*MIRIN STORIES*

>>41371687
>Be me
>One of the swolest guys at school at 18.
>Seated dumbbell pressed 90s for 3 reps the other day.
>Mired nearly everyday.
>ONLY BY GUYS AND OLDER WOMEN, NEVER GIRLS MY AGE.
>"You-you-u bench?"
>One time sitting in class with ear buds.
>The fucking teacher is laughing at me.
>I take off my my earbuds to figure out why she's laughing.
>She calls me over to her desk and tells me that a kid in the hallway yelled something like "holy fuark his arms!"
>She knows I have no friends and tries to make me feel better.
>"So yeah, it was funny, hope it made you feel good about your..Guns.."
>After thinking about why only guys and old women mire me, i grab the tape measure.
>5'10"
>Well that's the end of my chapter.

Was this a mire or am i being delusional?
>Qt walks in room with her friend who forgot something.
>While her friend is looking for her stuff i glance at the qt.
>She glances at me too and make awkward eye contact.
>i look away quickly
>She has a slight smile as she is looking away.
>She glances at me again.
>This time we hold it for a couple seconds
>She still has that smiley expression.
>Her friend finds her shit and they leave.
>As they walk out the door she glances at me again and leaves.
i am only 5'9" and not very attractive, so i dont know why she would look at me like that unless i was doing something autistic and not realizing it.

>>41371746
>She calls me over to her desk

Should have bent her over and fuck her on the desk. Not gonna make it/10

>>41371746
It's not your height you're just ugly bro.

>>41371687
>go to gym
>deadlift 3 pl8
>few people lolling impressed because my gym is full of overweight middle aged men who look really fucking lost

That's about it

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>hang out with a bro I haven't seen in a while
>go to his flat, there's a chick there. as it turns out, its one of his roommates.
>having some conversation around a small round table with some Mike's hard lemonade (so delicious)
>wearing an old shirt that has shrunk in the wash, so my biceps were filling the sleeve to the brim (prob like 14" at the time)
>girl in the midst of conversation interrupts and asks to feel my arms
>sure, tell them I've been hitting the gym recently. (6 months, 165lbs@5'10" think Im still dyel mode) have mini convo about fitness
>afterward resume regular conversation
>can feel her eyes lingering on me, like she didnt really notice me before
>can feel her directing more attention in the conversation to me
>fast forward an hour and a half, I've got to leave, hug my bro & her, then leave
>next day, get a text from her. apparently she asked my friend for my number
>don't text her back because I don't want to cuck friend and also cuz autism

I probably missed out. Regardless, feelsgoodman to have fruition come from my work in the gym.

>>41371945
You fucking queer. You raging homosexual. You absolute cock sucking, ball fondling, ass grabbing, deep throating, cum gobbling, dick licking, having-sex-with-other-men-and-liking-it-and-then-asking-for-more, complete and utter FAGGOT

>>41372019
You've clearly blown a better opportunity, haven't you?

>>41371945
never pass up a good thing

>>41371945
Not cucking your friend.

He shouldn't fuck his roommate anyway, such a bad idea. Clearly you can be comfortable talking to her, just hang out with her again and see what habbens.

My mom says I'm getting too big so I have that going for me I guess

these girls were flirting with me at a fast food joint today

>>41371746

she wants the D

> schools days, away on a regional track meet and just finished first of three races and have almost 2 hours before next
> track uniform is silky tank top with some silky nut huggers which I compensated for with some under armor
> head on down street to food mart in this backwards hick town
> finally get my shit and lo and behold all the lines in I assume the only place to get food around here that isn't cured meat are long which is a contrast to my small dick size
> suddenly a "come hither" floats past my ears and as I look over to the drug counter where some qt is offering to serve me next
> couple in front of me but still far back in line start bitching but she ignores that
> I stride on over and she gives me a top to bottom before I get close to the counter with a smirk when she reaches the nut huggers
> " are you like, an athlete or something"?
> I explain myself while she does her thing
> "Well my names Amber (didn't care) and I hope you win your next races"
> OK BYE
> "Hold on anon! Let me see your receipt"
> She gets a pen and starts scribbling on the back
> "There, so you don't forget my name"
> It's her name and number and I suddenly put all the pieces together
> I look at her and smile and she leans to the side of me to tell some guy behind me that the counter is closed
> I walk out to the glares of people still in line

Or something like that

>>41371687
>catch girls staring
>smile and nod at them to be friendly
>they do not initiate conversation
>i have no feelings one way or the other, i have to focus on work and achieving my personal successes anyhow
>move on with my life


such is life for russian

>>41371820
>>After thinking about why only guys and old women mire me, i grab the tape measure.
t. 6'

>>41372327
I want to achieve concerned mom mode so bad.

>>41371759
Yes that was her miring u idiot. Say hello next time

>>41371759
MIRE

>>41373051
Either tell her no or accept. Just respond you filthy autist

One of my teachers asked If I was still going gym.
>tfw he said I've gotten big
>some classmates turn around and ask me for lifting tips

Felt good man

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This girl is a professional yoga instructor...shes so hot.

Im not even super fit yet but ive gotten some decent gains and she always mires

feelsgudman

>>41373051
Tell her no luke.

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>>41373051
luke pls

>sitting in class in college
>wearing a plain black shirt, 16" biceps and 6'3, 205lbs
>break time
>my girlfriend that sat next to me goes to the bathroom
>slide over next to the other 4 girls she hangs out with
>small talk
>out of nowhere one of the girls says "do you work out or what, i dont get it"
>i say "what do you mean?"
>"i was watching you and youre all built and shit, your arms are huge, you have to be doing something, you're all muscly"
>"nah i just work around the yard sometimes"
>"so what you were born like that?"
>"i guess"
>i literally flex a cep as a joke and they start miring my arm and comparing their arms to mine
>"wow mine fits in yours like 3 times"
>eventually gf comes back
>tell her about the mires i got
>she's the only one that knows i work out

6 months of working out from skeleton mode boys. Started getting asked if i work out while in sweaters 2 months ago.

>sit next to girl in my early morning health sciences lecture
>we make conversation sometimes, get breakfast sometimes
>she's got a boyfriend so its not a big deal
>one day she wears a low cut top and fucking booty shorts
>mind starts wandering during lecture
>boner_deployed.exe
>dont really give a shit, she's a friend
>wearing tapered sweats that day and think she cant see it anyways
>get up to leave
>look down to her to say goodbye
>she's basically making eye contact with my crotch
>she quickly looks up
>her face gets red
>she says bye and starts quickly grabbing her stuff to leave
>later that week
>taking off sweatshirt and the shirt below it gets caught
>quickly go to pull the shirt down
>she's staring at my waist
>again quickly diverts eyes once i catch her
>fuark
finals are soon so i'm just going to be stuck the whole summer fapping but at least now i have material
whoever it is shes dating should seriously consider making her wear a burka and a chastity belt

>>41372719
No squatting in story as russian. Fake.

>>41373157
>>41373182

stop doxxing me

>Job involves getting heavy stuff off high shelves
>For some reason, the management hires mostly short chicks
>I'm the exception
>Always get called when there's something they can't reach
>Always "Anon be careful, we need you so don't hurt yourself"
>Caught a girl biting her lip on time
I pity everyone below 6'

>>41371945
>getting involved with a woman who had male roommates

Save yourself the trouble with a "I'm just like one of the guys!" routine. You're obviously not that into her anyway.

>>41372507
>gives me her name and number
>I put all the pieces together

Astute deduction, Holmes.

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>>41371945
>Mike's hard lemonade (so delicious)

Mfw been lifting for 9 years, fairly sure I'm reasonably good looking, intelligent and get 'mired' fairly regularly, but make no efforts with women. I think I seem normal to my family/friends but I regularly feel apathetic/gloomy /fit/. Has anyone felt like this for a long time then get over it?

>>41373451
>I pity everyone below 6'
sounds like manlet pit cleaner

>>41371687
>home for the summer from uni to save money
>all my parents friends remark how big I look
>see exs dad and step mom. First thing out of their mouths was "wow, you got big anon"


I'll take these mires

>>41373553
Yeah you have a feminine mentality
Its easy to get that, but if you want to snap out of it, you need to put some effort in to not fall for your gloomy feels

>>41371945
Oh boy, reading that story has made want to crack open a cold case of Mike's Hard Lemonade. So delicious. So Mike.

>>41373577
Please don't associate me with your kind, dwarf

>>41371945
Faggot

>>41373597
Your post is just you being sexist with no useful advice

>>41373668
>just you being sexist
do you realize where you are?

>>41373510
Calm down. He's 15, he doesnt realize how cringey it is to be into Mike's Baby's First Alcoholic Drink

>built fat, still need to lose a good 15-20 kgs
>even so, have a good chest/arms to waist ratio and look built as fuck with a shirt on
>only noticeable mirin' by older men and women
I can't imagine standards have changed that much so does this mean people my age are mirin' too and old folks just give less a fuck about hiding it? I want some mires my age damn it /fit/

>squat 450, dl 550, bench 335
>nobody says a word
>get compliments/mires every time I box jump
>older qt impressed, says she could never do that
>gym attendant asks why I don't do track

Elementary school never ends. The kid with the fastest sprint and highest jump gets the mires

>>41373051
pls respond

>>41372919
I lold so hard at this for some reason

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Are Asian mires life's greatest pleasure?

>>41373051
Luke, did I ever tell you how your father fucked prime pussy on the reg, unlike you? He was a good friend.

>>41371746
Will you guys stop with this "I'm 5'10" bullshit. You're using it as an excuse for not being confident and THAT is why they don't want you.

Pro tip: stop jerking off and guess what, bang, instant confidence. But you dorks won't believe that either!

What the fuck are you training for if you're going to hate yourself either way?

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>>41374144
>tfw can never experience a broken-english asian mire because half black

>Picture of a girl I know on Facebook
>her male friend comments TFW your not going out with [my name]
>her face in the picture lost and disappointed

>>41371746
>sits around with headphones in all day showing no interest in the women around him
>questions why they're not interested
Try reciprocating a little bit. Smile at them when you make eye contact. Try talking to them. You're apparently a senior in high school, so worst case scenario you get rejected a couple times by people you actually never have to see again.

>>41373502
my sides way too hard at this

>>41373051
Goddamn Luke. Unironically, pls respond.

>>41374271
Ever heard of Filipino girls?

>>41374412
This guy gets it.

>>41374412

nice

>>41374412
Nice Jon

>>41371746
Bro I'm 5 foot 7, do you know the things I'd do to be your height. Please just shut the fuck up

>>41373278
As if

>>41374335
Sounds memerific

>>41374412
THAKINGINDANORF!!!

>>41371746
r u me?

>out at the club
>gay dudes constantly trying to pick me up
>past their prime divorcees all wanna touch
>girl grinds on me one time
>bet her friends that she could try on my cowboy hat

Am I a faggot?

>>41373216
By my calculations she's not married so you should still try to smash if given the opportunity. Also, technically not a "friend" if you just met her. 4 years of college and then you say goodbye.

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>>41374968
>cowboy hat
Do you live in an area where that's appropriate or are you autistic?

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>>41371687
>11 years ago, college
>texting classmate about upcoming midterms in the morning
>Me: nah I'm not ready either
>Her: fuck me tomorrow
>Me: I know right might as well start preparing for the finals
>she stopped texting me and talking to me IRL
>don't care 2006 year of the MMO
>see OP's pic
>mfw

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>>41375035
>trying to pick up "country" girls at a "country bar"
Appropriate, but yes the charade is autistic.

>>41374014
>old folks just give less a fuck about hiding it
This but also you're still a fat fuck, younger people haven't gotten into the settling mentality yet. They'll start miring when you're lean

>>41375050
I honestly can't even tell if this is shopped or not anymore

help

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>>41373668

>>41375050
is this Chloe shooped? I can't tell

>Im 48 years old
>175 cm
>96-97 kg
>bald
>glasses
>grey beard
>10-12% bodyfat

the moment sb see me for the first time when Im undressing jacket and left only in rashguard t-shirt

You know fucking nothing about mirin', kids.

>>41375108
>"obliquefoto"
>no obliques

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>>41375196
>>41375212
the only shopped thing here is the sips

>>41373189
What did you start as weight wise?

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>>41374265
>just be konfidunt bro
gee thanks Chad

>>41372327
>tfw my Mum checked my room for steroids when I told her I hit a 100kg deadlift

>>41371759
probably being delusional. My friend always thinks girls are smilling to him when they're just looking at him without a poker face

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> be me yesterday
> in small, major-specific seminar class at uni
> one girl in the class is a prospective major in her senior year of high school who's taking the class early
> qt 8/10
> see her and another girl out of the corner of my eye slightly behind me
> other girl: "so are you going to go here full time next year?"
> qt: "i hope so, this programme is really fun." *motions towards me* "also this was a beautiful surprise"
> pretend like i didn't hear it
> stare straight ahead
> beat off furiously that night about putting my load down her throat

I'd like to thank the acdaemy

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>>41371687
>be me
>not even that bad lookin
>dress good
>have a nice car
>not a total DYEL
>never get mired
i dont vye for it but it would be nice to be mired at least once every few years.

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>>41375485
>pretend like i didn't hear it
>stare straight ahead
>beat off furiously that night about putting my load down her throat

>>41375485
nice bro
the trick is to not initiate anything, and to just jerk your wiener to the thought instead

>>41374271
Move to Japan or become famous in Korea.

>>41372919
this happened to my buddy. he has freak arms and his mom yelled at him "anon you need to stop , you look ridiculous, you're starting to look freakish" he starts to doing body builder poses until he rips a huge fart and we leave for the gym.

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>>41374412
>hey are you up
>yea are you?
>yep

>>41373819
Wow, he enjoys something, fuck him right? You sound like the guy who only drinks local craft beer and won't shut the fuck up about it.

>>41371759
> oh shit the weird guy glanced at me. I hope my friend comes quickly, he may be dangerous
>I'll keep an eye on him in case he tries to do something fishy
> fuck he's looking at me again? Why is he not looking away? What does he want?
>friend is done, phew. I'll look back to ensure he does not attack us from behind
> fucker was staring at us, probably eye fucking our asses

>Reading on phone in upper level of college food court
>DYEL weeb friend follows me (I had just finished talking to his group, who really wanted to include me, about some plans for the next day)
>He's talking about some shit I'm not paying attention to
>Notice qt staring at me from seats behind DYEL weeb dude
>She's talking to her friends and constantly shifts her vision towards me
>Make eye contact and she smiles
>She licks her lips and breaks it after a few seconds
>Look back at friend but focus my peripheral vision on her
>She's constantly turning to me and points me out to her friends
>Spend most my time there making eye contact with her
>Waves at me as I stand up to leave
>She has a lip bite smile on her face
>Give her a small wave back
>
>Never spoke to her

Honestly, I didn't want to meet her since I already had a pregnant girl try to trick me into fucking her so she could, I assume, say the kid was mine, so I was a bit paranoid of any womans' interest in me.
I still am.

>>41373189
>From skeleton to 16 inch arms in 6 months

Sure thing budy, unless you had 15 inch arms to begin with or you have a fatceps, this did not happen.

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>“We like cuddling! Muscles are disgusting! We don’t like men who are obsessed with the gym! >We want to look better than the man!” they would say.

>At this point, I started getting annoyed with their behavior, and asked them the following question:

>“What type of man are you looking for?”

>They paused for a second, and replied “Well, obviously a nice guy that’s going to treat us with respect, and who can communicate in a way that does not offend us.”

>At this moment, I had a big smirk on my face, knowing damn well that what I was about to say next would cause them to flip out.

>“So then why do you cheat on your boyfriends for asshole guys like me?” I exclaimed.

>They were silent for a few seconds, and then suddenly went full bitch mode.

>“You’re such an asshole, Alex! You don’t talk to a lady like that! Go fuck yourself! You don’t know what a woman likes!” they screamed.

>Of course, their words didn’t faze me.

>I just sat there in a calm and collected fashion, as I sipped on my cool glass of lemonade.

>After about 5 minutes of them ranting at me, I cut them off and said “So when are we fucking? Next Tuesday or next Saturday?”

>They quickly glanced at each other, as their eyes and mouths widened.

>“What did you just say???” they barked.

>“You heard me. Are we fucking next Tuesday or next Saturday?”

>Interestingly enough, they started giggling and eventually began playing my game.

>They would say things like “You are so bold! You are so bad! You are something else!”

>Just as expected, they were coming on to me.

>>41373189
>8 months lifting
>14 inch arms
kill me now

>>41373553
Was the same, joind the church (catholic), picked up new habits and met a qt while lecturing kids how to climb on a camp.
Don't worry, we're all gonna make it brah.

>>41371687
Girl at bbq called me manly yesterday even tho i have babyfat in cheeks, feels decent man, would bone

>two weeks away from being 19
>freshman year at uni
>sitting in statistics final exam
>girl sitting to the left of me keeps staring in my direction
>figure she's just trying to cheat off my test and ignore
>finish exam, get up and walk out into the hallway
>as I'm getting up she did also
>catches me in the hallway
>"hey, sorry for being weird but you have a great body"
>I get pissed off since I'm being objectified
>pull out my dad's old 1995 straight razor and hold it to her neck
>"nothing personal you vapid cunt"
>slit her throat then start running
>cops are already outside
>Goku and Krillen are there
>Goku kamehames my ass and I die
>In heaven
>God is real
>Athiest were wrong

Good things come to those who lift

>>41376231
what is this autistic fantasy shit?

>>41377152
extract from one of alphadestiny's pdfs

I work at a diner and there is an old folks home next to it. I'm constantly being winked at by older women. Yesterday a women who is at least 70 started touching my shoulders and telling me I look perfect with my beard .sometimes when I'm walking down state street random girls will point at me or say something like "that kind" to their friend
I have gotten laid before a few times just by asking "would you like to dance" and once at the end of the night just by having some drunk sloot tell me she wants me.
I don't even look like I lift either
Just a chad

>>41371687
got two

last year sometime
>work in a restaurant, server
>serving a basketball team
>clear plates from the coaches
>head coach looks at me
>"nice looking forearms, son"
>"t-t-thanks"

two days ago
>serving two women, a 40~ year old mother and her 25~ year old daughter
>mother says to me "you know, it's so nice to see a man act like a MAN these days, it's just so common to see wimpy boys that never grew up"
>"yeah I guess my mom raised me right haha what do you want to eat"

also I've had multiple costumers leave their numbers on their receipts for me


aesthetic life is EZ mode

>>41374144
i rove u, u so big, i suck suck hard u, u put ur dik in me, i love u long

>>41371746
>I grab a yard stick
>2'10"

>>41374412
no way fag

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>>41373182

>>41374412
>I'll make it fun
Reply with something autistic like
>so you have megablocks?

>>41373189
w-why are you keeping it a secret that you work out?

>>41377332
admitting you gymcel is social suicide

>>41377332
Never admit that you work out unless the person you're admitting it to also works out. Always say you play a sport or you do push-ups and sit-ups a couple times a week.

>>41373051
>Luke

>>41375859
Exactly my thoughts. Who gives a fuck about what alcohol somebody drinks

>>41377332

Going to the gym can be viewed as this thing that just naturally happens. In other words, it's an afterthought. It should not define you as an individual, unless you really want to define yourself as a gymcel.

>>41374265
5'10 is pretty bad though

>Early morning
>Walk into IHOP because fuck you we barely got one here
>Waitress takes my order
>Wait for my order as I sip my lemonade
>Old ladies are looking at me and I can hear them talking
>Analyze
>They're mostly mexican abuelitas
>They wave and laugh
>I wave back at them with a smile

>At local asian market
>"Oh, big muscles, very strong, you work out?"
>Old Jackie Chan next to me imitates bicep curl with his bag
>Tell him I do
>Proceeds to tell me how he used to work out growing up but never got as much muscle because his family could barely afford food
>Tell him, "It's never a bad time to lift and get stronger"
>He laughs and calls over his wife who spends about two minutes touching my arm

Why are old people so based?

>>41374271
I'm fully black (I guess) and I've been with some Asian girls. They like muscles too pham

>>41377905
internet and social media destroyed this and future generations.

now everyone and everything is beautiful and special.

>>41371759
Dude you're a fucking beta. First of all when someone is mirin and is looking to you, you can't break eye contact if you break eye contact that's signal that you're a pussy and if she smiling just go there dude you don't have anything to lose ffs like who cares that you talked to a girl

>>41372919
>used to be super fat in high school
>graduated college and got a bit skinnier (lost like 40 pounds)
>mother calls me every other day and asks if I'm eating enough
>Yes mom
>I eat 2 meals a day and lose weight slowly

>>41371759
but if you looked away, how do you know she was smiling when she looked away?

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>>41377124
: )
made me laugh ty

>>41372019
That was apparent from the part where he specified enjoying Mike's hard lemonade.

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>>41372019

>>41377332
Always hide your power level. Not just with lifting but with everything

>>41371687
Weighted dips are the answer. You will never get mired if you are plain strong, you need to be huge (or have abs, because they are only muscles acknowledged by cumdumpsters). But there are weighted dips. Most of dyels at my gym don't even the normal ones, so when I start doing them with plates between my legs, they stare as if I had been treating paraplegics like fucking Jesus himself. Other than this I am just a hideous steaming pile of shit, so I probably won't get mired even after reaching 3x own weight in squat.

>>41374412
>yea are you ?

>>41375260
>>41376072
From 178lbs to 205lbs as of recently
I started off with a 33cm arm, its 40cm now. My dads god tier genetics + 5 days a week in the gym + protein intake did their thing. But its worth mentioning that i have an arm span of 6'7 on my 6'3 body, and that my arms, to me at least, look too thin when not flexed.
>>41377332
The other guys already said everything

>go to the pool 5 days a week, swim 4-6k
>always the best swimmer there, training to be a pro triathlete
>pool is filled with older dudes and high school/college life guards
>sometimes lifeguards watch me swim, one said i should app to be a lifeguard bc how good I am at swimming
>girl on the college swim team swam with me once, told me I had good form and asked what I was doing the rest of the day
my phone is broke and i'm an autismo so i didn't ask for her number feelsbadman
>one of the lesser qt lifeguards always walks around the pool and looks at me while i'm swimming (i breathe unilaterally and see her looking directly at me on some breaths)
feelsgoodman

>omg you're so tall and pretty by qts
>don't even lift

>>41379122
How do you learn to swim? I've always been too nervous to actually learn.
t. Black

>>41373510
LOL

>>41379164
Not him, but serious?
Take a class or just jump in and practice
Doggy paddle is easy and just requires you to flair your arms and legs

Watch a youtube video to learn front crawl, breast stroke and backstroke
(breast stroke is best in my opinion but defo not the fastest)

>>41377332
NEVER talk about how much you work out with a girl unless she is your girlfriend and specifically asks about it. It makes you look shallow or like a health nut and is not polite because then it jades other people beacuse they immediately think about how they don't go to the gym, and whateveryone else already said

>>41377321
yes

>>41377868
what about like 5'11'' and a half... asking for a friend pls no bully :(

>>41379164
I Grew up swimming (home's development swim team for 11 years) so I have been doing it since I was like 7 or 8 (20 now), so my upbringing had a lot to do with it, but basically what the other guy said. Google some videos and technique, start off with a pool bouey between your legs to get your arms working properly, slowly add kick into your swims, it will be hard to do a 50 at first, avoid flip turns until you get more fit, you won't look silly not doing flip turns I don't do them in any set that isn't sprint so don't let someone tell you that you're doing it wrong. After 1-2 months depending on how fit you are you'll be able to do sets in the pool that are like 1-2k maybe more depending on how fast you progress! good luck buddy :)

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>be me
>18, first year home from college for summer
>at a party, nothing too big but a few qt's
>have a game of beer pong going
>one friend doesn't drink, so we bought a bunch of finding Dory temporary tattoos for him instead
>since there's plenty to go around, we all wind up putting some on
>finally get to show off my arms, roll up my sleeves and put on the tats
>ivebeenwaitingforthis.jpg
>"wow anon, have you been working out? Your arms look so big!"
>it was my mom, I walked home alone that night
Its a start I guess

>>41374412
>1:03
>1:02
god damn like clockwork

>>41375485
my man

>>41376041
oh buddy always be paranoid women are fucking mental 10/10 women are crazy and 9/11 girls like to be choked

>>41376072
Bruh, not the guy you responded to, but I have freak armspan(6'6 on a 6'3 dude) and it happens. I started at 120 with 13 inch arms and hit 180 with 15 inch arms in 6 months.

>>41377868
5'5 manlet here
I need a ladder to make eye contact with anyone
>b confidunt breh
Fuck off

>>41379287
You're 18, hanging out with 18/19 year olds
Give it time

happened today lads
>at work (labouring today outdoors in the centre of town)
>sun's out, i'm in a tshirt and shades
>there's this hottie working in the same area
>walk past her with a heavy plank of wood, the shape of it makes an underhand grip easiest so my biceps are flexed
>catch her triple take me, she thinks i can't see cause i have sunglasses on
>felt great

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>>41371945
>Mike's hard lemonade (so delicious)
W-what happened to this site?

>>41379432
what's the matter with Mike's hard lemonade?

>>41373451
>>I pity everyone below 6'
t.Warehouse worker

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>>41371687

>>41379566
Where in the United States can I find a fertile girl like Taylor Hill? Anyone care to help me out?

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>>41377332
no one must know

I get mired out at bars pretty a lot when I go out, sometimes on the street, last week I went to atlantic city and some girls jaw dropped and said "OMG" came up to me and we started making out then she told me she had a husband, I think he was there and was a cuck or something. She said I kind of look like david gandy but I disagree.

>>41375233
ok grandpa

>>41372353
>Fast Food

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>>41375233
how's campus life

>>41373051
Based Luke

>>41375233
Can we have a pic?

>>41379620
I made out with a girl in front of her fiance, got warned (was too drunk to realise what was going on), it happened again and then he punched me in the face and was dragged out by security

I still find your story hard to believe

>>41379460
Its so tangential to the story including the detail seems like hes getting the mike's lemonade big bucks

>>41371945

14" filled a shirt to the brim? was it a womens size?

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>work at a shitty retail store
>coming off break wearing a tight black tshirt
>see three qts who look 4 or 5 years younger than me
>stare them down like Clint Eastwood because autism
>one catches my glare and looks at me like a deer in the headlights
>She loudly says "Hi!"
>I panic, give a confused look and walk away from them
>hear her friends say something like, "he's not going to want to talk to you now" or something like that

Don't really know if it was a mire or if I was being mocked in some way, but it was definitely an unusual experience.

>>41373189

You may be getting mired, buy lying about working out, what a fucking autist.

>>41375485
>>41379338
I fucking love this board

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>>41371687
I get mired often but this happen today
>walk into my friend's class and see some of my bros and classmates arm wrestling
>figure out why not lets give it a try
>there are all skinny and two of them are a bit chubby
>basicly I win every match because no one lifts but me
>while armwrestling i heard the girls say stuff like "omg his arm is so huge" "its so veiny"
>and when I was done my arms were kinda pumped and one of the girls asked if she can feel my biceps
>my not even that big i have been lifting for 7 months and im a bit ripped
Feelsgoodman

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My tinder game is above average I'd say

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>>41379797
>full offense

>>41374412
This is how you do it

>>41379620
mighta not been her husband, maybe just some guy who was trying to hit on her. Either way he was pretty cucked. Not sure how you made out with a guys fiance with just a warning then got punched only after you both made out again, was he not telling her to stop or something? How do you know it was his fiance?

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>>41375318

>>41373189
>>41377332
I hate telling people that I lift because one: it's fucking obvious that I do, but also because there is no way of just saying "yeah I workout" without sounding like a super douche.

Depending on the company I might joke and say "no i just take a bunch of steroids" or "nah i just jerk off a lot" for lols out of my friends and mixed company.

>>41375485
Reminds me
>on train coming home from work
>two nerdy girls get on and sit next to me
>they're talking about anime and disney and other autistic shit
>keep seeing them glance quickly at me in my peripheral vision
>after a while they go silent and one says to the other:
>'I know what you're thinking... I agree hehehe'
>goofy laughing
>I sit and stare out the window as if I wasn't listening since there probably isn't any other appropriate reaction

Were they 'mirin or were they mocking me? Were they even talking about me?

They were 'mirin

>>41379668
this made me breath faster in panic

I'm 19 and then 20(!) in fucking THREE MONTHS and my life is slipping by and I will become 46 and still a loser

>>41379160
(You)

>>41379762
She was probably nervous, bro, but I can't say I haven't done the same exact thing. No worries you got it next time, working in retail is the best pussy slaying.

>>41379068
>I started off with a 33cm arm, its 40cm now

in 6 months?

yeah, no

>>41380026
Totally feasible, you're just stuck in a rut following shit advice from bunion ridden nerds on a Chinese finger and toe nail polish focused newsletter.

>>41376231
>my cool glass of lemonade
was it mike's hard lemonade though

>>41379853
>was he not telling her to stop or something?
I was blackout drunk, I only remember bits and pieces (don't even remember being punched but remember the moment right afterwards) I'm pretty sure she was pretty wasted too. I dunno?
>How do you know it was his fiance?
He asked a friend of mine what he would do if he saw someone making out with his fiance in front of him

>>41375753
>it tastes like eating a piece of shit in hell

this skit made me laugh so hard

>>41377332
Always hide how much effort it takes to do things

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>>41374271
iktf bro
>if you ever go to japan most girl with passionately avoid you

>>41375485
similar
>at work
>taking to old classmate
>her sister walks up
>9/10 goddess
>talk for a bit more
>start heading back to work
>sister yells "Hey you're really cute!"
>pretend I didn't hear anything
>power walk to my kiosk

>>41373051

No but seriously though don't be a rude cunt, respond.

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Meeting up with this 49 year old German milf this Friday to fuck. She keeps mirin the bod and calling me sexy. Fuck it if not sfw I've made it and I'm proud

>>41381605
Nice body
Shame about the face

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>>41381672

>>41381605

she's 49...

>>41381605
body 8/10
face 5/10

good job anon, try not to cum inside her, even if she on bc

>>41381686
that was her atleast 10 years ago bro, don't fall for this shit

>>41381605
>>41381686
I hope you don't get catfished anon. She is flames

>>41381689
>her body is sexy
>she is desperate to please
>she will spoil your dick
>she will probably let you fuck ass
>she will probably buy you shit if you become FWB

lol brah

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>>41381605
>>41381686

Looks bretty gud

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>>41381689
So what>>41381719


We live face called she's real she owns a lingerie store

I just don't know how he she wants to fuck. Should I focus on making her cum or should I just focus on myself.

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>>41374412
FUCK YOU CHADDDD

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>>41381711
>try not to cum in her

I'm definitely going to try and cum in her seems so hot especially almost 30 year old gap

>>41381751
Always focus on yourself. Fuck her as hard as possible, finish, then decide if you wanna finish her off at the end (if the sex was any good and you wanna do it again, you should return the favor)

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>>41381751
>owns store
>buy u shit

told u, choke her (srs but ask first), make sure to eat her out for a good long time (10 min atleast), make sure to switch position alot and tongue play, as wella s see if she likes ass stuff, if so fingers in but minimum, and lots of play with clit while fucking, also when fucking her ask her if she uses toys/vibrators some girls liek vibrators on clit while being fucked, while choking if u never done it b4, avoid atoms apple, the point isnt to cut airs its to cut blood flow, do it at highest point on neck and contract quick hard, not to hard the trick is to be firm, make sure to give her some spanks too and play with tits and nipples.

good luck

>>41381686
>>41381686
>over-exposed blurry image
>>41381605
>>41381751
>>41381767
dude, i hate to say this, but her face couldn't look manlier

>>41381767
the next 9 months of your life will be hell

>>41381794
I was going to all that to the exact! Glad I got that covered

Should I fap before hand so I don't blow my load too fast because the thought of fucking this older broad makes me crazy.

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>>41381817
>hating on based Aryan German facial aesthetics
Pleb

>her face couldn't look manlier
She could have facial hair, for starters

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>>41381817
She got that Germanic look idc man I think she hot. She looks dominant

>>41381828
would u rather blow to fast or be limp?

just do lots of foreplay, if you need to stop then go back to eating out till ur good she will appreciate, use think of grandpa chick to keep going, or fuck use a condom, u will likely get 2rnds with fox anyway

>>41373130
>>41374425
>>41381515

She's really unattractive so I don't feel like replying, women have been doing the same for years so she's just going to have to learn to live like the rest of us spergs do.

>>41381686
>>41381605
Bruh good the fuck on you.

Here's my contribution
>November last year
>at a houseparty with a friend
>pretty out of shape not lifting for a month
>enter pixie-cut, dark eyed Mexican girl
>short, fit and holds herself like a bad bitch
>dick is intimidated
>lock eyes for a few seconds at a time from across the party
>eventually wander over, she's shutting down someone as I get there
>dude leaves and she just smiles at me
>make smalltalk
>thanks me and goes to dance with her friends
>get dragged into the bathroom by buddy and rail coke until we leave
>fast forward to Feb
>lifting since December again
>she grabs my arm from behind at the bar
>double takes and feels my arm up
>buddy knows whatsup and we go outside with her friends
>every now again she breaks away from conversation and looks me up and down
>everyone starts leaving, I'm standing up saying goodbyes
>she starts yelling to someone behind me
>grabs my shoulder with one hand, and rests her other on my chest
>leans into me
>lock eyes hard, she smiles and I say goodnight
>turn 360 degrees and walk away

Probably should have done something, I haven't seen her since.

>>41381839
she looks like that dude from lord of the rings

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>>41379788
>arm wrestling in school
were you also punching each other in the stomach afterwards to show how much pain you can bear without showing a reaction?

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>>41381867
Good idea if I feel I'm coming I'll eat her out. I gotta go bed now I'll let you boys know how it goes I'll try take pics !

>>41381751

Depends on how long you take to cum 2bh.

I'm one of those guys who takes for fucking ever, so I try to just focus on myself because no one wants to have sex for two hours (gets old after about an hour)

>>41381900
>ask her if you can video her, say u wont record her face

>record her face

not for /fit/ or anything just i started on the lest 3 chicks i fucked and wished i would have started sooner

>>41373051
What was the question? How many midichlorians are in your dick? Come on.

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>>41373051

Still haven't replied and she found me on tinder, fuck

>>41381944
why not reply?

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>>41374021
>Elementary school never ends. The kid with the fastest sprint and highest jump gets the mires
Truth

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>>41381944

Just fuck her you queer

Post her pics so I can live vicariously through you

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>storm into a southern buffet like Katrina
>People are looking at me
>the waitress gives me a special seat
>I'm nearest to the restroom.good
>She keeps asking if I want deserts and soda
>Sheeit,people are all looking at my plates and giving me the general mire
>I'm 700lbs

>>41373051
>>41381944
>>41381891
Doesn't anyone else see the issue here? Luke isn't talking to her because she's really unattractive, yet he matched with her on two different dating apps. At best you're swiping right on ugly women which fucks with the matching algorithm and you'll be presented with more ugly women. Lol

>>41381957

Probably autism when it's so hard to say no thanks.

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>>41381944
Should have told her from the beginning you weren't interested you fuck wit. What kind of fuck boy are you?
>women ghosted me a lot! Now it's payback time!
You got a man and rise the petty shit that women do.

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>>41381891

You're not the person Gandhi knows you can be

Be the change you wish to see in the world

Give her a charity fuck.. I mean, as long as she's not super ugly.

Post her pic though, I'm genuinely curious to see the type of girl who not even a /fit/izen would touch.

>>41374190
Keked pretty hard to b q h senpai

>>41382024

I autoswipe then sift through the matches before I decide whether or not I want to talk to them, no point in falling in love with girls then not even getting matched. Occasionally I feel obliged to reply to their messages out of politeness which is what happened here and now Im getting spammed.

>>41382054

should I give her your number my sire, the great white Knight defending fair maidens from the scoundrels like me.

>>41374265
tfw when 5'3 and gotten more pussy than this autismo

>>41382192
Yeah, and I stand by what I said. You're only fucking yourself by swiping on people that you're not interested in. The matching algorithm will adjust the "quality" of women presented to you based on what you're swiping right on.

>>41382226

I live in new Zealand, have a tiny population so I run out of matches within 100km of me all the time, I'm not missing out on any women doing it this way.

>>41382261
I don't think you understand. There's an entire subset of people that won't ever be presented your profile because you're in different leagues i.e. you're interested in low-tier people because you swipe right on them.

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>>41371945
>(so delicious)

>>41382192
You really are daft aren't you? What did I write that even remotely seemed like I was defending her. You are running away instead of saying bitch I'm not interested or some variation of it. The more you run the more she'll pursue you. Luke you are a grade A retard and belong here.

>half flip
>travelling to flipland with family, primarily with my sister
>girls sneak creepshots in coffeeshops of us together
>people assume we don't speak tagalog and audibly say how beautiful they find us
>encourage this by only speaking french to each other
>museum ticket seller loses her spaghetti in front me, speaks in stutters and stares at my chest, gives me student discount even though I forgot my student ID and it's not for a flip university in the first place
>go to a bar just once with my uncle, hit it off with a couple mestiza's enamoured with my height (I'm barely 5'11 tho)
>come back home and return to being utterly average and ignorable
Fucking hell, if I'm never going to meet the standard of beauty at home, emigration to povertyland might be alright.

>>41381751
Ask her to teach you things or you have no balls.

Spend some time learning tricks from her, spend the rest of the time holding her in the air as you fuck her like a power hammer.

>>41374190
>Annie only fucked Padme
>started watching Clone Wars
>all the bitches love Obi Wan
Obi Wan was such an alpha

>>41375233
>those stats
you'd look 'way too muscular' for 100% of the female population if they're legit.

>>41382404
you don't meet the beauty standard at a poor country, you meet the money and "mysterious" standard

t. good looking guy in a poor country

>>41382576
That's certainly true to some extent, but I'd still get considerable attention in well-to-do neighbourhoods.
It was probably the french. High school french was a good idea.

>>41373051
I can delete all my outgoing texts in a conversation too

>>41371687

More of a /makingit/ story but here goes.

Me and dad have always had a great relationship, but I never felt he was proud of me. Don't get me wrong, I've always felt that he loved me but never once have I felt he wanted to boast about me.

Until last month, he met my girlfriend for the first time and I'd been out in Queensland forms couple months with her for a meet-up with her parents. I'd noticeably gotten more muscular, had a respectable haircut with a neat trimmed beard and a solid, cute, polite woman with me.

Dad was grinning ear to ear the whole time, said he was proud of the new me. Cried tears of joy the second I got home.

We're all gonna make it brehs.

>>41379287
>18

keep going, you'll be a god at 21 if you take it seriously

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>>41382696
The dad mire, the hardest mire to get. Well done friend, maybe one day I too will get this mire.

>>41375050
Wow, she is BIG

>>41382289
You have a MASSIVELY inflated idea of the complexity of Tinder's algorithm. Tinder is the app world's equivalent of a car held together with duct tape. There ain't no fucking attractiveness evaluation going on there.

>>41374412
I WANT THIS

When you're hot you can masturbate as much as you want and not get judged

>>41375050
Tfw you have body dysmorphia for another person

>>41375576
Well, here's a (you) for now, keep your head up Anon, we all gonna make it.

>>41382837
It's the equivalent of bro science for tinder, and our mutual anon fell for it. They say dumb shit like that to impress their friends and justify wasting time by selectively swiping.

Prove tinder has an elo system, I'll be here.

>>41376231
No anon this is bad you shouldn't think like this

>>41377124
pshhhhh.. nothin' personell, kid

I went from 310lbs to 270lbs and my dick went from 6.3in to 7.5 in

is this making it?

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>>41371687
>I think you're cute

Never lifted in my life.

>>41379906
Insecure

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>>41371687
>went to new city
>had my gym so I went there
>first time working out at this location
>it's 5:30 AM
>Time to slay arms day
>one hour into arms day
>a gym employee asked me
>"how often do you get told you look like Vin Diesel?"
>my response "No you got it wrong, Vin Diesel looks like me."

Today was the third time since I got /fit/ that I have been told I look like Vin Diesel. It's my favourite compliment. I might have blushed because I was so happy.

>>41383047
>No you got it wrong, Vin Diesel looks like me
Genuine kekle. If it was the third time, I'm guessing you rehearsed it in your head.

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>>41379719
Mike's hard lemonade is a trash tier drink.

>doing hammer curls
>listening to Amon Amarth
>QT is OHPing next to me, looking in the same mirror
>finish my set and look over at her
>she sees me look and smiles at me
>shoot back a heavy scowl because THOR, ODIN'S SON/ PROTECTOR OF MANKIND
>have a GF anyway but don't want the qt to think i'm gonna murder her
>fugg

>>41371746
if true, you have actually been brainwashed by fit

>>41382696
Giving me hope, breh.

>>41383065
I did haha

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>>41374265
Hey there little fella :3

>>41382079
>Give her a charity fuck.. I mean, as long as she's not super ugly.
Yeah I'll get right on that as soon as some 10/10 models start giving me blow jobs after work as charity.

>>41382192
>should I give her your number my sire, the great white Knight defending fair maidens from the scoundrels like me.
kek

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>>41377124

>be me, 18 years old
>was very fat and unattractive in high school, went to college and everything changed
>the goddamn glow
>hot popular guy i used to know from home who was never kind to me hits me up one night
>really macking, it gets dirty
>feeling myself, can't believe he noticed me
>we decide to meet up that summer when we're both home
>meet up at a park
>give 10/10 head
>fuck on a picnic table

>ghost him
>years later he still sends me in depth fantasies he has about me
>always talking about that blowjob
>just not into it anymore. a different girl. really wanted attention, got attention.
>you're always learning and growing
>not interested in sex and can't get turned on unless im in love with the person

Cool. Shame me

>>41372507
Now you just gotta fuck her to earn your ALPHA badge.

>>41383465

>not interested in sex and can't get turned on unless im in love with the person


Clearly you've never met Chad

>>41383465
lmao, ok?

>>41372719
Not even mentioning vodka or semechki. Confirmed fake.

>>41383530
no i have. i have to feel real romantic attraction to a person before i even find their face attractive.

>>41383404

underrated

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>>41383465
and?

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>>41377124
Hehe

>>41382837
>>41382937
If there wasn't a scoring system, people wouldn't get invited into this you retards. You're massively underestimating how much time they put into this, especially when it's the main component of their app.

https://www.engadget.com/2017/03/08/there-s-a-secret-celebrity-only-version-of-tinder/

>>41383465
>>just not into it anymore. a different girl. really wanted attention, got attention.
>writes a post completely unrelated to the thread that begs for attention

kek, wymyn

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>>41373819
>Caring what goes in another MAN'S MOUTH

>>41375212
yeah is shopped they made her smaller

Anti mirin story

>Bf couldn't get hard.
>I know it's probs coz he's tired but I've had really bad BDD recently and this made it worse.
>Feel so ugly want to die.

>>41381193
you would be a novelty, don't let your dreams be dreams bro

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>>41377124

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>>41382696
i miss my dad now

>>41382696
that was actually heartwarming, great job anon, hope your life goes even better from here on

>>41384374
forbid him for fapping for 4 days then fuck him, trust me i'm a doctor in non medical erectile dysfunction

>>41380936
THIS

>>41384611
He hasnt fapped, he never faps. I live with him and would know, he doesnt even fap in the shower because I go in there.

>>41373146
How do you guys get an interaction with A female to this point?

>>41384685
I lived with my ex for 2.5 years and fapped daily, sometimes twice, on top of the sex.

Guys are like masturbation ninjas. He probably says he doesn't because some girls take it personally and are afraid that their guy doesn't find them attractive.

>>41384782
Oh, and I only got caught once and that was because she came home early.

>>41374021
Humans evolved to be agile, good cardio conditioning, long endurance sprinting.

Think basketball players that could throw spears.

>>41384782
No he really doesn't, he's not ashamed to fap or tell me, he last fapped about 4 months ago in the shower.
It's not that.

>>41381898
Kek'd all the way to the Amdromeda Galaxy, I'm out gents

>>41382696
Earning the respect and admiration of your father is the holiest of holy.

>>41383370
okay legit i wanna see a face pic rn, how bad could she be?

>>41384782
some dudes just don't fap. I'm one of them, I'll watch porn and can get hard easy during actual physical situations, but videos just don't do it for me, and my imagination isn't vivid enough.

>>41372719
Could have at least introduced yourself and told them you had to get back to what you're doing. It would have been alpha and just made them wetter. Nothing like making the pussy chase you.
But I'm an armchair autist, I would have done the same

>>41380071
(so delicious)

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>>41375485
Way she fuckin' goes, boys.

>>41375761
This has served me well.

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>>41383862
This

>>41382696
Good for you m8. Originally a qlder now living in Vic.

>>41379788
>scooby opening the fucking hangar door
my sides btfo.

>>41371746
Why the fuck have you got earbuds in during class?? Pay attention to your fucking lessons.

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>>41382696
>>41385516
QUEENSLANDA

>>41383477
If only I had a time machine. I was getting mires long before I knew what was up. Hindsight is a bitch even though the number on the receipt was obvious that place was like a 2 hours drive I think. She's probably happily married to some other guy in nut huggers by now. That or a single mom

>>41381767
Atta boy. Cumming in her will be the best feeling you could imagine.

>>41381751
this picture doesn't look very german to me.. don't get murdered anon :(

Got one from last week
>work as a manual labourer with my buddy mike
>working at a cafe, there are some qt waitresses on shift
>hot day, wearing a white tee, sweating
>mixing cement in mixer outside
>waitress comes outside, saying manager sent her to ask how we like our tea
>she's mirin hard, i can tell and so can mike
>mike is a skelly and jelly of my mires
>tell her i dont drink tea cos it makes my teeth go bad
>she laughs and says she'll get us some lemonade instead
>ask mike if he noticed her mirin
>mike shrugs and says he didnt
>he did
>qt comes back with 2 lemonades, puts them down on our table
>she turns to me and asks if I work out
>"nah i just do push ups in my bedroom in the morning yknow"
>she giggles and goes back inside
>i turn and grin at mike, pick up my lemonade and take a large sip
>start to choke, coughing up blood
>look at glass, its filled with cement
>i look at mike, he is staring me down
>"mike why"
>"die chad"
>die
>mikes hard lemonade

>shit body, too fat, not enough muscles
>lifts overall too low for how long I've been working out

>tell someone I weigh 75kg
>"yeah but you've got a lot of muscle"

>"you should wear tshirts more often anon"

>"my boyfriend is too skinny, you're like perfect"

>>41383047
>tfw only get raising arizona nic cage
its better than current nic cage

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>>41387004
impressive, very nice

What does it mean when a girl makes eye contact with you several times? Im autismo when it comes to women.

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>>41387004
yes

>>41378941
>>41380936
>Sprezzatura
This is true and a good idea.

>>41387354
she wants you to stop staring at her
or she wants sex
it could go either way

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>>41387004

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>>41387004

>>41387470
its hard to not look her in the eyes when she keeps looking at me

>>41375485
That's what I call a real mire.