>gym hound chewed up the bench again

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>>41565440
Got kicked out for a week because my falcon attacked the gym hound.

>>41565440
>>41565475
>nobody cleaned up the leftover gym fox
C'mon guys I know it's gross but the bio-hazard bin is right next to the squat rack for a reason

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>gym honour guard lynched my gym bro for openly sympathizing with manlets

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>didn't bring any change for the scoop machine
>come back with some quarters
>insert quarters, no scoops coming out
>call gym technician
>he's checking what's wrong
>hear muffled sounds coming from the back panel
>turns out it was a manlet who locked himself in the machine and ate all the scoops

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>raided a new gym today
>pillaged the whole place for equipment and supplements
>stole duke chad and baron brad's gains
>rape lady stacy in front of them
feelsgood

>>41565665
former manlet*

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>finish set
>back to locker room
>check card catalog
>favourite concubine already checked out by chad

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>walk into gym, the gym buck is there all amped up cuz it's rutting season
>make eye contact on accident
>he thinks its a challenge to his right to breed in the gym
>ohshit.jpg
>he charges
> barely dodge because I just bumped up my squat plug size to go with my new pr and still adjusting
>he keeps charging and gores a cardio bunny
>tfw this was why I was kicked out my last gym

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Needed spot on my last rep.
Only got enough enough tickets for the small prize.

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>Drop dumbbells
>Breaks open the aquarium flooring
>Gym dolphin hurt itself on broken glass
>Gym marine biologist wants me kicked out

>>41566048
Kek

What the fuck kind of gyms do you guys go to? I've never seen a gym with a dog or a falcon or some machine that gives out scoops.

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>>41565440
>gym barbarians scattered all the plates again
>have to postpone squats until tomorrow

>>41566176
What kind of a fucking 3rd world shithole do you live in? Does your gym at least have segways to move from station to station?

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>>41566176
Being this new

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>>41566252
>his gym doesn't have flying cars
>being this poor in 2017

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>can't use bench until I defeat the gym boss
>stuck using smith machine

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>>41565440
>gym designated rapist raped my gym crush again

>>41566048
An aquarium floor would honestly be baller as fuck.

Would pay premium

>unracking pl8s after a fullfilling bench session before I start doing my roman deadlifts
>get distracted by the gym satyr
>he's a damn funny guy
>bar tips over
>break a pylon supporting the gym aqueduct
>whole thing comes tumbling down
>no water in drinking fountain or the thermaes
>have to pay repair costs from my own pocket
>got a month-long ban from gym peristylium on top od that

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>strongman dropped an atlas stone mid-lift
>gym gunslinger got scared and shot the smoothie store cashier
>can't buy any protein shakes for the next 5 in-gym days
>nowhere to trade my manlet hides
Anyone else have this problem? I don't want to go down the road to the trading post

>>41566322
KEKED

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>squatting 4pl8 pause atg perfect form
>manletpower.gif
>everybody is miring
>suddenly a lanklet falls down from the skies
>destroys the squat rack
>tfw another lanklet threw himself from the lanklet tower
>when they will ever learn

>>41566252
Wait theres actually people this poor? The segweys are the shit
Probably a fuckin Bosnian

>>41566045
I would live in my gym if they had this

>Chad on the Archimedes Screw machine
>waddle over to the free weight nunchuks instead
>20 minutes go by
>he's still on the Screw
>another 20 minutes
>Chad finally done, leaves the gym in his mech warrior
>waddle up to the Screw
>can't get one rep
Why the fuck am I a penguin, /fit/?

>>41566048
;^)

>scoop dispenser only has banana flavor left
>plate dispenser only has metric weights left
>bar dispenser waiting for overdue bars to be returned
>forgot quarters for the Squat Rack safety release

fffffffff that dude at aldi's gave me a nickel for my cart instead of a quarter earlier

>egolifting in the low-gravity room
>only bench available is right by the energy field
>easily cranking out reps of 4pl8 bench
>form starts to mess up
>edge of the barbell goes through the energy field
>left side of the barbell plummets
>can still move the right side pretty easily
>I throw it off of me and it swings through the energy field
>it comes down with the full force of 4pl8s
>crushes the gym gains goblin by pure luck
>I get all the gains he stole this week
>I can now bench 4pl8 outside the low-gravity room
100% worth paying to fix the floor. I'm afraid to go back though. The gains goblin will be after me when he respawns next week.

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>tfw when plate dispenser is out of warm plates
>tfw when squatting with cold plates ALL week

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>>41565440
>failed the weekly penis inspection in the gym showers
>got my water turned off mid-shave

>autonomous lifting machines have been hacked again
>plate dispenser is empty
>have to use the dusty dumbbells instead
>gym drone is attacking the receptionist
>can't afford an exoskeleton upgrade

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>tfw gym crush fell in the pit

>>41567923
>>41567923
She belongs to the manlets now. Her holes sullied with their inferior genetics.

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>tfw I can't rope climb up to the real gym so I'm stuck on the ground floor with the treadmills and ball pit

>>41566252
Brazil

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>>41565440
>someone put too many quarters in the weight dispenser again
>mfw free weights

>finally hit 2x bodyweight squat!
>Gym ant comes by and squats 100x his bodyweight for 20

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>gym centipede is using all the plates again

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>gym buddy refuses to pay tribute to the gym mob
>they put a bounty on his head
>now he has to lay low because gym hitmen are looking for him
>got nobody to work out with again
fifth time this month guys

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>try to find clean pl8s but they're still all dirty
>gym janitor power cleans lmao 2plate

>>41565440
>11 at night in the gym
>shift change in prison block C (manlet block)
>some idiot left the doors unlocked and now manlets are running amok
>curl squad had to come in with taser barbells again

>>41568408
so he would be fine by default if he was a manlet?

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>it's a "/fit/ attempts /tv/ memes" episode

Wake me when it's over

>>41568408
>Forgot to pay the mafia my quarterly gains
>Hope I don't see Tony soon

I'm trying to get the most gains as possible and just leaving without notice, do you guys think they'll track me and my gains or is this a death sentence

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>>41568557
>mfw homeless manlet wipes my bench and expects me to tip him

>gym parrot won't stop squawking at me when I walk by

This one is unironic, strangely enough

>gym stenographer records me as having lifted less than i did
>have to present video logs to the high council to change the record
>>41569443
Elaborate

>Gym Militsiya orders me to seize
>I don't have my Gym ID on me so I accept the punishment of 10 years hard labor in Gym Gulag
>All the other prisoners are dyel and capitalist scum
Such is life

>go to gym
>pull day
>start with chin ups like always
>some fatty broke the whites only pullup bar
>have to use the colored bar

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>Gym merchants buy out the gym
>They demand a lifelong gym pass for $6,000,000, in order to keep the membership or the choice of paying a small amount monthly through a loan with interest.
>Eventually the gym patrons are struggling with their finances due to the gym fee increasing every month.
>My fellow gym patrons and I are now debt slaves to the gym merchants, all our money goes to them
>We form a coalition to remove the gym bankers, gym lawyers, and gym merchants from our gym
>Other swole debt slaves from neighboring gyms come to the aid of the gym merchants in our gym
>We get btfo
>We continue to be debt slaves for the rest of our lives
>The gym merchants move on to other gyms
>pic related

>>41569780
Not much to elaborate on lad, there's a big ass parrot that stays at the gym during the day and it has a cage but usually sits on top of it or hops on one of the machines right by it. It's hella loud and squawks at me every time I walk by. One time I accidentally opened the trash can where it's droppings are and felt nauseous for the next 3 hours, worst smell I've ever smelled desu

>>41565440
why is /fit/ meming so similar to /tv/ meming?

>>41570784
>normies

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>recently signed up for a new membership
>gym is great, all equipment has designated, ample space for lifts
>can only deadlift in the gym catacombs or else the plate wraiths will hunt you down and devor your gains

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>gym space station gravity center is currently out of order
>have to do my actual weights instead of benching 500lb with the gravity reduced like some sort of newborn

>>41570701
My gym has a gym parrot too, do you live in Michigan by any chance?

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>Gym leader of the Purple Rhino Knights destroyed my gym-approved scooter
>Gym soldiers squeeze my small arms and call me a bitch boy

>>41568449
this one is actually pretty good