*blocks your path*
*looks down on the little man*
I pick him up (with one arm, natch) and move him off to the side before continuing on my way.
>>41313457
*spin-kick you to the throat*
looks like you forgot to take your alpha-brain, kid
>>41313629
> he easily dodges you as you take 5 minutes to crouch down and reach him from all the way up there and goes for your legs
*steps over you*
>>41313674
*step over him*
Oh! Hey there little buddy! Didn't see ya there...
*pushes back into pit*
>>41313457
*sneezes causing the skinny guy to fly several blocks away*
*begin conversation about coyotes*
What's that
>>41313457
"pulls out weed"
>>41313457
excuse me sir
>>41313457
THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO PLUG IN YOUR BLENDERS, HEAT UP YOUR FLOTATION TANKS TO SKIN TEMP (35.5*C)
THE WEED HAS BEEN LIT AND IT'S TIME TO SLAM YOUR KALE SHAKES, TAKE A TOKE & MARK OFF YOUR CHECKLIST
TO POP YOUR:
ALPHA BRAIN
SHROOMTECH
KRILL & MCT OIL
PRIMATE CARE PILLS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22GjkJw0WXk <---- HIT PLAY NIGGA
>YOUR FEAR FACTOR THEME SONG ALARM BLASTS THROUGH YOUR HOUSE
>YOU INSTINCTIVELY JUMP INTO YOUR HOMEMADE OCTAGON, FITTED WITH BATTLE-ROPES AND A "WRECKING BALL" STYLE CHIMP KETTLEBELL ACTION COURSE
>AFTER YOUR INTENSE WORKOUT YOU CALL OVER BRIAN REDBAN USING TING BEFORE GETTING INTO YOUR ISOLATION SENSORY DEPRIVATION FLOTATION TANK AND PACKING YOUR MOUTH TO THE BRIM WITH POT BROWNIES FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTERWARDS BY COCONUT WATER ENEMAS JUST AS THE DMT KICKS IN AS YOU LISTEN TO DUNCAN TRUSSEL AND GRAHAM HANCOCK HYPOTHESIZE THAT THE PYRAMIDS = ALIENS AND THE ARK OF THE COVENANT IS HIDDEN IN UGANDA
DUDE BOOOOM LMAO
DUDE KETTLEBELLS LITERALLY ENCRUSTED WITH WEED AND DUNKED IN MCT OIL AND THROWN OFF BUILDINGS FEAR FACTOR STYLE
>"BRENDAN SCHAUB JUST END IT ALL, I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS FIGHTER AND I HATE YOU, BUT COME BACK ON THE PODCAST SO I CAN BLOW YOU THE FUCK OUT OF THE WATER AGAIN AND REDUCE YOU TO TEARS"
>"BRENDAN "FRASER" "FUCK MY SHIT UP" SCHAUB, JUST TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT. YOUR CAREER IS OVER. IT'S TIME FOR THE SMITH AND WESSON RETIREMENT PLAN"
Joe Rogan, 2015
>YOU ARE NOW PICTURING JOE ROGAN NAKED IN A FLOTATION TANK WITH A MOUTH FULL OF POT BROWNIES TRIPPING
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cue the hempforce mustard
*pulls up article about a chimpanzee attack*
>>41313457
*injects you with DMT*
>>41313457
someone post pasta - this gorilla is like what ? 400 lbs ? jamie pull that up