fight stories

>>41604968
I got drunk on Christmas last year and wrestled my sister's boyfriend. I thought we were kidding but weren't so I felt rather silly afterwards.

>>41605041
Same! Except it was my wifes brother. We were arguing jokingly then wrestled a little and punched a bit then touched each others dicks and sucked each other off. I was just playing, it was a joke, but he wasnt so i think he might be gay though.

>>41604968
Oh boy. I have

>had my nose broken by sucker punches
>Choked a guy unconscious
>Been bottled
>Broken a guy's fingers outside a bar

>>41605098
There was no dick suckery, but they did break up afterwards.

>>41605101
And that was all at the same funeral.

>>41604968
I've been sucker punched a few times by a 'friend' who had some mental issues. Stopped speaking to him for a few years but he sorted his shit out apparently.
Never been in a real fight though

>playing street fighter on the couch with my bro
>he beats me
>i get angry
>push him to the floor
>start punching his face
>he grabs my dick
>i back off so he doesnt squeeze
>he doesnt let go
>i touch his dick
>he starts stroking
>i get hard
>i spit on his rusty balloon knot
>my cock disappears into his asshole

we were like 14, both have gfs now

Some kid, who I also went to church with, beat me up at school in the bathroom when I was in like 3rd grade.

When I was in 11th grade, he committed suicide by intentionally overdosing on some pleb-tier drugs.

So... I lost the battle but won the war?

I've been punched in the face a couple of times.. Not much of a fighter.

I fought 9 pajeets at once before. Would do it again. The amount of adrenaline flowing through my body was insane I didn't feel anything until the day after and even then only my jaw hurt a bit. It really boosted my ego.

All the fucking time when i was a young blood.

got mobbed by 20 dudes once, dodged a fight with one kid after saying I DONT KNOW YOU over and over again (I swung on one of their buddies, who swung on a buddy of mine, etc)

eventually I ran and came back later there were some strays but the main group was not around so we beefed with them a little

>>41605169
How on Earth did you end up fighting 9 at once?

>>41605101
what's being bottled feel like?

I was harassed a fuckwit at high-school so i picked him up and did a 180 spin and let go and he hit the wall pretty hard and him and his group left me alone after that immature pricks note i was 6'2 in high school and didn't put up with shit.

I barley got into fights it was mostly if any of my friends get beaten up.

>>41604968
A friend was being beaten up by like 5 guys, I enter to separate them, and got sucker punched. I was somewhat afraid, and was just trying to separate people.

Afterwards I was pissed, but it kinda felt nice to feel blood for the first time.

>>41604968
i fought a bunch of the equivalent of hooligans here in brasil, inside a city bus. one of them tried to mug me so i put him to sleep with a punch. then the other monkeys, like 7 of them, started to swing at me. when i got out of their little moshpit, not a single one of them had the guts to keep fighting me, so they left the bus carrying their fallen comrade, lol
they were kinda lucky i wasnt carrying my pocket knife that day

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I got my ass kicked by this huge black kid that was a grade up from me, but was 3 years older because he got held back twice. He beat me up for no reason in eighth grade. I got the last laugh though. In high school when I got my drivers license, my dad gave me his old 87 Chevy Blazer. Built like a tank, all metal. I saw the same kid that beat me up in grade school walking home one day, and I decided to spook him a little by swerving by him going about 60 mph. Unfortunately for him, the piece of shit passengers side door wasn't fully closed, and swung open and cracked him when I swerved. He spent a bunch of time in the hospital and they had to cut a piece of his skull away because his brain was swelling. They released him from the hospital, but then he ended up dying about two years later during my senior year. I'm indifferent to the whole thing, fuck him.

>>41605307
Got in a confrontation with one of them, one of his friends came to sucker punch me, I swing on the dude and catch him square in the middle of his jaw and he buckles, next thing I know I'm surrounded by all of them, I'm being swung at from all directions, all I can think of is to keep swinging back and end up koing 4 of them. They tackled me and kept swinging on me but I was swinging back. My buddies finally came and pulled them off me and then they ran off. It was pretty fun because they were all like 5'5 and 5'8 max and I'm 6 ft 5 235

>mfw I was a victim of a manlet attack

All in all though I was drunk as shit and I'm sure they were too so I don't really wish any ill will on them but it was actually pretty fun.

as cringey as it sounds, i was a really agressive and troubled kid. in highschool, i even had a fight club with a couple kids who needed an outlet. (this was before that gay movie)

>>41605508
i should mention, most of them were probably underage, since the law doesn't do shit when they are. i was too, like 17 years old

I used to fight kids all the time when I was growing up. It took me to finally go to court on an assault charge when I knocked a guy out in the middle of class in my senior year to finally stop.

I love confrontations they make me feel so alive.

Didn't really get into too many fights in highschool because if any passive aggressiveness was shown towards me I would escalate it physically as fast as possible and only some people were really with it but even then they weren't ready.

>>41605169
I've fought 2 at once before.
I don't doubt you at all, they really can't fight.

>>41605528
on one hand you're an idiot for killing some kid because he beat you up once

on the other hand... i hate niggers

>>41604968
What happened anon? Who beat you up?
As long as you actually tried to fight back and didn't go down like a bitch getting your ass beat isn't so bad. For example if they still talk shit you gotta let them know you're ready for round 2.

>>41605307
they roam in packs just like any other animal

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>>41605608

>>41605528
So you basically caused the death of a young man, everyone is a shithead at that age.. i wouldnt doubt that he would have become a better man than you by age 23

>>41605617
Nothing happened. As weird as it sounds, I've just been fantasizing a lot recently about either beating someone's ass to a pulp or myself getting beaten up in a mugging, and all the emotions I would feel as a result of that.

>>41605570
the exact same thing with me. i got charged for assault in my junior year for choking the fuck out of a roastie. he couldnt breath for 20 min in the middle of class

>>41605693
Go try some boxing, same shit.

>>41605634

You're right, he got held back in the third and sixth grade because he was busy developing the cure for cancer.

>>41605528
did u not get in any legal trouble?

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>>41605608

>>41604968
Lost every fight as a kid
Won every fight as an adult

Granted I've been in less than the average man I would imagine. Last incident was little over a year ago where some African refugee tried to mug me, put that nog to sleep quick, was shook up for a while over it.

I didn't want to have disdain for non-whites so much but they don't make it easy.

>>41605693
Well have you ever gotten into any fights?
One of the most pleasing experiences is maturing and becoming friends with the people you've gotten into fights with. I kinda feel sorry for guys who haven't gotten into fights growing up because I remember that same mindset when I was younger of sizing up other dudes and being aggressive

>>41605104
are you trying to fuck your sis bro?

>>41605528
idk how you didn't get into any legal trouble, but good on you. trash like this guy, nigger or no, deserves to be taken out

>mfw bullied as a kid
>mfw repressed rage drives my lifting
>mfw daydream about beating the shit out of cunts
you did the right thing

>>41605830
I have disdain for germanics

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>>41605716
>>41605628
>>41605528

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Some lanklet I worked with had some sort of issue with me and kept doing dumb passive aggressive shit and just giving me a bad attitude. One day while I was closing he comes in drunk and challenges me to a fight, so I simply choked him out. Him and his snarky buddy never bothered me after that. Gif related, what his friend did a few times after the attitude adjustment when he saw me on my shift. Quite the ego boost

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>>41605528
Got 'em.

>>41604968
Bullied a lot in high school. Got in so many fights and eventually was kicked out of school. I didn't even start the fights it was bullshit and the whole school pretty much group bullied me because everybody else was doing it. Got my ass kicked so many times. But also I kicked a lot of ass.

>>41605101
Are you better bottled or canned?

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> high school got bomb threat
> we all go to gym
> go hang out with the seniors in the hallway to between the gym and the practice courts
> coincidentally were on a wrestling mat
> none of them like me because im innocent and dont smoke weed
> still muscular tho
> stoner hands me a scab he picked off himself
> take it, put it in my mouth
> theyre disgusted
> throw it at a manlet ginger
> it goes down his shirt
> he freaks out
> runs over to me and punches me while im sitting down
> I get up
> he punches me about 12 times while I try to grab him
> finally snag him
> grab him and perform a takedown
> his phone falls out
> I grab it
> he apologizes and I give it back

I had never been in anything close to a fight before, so I didnt even think about throwing punches for some reason. It wasnt even real fight, just school fight and guys messing around. Hurt like a bitch though later, I had to skip sprints practice and instead did a long run instead because my back was so fucked up.

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>>41606000
> stoner hands me a scab he picked off himself
> take it, put it in my mouth
Fucking disgusting

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I beat some kid's ass in 5th grade but that's about it. Also snatched the glasses off the face of this asshole who was shooting spitballs at me during classes in my senior year of high school. Snapped them right in half then went AWOL for the day. In retrospect I could had destroyed him but I didn't want to actually hurt him. I have zero patience for being treated that way, and fortunately I haven't had that kind of bs happen to me as an adult.

>>41605528
One less nigger

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>>41606000
>put it in my mouth

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>>41606000

>>41605388
they take a beer bottle and shove it up your asshole when you are unconscious, or in my case pretending to be.

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where do i go to learn self defense? like boxing classes or jiu jitsu lessons?

i feel the need to get in fights but i have no idea how to fight and want to do it for fun, not be an asshole.

>>41606162
>i feel the need to get in fights
nobody in the civilised world needs to get in fights unless they are niggers

>>41606172
>for fun

i just feel like throwing punches and getting hit. i'm not starting shit with people.

>>41606172
Afraid of a little physical pain and competition?

Streetfights are for niggers, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to box or whatever with other dudes.

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>>41606172
>>41606172
Agreed anon
We need more soft twinks and trannies afraid of physical confrontation
This is truly what the civilized men must reach to be

>>41604968
Too many times to count.

>been stabbed
>hit with bottles, bricks
>had nose broken

I used to really enjoy fighting up until my early 20's when I decided to grow up a bit. I've won a lot more than I've lost, even against multiple people.

One of the reasons I stopped fighting is I got into a fight with 6 people when I was 21, one of them pulled my hood over my head and they all kicked the shit out of me. Basically 6 people stomped on my head for what felt like 2 or 3 minutes and I'm pretty sure I got some sort of brain damage from it. 7 years later I still get bouts of headaches, short term memory problems, vertigo, nausea etc. Getting stabbed didn't deter me from violence but brain damage is scary. I don't care about my pride so much nowadays.

>>41605718
>>41605891

Never got in any trouble. If I had to guess, it's because I lived in a city with lots of gun violence, a pretty dangerous place to be a cop. After whoever investigated the whole thing saw the guy posing with guns on his MySpace page, they probably phoned it in and chalked it up as a net gain for society. At least that's what I would guess happened, who knows.

>>41605156
Yes.

>>41606289
No one should ever get kicked on the ground. I thought that was an exclusively nigger tactic.

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>>41606370
daft cunt detected.

>>41606289
howd u get into a fight with those dudes?

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I just graduated a couple weeks ago and I already miss the ments that'd happen in the locker room after gym. Some of my /fit/ friends would want to wrestle me because I did it for sport, and I'd beat them every time. Was a fun ego boost, especially with the rest of us cunts laughing and having a fun time commentating. Nobody got seriously hurt either which is nice

>>41605528

Fucking awesome anon

I think it's the most vain and obnoxious people who think that hurting another person, for whatever reason, is something to brag about.

I have been into a bunch of fights as an adult on account of living in a third world country. After letting myself get beaten up in school by a bully until I had tears, I resolved never to back down from a confrontation.

Here are a bunch of tips for anyone who hasn't been in a fight and gives a shit This is mostly from experience for DYELs like myself

>Most fights last less than 30 seconds
>The one throws the first punch almost always wins
>The taller person has a significant advantage
>It is easier for a shorter person to trip the other guy and flip him on his back
>You can hurt your hand aiming for the jaw, it's better to go for right below the jaw where the neck starts or the nose
>Strangers usually don't intervene unless there's a deadlock with both people having each under some kind of lock
>You can't win a fight with more than one person
>Kicking is foolhardy unless you can keep your distance, even then don't go for anything higher than the knee
>If a person has his back to you, don't wrap you forearm around his neck. Instead grab him by the hair and punch the side of his face
>Your legs will tremble right after a fight and you will find hard to speak without a stutter
>Pain is diminished during a fight probably because of adrenaline, you either to have to beat a person down, put him in a lock or throw him against an obstacle
>Aiming for the balls is harder than it seems
>Run like hell if the other guy has anything resembling a knife
>Keys are a literal fucking weapon
>Clothes usually get frayed from the stitching even if you don't get hit
>A well aimed elbow can fuck you up, no one uses it

>>41606698

pretty much all of this is wrong, but im not DYEL or a fucking bitch

things he got right
>aim for the nose
>run if he has a weapon
>most fights are short
>adrenaline makes your legs tremble and speech stutter sometimes

ways this guy is a fucking idiot
>elbows are fucking GOAT
>always go for the RNC if you get the chance. even if it doesnt end in a submission, it will terrify
>shorter can beat taller. see: elbows
>first punch does not always win. i have never thrown the first punch.
>push kicks are awesome, especially against drunks
and dont forget to kick that bitch while he's down. you need to fucking win, theres no honor here you fucking LARPing faggots

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between 13 and 15 i got into a couple of fights

an older and a little bigger kid from the neighborhood over started some shit with me for some reason and tried tackling me. he couldn't take me down and he was on a perfect position so I put him in a headlock and started choking him out. i said no and didn't stop until he was on the ground. i later heard he joined the army and died in iraq or afghanistan

that same year the neighborhood was playing street hockey and this black kid got mad and tried to hit me with a hockey stick but i caught it and he ran away

my friend's little brother (like a year or two younger) started some shit with me so i put him in the walls of jericho

there was a big hill at my high school that we used to go sledding down in the winter. a manlet from my class (he was like 5'5" i was about 6'0" at that point) who i later learned had just joined the wrestling team decided to try and be badass and take the big kid out. by tackling me by my knees. i probably outweighed him by like 50lbs so i just threw him down the hill

all of these fights were for retarded reasons and i avoided them when i could. watching 90s wrestling saved my ass a few times

the only fight i've been involved in recently was when i was at a bar recently. i was just meeting a couple of my (now ex) gf's friends for the first time, who happened to be manlets. they started some shit outside with a drunk guy and since it was 1 on 1, i wasn't going to step in because I'm not an ape. her dumbass jumped in though and ended up giving herself a concussion.

she got mad at me for not jumping in so i dumped her

>>41604968
I was kinda in a fight Thursday, but it was pretty fucking lame, I was sitting on the patio at the bar and a day time drunk asshole was invading my personal space, so I set up a chair and gave him a light shove so he ended up sitting down in it, and after a few minutes he figured out what I had done and took offense to it, so he stood back up and started swinging at me, so I hit him in the gut twice and sat him back down and then he puked all over himself and apologized.

>>41604968
No, since all my fights other than sparrings ended with one punch knockdowns and that was sufficient to stop them.

>>41605942
Too bad for you niglet.

>>41606426
I got jumped. I was on my own and they were looking to beat somebody up.

>>41605697
Roasties are female you retard

>>41606802
>elbows are fucking GOAT
That's what I said.

>always go for the RNC if you get the chance. even if it doesnt end in a submission, it will terrify
Seen enough people free themselves and flip the other guy on his back, without practice it isn't really easy to pull off in a frantic situation

>shorter can beat taller. see: elbows
Of course, seen it happen only once irl though

>first punch does not always win. i have never thrown the first punch.
I disagree, from personal experience

>push kicks are awesome, especially against drunks
Risking your balance is stupid. Not only is a fight over as soon as someone falls, that's also when people get seriously injured.

>>41607272
yeah but, you're a smol weakling though. kek
>not wrapping your legs around the cunts waist while you choke him
>kicks are risking balance
you should fight more and theorize less boy

>>41605508
I got deja vu reading this post

>>41607301
Yep, ya got to get them hooks in while doing the good 'ol RNC

>be me like a year ago
>in Ukraine for a match
>dumb friend learns some curse in Russian
>keeps on saying them during the match
>match is over dynamo Kiev lost
>go to city centre to have fun
>suddenly 30 beastmode Ukrainians appear
>they are all coming towards us
>all 4 of us ran in different directions
>out of confusion I ran to the gang of Ukrainian
>all I could feel is punches and kicks
>managed to run away
>around 5 of them chased me
>luckily I was faster and got away with a broken nose and a broken jaw

>sitting at the strippers w/ my friends
>getting pretty drunk cause we just go there on cheap draught night
>pretty sure a guy i was friends with in college walks by
>as im trying to get a look at him he notices me staring
>nope turns out its an asshole hockey player i went to high school with (canada)
>this human piece of shit approaches me
>"What the fuck are you looking at?"
>"Not much" i reply
>"What the fuck did you say to me?"
>"Not much"
>"Do you want me to punch you in the face right now?"
>"Yes"
>He punches me in the side of the face
>He's a little stunned that it didnt affect me
>I have no reccolection of what happened but apperently I stand up, chug my beer, sigh
>Punch this dick right in the sternum
>He falls backwards down 2 stairs
>I run down and grab him by the back of the head and the shirt and hurl him face first into a jagged rock pillar
>Bouncers break it up and kick us out

>>41605608
kek'd so hard I woke up my gf lmao thanks m8

Not since high school

>smash redguard breaking into my gym locker
>got into a 3 v 3 fight with my friends against some kids from another school at a park
>Big school on school scuffle in the parking lot between various groups after a football game, jumped in a few times, didnt really last long
>punched out wanna-be gangster Iraqi immigrant at nightschool who after failing to intimidate me into giving him money just straight up ambushed me and tried to steal my bag

Lifes been pretty boring in the fight department since then.

>>41604968
Got gangbashed in grade 2 by 3 grade six students. And was bullied for a lot of years physically, so I got my ass beat a lot. Most people towards the end stopped fucking with me because I started to wig out and break shit or hit brick walls until my hands started to bleed.

No heroic stories though, I'd like to say I stood up for myself or that I beat the shit out of my bullies, but really, how you think it'll go down when you try to defend yourself isn't always the case.

And example is once I pushed a kid off of me when he started laying into my stomach. He barely budged, hooked me in the cheek, and only walked away after his scout told him a teacher was coming. Surprisingly, I was quite calm, not even in shock, just a "oh, that fucking sucked", got asked by a teacher if i was alright because my face was starting to swell, did the typical "yeah, fell on my face" shit beta cunts do.

Gotta say, the mental shit people think happen, where you jackie chan immediately doesn't really happen unless you're the one initiating it, or you got breathing room to think. Usually it's either you eat shit, or you react. The emotional impact and "this is what i should have done" comes well after the fact in my experience.

I used to fight people in elementary and middle school all the time. It was fun. I miss being able to do shit like that without worrying about jail time.

>>41607592
Luckily, after moving schools, i started to assert myself and now I know how to defend myself. But yet to need to use it. Never hit a guy, or girl. Never hooked someone in the nose (been the guy being hooked a lot). So i can only really give stories from the perspective of a little bitch.

>>41607478
You did good. I hate when kids try to ride out their high school glory into their adult life. Hope that fucker lost some teeth. Good job.

>>41605830
This. I live in a state with relatively few non-whites. They are all middle/lower-middle class and easily find work and scholarships and tons of government grants because muh affirmative action
yet somehow my experience has been nothing but bad with them and somehow even though they make up such a small percentage of the population whenever theres a mugshot on the local evening news more often than not it is some kang.

>>41607362
>>out of confusion I ran to the gang of ukrainians

How the fuck do you get so confused that you run into the thing you are trying to run away from?

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me and my bro sometimes fight because he gets pissed off when I beat him at video games.
It's never really serious though and we make peace afterwards

>>41607478
Kek nice

>>41604968

Got into a fight with this kid in 5th grade. It was classic "meet at the flagpole shit". I was teasing him, mostly because I got teased and he was lower on the pecking order.

It all came down to one moment. We grappled. Backed off, then some guy in the crowd watching is tripped the kid and he fell down and busted his chin. He ran away crying. I was fucking disgusted with myself and everyone else. It was the most cruel thing I'd ever seen. Totally unsportsmanlike and cheap. We got suspended and I apologized to him.

I stopped giving a fuck after that. When I'd get teased i'd just say some seriously mean shit back and people stopped reasing me.

I remember a guy called me "four eyes" in sixth grade. I told him his mom should get raped.

I haven't fought since. It's simply not with the trouble. I carry now anyways quite a bit, or have a huge knife on me.

>>41604968
>years ago, while I was still auschwitz mode
>3am after a night of heavy drinking
>two random guys approach my 'friend' who starts mouthing off at them
>one of them sucker punches him - knocking him straight to the floor - then runs off
>the other one picks up my friend's phone and starts to run away with it
>I grab him, punch him on the fucking cheek
>he breaks my nose
>keep trying to fight him but he managed to run away
>friends all call me a hero even though he still stole the phone and broke my nose and I might have given him a bruise at most

>>41607616
Yeah this guy was a real loser. Heard from a mutual friend he had a massive shiner and gash above his eye, probably would have been real fucked up if lifted at the time

>Walking through club at the end of the night
>See two white guys that look like they want to be gangsters
>Think sideways hats and trailer parks
>Me with long hair, tightish pants and a metal band t-shirt (probably impaled nazarene cause i liked to offend people)
>Alpha trash approaches me
>"You dress like a faggot"
>"The fuck you say?"
>"You dress like a faggot"
>At this point both of them are 6" from my face, just reeking like darts
>See bouncer stopped 6 ft away
>Decide fuck it, this loser deserves it
>Catch the trailer park king under the arm pits and literally throw him through the air onto a table, cups and shit flying everywhere, basically cleaned the table off with this waste person
>As i recover, line up a haymaker for the henchman, mid swing get pulled away by the bouncer and tossed out

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>>41605528
Nice

Been a bouncer at a strip club for ~1 yr now, been in bout 5 fights

>first fight was some dick bumrushed one of our reg's so I choked him out
>second fight was some dummy fighting outside then punched my boi in the face so we knocked him the fuck out and just kinda didn't stop
>third was another dummy bumrushing some stranger, got him in a choke then let him go and he fuck'd off
>fourth was some little kiddo who didn't wanna leave so I picked him up, carried him out, he went to swing so 1punchko'd him lol
>fifth was some random coked out guys that were fighting, broke it up with co-workers, then one went after my other boi so we fucked him up.

Apparently people on cocaine just don't get knocked out unless you choke them, sp00ky shit that is. Sliced my elbow on his teef so that sucked tho

>>41608505
careful of that shit, i've had more than one staph infection on my knuckles from junkies filthy teeth

>>41608515
Ye, got it all cleaned up and shit, most of the scraping was from falling down with him but it's all good naow

Had one experience which lead me to pick up kickboxing.

>few years ago
>be in club
>start chatting with a girl I knew from high school
>nothing flirty, just some small talk
>her boyfriend is in a fit of rage and punches me in the side of the head
>I'm not much of a fighter
>go down like a sack of potatoes.
>can't remember much, but apparently bouncers and my friends break it off and he gets kicked out of the club.
>one of my friends says he knows the guy
>we leave
>pay him a visit at his house
>stomp him out

We felt like the Four Horsemen beating the shit out of Sting. In hindsight a scummy move, but oh well.

>>41604968

Not been in a fight since I was 15 because I'm not a plebeian.

>>41606289
holy shit I never talked to anyone who knew what it's like

20th birthday, got jumped by a couple of teenagers, depressed looking children of russian immigrant pumped on vodka
I looked like a fucking nerd but I just got my kyukushin (which is mid tier art, but still better than swinging) black belt at the time, so when four of them jumped me I fucking took them apart.
My friends took some beatings too but after the rest of the gang saw me folding their friends in half, they backed down.
I don't remember why we didn't just go. I think I tried to convince my friends but they were too slow. I don't remember that night very clearly.
Anyway after a couple of minutes of walking back to our cars a huge flock of drunk russians came out of no where. I fought some more, I think, until someone came from the side and put a brick to my mouth.
There's a hole in my memory there, but I remember running to my car with a funny feeling in my mouth, realizing one teeth was missing and one was very loose.
Somewhere in the jumbled fragments of my memory there's the clear memory of swallowing my own tooth.
My face got fucking hugh, and I couldn't eat properly for a week. There was a lot of dentistry involved in the following year.

But the fear of brain damage, that's really the worst. losing a bit of your cognitive abilities is literally losing a part of yourself.
I don't think anyone could understand without being there.

And i don't even like fighting. Even when I thought i was winning, it made sad that those kids life are so shit they think that's a proper way to have a good time.

>>41608505
giant black man, I assume?

>>41605544
Before the book as well?

>>41605528
You killed someone...

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Been and saw many fights

My top one:
>Group fight of like 30 people with pepper spray, bats, stones and fucking SWORDS because two people had a conflict
>Everyone appeared drunk at sunday evening as if they were pre-drinking to a party knocking eachother out

There are many other stories of me and dudes, mostly just provoking unnecessary fights.
>Claiming to be fans of some soccer team to some hooligans who hate the club, they were 200 and we just said fuck it and run
>Pepper sprayed nazis into oblivion at a party just for the sake of it
>another group fight of like 50 people which I actually overslept (kek)

Man, that summer was a blast

>In shitty local club with 3 friends
>See a guy holding my friend by the shirt at the other side of the dance floor. Must have been because he was talking to a girl he knows
>His brother notices, tells me to stay here and goes to try and talk the cunt off for some reason
>Fuck this, I walk over and announce to the dude 'is there a problem?'
>Dude grabs me by the shirt with his other hand, so i swing a pretty shit punch at his face
>Bouncers are upon us in moments and throw me out. Thought that was the end of it, so start walking off
>Bouncers knew the other dude and just let his stroll out. Fucker grabs be and shoves me pushed me through a window before i know whats happening.
>Cut my hand on the glass and blood was fucking everywhere.
>Guy scurries off somewhere
>Went to the next nearest pub for another pint

I've now learnt not to start a fight when my friends are nearby, because all they do is stand around and stare while I get my ass kicked.

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>>41608742
something*

I o-o-o-order sisstysissed Rick Puhtatuh once.

>>41608796
>>Pepper sprayed nazis into oblivion at a party just for the sake of it

wow faggot alert

90% of the fights
>dodge his right
>hit back because he's now open
and it's over. If you face someone who can fight you're fucked though

>>41605041
Lol, please tell full story.

>>41605307
He went outside in London

>>41604968
I kicked someone's ass and he had the cops find me so I had to explain everything in front of a judge. Never again

Drink responsibly, lads

>>41606289
Niggers or shitskins?

My sixth grade class had a fight club in a tiny ass bathroom for about 3 months. Everyday after recess we would go to the bathroom and either have a 1v1 or an all out brawl. I only joined in on the brawls every once in a while but the teachers put an end to it the day before my 1v1.
We also had drunk boxing competitions throughout high school and after. A couple of friends did MMA so they started drunk boxing with our group of friends so we'd just fight each other to KO or until they give up.

>>41605528
Good on you, kid. I know I would love to have a story where I ended up killing one of the kids who bullied me...

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>>41606250
>society where women are qt and majority of men are cute twinks/trannies
>the rest of the men are /fit/ and love to fight for recreation
>all natural male aggression channeled through sport and fucking twink a-hole
>women have to compete with traps so become more pleasant overall
>no war or overpopulation
>utopia obtained

I've been in countless fights, some were a couple punches some lasted a few minutes. I've been jumped by groups of people I've jumped people in groups.

I like fighting.

>>41605436
I did this with a kid but turns out he was a baby and the throw into the wall broke his nose, shoulder and arm

Got suspended for a week, would have been worse but my friend lied for me and told me I only did it because the kid was being racist to him (he wasn't).

>>41605528
lmfao this is one of the greatest drawings I've ever seen.

>>41605307

He installed Windows Server 2012 R2 6.3 (Build 9600) on a 32 bit machine

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>>41611645
>>41610472

>>41611526
Hell yes anon

This is why we need to let all the others become numales. Those of us who discover /fit/ will live as gods in this new society.

>>41610165
Tip for you: he sounds european. In america they are all roleplayong faggots, in europe there are literal nazis and communists and shit who will fuck your shit up

>>41607658
4 of them running in different directions.
1 away
1 to the left
1 to the right
1 towards the mob.

>>41605978
Playing the "woe is me" victim card. You're kind of a little faggot.

>6th grade
>Lining up to back inside from lunch
>Some Chad was being an asshole to my friend
>he calls him a bitch
>stand up after sitting on a bench
>I reply with no you are
>he replies with oh yeah?
>go autismo and hit him a little bit below the chest
>it wasn't even a hard hit but he fell down
>apparently he couldn't breathe
>everyone crowds around him
>"ANON WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS"
>

It was pretty stupid to hit him over middle school drama but I think deep down I always wanted to know what it felt like to hit someone and he was a lot nicer after I did it

>>41604968
>at lords of acid concert
>jackass keeps starting to mosh and punching people
>the floor opens up around him and he keeps trying to get people to start moshing and literally fights with them when they do punching, kicking, not actually moshing
>I'm with my gf and tired of his shit, so I step in to the ring of people
>he takes a punch at me
>i step in and o-soto gari him landing him flat on his back
>he gets up, mad and charges at me which I sidestep and counter throw his ass to the ground
>repeat 4 or 5 times
>eventually, holding his arm to his body like it is hurt bad, he leaves
...and that is how I got to practice my judo takedowns at a lords of acid concert.

>>41612426
>o-soto gari

Why not use a throw with more semi-lethal stopping power faggot?

>>41612503
O good o-soto gari packs quite a bit of just that. Don't forget that Masahiko Kimura used it to win matches by causing concussions.

>>41612555
Nothing beats a good kotegaeshi or iriminage. Gives them a broken neck and/or an uprooted arm socket.

>>41604968
Couple of years ago, in Mexico City three guys tried to rob me at gunpoint. Long story short, I "won" the fight, but ended up getting stabbed.

All in all, I don't really think people are in much control of their Fight or Flight response. Most people who've never gotten into a life or death situation, don't understand how your body essentially starts acting by itself... All in all I must say that it was fun though.

>>41605716
underrated post

>>41604968
>on bus after a night out
>fucked off my face with my friends
>guy spits on my friends face for no real reason
>grab him and punch him in the face
>get held back by a friend but repeatedly shake him off and grab the guy jacket and rip it open by the zippers
>bus driver stops bus and tell us to fuck off
>about to peacefully get off but then driver very aggressively grabs my arm
>pull my arm loose and take a swing at the driver but luckily get pulled back by another friend before I could connect
>get off bus as bus driver threatens to call police

>was small so got picked on a lot in highschool but had big friends.
>some big white dude starts pushing me at
>we wrestle but it gets broken up
>my friends jump him later at lunch
^This p much most of highschool untill i got puberty


An actual incident:
>dude drops pen and jumps on peoples backs as we wait for class
>i decide to pickup the pen
>he jumps on my back and i fall foward to the ground as if im kneeling.
>elbow him hard in the ribs and he falls onto the ground
>get ontop of him and raise my fist as if im about to punch him square in the face but don't because i didn't want to hurt him.
>huge muscle teacher grabs me by the shirt and says im going to principle, other teacher vouches for me saying it's not my fault
>after that people didn't try starting shit with me (this being said i was a 5'8 manlet and him 6'2 skelly)

Worst one that emotionally scarred me (for the good:
>was on bus, nig nog with two hot shits sitting behind
>he starts talking shit, i get up and tell him to shut up (i was maybe 17)
>he starts intimidating me with shit talk and i feel scared
>he threatens to steal my phone then leaves
>i go home later that day and lay in bed the whole night feeling shit.
>next morning dad tells me to go to school, we argue and i punch a mirror breaking my hand twice.
>after that i decided i'm not happy with myself and began working out, making new friends, talking to girls, losing virginity etc.
Was a wakeup call.


forgot about those feels...

>>41612620
As it happens, I crosstrain in Aikido/Judo/BJJ, so from my experience
>kote gaeshi won't uproot the arm socket because it's nearly impossible to develop enough power against a resisting opponent - you can fuck up the wrist, but people flop over backwards as a rule of thum, after which you get an armbar or omoplata fairly easily
>irimi nage
Obviously never used it to break necks, but sokumen irimi nage is way more practical than regular irimi due to grip fighting.

>>41612697
Forgot to add.

If that nig nog or any others tried doing that shit to me again, i would literally beat them to a bloody pulp untill they're dead. If they are bigger i will rip their balls off, rip their eyes out what ever it takes. No one is ever going to physically bully me again and no one has. I'll rather die knowing i had courage than to let someone make me feel like that again.

That incident was 6 years ago.

>>41612691
Another fight:
> be me a few years ago, still dyel-mode
>at club very drunk with three of my mates
>they're all fucking massive; one of them is a reservist, the other is a rugby player, and the last guy was just jacked
>can't really remember what happened but suddenly a guy and I are getting very physically aggressive
>suddenly all 3 of my friends converge on the guy at the same time
>he backs off and then friends start holding me back as I try to go for him again but I couldn't break free that time
The sight of my three mates converging on him inspired me to lift desu. I wanted to be one of them helping out another dyel friend before he gets floored

>>41612503
I was doing takedowns that I could do with arms down so that I could make it look like I was just there to mosh. I'm sure to some of the people there, they thought he was drunk.
I would just sidestep, drive my shoulder in, and do whatever takedown presented itself, throw him away from me. I was not interested in going to the ground.
For what its worth, I did o-soto gari, o-uchi gari, ko-uchi gari and de-ashi barai. The last throw that hurt his arm was kuchiki taoshi.

>>41605891
>>41605967
>>41606529
>>41608187
>>41611434
>all these bitter bullied losers cheering on a retard

>>41608651
I feel you on the brain damage, it's a special kind of hell. Slipped in the shower and fucked up my temporal lobe bashing it against the faucet. My memories are all fucked up, have an occasional stutter, and my friends say I've changed, like I've aged mentally and got more serious. The worst part was recovery; the "special hell" part applies to still being cognitively aware, yet not being able to linguistically express myself.

>>41612804
Oh, and I still run into people that seem to know me well, while I have no fucking clue who they are

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>>41606317
>>41605528
He sounds like a shit
Good stuff my man

>>41612724
My personal favorite is hijikime. I have a personal affinity for small joint locks, not entirely confident on breath throws. Sometimes I slam my uke down hard, but sometime not. So I'll stay on the safe side and stick with the ones that are muscle memory for me. But any advice on better throws?

Fucking damnit, I can't wait until I'm old and rich enough to apply for CCW licence in this shithole of a country.

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When I was younger (12 years old) my best friend and me decided to do some kickboxing. We ended up in a Muay Thai gym because we didnt know better. We trained there at least 3 times a week and sparred and trained together at home. Competet in some tournaments and with the age of 15, we were looking for fights outside the ring.
We were walking around through the city of through the part to look for some older drunk people or pot heads who think they are cooler than us and beat them down.
I know my first punch. It was some drunken idiot from the school of my friend. He asked if we were gay and made fun of us infront of his friends. We went over and tell him to say that again. He looked me in the eye and told me if Im a faggot. Without a warning, I gave him a hook and he collapse to the ground. His other friends stood up and didnt do shit.

Other time, my friend and I were going through the park and some potheads asked us if we had weed. My friend told him there is weed everywhere while pointing to the ground. They asked us if we think we are funny and start acting up, so my friend and I were beating them up. Hitting one after another. Always together on one and then the other one.

I broke my hand 3 times and thinking back, it was a really shitty idea. After the years go by, I had to pay alot of beers in bars, to make up for the shit that my friend and I did. At least noone of the guys we beat down carried a knife with them.

>4th grade
>be a big guy (4u), also strong (for a kid) because I busted my ass on the family farm
>getting bullied by turbomanlet that looked straight outta auschwitz too
>pick him up by the collar because i saw it in movies and thought it looked cool
>hold him up against a wall with one hand and lightly slap him with the other, for a good thirty seconds
>this happened during recess, by the end there must have been fifty people watching
>principal doesn't do shit about it, because the little shit honestly deserved it
>word of mouth etc
>no more bullying
>also got a couple kisses on the cheek from cute girls

>>41604968
I won most of my one-on-one brawls (the others weren't serious and ended up with a truce, no harm done to any of us), I got my ass kicked once by 3 guys. Since then I avoid situations like these, I mean, when a group confronts me, I swallow my pride and ignore them (in my country you can be frequently confronted by groups of males, they will probably be equipped with brass knuckles, batons or knifes). Other than that, some stupid-ass junkies wanted to mug me in Porto, but I just told them to fuck-off and it was enough. Feelings? I was mostly happy afterwards, either because I won or because I could refrain from fighting. FYI I am kind of macchiavelistic with my attitude, so I wouldn't think twice to use a knife in self-defense. If someone wants to harm me, I will most definitely try to harm them in return.

>On a plane
>Be a big guy (4u) because I was born in the darkness
>Getting bullied by a turbohothead that looked straight out of the CIA
>Pick his plane up by the fuselage because I'm going to crash it
>Show him who's in charge here for a good 30 seconds
>This happened during the flight, by the end, there must have been no survivors

>>41604968
I'm a skinny manlet, but once a guy twice my size attacked me on a bus and I broke his nose, proudest moment of my life.

>>41607478
Montreal?

>>41612899
As far as Judo/wrestling etc goes, I'm partial to uchi mata, trips and single legs. Also suplexes. From Aikido, I also use some kokyu nage-like variations of shoulder/momentum throws, often as follows
>clinch
>slip [right] shoulder under opponent's [right] shoulder
>initiate kokyu nage/drop seoi nage
>drive into them hard on the ground to prevent them from getting on my back
Momentum throws are often easier to hit in live sparring than small joint locks. Imagine you're the middle of a sphere, and your opponent is being thrown across the surface. Catch their momentum and keep it going in one smooth motion(!) while maintaining control.

Hijikime osae I don't use anymore, there's a very thin line between submitting and causing injury, and it's hard to control when you're not sure how your opponent will respond.

>>41613067
Well there's a saying around /k/, never draw your gun unless you absolutely intend to shoot the bastard. I apply the same philosophy to my martial arts technique, which is to keep on fighting/shooting until the assailant has stopped, dead or alive.

Once, a newbie accidentally suplexed me in a botched hip throw; good thing my neck is thicc enough to resist injury. I was pleasantly surprised how easy it was to suplex someone larger than you. Any advice on how to use them in street fights?

>>41610165
Life's rough as a foreign dude. But they deserved it (more or less)

>walking home one night
>get jumped by some cunt
>sucker punches me
>breaks one of my teeth
>manage to outbox him and get him to the ground, due to martial arts prowess
>full mount and dropping a few elbows on his face until KO
>stand over him feeling my broken tooth with my tongue
>furious
>turn him over on his stomach
>start slamming 10-20 hellbows straight to the back of his head and base of his skull
>starts convulsing and freezing up
>calm down
>turn him around on his back again
>call cops
>"he hit his head on the pavement"
>never wakes up from coma
>dies 3 months later
>was some stupid cunt

and nothing of value was lost

>>41613502
Was it a nigger?

>>41613553
STOP WITH THE RACISM FFS ALL YOU'RE DOING IS DIVIDING THIS COUNTRY EVEN FURTHER. CIRCUMCISE YOUR MINDS

>>41613562
Was it a gentleman of noble African-American ethnicity?

>>41613562
Joke's on you, I'm black.

So was it a nigger?

>>41606000
>stoner hands me a scab he picked off himself
>take it, put it in my mouth
I got news for you, they had plenty of reasons to dislike you besides not smoking weed

>>41606162
Just look for a boxing gym

>>41608742

Technically it was General Motors part # 38400 that punched his ticket

>>41605978
Steven?

>>41614263
Top fucking kek

>>41604968
>tfw served a year in jail for GBH

>>41604968
it´s gone both ways, i´ve thrown people into knock out with judo shit and have gotten choked myself into tap out, during that shit all i thought is i fucking hate this bitch to death and let my arms go and afterwards i mightve been disappointed in their weak offense or been just looking for more

also if you never lose you never learn how to take loss like a man and dont know how to be a real winner either when you cant respect both sides so diversify your experiences

>>41614005
i´ve actually been thinkin about pickin up boxing it´d be 100 bucks a year which aint that bad, also BJJ´s like 30 a month

What should I do to learn how to fight?

I've did boxing for a year a while back.

What else can I try?

>>41604968
I help teaxh at a small taekwondo school in my town. Back in the days before i stsrted teaching i was senior student and we had just gotten a new student. He had transfered from another school and joined us as a second degree black belt. At the time he was only one rank below me. His family just moved and he had no friends.me and some of the other kids tried to make friends but this kid was a bit shy. 6 months later we started to think he was vi bipolar because one day he would be a nice guy and the next he would try to kill you. One day, we were sparring using ascrema sticks which is basically a couple of guys poking eachother with stiff pool noodles. Anyway, he and i ended up being partners for a match. it started off okay, but as i scored more points he started hitting harder. Eventually he went for a dick shot and i disarmed him and told him that it wasnt legal. As soon as we started back up again, he went to stab me in the eye. Before he could get there i turned my stick horizontal and performed what is called a reenforced slam. Basically i pushed him with my stick. He fell on his ass and slid around 8 feet on the wood floor. The match went on and i did this to him 2 more times. After each one he would get morw agitated. Finally, the instructor called for all matches to be over. I dropped my hands and returned my stick to the respectful redting position under my arm. As i did this, he went in for a strike directly to the head. I took the hit as i knew the instructor was watching. He was called out on it but had no punishment. I proceded to compare him to the McDonald's dollar menu. This is basically what happens whenever we get a high level asain student that transfers into the school. If you want any more stories just ask. I got a few more.

>>41604968
>some guys asked me for a lighter
>gave him one
>"i know if you got a lighter you got some cigarettes so give me one
>refused because I dont like being tricked (accidentally say "no thanks")
>his friend tells him to kick my ass
>i throw the first punch because ive been told that works best
>accidentally punched him on the chest
>get punched in the face about 5 times in a row and then realize I am stumbling about on the other side of the road than I was on before
>accidentally headbutt him while trying to push him away from me
>he shakes my hand and i we have a smoke together


It's weird. I felt that feeling you get when you meet a new friend. Except I was dizzy and bleeding from the nose and embarrassed.

>>41604968
>Also, have any of you guys gotten mugged/jumped by a group of people?
Never, but I always wanted to. I want to get into a fight so badly.

I was mugged by 2 guys at knife point when I was about 18, they were roughly the same age. I froze and was too hesitant to really do anything because I didn't want to get fucking stabbed. Worst feeling ever, it took me a while to get over it.

>>41611645
topkek

>>41612762
I always denied that 10 year olds actually visited this shit-hole for some reason..

>>41606289
>>41608651
>>41612804
>>41612827
fuck man. Reading this 60 days into post concussion syndrome from hitting my head in the ceiling when standing in some stairs. I talked to my gf about some serious stuff last night and got so dizzy from thinking that I was scared I was going to vomit. It was so scary I cried - I get nauseous to the point where I'm about to throw up if I think.

I've always thought about learning how to fight since it's a good skill to know but now I'm going to put off any such plans. This has been my third concussion, I had PCS for 6 weeks the last time. Had to drop a couple of courses at uni because I got dizzy trying to read.

Brain injuries are terrifying man

>>41613502
>>41605528
wtf is wrong with you

Boxing or Muay Thai for pure self defense?

Is Royce Gracie Jiu-Jitsu any good boys?

>>41604968

Been beaten up: Got into a fight with 3 guys, while my mate kept the other 2 guys from joining in I was beating the crap out of the other guy until I decided to do a move on him I hadn't been taught (I was stoned and drunk, seemed like a good idea at the time). result was him gaining the upper hand and almost knocking me out before him and his crew ran off.

Beat my ex brother in law up twice. Once for pissing through my mailslot, after which I fucked his legs up by slamming them with my front gate (he still walks with a limp). Second time was in my sisters house when he showed up drunk (he didn't get the hint after the first beating) and told my little niece (his daughter) to go fuck herself. When she burst into tears my killswitch flipped.

>>41615398
you have anger issues anon

>>41615320
boxing and a gun/knife depending where you live

>>41615452
>that guy who lets violent drunks abuse his family members
You're a terminal faggot.

I got a prison sentence for throwing one fucking punch

Watch out kids. Only fight when you're sure no one can or will tell the police

>>41616581
Story?

>>41615045
I console myself with the fact that I'm still cognitively sound. One could make a strong argument that I am basically a different person though, considering that our personalities are a culmination of our memories and our perceptions of them. Should I change my name?

>>41610578
Beechwoods?

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>>41605141
ok

>>41616581
>I got a prison sentence for throwing one fucking punch

Depends on the context bro. Literally sometimes black people kill people with sucker punches. Just one punch, head lands right on the concrete, lights out forever. Real life isn't a movie where everyone wakes up from a scrap absolutely fine.

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How does one win confrontational encounters /fit/ I am ashamed of myself
Just had a shitty feel
>Be me, semi-autistic manlet living a dormitory
>Try to set up movie night with some "friends"
>Since its summer time the living room is closed and we need to ask maintenance to open it up
>We do so early so we can make sure its opened once we get there
>Once we arrives there are already two guys watch the hockey game (stanley cup)
>We tell them that we wanted to watch a movie there
>"Cmon man its the Stanley cup!"
>"Alright guys, tell you what the other dormitory 50 meters from there also has a TV in the living room and they are watching the game. Since the first period already started we can watch it all together but then once its over you guy could move there during the 20 min break you should be able to make it before the second period starts.
>"(incomprehensive mumbling)"
>"Alright?"
>"Pssh... yeah right"

3-0 pitsburg, end of first period

>"Alright guys, first period its done, lets watch the movie!"
>"Sorry man we are watching game"
>"Dude we had a deal"
>"No, you thought we had a deal"
>"Buddy we specifically asked the maintenance guy to unlock the living room so we could reserve it and watch our movie"
>"Yeah...no theres no such thing as reserving the living room"
>Friend : "Anon lets just go and watch it tomorrow night"
Friends leaves and ask me to follow them
>"Why dont you go join your friends, anon?"
I let out a long sight and leave myself

I know its no big deal and all we could just watch the goddamn movie but holy shit I was all primed up for a fight right there.

Being an autistic beta is suffering

How should one react in this situation? Just shrug it up and leave?

I am mad and clearly overreacting at this point

>>41618112
Stanley cup takes priority of your anime movie faggot

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>>41618135
>watching animes
>2017

>>41618112

Could have always just gotten your ass kicked. You probably would have felt better having done it and stood your ground.

What stopped you from just saying "Nah, sorry. We opened up this place and reserved it, so we're watching the movie" and just doing that? Were all of your friends literally people with vaginas? Did none of your other friends confront them?

The whole reason they stayed is you sound super passive. You weren't remotely insistent initially that they needed to leave, didn't get confirmation that they agreed to your idea. If you propose something fair like that, and they don't respond to it, that's when you escalate and force a verbal confirmation or else be a fucking dick and just take start your movie right away if they want to be a bitch about it.

In short, they smelled pussy, so they didn't budge.

>>41618200
They stood there quietly until the end of the first period. Once they saw that it was going nowhere they left, thats about it.

While being super passive is really unattractive and beta as fuck, I feel like I have nothing to prove and was too dependant on having some support from my friend. Although im gonna need to be much more alpha in my future career, I just don't wanna feel like I have to be faking it once I am in no position of authority.

I just need to get rid of that pussy stench one way or the other

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>high school
>pasty beta steals my phone
>find him sitting in chair trying to go through my shit
>get him in arm choke bar from behind
>didnt let go until he went limp
>no one saw
>get scared
>haul ass out of cafeteria
>random nigger gets blamed
>kid literally almost died

>>41606802
If he's not still trying to get up or get at you, don't kick while he's down if there's any chance you can be identified because you absolutely will go to jail

>>41605528
fucking niggers man

>>41606698
>can't win against more than one person
>kicking is foolhardy
>don't go for choke
>aiming for balls hard

All false, but otherwise pretty spot on.

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>>41606000

The only fight I ever got into was with this degenerate faggot in kindergarten. He kept kicking the bottom of my shoe as I stepped so I turned around and flung his head into the dirt. Keep in mind I'm massive and have always been tall so this skinny fucker flew. Also around that age, at recess I always picked on this mentally slow kid for no reason, would punch the shit out of him and kick him repeatedly and no one gave a single fuck; at times when I was beating him I'd genuinely apologize and help him up then kick him down again full of rage, I was a bipolar cunt. We were both losers but he was definitely an outcast so I picked on him to better myself. As we entered middle school I found out he killed himself for reasons unknown. Didn't feel a thing then but I'm pretty sure that changed me completely as I'm now content and attempt to avoid physical conflict. That kids face is the only one I remember perfectly, his droopy eyes sunken into his head, he never even cried or ran for help, just accepted it

>>41612645
we dont want the long story short asshole, tell us what happened

>>41608796
you sound like a colossal queer

>>41613502
>20 blows to the back of the head
>he hit his head on the pavement
there is zero (0) chance the police believed this

I've never been in a fight but one time in 7th grade I got my lunch and on my way to the tables to eat I walked through a crowd of people that happened to be watching a fight. I just kept walking right through the fight and people just watched me walk through this fight holding a plate.

>>41605169
Are you in Ancapistan?

>>41604968
I was being dumb walking at night piss drunk in a poor neighborhood and a bunch of niggers and wiggers rushed me from behind, bottling me and cutting my face up with the bottle. They were yelling "get his jacket!" I managed to stand up and yell and throw a few wild punches. I don't think I connected, but luckily they paused and took off after that. And yes I still have the jacket.

Other than that, I got into a bouncer one time and got floored when I was really drunk, and I've punched some people out when my friends get into arguments with random people. I've never fought sober though.

I'm pretty much a nigger

>>41607648
What country do you live in? Personally live in sweden (inb4 cuck) and I've never had nor seen immigrants causing trouble in my city where the refugee population is >4%

>>41615378
Better than nothing, and better than most martial arts. I would rather do Judo or boxing for pure street self defense, but 1 on 1 you aren't beating anyone with a BJJ colored belt without training/huge physical advantage

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>>41604968
>be me
>6'7
>300 lbs at 2% bf
>at bar with my 10/10 model gf
>some cunt walks in and looks at me
>quickly leap across the bar and superman punch the fucker
>his head detaches from his body and goes back out the door at Mach 5
>my dick begins to swell
>my 3 foot cock burst out of my pants and looks like stacked coffee cans
>I grab his still standing body and fuck the gaping neck hole

No one ever messed with me again

I boxed for a year and a half, and grappled for two on and off. Boxing was awesome, no other feeling like throwing leather with someone. I stopped due to head injury reasons. I didn't have any scary concussions, I just worry about CTE. I also had four years of high school football under my belt, and a few concussions there. Overall, I don't regret any of it. I know enough where I can beat mostly anyone who doesn't have formal training

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>really drunk walking home at night
>really scrawny drug junkie who hates me runs up behind me and grabs my face and stabs his thumb into my eye
>instantly grab his arm and in 2 seconds judo throw him into the concrete (like in pic related)
>back of his head hits the concrete really, really hard
>immediately prepare for a counter attack from him
>he's just laying on his back stiff as a mannequin with his eyes rolled back
>OHFUCK i just fucking killed this fucker
>get really fucking nervous and start walking away quickly
>as i'm walking i glance over my shoulder and see he's gotten up and is staggering away
>eye was sore and healed in a few days
>a few days latter one of his friends told me he spent two nights in the hospital with brain trauma

fuckyes.jpg

I got into a nasty bar brawl with a skinhead gang about 10 years ago. Was not cash. Almost died.

>couple days ago
>riding bike back from Walmart
>3 bags of groceries wrapped around my wrist
>riding pretty hard for gains
>2 skinny 15 year olds ahead of me in the distance on the sidewalk
>the skinnier one in the back is looking at his phone
>now is a good time to mention that i'm 135 lbs
>"ok, he'll look up and see me coming and move eventually"
>getting closer
>his friend moves to side
>he stumbles around in middle of sidewalk then seems to move to side
>time to pass
>he moves back to my side
>our shoulders hit
>he yells OOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!!
>i go flying even though he's scrawny as fuck and i was on a bike
>my glasses fall off
>groceries go everywhere
>milk busted and leaking on sidewalk
>i'm laying on the gravel with legs curled up against a tree
>it all happened in slow motion even while i was falling i only thought about how dumb i probably look
>first thing i do is fix my hat because i'm insecure about my hair
>hope that they will leave so no one will see me
>they just stand there staring at me
>silently watching me fidget with my hat
>i roll and stand up
>maintain strict eye contact with the ground
>the guy i hit says something, sounds aggressive
>i reply "OOUGHH....?....you're good du.."
>they turn and walk away
>find my glasses and leave

>tfw you are 28 year old skelley so autistic and insecure and with such bad eye sight that you get absolutely punked by some 15 year old

I need to fix my life. I don't want to live this way anymore.

>>41604968
I've had two physical fights in my life that weren't family related and I won both. First was a Black kid in middle school who tried to sucker punch me. I hit him with so many blows to the head that I thought he was unconscious. Oh well. My hand felt like it had broken the next day.

Second fight was some faggot kid who spit in my face back in high school. Took him to the ground and put him in a RNC. Didn't let go until I was pulled off of him.

>>41605169
MAN VS POO

>>41619469
:( get those gains, anon

Yep
Most recent one was in a bar in town - saw some guy I'd an outstanding grudge with so I walked up to him, glassed him, dragged him outside and kicked the living shit out of him
Then realised hanging around to get v& was a bad idea so gtfo

>>41619469

Fuck that's absolutely traumatizing. Man, shouldn't you have been riding the bike on the street?

>>41619525

No it's a 4 lane busy road and you're allowed to ride on the sidewalk in this city and the sidewalk is actually pretty wide anyways. I only go in the road if there aren't many cars.

>>41612645

>Most people who've never gotten into a life or death situation, don't understand how your body essentially starts acting by itself

Someone elaborate

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>Two kids followed me after school. Trying to start shit on a busy road. Grabbed one and pushed him in front of a car. The car swerved and the guy got out. "You almost killed you're friend!". I told him they were harassing me. Guy calls the cops and both the kids got arrested. One of them apologizes to me. I told him next time he'd die.

>guy tried to fight me in SF on the street. Followed me. Kicked him in the balls and then kicked him across the face on the ground.

I avoid fights at all cost. They're is no casual fighting for me. I think people that "fight" are fucking losers and I hope they get themselves killed by a CCW holder.

>>41619238

>beat anyone with formal training

How about beating a bullet you faggot?

>>41605307
https://youtu.be/byOw4AYd7-8

>>41616553
>permanently injuring your kin for minor property damage
You have anger issues.

>>41612620
Exactly not the point of Aikido, faggot. Maybe muay thai or kyokushinkai would be better for you.

>>41620013
21 foot rule buddy

>>41604968
Only been in three fights.

#1:
>be 9 year old me
>Live in ghetto with family, beaners everywhere
>One beaner keeps throwing wood chips at me
>Get up and push him
>He grabs my arm as he falls and I fall
>My knee lands on his throat
>He cries in the middle of the street for 10 mins before running home

#2:
>be 14 year old me
>Having an airsoft war with friends against some kids up the street
>Corner this skinny kid in a garage, shooting him non-stop
>He throws his gun at me and rushes me
>Proceed to beat the shit out of him with my gun until neighbor mom comes out screaming about calling the cops
>Run home

#3:
>Few months ago
>At a party, usually never go because anti-social
>I try to walk inside the house from the backyard
>Drunk white girl in my way
>"'scuse me m'lady" I say, try walking past her
>Drunk Mexican teen walks up to me, yelling about me flirting with his girlfriend
>He pushes me
>I hit him in the side of the head with my bottle of Hennessy
>He falls down like a sack of bricks
>Bottle doesn't break
>Think its a good idea to drink the rest of the bottle on the spot
>After a few seconds of drinking I choke and throw up all over the unconscious mexican
>Leave immediately

>>41619496
How does it feel to be a nigger

I was a manlet in high school. 5'3" 110lbs

One day this sophomore walked up to me. He was a year younger but massive, 6ft 220lbs of pure muscle/bulk.

He grabbed me in like a bearhug, pulled me into the bathroom, put me in a headlock, and dry humped on my butt until he blew in his pants. He then just walked away

I was in too much shock to do much at the time but looking back I'd do it again

>>41617979
>Literally sometimes black people kill people with sucker punches
Not many blacks where I live, is it really that the perpetrators are mostly black?

>>41621992
There was this fad in America not too long ago among young blacks. Essentially they would sucker punch random people. I don't think it's still a thing anymore though.

>>41608505

careful big lad, if you choke someone out and they die you can get in some serious shit.

its why most police forces beat the shit out of you with batons these days, but dont like using choke grips

>>41605528
>that happened

>>41604968
Recently choked a guy out after we all got into a car accident. Used to fight a lot in middle and highschool. Got jumped in high school. I got up and started swinging at a few people and hit one so hard he fell and i turned to hit another and they all started running because our school resource officer was coming. I ran after the main kid i had beef with. Around blacks never relax. If you're wondering what it feels like, you arent really feeling anything if you're doing it right.

>>41605608

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>>41605608
Top kek

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>>41606000

>>41617274
>>41617979
I didn't kill the guy. I just landed one punch on his face and he lost a couple of teeth. He didn't fell onto the ground, nor did he have a concussion. Just a few teeth missing

>>41614263
Lel

>>41619237
I call bullshit on this story. No way in hell someone on /fit/ has a girlfriend

>>41605101
why have you broken a guy's fingers?

why have no one asked it?

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>>41606000
what the fuck is wrong with you

>>41622512
Why though.
What did you get charged with?

>>41605716
he might not, but that does not mean he would not be a better person as an adult.

being a good person is not measured by your intelligence or science accomplishments.

have no idea why am i writing it here, in 4chan

>>41618112
>>"No, you thought we had a deal"
kek

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>>41604968

A couple of times, last one I was 27 y/o
>outside a bar, a drunk guy keep harassing a friend of mine (a lesbian rugby player btw...) so I step in.
> dude keep grabbing my shirt
>please stop
>please stop
>PLEASE STOP
> I proceed to trhow him.
>he gets up. try a long range swing
>silly, clinch againg, trhow
>step over him, and sit on mount position, telling him to calm down.
> Owners of bar know him, so as I leave this guy alone the owner scolded him

>the day after we meet again at the same bar, he bought me a vodka and we drink it as he apologised for the day before and I said something like "cool we just bumped eachothers"


(I'm a combat sport entusiast since yung age, but I fight mainly muay thai -75kg so I'm not huge and people still picked up fight with me)

It wasn't an actual fight but I was at a gym with a boxing area and I sparred with some guy I didn't know. Neither one of us had any good fundamentals and we just started swinging at each other. He gave me a nose bleed and i hit him in the forehead and knocked him down and we called it quits after that.

>>41605165
you are that young looking short guy right?, brown hair, glasses good quads?

I pushed over a turk who tried to rob me and he died later because of a bleeding in his brain.

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Some old man road raged on me in a parking lot. He rolled up with his window down screaming at me. I clocked him in the side of the head and he sped off.

Does that count?

>>41624295
72kg muay thai practitioner for 5 months here.
where did you learn to throw?

this isn't being taught in my school

>overnight store clerk
>watching shop lifter
>move in for confrontation
>empty his pockets of all store merchandise
>push him out of store
>tell him to get the fuck--
*sucker punches me*
>sweep leg, push him to ground, lock store door with him outside
>his friends get out of car and try to back him up
>i'm on phone with cops
>he spends his weekend in jail waiting for a judge to set bail

not really a fight.. but, just getting sucker punched and pushing a dude away.

>>41624295
I'd have you. Easy

>>41605115
Made me lel

>>41625536
he is gonna go back and kill you

>>41620653
I hope you didn't get puke on your fedora.

>>41605165
go back /mu/

>>41617487
I understand that everything feels strange but I feel like you have to work with what you have. Since you percieve yourself to be the person which your friends feel like you have become (from being someone else), you are that person. Whether this person is different from some other person that was before is irrelevant - you won't expect to be the same person you were when you were 13, even though that person had qualities that you might miss. I respect if you mourn that you have changed, but I believe that you should be proud about who you are now, regardless of what your friends say. There is no other you than you, and nobody else does you better than you do. Take care of yourself my man, hope you find peace in your situation

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>>41615045
just do lots of cardio and avoid anything that increases the risk of more concussions. you can make strong recoveries if you instigate lots of neurogenesis and stop hitting your head. you're gunna make it.

t. had a lot of bad concussions

>>41622557
ebin Xx-DDd

>>41607741
Your mom should get raped. Good one

>>41625690
No mourning, friend. If anything, I'm more mature from it. Sucks not remembering some people though. It's an overall weird feeling

>>41604968
>be with friends
>smoking weed
>outofweed.mad
>one friend say "i got a good friend that can come from a near city "
>he comes
>try to sell me some fake weed
>get mad bc im not a faggot and dont wanan buy
>push me
>i give one head hit and 2 punch
>FATALITY.gif
>he calls his nigger friend
>run like i've never run in my life

Grew up in Northern Ireland so I was always getting into fights

>About 8 years old at a theme park
>Talking to some kid about 10/11
>We were getting along great
>He asks me if I'm Protestant or Catholic
>I'm a dumb 8 year old so I just answered
>Fucker started beating on me because I was a Prod
>Managed to belt him in the throat with my little 8year old fist
>While he's on his knees coughing
>Grabbed the remanents of a slushie on the kirb and drop kicked it into his face
>Fucker ran of to his dad with blue ice on his face
(I also ran to my dad because I was scared as fuck that someone had just randomely attacked me)

Another fight
>Last year at a party
>Was banging some girl at a party
>She's bent over the sink and I've my back to the door
>Door flys open and someone grabs me by the shoulders and throws me out
>Manage to pull up my boxers as I stand up
>Furious looking guy swearing at me
>Turns out I was fucking his gf (I had no idea the girl didn't tell me and neither did anyone at the party)
>Feel super bad and tell him I didn't know and offer him a beer
>Guy is still understandably mad and he punches me in the gut
>Swings again and catches me in the cheek
>He's shorter than me about 5'10/11" so I held him sort of out of reach
>I felt bad for the guy and didn't want to make his night worse
>But he fucking bit my arm
>So I clocked him the side of his hide with my free arm
>He went down like a sack of spuds
>His gf said we should finish what we had started
>Apparently she gets turned on by her bf drooling on the floor
>I told her to fuck off

I've a bunch more fight stories that I'll tell later if the threads still going

>>41612036
thats still retarded?

>>41626261
Height/Weight?

>>41604968
beat up quite a lot of people, got jumped once

sounds edgy but it makes you feel alive

I fought two identical twins, some matrix tier unreal shit. I kicked two of the same guy's ass at once, felt amazing.

>>41624295
Post pics of your lesbian rugby player friend

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>>41626261
>He's shorter than me about 5'10/11" so I held him sort of out of reach

>>41625711
cheers bro, will do for sure once I'm healed enough to go running
>>41626001
I feel you. We do the best we can with what we get

>Be me
>7'9 400kg monster, all muscle
>skinny little 5'0 40kg paki starts talking shit to me
>Throw him into a passing aeroplane bringing it down into a black boy walking home from school
>All start attacking me, 5'3-5'7 MAX
>Can't even reach my face so I just laugh as their impotent punches hit me
>Channel the fury of my pagan ancestors
>Lift one of the little fuckers up and start using him as a savage human weapon to kill them all
>Panting as I hold the mangled, bloody remains of the weaponized sand nigger
>Dead pakis all around me
>Go home and play monopoly

>>41607478
Not gonna lie I've had the same experience but I was the asshole hockey player and didn't get my ass beat

>>41626261
>>His gf said we should finish what we had started
wow, what a fucking bitch.

Where the heck are you people living where all these fights are happening? I never got into or saw any fights during all my school years and only saw a fight once or twice in the years I worked as a security guard. Sounds like everyone else lives in a kung fu movie.

>>41627728
6'4" or 6'5" not sure but I'm taller than everyone I know

I weigh around 220lb

>>41629124
Saddest part is those two are still dating and the guy apologised to me for starting the fight

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>>41605608
>>41605716
>>41614263
>>41605528

>>41604968
Been to prison...
Been in several dozen fights...
Been jumped by ten guys and left for dead...
Beat a guy so bad with pipe I thought I killed him...
Stabbed a guy 7 times he almost died...
True story

>>41628952
kek

>>41605528
this makes you as bad as a common nigger, really
fuck yourself

>>41626039
You are a waste of this earth's valuable resources

>>41605528
Hell yeah you're a fucking legend mate don't let the pussy cunts replying get you down.

Faggot deserved it, race aside, he was clearly a stupid and horrible person. Good for you