>You... "maxed out?"

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>>41407294
>You havent had ANY sexual releases this month?

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So this Mr rippetoe told you to drink a gallon of milk a day?

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>You were doing WHAT with a skateboard?

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>you've grown a half inch this year!

>>41407353
DELET PLS

>>41407424
I kek'd

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>So the reason why you...consume your own semen...is to "maximize gains"?

>3... plate... diddly?

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>it says you're not sexually active, is this a mistake? you're 29 now

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>You follow the advice of a "Japanese anime image board"?

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>why do you want to grow more? your height is fine, "tee eff dubyoo king of manlets" isnt a valid reason for Growth Hormone

>"You put "whey" under drinking?"
Tfw I did this oregano

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>>41407454

>>41407294
dr: your hdl is 0
me: good

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>>41407718
>mark ripped a toe? Well bring him in!

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>you count the bar?

>>41407754
kek

fuck i love these threads

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>so you've been following a gym routine you found on a cartoon website on the internet? And you're what now... 'Bulking'?

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>so you only take...how many scoops?

>How many sips a day are you taking? We may need to double it.

>>41407946
fuck off new fag

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>"you bought and sold all your BTC on the same day???"

>mfw

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>So its those "fitizens" as you're calling them, who are believing in you and telling you that you're going to make it?

>>41407950
Not going to make it.

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>the results are in, it seems you have an unhealthy obsession with a gay cartoon dog

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>under allergies you listed... cardio?

>you cosume this yogurt...from the greeks for maximum protein gains...?

>>41407480
>>41407454
>>41407497
>>41407733
>>41407754
killingthejoke.pdf

>>41407733

kekk

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>thou hast NEVER intimately known a woman?

>>41408008

DELET THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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>>41407454
>tfw got testicular cancer at 23 and had to go through this conversation with about a dozen different doctors/nurses
I bet they laughed about the size of my dick during the operation too

>>41408008
heh

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>So, thou believeth thou becometh a wizard if 't be true thou hast thy maidenhead for how long? Thirty years?!

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>A cartoon dog told you to do WHAT with a skateboard?

(It's been posted before but still tickles my funny bone)

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>>41408078
>>41408364
My fucking sides

actual conversation with a doctor
>you lift weights HOW MANY days a week? this is too much, do cardio
>you consumer HOW MUCH protein a day? this is too much
>you intentionally eat more calories than you burn? this is not healthy
>you dont take the exercise "juice" right?
tfw pajeet doctor accused me of roiding

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>You're... cutting?

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>>41407925
kek underrated

>>41408431
>be 16
>skelleton to ottermode by training for a year with extremely slow gains
>both house doctor and dermatologist ask me if I am roiding

>>41408864
>6 years ago
I should add, no bannu pls

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>Eat big to get big?

>>41408280
Aw geez I'm sorry anon :(

At least you can still do oral and stuff

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>>41407383
>i caused that feel

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>That first sip of the day? You should be drinking more water than just a sip!

>>41407424
>>41408008
>>41408393
what?

>>41408280

did you lose both?

>>41407497
kek

>>41407754
HAHAHAHA

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>I don't think that's a real exercise...

>>41408078
sayeth the sire whom'st hath never known a fair maiden himself

>>41409081
mirin 4arms tbqh

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WHAT DO YOU MEAN TWO SCOOPS?

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>Calories in calories out? But why do you eat 3 chicken breasts, whey, and hamburger meat for every meal? Your cholesterol is through the roof!

>>41407454
Back off doc. I want those wizard powers

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>man-let? this is a newborn, anon, he will learn when he starts primary school. Would you like to hold him?

>>41409331
Holy shit come up with something original.

>>41409094
Lurk moar

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>>41407294
>tell me more about this "Snap City," anon

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>>41407353
>this month

>>41408027
Kys.iso

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"Sir there's no abnormalities with your jaw, mirin jaw isn't a medical diagnosis"

>>41407294
>You... lift heavy weights... to be strong enough to protect your imaginary cartoon girlfriend's smile?
>You're gonna make it son.

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>>41409978
And I forget my pic like a retard.

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>you eat how many eggs?
>in one day?

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>oh no, you're taking creatine??
>Anon you know what you're telling me is illegal right?

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>When you lift something heavy, you should never pull with your back, you know that, right?

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>Lunges... before bregfasd?

>>41410607
I don't know why, but this made me laugh harder than anything in this thread

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>so you force grown-ups below the height of 6' fight in that 'pit' of yours?

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Sir for the last time my name is Dr Khan, not Dr Pajeet!

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>>41407925

>>41407383
That's COACH Rippetoe Mr Dr.

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>GOMAD? DON'T MIND IF I DO! HEEHEE! AHOOHOOHUUUEEEEGHHHH

>>41410607
god damn it

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>You're concerned that your "pump" doesn't feel like an orgasm?
>Your friend Arnold told you this?

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You're worried about your diddlys? Well, this is more of just a standard physical, but I can schedule a prostate exam for you soon if you're worried about it.

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>What exactly is in this "pre workout"

>>41410839

Coke and creatine

>>41407754
Top kek

>>41408024
Underrated

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>Sir could you explain again what "activated" almonds are?

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>You're "fucking a zeebra"? Sir bestiality is illegal, I'll have to report you to the police.

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> Yes of course pre-workouts are healthy. I myself like to do a gentle warmup on the exercise bike.
> Huh?
> What do you mean "it contains nitroglycerine"?

>>41411007
Kek

>>41407754
TOP KEK

>>41410607
sides oblideraded

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> And these "friends" who you get your "fitness" advice from... are ALL of them "anonymous"?
> I see... so you are taking their advice, but they could be absolutely anyone
> I see, and you trust these people more than me, a registered doctor, when I am telling you that eating 3 eggs a day will significantly increase your cholesterol - sending you to an early grave?
> No sir I am not a "normie" I am a registered Physic-
> SIR PUT THAT OMELETTE DOWN

>>41409094
fuck off newfag

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>FOUR SAKUPARU?
>N-NANI?!

>>41408026
Not funny

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YOU MADE YOUR MUSCLES FAIL ON PURPOSE??!?!

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>>41407818
>>41407383
>>41407353
>>41407294


Heres a whole bunch

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> You do "skullcrushers"?
> You do know that the skull is an important part of your body?
> It protects your br....
> ... Nevermind

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> Sir, I understand you "want to get big"
> But this "Ice cream 5x5" diet with "lots of scoops" you keep telling me about sounds extremely fattening

aw yiss this thread is quality

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> Why do you keep saying "5x5"? Do you need me to get you a calculator or can I just tell you its 25?
> ....
> Skullcrushers? Without your bicycle helmet?! This explains everything....
> We are going to have to get your head X-rayed ASAP.
> And please tell me you have been using your squat plug?
> Lifting protected is dangerous; I shouldn't have to tell you that.

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>>41407733

>>41411133
fucking kek

>>41409094
Scooby
Skateboard squats

>>41407925
jej

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>>41410811
underrated

>>41410085
38
but I take 2 multivitamins to be safe

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> You are trying to develop your "stabilisers"?
> Anon, you are not a child's bicycle
> I can prescribe you a zimmerframe if you are having difficulty walking?

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YOU STILL HAVENT REDUCED YOUR BMI?!

AFTER EVERYTHING I TOLD YOU ABOUT BMI AND HEART DISEASE

HERE, LET ME REDUCE YOUR BMI!!!!!!

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>>41407754

>>41410085
When i was a lad i ate 1 dozen eggs to help me grow large. Now that I'm grown i eat 2 dozen eggs so im roughly the size of a barge

>>41410607
I saw this meme and didnt get it. All of a sudden it clicked. My sides

>>41407424
hahahaha I can relate to this reee

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> And these "gains goblins" you see all around you....
> Do they tell you to "burn things"?

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>He said this was caused by doing some "lightweights baby" but that cant be true, right?

>>41411986

> Yes Mister Cole, babies ARE a light weight.
> But for the tenth time now, I'm telling you the heart attacks will continue until you change your diet

>>41407754
kekekekek

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TREE SCOPUS? DATS TOO MUHC

>>41411739
I remember this thread

>>41411502
actually it's fucking shit

>>41410949
lol