>the gym gains goblin ran off with my squatting skateboard

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>manlet pit duty again today because my ass didnt literally touch grass when squating
>i dont think the shaman will forgive me this time
should i change gym? I have been caught more than 2.5 times and I think they've written me down on the non ATG list.

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>summoned to tribunal before the gym elders for squatting in the curl rack again

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>manlet pit upgraded to chasm
>gym clown spraying diet coke instead of shakes out of seltzer bottle again

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>gym milfs didn't work out today because they had to attend their son's graduations.

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>banned from the gym for life because the gym nurses found out I'm not autistic

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>sheriff of freeweight town caught me not doing my cardio before coming over, and deported me back to machineville until my papers have been approved

>>41555702
>jeb!-chan

R A R E

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>gym wizard raised the price on potions of giant strength

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>gym dealer left the locker room
gym narc must have got him

>gym librarian banned me for 3 weeks cause I spilled S I P S on my mandatory copy of Mark Rippetoe's Starting Strength

> gym brothel is on lock-down cause a manlet escaped the pit again

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>the Waffen SS + GOMAD detained me for questioning after manlets escaped the concentration pit

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>skipped leg day last week
>forged a sick note from my mother so the gym principal wouldn't think I was just being lazy
>got caught and had to pull the chariot for the king of manlets as punishment

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>local gym about to be taken over by a chain
>gym military mobilizing reservists to to form a defense force
>refuse conscription
>thrown in manlet pit for the duration of the war

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>run front desk for planet fitness
>manlets keep burning up on re-entry

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>>41557451

>>41555488
>he doesn't know about his permanent gym record
You're fucked

>>41557273
These are getting too good

>>41555488
Dude If you ever change gyms you're obliged to inform the gym staff and users that you're a registered quarter squatter. Good luck living with the stigma.

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>Gym gardener hasn't been in to trim the plates in over a week
>Plates are completely overgrown irregular polygons now

>Asshole dive bombing squats brought kneebola to the gym
>Gym closed for 6 months due to quarantine

>>41557451
Kek

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>plate dispenser took my quarters again
>had to deadlift sideways

>A's banned at gym for some reason
>Forced to snitch instead of snatch

>>41555334

> gym elections this year
> candidates give you unprompted spots and keep pitching their party
> get given free protein shakes from the Deadlift Liberals

Don't know how I feel about this

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>>41557631
>>41557631
iktf bro

>had to enter a blood pact to join my gym's SkullKrusher Kult
>did wrist curls afterwards and got a staph infection in the cut because some asshole didn't wipe down the dumbbells after he used them
>spent two weeks in gym's infectious diseases ward, lost all my gains
>got kicked out of the Kult for missing the full moon squat session

>>41557768
>Did OHP with gym twink
>A month later learn I have HIV of the elbow

Never lift unprotected

>>41557731
>Gym bans I's
>Gym twink replaced with gym twank

>gym choir director out sick
>I had to step in
>sore from arm day
>That choir sounded like a god damn clone army of Stephen hawking grandma's with no feel for tempo
How will I ever recover from this embarrassment

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>lanklet nest in the showers
>make an appeal to the council of elders, they refuse to hire an exterminator
>get bitten up every time I want to wash off

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>manlet pit is full again
>manlets crawling all over the floor looking for weights
>mfw I place them above their reach
>mfw they try to build a manlet tower put of 5 people to get the weight
>placed it even further up

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>>41557571

It's the law, anon. https://www.gov.uk/squatting-law/overview

>>41556838
>not using potions of giant gains

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>go to gold's gym
>drop a weight and it chips
>the coolie prospector that lives in the janitors cave grabs the piece before I can

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Is there a gym rule against stealing manlets from the manletpit and strapping them to my arms and legs to form a 12'1 mantron

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>>41558389
No, but manlets tend to be very aggressive. So watch out, they even bite

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> new power rack, everyone happy
> gym assassins haven't had a contract in months