>The gym mechanic forgot to change the oil on the elliptical

File: image.jpg (39KB, 390x376px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 390x376px

>>41312679
>go to use recumbent bike
>there's 190000 miles on the clock
Why are gym managers so bad at upgrading their gym gear?

>>41312679
>gym starbucks discontinued unicorn frappe

>the gym senate votes me for mechanic duty, again
this is the 3rd month in a row lads

>>41313223
Wanna swap? I got manlet branding again and I'm sick of trying to rangle those short fuckers. I'm 6'6" it's a goddamn challenge!

Went to the gym yesterday and someone left all the dumbells next to the Manlet pit,
Nearly fell in

File: pepe.jpg (7KB, 250x238px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 250x238px

>plates have over 10,000 reps on them
>owner refuses to change them

>>41313317
>2015+2
>going to a gym that allows manlets

>>41312679
>doing cardio
Pathetic

>>41313334

Lets assume that everybody does 5x5 type of workout and takes an hour to complete it. Eight different people use the plates each day. That's (5x5)8=200 reps per day. And those numbers are very very conservative. In real life they get much more reps during the day than that.

So you are saying that the owner needs to replace those plates every 50 days? I don't know where you live but at my gym we have really old equipment and it does the job well even if they are not pretty. You should maybe rethink your approach to fitness.

File: 1486520875263.jpg (155KB, 780x840px) Image search: [Google]

155KB, 780x840px

>>41312679
>nobody does plate rounding duty and all the 45's have grown completely octagonal

File: AaZVo.gif (487KB, 349x199px) Image search: [Google]

487KB, 349x199px

>>41312679
Pretty good, anon. Thanks.

File: 1492004637129.jpg (184KB, 960x960px) Image search: [Google]

184KB, 960x960px

>>41313387
>unironically being this new

>>41313387
They get lighter all the time because of plate decay. That's why you see so many plates for sale on craigslist.

>>41312679
>used my last 4 tokens in the leg press and it ran out of tickets midway through dispensing them
>don't have enough tickets to exchange for the Bee Movie plushy

>suspension system on the treadmill is shot to shit

Gonna sue when I get shin splints

>>41313519

Oh, I didn't know that. Thanks for the tip mate. I was thinking of putting together a home gym but I will not be able to keep replacing plates. Guess I'll keep using commercial gyms in that case.

>PT makes me write an essay on proper deadlift form
>i am 38 years old

>>41313520
KEK

>>41312830
You have a Starbucks? My gym's only got Cliff bars.

>they replaced the Olympic bench with a special Olympic bench
It's all pink now, lads

File: IMG_4661.png (945KB, 576x1024px) Image search: [Google]

945KB, 576x1024px

>manager forgot to feed the cardio bunnies

File: wojak tired.png (219KB, 568x590px) Image search: [Google]

219KB, 568x590px

>>41312830
>gym mcdonalds discontinued grand mac

File: IMG_4506.jpg (52KB, 422x567px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 422x567px

>gym band won't play any of your requests

File: IMG_4931.jpg (102KB, 500x362px) Image search: [Google]

102KB, 500x362px

>gym buffet replaced bacon with Canadian bacon

File: 1459216104319.gif (3MB, 362x430px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 362x430px

>the gym mercenary broke the plane crashing machine again

File: 1467443227822.jpg (49KB, 662x625px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 662x625px

>the manlet pit keeps filling with water when it rains
>three have drowned in the last week

>>41316036
>implying this is a bad thing

>taking a shit in the manlet pit
>realize the gym gypsies stole the poop scissors
>don't feel like playing dice to get them back

Any experienced lifters know some good ways to trick the gym gypsies?

File: 1491263177229.jpg (65KB, 770x702px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 770x702px

>the sauna dragon thinks it was you that stole his treasure and won't leave you alone

File: 12312312.jpg (44KB, 655x527px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 655x527px

>forgot to pay this months manlet damage insurance premium

File: 1471315416762.jpg (7KB, 306x273px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 306x273px

>Gym senate too busy taking shirtless selfies in the mirror to appoint a gym janitor
>Dead landwhales on every single cardio machine, gym smells like old big macs
>Nobody is strong enough to move them, no janitor to shoo off the rampant gainz goblin infestation
>Manlets are escaping the manlet pit, chucking around plates and shitting all over the gym showers
>This is the only gym in my town

>>41316429
Riddles from the Natty Druid work well. He's usually by the squat rack. That or just sprinkle some whey near them and the gainz goblins will come out to scoop it up. Gypsies hate goblins, so while they're distracted you should be able to grab the scissors

File: IMG_1228.png (127KB, 601x508px) Image search: [Google]

127KB, 601x508px

>incline bench press
>does it anyway

File: ree_pepe.png (97KB, 401x456px) Image search: [Google]

97KB, 401x456px

>gym rapper is selling his mixtape again
>you try to make a deal with him where you sell it while he get some of the profit
>he declines

File: 5a6.jpg (15KB, 364x350px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 364x350px

>cardio bunnies escaped from their enclosure last week
>baby chadlets everywhere

>The gym Mayor is talking about bringing in a protein tax on people who can lift 1/2/3/4

Honestly such bullshit. If weak people worked harder they'd be just as strong.

I'd campaign against him next election but he'd destroy me in the pullup primaries.

>>41316977
>>41316829
these images get more creative each time I see them

>>41316977
What kind of a ghetto shithole do you lift at brah

File: CLnMclcUEAEcvAM.jpg (28KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 600x600px

>the front desk didn't have any squat shoes that fit me so i'm not allowed to squat today

>>41316779

Contact your gains council if you're serious and not exaggerating what the fuck.

The goblin infestation is enough to warrant a shut down.

File: pep.png (295KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

295KB, 600x600px

>gym hiked the cost on barbell rental for the second time this year and it's barely even May

File: b9aff9aaeea1faea5806f9ab58c747bc00b3cdb3.png (193KB, 960x540px) Image search: [Google]

193KB, 960x540px

>gym gardener keeps neglecting to trim the weight trees

File: 1493644062062.png (135KB, 436x425px) Image search: [Google]

135KB, 436x425px

>gym dog keeps licking my buttcrack

File: Capture.png (2MB, 1469x875px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1469x875px

>>41312679
>didn't bring cash to tip the receptionist
>see her say something to gymfu and look at me
>qt gymfu refuses to talk to me anymore
>see gymfu talking to her cardiobunny friends the next day
>they all give me shitty looks

Fucking receptionist poisoned my watering hole over $3

>>41316036
Will they ever learn?

>>41317231
did you still tip ?

File: dorfman-pacific-faux-leather-fedora-3.jpg (912KB, 1400x1081px) Image search: [Google]

912KB, 1400x1081px

>>41317529
don't all gentlemen?

File: 1398891320223.jpg (27KB, 285x298px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 285x298px

>>41316036
>gym priest won't give absolution
i don't even know what the big deal is. I even said "no homo" before fred blew me

File: maxresdefault[5].jpg (90KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

90KB, 1280x720px

>hell yeah, arm day has arrived
>head over to the dumbbells
>put in two quarters and take out some 30s to warm up on
>pump out a set
>go to get some water because I forgot my bottle
>some j-hole has re-racked my weights and absconded with the quarters I put in
>check my gym shorts for more quarters
>don't have any on me
>have to go back out to my car because I don't bring my wallet inside
>as I'm heading back inside they try to charge me the cover fee again
>just go home and get no gains

File: 1490369131758.png (425KB, 506x582px) Image search: [Google]

425KB, 506x582px

>gym's mower broke down two weeks ago
>atg squats are now really quartersquats

File: zz_1490551060215.gif (901KB, 240x160px) Image search: [Google]

901KB, 240x160px

>got a ticket because I was doing good mornings at 10pm

File: 1474249508848.jpg (26KB, 367x411px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 367x411px

>only need 50 more workout tickets to afford the pencil topper

>the gym forgot to rotate the plates
>have to worry about uneven squats

File: M0kc6fC.gif (2MB, 306x240px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 306x240px

>the manlet militia started another uprising in squatraq resulting in a no flyes zone
>Flight got cancelled and now I'm stuck at LAF
Jesus will someone just teach them already?

>forgot to download workout before coming
>have to stream it in low resolution
>shitty gym wifi disconnects mid deadlift

None of these tryhard memes are even half as good as the original /tv/ ones sorry anons

>>41313387
Autism: The Post

>Gym clown sprayed seltzer water in my face today during a PR attempt
>dropped 225 lbs right on my chest because of that literal bozo
>tried to yell at him but he just kept honking his nose when i tried to talk

File: laughingoperator.jpg (45KB, 480x220px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 480x220px

>>41319509
I'm fucking dying

>>41313815
>PT makes me do a presentation in front of the whole gym about why its dangerous to curl in the squat rack

File: 1482623413606.jpg (77KB, 720x540px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 720x540px

>>41312679
>gym musician forgot to harmonize the dumbbells

>gym oracle says I'm never gonna make it

bump i need more hot memes

>>41312679
>gym goyim forgot to load my plates properly

>>41321721

>gym jew shaved down the edges of gym's plates
>1plate is only 44.6kg now

>>41312679
>squat plug dispenser gave me a pink & glitter one
Ehh fuck it, just get it in

File: 1488240119214.jpg (150KB, 1010x810px) Image search: [Google]

150KB, 1010x810px

>Gym jester left prank barbell with the rest
>Shocked me mid OHP, dropped on head
Was considering suing but it was in the contract

File: REEEEEEE.png (141KB, 395x409px) Image search: [Google]

141KB, 395x409px

>Smith machine fusion reactor overheated again

>Gym Writers strike in third week; no-one has any new programming

>>41321927
>treadmill flux capacitor went into overdrive
1988 here I come

File: 1470729705164.jpg (119KB, 1200x936px) Image search: [Google]

119KB, 1200x936px

>Someone stole all the skateboards

File: 1488388967479.jpg (20KB, 680x680px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 680x680px

>gym still allowing manlets
>swolalition struggling to disarm weights from them when they use
>manager refuses to fill manlet pit with concrete

Fuck ethics. Just cleanse this shit

File: double-yolk-eggs.jpg (27KB, 560x300px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 560x300px

>>41312679
>one of the gym chickens laid double yolk eggs again.
Double the gains AH HA HA.

>gym quest giver called in sick today
Wtf m8. How am I supposed to get my exp if I can't complete quests by doing reps?

>Vlad the Gympaler is hogging all the barbells to intimidate his gym nemesis again

Very good thread deserves BUMP

Gym ran out of hard hats so the council has put a ban on skull crushers

File: 123456432.gif (7KB, 645x773px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 645x773px

>>41312679
>the gym owner forgot to inflate the pneumatic barbells again

File: IMG_4937.png (1MB, 1136x640px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1136x640px

>gym preacher doesn't use a King James Bible

>>41314443
Underrated

>gravitational vortex stabilizer on the fritz again
>pull up's train triceps
>dips train lats
>manlets keep getting out of the pit and chewing on the cardio bunny's ankles

This is really fucking with my work outs but council says repairman won't be in for another week

>>41317800
Underrated desu.

File: pepe gun.png (231KB, 540x525px) Image search: [Google]

231KB, 540x525px

>>41312679
>gym clown REFUSES to inflate my plates

File: 1493833395502.jpg (7KB, 250x224px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 250x224px

>>41319970
>tfw my gym offers bachelor degree programs in natty lifting

>>41322744
That'd be a pretty cool app actually

>someone put petrol in the water fountain again
>aboriginals set up camp in the gym

>>41325022

no, no it wouldn't.

>owner didn't spay the 45s
>hundreds of 0.5lb plates are all over the gym

is this reddit or something? your not funny, you are repeating the same shit over and over again, might as well create another GENERAL because you are lame as fuck

kys

>>41325224
>gym owner didnt satisfy the gym goblin's anus
>posts on the gym forum with grumpy posts
fuck you

>>41325210
Aww, cute! Take a few home, they're really friendly and you could have your own home gym for free if you feed them right.

>have to pull 24 hour desk duty for the SECOND time this month
>no comp time

File: image.png (73KB, 726x660px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 726x660px

>did deadlifts today
>died
>had to wait for someone to come do preacher curls to resurrect me

>>41313519
Depends on the material. After a few months a 45lb iron plate will weigh less then a 45lb rutherfordium plate

can i save dis thread?

somehow you faggots manage to be worse than /tv/ Jesus christ

File: 1468980442580.jpg (19KB, 300x354px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 300x354px

>Got a ticket because I forgot my squatting license at home

>gym enforces a speed limit on squats
>have to pay additional on membership to pay fine

File: Tgar.jpg (59KB, 540x542px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 540x542px

>gym mathematicians fuck up an equation
>weight changes to -170
>muscles and skin inverted into negative

>pay 5$ for 5 reps of squats
>accidentaly did 6
>loud sirens and blue light
>quickly insert my squat plug in
>gym police arrives
>they give me only a fee for rep exceed
>mfw

>>41327771
I laughed

>Get to the gym 4 minutes after mandatory lifting time
>have to pay a late fee
>long line for the squat machine
>everyone is doing horizontal pull ups there
>Paid the late fee and it was fucking horizontal day
>Got made fun all day for being late and didn't even get to lift

>>41327507
>squats
>has home

File: lol.gif (3MB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 500x500px

>gym jester tied a manlet to one of the anti-gravity plates
>remained stuck to the ceiling of the atrium for 4 hours

The gym DJ called me a square when I messed up the OK Go choreography on cardio day

File: 1494019591649.jpg (84KB, 446x599px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 446x599px

>gym consul declares war on the gym senate right in the middle of my deadlifts
>side with the senatorial partisans since they were closest to the dumbbells
>consuls throw ladders into the manlet pit in return for vows of loyalty, turning the tide against us
>6'5" UltraChad declares himself imperator and decapitates the receptionist with a barbell

what a fucking day