her in to lifting she'd be hot as hell? That's you to them, they think thats how you always are and that they can use you as a project.

>>41704104
Anon that is quite possibly the most autistic response you could have come up with

>>41694248
>Hear him yelling "LIGHT WEIGHT BABY" over and over again as he leaves the store
help

>>41694657
things that didnt happen/10

>>41698657
>had to get some for a wedding
do you live wyoming by any chance?

>>41696060
You have self esteem issues, bruh.

>>41704066
Cook not cooker you retarded fuck.

>>41718850
>had my ass groped by so many men that I genuinely started to question if I might be gay
thats how they get you anon

>>41693900
wow, she remembered something about you so you feel special! People don't intentionally do that, right ?

>>41693787
kek!

My brother is starting college in the fall and earlier this week I went down to the campus with him for his orientation, since I graduated from the same university (longer ago than I would like to admit), I wanted to take a stroll down memory lane, literally, and eat at some of my favorite old haunts.

Almost everybody we met assumed I was an incoming freshman or current student, one lady even asked if I was a student athlete. It might not sound like a big deal but it meant a lot to me since, well, I am getting older. It was a nice feel and a nice day overall.

>>41704066
thats pretty funny
HEHEHEHEHE
E
H
E
H
E

>>41704329
LDR? You mean a sex vacation for her while your at home staying loyal?

>>41720697
Does being in the reserves help with getting accepted into professional army?

>>41704087
haha quick to judge are you butthurt about something?

>>41716556
haha so true but i'm not teaching english. I do social media marketing and web design. So i still work with my clients from overseas this is why i can travel how i want.

>today at gym
>doing barbell curls
>flexing joocy pump
>look up
>girl on machine across from me looking me dead in the eye
>eye contact for 4 seconds before I break first
>feel beta afterward but lol
>back to workout
>look up again
>she's gone

>>41704066
hehehehehehehehe
hehehehehehehehe
hehehehehehehehe

>>41711646

dude, you're pathetic. grow a fucking backbone and dump her.

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>go to meet my girlfriend at her college library to help her study
>other girl walking past me as I approach library
>very obviously gives me the up and down and smiles shyly as I walk by

other time
>went to restaurant with my mom for mothers day
>mom tells me the hostess was very obviously checking me out

i didn't notice the second one but it's a weird feeling, i'm a recovering fatass (started at 339 pounds now 223 at 6'1) so i'm not used to female attention from strangers.

>Work at supermarket
>7/10 qt comes up to me
>"Hey, I think you're really cute. Could I get your number?"
>>"S-sorry, I can't do that. Not very professional."
>She starts writing something down a piece of paper
>"Well here's my number. If you don't take it, I'll complain about bad customer service."
>>"O-okay."
>"Text me" and she walks off
>Immediately throw it in the bin because I have a 5'3" petite gf who has no gag reflex and I can throw around like a fuck doll.

Fucking whores.

>>41700189
Post the pics lad

>>41720697
"Couldn't stand a day of manual labour"
LMFAO nothing could be further from the truth.

Whenever I do manual labour one offs I always outwork whoever is there with me unless it's something that doesn't require strength but rather skill, in which case I don't work any faster but I try to get it done perfect.

Just last weekend we were digging wet dirt and the guy I was working with said after a few hours "I don't know how you've done what you've done so far"

>>41720460
no you're sad for not asking her out

>>41725083
>before I break first

damn son. however it is quite alpha to understand how important this is. betas never understand and alphas only sometimes do. so you've either already made it or are closely there

>>41726143
I have this shit too, I live in eastern Europe and always get this. Last summer we were rebuilding a stone wall at a family property and I was the only one who could gym handle the heavy stones and did the most work, never got any shit after that.

>>41726344
how would you do that?