ITT: We pretend to be our mothers

File: ffdfsdfsdffsfds.jpg (33KB, 336x450px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 336x450px

>>41375653
You are failure at everything you do. You are totally worthless piece of shit. Ultimate disappointment. I wish you've never been born.

>>41375739
time to move out and never come back

I'm glad he's doing better but I can sense something is bothering him..

File: IMG_0061.jpg (40KB, 577x551px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 577x551px

>>41375653
If you can't follow the rules of this house
Then you can't live in this house
> don't have any old lady pics

He's so much bigger than his father. I wish I could have sex with him.

File: IMG_0296.jpg (84KB, 640x900px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 640x900px

>>41376065

>Why the hell did he have to be born
>I would still be married if it wasn't for him
>Even after dropping out of college all he does if lift, work and waste time at home. His brothers did the same and they're married.
>Is he gay or something? He's only ever talked about having a girlfriend once, in middle school. He doesn't even leave the house unless it's for work.
>I wish it was Little Anon living with me instead. At least he agrees with what I say.

T-thanks, mom ;__;

>>41375653
your mother is attracted to you and she thinks you are the problem

its the same thing when fathers yell at their daughters to put more clothes on

Hey monkey boy umm I'm a little short on money this month do you think you can help me out also can you buy me some cigarettes

>>41375653
You need to eat more, stop being so fussy.
Why are you eating so much chicken?

*smokes cigarette*
You know...
*eats crisps*
I've been thinking about...
*scoffs chocolates*
going on a diet like...
*eats pizza*
you've been on...
*drinks soda*
lol nvm

What? Exercise? No, honey. I can't. I mean, I know I spend most of my time around the house, but it's fine since I've been reading about certain diets lately. Like, the amaranth diet: you eat it whenever hungry and you lose weight! Cool, huh? Try it out, since you look like you could lose weight, all that muscle isn't good for you, you know?

Hey anon want a hot dog for dinner?

Hey anon we're going to order some pizzas do you want one for yourself?

Hey anon we're going to the chinese buffet want to come?

Hey anon they didn't have that bread you wanted so I got you some rye bread instead

Hey anon you really shouldn't be eating that much protein it's not good for your kidneys

Hey anon

My doctor told me to build up my bone strength, so Im doing a zumba™ class. Want to come with me anon? I really liked our workout session that one time, but I felt like I had the flu after... I dont know if aomeone my age should be lifting THOSE types of weights. That bike you picked out for me? Ill ride it, but when its nicer out. I promise.

My piece of shit son drank all the milk again and spent the day at the gym instead of looking for a job.

Also, why doesn't he have a gf? He's probably gay, and it has nothing to do with the 5' womanlet genetics I gave him. Why can't he just bee himself?

What would a vase filled with ashes say?

>>41375653
>anon, could i borrow a few dollars? my migraine is coming back, so rick down the street was gonna help me with some oxys.
fuck opiates. they stole my mom from me.

>>41377237
>at least I'm not a skelly

>>41377052
literally this minus the cigs.
constantly talks about dieting when she talks to me but never does it

>>41377522
thanks for the laugh

>>41375653
>*gets flustered*
>anon be careful with those weights we don't have very good insurance don't push yourself why dont you just go jogging you know me and your father were both track stars in highschool you have a runners body rememver to eat lots of fruit also doctor oz says blblbahbdbebsbhsduyxksjdjndi

>*shaking head*
>I caught anon sneaking in that little Filipino boy that dresses like a girl again
>I really hope this is just a phase

File: IMG_1544.jpg (75KB, 440x363px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 440x363px

>>41375653
My son works out too much. I told him that he's pushing close to the limit of whatbthw body an do. He said he can almost lift 300 pounds! As a mom, I have been to the limit raising kids and taking care of a household. Trust me, you're working your body too hard, slow down!

>>41378251
kek

File: canted mags.jpg (20KB, 630x240px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 630x240px

>>41375653
>anon has never brought a girl back to the house.
>I wonder if all those bodybuilding supplements are turning him gay?

>>41375653
>Lifting? Sports? Social life? fuck all of that school is the only thing that matters
>no you can not go out with your friends
>also I'm going to scream at you for every little mistake you make and make you think you're the most worthless piece of shit on the planet

20 years later

>anon why don't you have a girlfriend? all of my friend's kids are getting married and buying houses
>where did we go so wrong?

>wow you're lifting that much now?
>be careful that you don't hurt yourself
>thanks for motivating me to get back in the gym
>I love you anon
Love you too mom

>>41375653
>gosh you are becoming just like your dad. Is gym the only thing thats important to you now? You look fine the way you are you dont have to get bigger, you will look gross.

>stop drinking all the fucking milk! What the hell is wrong with you?

>i cannot believe i gave birth to a person like you. I cannot even consider you my son anymore because the things you do, no child would put their family through.

Such is life

File: IMG_1443.jpg (240KB, 1040x1174px) Image search: [Google]

240KB, 1040x1174px

>Mommy issues: the thread

>>41375782
>underrated

>>41377006
That feel when you're such a morally righteous douchenozzle with a minimal understanding of parental dynamics and a very poor ability to critically think, so you spend your time missing the joke on Caribbean sandal-thatching boards

>>41377238
Atleast she'd say she was getting oxy haha. My mom always says she needs like 135 extra for rent and instead go pick up a couple pills. Or "hey I need some money for gas cigs and food, can you loan me like $35"

>>41378554
Your childhood sounds fun

It feels like all the really dumb comments in this thread come from american women.

Tfw mum is fit as fuck, has consistently performed a light workout first thing in the morning for 15 years as well as exercise on weekends combined with feeding me high quality healthy meals my whole life and also encouraged me to start lifting weights when i was skinny.

Dosent fall for any meme science either:
>honey whats this creatine stuff
>just atp, google it mum
>looks good can i take some before i go cycling?
>sure mum

>>41380056
when you have the "cool mom"

File: steroidinjectionnew.jpg (28KB, 640x300px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 640x300px

>>41380056
>before i go cycling

Why do I have to learn to cook something that doesnt come out of a box or something fatty, loaded with carbs and/or fried when cooking with herbs, spices and fresh ingredients tastes GROSS I mean i'm happy with who I am regardless of the fact i'm always fatigued and known to develop bizarre health issues what could go wrong? You can eat 'healthy' if that's what makes you happy but that food is gross!

im dead

>>41375653
My mom is actually proud of my lifting. Regularly tells people how I go to the gym 6 times a week and I'm always at the gym

>>41375653
>ITT: We pretend to be our mothers

"Awww, shit. Lemme suck on that dick, nigga."

>>41380056
>Trying to make an effort to eat healthy
>Every time I visit my parents my mom buys me chocolate and wonders why I'm so "skinny"
>My grandmother's obesity gave her a slew of health problems in her retirement, and my mom is following in the same footsteps
Why do Americans have to be so fat

>>41382862
>Why do Americans have to be so fat

Because we're rich, muh fugga

>>41375782
T..tiny?

>>41377006
When a father tells their daughter to put more clothes on it's because of other men wanting to defile her not himself . You may actually have brain issues, seek help.

File: 1435108374035..png (285KB, 1369x1500px) Image search: [Google]

285KB, 1369x1500px

>>41377234
literally me

File: 1492027208876.png (227KB, 500x405px) Image search: [Google]

227KB, 500x405px

>>41378554
iktf

"You should lose weight, you're too young to have to worry about a heart attack"

"You're losing too much weight! Are you bulimic? Do you want to kill yourself?"

"You need to stop working out, you've lost so much weight already and I don't want you to be some dumb meat head"

I just can't win, I swear anons. Also, I've only gone from 320+ to about 252, so I definitely don't need to stop.

You know son, we're a really liberal household, you know that, right? If you're gay it's fine, it's 2017.

>>41375653
> your little sister bought a house, why can't you?
> please don't bring up the fact that you saved our house from being foreclosed, it stresses out your father and you know he is already stressed out by that job he hates.
>I wish you'd date again, hopefully you'll be able to find a nice girl your own age who doesn't already have a kid but still wants one.
Fat chance mom, I'm 30, every woman my own age who is interested in kids would come with step children, at least you understand that step kids would be awful, you're just going to have to accept that I'm only in the market for 1992 and newer.
>I think you should do more cardio.
> You need to buy another gunsafe, I don't like that you have to leave out that .22 and that single shot .410.
> You should trade in your truck on something smaller and newer


> I'm glad you've got a better job with less commute, you seem much happier.

>>41377238
Sounds like we got the same mom
>no I don't know what happened to your Christmas money, you were 16 and you probably just lost it
>no I don't know what happened to the money !MY! father left for you. I was just holding onto it until you were 19
>hey anon I'm getting evicted by the police tomorrow can you help
>don't fucking ignore my texts
>fuck you I had an emergency and had to spend the $600 you gave me for rent
>I wish you weren't my son you greedy piece of shit

Don't talk to her anymore. I don't like her now, but I miss the mom I had when I was 10. Now I'm 24 and living far away from her.

>>41375653

> hey anon, do you want to go biking with me? i'm training for my next triathlon
> hey anon, you're looking really skinny, make sure you eat enough
> hey anon, have you been outside this week?

then i start lifting

> hey anon, all that calorie counting and protein seems extreme, why can't you just eat a balanced diet
> hey anon, don't eat too much red meat, it's correlated with colon cancer, you know
> hey anon, i don't like the sound of this 'cutting', it seems a little obsessive, like an eating disorder

i mean my mom is pretty cool but goddamn she embodies the 'urban professional who does endurance sports' stereotype to a T

>>41383141
damn, i feel kinda lucky desu.
>mother struggled with depression and migraines all her life
>got worse after giving birth
>barely left her bed for almost a decade
>mother only leaves house to go to doctor appointments
>doctor shopped like hell
>found some fucks that were willing to shill out a conveyor belt of a rainbow of opiates for years
>her mom died and she fuckin lost it
>she is on so much of so many things her doctors couldn't give her anything more, and she becomes totally dependant
>then they pulled the rug out from under her abruptly
>money goes missing while we're at school and our dad's working
>she begs my siblings and i to find someone in our highschool that sells pills
>probably ended up finding a source or more quacks with script pads
went on for about 9-10 years, roughly. she started getting better a few years ago after lots of therapy and more doctor visits, and as far as i know hasn't had any opiates for a couple years. but as much as she's improved, i still worry about her falling back into old habits. and, there's also that indescribable something that makes her stick out from most others. like she's always kind of slurred or disassociating to some degree. i imagine it's the mental equivalent to that last bit of fog lingering around after the rest has dissipated.

File: 1494176193107.jpg (656KB, 850x1128px) Image search: [Google]

656KB, 850x1128px

>I wish you were 6'+
>I know I'm 5'2" and your dad is 5'6", but look how tall white boys are
>Look how successful x is
>I hope your younger sisters grow taller than you

t. 5'11" Asian

>I asked your dad about that creatine stuff you were talking about and he said it was banned by the MLB in the 90's, I also read a study saying it's not healthy for young people to take, so you can't have it
>You're not getting Melanotan 2, injecting stuff to tan easier is gross and not natural, but I bought you this natural herbal supplement at the store that makes you tan easier after you've been taking it and trying to tan outside for a month

>>41383503
>injecting melatonin
>living with parents
Kys

>>41378820
tfw when I got serious about lifting and getting healthy, and brute forced my entire family to also finally get healthy
FeelsGoodMan

> I know you're on a diet anon, so I made you this pasta.
> You can eat all the pasta you want and lose weight because it has no fat in it
T-t-thanks mom

>anon you've been eating a lot recently. Trying to put on weight?
>What are you cooking, anon? Looks nice. But I shouldn't eat any cause I just started my diet.
>Hey you look exhausted from all the work you're doing recently, I brought you home a sandwich

I like my mom.

>>41383536
Is there something wrong with that?

File: 1480533675777.jpg (38KB, 657x527px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 657x527px

>>41376065

>>41375653
>Anon what's this C4 stuff?
>It's like coffee mom
>Can I have some for when I go to my yoga class?
>Sure mom but it's strong
>HOLY FUCK ANON HOW DO YOU DRINK THIS

She bought a tub for herself a week later.

>>41383487
>5'11"
>Asian
>Dad 5'6"
>Mom 5'2"
You should be proud of your genetics anon
Considering all the factors, you are really lucky. You're still above average and you should be happy.

>>41383823
Yeah, but I still hate my mom for making me insecure about that shit. Fucking Asian moms, my man...

I grew up in America and my parents were able to provide me nutritious foods. Plus I was a fat fuck prior to puberty, so I'm pretty sure that contributed to my total height, too.

I'm 18. Do you think I'll grow more? I see all these tall Chinese, Korean, and white bois, whereas I'm a 5'11" average Vietnamese man.

>>41383503
Idk how old you are, so maybe parents buying you shit and controlling what you do is okay.
>Injecting Melatonin
Jesus christ anon. Why the fuck do you wanna end up looking like B4-4? I say this as somebody who doesn't have white skin, be proud of your skin. Having white ppl skin is okay and you should embrace it.

>>41383864
I'm Indian
My mom is like 5'5", my dad is like 5'7". I somehow grew up to be 5'11", but my mom constantly fucking tells me I should grow taller.
Also males can grow in height until they're 21, so you and me still have a chance friendo

>>41383899
Haha, I love Indians. You guys are such bros, I sat next to this smart Indian boi back in calculus my sophomore year of high school. I love curry, too, my man.

How old are you?

>>41378554
This

>>41383868
>Why the fuck do you wanna end up looking like B4-4?
They have an ugly orange tan, I want a light one or a medium one, kinda like those models in that one picture, the 3 chads that are standing on a dock. You know the one.
>I say this as somebody who doesn't have white skin, be proud of your skin. Having white ppl skin is okay and you should embrace it.
My skin is sickishly pale from years of being inside all the time. I glow when I'm in the sun. Also becoming tan makes blemishes, acne, etc not look as bad as they would on a pale person. Makes it a lot better. It also makes dark circles around your eyes a lot less prominent and noticeable.

>>41375653
>Anon, you want to develop long, lean muscles. Those short muscles some girls have will make you look stumpy.
>You're not taking that whey stuff are you?
>Let me get you an appointment with a personal trainer. He'll teach you how to use all the machines and stuff correctly.
>So what machines do you use?

File: 1480723950774s.jpg (2KB, 100x125px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 100x125px

>>41378554
o god

>another LARP thread

Autism

>>41382968
Until you need surgery or medicine, then you'r almost homeless.

>>41378554

>tfw

>>41384071
>getting mad over 61 people enjoying themselves
autism

>>41380056
How did you end up here m8?

>>41379010
4chan is mommy issues the site though so it makes sense.

>>41375739
kek

'Anon, you're getting too big. Don't spend so much time caring about what you look like, girls find it very unattractive.'

File: 1478931529286.jpg (144KB, 618x597px) Image search: [Google]

144KB, 618x597px

>You shouldn't be going to the gym at 4am. What if you get attacked by someone? Change it

>>41384992
What time do you go to bed?

>>41385027
9pm

>why won't dad support anon?
>he hit a wall and for 4 years failed to break into any career interest he had because of a lack of education or qualifications you could have given him
>I begged him not to join and now I worry about him being killed every single day
>you haven't tried to rebuild your relationship with him despite my efforts and his to reach out
>he could be safely living at home with his girlfriend, near to us and moving up in his career if you weren't so stuck in your own mindset
Love you mum, I'll be alright and I'm sending you a surprise sum to help with rent for that little cottage you found for yourself. I hope dad is enjoying his trip to Spain.

File: 1493235429419-fit.png (741KB, 3006x2194px) Image search: [Google]

741KB, 3006x2194px

>>41376065

>tfw mom is suffering from dementia and rarely talks anymore
>I love you, anon
>I'm so glad you're happy now son
That and lots of hugs.

>>41383926
Stop bonding you faggots. Btw my mom is 5'4 and my dad is 5'5 , I'm 5'10, bow before the king.

>Are you coming to visit here during the winter break?
>Are you feeling depressed again?
>Here's a program about a depression I saw on TV
>Are you coming to visit here during the Easter holidays?
>Are you making progress on your bachelor's thesis?
>Are you coming to visit during summer?
>I'm coming to visit you anon. I'll bring some fruits, is there anything else you need?

I want to sort myself out so she can stop worrying about me. She doesn't live alone, she just wants to see me I guess. I only visit once a year for a week during Christmas.

>I love you, anon
>You should call more often
>How's the gf?
>You still looking for work
>Keep it up, I'm sure you'll find something
I won the mum lottery

>>41385729
Shit. I lost both my grandmothers to that. Not easy being cheesy. My condolences.

>He is such a loser
>Born with my genetics, I that studied medicine summa cum laude and has been working her ass of all life
>He could achieve so much with my genetics but he never will

She's right though. I don't have an ounce of ambition within me.

File: 1371475113189.png (449KB, 547x539px) Image search: [Google]

449KB, 547x539px

>How was your day? Have you meet any girls?
Every single day she somehow has to mention girls in some form, I get it mom, you want me to prove I'm not a failure, but please, I have lots of work right now

>>41385827
GO AND VISIT HER YOU SHITBAG

>>41377006

Mental illness and no understanding of basic societal concepts here on display lads.

>>41383998
You spastic. The picture of those guys at the dock has a fucking Instagram filter slapped on it

>>41385942
My dad did this from 17-20. When I actually got a life and started banging and got some money and fucked hookers on the side, we started sharing stories.

File: 8524aaaef2fee88987f05b92557ef14237ab0e641bb4d908514ac29e90bf7cc3.jpg (46KB, 600x589px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 600x589px

>>41385729
I didn't come here for feels

>>41378554
fugg

>>41385827
what the fuck. how far do you live?

>>41386145
An 1½h train ride away.

Haha, my mum had pretty much all the concerns listed in this thread. Luckily, she's an open minded person and when I sit her down and explain the science and rationale behind she comes round, which is a lot more than most older people can say about changing their mind.

Love you mum.

>>41375653

My piece of shit son didn`t even called me on mothers` day, I wonder if he will invite me to his wedding, even if I abandoned him 10 years ago.

<thanks for the feels though, OP

>>41385872
Thanks anon. Seeing her slowly wither away and waiting for the inevitable is horrible. At least her meds slow down the process, so that's something.

>>41383899
I'm 6'0" and my mom says I should have grown taller.
She's 4'10".

>>41386153

1.5 hours and you only visit once a year? dude go visit your fucking mom. Do you have any idea how much pain shes probably in for barely ever seeing you

Mothers of the future are going to know all this stuff, imagine coming home from the gym and your mother asking you what flavour protein shake you want...

>>41386237
My big brother with his two kids lives close by so she's spends lots time with him and the grandkids so I don't think it's that bad. My brother pities me too and visiting usually makes me feel bad about how my life has gone. I know I'm basically just ashamed of myself and don't want to see people who remind me of that.

>>41375739
shut the fuck up anita cruz

My mother is a histrionic narcissist. I still love her because she is my mom, but I also don't want to deal with her shit. Her side of the family and she always think they can talk over me and they know more than me on every subject.

>Don't go on keto/IF anon, your body will produce acetone!!!
>Why do you want to lift weights, you want to look like one of those roidheads?
>You don't like parsley/cheap store brand blue cheese? I'm sorry, didn't know, but deal with it, not gonna change the recepie just because you're a picky eater
The above literally happens every family get together

Divorced my father who made a fuckload more money than her because 'he wasn't paying enough attention to her' and then took custody because 'you can't separate a mother from her child!' even though we lived in on the fucking poverty line for most of my childhood while my father was well off. Her scumbag boyfriend was a borderline pedo feeling up my ass all the time. Used to steal the allowance my dad gave me and when I finally found out where she stashed the money and took it I got shit on for 'stealing money from her'. Got shit on my entire life for playing vidya as an escapism because I was your regular 4chan underachieving-but-still-getting-good-grades nerd, after which I proceeded to make bank by playing professionally and to this day I work in the games industry, never fucking relented on her stance even when I brought up her saying multiple times that I'm never gonna make money playing games.

At least we live in different cities nowadays and I don't have to suffer through her bullshit all that much. Hold me buds, we're all gonna make it.

>>41383536
>>41383868
It's melanotan, the thing that makes you tan but fucks up your brain chemistry.

>anon you are getting quite big in the last year
>you aren't taking anything damaging for your health right?
Funny thing is I still think I'm not getting big enough for the time I spend lifting.

>>41385050
>getting seven hours sleep a night at most

not gonna make it

>>41378554
;_;

>>41386555
Apparently 8 hours is the minimum for young teens-adults, but somewhere along the line it became the standard.

>>41377522
kekkonen

>anon i can't stand the taste of the pre-workout i bought, do you wan't it?
>anon try these protein bars they're nice.

My mom lifts at the same gym as me.

>You've started a diet? Here have some cake!
>What, a mother can't care for her son?
>Well forgive me for ever doing anything!

File: sud.png (293KB, 643x900px) Image search: [Google]

293KB, 643x900px

>You're going to the gym? Well then let me discourage you by telling you that you're doing terrible even though you have pituitary conditions working against you and have to do twice the work for half the results.

>Your best friend for 10 years left you because she just wanted you around to look hotter? And now that you're getting thin, she doesn't want you around? Must have been your fault, you're the one that broke up that friendship, it's your fault.

>Oh, your boyfriend dumped you because you're sick and tried to get into a relationship with another girl while you two were still dating? Well, their relationship needed to happen, you were getting in the way of them being happy.

>You've had clinical, unmedicated depression for almost 10 years, now listen to how much I suffer because of your condition.

>Oh, the sister and mother I've been badmouthing for years want a relationship with you and you don't want to be involved with my family? You're the devil.

>Oh you've tried to commit suicide? Well I think I'm depressed. You almost killed yourself, now look at me and listen to how miserable you make me.

>You're the reason I will commit suicide.

>There's nothing wrong with my behavior, you're gaslighting me. You're delusional. You're wrong, I'm right. There's no possibly way I can be at fault for anything. You have suggested I might be wrong? Fine, you're homeless.

I think she's actually mentally ill.

File: 1462625835843.gif (2MB, 300x225px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 300x225px

>>41387682
holy shit

>oh you're losing weight, can I do it with you so I have a partner?
>what do you mean I have to count calories
>I can't have ice cream? But I did good today and went for a walk
>I can't have my nightly drinks anymore? Anon this is too hard

>>41375653
My son is starting to worry. He says hes benched over 100 which is extremely dangrous and the othr day i heard him talking about lifting the dead. Im so scared rn, i think hes also taking creatine. I don know what to do! I tried talking to me but he just says he knows what hes doing. Well, he obviously doesnt! He eats like 4 eggs a day and drinks so much milk!

Pls what do? I feae he might also be homosexual

>>41377238
My dad borrowed 1100 dollars from me. I see him buying wine every single day.

Adictions are fucking horrible.

>>41387682
It's okay, both my parents are diagnosed with mental illnesses, take medication for their illnesses, and see a psychiatrist for their mental illnesses. I get diagnosed and suddenly I'm the worst most useless piece of shit they've seen in their life and I'm obviously faking just because all I want to do is sit around the house and play video games all day. They're not going to waste money on a lazy piece of shit to get therapy.

>>41387833
That legitimately sucks.

>>41377522
Lmao

>>41378554
Hit too close

>>41383028
Agreed. I get pissed when I see a young girl dressed like a whore. Think that if she was my daughter I would beat her ass.

>>41375782

F

>>41375653

>Walk to the tv room and see mom on the couch
>Don't even mention anything about what she's eating when we talk
>Out of the blue
>"I went for a walk yesterday so it's okay to treat myself to some ice cream"

File: 1433347995553.png (296KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

296KB, 640x480px

>>41377522
This made me laugh way harder than it should have

>>41378554
Are you Asian?

>you aren't taking steroids right?
>my friends say you can't get that big without steroids
>you know how dangerous steroids are right?

Lmao I've been b&c for 2 years now but I'll never tell

>>41387763

> lifting the dead

k e k

>>41375653

>Wow you look so skinny now
>I was wrong to be worried
>You deserve a nice girl
>I'm proud of how happy you are

Sounds cheesy but I'm glad to have such a good mother

>wow Jim are you sure you should be drinking those monsters, I heard they can give you heart attacks
>Uhh mom they're called SIPS and no they're fine since they're the sugar free ones
>Okay but you shouldn't drink them, just drink some gatorade or Kool aid instead

File: dexterdad.jpg (7KB, 154x154px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 154x154px

>>41376065

>>41377118
>Hey anon we're going to order some pizzas do you want one for yourself?
>eating whole pizzas
Shit I member when I could eat whole medium sized pizza by myself [spoiler]now I can barely eat half of it[/spoiler]

File: 1484206940663.gif (35KB, 501x600px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 501x600px

>>41378554
>when a post hits too close

>>41387682
Move out fag
#nocontactpolicy

File: 1492372220154.gif (347KB, 204x200px) Image search: [Google]

347KB, 204x200px

>>41376065

File: 1485285410871.jpg (7KB, 231x218px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 231x218px

>>41376065

>>41378522
an-94 mags are supposed to be canted, it's crucial to the function of the lifter and the 1800rpm 2 round burst. basically another round sits right behind the chamber and after the first round is fired, the bolt doesn't have to come all the way back to retrieve another cartridge

>>41375782
did she died?

>>41387682
it's gonna be okay bro, just get some help. seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
I know this is "bee urself" tier advice, but it really does get better. you got this, anon.

File: angry_pepe.jpg (40KB, 900x900px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 900x900px

>>41380056
Fuck you I'm so jealous

>>41378251
who is this filipino boy that you speak of? a-asking for a friend

>>41383089
Those first 2 would infuriate me.

>>41388165

I would fuck her ass.

>>41383066
Ayy went from to 190 this sounds say to familiar.

>>41386223
Dunk on her

>>41386280
Tell your brother to fuck off, and your mom seeing him doesn't mean she doesn't want to see you more.

>>41386418
Your mom is a cunt anon.

File: helicopter.jpg (35KB, 800x533px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 800x533px

>Whatever you want to be anon, I love you and that's all that matters
> We have to pick our battles anon
> Everybody has a boss anon
> anon has a beautiful singing voice
I don't
> I've decided we shouldn't talk about politics at dinner
I voted for Trump
> [Email:] I love you and miss you anon!
God bless my heli mom

File: IMG_1143.jpg (71KB, 482x427px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 482x427px

>>41378554
Spot on, fuck

File: 1406931693923.jpg (6KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 250x250px

>>41376065

>>41378554
>all these replies
>those kids all ended up here

Really makes you think. Not part of this club btw

>>41385729
I know that feel. I moved back in with my parents to look after them to make sure they were ok. I don't know how I am going to handle it when they die.

File: Haram.png (22KB, 112x112px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 112x112px

>>41376065

>>41384176
kek

File: 1492979443038.png (15KB, 904x542px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 904x542px

>>41378554

>>41375653
>I'm going to smoke 5 packs of cigarettes, drink 4 liters of pepsi and then complain to my son that his keto diet is unhealthy from my bed that I can't physically move from.

>>41375653
Basically for all these reasons listed above I don't see my mom ever. Thing is my dad was worse than her
>anon do you eat steak every day? all that red meat is bad for you, here would you like a chocolate biscuit
>You don't need to go to the gym if you work hard enough at your job
>why do you want to put on weight you are 6' tall and weigh 120lbs that is perfectly normal

File: thumbsup.jpg (25KB, 301x267px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 301x267px

>>41377522
That was legitimately excellent wit, anon. I want you to know that.

File: 1489069806909.jpg (68KB, 592x594px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 592x594px

>>41376065

File: tmp_19591-1492604229096-1084472362.jpg (28KB, 370x699px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 370x699px

>>41378554

File: images.jpg (5KB, 299x168px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 299x168px

You shouldn't be taking that powder it's not natural and it's bad for you!

>>41390413
who would have thought. Giving your young male child crippling inadequacy issues would affect their long term happiness

>>41382968
>"i eat fast food because i can't afford to eat healthy" -fat americans

>b-but america rich america no 1

>protein is bad for your kidneys eat carbs and salad

>what is this stuff it has artifical sweetener stop you will get cancer

>>41387682
Find a friend's place stay. You shouldn't stay in a house with someone like that.

>>41375739
i didn't say ex girlfriend! Reeeeeeee!!

My mother is borderline anorexic and weighs less than my sister and has a truly pathetic ammount of muscle mass, yet decided to buy the same mass gainer as me, but DOESN'T work out. When I go back to visit, I'm going to fucking force her on SS.

>>41383455
she's also taking benzos, anon. you need to tell her to stop mixing the two because you will stop breathing in your sleep

t. someone who has stopped breathing because of exactly that

File: yelling-mom-6187597.jpg (93KB, 620x321px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 620x321px

>I could kill you, do 20 years in jail, and get out with enough time to enjoy my life

Then she kicked me out of the house when I was 15 for some school bullshit.

She got arrested for embezzlement and I didn't let her move in with me when she got out. She still resents me to this day, but fuck her

File: jThLmOb.png (423KB, 645x645px) Image search: [Google]

423KB, 645x645px

>>41375653
>I'm glad anon is working out and and isn't fat
>I hope he isn't eating too much fast food
>I'll have to get him a birthday and christmas present since he was out of the country this year

File: 1484712292011.jpg (49KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 1280x720px

>>41377522

>>41378554
yep

>>4139391
That is nice :)

File: 1482951854373.jpg (52KB, 319x276px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 319x276px

>>41378554
STOP IT STOP IT RIGHT NOW

File: giphy.gif (482KB, 500x269px) Image search: [Google]

482KB, 500x269px

>>41378554

>>41387682
>Fine, you're homeless.
Happened to me. Haven't seen her in 2 years, own apartment, getting my life together, still depressed

Some people just weren't meant to be parents. If you want kids, make yourself into the parent you would have wanted to have

File: 820.jpg (25KB, 550x336px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 550x336px

>>41376065

File: 1439383376794.jpg (42KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 600x600px

>>41385879
Hit too close to home anon.

File: 20170503_230534.jpg (85KB, 476x371px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 476x371px

"You're a fucking child. Why is your father buying you protein mix if its not doing anything?"

My mum used to powerlift in college and shes only 5'3". Set records at campus apparently. Said this to me after watching me tap out of 1pl8 when starting out in home gym

Actually oregano

File: Feel bird.jpg (45KB, 552x435px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 552x435px

>>41378554
lift me up from these feels lads
Way to close

>I bought you some carnitine from the shop anon it was on sale
>I bought chicken broccoli and rice like you asked for , we will prepare it all on Sunday
>what time am I picking you up from the gym?

You guys make me realise how based my mum actually is .

File: Happy_Pepe.jpg (25KB, 480x424px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 480x424px

My mom is a type 1 diabetic, but I've never once heard her complain or whine about it. Honestly, it's a sucky condition, but I have no respect for people who can't even manage their type 2 diabetes. She also made sure to teach us how to eat healthy - when I was growing up, one of the most special foods for me was breakfast cereals, since she never allowed me to buy them.

She's probably the nicest person I know, honestly. She also really doesn't like fat people. I love my mom.

>>41377118
>Hey anon we're going to the chinese buffet want to come?
fuck yes mom thanks for the invite! now i can get big like the guys at the gym

File: 1439206683359.jpg (8KB, 179x223px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 179x223px

>My anon is such a handsome young man! When will he bring home a girlfriend.
>No your not ugly anon

I'm trying mother

>>41394574
>tfw your mom knows you're KV since you never brought a girl home

Hold me /fit/

>>41394574
>grandpa thinks your are gay because he's never seen you with a girl.

>>41378554
Holy shit

>>41394574
>>41394605
>tfw fucked a girl who was staying with us
>felt bad about it and apologized to my parent
>tfw that sigh of relief when they realized I'm not gay

>I wish you would call me more.
>I only live 5 blocks away.
>I know you don't need me to get her from school this week, but can i get her a day anyway? I really miss my granddaughter.

>Where did I go wrong?
>You seem to be a failure at everything you do.
>Couldn't keep good grades.
>Couldn't get a girlfriend.
>Couldn't get a better job.
>I shouldn't have had you


I know she's stressed but these are the things I've heard her say. It's not my fault she married that dickbag of a stepdad and now his demonspawn are ruining her life. I'm not even one of his children FFS.

>you made A honor roll? good now do it again oh hey desperate housewives is on tv
>no i can't help you with --- you need to be independent. at your age i had 8 jobs
>TEN DOLLARS????? You just asked me for 5 dollars last year
>sorry i couldn't come to your soccer match
>sorry i couldn't come to your piano recital
>sorry i couldn't come to your academic bowl
>how do you like your new car? it was only $600 what a bargain i say
>no i can't help you fix your car do you help fix mine? that's what i thought
>is that a beer? jesus fucking christ you're 17 give me that you're grounded for a month
>will you get out can't you see i'm busy?

>hurry up and get ready your brother has a football game at 6 lets be an hour early for seats
>if you don't take your brother out with you you're not going
>put some clothes on anon we're going to the mercedes dealer to look at cars for your brother
>oh boy anon your brother got expelled it's okay we were thinking about sending him to catholic school anyway
>anon help me your brother got arrested for weed possession it's okay though i know teens like to experiment
>sorry i can't help pay for college you know how difficult i have it supporting your brother
>dont you tell me how to be a parent i dont care if he's 19 and doesnt work or study he said he's joining the military soon
>anon why don't you ever call me anymore

File: ahm fhukken dhhyeein in hehere.jpg (46KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 500x281px

>Hi, I'm a stupid bitch
>I did cocaine and smoked while I was pregnant so that you are genetically predisposed to addiction, anon lol.
>BTW I'm going to force you to eat mcdonald's for your entire childhood while I develop anorexia and then guilt trip you and say it's your fault that I can't afford enough food for myself.
>As you grow older I'll require you to financially support me and then threaten to kill myself if you try to leave
>Anon, why do you always have that look on your face like you hate everything?

>>41375653
>This was real:

You see anon i told you not to take these protein shakes, God knows whats in them... Oh my God just look at all those veins in your arms... Its all because of those nasty Protein Shakes.

>>41396111
>genetically predisposed to addiction
sounds like you are just a weak minded bitch anon.

Dude this thread.
Holy fuck.
I'm sorry guys, I really am.
When it comes to my up bringing and my childhood, those SJWs are spot on.
>privileged as fuck

Who here /l u c k y c h i l d h o o d/

File: 1483277636070.jpg (850KB, 1300x1300px) Image search: [Google]

850KB, 1300x1300px

>>41376065

We too are losing weight, I'm so glad you decided to start working out again. Keep it up, you're doing well

>>41375653
>If you can't do it right first try, don't try at all
>Don't bother going to college, you're not smart like your sisters
>You should drop out, get a job and support your sisters. They are smart
>Your not a real man, you don't play sports
Starts lifting, gets PHD
>You're still not as smart as your sisters or me (all only have B.S.)
>Why lift, you've never had a gf, your obviously gay (had 5+ gfs, never introduced them to her)
>You tried to commit suicide? figures you would be a failure at that as well
>You are such an awful failure
Fuck her, I'm the most successful person in my family, most muscular, best looking, and have a long term gf I'm happy with, she just hates me for some reason

>>41378554
yep these things plus being treated like a piece of shit and blamed for everything that went wrong.
seriously FUCK these capchas

Anon, you really want to lose another 20 lbs? I know you've still got a tummy, but I think anything more would be dangerous! You've already lost a 110 lbs, are you eating?

Oh, 1800 calories a day? Well I just don't believe you.

I don't care that we're friends on MFP! You could be lying for all I know!

File: 1492912387266.jpg (27KB, 591x448px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 591x448px

>>41375739

>tfw mom prays that I have disabled kids unironically

>>41376065
>someone on 4chan mentions incest
>this is accompanied by a flurry of reaction images
Every damn time.

>Anon, look at those arms
>are you going to the gym, I was just up there
>hey muscle man!

Been lifting for 3 months with decent gains, my Mum is the best

>>41388635
shit I used to be able to eat an entire large pizza by myself

and I'm a skelly

File: 1473611647603.jpg (1MB, 1689x1469px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1689x1469px

>>41378554
Spot fucking on

Wish I had never gone to college only to find out it wasn't for me and that I didn't learn a damn thing there after being thousands of dollars in debt

>>41383089
literally saved their asses from losing the house
>Why can't you buy a house
Did she think before she said that shit? your mom sounds really fucking similar to my mom and this enrages me

File: 1429984053402.jpg (99KB, 400x600px) Image search: [Google]

99KB, 400x600px

>>41378554

>>41396018

Forces you to go to your brothers sporting events, never went to your own or rarely did.

What a massive fucking cunt, was your brother older or younger?

File: AN-94s in the wild.jpg (92KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 600x400px

>>41389095
I know.
It gets me hard.

>>41396018
They probably expect success from you with minimal investment from them, anon. Since it looks like you're an achiever since early age and they got accustomed to that.

>>41396428
Y tho

File: wojak.png (21KB, 357x313px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 357x313px

>>41386418
>My mother is a histrionic narcissist

Same man

>Growing up me and my bro always heard my mom and dad arguing and fighting a lot probably when i was 8 or so, mom constantly yelled and threw stuff at my dad
>constantly threatening to hurt my dad i.e "I'm going to fucking stab you in the back with the largest knife we have and break the fucking handle off" as well as throwing glass cups and other shit at my dad
>dad sleeps on couch out in living room for years
>parents basically become roommates
>Brother was raised slightly better than I was. He wasn't always pushed down and told no like I was but he still had it bad

Both my brother and I hate our mom and agree that we don't feel any love towards her
I have a extremely monotone voice which I attribute all the fighting and emotional abuse because I didn't have it when I was younger
fast forward to about halfway through elementary school

>parents divorce, mom says my dad was cheating on her, dad says mom cheated on him which turned out to be true and my dad already knew the relationship was dead so he started seeing another chick shortly before they started filing for divorce
>I see my dad on his days off, thankfully my mom wasn't granted full custody otherwise I would have killed myself or run away

fast forward a year or two

>5th or 6th grade my dad gets diagnosed with AML (Acute myeloid leukemia)
>I don't see him for a few years

Dad beat it but it took a few years

>finally start seeing my dad again in middle school.

during this time my mom had about 3 failed relationships and my brother and I separated ourselves from her as much as we could while living under the same room as her
fast forward to now, senior year in high school. Got into lifting junior year but I wasn't as serious about it back then as I am now.

still have a bit more to write but about to run out of characters

>>41397388
Cont.

>Mom is now like 43 I don't care enough about her to pay attention to her age
>got married to some schmuck about 10 years her junior
>She just gave birth to her third child about 6 months ago and expects me and my brother to help take care of it whenever she asks.

says shit like "Family is family you don't choose who you are and aren't related to but you still have to love him (baby)" thinking it'll make me feel sorry for her and her fucking mistakes
>expects me to fucking love the thing even though we have a 18 1/2 year gap.

When I get a job I swear I'm gonna move out and see about renting a place with a few of my buddies to escape this fat cunt and her fucking cuck of a husband

>>41397431
I almost feel bad for the kid, probably gonna turn out the same way me and my brother are and hate our fucking mom unless she brainwashes it into loving her.

>>41375782
5/5

>gained about 80 lbs since I graduated college
>dawned on me that I have no excuse to be fat as fatass
>lose 15, need to drop another 70 or so
>see mom for Passover
>"you look good, you don't want to lose any more than 10 lbs though or you'll look sickly"
>tell her I need to lose another 70 at least
>tells me I'm meshuggah

>>41377237
I love you come back home

File: 1492848472661.jpg (1MB, 3154x2503px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 3154x2503px

>look at all these Muslim gangs roaming the streets
>I'm paying for them with my own labour
>Look at that one in a BMW, welfare monkeys
>At least there's a white kid on the front cover this year and not some niglet
>Indian women are such bitches
>I work with one and she is horrible
>my Muslim coworker takes too many breaks to pray
>Anon, what do you want for dinner?
>Love you anon

>>41378251
Not having a qt white ladyboy fucking degenerate

File: 1484216644229.gif (412KB, 318x176px) Image search: [Google]

412KB, 318x176px

>>41397190
>a /k/ommando that actually isn't a fat degenerate slob
Dude I love guns but there's so many fatties attracted to them.

>>41397186
Younger of course

>>41396327
I love you anon I always will

File: sad-mom.jpg (587KB, 1000x667px) Image search: [Google]

587KB, 1000x667px

>>41375653
I wish my son wouldn't be an autistic virgin with no friends. Why can't he just be normal?

>>41388635
Never Gunna make it

>>41388635
Ever since I got my appetite under control one slice is enough for me, with maybe a single piece of garlic bread.

I wasn't brought up, I was dragged up. My mother didn't ever care what I did as long as I wasn't hurting anyone. When I told her I wanted to get in shape her reaction was "That's good, you need it. You're paying for your own fucking food though." Then she went back to watching TV.

The only reason she kept me around was child support money, now that I'm 21 the only reason she keeps me around is because I'm making money.

She'll be on her own in August if everything goes to plan though. Got a nice place lined up my friend is moving out of.

>>41387682
london?

>>41397200
This is what I thought for a while. I can't really explain without sounding like a whiney bitch but whatever. I've been nothing but an out of trouble kid that took all accelerated classes in school, excelled in academics, did music, sports, whatever my parents told me to do, etc and they never gave a shit. I do one thing wrong and it's the end of the world. On the other hand, my brother is the definition of a wigger. Drugs, alcohol, skips school, every other word is fuck, you name it. They adore him and spoil him left and right. The thing that made me the most mad was when it was time to apply for colleges. I had scholarships left and right but my dad wouldn't let me look at anything other than local community colleges or junior colleges. I had a 2 year scholarship to a state university and enough money to last me 3 years and he wouldn't let me go because he didn't want to spend a penny on it. Gave no shits about my future. I accepted anyway and called me an dumbass for the next month. Fyi we're very upper middle class so it wouldn't have even been a problem.

And now they get pissy when I don't come around. They threw a fit when I moved away with a 3 week notice. Thanks for viewing my rant on my blog

>>41375653
My mom died when I was 4 and all I have left as far direct communication from her is a hastily written crumpled note that she handed to my dad a week before she passed. So I'll just write what she tells me there.

>Anon, I love you.
>Go to college and learn everything you can.
>Get married and have kids.
>Be happy, anon.
>Anon, I love you.

I will, mom. I promise.

>>41378554
DELETTE

>>41378554
are you me?
so much this...
and she doesn't even aknowledge she did wrong, in her head im the crazy one

File: 1486695690664.jpg (45KB, 754x417px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 754x417px

>>41378554
DELTETEETE THIS

>>41381342
kek

>mum

"Look at your back anon, I'm so proud of you"

>dad

"Fucking hell, white Mike Tyson just got out the shower"

>gf

"Look at your veins, ew"

WHY CAN'T YOU APPRECIATE MY BODY LIKE MY FAMILY DOES, WOMAN

>>41378554

I don't mean to blame my upbringing but fuck man.

>>41378554
>tfw parents decide to move to a location roughly a 40 minute drive from my high school, just in the middle of a desert
>all those times my friends invited me to go hang out with them, my folks said no because they didn't want to drive all the way there
>friends don't want to drive out all the way to my place all the time and I frankly don't blame them
>even by the time I got my license, my folks didn't want me using their cars because they were super paranoid about it
>can't find a job to save my life because the only stores are 10 minutes away and there's like 4 of them, nothing like Wal-mart or Target for retail
>couldn't move out because none of my friends were either in town anymore after high school or already were getting married
>just go to college by hitching a ride with my dad since he works there, just continue living with them while I just rot in my room

I don't know how I got so damn lucky. One of my crushes from high school inviting me to live with her and two other friends of hers for a few years. Lost a ton of weight around that time and started lifting again after last doing it in high school.

The worst part is I know my mom would be enabling me still and letting me sit around and do jack shit, just as my grandmother did for my uncle. I would've hit over 300 pounds at least.

File: 23b.jpg (63KB, 599x599px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 599x599px

>>41376065

>>41397898
They like guns because they can still pretend like they can be Joey Badass.

File: ive become so numb I cant feel you there.jpg (132KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

132KB, 640x360px

>>41375653
Time to post another facebook meme about how working out is dumb and doesn't help you! I won't even bother to check if this doctor is real or if he even said that!

Oh hi son, it's nice to see you! I tried working out like you did, but it didn't work. Wii Fit doesn't seem to be working. Anyways what do you want from McDonalds?

Have you found any cute girls yet?

File: thatsnotweedusagi.png (79KB, 192x208px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 192x208px

>>41387682
Woke up at 6 am today to go for a jog/walk.

Go into common room to get key.

Her bedroom is right there, and at 6 am she starts bitching at me and telling me that I'm sabotaging her sleep on purpose by going out this early.

I'm done.

>>41375653
>Weightlifting doesn't matter
>You have to do cardio
>And more cardio
>Fatty fat fat fatty
>You are so fat
>Have you done some cardio yet
>Do more
T-t-thanks mom

File: 1421892724008.jpg (6KB, 125x110px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 125x110px

>>41376065

>>41400883
Your mom is psychotic and a manipulator. Get out of there as soon as possible

>>41377006
autism speaks.jaypeg

File: IMG_4123.jpg (43KB, 415x409px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 415x409px

>hey anon
>you know you have to call X for work, right?
>and do that task
>and that one
>and write your bach thesis
>I don't care if you're waiting for professor feedback, you gotta write it
>I know you know. Have you called Y for work?
>I don't care he said he would call you back, call him again tomorrow
>that's nice that you raised your whatever pr yeah yeah anyway I'm so stressed about work
>protein is bad for your kidneys anyway, check out these vegan athletes I've googled
>what do you mean I don't seem to care about what you tell me? What do you mean your goals and interests? Sure, I'm a terrible mom and all that jazz, I get it
>*click*

Every day for the past four years.

>>41401354

They pull that shit all the time, the 'I'm a terrible parent' schtick.

Whenever a parent resorts to saying that, they usually are.

>>41377006
Freudianism was a mistake

>>41401057

I'm kind of fucked, I don't have a friend's house I can go to or even a car, and I live in the middle of rural Texas.

She did, however, hit me less than two years ago. She punched me in the stomach while screaming 'I hate you'. And the police did say that was grounds for assault charges. The problem is that I have nowhere to go, not even for a couple of nights. There's not even a homeless shelter anywhere, the most luck I would have is finding someone's barn to hide in.